Tag: Thanksgiving Day

Chronicle 147 ~Forgetting A’s Yeah B~

WillLeave a comment

This was my son’s “Christmas.” Sure he would get a large fry for himself on birthdays. His aunt baked him a cake. He’d get half my fries when I stopped for fast food. Today though, he’d get to see Grandma and, of course, turkey. Forgetting A’s Yeah B

Thursday, November 25, 2021

Chronicle 147 ~Forgetting A’s Yeah B~

298 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? If “Only Gone From Your Sight” is to be believed, nothing I do tops wherever…

Only I ask that you allow me to try. Now we never did the holidays though you stuffed your face full of fries on many birthdays. There was also the time your Aunt Carolina “baked” you a cake. And let’s not talk about my Emergence, but there was steak, Braxton. Anyway, today is your Christmas or, instead, Happy Turkey Day. Can you tell that I’m trying to remember all the good times? The way you would dance around. And B, if you’re a good boy, pretty lucky one, grandma would pat your head. Thanksgiving dinner. Braxton, this isn’t me being a smartass, but you do remember last year? She brought a whole turkey… You were here to share it with.

Speaking of sharing, you know it’s my routine to share my sins on Wednesday. I did plenty, but I’m talking to you a bit earlier, not by much. You know about this time with NaNo season, I’m deep into my writing. There was the time ants invaded us one year. While I was working this afternoon, I found that I got 4,600 words down before 5:00 PM. So that’s good for me, right? You know what I’m doing half the time… But do you know why I got this done today? I didn’t stop to cry over you. Oh, I sobbed later, B as always. Braxton, it was like you weren’t on my mind at all. Language of the Heart, Only Gone From Your Sight.

It gets worse B III. Yesterday I spoke about things from my past. There are things I bought or did before you were ever here. I’ve been lugging one around with me all day. I feel as Ellie did some “Its light on the reading, but its got some interesting photos,” Um, yes and no. English Visual Novels B III. We would lie right where I’m sitting now, and I would read all sorts of stuff. Of course, things like cough Virgin Roster cough I saved for when you went to bed or got in trouble. Finally, there was what concerned me before you died. I shouldn’t cough, and I should say you’re still alive. Right now, though, I’m hungry, and I can’t share with you. Forgetting A’s Yeah B

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Episode 144 ~Get No Satisfaction, Will~

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I can get plenty of food, especially today and I am grateful, my little boy and I aren’t fighting, and the little pests have all found destruction, still a speck here or there but my anxiety & desire… my sweet buttery Jesus. Get No Satisfaction Will

Thursday, November 22, 2018

Episode 144 ~Get No Satisfaction, Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, don’t pay for what’s in the middle, no you never pay for the pussy, hearts should never know brokenness, barter, or a price, you don’t look to afford what goes between her lips, comes out of them, or anything to break the silence. Well I didn’t make a million, but I did save with Thanksgiving dinner arriving today, that’s probably something better to be thankful for honestly, my belly is full, my dog is comfortable, and while my motivations say that my comfort zone is my enemy, I’m Feeling Good.

So why aren’t I satisfied, why do I not seek out satisfaction besides Rule 009 “Satisfaction, The Death Of Desire” by the time I have everything I could want I might as well be dead, but I wake up to the teasing every single morning. You remember how I said that when I return to the house, I have fifteen minutes to decompress, to make it as though the day didn’t happen after that I don’t I have to live with anything. Depending on how that goes I either feel an overwhelming sense of shame or clarity of mind, both I find right after a Fapping session, and that is not anything to pure satisfaction.

Not like for “Pay Two Plague” you do remember my NaNoWriMo novel, oh how I would find teasing for writing it but my characters are straight to the point, over 129 ways to satisfy themselves… I am a greedy S.O.B. aren’t I? Even writing and yes this is more Lady Sophia’s thing, but there’s foreplay, I blah the actual sex, and then the aftermath is usually quite the bombshell. I swear I am not good at a one-night stand as the song goes or maybe I don’t believe there is one girl out there that could see all of me and eye all of her through the Eyes of Grace.

Hello and Goodbye, Before and After, it’s the middle that always gets me, the present, one more reason I might dream of the end of the world because when there is nowhere left to go then, I don’t have to ask her to Stay With Me. Like father like son, “B III” isn’t getting any either so what can I tell him, I’m Stuck In The Middle With You right, but a guy can still dream of a great many wants, but at the end of the day admittedly I Can’t Get No Satisfaction, Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 143 ~Before My Willing Embarrassment~

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As the song goes, I’m gonna wait ’til the midnight hour, although it’s way past that; at least I don’t have work, and this is probably the only time I wish I did despite not wanting to get fired, humiliation though? “Before My Willing Embarrassment”

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

Episode 143 ~Before My Willing Embarrassment~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, become a comedian, but the humor in me died several years ago unless I’m wearing my mask, and that’s tonight’s first sin, knowing what I’m going to have to do Friday. I would say I will spend the whole day hiding, sin number two but that is going to be impossible which leads me to sin number three, wanting a miracle.

Can’t say I’ve wanted much else tonight, which is sin number four, not being able to say what I want, at least not all of it, no that can never happen, but that would lead to more than being a little embarrassed. Every damn day Inspector Echo when I know I’m going out into this world, it’s never with hope, the need to be helpful, or even being horny, it’s with the ancient knowledge to gird my loins for everything that is about to come. I don’t need a few nightmares to warn me of this, even “B III” saw, I don’t know if he thought his daddy was an idiot, a crazy person, or damn near dangerous, maybe he was embarrassed for me possibly.

Being a black man in America, of course I know the stories about what my “people” did to make this country great for themselves and everyone else as a whole and they got beaten, tortured, and killed for years. I suffer from Social Anxiety, Bipolar Depression, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Only so many others every single day fight their battles, they maintain, their lives are full of everything good. How about the fact that I read and write erotica, I’m an atheist, a dominant, a sadist, I hate Trump, I think we need gun control but I like assault weapons, I could go on with all of my “stupid” ideas honestly.

My point is that one of my biggest fears is that I’ll be humiliated for one reason or another by complete surprise but at the end of the day I’m walking right into it, and that’s my fifth sin. To feel that this is not a life worth living so how the FUCK should I know any thankfulness. May you forgive me for my mask, for wanting to run and hide instead of kicking butt, for waiting on the impossible, for not having what I want so ignoring what I need and for hating life at the start of another day, even In The Midnight Hour, so Happy Thanksgiving and cheers Before My Willing Embarrassment.

I Will Have No Fear