Tag: Worry

Log 177 ~Will Wait For You~

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Merry Christmas, but the TRUTH isn’t a gift many people want but we all need, only as I asked myself, did I honestly need to say all of this on such a “magical,” “holy,” “capitalistic” day? Will Wait For You, and Happy Holidays

Wednesday, December 25, 2019

Log 177 ~Will Wait For You~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I’m waiting to see that man in the mirror? If anything, I told myself I would be dreaming in bed tonight. A full eight hours, 11:00 PM to 7:00 AM, but at the moment it’s 10:55 PM. I guess I couldn’t wait, and no, I’m not going to sing the chorus of “I Don’t Want To Wait.” Now before we get into what I said Christmas Eve, ahem Merry Christmas to you, me, everybody. I’ll still not a man of faith Inspector Echo, but you know I’m always running. Escaping my past, one day somehow?

Okay, so that leads me back into yesterday, Ha, Ha. I was talking about songs that I’m still getting over, and those are only some of my many humiliations. You’re asking me, must I do this today or again shouldn’t I go to bed? You remember Sunday, July 02, 2017, Lesson 001, Look Who Grossed Up? The beginning of my new blog, a conversation with Lady Luna. The more things change, the more they stay the same. I couldn’t sleep then either all because of what I said to a woman. These past few days, I’ve been commenting on another blog. I have the right to exist; that’s my mantra at the Day Job. Only I shouldn’t have talked to that woman like that and at work? It’s like breathing is an insult to everyone, even me, dear Inspector Echo.

Humming Her Humiliations Playlist:

  1. Something Just Like This
  2. Oops (Oh My)
  3. break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored
  4. Touch My Body

So which is it, and I waiting for Santa, Jesus, some pretty girl, can’t I save myself? Flipping the coin, what is it that I want and I can give you the same answer as always. I want to write a bestseller, take the cash and move to Nevada. Inspector Echo I’ll work with Dennis Hof’s crew or set out alone. Brothel, strip club, hotel, movie studio, modeling agency, more. It’s not like Santa is going to drop a few million in my bank account tonight. Jesus has never given me peace of mind. I’ve fought his followers, starting with my “father.” Girls of the world ain’t nothing but trouble but money, power, then the women, but tonight’s Christmas wish.

11:35 PM, don’t regret tomorrow, LIVE, Will Wait For You.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 176 ~Will And Christmas Eve~

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Does this sound anything like last week, at least now I could call it “TRADITION,” and I don’t have many of those, more like routines but I have no idea what tomorrow will be but if I could play Santa? Will And Christmas Eve.

Tuesday, December 24, 2019

Log 176 ~Will And Christmas Eve~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but the weather is something money can’t change. Yes, I know where my mind is going; don’t be so negative, focus on the tree in our living room. Okay, better the presents that are going around it right now. Well, more like tonight, I still have to play Santa, and what about you, Mrs. Claus, my Christmas Eve? I promise you one of these days we’ll have all sorts of Christmas traditions. A few billion isn’t enough? Yeah, aren’t we about to become some Hallmark movie.

Okay, so with Christmas movies in general, one of my favorites, A Christmas Story. I’ve always been a sucker for A Christmas Carol, including A Diva’s Christmas Carol, shocking. While I don’t remember the last Hallmark movie, some of those Christian movies are pretty good. Okay, let the presents be the most surprising thing for today and tomorrow. Oh, like my Spotify playlist, yeah, the Christmas selection isn’t much, still under an hour. Not much time for the most wonderful time of the year? I’m trying, no more like I’m doing, and Yoda is green. Now would be an excellent time actually to catch one of those old Star Wars specials. How about Charlie Brown as well, I’m not that old right but Santa Claus?

Anyway, I would say let’s go on vacation if Home Alone hadn’t scarred me for life. I’m joking, but I do want the family to see a White Christmas now and then sure. Okay, a Christmas Carol with Vanessa Williams, Christian movies, and now being cold? I’ll see myself out if you light one of those cookie candles like my mother would. If there is chicken frying in the morning, and of course, the two of us canoodling. Now that’s something that happens every day, loving you. I don’t need Stevie Wonder’s Someday At Christmas. I think I have said this once but NO MARIAH CAREY. There is an exception to that “Always Be My Baby,” or “Touch My Body.” The second one goes in my list of songs that embarrass me, hmm one more thing I need to do today. As I said, Santa is busy, and I intend to get a full night’s rest to play him, daddy, and husband all for tomorrow.

So looking to our tree, is that a star or apple; Will And Christmas Eve.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 170 ~Stupid Synonyms, See Will~

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As with last week, another early morning, and as long as it doesn’t cost me $50.00, I’ll consider it a win, unlike yesterday, along with the cash I lost three hours, another playing Far Cry 5 and countless losses. Stupid Synonyms, See Will.

Wednesday, December 18, 2019

Log 170 ~Stupid Synonyms, See Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now; otherwise, I would be mad. Well, I am Ebenezer Scrooge, and I’m still stupid after my visits from the ghosts. The Spirts of Stupidity’s Past, Present, and Yet To Come. Yes, I needed another S-word to get me up this morning.

I could always use more sleep, and my marathon nap wasn’t enough. Inspector Echo, don’t freak out, but sometimes I wish I could sleep forever. No, I’m not suicidal, but you remember last week how screwed up I felt over some words. Now I hear prettier words, and I’m poorer by $50.00. Long story short, for once ha, I was talking to this well, scammer last night. He, She, It, spoke about selling pictures for $50.00, now you do remember the previous model I had? Money well spent; anyway, this scammer talked me into opening my wallet. What’s in your wallet, not that $50.00 I was saving for a night of Star Wars. Oh, you know I’m still going, but I’ve spent about $110.00 this week and not a boob to show for it Inspector Echo. Well, do I count?

Not if you’ve seen me play Far Cry 5 lately. How many times have I died in the stupidest of ways? What about the number of times I’ve missed that fuel truck? The variety of poor life choices that can show up in an hour? Now that includes wasting that hour playing games and the three prior sleeping. I’m not having a Super Mario 64 temper tantrum like yesteryear, at least that was with my “father’s” money. Then again, what do I need money for when I do stupid things like repeating last night’s mistake.

Okay, I am trying to be a businessman. Looking for a new maid and getting talked out of $50.00. Oh, what I could have for that but what about My Dæmon. He cost me $90.00 once for stepping on the zipper of one of my hoodies and “hurting” himself. I love him, though, but what else do I love? I can’t discuss it, but the “heart” of the matter is I lost money on a promise. Last week didn’t I say, don’t treat me like I’m stupid? Last night I went ahead and proved that I was, didn’t I? Morning gratitude, I learned my lesson.

I’m sorry it cost me $50.00; Stupid Synonyms, See Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 169 ~Will At Least Until~

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Could this be my Christmas list or maybe despite everything, I’ll end up making a Hallmark movie at some point, or perhaps I’m like Santa when he needs to keep the elves hustling whatever the case? “Will At Least Until.”

Tuesday, December 17, 2019

Log 169 ~Will At Least Until~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I’m still Will somehow. Know Thyself, isn’t that right and I’ll tell you what I know. I know how I want to make my daily bread, I love you and our children more each day, and I can be a better man, every single day.

At least I’m trying, but then I look at Santa, who hasn’t changed a bit. Tradition despite everything, and while I’m real with you, I want to be magical for them. My little Dæmon knows his meals, quadruple in size. He and all our kids take pictures with Santa Claus. We bake cookies for him because my mom had one of those Chocolate Chip smelling candles. Talk about another definition of insanity. We watch all the Christmas specials on TV. A Christmas Story, Charlie Brown, A Christmas Carol, etc. I want to drive around and look at all the lights. We can trim the tree as a family. Every night before bed, I want to read them different Christmas tales. Yes, I’m trying to give Hallmark a run for their money. My Christmases didn’t include all this, but I want ours to be so perfect.

You and I can go out and see the new Star Wars. I’m looking forward to more of a red lightsaber than a suit I’ll tell you that babydoll. Still, I want to stay up at night reading novels. Accidental Santa, Christmas Cake, and that reminds me to lookup more stuff on Amazon. Our kids have Christmas List, but what about you, My Love. Well, after we fight the crowds in-store together. I suppose this is one more reason to learn how to get up early these mornings or why even bother sleeping at all.

What about when all the presents bring their joys and the year is counting down. I’m still not much of a drinker, the person I become. What happier for a bit, why can’t that be all the time? Baby girl, how I try with each moment. It shouldn’t be the season but always and forever, and I am a better man than I was before. So you ask me what I want for Christmas, and I remember my childhood. My lists were huge, and I don’t want to break out into Mariah Carey’s classic hit.

Now waiting for 24th to 1st, Will At Least Until

I Will Have No Fear

Log 163 ~You Don’t Willie Know~

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One more early morning and I don’t know what the day holds, however yesterday I would have chosen to skip a two-minute conversation or better other two words instead of feeling like I’m STUPID. You Don’t Willie Know

Wednesday, December 11, 2019

Log 163 ~You Don’t Willie Know~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now; I sound so sure of that, don’t I? If anything, I was feeling glad yesterday. Well, all it took was one woman to snatch it away. I’ve said it before, and I’ll repeat it here, DON’T MAKE ME FEEL STUPID! Inspector Echo I apologize for getting loud, especially at this early hour. THEY admit it takes 21 days to make something into a habit, right. For the record, it’s day three, and it was easier waking today, especially with an extra hour thirty. I’m still waiting for that Ben Franklin truth.

Now that is my point; why do you think I am continually seeking out knowledge? Is it wrong to be ambitious, to want to better my lot in life? I’ve finished two books this week, one by Dale Carnegie another from Natasha Bender. In the spirit of family-friendliness, I’d advise you don’t look up one of those names. Anyway, I know so much; that’s right; I said it Inspector Echo. As one of my motivations says, I am wise. I will rise, I need no guise. So I will not disguise the fact that yesterday, some black lady hurt my feelings. Am I playing the race card; yesterday the president is looking at impeachment. Look, I understand that hate is colorblind, but it’s always people that look like me SIGH. “My people” who bring me down the most as always.

What is this all about, “diabetic socks for men.” Am I not making sense? So this lady comes into the Day Job and asks, do we sell those types of socks? I’ve never seen them, so I say no. She says, “compression,” so I mull the term over, and she says, “you don’t know,” and she walks off in a huff. Talk about wearing my heart on my sleeve always. That’s one more reason I’m still running, and I’m a stickler for time. A moment to think, and I end up feeling like a moron. It doesn’t help that I’ve been physically running away these days. I’m waking up super early as Eric Thomas suggests so I can get somewhere, but it’s not to the fight. The faster I move, the quicker the day ends. I’m sorry I don’t take the time to see the man in the mirror Inspector.

I say it’s all FEAR, but You Don’t Willie Know.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 162 ~A “Will” Good Morning~

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Well I did it again, maybe not, 15 minutes later but come on I need at least three hours of sleep, still, I consider it a win and with the holidays coming up I’ll need all the energy I can get for the “family.” A “Will” Good Morning, I hope

Tuesday, December 10, 2019

Log 162 ~A “Will” Good Morning~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so why not stay in bed with you? Right now, it’s way too early, even for tradition. I read somewhere that boys marry girls that are like their mothers. Again, look at the time, I have dreams to chase, a Dæmon to look after, and demands to make. Better than demands to take like at the old job. Still, even with what I’ve made my life’s work, I don’t see any reason to rise at this hour. Nothing good ever happens after 2 a.m. only now?

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, THEY say. I still have mixed feelings about the holiday season. Once again, I’m a traditionalist, so playing Santa for our children? I want to see happy faces under the tree. If I want that, then it means working hard right now or maybe not, my love. When you do what you love and all that, but I can still be tired, right? I don’t think I even got three hours of sleep, but then I looked at you, baby doll. Yes, I am one of those types that will say you’re beautiful no matter what. Some devote their lives to studying the stars in the sky. Others have faith in angels. I have you beside me, and I don’t mean to get all sappy. Well, I don’t drink coffee, and I lost my morning cappuccino, wanting to get to work quickly.

“It doesn’t take a whole day to recognize sunshine.” FTWD

I don’t know how my mother did it all during the holidays. She would spend hours cooking up this brunch of all the classics, pancakes, bacon, sausage on one side. Then she would have all this fried chicken. Now I have been a Southern boy since I turned six to be fair. Do I expect us to one day to brave the crowds on Black Friday? I mentioned Jada Cato from It’s A Southern Thing yesterday. Why do think I work in my industry, or wake up at 2 AM? Okay, despite my worries. That is why I did go and fetch that cappuccino and returned to lay by your side. The world is full of would-be Santas. Anyway, I can think of worse ways to wake up. As long as we’re together warm, I suppose I want our kids to see a White Christmas.

Yeah, I’m not driving, ha that’s A “Will” Good Morning.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 156 ~Addict Up, Mr. Will~

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Show gratitude isn’t that right, and if I’m sleeping more then my ear must not be bothering me as much, I didn’t even mention it today, but of course, I’m always complaining about something. Addict Up. Mr. Will

Wednesday, December 4, 2019

Log 156 ~Addict Up, Mr. Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I am asleep. Today I want to talk about my addiction. No, not “The Addiction” that’s for a possible Thursday and not “Family-Friendly.” Lest I forget I’ll break into Will’s Most Hated Words. Anyway, I don’t want to offend any former addicts, or indeed the general populace. It was only yesterday my “Grand Mommy” was called by hackers using my name, saying I had a DUI, the grandparent scam. I hardly ever drink, I don’t smoke, I’m not even a fan of coffee, you know.

Will’s Hated Words:

  1. Skeevy
  2. Stupid
  3. Merge
  4. Happy
  5. Family-Friendly
  6. Just Kidding
  7. Tease
  8. Freak

Coming soon, a top ten but for now my addiction. SLEEP Inspector Echo that is my sin. You ask me how is that a sin, aren’t I a “normal” American? I hate talking about the Day Job. I’m ashamed though, for two days I stayed awake, the third I felt drugged, today I’m under the covers. Everyday Inspector Echo, I listen to Eric Thomas railing about sleep. Then I come in, get something in my system, and promptly pass out. Talk about staying hungry if it keeps me awake. No, I choose to sleep over everything. I was late with my Dæmon’s meds because I wanted to sleep. Did I do any reading today? The pillow was calling my name. What time is it now that I’m talking to you? Oh, and I missed Cherry too because I am exhausted.

I talk about being an American with a job, but I’m also an adult. It never matters how I sleep; I only want so much more. Again there is one thing that keeps me going indefinitely, but I can’t go there. One more reason sleep serves as a substitute, or I could talk about violence. Yeah, I wanted to play some Far Cry 5, but I’m hoping to stay awake so that I can watch NXT. My Dæmon nowadays is an enabler, but he’s old. If anything, I should stay awake to enjoy being his dad for as long as I can. The kids say I should stay WOKE about the issues of the day. What about my writing, didn’t I say I wanted my book published by the end of the year? Good luck with that, as if right?

Sorry, Addict Up, Mr. Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 155 ~Is Will “GULP” Gray~

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I like that song from Seal, Kiss From A Rose, and I fear I’m going gray, as the morning didn’t lie, or maybe I dreamed it up I am so tired these days, I hope I’m not so old when I find her. Is Will “Gulp” Gray?

Tuesday, November 26, 2019

Log 155 ~Is Will “GULP” Gray~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now like the alphas in most of the books I read. Now here’s a confession for you, I didn’t get into a “specific” genre until I read E.L. James’s works. You know My Love I’m a traditionalist. No Man Cave but The Study. I’m not one for a bunch of lights. If there’s anything “modern” about me, while I still keep paper copies of books, nothing beats a Kindle. So what am I going on about today, well it all started when I looked in the mirror.

I still hate mirrors as if I’m a vampire or something. Back in my day, vampires were scary, not that I have anything against Blade or Twilight. Speaking of fangs, My Dæmon wears his age well, doesn’t he? Any day now, he’s going to spout a beard, or all his hairs will turn to gray.

One more thing that will happen before I ever let you meet my “father.” The Dead don’t walk the Earth, yet. Won’t Indiana Gone be pleased? I told her that there would be WALKERS before I got married. Anyway, I fear if you met my “dad,” I would be dead to you. My mom is great; you could talk to my sister but, my dad? “I didn’t know Tony” had a son” I’ve heard that my entire life. The strange thing is I have listened to worse, that’s why I don’t lie. If I were the “Lord Of War” you would know what I do baby doll. Do I keep personal and business life separate? Of course, we have two-legged children. Still, I even keep my fur-baby somewhat sheltered. However, my point is also Indiana Gone didn’t think my father looked half bad. I’m not the jealous type I mean; the Devil has many colors.

Is that why I like black so much? Okay, that brings me back to the mirror this morning. SIGH, I found gray hairs. Baby girl, I’m an old man. It’s not just that though, between my ear, which I bring up every day and too much light? I don’t wear sweaters, but I’m always in a hoody. I’m figuring out money though we have billions. What about the news? I’m keeping up with everything. Most of the novels I write while fiction are almost biographies.

Still, I’m your old man right; Is Will Gulp Gray.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 149 ~Don’t Mind The Will~

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There was so much I didn’t cover today so lost in my head, how about the allegoric reaction from all that dust in my eyes, the fact that my ear hurts, and I practically passed out getting back my “problems.” “Don’t Mind The Will.”

Wednesday, November 20, 2019

Log 149 ~Don’t Mind The Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so does that mean I got money on my mind? Do you remember my “Show Me The Money” playlist? My thinking was that at least for two and a half hours; it was easy to stay positive? These past few days, though, I have been braindead. Keeping in mind today, I woke up an hour early and was still late to the Day Job. How about the fact that I wasted an hour of my time there getting ready for nothing at all? I bumped my head on the fan in front of a girl. Oh, and I completely blew it as a manager today, SIGH. I’m also limping towards the NaNoWriMo finish line after everything.

I could continue Inspector, but I have to be kind. How do I define being that, though? Didn’t I talk about yesterday keeping my head up? What about looking people in the eye? I keep failing Rule #2, “You Are Not A Caveman.” Inspector Echo, I tried, I gave it the college try, did I mention I never graduated? Besides that fun fact that I’m not a student, I’m also not a slave, but what did I do today? I’m not a “Master.” I don’t order people to do things for me, but again today. I am not the friend, and oh, how we are going to get into that tonight? My head hurts and again not only because I hit the fan. One day like today and I spend hours sleeping. I told Cherry and M Anime about how my feet were killing me because of driving. If anything, I am in more pain and have more shame because I ran away from those guys today. I’m a Senior Associate, Old Man, the Wardog.

Something else I don’t need to think about is My Dæmon’s age. A Dog’s Purpose is a no go right now only know he is living up to it Inspector Echo. I have to be a better father. If anything, I have to be a better man. You should also remind me not to quote R. Kelly’s lyrics. Okay, movies, R. Kelly, let me add Alanna Anderson. Don’t say I’m not “family-friendly” if you look her up, it’s your fault, okay? Speaking of taking responsibility, I finally got back to M Anime; after a month.

Sorry for my big full head, Don’t Mind The Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 148 ~An Eye For Will~

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Again not a word about NaNoWriMo, but I will finish on time; if only I loved writing as much as I love my job, yeah I hat the place, but I need it and speaking of which what about love, well I still have my dæmon. An Eye For Will.

Tuesday, November 26, 2019

Log 148 ~An Eye For Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that means I have eyes everywhere. First and foremost, I want to write books; you know that My Love. To this day, I still hate that saying about a picture being worth so many words. However, I want to study photography. I want to make movies. Before I met you, though, I loved other things, and I don’t want to offend you or creep you out. Too late, am I right? Only you know I believe the dead will walk the Earth. I know I was fearful of the Day Job. Of course, I love My Dæmon like pancakes always.

Now, as the song goes, I only have eyes for you. How about can’t take my eyes off of you, baby girl. I don’t lie My Love, again I’m not the type of man who can, I don’t know. Yes, I live in the moment, I can focus, when I look at you there’s only us. What I’m thinking is I want to love you, like I did my old job. Yes, I hate the Day Job, well the people but I was always there. Should I love you the way, My Dæmon loves his walks. When he missed one, I’ll admit I was frightened. Let me love you like I do my writing, which is every single day without fail. Oh, to love you like I do my DVR because I’m always saving every little thing important. You would have me love you like my pillow, because where am I right now, that’s sad.

Now another bit of faith I have is that love should be an obsession. With everything I love, I learn everything I can. When you understand something, it can’t hurt you ever. Today I was thinking about how I look at things. It reminded me of something out of “Prayers For Bobby.” When he was sad and miserable, his head hung low. His mother took it as a good thing. If he showed confidence or happiness, his mother was displeased. Yes, I know he was gay, not where I’m going with this, no worries. My point was when I was shy, scared, and sullen, people “loved” me ha. So I raised my head, I smiled, I studied, hope I wasn’t staring. Still, people got scared.

Only you’re not afraid ever, wow An Eye For Will.

I Will Have No Fear