Category: Lady Sophia

Lesson 195 ~What A Wonderful Word~

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Friday, January 12, 2018

Lesson 195 ~What A Wonderful Word~

Hey Lady Sophia,
No Fear, I don’t think I’m quite as bad as President Trump; that right there, words that I hate to see on the page and even worse that I feel I can relate to him. My fault am I right, is it because it’s partly honest, am I ashamed, is it the fear I keep trying to deny, or the fact that anyone can know with a Google search and it all started out with one word, I’ve said it enough, SKEEVY.

In my life, there have been three books I have failed to read, “The Moonstone,” I’m not sure on the author, and I don’t want to bash the wrong one with my words. “The Lord of the Flies” by William Golding, I know plenty of people that say it was a classic, but I couldn’t get fifty pages in and while it still sounds fascinating, I’ve never picked it up again. The Bible, well not all of it but I have read parts, and it genuinely makes me feel better… about my writing Lady Sophia, why should I be ashamed of the evils that I put down for the world to see at any point?

Is it shame though, I felt it, I was sick to my stomach last night when I went to check out “she who shall not be named” maybe she has a point on a lot of things, and the only reason I went was curiosity about her blog dynamics considering my own. I didn’t make that mistake during the Harmonic War and trust me I had much more to consider but “she who shall not be named” was an actual acquaintance of mine. Perhaps this is what bothers President Trump and myself so, knowing the thoughts of people you give a rat’s ass about, it’s what makes me a reviewer nobody cares what I think, a word is a word, a point towards greater sales.

True or not, a word I feel is more than that, I don’t know whether I heard this or dreamed it, but Words Destroy More Than Bombs, you know that is going to be a new rule. No one “person” should have all that power, and then I think to myself, I look at myself, I believe in a word, SKEEVY, and I have been trying to define Will ever since my name, shall I say What A Wonderful Word.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 188 ~Let’s Remake The World~

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The ideas have to get out some way, but I don’t want to be the only one that ever sees them but if anything I’m not a nice guy so is there such a thing as a dirty word? Let’s Remake The World, but not like that.

Friday, January 5, 2018

Lesson 188 ~Let’s Remake The World~

Hey Lady Sophia,
No Fear, as we both know I hate change be it success or failure, first you have to put yourself out there and for now, there are three ideas in my head

LIGHTEN UP, it’s about a killer that operates with fire, I’m sure there’s one done before, but it’s always good news when I can’t honestly think of a comparison. The world nowadays lacks originality without a doubt but how dangerous it is to be different in this day and age or any for that matter. Especially when all my works come back to sex, I imagine a woman being burned by the spotlight, flames if she doesn’t do what she’s asked. Yeah, I’m looking to be a banned book like my current read “The Director.”

What was it I said about being original though, I read a story prompt about a father who has four daughters that all represent the four horsemen of the apocalypse; I think that’s worth a bit of research Lady Sophia. I can’t say I know where I’m going with it yet but when has that ever stopped me before, honestly my last story just went on and on, and I still have yet to answer the question, what I’m going to do with it. There are still bad memories of my whole math fiasco, and that is what my novels are, just moving the problem from one place to another without any real solution naturally.

CRIME’S UP, yet another working title of course, but I was thinking about a hitman that would be up to kill anybody even if he must make them indulge some sin to earn their death. Of course, most of these crimes will be second circle offenses, how we are so influenced by what is going on in our lives as of late don’t you think? One story about the fire because it’s been so cold, another from Pinterest, now that was quite a scare worth writing about, and a third because again I’m fighting my nature as always and of course I’m quite the sinner.

As for the novel I’m reading as I said, Lily White got banned from Amazon and apparently everywhere else how can I expect to make money if I follow the same path? Being a writer though Lady Sophia isn’t just about the money; shall I have much higher aspirations, a thought Let’s Remake The World.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 181 ~Read Me, Read You~

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Sometimes we get to read and sometimes we are the ones whose words do something, anything, not that I have been doing much of either; yeah what else would I call 26 books and a 50,000-word novel right? Read Me, Read You.

Friday, December 29, 2017

Lesson 181 ~Read Me, Read You~

Hey Lady Sophia,
No Fear because you will know exactly where to find me, or at least where I wish you would see me because I can be a pretty scary guy and not just in fiction strangely enough. As the saying goes, sticks and stones will break my bones but words, well don’t get me started on words, according to the date I found myself writing July 3rd again.

That’s where you’ll find me getting upset with “her” words after leaving my own, and then writing more, baring myself and simultaneously burying myself deeper and deeper. Just one more girl who hates me and I’m sure I’ll find another one next year, my fingers much like my tongue need only focus on survival and nothing else, like saying what I feel because that’s usually wrong. One of the mysteries of life perhaps, if you put your foot in your mouth what do you do with your fingers, oh yeah maybe I should stop that.

Speaking of which, according to Goodreads you’ll find me in the erotica section, fourteen out of twenty-five and that’s from my reading group, and I don’t even talk to those people, to be honest, Lady Sophia. Of the people I do talk to, seven more are some authors that only wanted a review; sometimes I get the feeling that I’m just some tool, again these fingers of mine I should be doing anything else to keep busy isn’t that right? Which leaves four, two trying to make something of myself, one was a reread, and another I read for the joy of reading, and people wonder why we don’t read anymore, the pleasure, the rapture.

Sometimes I find that in my writing and when is the last time I focused on that; not since Nanowrimo, so January is going to be one hell of a month isn’t it, I barely survived November, and I had to pound a 5-hour ENERGY to be here with you today. I honestly need to do more writing, and I would call that a new year’s resolution but also a simple statement of fact truthfully.

Last but not least I hope you’ll find me there unafraid, of censorship, of knowing myself, and maybe not alone… “hope” like “love” is another word I should know how to define; a girl that can Read Me, Read You.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 174 ~My Name In Lights~

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I just don’t want my story used in some horrific real-life tale… ok who am I trying to kid, I want the infamy of the Marquis de Sade but Christmas, it’s just another day and making a wish list *sigh*. “My Name In Lights”

Friday, December 22, 2017

Lesson 174 ~My Name In Lights~

Hey Lady Sophia
No Fear, my name isn’t Rudolph, Santa Claus, or even Jack Skellington, it’s Will; don’t worry it’s also hard for me to remember sometimes or not to be ashamed of it. Being ashamed though would explain a lot, why I haven’t been working on two of the books I’ve done, be it the content, the potential of success or failure, or just particular people knowing, maybe, possibly.

Anyway, oh right, it’s nearly Christmas, and I haven’t made an Impossible, Immoral, Illegal, Insane list, so my Christmas wishes:

1. I want my name lit up it book signings, I mean years living under fluorescents, people asking for signatures.

2. The light in my girlfriend/wife/submissive’s when I come home; I don’t want to say bitch but dog level excitement.

3. Speaking of someone to come home to, a place I genuinely consider home and not just some housesitting honestly.

4. Candlelit dinners and bedrooms, and not just a bedside lamp or a TV, moments I can’t wait to see.

5. A morning I where I want to be awake but still not leave my bed because I got love.

6. Never thought of myself as a pornstar, but yeah I want to make a sex tape a life goal.

7. Gunfire, though that sort of death is too easy for some people, so torturing some people and filming it.

8. I want to be full of creativity always, bright lightbulbs in my mind; I need the darkness and light.

9. I want my name in the whispers, moans, screams of Jennifer Lawrence, Shailene Woodley, and Chloë Grace Moretz simultaneous.

10. The day I burn this motherfucker to the ground and have enough money to buy… damn my censorship sadly.

Maybe that’s something else I should ask for, the courage to say what I want in the light of my blog, MINE but hell I would settle for one solid day of work in the light of day. Isn’t that what I always do, which is a reason why I’m not too impressed with the colors of Christmas, not anyone.

The spotlight though is no guarantee, I’ve seen the brightest stars begin to flicker with one misspoken word, they can be even worse than a sex scandal, right? Does anyone need to hear my story, see My Name In Lights?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 167 ~Can Robots Write Stories~

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Robots telling my stories might be a million times better than not finishing and letting people get a hold of it, hell people might never get a hold of it in the traditional sense, since I’m so lazy in writing these days. Can Robots Tell Stories

Friday, December 15, 2017

Lesson 167 ~Can Robots Write Stories~

Hey Lady Sophia,
No Fear, I bleed plenty both on the page and the real deal, and before coming to meet you something else was as hard as steel though I kept the logic not to do anything… okay, so I could be a robot. A pervert, a depraved lunatic, a porn snob but I don’t feel like a robot because I would honestly be on time for something other than The Last Jedi movie.

How much time it must have taken to write such a tale, not to mention the similar histories, theories, what if motifs, I could go on and on and then again maybe not because I have been asleep most of the day. How about the fact that my brand of storytelling or perhaps my inspiration is going to be a high price to pay, considering all this Net Neutrality foolishness that has become so suffused with everyday life. Can I be blamed for not taking my work to print at this time as this Lady Sophia, another excuse I think?

Just like my lack of energy, if only I could run off sunlight. I sleep so many days away without a second thought or a third, not even a fourth. Still, I hear my story echoing in my mind like some incredible “Force.” If I hadn’t mentioned it before, like all this week I went to see Star Wars: The Last Jedi, spoiler alert, can you say love triangle? Not me, I’m too busy building brothels in my dreams, and I thought this whole, “kick” that I’m on was supposed to give a person more energy, at this rate why am I saving that last 5-hour ENERGY, I need help.

No, I need to stop claiming myself to be this Marquis de Sade aficionado, concerned citizen of the world, how about lazy as and just write. Even at work when I told my boss I couldn’t stay later I did so, and for what, I remembered “you put your hand on the plow, you finish the row” but what the hell does that mean to my ambitions and my dreams?

How about the tales dead men tell or don’t for that matter and neither do sleepy, lazy ones, flesh and bone should beat metal, but by the time I ever finish, Can Robots Tell Stories.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 160 ~Give Me One Reason~

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Fame, fortune, they say money can’t buy you love but for all the reasons I might want to try, I’m just tired and who knows what all this snow we bring, a few days to catch up or to do something finally? “Give Me One Reason,” and it’d better be great

Friday, December 8, 2017

Lesson 160 ~Give Me One Reason~

Hey Lady Sophia
No Fear, I could leave if I wanted to, snow and all, to think I almost chickened out because of some inclement weather and if that was for a job I hated and errands I could run later what about my book?

I finished one book and what popped up into my head to stop the editing process nut the book I finished before my 120,000-word dribble. You don’t believe me, I was thinking about spinning the whole virus angle and the reason for the game that they play; forgive me, in my deluded mind I’m still thinking someone is genuinely reading and I don’t want any spoilers getting out. Anyway is that my master plan, to keep two books in a constant state of flux, so I don’t have to edit: I am my own worst enemy when I’m writing right?

Of course, my most common enough excuse is that it’s been a long day and trust me it has been, which leads me back to the weather and almost dying. Indeed that’s yet a reason I do this because what are they going to say about me, I don’t want those lies in either life or death, read my words and perhaps it will be the first time I ever stood up for myself, and I will be lying there. Is that why my work is what it is, that I have to unleash the beast, my beautiful private purge?

With the snow falling all around us and being trapped here by exhaustion, a myriad of plot devices, and with the madness that is me I can’t help but think about “The Shining” or maybe “Misery”? I could just be hearing “Okay” in my head with a never-ending spank bank of others. So do I need to kill the old me, will it take the dog chewing off my legs, leaving me lying here typing away unable to do any of work, hell if I want my porn why not work on my story, other than the fact that my writing, I know it stinks.

That’s always my ultimate excuse to not write though how many reasons, good reasons do I have to carry on? Finish one book and then work on the others, one step at a time, one word at a time but yeah Give Me One Reason?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 153 ~The Horror, Horniness, Helplessness~

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Is it just me or has this room quieted somewhat without all the frustrated breaths, the echoes of the keys dying, earlier since I’m not working all night, my characters falling silent with their stories told? The Horror, Horniness, Helplessness

Friday, December 1, 2017

Lesson 153 ~The Horror, Horniness, Helplessness~

Hey Lady Sophia,
No Fear, until next month but even now I’m sort of at that part in the movie when, I’m in the woods lost, the car won’t start, the realization that the monster is coming. First I should off by saying and not that I’ve been crowing about it or anything but I’m a NaNoWriMo winner, finished on the 29th, 50,000 words of complete and utter… well, you know what I want to say, ignorance, garbage, idiocy, etc.

What the holy hell was I thinking, and now that it’s over now I’m just imagining what I’m supposed to be feeling now and again my creativity is failing me. In a way it sort of parallel’s my book, the guy is lost somewhere in the bowels of Hell, but unlike me he at least has somebody coming after him, a family he has never seen, but they are there. When I’m not obsessing over that, it’s the fact that I may never catch up with the life I upped and abandoned, not that it was truly doing me any favors honestly but it’s mine.

Mine just like this story one big pile of shit, and if anything, I need to be gearing up for January, but I just want to fall, fuck, or fear every single thing. Excuse my Sesame Street antics; I’m just trying to stay awake or keep from breaking down, both are viable options. At least I’m not in bed at the moment, and I would say that’s a miracle but how does one define a miracle. Maybe the question is how does one define the impossible because last week didn’t I think being here, surviving, winning, completing, NaNoWriMo, was beyond me, it’s all about me.

That’s it isn’t it, nobody else cares, and this story is as doomed as that story about turkeys taking over the world or for “For Love of Truth,” what about “Some Assembly Required” 120,000 words and 50,000 words is what I considered a challenge? Is that it, why I can’t get excited about what I’ve done now, and I just being me, perhaps I truly fear the light, am I trying to get some actual philosophical basis to my crappy sexual romp, that can’t be.

I could have just needed a new project like Andy Dufresne, but sometimes it’s the little dog at my feet. I keep telling him to wait for me, and I’ll give us both a real life, a real home but all I have to offer is writing and when I look at my latest work *sigh* The Horror, Horniness, Helplessness.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 146 ~Staying In The Black~

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Black all around us, I do mean words on the page, the time, along with my day job making all sorts of money because according to my paycheck I’m not in the slightest and yet I carry on with this farce of a book. “Staying In The Black” a while longer.

Friday, November 24, 2017

Lesson 146 ~Staying In The Black~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Tomorrow is another day, and I just don’t know, okay maybe I do know, but I don’t want to admit it, and I won’t give it words because I am so exhausted my fault of course besides work. As musical inclined as I am “Everyday I Write The Book,” and I’m nearly there if you can believe that; according to NaNoWriMo, I need an estimate of 2,200 words to finish on schedule and then what comes next.

I honestly have no idea, Lady Sophia, as it is most possibly the worse thing I have ever written and you know that’s saying a lot, not to mention I feel me and Dante Alighieri should have a conversation, seriously I feel half dead already. Should I be proud that I have given up nearly everything on this whim, that may never see the light of day, but that’s just it isn’t it, not just my life I am wasting anymore you know when you create characters and really when you know how people blather in everyday life incessantly. Am I indeed a coward, you’re damn right I am, but I am trying because with my story I am doing.

There was a movie that said I think when you save a life, you must take responsibility for it, the same as when you create a life, what sort of parent will I be, of course you know who to ask when it comes to that. If anything living is quite a cost, you pay with blood, sweat, and tears, and I could tell you plenty about that with everything that has happened this month, dammit I survived Black Friday and regardless of my wasted efforts, I have done what I set out to do at least for today. Maybe I shouldn’t worry so much about tomorrow, but you know me, so does “Indiana Gone,” and I can’t turn back now, I can’t give up, seriously Sophia I’m this close.

We’re talking six days, and there you have it, set life, yeah, I couldn’t say that with a straight face if I think this book is every going anywhere besides some long lost file right? It’s already so late, and you know tomorrow will be another long one which means getting up early, sad that waking up to my day job is how I am always Staying In The Black.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 139 ~Because Books Become Beguiling…~

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Write, Wow, Win, I feel a new rule coming on at some point but shouldn’t ever word now be going to those 50,000 that I owe… well not really anybody, just like these lessons that I’m apparently not learning, as Because Books Become Beguiling

Friday, November 17, 2017

Lesson 139 ~Because Books Become Beguiling…~

Hey Lady Sophia,
No Fear because every day I doubt all the more truly I could ever write such a title and yet the dream remains, forever the dream, how many words am I supposed to have written for “NaNoWriMo” by today and with my current schedule as is *sigh*.

It doesn’t take much to write excuses does it or even talk to you, no I’m not trying to be mean though I’m sure a girl here or there would call me as such. Here I am trying to write a 50,000-word novel and I can’t even reply to a few simple text and I actually fell asleep today, the “5-hour Energy” is still working, I didn’t take it before because… Yeah, fill in the blank with whatever you want when it comes to that, talking about my warped creativity.

What do I find inspires me lately… I already fell off the wagon as of late but I have been finding my anger fuels me quite a bit, I feel, my day job knows all about my “epic” rants and that’s been awhile too. As for my current reading list, “Shiver” by Ella Frank and Brooke Blaine, and I don’t mean this as a criticism but it is honestly the gayest thing I ever read, Gay Dark Erotica, of course, I didn’t know that when I first picked up the title, read between the lines or read the fine print why don’t I. Talk about beguiling because in my life there have been perhaps three books I just couldn’t finish.

Maybe I’m just stubborn when it comes to this one and if only I could be as stubborn when it comes to my own writing, because charming, beguiling, debonair, what have you is not what I have been doing lately. It’s been about banging my head against a wall or more to the point… oh yeah, I have to be somewhat diplomatic talking to you, probably the only real practice I have been getting with my writing lately just saying.

I will never say that any book disturbs to be burned, people sure but ideas, even bad ones show us something, even if we are the worst off for it if they come rushed, and unlike some words said, writing means… isn’t that a question, what does writing mean. Perhaps people will never know because my words belong somewhere else but others in the end maybe “Because Books Become Beguiling…”

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 132 ~A Few More Keys~

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Twenty-six letters in the alphabet and I have to make fifty thousand words or more, sounds horrifying when you look at it that way, like some monster I can’t escape because I still have to choose the right key, over and over. “A Few More Keys” really

Friday, November 10, 2017

Lesson 132 ~A Few More Keys~

Hey Lady Sophia,
No Fear, other than I can’t get out of is so what’s the key to being a good writer and while this is somewhat simplistic advice, for once I can give you an answer. Write, now isn’t that what they all say and how about comparing yourself to others, sad to admit that the idea that someone is worse seems to get me through these days now.

That and “5-hour Energy” which is how I managed to get anything done at all yesterday but as I told you before, it’s “NaNoWriMo” and I’m proud to say that I’m actually participating to a certain degree. I’m going to need every trick in my repertoire to get this done and at the moment that means the placebo effect. It’s keeping me buzzed as we speak, I should probably be writing a review for “Powerade” too but honestly, I don’t need to add any more to my plate right now.

So right now my current story is “The Keys of Life” but that’s a working title, and Grammarly already nailed me on dreaded plagiarism, so I’ll have to see where, and of course shelling out more money. I was thinking something along the lines of “Wool” meets “Mad Max” probably with some “Sucker Punch” thrown in as well and of course, it will be erotica or whatever I hope erotic to be. Is it sad that I’m already throwing in characters like this will be a movie, or maybe that’s just par for the course these days helping me visualize?

I can’t even give you a synopsis because I can’t see where I’m going, I’m just taking it one key at a time, one step at a time, and aren’t I always saying that time is always against me. Even today I have to write a review for “Ruthless King” by Meghan March, well I don’t have to but I want to kill more time writing about somebody else really.

I wonder if God ever felt this way, maybe he got bored playing The Sims, wanting everything to be perfect and so he just chose to step back and give himself eternity. I don’t have that luxury, think outside, off the TV and Youtube, even the depression if I can and get right back to writing but Lady Sophia it’s *sigh* A Few More Keys.

I Will Have No Fear