Log 113 ~Can’t Hurry Love Will~

I’m still looking at the man in the mirror and seeing how anxiety has warped me to several degrees; I can only imagine the smile I could wear on my face, like when I saw my friend in love and happy. Can’t Hurry Love Will

Tuesday, October 22, 2019

Log 113 ~Can’t Hurry Love Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that’s not enough love? Now I don’t want to be my father. I’ve said before; love is not a prize. It’s not a timestamp. Love doesn’t come with a price tag. It scares me; sometimes, I don’t know how to love you enough. You’re scared that I don’t love myself. I have my rules 4 & 5 talking about hate keeping you alive. The next, love is worth dying for, which I understand. You know my past, for want, lack, ability love has nearly ended me plenty. I’m still standing.

Brandy sang almost doesn’t count, the song goes. I’m always in music, aren’t I? Funny, I can hear everything, and yet when you say it, baby girl? My “former” boss would say, in one ear and out the other. It’s a disease this thing called love, and I know how dangerous it can be; that’s from a song and movie. I should focus more on myself, though. You know, to me, that sounds selfish. I say it often though, I share it with you, and I’m also pretty shallow. Should I apologize, shall I compare thee to a summer’s day, should I share more. All of the above is why it took me so long to find you. Twenty seconds of insane courage is nothing. I’m still bragging about the 1500 miles I traveled for a friend. In a drawer, I have bills for hundreds, if not thousands of dollars for my Firstborn. Now didn’t I say, love is not a price tag baby doll?

No, love is those moments I head out the door, and I call to him. Not “I love you” or “make good decisions.” I’m like the Terminator “I’ll Be Back,” and I spend every waking moment focused on doing that only. Again and I can’t say it enough, every Saturday I lie here with you for a few hours, and listen to the world end. My nuclear pop music, some TWD gaming, Youtube reactions; you are my Heaven. So what about the other six days: I build the life I love, but I want to share it with you always. I might have spoken to you about my “former” job when I stood up for myself nearly “fighting.” I loved myself regardless of anyone else.

Love’s distance; the bed to mirror; Can’t Hurry Love Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 110 ~Nice Day For Will~

Is it sad that lying in bed and going to my friend’s wedding sound equally appealing but 750+ miles, like the movie Only The Strong one way or another I’m getting in that car and driving another three miles? Nice Day For Will

Saturday, October 19, 2019

Log 110 ~Nice Day For Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and it’s a nice day for a white wedding. Well, how Indiana Gone tells it, more for a Hawaiian dress. She’s Lilo, and she found her Stitch. In honor of today, I want to keep things positive. Talk about the impossible right, sore foot, forgot my chain, spilled food in bed, no condoms, and so on.

I’m still worried about the house’s many flips from my father. Norton is getting on my nerves. My son is in the hands of strangers, getting his heart meds. What about the drive back, that’s no fun, not at all.

Even now, Lady Lu, I’m getting ready to drive over to the venue. Yes, I’m a control freak, and I have to make sure I can make it there and back. We’re talking three miles when I drove over 750 in one day. What about leaving all my stuff here, but I don’t trust any damn body (LANGUAGE). Did I offend The Bride last night, between my foot, forgetfulness, and fatigue? At least I won’t have to worry about dinner tonight, but I’ve barely kept anything down. I’m all for Subway and helping my fellow man, but I still threw away half a sub. So is that it, am I done complaining? I only want to get it all out before I head into this wedding this afternoon. I should smile my fucked-up smile (LANGUAGE). I did text M. Anime back and got myself ready to go. Lady Lu with today well, This Is It.

Funny, I think of Michael Jackson; I owe The Bride a dance. The weather is nice, and again with my foot, it doesn’t hurt so much. The bed here is comfy, and I did get a bit of breakfast. Now that was something I didn’t dare to do at the Courtyard by Marriott. I should feel like I’m ready to take on the world, well 750 miles of it, right. Even talking to you right now because I’m sure I’ll be entirely out of it by tonight. No drinking and driving Lady Lu; besides I drank with Indiana Gone once, one glass of wine, and I’m a lightweight. Later that night and that morning I was praying at the Porcelain Altar. Okay, I’m going to have fun today, I’m going to be SHUDDERS Happy. You should add “Merge” to my lists of dirty words, Luna.

Today, Nice Day For Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 103 ~Will’s Super Toy Run~

What’s the game plan, but even now I only want to sleep; what is it about sex and horror as the song goes that wakes me up and at the same time exhausted me unless you have unlimited access aka money. Will’s Super Toy Run, or not?

Saturday, October 12, 2019

Log 103 ~Will’s Super Toy Run~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so you figure I’d be happier. After getting the car fixed Thursday, I had that brief inkling of being a successful adult. I said sometime this week that money turns me on. Of course, beautiful women as well. Is there anything sexier than good men that can handle their business? The only time I bother to look at myself in the mirror. Hell Lady Lu, I would trade my face for the wallet of dude that does Naughty Midwest Girls. How about whoever does hentai games like Hentai Key, Virgin Roster, and one I can’t thunder.

The only thing that should be loud today is my fingers hitting keys. Don’t I wish, but there will be crinkling dollars and dropped coins. I’m headed into the home stretch trying to be a good man and a terrific friend. Doesn’t that mean stop wanting to offer MILF Dos money and stop looking for models for now? Nope another found me only yesterday, but I’m not putting up another ad on Craigslist for a while. It was like entering a contest; “There’s a thousand pretty women waitin’ out there,” as Elvis sang. I’m not that old Lady Luna. I am old enough to remember Nickelodeon’s Super Toy Run. Was that once a year maybe but Supermarket Sweep was on the daily. Honestly, though, what do I need today to get where I’m going soon?

  1. Red Dress Shirt, Black Pants, A Pair Of Shoes
  2. Portable Battery
  3. Supplies For My Firstborn
  4. Groceries For The Week or Weak
  5. Something I Might Want To Get Laid In hmm
  6. Wedding Gift For Friend
  7. Holder For My Smartphone

You know how I am with my list, but this one I can’t ignore? I should have said that an hour or so ago all the alarms I ignored. Sunday to Friday, making money, and wouldn’t my book be a fix-it button. Right now, I’m like Hey Arnold in that episode, “The List.” How badly do I want to show off my age today? There was a time the Toy Run would be the best day ever, or when I thought $200.00 would make me a king. Again when I’m not admiring model agents, guys who have young women shoot porn, or brothel owners, I’m only a man. I wish I could buy a bunch of stuff to play with; someone, Will’s Super Toy Run.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 096 ~Alpha, Omega And Will~

The week before it was the Day Job, last week I needed to be a CEO, and this week, well with every Saturday it’s therapy with a bit of dream interpretation; beware hot brunettes, a new Asian girl, sex in general ha. “Alpha, Omega, And Will”

Saturday, October 5, 2019

Log 096 ~Alpha, Omega And Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and for once, I wasn’t dreaming for more. How am I ever supposed to stay motivated if I keep speaking like this, Lady Lu? I write the truth, and even Dennis Hof said, people, don’t change. Now I wonder is that what my dream was about last night. Now the Walking Dead starts tomorrow among other things. You remember Alpha don’t you but more so Lydia (Cassady McClincy). Here I am, with my weakness for a hot young brunette as always.

Once upon a time, it was Asian women. Now, this is more of a story for “Dirty Diana.” When I decided to “Come Up and Try My New Parts,” it was thanks to Victoria’s Secret catalogs. Still, it was something so “exotic about Asian women. My first real crush was Tina Nguyen (Tram-Anh Tran) from Ghostwriter. Sex and writing were tied up from an early age. When the Internet was born, one of my first searches was Princess Ayeka naked. Hell, that’s how I discovered Hentai. Now I’m a grown-ass man (LANGUAGE), and I’m still into Zone-Tan, the Hentai Key Girl, and Back Alley Hooker. Somehow I thought I moved on when I got “deep” ha into brunettes. Let me say again I believe all dreams contain messages, meanings, and the very best moans. So last night, it was an erotic smorgasbord of Asian women. I wake up this morning to discover Lydia has some Asian lineage inside her too.

Before I make a specific dick joke (LANGUAGE…), why is any of this important? You know I study dreams trying to prevent disaster. I talked about the new book I was reading that says you must live in Day-Tight Compartments. It also tells one to acknowledge the worst that can happen; you can move forward. My problem is I see the worse of others always. I then do things and think, oh fuck (LANGUAGE), for the tiniest “crimes.” Lady Luna it’s one reason I feel grimy. It’s my dirty dreams about Lydia, ravishing many hentai girls, and of course Maitland Ward. How about sexual Pinterest names for Olivia Holt? There was one particular redhead I had a board for, and I got so frightened I changed the name. Oh yeah, and locked it down too.

The beginning of life might be the end, meaning sex. Dreaming Alpha, Omega, And Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 089 ~Who’s The Boss Will~

Last week it was the idea of speaking at the Day Job, now I have to talk as the CEO of Second Circle Creations and as an author but as the song goes “Who gon’ pray for me?” Who’s The Boss Will, well I hate my managers, time to live the Dream Job

Saturday, September 28, 2019

Log 089 ~Who’s The Boss Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now, and I’ll be changing that come Sunday. One more thing in my pressing matters that I talked about yesterday. From being a slave to the Day Job. To stealing the plans for the Death Star, (my cash is in a Death Star). Then I am a friend to “Indiana Gone.” What about my Firstborn; now he is going to be pissed. All of that and now I have this moment. Well, minus the girl and getting up on time. Today though I don’t have time to lounge around for two hours.

Who’s the boss, well I did mention my Firstborn? He needed water, of course, so I stopped and got a bottle for myself. I cleaned his bathroom pad. In less than an hour he’ll be chomping at the bit for his walk. Parenthood but my child is the boss, and he knows of course. Okay in speaking of my dog what about the Basic Bitch (LANGUAGE)? I still hate to admit that I quit talking to you for so many years, Lady Luna. One girl calls me skeevy and here we are heading into the third year; what is the point? Hell, Porn has a point though I don’t have time for that right now either. Is it women or my penis that’s making the calls for me right now. I should say emails or texts, and there’s still time. Did I feel this way meeting Indiana Gone at first?

The Man In The Mirror is usually my Sunday gig. You know who I want to meet now though, The CEO of Second Circle Creations. He’s the man that writes the stories, picks the girls, directs the films, and God knows what else. Hell, I am not a man for prayer, but I could use some. I know plenty might say that about the men I look to as heroes. Lady Lu I’m not even getting that far right now, this is only a modeling job. Something I’m putting a lot of stake in and Tom Bilyeu would say the fear is right. It proves I care. Still a few parts of me wants to be the man that could win by words alone. Didn’t I say third year? I wish I could be like Katie O’Shaughnessy on YouTube. Now if I could do something beautiful and positive. My life, lust, Who’s The Boss Will?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 082 ~Will Sell Those F-Bombs~

If I had to speak at the “Day Job” on the daily, it would be nothing more than obscenities; strangely enough, one job makes me want to drop those bombs, and another is only a colorful word. “Will Sell Those F-Bombs”

Saturday, September 21, 2019

Log 082 ~Will Sell Those F-Bombs~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but I’m not exactly the best salesman on Earth. Yes, I’ve read a bit more of Dennis Hof’s book, my second reading. Now he was far from perfect, but he loved to? Anyway, I’m still trying to keep my mind off that particular F. The thing is my life revolves around three. FEAR, FAILURE, and FEMALES, the order changing depending on my mood. So how is that mood right now; I wish I could practice another F, forgetfulness to be honest.

Let’s focus on FAILURE, and how so, it hasn’t even been twenty-four hours. Hell again with my motivations but shouldn’t I focus on gratitude. I’m grateful that I had the money to buy that file uploader. How about having the courage to forge down this path? It’s a mixed bag this, fake it till you make it approach. Of course, all the motivations say that you have to believe first and foremost. While I’m going off on phrasing, what about spending money to make it Lady Lu? In the book Think And Grow Rich or The Secret talked about you can’t control every thought but if you feel happy? Money and Friendship, I care for “Indiana Gone” but her wedding SIGH. I’m not experiencing the Fear but the expense of it all, being a man.

Rule 102 and 001, a man shouldn’t be afraid all of the time. FEAR is my constant and what gets me moving along. How much stuff did I have to get rid of only so I could add that upload form? What about the Craigslist Ad or even Facebook, afraid to be me and why?

Like Marcus put it “Bitches man” (LANGUAGE). Must I be so crass, I tell Cherry about language, there’s a time for it of course. Anyway, contrary to popular belief, I respect FEMALES. Nobody asks why I do what I do ever. I’ve said it before I’ve written for guys for their girls. The internet knows enrichment with porn. I’m not even going down that road at the moment, but yes, I like to add beauty to the world. Some like guns, some cars, and we all love a bit of money don’t we Lady Lu. Bullets, Booze, Bullion, and Babes, pick your poison. Like Nicolas Cage in Lord of War, I have to empty the plane and be a necessary evil. Will Sell Those F-Bombs.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 075 ~How Many Wills Later~

As the song goes Gotta Have The Money if you want to get the honey and that I have, well until October perhaps or the next pretty face; still makes me feel like a schoolboy but what’s my age again? “How Many Wills Later”

Saturday, September 14, 2019

Log 075 ~How Many Wills Later~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now, and it’s been one week since “The Day.” Well, that’s having faith that I will survive the rest of this day (Friday the 13th). Indiana Gone got me close to a machete for Christmas last year. Anyway, time to focus on one more revolution around the sun. Two weeks in and how close am I to that million? $10.00 down from this week and last. Still there’s life in me, haven’t even checked how long I’ve gone without Fapping. Oh and porn, only educational, or ripping off ExCoGi’s model pages right?

With all the writing I do, I’ve never written a will. I’m not suicidal but if there was a button to end it all right now? Yeah, I would press it by accident. I’ve announced I’m going to die over the years. There have been some attempts, but if I died today who would get all my stuff? Hell, how much am I offering models these days? Lady Lu that’s what nobody understands, that rush, adrenaline, motivation. Sex is one thing but when I got MILF Dos to take off her clothes. You know having that sort of power, I want more. It’s not like I’m going into photography anytime soon. How many times in one week have I told you about my studies? When I was back in school I never hungered for knowledge most days. History was my subject, and some science but they never teach you the fun stuff. The wrong word?

The things that make you proud that get you to say, I want to do that one day. I might not have the patience, which explains today. Once a week on Craigslist, posting would be $260.00. I paid more for my first model. Should math be my subject now? I hated that above all others. Didn’t stop me from wasting about an hour again, working on a model page. How many days has it been since I talked to Outskirts Press? As the song goes, “Cause I just wanna look good for you.” My novel and funny how they were barking until they got my money and now radio silence. Publishers along with the rest of the world since “The Day.” One more reason I call it that, the end of my existence Lady Lu. When anybody cares again I ask How Many Wills Later.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 071 ~When Will Got Lit~

When you’re running for your life, drinking falls to the wayside, though I was high for obvious reasons in school; nothing has got me going more than love and where is the rehab to that? When Will Got Lit, Edward Cullen, a girl is my brand of heroin.

Tuesday, September 10, 2019

Log 071 ~When Will Got Lit~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Millionaire right now, and still not much of a drinker. Yes, I am a rich man, “Yubby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum.” Can’t say I’ve ever seen Fiddler On The Roof all the way. Speaking of my weirdness, why do we own a wine cellar again and wow a vineyard? I’m a little Drunk On You; okay, I’ll stop, but my point is you want to know what lights me up? Of course, you’ve always known. One morning I’m getting up and about to fall back asleep and bam, like thunder, lightning.

Things I love more than pop culture references? My firstborn, of course, but he would wait forever. Our other children but I’m not one for weekend sports. I suppose I get it, why so many fans drink. If they do play a game though I hope it’s track. Anyway, again, the concept is I want them to be passionate about something in life. I got a refresher of that today. I remember when email was all the rage? So I’m falling asleep, and I get this message, and it reminds me of you. Now all I need do is look behind me, but the last thing on my mind would be working. The idea is I thought of those times I would get your messages. When my first book started selling, and I sat there like Forrest Gump watching the numbers. We don’t have to worry about money no more.

I was high when I first started my business which was more than writing. You know that quote from Marilyn Monroe about making a girl laugh? I might sound like a greedy so and so, but I get mesmerized by bullion. The green of dollars puts a smile on my face. Do you want to place a bigger smile on my face? It was living my dream. For years it was the same, sitting at the beach typing up a storm, watching you and the children play. You’re the only thing that can pull me away from my work. Lastly, it was the day that we became one. On that day, when you said, “I do,” love is a hell of a drug baby girl. I sound like a zombie focused on my phone or your body, my beautiful wife. My motivations today said stay hungry but looking at you, that’s When Will Got Lit.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 068 ~I Will This Year~

Here I am as the song goes, one more year and if you asked my honest opinion on whether I’m better or worse, well unlike our president I can freely admit that I messed up but next time? “I Will This Year.”

Saturday, September 7, 2019

Log 068 ~I Will This Year~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now or here’s hoping as right now it’s Friday. Last week I spoke about being on the stock exchange. If anything now is the time to take stock of my life. Hell on the previous “DAY” I sat in front of my TV eating expensive McDonald’s. I didn’t want to go out.

Today, “Friday” I took five hundred dollars and went to a strip club. I still have that same five hundred dollars. Don’t look at me like that Lady Lu. I did cut the grass, and I still have to clean the whole house tonight. I also picked up spaghetti sauce and more McDonald’s. The best “DAY” I had was years ago, feeling up “Okay” and then taking “Indiana Gone” to the movies. What this DAY will bring, I don’t want to know. I said before it’s like being back in high school bad grades and all. There was nothing to celebrate. For the most part, I’ve hidden it well. Damn my bank, Facebook, and even Team USA. So I’m not doing anything? I could go to the movies or out for Chinese. I could order a steak and baked potato. For once I could pay for porn. Like buying my first Fleshlight all over again.

Of course I should be in Reno. I told you all this before; my Red Dawn Purge Fantasy. So what’s my age again as the song goes? Better question, how will this new year be any different. Last year I said I would be sitting on a million. I could be looking at it right now. The only thing is, it’s on white paper instead of green. Alice wanted $200 for doing absolutely nothing, would serve me right. I spend $14.00 not to FAP. Years ago I paid $300 to do so in style, three sleeves, a case, and three tubes of lube. As I was listening to my motivations while cutting the grass again, they say Find Your Purpose. It’s been a year, and I still know what it is and the secret of life. It’s the least I can do to share such things with you.

Seek Out A Kingdom Worthy Of Your Soul

The Adult Entertainment Industry

Don’t make promises that you can’t keep. For now, all I know is I want to survive today and tomorrow. JSS, I Will This Year.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 064 ~So What’s Poppin’ Will~

Snap, Crackle, and Pop, I’m not one for Rice Krispies, though I do like the treats, I’m one for quiet unless I’m working on something I love and no I hate my current day job but one day life will be Poppin’. So What’s Poppin’ Will

Tuesday, September 3, 2019

Log 064 ~So What’s Poppin’ Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but way back then it was popcorn. Strange that when I went to the movies alone, I never bought it a whole lot. Sometimes I got it for “free” with all my Regal movie points. “THEY,” say that the movies are never a good first date option. You want to know a person, look at how they react to specific films. Is that why I’m talking to you today, Tuesday is our usual. Well, surprise though I don’t mainly take to them. Unless you were talking about a surprise party or new addition, four legs, two?

I don’t pop up for most horror movies. If you want to know what scares me; what pops up in my selections. You might be the second woman in my life that hasn’t run away. Of course, you could deal with Star Wars, Young Adult adaptations, zombies. Then there’s the business and my love for B movies some Sci-Fi. I have two words for you; um nevermind. What about what you find on the bookshelf? Yeah, I had to build a library for us. I will always remain that father who reads to his kids. Again though the business, how I started out writing. If my hands aren’t on the keys or the pen, then what about my snacking habits. I’m like Morgan from TWD and FTWD; I don’t die. You know I eat healthy like Braves Peanuts. Still, I have lived off popcorn at home and sour gummies. There’s the occasional chocolate when my firstborn is with his siblings.

From pops, you might not like to mine. Fireworks for example and I don’t know why. Even before my firstborn; July 4th while respected is not a favorite. Any other night I want to look at the stars with you. I’ll look for aliens but you the fireworks for V For Vendetta. Of course, I’m a Pop Culture “enthusiast” but Are You The One on MTV, please. Reality TV short of wrestling. Yeah, remind me to record them. Now Game of Thrones and The Handmaid’s Tale, wow. Perhaps this will be another surprising moment. I want to go to the coast, but I can’t swim. Other than a hot shower or bath, water is not for me. Still, even at my age everything I am snap, crackles and pops for you, So What’s Poppin’ Will.

I Will Have No Fear