Lesson 076 ~How Are You Lost~

I wonder which is bigger, the world or my own head, if anything at least the world comes with maps and there are plenty of places to run but why the hell am I running anyway. How Are You Lost, the heart knows its direction, breath too, and Will?

Friday, September 15, 2017

Lesson 076 ~How Are You Lost~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear, and no sense of direction though everything else knows exactly the way to go, perhaps I should rethink this whole no fear scenario if anything it’s good exercise. You know that when I was back in school, I liked to run, learned to run actually but there was a freedom in it, and somewhere along the way I discovered a fine line between running to something and running away from something and I crossed it.

“We’re not built to kill. We don’t have claws fangs or armor. Vets, they came back with PTSD, that didn’t happen because we’re comfortable with killing. We’re not. We can’t be. We feel. We’re connected. You know, I’ve interviewed over 825 people who’ve done terrible things. I’ve only met one evil person. Some of them were born with bad brains. Some of them got sick along the way. The rest were just damaged people. Traumatized themselves like you, but they could heal. Some more, some less, but they can. We all can. I know it. It’s all a circle and everything gets a return.” Eastman – Here’s Not Here, TWD

To think fifteen days ago I figured I knew exactly where I was going and now well… I’m slogging through, I honestly should be doing better than this but at least I’m moving forward and what else is a guy should be doing? At work today I felt that old fear creep up inside of me, you know the one I’ve been running from, some things you just can’t outrun, you just have to take it step by step. On the other hand, I talk about being dominant and a dominant doesn’t move for anybody, no he stands, a submissive must move according to his will and that is power.

“Compromise where you can. Where you can’t, don’t. Even if everyone is telling you that something wrong is something right. Even if the whole world is telling you to move, it is your duty to plant yourself like a tree, look them in the eye, and say, ‘No, *you* move’.” Sharon, Captain America: Civil War (2016)

Now I don’t fancy myself a philosopher Lady Lu but there I was just standing there at work and you know what I realized, the heart moves forward, you breathe in but you must breathe out, we are not born with eyes in the backs of our heads, and other parts of the anatomy point the way forward. So today’s lesson, how am I lost, I’m thinking about going one way because it’s faster, another way because I want to face my fears but you know what the correct answer is, I should go wherever I please. It’s okay to be lost but it’s not okay to let fear or some proof of courage direct your feet ever, live brave.

“I don’t think that a person should run unless he’s being chased.

Being chased. I like that.” The Faculty (1998)

Not even a submissive does that, a Sub may fear to disappoint her Dom but she moves because she chooses to of her own accord. Have you noticed that I’m getting braver with these references or maybe it’s because I know that nobody is coming by to check, not yet?
What have I learned today, maybe I’m not so much lost as I am adjusting my path, even if that just means choosing a direction and of course forward is good, How Are You Lost?

“The pessimist looks down and loses his head. The optimist looks up and loses his footing. The realist looks forward and adjusts his path accordingly.” King Ezekiel, The Walking Dead

I Will Have No Fear

Rut On Earth

Every day is exactly the same as the song goes but that isn’t always a bad thing, especially when you’re living with anxiety, you know just how much energy you’re going to need, you can put one foot in front of the other “Rut On Earth”

The sun can only dig so far
while the other stars play big wigs
Having so many promises to renege
upon they say what they are,
job creators, they are those kings, czars
giving me this full-time gig
asking me why I never studied trig.
How bizarre

that it doesn’t hurt
I suppose Atlas is used to the abuse
Walking, running, these combat boots
Don’t run in the grass, or play in the dirt
and if you see a pretty girl in a skirt
pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes
though the point is probably moot
Nowadays it’s a concert,

left, right, repeat, but what
if there was a way not to be a slave
to the rhythm to live brave,
nut up or shut up
Only the ground has become a slut
for punishment and how depraved
is it for me to dig my own grave
one day and a time, a rut?

Copyright © 2017, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.