Tag: Marquis de Joker

Lesson 265 ~The Keyword Is Working~

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Turn her or in this case them, into literature; I’m always writing about the ladies or to the ladies, and my latest story is headed in that direction too but is that what it takes to get me to write? The Keyword Is Working, writing, doing.

Friday, March 23, 2018

Lesson 265 ~The Keyword Is Working~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I Am Not Fine Today is something I can’t say at my day job of course but speaking of things I can’t utter or do at one position, how about talking about my career as a budding writer; yeah I’m still in the dirt. My next story is going to be plenty dirty as well, not that I have anything to worry about like people seeing it but consider this a business lunch Lady Sophia, another one of those six impossible things.

What I mean is I’m thinking about the story I’m going to write for Camp NaNoWriMo in April, hell I made it in November, and that’s another novel I should be thinking about come this year but one step at a time. Why do I feel the need to put myself in all of my stories and if I’m going to be in a story how about some nonfiction, besides this, “March For Our Lives” is tomorrow and I could take part but the best thing I got going is a trip to Starbucks. I’m still pining away for a love story that starts in a coffeehouse but who wants to say they met someone in a strip club honestly.

Anyway, onto the facts, the current idea running through my head is about a hitman who makes his targets sin, so he has a valid excuse to kill them; oh, and should I mention his victims are female. Don’t ask me where the idea came from though it does bring to mind a song here or there “T.N.T” from AC/DC, “Move Bitch” from Ludacris feat. I-20, Mystikal, and “Butcher Pete” from Roy Brown. Don’t worry I’m not going to spoil it for you Lady Sophia or myself for that matter. One because I’m not sure where I’m going with it yet and two I feel I have spoiled myself enough, avoiding Pacific Rim: Uprising and Unsane spoilers but diving headfirst into The Walking Dead, what was I thinking my Lady.

As far as ladies for my current project; I feel like Ethan Cole from “The Director” by Lily White. So ladies, Fiona Belli from “Haunting Ground” and Ashley Graham “Resident Evil,” Haley Pullos, Claire Abbott, along with Christina Lucci (Model), I might add some more. I know I do not sound original, being honest… at least I didn’t say zombies but now when I think about it; no I’m working seriously The Keyword Is Working.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 260 ~Bring On The Trades~

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How much is it all worth, how much are you, maybe I should get a price tag tattoo, so people will stop thinking of me as one colossal clearance, no a crown wears more than any mask I believe. Bring On The Trades, because I might be ready to carry it.

Sunday, March 18, 2018

Lesson 260 ~Bring On The Trades~

To Will:
I Am Not Fine Today, well that’s different from my usual I Am Not Afraid Anymore so why not trade a lie for the truth; because the truth will set you free but that doesn’t mean this nonfiction is free, not even here. Our conversations are perhaps the only place where I can say these words, “this is life,” “another day,” “this sucks,” “Is there anywhere else,” and much more; the world wants you to be a bargain, don’t be, you hear me?

“You Won’t Be Anyone’s Bargain,” that will be going in the rulebook or whatever you choose to call it one day. You sell yourself too cheap, and yes this is your fault because you just want to be taken and you’re just too much, too “EXTRA” as the kids say these days. It also takes more muscles to frown, than to smile but you can bear that load, and maybe you will trade it in but why do people insist on stealing; your general manager just wants to take everything, just like your father, just like everyone. You know why that is; because a crown weighs more than a mask; is that yet another rule? Speaking of trades you must make, what about those six impossible things, anything you feel like trading for once today:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 01 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 08 No Fap)
2. I Will Work On The Submissive’s Closet But Buy Nothing (Budget?)
Partial Completion, No New Clothes But Overbudget (Tomb Raider on Friday)
3. I Will Post Two Reviews On My Blog
Failed
4. I Will Spend No More Than Eight Hours In Bed
Failed
5. I Will Spend No More Than Eight Hours On My Laptop
Failed
6. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
Failed

When will you trade failure for success but already you’re doing, yes do you will, as though you could ever be as wise as Master Yoda, or as Ben Franklin said early to bed, and to rise; at least you have that rise part down at the moment. It was 4:25 AM when we started talking which isn’t a big deal considering how often you sell your soul for $10.40 an hour; why not sell your tears for sweat and make every drop of blood worth a damn. How can you, that’s what you’re asking yourself when you can’t even do these six impossible things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 08 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Finish Reading “Galahad Suns”
4. I Will Get Ready For Camp NaNoWriMo
5. I Will Finish My Tomb Raider Review
6. I Will Stay Gainfully Employed

It’s just so damn hard you know, keeping those two cents in your pocket and then be asked a penny for your thoughts when they are worth a dollar; yeah the music helps thank you RayBLK and The Band Perry. Trade But Don’t Betray Yourself, the last rule for today which sounds a bit like don’t sell out, but didn’t I say everyone has a price, somewhere don’t you think.

Just think about it like you’re writing your book, you take people and trade one name for another, why can’t you do the same Will, so Bring On The Trades.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 258 ~Writing My Pink Slip~

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You won’t ever eat it all; you know how they say to “eat your words,” at this point I’m better off choking on them, all of them in fact before I honestly do become a starving artist with no day job but I thought this was America. “Write My Pink Slip”

Friday, March 16, 2018

Lesson 258 ~Writing My Pink Slip~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore though I probably should be, there is a reason I’m a novelist and not a comedian, singer, or politician; in writing there’s fiction, with somebody like Trump it becomes fake news. Right, I haven’t been fired yet but didn’t I find myself in the same spot just last month; the story is always about the Second Amendment and how I should live by the Fifth, but no I practice the First enough.

To you Lady Sophia I can say practically anything, but my shame lies in the fact that I’m always hiding and then when honestly I should be, let’s say at work, I have to open my mouth and this will probably be the end of me. It wouldn’t be the first time I died on stage and didn’t I once talk about the death of a comedian. Unfortunately, I’m still the joke to the rest of the world, and that’s if I’m lucky. When it comes to others, I am but one word, “NO,” just say no right, and I do, to think when I was a child I wanted to be a comedian only we know the answer, no.

Songwriting though because trust me you do not want me singing was reawakened just last night thanks to my little boy and “Indiana Gone,” and strangely enough I cracked myself up, Indiana Gone is always laughing, so that doesn’t count. Not an original tune mind you, Lionel Richie’s “Hello,” who is original nowadays… the lyrics though are about the dog and his need for food. Making money songwriting isn’t exactly going to pay the bills, don’t I still owe my grandfather $100 for having some faith in me; speaking of which I’m not looking to become a preacher man either.

So that leaves becoming a novelist, and Indiana Gone ran the guilt trip on me last night but if it doesn’t work for the family and my boss acts like a baby with hurt feelings; that’s my job, why should I buy it from a friend? Here I am trying to get to the movies tonight too and no promises but I may just work on my story, I mean what else am I going to do with myself today.

Imagine if my book was sort of like Fifty Shades of Grey, walk into my day job and guess what I may just be able to do something like that, honestly Write My Pink Slip.

I Will Have No Fear

Hello (You Won’t Ever Eat It All)

I think it’s just around
Your breakfast time
Or maybe lunch, a bag of chips
Some fries in mind
And dinner there’s a pizza
At the door

Hello!
You won’t ever eat it all
I can see it on your plate
And you’ve made a big mistake
Cause I’m not getting any
While my mouth is open wide
So you know just what to do
Why you got so much damn food
But I want to tell you, Daddy
I love you

Scooby’s gone and taken all her treats
But tell “Okay” it helps if she
Would just feed me
And when I can’t eat one more little bite

Hello!
Does that come supersized
There’s so much to go around
With all the breasts and thighs
You could give a leg or two,
And dog food just won’t do
Tell me how I have to beg
She’s lonely, so let her stay
If all this food is for me, I love you

Hello!
You won’t ever eat it all
There’s so much to go around
With all the breasts and thighs
You could give a leg or two
And dog food just won’t do
Tell me how I have to beg
She’s lonely, so let her stay
If all this food is for me, I love you

Lesson 253 ~Nooks, Crannies, And Holes~

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Sometimes I want to hide it all away, when I didn’t have a laptop or smartphone, I was at least forced to go out, and now I’m finding more impressive ways to hide, I swear we are almost to the that Mark of The Beast stage. Nooks, Crannies, And Holes.

Sunday, March 11, 2018

Lesson 253 ~Nooks, Crannies, And Holes~

To Will:
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, just Bipolar, full of energy and mildly disappointed at the same time; if anything the boost is from not having to go into the store today; Walmart Grocery Pick-Up and Amazon, how to fight Anxiety 101. The disappointment stems from my last plan of WWWT… What Would Wifey Think, seeing as how I have failed yet again to keep it in my pants but for now let’s take stock of six impossible things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 06 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Failed (Day 01 No Fap)
2. I Will Gift Part Of My Submissive’s Closet
Completed (Not That She Would Try It On Here) Bought Replacements From Amazon
3. I Will Post Two Reviews On My Blog
Partial Completion, Only One Put Up
4. I Will Not Take Any Static At Work
Failed, If I Don’t Know If I Took Static, I Took Static
5. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
Completed
6. I Will Find Something I Want Out Of My Life Honestly
Completed, Sadly I Want To Sex You Up

Now I’m not going to sound like Trump and refuse to accept the problem, and there are just some things that I can’t tell you not to do such as stay off the Internet, that is frankly impossible, isn’t it. What about swearing off porn, how did it happen last night, from Pinterest to looking up high heel girls, to Kristina Rose in Pornstar Punishment (I should get with the times) and then there was that outfit that Niquee wore. Speaking of which how about spending more money on things that are not going to happen, namely those same outfits.

If anything sex, strangely enough, is the one thing that’s clear, your mind Will is nothing but a jumbled mess, but in this one aspect of your life you are up and about, straight ahead, hardcore, and let’s try not to sound like Negan anymore. So you know what’s always not on the list, and avoiding it altogether can’t be done, channeling it has been hit and miss, and imagination of a future lover is a failure. You also have to keep in my “Camp NaNoWriMo” is coming up in April; you will be participating in that but what the Hell are you going to write about, more goals, here are your six impossible things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 01 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Work On The Submissive’s Closet But Buy Nothing (Budget?)
3. I Will Post Two Reviews On My Blog
4. I Will Spend No More Than Eight Hours In Bed
5. I Will Spend No More Than Eight Hours On My Laptop
6. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves

I don’t care what it warrants, but you have to find a life outside of this, today was somewhat Sim-like, should I get back into gaming, of course, “Okay” thinks you should, after all, I did put games on your wishlist. You shouldn’t even be considering a wishlist until these six impossible things are possible, we are all failures in that regard, but maybe you will be the exception, the one that gets it done.

Nooks, crannies, and holes, Will if you want “nooks,” think about that “Black Room” you want to create, choose any “cranny” that doesn’t involve your little head and as far as holes, listen, speak, for god sakes eat. With all your decisions ask WWWT and maybe, just maybe you can think about getting into some well, Nooks, Crannies, And Holes.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 251 ~Sign Of A Gentleman~

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Flowers, Candy, Sweet Nothings, sometimes you should just shut up and show what you got; words can be as dirty as anything, and my name is mud. Also, there are other ways to make dirty money. Sign Of A Gentleman but nobody liked him either.

Friday, March 9, 2018

Lesson 251 ~Sign Of A Gentleman~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore for I am as notorious as Rumpelstiltskin; what I mean is how many people know my name, how often do I brag, what evils, deeds, and deals have I conjured to end up with nothing? What’s in a name, I’m sure somewhere in the land of 0s and 1s I have value but whatever happened to this man’s word I ask you?

The sign of a gentleman is his good name, and I lost that long ago and replaced it with, well take your pick, I’m sure Amazon sees me as nothing more than those same 0s and 1s or repeating the same mistakes. I still believe that I am a man of my word; if I promise, I deliver, but maybe it’s not my name as much as I should worry about the others; you wouldn’t sign a pact with the Devil, would you? Don’t answer that because if it meant a payout for once in my life, I would and what’s my soul worth anyway?

Probably about as much as my name because I have a hard enough time finding the value in either, sort of the difference between forty-five and fifty bucks, food or fun but yeah I’m never growing up right? It’s not that I’m without merit, restocking the submissive closet is one thing, but I did buy food. The dog is well taken care of, I even bought some books but then again my erotica reading group has to be mostly girls and “Cherry” *sigh* I might have mentioned a sweet English tart to one of you girls a while back, seems she wrote a poetry book.

What about my “great” novel, maybe I’m not in a rush to put my name on anything, take my wealth, my sanity, anything but my name but again isn’t that already gone? I use to think that if I couldn’t have fame, I could deal with infamy but lately, I just wish I could start my story all over again, my life story that is.

You know how often I quote that conversation from The Walking Dead “Here’s Not Here” and I will do so again but a gentleman, a man, in general, is not just his name, or his actions. He is so much more and as I write out my story, my work as both man and monster I feel the need to find a better part of me, Sign Of A Gentleman.

“What we’ve done, we’ve done.
We evade it by moving forward with a code to never do it again.
To make up for it.
To still accept what we were.
To accept everyone.
To protect everyone.
And in doing that, protect yourself.
To create peace.” Here’s Not Here, Episode 06×04

“There’s a saying — the pessimist looks down and hits his head.
The optimist looks up and loses his footing.
The realist looks forward and adjusts his path accordingly.” The Well, The Walking Dead 07×02

I Will Have No Fear

Preparation H, Hello Hostage Hotel

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From Prisoner to Hostage, and in both I would say the word you’re looking for is obsession or Stockholm, either way, Hostage will hold you and refuse to let go for a while, and by then you won’t want freedom. “Preparation H, Hello Hostage Hotel”

Preparation H, Hello Hostage Hotel

“You don’t really know somebody if you don’t know their name, right”
Skye Warren, Hostage

I can’t tell you exactly when I began reading Skye Warren… Annika Martin too but I’ve got plenty I’ve seen from Skye Warren’s solo novels, and she has become a name synonymous with kickass reads. Hostage is yet another in a long list of winners, and I should probably start looking up Annika Martin’s novels as well because when you put these two women together.

Speaking of which it looks like Abby is going to get some company; a swing and a missed opportunity by this dynamic duo but I’ll give it five stars anyway, but I think Abby and Brooke might have been something to see. Also, are you telling me you haven’t read “Prisoner” (Criminals & Captives #1), if you have welcome aboard, and if you haven’t… you don’t necessarily have to, but I highly recommend it just because it’s as impressive as Hostage. In any case, you’ll probably see what’s coming regardless, but I’m already wondering will there be a book three; I read this with my erotica reading group, but I would have bought it regardless.

So long story short, Hostage begins near the start of Prisoner and then carries on from where that book ended, and no I don’t want to say conclusion there are several paths left I feel. While Prisoner was a story of the youngest of the crew, Grayson, and his love Abby, Hostage is about the oldest of the squad Stone Keaton and his passion Brooke Carson; stop me if you heard this one, rough criminal, and the golden virgin princess. I mean that family going broke, in high school for most of the story, with a famous name and of course Stone is just flushed with cash, criminal and all.

Common themes but I can say that about the entire genre as well, and these two writers know how to work it into something brand new, once, twice, I want to see more of the crew. I was a bit surprised at the ending myself which is strange, but you can always tell where these stories are going and still you stick along for the ride; you can’t help it.

“It’s like catching fucking sunlight in a jar. I don’t want to let her go.”
Skye Warren, Annika Martin, Hostage

Maybe that’s one of the things I like best, as I once heard in a commercial “between love and madness lies Obsession” and that’s what it was like for both Stone and Brooke; enough that Brooke’s age is a teasing point until she turned eighteen. There was the idea of how much grief Stone gave Grayson when he found love and now that Stone has; well that escalated quickly between him and his crew, the men he calls brothers, but let’s focus on the lovers.

Sadly, there’s nothing new to either of them but names and the circumstances of the situation, Stone Keaton, another victim of the rich who fought his way free and is now looking for revenge not just on one but an entire lot of tormentors. You also have to give him the noble goal of wanting to rescue kids and eventually Brooke, though he took his time with her, nothing but slow seductive time since this is a bit of two books in one and her age. Let me just say for the record it always ends up like this, take away the money and the noble pursuit, and being a guy that has read so many stories from this genre, pull any of this in the real world fellas and no happy endings for you.

Brooke Carson, of course, is in her gilded cage, whether it be from a mother’s expectations, imagine Rose in Titanic just younger and prettier or the criminal that just so happens to have millions of dollars that gets her knocky in the knees and elsewhere. Honestly, you can’t say that her life changed much and that might seem a bit short-sighted but one cage to another, from being a tool of her parents to belonging to Stone, and the world is still the world with just a few less horrible people. The only thing Brooke had to do was choose, and that was a bit of newness since most of the stories I’ve read from Skye Warren the heroine merely is taken but again age, instead of sex he almost murders her the first time.

There was less death, seeing how Prisoners ended; maybe it’s a sign of the times. I won’t give that away, though if you want a taste; Samurai Champloo (Artistic Anarchy) “Tsutchie – Sincerely.” At least that’s how I felt if they made this book into a movie I think. As for the other characters, wealthy parents, mother worried about her reputation, standard rich people, and of course Stone’s crew, bad boys galore and how many times can I say this, money.

“There should be some smooth and nice things left in this world.”
Annika Martin, Hostage

I’m not trying to make it sound dull seeing as how I’m giving it five stars, and that’s almost all nearly storytelling, and you can leave it at that because, spoiler alert. Did the book have flaws, other than things I wish happened; this is novel writing at its best, and there was plenty to like besides the things continually resting in my depraved imagination?

For example, this is the first book I might have seen honestly use the term “fake news,” and that’s just the tip of the iceberg as it plays to today’s lexicon. Anybody who reads this might think the author has something against the rich unless they are undoubtedly hard-working or playing a bit of Robin Hood. I’m not saying that Stone and his crew didn’t deserve every last dime they had after everything that they all endured together. There’s even a bit of Brooke’s weight involved, not being allowed to eat then Stone letting her scarf down a burger and cutting her overly tight fancy dress, or the fact that she didn’t want the discovery of her naked form after.

Brooke’s first time, that scene held a bit of everything, the difference between making love and anyway, though the phone sex was a bit dirtier and raunchier, and the authors made her a uniformed schoolgirl to boot, my weakness. Again I wish something could have taken place between Abby and Brooke; you have close quarters, mostly men and two beautiful women, there are days I tell you that these stories are better than porn visual porn. The ending, I was picturing something else, to be honest not that this ending wasn’t great itself, but sometimes you’re expecting fire and brimstone, but a slow trudge to Hell also works I guess.

Nate’s life is one thing, but it would be amazing to keep following Brooke and Stone and don’t I sound like Detective Emilio Rivera now, talk about an obsession with this story and these two authors. So I hope you are ready if you pick up this title because you’ll be on your backside for a while, hours on end, Preparation H, Hello Hostage Hotel.

Lesson 246 ~Eyes On The Prize~

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I wish I could say I have something dare I dream almost spiritual to fight for but yeah I’m a man I want a life, dignity, respect, but then again I will settle for so little and then what do you call love “Eyes On The Prize.”

Sunday, March 4, 2018

Lesson 246 ~Eyes On The Prize~

“We’ve got a vision.”
“Eyes on the prize, man. Eyes on the prize.” Road Worrier

To Will:
I Am Not Afraid Anymore; if anything you’re your worse enemy so why should it bother you what anyone else says, I’m the nightmare am I right? Maybe it’s the girl we’ve been thinking about because dreams have been few and far between but this one day girl has kept me and hopefully you out of trouble again.

The things we do for the women we don’t know but seriously, how could I have been so blind, what men will do for women, though for the record I wish I wasn’t so damn respectful to those bitches at work. Of course, you won’t say that this week, you’ll say plenty but how much will you live up to, you honestly must start thinking about your goals in life, which is why you’re up again after the mandatory window shopping isn’t that right? The world is full of beauty, and that is slowly driving you mad or madder but still it’s the things we don’t see; at this rate, you’re matching the Christians believing in something like the six impossible things each week like:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 02 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Failed (Day 06 No Fap)
2. I Will Find My Latest Amazon Order
Completed
3. I Will Get My Bank Account Fixed Up Finally
Completed
4. I Will Not Take Any Guff At Work
Failed
5. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
Partial Completion (Do So Much Better)
6. I Will Work On My NaNoWriMo Novel, Finish Two Whole Chapters
Failed

Didn’t they used to say that with too much “Fapping” you’d go blind, is that the concept that is allowing me to see so clearly now; a good theory because you experience more of the beauty but God how you want to. Lust is the one thing you’ll always be sure of without a doubt because you’re already breaking certain promises to yourself but the girl you’ll someday marry will have expectations and as the song goes “practice what you preach.” Speaking of music, here we go again, those six impossible things, and if you could just do one a day, not so hard right:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 06 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Gift Part Of My Submissive’s Closet
3. I Will Post Two Reviews On My Blog
4. I Will Not Take Any Static At Work
5. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
6. I Will Find Something I Want Out Of My Life Honestly

Isn’t that what these things should be about anyway; if anything we always stare at what we need, and then we give into temptation; more and more Christian-like but I don’t have a chance at Heaven. Another theory why we’re always sleeping, because when you’re asleep the monsters can’t get you, and with no dreams or nightmares it’s the only time I’m not letting myself down, and I don’t have to worry what anybody thinks.

“Don’t close your eyes, don’t close your eyes,
This is your life”
Switchfoot – This Is Your Life

You see it now my friend, you’re a man of words, and I ask that you be a man of action, which would indeed be something impossible and will take longer than a week but that’s a prize. Being a man that can stand on his own two feet, he’s straight ahead in the mirror, so you keep your Eyes On The Prize.

“I see. I see pride! I see power! I see a bad-ass mother who don’t take no crap off of nobody!” – Junior Bevill, Cool Runnings

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 244 ~How “Write” You Are~

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A man of my word, a man of few words, but if I had to choose one word, it would be hope, but that’s not going to be enough as Carl Grimes once said, I’m going to need words galore, promises, punishments, posts. How “Write” You Are

Friday, March 2, 2018

Lesson 244 ~How “Write” You Are~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, and I would like to think I’m a man of my word, indeed a man of words, only how often must I admit that words fail me? Then again I talked about having an epiphany the other day, living my life as though my submissive, my wife, the future mother of my children is watching me and for some reason, those words mean a bit more honestly.

Love is exhausting, to say the least, and I can only imagine it will get worse when I have someone; it’s weird how words on paper provoke a different reaction than words that we write on our hearts. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t “love” my job, and as that bastard general manager made clear, there is no contract saying I have to stay with the company, fair enough. Only I gave my word to; I guess myself, to go in when I’m supposed to, I do my best… most of the time, and while my father never taught me the value of a man’s word now, the concept carried weight and didn’t I say I hate lies, without purpose?

“I can’t learn anything from you, I can’t read in some fuckin’ book. Unless you want to talk about you, who you are. Then I’m fascinated. I’m in. But you don’t want to do that do you sport?” Sean/Robin Williams ― Good Will Hunting (1997)

I tell you and the others, Lady Sophia, that I’m going to write every day and here we are two hundred and forty-four lessons in, sometimes two a day just because I’m busy on a particular day. How about my novel though, I think I signed a contract for NaNoWriMo, and I did it in November, but then again I signed an agreement to start editing and January, February just flew by didn’t they? What about love though, what about dignity, do you know how hard it is; better a conversation with Dirty Diana but I lift my feet up when I walk, I talked more at my day job, and when the porn mood strikes… I looked up the girl, downloaded the video of the picture (thank you Pinterest) and haven’t watched it since.

Hell, that must mean I’m already expecting to chalk up another failure but not today; I think I’m starting to see why some sign contracts in blood. Could it be that I have just been using the wrong medium all this time or I need someone to keep tabs on me; back to my hypocrisy, I have my word, but I don’t trust myself sadly.

Why do you think I write out all my secrets here, including my humiliations, my sadism, right down to the days I just FAP… maybe because seeing it, speaking, remembering will one day help me to keep my word I hope, How “Write” You Are.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 239 ~Save Room For My~

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As the song goes, that’s too much sauce, but I’ll probably be eating a box of chicken all this week, speaking of chicken, the work day is going to be horrible, but there is too much room in my bank account. “Save Room For My”

Sunday, February 25, 2018

Lesson 239 ~Save Room For My~

To Will:
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, this week, high hopes, the bigger they are… just trying to explain why I’m in bed again because I can’t afford to be banging my head on a table, my fists through a wall, and talk about open mouth, insert foot. Is there anything as too much good as well, The Walking Dead returns tonight, you’ll record the Winter Olympic Closing Ceremonies, what about The Elimination Chamber, and you’ll need more closet space with all the submissive shopping.

Is my glass half empty or half full, sometimes you’re just going to want to break the damn glass because the good and the bad are just a mess considerably? There is plenty of room in your bed, too much room in your bank account and even this morning I know you’re already stressing about the coming work week. How about the six impossible things, I’m sorry I let you down a lot this week, but maybe it’s not so bad as it appears hmm:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants, (Day 01 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Failed (Day 02 No Fap)
2. I Will Get Out Of The House
Partial Completion (Store)
3. I Will Get My Bank Account Fixed Up
Partial Completion, I know what I have to spend this week
4. I Will Do Something Nice For Indiana Gone’s Move
Partial Completion, last movie night
5. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
Completed, two full days of backyard fun and cake
6. I Will Work On My NaNoWriMo Novel, Finish One Whole Chapter
Partial Completion, Grammarly is a letdown somewhat

Always looking after my dog, still doing for everyone else that there is no room for me, that’s what you will have to contend with this week and since I didn’t work last week… money can be such a hypocrite, too much room in my account and yet it’s getting tight. I would tell you to keep your head up, but even when you’re down you don’t let a single tear fall because that would be too much when you’re in a room of sharks, no drops, tears, blood, otherwise, and yes that is going to become a rule. Speaking of one more list I almost want to call this, a what won’t you do list but six impossible things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 02 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Find My Latest Amazon Order
3. I Will Get My Bank Account Fixed Up Finally
4. I Will Not Take Any Guff At Work
5. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
6. I Will Work On My NaNoWriMo Novel, Finish Two Whole Chapters

One day you’ll have plenty of room on this list for other things, and maybe Amazon is trying to tell you something. Since I ordered something last week, and it should have been here today, so now it’s your problem. I always leave you with issues don’t I but didn’t I say once, difficulties are for tomorrow, even Dr. King saw the promised land, but from the top of the mountain, he didn’t see everyone waiting for him coming down.

As the song goes I hope you’re “staying hungry” so if anything, save room for the fight, but also for the good things too and *sigh* Save Room For My…

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 237 ~What’s In A Name~

WillLeave a comment

Well, it’s not ambrosia, it’s not a squirming bundle of love, it’s not even an actual breath, but it can be a dream, it can be a prayer to the porcelain god, the pushing of buttons rather than slamming of fists, sigh new characters. What’s In A Name?

Friday, February 23, 2018

Lesson 237 ~What’s In A Name~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore or at least less afraid… let’s go with that because even if you know your friends, your enemies, your family, somebody that you used to know doesn’t erase the fear of everything else you want to give a name to honestly. If Romeo and Juliet lived, if the Hatfields & McCoys could have stopped sooner, if Republicans and Democrats weren’t idiots, how long would it take, this thing that some call peace?

What’s in a name, what does the name “Hazel Fiona Brenton” mean to you? How about “Hanna Mallorie Farone,” “Deo Nikola Kesten,” “Maya Myriam Klose,” “Kellie Isabel Klose,” and yes there will be blood, but you don’t know any of these people. As far as I know, they don’t exist in the real world but within my mind do you know who I see, prostitute, the victim, brothel owner, prostitute, and a great sin, these names have history and meaning in my novel. To this day I still hate the idea of a picture being worse a thousand words, but I suppose the “inspirations” for these characters would hate me, for using their visage storywise.

We’ve also talked about my name before, and I’m still not letting it go which is, of course, my fault; being synonymous with “skeevy,” I can understand why other authors use pseudonyms all the time, and that gave me an idea. I’m no hero and considering people’s false assumptions about me I am nowhere near the villain, but maybe I need a new name. Don’t get me wrong I’m sticking with Marquis de Joker for the time being but perhaps some heroes, some villains wear a mask, and I am no stranger to that truthfully.

On a brighter note at least I’m working on my book right, I’ve been trying to summon up the anger, summon up the blood, instead of another bodily fluid, and that explains why I’m up pretty early because I want to be and not because I have to be. I’m not censoring that bitch’s name because I’m afraid, no I don’t want to give her the satisfaction of being a source of energy these days.

If I were to title my anger something, call my lust anything, name my shame, Will; you can never let them take your name. That’s for damn sure because that’s your life, well, ill, that’s your inch, and that’s my answer, What’s In A Name?

I Will Have No Fear