Tag: Fear

Log 257 ~Will To Be Obscene~

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I do stay up way past my bedtime though, like my furry son, I am much too old to make things so simple anymore, but when my head hits the pillow, there are no ifs, and or buts, now about living… I’m Not Sleepy Will

Saturday, March 14, 2020

Log 257 ~Will To Be Obscene~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and as always, how do I make my money. Somebody has already made a “certain” parody of the Game Of Thrones. The only reason I’m awake now is “Sophie Turner’s Stumped” Quibi. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again “adult entertainment” gets me moving like nothing else. Lady Lu, I had so many plans for this afternoon (Thursday). Of course, you know that worked killed me, almost. The old saying, what doesn’t kill you and whatnot. I’m still alive.

Sometimes that’s all you can say, I’m still alive, as the song goes. I know I didn’t make much sense yesterday, so I have to ask why. If it’s for that gasp, a giggle, those groans, well, you know why I rather not be, am I right? We are living in the plague era, and yet the flesh does not bother me. Indeed, this afternoon I went and bought fast food, one more reason I was out like a light. I should be racing off to the movies, but I had to come and talk to you. You’re not a curse Lady Lu but my blessing. When I woke up, the first thing I felt, after THAT, was inspired to write. She’s Good To Come Back, a looming chapter perhaps for my novella? Only now I’m beginning to lose it, didn’t I say this would be a HARD week anyway.

I’m not giving in to the stress, or will I sing, touch me in the morning? Doesn’t help I’m still listening to Dark Notes. I didn’t even get to read any of The Gargoyle today; I could have but exhaustion. I didn’t make it to the Den, I’m on my made bed, but I passed out. The things that ten more minutes of work can do to you and why did I stay that extra time. I’m not the man I want to be Lady Lu. At the moment, that man is Emeric Marceaux with his Ivory Westbrook. I’m not Dennis Hof, capable of running a cathouse. Even now, I’m not the man who talked a hot mom out of her clothes. All-day it was that if a man can’t take care of his family, what right does he have to one. Lady Lu, I would still be in hiding.

Only this life now when I Will To Be Obscene?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 256 ~Incorrigible Wills, Insatiable Infatuations~

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Well, today, I wanted to sound intelligent; I should try that at work or better yet saying anything at all. Only all I have is three and four-letter words and not the nice kind, so I’m looking for grander. Incorrigible Wills, Insatiable Infatuations.

Friday, March 13, 2020

Log 256 ~Incorrigible Wills, Insatiable Infatuations~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I can afford a massive dictionary and thesaurus. So ask me why I’m using such big words for other than listening to Dark Notes. How about reading The Gargoyle when I’m not falling asleep? Don’t take that as a criticism of Andrew Davidson’s Masterpiece. As the song goes, “work sucks, I know;” I’m exhausted, and the book tumbled down to my chest. To think I can go to sleep with this HUMMING. I saw some power company out and about today, but they didn’t fix whatever it is, my madness.

Like the stories, I’ve been paying attention to these many days. Of course, we could talk about my obsession with alliteration. Nope, to quote another song, “sex and horror are the new Gods.” Lady Sophia, you know that’s what I’m all about in life. On the FEAR front, do you want facts or fiction? If we choose fiction, let’s go with The Walking Dead. I told Indiana Gone I’m discombobulated and why? There is Eugene’s love life, The Battle For Hilltop, Judith’s first human kill. Fact is, here and now, everyone is talking about Coronavirus (COVID-19). Yes, I am still quite entertained, which I shouldn’t be right? Lady Sophia, this is my bread and butter; all my favorite stories are the end of the world. It depends in some instances if we talk about a single life knowing alteration forever.

“It is an awesome feeling to know you are about to change someone’s life forever.” ― Tomorrow, When the War Began (2010)

“whoever saves one life, save the world entire.”

“Lust is to the other passions what the nervous fluid is to life; it supports them all, lends strength to them all ambition, cruelty, avarice, revenge, are all founded on lust.” ― Marquis de Sade

Being a writer, isn’t that what I want to do somehow? I’m writing, or should I say not writing my story, which now needs a new name, but Cherry will still be front and center. Not like I am going to work on it tonight, why bother lying. Speaking of lying, I’m still not with my new infatuation. Where do I even begin; with Math? How about Wish giving me all sorts of ideas. Between the rain, reading Siren, and trying to drink more water. No wonder swimsuits keep popping up. More stuff for the submissive or dang it buying a submissive. I keep going with more books. As I said, I’m into Dark Notes, and in The Gargoyle, remember the Narrator lost some of his “parts.” So much stress. And I am barely hanging on with everything Lady Sophia.

The pain in my life is always labeled, To Be Continued. I’m trying to write out Incorrigible Wills, Insatiable Infatuations.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 255 ~Will Trips In Eden~

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Having played Detroit: Become Human once upon a time, if the Eden Club becomes a real place, then society is doomed. So it was with the first Eden right, and there are plenty of sins available. “Will Trips In Eden.”

Thursday, March 12, 2020

Log 255 ~Will Trips In Eden~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so that means I own several brothels. If I weren’t listening to Pam Godwin’s novel Dark Notes, I would be listening to Dennis Hof. Third time’s the charm, and I’m still looking for my first Threesome. Anyway, today let us look at four alternative Bordellos.

Books, of course, is where my story begins. I keep telling myself, write a bestseller, make a million bucks. I haven’t looked at my novella in over a week, though. To think Bridgman was in the middle of getting a tit job from the lovely, well, you know who. It’s not like I can send that bit of prose out. What about GULP, though. Hell today (Tuesday), I was getting reacquainted with Cherry. Not blaming her, I wouldn’t be writing or editing anyway. Again I’ve read The Gargoyle and was imagining a few different tits, Marianne, Rainey, Cherry, Ivory. Does my “Father” have a point that I read too much?

Babes, or to be more specific, TTB. I am trying not to sound like Matthew McConaughey from Dazed and Confused. Starting a modeling agency though, well once I’m well established. One here and one European. If you ever wanted me to study the metric system, this is the way. I still remember when I found the “treasure trove” on Motherless. I was so scared when I discovered Little Lupe, Dolly Little, Dakota Skye, the Monroe sisters. Cue the Homer Drool.

Bollocks ha, speaking of the Metric System, do you remember my Red Dawn Fantasy. Two girls, redheads, The Purge, fight to the death, my Necro Leanings. Yeah, I’m still talking to Alice Little, but Ruby Rae bowed out SIGH. Anyway, there has been a resurgence around a forgotten fetish “Love/Sex Dolls.” The Bedroom Soapbox was all about Real Dolls, and now I’ve seen Piper Dolls, Earth Erotic, the list continues.

Why not go all out, Sex Robots, Detroit: Become Human with the Eden Club, a North and Kara threesome. I should also stop watching Nier: Automata. Damn you, Studio Fow, for “First Assembly” so awesome.

Banking on making my mark on the world, so I stop adding to my “Spank Bank.” Dirty Diana, I have been all over the place. From DollyDicker to Subscribe Star Adult, and did I mention speaking to Alice a little.

Dirty Diana, I’ll keep walking, always trying to make bucks until Will Trips In Eden.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 254 ~Now That’s Will Silence~

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It’s quiet, too quiet or I’m going deaf in one way or another, I swear the things we learn to live with and why should we, I don’t like raising my voice I know that when there’s such great music and books. Now That’s Will Silence.

Wednesday, March 11, 2020

Log 254 ~Now That’s Will Silence~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but shouldn’t silence come free. Yes, Inspector Echo, the humming continues, and I’m back to the drawing board as to the cause. Well, unless I would like to scream as I fall off the roof. Knowing me, though, I would never only we’ll get to that. At least on Sunday, I heard something quite beautiful. Eugene and his “ladylove” Stephanie singing. I have a few in my life though, one’s married, another is asexual, and shall we talk about the one I’ve wanted to see naked.

Keep it PG, well I am trying Inspector Echo. If we have to talk about something in my pants, what about the money I saved today? I know I was craving McDonald’s as always, but I only bought what I needed from the store today (Monday). While this might sound mundane and give way to gross thoughts, I bought stuff to unclog the toilet. I still need to buy a new toilet seat for downstairs, but nobody is complaining. Of course, then we have my Old Man. I finally told him the other car isn’t working, won’t even start now. Not that I was using it, but yeah, I’m losing it, and nevertheless, that’s a blow. You know I’m a hoarder of everything, but when did I become a car guy? Still, I must be silent, I wasn’t paying for the car, so it’s his.

I can’t give him any more of my problems like Norton and H&R Block. You tell me not to worry, and perhaps it’s been a week of nothing. No warnings, no alerts, no fear, but if I’m not obsessing over that, what else is there? Cherry, I haven’t spoken to her in a couple of days. I didn’t tell her to shut up. But don’t I know how to drive a girl away. At least it broke me out of my pantyhose/stockings/thigh high fetish for now. I’ll confess, Fechikano isn’t going away anytime soon. Still, I go back and forth when it comes to what a girl says. I’ve talked about audiobooks and how I enjoyed listening to the character of Rainey Summer Day. One word, “Daddy.” I finished “Lust” today, but Chasity Griffin shudders. Finally, there’s my new fetish, let’s say, the girls don’t talk much, not at all.

Sorry about that Inspector Echo so, Now That’ Will Silence.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 251 ~A Question Of Willies~

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When am I going to start back writing, when will I get rid of this “dang” humming? How long can I hold out this time, and will I ever read a book with an average guy with no issues, like my six impossible things. A Question Of Willies.

Sunday, March 08, 2020

Log 251 ~A Question Of Willies~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but you keep buying your books, BBQ, and sexual investments. We’ll keep it “PG” as much as possible today. Also note to self, being a southern man and all, I should know not all BBQ places are equal. Today’s was yuck. Now seeing today is (Friday) this subject would be perfect but of course, time-traveler. So I noticed a pattern this morning about you and recent books.

  1. The Gargoyle by Andrew Davidson (Loses His Accidental)
  2. The Five by Lily White (Can’t Control His)
  3. Lust by Ker Dukey (Hates His)

“What!” I hear you scream and then “Ouch,” finally, you cross your legs. Okay do you need context, we have the PORNOGRAPHER, who burns his off in a car accident. A DOCTOR who has to keep his hands off his subject. SPOILER ALERT, he dies in the end. Lastly, we have a college boy who has to film the girl he loves, having sex. I’ve always had this dream that I want a girl I love so much that I don’t want to film her; okay, instead won’t share what I shoot. It’s not Thursday, and don’t get me started on the drama I dealt with for what I said. Anyway, the question is, as usual, what is the matter with you? Yeah, you haven’t done anything yet, but if you follow in my footsteps? We steady on as always. Dealing with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 008 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Making The Bed Every Morning No Matter What
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Writing My Latest Novella
    Failed

Back to one, and just because you’re making the bed doesn’t mean you aren’t still sleeping. I haven’t mentioned the HUMMING in a day or so, but it’s still there. That’s something, while you’re contemplating the mysteries of “manhood.” You can’t keep running from this; you have to do something, one of many problems. Is it any wonder you are into audiobooks? You know what, that’s a theory, men who have lost their manhood for one reason or another. One man can love, but he can’t express it in such physical ways. Another loses control and can’t satisfy his girl. The third can please his girls but not himself until much later. As the song goes, I Can’t Get No Satisfaction, which would explain plenty of things. Well, what about not doing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Making The Bed Every Morning No Matter What
  6. I AM Finishing Writing My Latest Novella

What about thinking with another part of my anatomy? Another similarity, these men faced death, all A Question Of Willies.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 250 ~I’m Not Sleepy Will~

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I do stay up way past my bedtime though, like my furry son, I am much too old to make things so simple anymore, but when my head hits the pillow, there are no ifs, and or buts, now about living… I’m Not Sleepy Will

Saturday, March 7, 2020

Log 250 ~I’m Not Sleepy Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and for One Shining Moment, I fought back sleeping. A small victory, but I’ll take it. Call it being horny, feeding on hate, or as Faith would say Hubris. Yeah, Lady Lu, I still miss playing Far Cry 5, and I’m a bit scared to pick it up again. Story of my life right, as I told Indiana Gone, Depression, but can I call it that if I know what it is right off the bat. Picking up a controller is the least of my worries; my feet, my head, my addiction, it’s like I’m toxic.

Everyone running around saying, “don’t touch your face” I know what I’m trying not to touch. Besides that, my pillow, my punches, and my passions. Again why do you think I’m still up? Yeah, I paid $20.00 to keep watching movies, and I don’t regret it, Lady Lu. Now that also goes for picking up Fast Food because I would get conked out in moments. Anger takes a lot out of you, and it’s what I feel most of the time. I’m burning out throughout the workday. Still, when it comes to accomplishing something meaningful. Well, today (Thursday), Cherry told me about one of the lines of my novella. “Some men are baptized in the blood of the battlefield.” I wish I could say I was so deep on some level and out of 7,000 plus words, which looks sad.

To be in such a state of mind Lady Lu. Do I regret any of the words I’ve written out of anger this week? I believe I will know at some point, but as for now, like sleep, I think not. Here’s another thing about sleeping; I would be dreaming at this very moment. My motivations often speak enough about living your dream. The idea is that most days are a nightmare, and that’s where the Depression comes in Lady Lu. I spend my days searching for another universe to lose myself in; today, I finished another one. Not one of mine mind you but The Five by Lily White. Now that book is going to bring “sweet” dreams of the wrong sort as always. It does beat being awake, though, but here I am trying because, as I read once, SIGH, “Hell is repetition.”

But I’m not dead yet, and I’m Not Sleepy Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 249 ~Will And His Writes~

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What’re 1200 words between friends, nothing at all, so I might as well be writing on the wall of a bathroom stall or the tile of my shower, and it’s not like I’m in a rush to read. Will And His Writes

Friday, March 6, 2020

Log 249 ~Will And His Writes~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but not for long if I behave like last night. It wasn’t sweat, blood, and tears; I was spilling. At this point in my life story, I’m too lazy even to write excuses. Once again, I’m worried about NaNoWriMo, but at least I’m not asking questions anymore. Not to “those” people, and I was whining to everybody else last night (Tuesday). A depression bender but more wasted words and how I hate wasting words. Don’t laugh, Lady Sophia, but then again, I go from having too many critics right to zero.

So what words do matter? The last wasn’t a word, but an oval, I voted on Super Tuesday. Well, the only names I knew were those going against President Trump. Nobody wants to hear this, but the country is going to Hell anyway despite everything. Next would be updating my “counter,” you know the one. Yes, I broke down once again, but I was stressed out. Being out in the world, people were ticking me off. Now I could say so many violent words, Lady Sophia. The terms that will get me in trouble, though “Dirty Old Man,” and “Teen Tennis Star.” Then there are the words that I have to be ever so careful in choosing. It beats silence, but again I’m done being a “BETA” reader. Lady Sophia, it’s like NERVE, are you a Watcher or a Player.

Then explain to me why I wasn’t playing last night with anything other than, well, you know. I still need to come up with the next chapter, which will feature my character “Bridgman.” Who’s going to read it though, Indiana Gone, Cherry, ha? What about writing two sections today, yeah I’m not funny, but I’m not working either. I didn’t send money for my “sexy” investment. Cash is usually always burning a hole in my pocket. At the same time, I struggled to write a note to get out of working SHOES. It doesn’t matter, though. Nobody’s taken the shift yet, and do I need someone texting. No more messages from Norton or H&R Block, but somebody is still trying. I can’t get that music out of my ears. Stuff I don’t want to hear or see, my writing, keys pounded on, another few alarms.

I know what I want to do okay, so why not, Will And His Writes.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 248 ~And Will’s Sentence Is~

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I’m not a BETA, better yet I’m not a BETA READER, but for someone who knows disdain for most of my words, there are plenty of people saying, “Hey Listen” like their Navi and I’m Link. “And Will’s Sentence Is,” well, it’s usually smut, but it’s honest

Thursday, March 5, 2020

Log 248 ~And Will’s Sentence Is~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and it starts with writing. Yes, I still intend to make my money much like Dennis Hof. Yet, I want to write a bestseller, and how is that getting along nowadays? I’ve learned that besides great sex, some men only want to be heard. Now that goes for everyone. We want a voice. I ask a lot of women Dirty Diana, sometimes too much, I understand. Words, though, are all I have, and yes, sometimes I take them for granted. I say bad things? Only to be ignored Dirty Diana, silence is a fierce weapon.

Okay, so none of this sounds sexy. Dammit, I’m not playing the ALPHA MALE right now. I won’t be a BETA, though, more to the point a BETA READER. That’s the crux of what’s bothering me these days. I’ve said before I like making women feel good, and do you know why. When women are pleased, so am I. The thing is I’m pleasing women and what am I getting out of it, Dirty Diana. Read my story, she says, praise my poem, tell me I’m pretty and what about me, hmm? My prose, you don’t have to read it, publish your poetry not that I care, be the pervert so I can laugh. I’m a sadist, I enjoy punishments but fuck how I will praise. I refuse to serve out a sentence where that’s all I do, so some girl can tell me where some guy can put his penis. I am so done.

I know that road, Dirty Diana. There was a time I wrote for “gentlemen,” and next thing you know, some girl is losing her panties. The same thing said with my face is a fucking jail sentence. Like I said pervert, and in some cases, yes, I’m skeevy. Even now, I don’t want to sound mean, but why not. It beats begging, didn’t I say that before I’m whining. Dirty Diana, I have no qualms about paying a woman for her body. To possess her mind, though, to know yeah, I’m a dick, but I want to please. Well, rage, rage, dying of the light, and all that which I failed today because I’m so stressed out. The truest sentence, I know, “No, I’m not your Beta-reader, what about me?”

My silence, smut, some shame, what. And Will’s Sentence Is

I Will Have No Fear

Log 247 ~Exit Stage Right Will~

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If you want to imagine the future, well having written a term paper on 1984 and receiving an F I rather not and that sin seems so insignificant to so many other things and yet I steady on, until the Thought Police or worse. Exit Stage Right Will

Wednesday, March 4, 2020

Log 247 ~Exit Stage Right Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and besides that again, I am no politician. Here’s something I’ve learned. If you ever want to know a politician, look at what they fight. They’re against gays, gay lovers, hard on guns, members of the NRA. How about protecting minors, besties with Jeffrey Epstein (shudders). You know I want to protect animals so again I don’t do politics, but yes I do vote. Now, why did I shudder? Well, this morning, I was introduced to a character in Black Mirror, never watching that, not ever.

So I’m listening to Exit Music (For A Film) by Radiohead. Fans of Black Mirror and Romeo & Juliet remember this song I know. Anyway, it got me to thinking Inspector Echo, if you were out there for real. How “messed up would I be for the following actions? Let’s start with something small. I read erotic books. When I’m at work, I started off listening to Dale Carnegie, The Gargoyle, now Beauty and the Professor. I have dirty playlists, and I’m never connecting to my Day Job’s Wi-Fi ever. My mother told me something about that years ago when she “lent” me her password, and she got in trouble. Speaking of good women, I won’t lie, yes I’ve been “into” Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Her dancing and some stupid boys talking about her. The latest controversy has been about Greta Thunberg. Some “pornographic” sticker some energy company made. Do I feel it’s wrong; well I looked it up and what did I see, reread the title, Inspector.

I don’t know a thing about most art. Now whether it’s a sticker or some story SIGH, what about my novella? I was almost begging someone to read my dirty thoughts. That’s humiliating in and of itself for several reasons. I just got my bill today for SubscribeStar, and why? So I can watch UnidentifiedSFM and for the love of everything don’t look that up. Of course, you still remember TTB, Teen Starlet, “Russian” ties. Finally, there’s what I want to do with my life. As much as I talk about needing a new plague, Coronavirus is exciting? I don’t want to hurt people, but someday Inspector Echo with all my sins, coming to light eventually hmm? Dale Carnegie says something interesting. Accept the worst and learn to keep going.

Until the sirens Inspector Echo, but I am so very sorry, Exit Stage Right Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 244 ~Give A Listen Will~

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The first of the month and guess what I’m still listening to, I heard in one of my motivations, the man with no imagination, has no wings, but all my imaginings have gone into writing a novella and Audible. Give A Listen Will

Sunday, March 01, 2020

Log 244 ~Give A Listen Will~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and so are you, do you hear me, do you understand? It’s going to be hard on you, I know. I’ve survived a month of that HUMMING noise. The games I enjoy playing are inaccessible, well, unless you feel like moving the PS4. Now that reminds me of something else you must hear, but let’s get this out of the way. Yes, the old car is still dead. The half-bathroom toilet is broke. You are going to fight tooth and nail at the Day Job because of your continual FEAR. Sleep is going to call on you every second of the day.

Okay first off and listen to me, don’t go wasting your money. It’s there, and tonight (Thursday) I got to hit the books, don’t “MESS” this up for us. I know you want a new Kindle or to buy a ladder so you can break your neck soon. For the love of everything, please don’t. So if I’m going to start begging, here’s something for you to consider, NO FAPPING. Tonight was a test, no doubt, I was busy writing the novella, A Sin Full Of Cherry. I was so ready you have no idea. Well, if you’re reading this, the week was survivable. While we’re on the subject, as much as Audible tried to cheat me out of five bucks. You should invest in more books. I’m here to tell you they help. It’s also a bit naughty to listen to something like Beauty and The Professor. Why can’t you hear, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 008 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Making The Bed Every Morning No Matter What
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Siren by Hazel Grace
    Completed

You got three wins this week; you’re welcome. I’ll be honest with you, though. There was no choice but to change #6. Reading a book a week makes you akin to Bill Gates. He reads one book a week according to your motivations but A Sin Full Of Cherry. While you’re busy finishing that, hasn’t it been a while since you felt such a fire to write? It’s not even NaNoWriMo season, and you’re thinking 19,200 words possibly? Don’t let others take this away from you ever. Lastly, I ask you not to give up. I know it’s hard; I don’t mean it like that, you’re trying to be brave at the Day Job. You have to win like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 008 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Making The Bed Every Morning No Matter What
  6. I AM Finishing Writing My Latest Novella

So much noise, but what’s real or at least brings pleasure, Give A Listen Will.

I Will Have No Fear