Tag: Marquis de Joker

Log 298 ~Will To Be Believed~

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“Trust me,” “believe me,” the people that usually start with that are generally lying, which is why I never ask you to. Most days, I’m like Tidus from Final Fantasy X, only wanting somebody to listen but SIGH. Will To Be Believed.

Friday, April 24, 2020

Log 298 ~Will To Be Believed~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I say that every day but do I believe it? Lady Sophia, I should get back into listening to my Motivations, the Money playlist. How about the Man in the Mirror? The things I’ve been reading and hearing I don’t want to trust but me?

Let’s start with The Eve of a Cherry, which is a work of fiction, of course. Like yesterday I don’t want to believe that I could be that sick. If anything, I don’t want to know this as “my sickness” at all. I want to write, and yet like most of the things I do in life, I want to protect others. M Anime talks about wanting to be law enforcement. Hell, I break so many laws on a day to day basis. I know, I still owe an explanation about my views on the country. Don’t I always say tomorrow? Now that’s something I want to believe in, but where will I be. Writing more words that I might as well call lies. No, again, it’s fiction, but I’m like one of my characters, which is pretty bad. Indiana Gone and Cherry would tell me to believe in myself.

Believe in something right or fall for anything, so yet one more day, I’m in the right place. I haven’t made the bed in days, and that’s because of what happens after our conversations. You want some facts, I’m going to eat and then I’m going to take a nap. If Fiction and Nonfiction have any agreements, it’s in the fact that they both take hard work. Do I call it fiction what I’m telling NaNoWriMo? I did write 50,000 words, only not all in one month. 19,200 last month and then expansion and still it’s like I’m a CHEATER.

One more word I’m starting to hate. Why do you think I have to remember such beauty? Once upon a time, I could tell you the name of the original 150 Pokémon. Now I can tell you the name of so many cosplayers, cute pornstars, and characters that I refer to as, well. It’s not a nice word in the states. Only I know an Australian Mom. I want to believe in women, in writing, and in the world I one day want to build.

Who am I though Lady Sophia; Will To Be Believed.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 297 ~Will’s Pandemic Porn Parodies~

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My entire life is a parody of the life I should be living. Like Sheldon Cooper, I do believe in many universes, and I do enjoy the Big Bang Theory XXX reality. Still, I’m pretty “sick” no not with COVID-19. “Will’s Pandemic Porn Parodies” or not

Thursday, April 23, 2020

Log 297 ~Will’s Pandemic Porn Parodies~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but if I’m going to Hell, it won’t because of GREED. Yes, I’m greedy as all Hell, but I always saw myself as Circle Two material, LUST. That’s where my sickness resides. Now you probably thought this would be all about Coronavirus (COVID-19), of course.

Better to stick with the sickness, I do have Dirty Diana. For example, and I know this isn’t right, but the horror stories women tell and a few men. Now when I talk about men, I do mean S. Wolf and Todd Michael, authors. You know I like far too many female erotic authors. This week I’ve been looking over Pornographic Parodies. Don’t get me wrong here, “Big Bang Theory: A XXX Parody” has its moments, ah Beverly Hills. My point is, though, it’s the REAL stories that turn me on. I’ve told you about Court Carmody. Only what about Eileen Kelly, Angie Varona, Miriam Weeks, aka Belle Knox, or Stormy Daniels. Some others I’m not STUPID enough to mention. I saw this post about a pornstar sometime back who had been hurt. What is wrong with my head, right?

There was a time Dirty Diana I was all about love, and now it’s more tits. It took me a while to talk to you because I was busy trying not to FAP watching Siri’s tits. The pornstar, not the computer voice, hah. Well, it was more listening to her moan and imagining a big pair of mounds in a pink bra. See it’s not only my mind but my body, I wanted to break so bad from last night to this morning, so how did I fight back? Here and now, Dirty Diana, which leads me to my writing.

I’m still not buying The Eve of a Cherry is publishable, pretty damn good, and isn’t more porn than erotic. At this rate, I want to add even more to the story, yeah pleasing penis portions. So today’s Log is brought to you by the letter P, I guess. Anyway, I’m exhausted, and that’s because this sickness is keeping me up, literally. Again I’m not talking about the Coronavirus. What did I say about checking WebMD? My eye is all screwy, and my chest was hurting some still I write.

Yeah, fictional sex scenes and now Cart Girls not beating out Will’s Pandemic Porn Parodies.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 296 ~Prose And Political Willies~

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I should really consider making a pseudonym, I mean I’m not a rich white guy that can say STUPID things or a pretty woman that can say naughty ones. Yet here I am, worried about my “writing” and the fate of the country. “Prose And Political Willies.”

Wednesday, April 22, 2020

Log 296 ~Prose And Political Willies~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means this moment, I would be involved in both. With all the fears I hold upon this Earth, why go about making more, right? Well, of course, with finishing yet one more novel, I need something to worry about. Am I sick, is some girl mad at me, will I be able to sleep tonight? Yes, I still remember, I’m supposed to be worrying about My Dæmon. My words, though, are like my money; when I think I’m beginning to catch up… And It’s Gone.

Has there ever been a day in my life where there was nothing? It’s the very reason I stay in bed come “The Day.” It’s sort of a throwback to being safe and warm before I was introduced to the world. Don’t ask me how that popped up, I should be talking about my novel that no one will ever read. I’m worried that it will be one more story that dies like my Six Impossible Things list every week. I still have until the end of the month for editing, and then what? Will I go back to blaming my Day Job once again?

Hell will I even have a job; reminds me I need to watch the CEO’s message. I know I still owe you an explanation as to why I think this all happened, plague and everything. Last night while I was still basking in the glow of my finished work, I got mad. It was a bid to avoid this morning’s feelings. This country is a screwed up place. Where doctors who are trying to save lives have to now stand against those who couldn’t care less? Ask me why should I be concerned? Other than the stores being empty and the new rules, I was living inside anyway whenever I got the chance. If I was getting sick, why did I make it to the table today? Again it’s a sin to find one problem, project, or penis erecting babe to take my mind off of everything else. You won’t hold it against me to say “penis” after my “PORN.”

How dare I call it erotica? Still, I’m the bad guy while others doom the world. How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, I should start reading again, that helps?

For now, I’m sorry, Inspector Echo; Prose and Political Willies.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 293 ~Thy Will Be Done~

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Go ahead and ask me what I want right now? Eric Thomas said if you’re going to be successful, you have to be willing to give up sleep. Well 1700 words and this conversation, and it’s after midnight. Thy Will Be Done

Sunday, April 19, 2020

Log 293 ~Thy Will Be Done~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and when you are, remember to buy a posher bed, first thing. Please excuse me if I sound a bit incoherent right now. Wouldn’t that mean you’ve heard me coherent? Anyway, you can see what time it is now, and I will do better? Still, my will right, not yours seeing it’s a Friday night/Saturday morning. Now I’m not a Bible guy; it put me to sleep, but I was trying to read each and every book. My point is, when are you going to start calling the shots? If anything, who am I working for, and why am I done tonight.

Well, you have more food, a plethora of snacks to choose from? Tonight I didn’t eat dinner because I was too busy feasting on the word. You’re welcome because, by the time you’re reading this, you should be finishing The Eve of a Cherry. I’m tired because I used up all my adrenaline worrying about My Dæmon. He got one of his nails stuck in his collar. It’s been sigh months since that happened, and I have the money to take care of it. Only the timing is not ideal with the Coronavirus (COVID-19) out and about. Oh, and do yourself a favor, stay off WebMD. Okay, so I mentioned money. I spent most of the day figuring out what I was going to do with the stimulus. In the words of South Park, “And It’s Gone.” Why is living such a chore, I ask? Not doing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Not Receiving Any Warnings From Norton About Security
    Failed
  6. I AM Writing 25,000 Words, Camp NaNoWriMo “The Eve of a Cherry”
    Completed

Look at that I got one. I keep working on that story, but why don’t I stop? As one of my motivations would say, “you’ll be tired of being broke.” Eric Thomas would say you have to get tired of losing. I’m tired of being lazy, and that’s why it has passed midnight. At least it will be easier to get to sleep because I won’t be telling myself the same old video game stories. It’s been Far Cry 5 lately, and my motion sickness is coming back when I tried watching it on YouTube. Finally, I hope you’re as sick of being an addict as I am. I swear I’m not that good of a… see now I’m feeling all motivated; Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Not Receiving Any Warnings From Norton About Security
  6. I AM Writing 25,000 Words, Camp NaNoWriMo “The Eve of a Cherry”

It’s up to you, okay, to make this world your desire, Thy Will Be Done.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 291 ~Will The Adults Stand~

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Well, I’m not standing up for the adults that still read, or at least I didn’t try yesterday. I was much too busy reading my novel and when I could expect my check since I’m not at the Day Job. “Will The Adults Stand” and sit back down

Friday, April 17, 2020

Log 291 ~Will The Adults Stand~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, well at least $1,200 closer. Hell, I’ve gotten out of bed for a lot less, which is pretty sad. I’m right here, doing what I LOVE, and that means being wrapped up in blankets. At this moment, Lady Sophia, I’m planning on how I will waste the day. What’s stopping me right now from getting up and going to work at the dining room table? There’s this old quote I read about standing for something or falling for anything. So it’s in the spirit of that Lady Sophia that I will tell you what I’ll stand for… in a literal sense.

Take last night (It’s Wednesday) right now, but what am I reading? It’s not veterinarian bills; when I heard something fall and I went rushing to my kid. I read his little face every day. Again, right now, I got up and let him outside to pee. Speaking of protection, every morning. I pick up my gun, switch the magazines, and put it back down. I’m still reading up on gun ownership, and even YouTube has taken notice. Owning a weapon isn’t something you can only read and watch, but you have to do. There’s a training center here, and yet I lack the courage to go. I could blame the Coronavirus (COVID-19), but that would be like blaming the Day Job. I did mention I got the stimulus check today (April 15) tax day, of course. Still, I ordered my speedloader from Amazon, and you know I’m not going to Jim ‘N Nick’s after my last two humiliations. I like the fries, though, so…

I need to stand up; otherwise, I’ll lose myself to porn once again. Looking over my notes, it took eleven different things to make me break NO FAP, twelve counting the girl in my novel. The Eve of a Cherry, Lady Sophia that is something I’ll stand for, finishing it. I’m still eating and bathing, taking care of myself the bare minimum, and no, I’m not suicidal. It sucks, but I don’t want to have my ears clogged again for the most part. I might as well enjoy not hearing the humming anymore. To this day, I don’t know the cause or why it stopped. Is there anything else that gets me to stand… boobs?

Politics, Equality, Outage, a new book; Will The Adults Stand.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 290 ~Will’s Paining For Porn~

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The words are calling to me. Unfortunately, they are saying the same thing, and that doesn’t bode well when you are writing a book. Oh, is that what I’m doing until the stimulus check comes and what then. “Will’s Paining For Porn”

Thursday, April 16, 2020

Log 290 ~Will’s Paining For Porn~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and with that kind of money, I never want to feel pin again. Now, of course, I know this is impossible, but where do most of my FEARS come from? I’ve never been hurt sexually, not in any criminal sort of way. I indeed like spankings, don’t ask how I found that out. As the song goes, “scratches all down my back to keep me right on” that’s from Crazy Bitch. So today, I started out with the idea of Hard Limits and maybe next time, but my nature is Sadism. Though I’m still here hurting myself with No Fap.

I’m still writing my The Eve of a Cherry, and how many times have I written the word FUCK? Dirty Diana, I fear the day that word loses all meaning. The thing is, love hurts ME but fucking? I get to do that to someone else, so I pursue it relentlessly. For an added bonus, fucking isn’t killing. While I’m busy repeating that word ad nauseam, along with bitch, slut, whore, cum dumpster, and others.

I call women plenty, but even in my novel, there are words I avoid. So you know, I want to say them, but there’s a line you know. Calling a girl a Fat Bitch, a cow, or even a cunt. The words don’t sit well with me. Sometimes I want to yell them out, they’re sexy but the harm they could inflict? Am I only going to talk about language?

Like the difference between Rape and Ravishment? They can mean the same, but ravishment can be defined by other means in better ways. In The Eve of a Cherry, Bridgman has no problem with blackmail or threats. Harming someone physically, though, well until THE END…

In reality, I’m a dominant, I practice BDSM. Still, before you can go there, you must know SSC Safe Sane Consensual. Also RACK Risk-aware consensual kink. However, I’m not one for leather or whips, chains are good, but I prefer more everyday items. Belts, bras and panties, a few dildos to use on a girl. The pain, though, is more psychological than physical. Thus, in some specific ways more dangerous. That’s why I have to get to know a girl or a character. With no knowledge, there is no risk.

It’s kept me from paying for a lot of porn. No, Will’s Paining For Porn.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 289 ~The Mask Of Willy~

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Last week I talked about fearing to be different and not wanting to hide. All of this would explain not leaving the house and being wrapped up in blankets. At least my kid can see my face until I take a shower and get STUPID. The Mask Of Willy.

Wednesday, April 15, 2020

Log 289 ~The Mask Of Willy~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but is it because I’m doing something positive? Chris Rock said something to the tune of a black man must be positive. In this country, it must be all good works. Of course, white people can create, capitalize, or conquer whatever they want. Excuse me for getting a bit racial. What I’m getting at today is that even if I had everything, I couldn’t imagine smiling. Happiness has become that much of a foreign concept. Besides that, every day, it’s like I’m hiding, and someday it’s all going to come out.

Here I am in a world that wants us to literally wear a mask, but do I? No, I’m too afraid of one more humiliation. I hear about people being accused of being criminals. Indeed, I might get sick, but as long as I’m what? I don’t even know anymore, Inspector Echo. If there’s something I can be sure of, it’s that I’m all sorts of lazy. Right now, I’m all wrapped up in blankets, and I could give you a dozen or so lame excuses. Last night I had a coughing fit and thought I was getting sick. It was only something caught in my throat. Speaking of which, I continue to ask the question of why do I write. Could you imagine me singing like Akon to Cherry or M Anime? I text all the time, “I wanna (love) you, you already know.” Love… that’s a dirty word considering my true motives, so yeah, what’s this about masks.

My writing is a mask because I’m not a rich white guy. I also refuse to be a STUPID black one. Yeah, I heard what I said, and you would be right to call me an “Uncle Tom” like Surgeon General Jerome Adams. At least “The Eve of a Cherry” is fiction, for the most part. Sex makes me feel “decent,” but like any other drug, it becomes consuming. As of this moment, 2 days, 17 hrs., 48 min, 36 secs of NO FAP. Will I make it the week (today is Monday)? Inspector Echo, why don’t you tell me how one is to mask desire? I have rage sure, and Zorro hid behind this persona. I guess like going to the store I won’t wear the mask and the sickness is always there waiting.

I’m sorry, Inspector Echo, for FEAR, The Mask Of Willy.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 286 ~Will Raises A Roar~

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Easter Sunday, though you’ll see, I’m not a participant. However, I am trying to bury my anger. It will probably rise again whenever I decide to go out and see what’s left of the world, but right now, I feel like the Devil. “Will Raises A Roar.”

Sunday, April 12, 2020

Log 286 ~Will Raises A Roar~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and when you are, as the song goes, Heads Will Roll. Now don’t shoot the messenger… with what, gun loading sucks. At the moment Academy sucks, Jim ‘N Nick’s BBQ, Walmart. Don’t take me as ungrateful, I do appreciate the essential workers. One of these days, I’m going to give you the full speech about why I think the Coronavirus (COVID-19) had to happen. Today though, I want to scream at everybody, well not the cashier at Walmart but a bad day.

Let me say that I am the first one that will take the blame. As messed up as I am, I will take the hit, that’s how you know you f*ed up, right. I wasted another day. When I got back, even the food wasn’t enough, and I needed a pink bra and a beautiful set of boobies. It didn’t start out that way, understand. I handled the books, ordered the speed loader. Somehow I even made a semi-decent mask. Of course, I didn’t wear it. What, did I roar, did I scream, did this apocalypse finally come to fruition? No people are people. Besides telling you my mindless ramblings, I didn’t even work on the book today. Okay, that may change, considering today is Friday. Still, what will any of this mean when it comes to, and I hate saying it, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 006 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Not Receiving Any Warnings From Norton About Security
    Failed
  6. I AM Writing 25,000 Words, Camp NaNoWriMo “The Eve of a Cherry”
    Failed

Not to sound like Cameron Tucker. The truth is I hated most of Modern Family but was kept “abreast” about it. I probably shouldn’t say it but Alex Dunphy/Ariel Winter’s boobies. Why do I keep talking about “Divine” boobies, because I had an epiphany? I was wondering why I wasn’t swearing at Jim ‘N Nick’s. I didn’t yell at Academy Sports. You know I was scared about talking about Necrophilia. What about how many times I mentioned my gun like I like the NRA? I don’t, or we don’t. Anyway, my writing is my ROAR. It’s how I curse the sky at whomever or whatever is up there. Even when there’s nothing at all. It’s me spitting on graves or dancing. Of course, it’s how I hurt myself the most with SIGH Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Not Receiving Any Warnings From Norton About Security
  6. I AM Writing 25,000 Words, Camp NaNoWriMo “The Eve of a Cherry”

There’s this country song “If I Die Young” which says it best. For now, while my hands are busy in some disgusting ways. In my throat, Will Raises A Roar.

“A penny for my thoughts, oh no I’ll sell them for a dollar
They’re worth so much more after I’m a goner
And maybe then you’ll hear the words I been singin’
Funny when you’re dead how people start listenin”’ ―If I Die Young

I Will Have No Fear

Log 284 ~Hand It To Will~

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So what of expansion, arsenals, amorous lovers, art of my excuses etc. The novella at this point was 19,000 words but where am I at right now. Is it the eve of the end of the world, still in bed, some story I should be reading. “Hand It To Will”

Friday, April 10, 2020

Log 284 ~Hand It To Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that’s because I keep my hands busy. Now I know I’m still not writing as much as I should. Lady Sophia, there was a time I was heavy into the Young Adult genre. Of course, that changed with Fifty Shades of Grey… 50 Million copies.

Yeah, I’m putting that out there because you know there are people who want to yell like Jay Sherman. It Stinks! Speaking of The Critic, I have added on to The Eve of a Cherry, but like I said, counting up the words that I don’t write. Last night I made it to 100 only to say that I had written something down. I talked about my newest obsession yesterday, and that’s what I was counting up. No more guns yet but plenty of bullets. Don’t get me wrong I’ve been reading up on all the responsibilities of owning a weapon. I’m also still reading Sex Zombies by S. Wolf. We should be so lucky, Lady Sophia, but no, there’s only people getting sick. Is it worse to be ill in body or in mind, I wonder? I feel fine, but it might no longer be the end of the world, not quite yet anyway.

Again I’ve been lost in plenty of pages. It looks like my country is going to get a smidge better or a lot worse now that Bernie Sanders dropped out of the race. You know I’m not one for politics, but I’m not one for people dooming us all either. Between you and me, I want to go back to my story though I was struggling. At least my sex fiends are fiction, but what about the fantasies? It’s things like the state of the world that make me feel as though I’m a great writer. So writing, women, and weapons, and when I’m not working on any of that? Well, I should stop writing about becoming a better father and simply be for My Dæmon. Keeping both of us safe isn’t that what I’m doing, hmm? If I had tentacles, paws, a mace for a hand like Aaron on The Walking Dead. No, I need to count up the excuses and fear to press the right or wrong buttons.

Within these hands, Lady Sophia lies a writer’s strength. The world is yours/mine, Lady Sophia, so Hand It To Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 283 ~Will Of The Dead~

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It’s the face, isn’t it, when I’m writing out the nice guy routine that works extremely well but then what happens? I’ve always figured I would use the zombie apocalypse to date outside my league but alas no “Walkers.” Will of The Dead

Thursday, April 9, 2020

Log 283 ~Will Of The Dead~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so of course, I would make this movie, “Will of the Dead.” Hell, I hunger for brains and flesh too, but of those two, definitely, I’m all for skin. For the record as the song goes, “I, got a fetish for fuckin you witcha skirt on.” Now, Dirty Diana, you have to excuse me for speaking to you at this late hour. It seems I have gained a new fetish of sorts, to quote another song, “Diamonds and Guns, Diamonds and Guns.” Only for me, it’s Boobies and Guns, Boobies and Guns. I’m being serious.

Necrophilia (Noun) ― sexual intercourse with or attraction towards corpses.

Now since I know, I’m not afflicted by that… will we go over my “Red Dawn” fantasy again? Two redheads or any girls at this point come to my place to escape The Purge. We have fun, but I decide I want to watch a Purge, so the two girls fight. What do I do with the loser? Okay, seeing as how I got your attention, I’m still thinking about that Realdoll giveaway I entered. I swear I was ready to grab up a Piper Doll for a little bit. After my story to Earth Erotic sigh, what should I spend my money on? Dirty Diana, this explains where I’ve been. I’ve talked about my new gun all this week, like some NRA cunt nugget. Anyway, I was overcome wanting to look at an AR-15 and a shotgun. A pistol scares the crap out of me, and I want bigger.

I’ll spare you the “Bang, Bang You’re Dead” script before I get to high school. To be fair, any high school teen could beat my novel, which I haven’t worked on all day. It could be having to cut the grass and deal with my Olds. Another excuse would be I regret what I did to Anna Cecilia Fae. Don’t panic! She’s a character in my story, which is looking more like a porno or a snuff film. Out of fifteen female characters, only five are fucking the Grim Reaper so far. Yeah, it’s literally beginning to look like that Hentai “Dark Shell.” If anything, that’s my saving grace. Breaking NO FAP sadly but trading shooting one thing for another. I should try shooting some words on the damn page.

Is that what I want, to keep writing, what is the Will of the Dead.

I Will Have No Fear