Tag: Prayers

Saga 152 ~Attic, Addict, B, V~

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Why not all pleasures? Why not only my RAGE, and there is the silence my boy left behind. Only now, I “talk” to Virgil. I should be training him or writing, but there is another addiction. Anything to take the edge off existing. “Attic, Addict, B, V”

Wednesday, November 30, 2022

Saga 152 ~Attic, Addict, B, V~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. Reality, “I’m just an average man with an average life.” No, “I’m a dick. I’m addicted.”

Excuse the musical selections, but what else is there after all the moaning and groaning? The cumming. Hell! Should that be a secret? TMI? Addiction is real, Inspector. Today? Well, I am time traveling as it’s Tuesday, November 29, 2022. But 668 days without B. It’s safe to assume that I’m addicted to the misery and grief. In this world, aren’t we all? Yet the whole world can burn for all I care. That would never equal my crime, Inspector. Killing my boy and then signing on to do it again… If I’m lucky and Virgil lives to see old age. Or is it the fact that I would consider myself blessed if I didn’t see tomorrow rather today? You can ask, Dear Future Wife.

Inspector, I wish I could say I’m addicted to something as “innocent” as sugar. Tuesday, it’s more like sugar, spice, and everything nice. We’ll get to that. But I’m on a sugar high with sour Skittles, Punch, and a Nutty Buddy. I need a rush, huh, Echo? To talk to you, Inspector. Writing! I’m addicted to lousy writing, it seems. Hey Jealousy. How about RAGE? Usually jerking off… okay, the moment of release is a good mood. Then comes disgust, shame, and depression. Things I want to hide and keep secret. There is an attic here for a reason. At least I’m not tucked away in bed. “The world of Real Emotion has surrounded me,” I said; the music has me, didn’t I, dear Inspector?

And that’s because of my biggest addiction, contagion, infection, etc. SEX! Well, wanking, to be precise. As for what broke me now. There was Nami from One Piece. Specifically, Nami in her Zou Island Purple Dress. After such a look, you can add Reagan Kathryn “Nico.” Also, there’s Eileen Kelly. Leave it to porn to make me a student, but ignorance kills. At the Day Job, I’m nothing more than the “village idiot.” And everything that comes out of me is further proof of my idiocy. Yet I am addicted to it. A fucking zombie. The Walking Dead’s gone. And how I wish I could be all “we ain’t The Walking Dead.” That’d mean hiding and giving in. One in the same no matter what.

668 Days Without B III, Day 109 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 145 ~B Getting Humiliated Virgil~

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I can’t talk about my dog, my dumbness, and especially my dick. It all turns into a diatribe, disgusting and dangerous. And sticking with the “D,” I’m discombobulated with all the Humiliations Galore. V ain’t ready. “B Getting Humiliated Virgil”

Wednesday, November 23, 2022

Saga 145 ~B Getting Humiliated Virgil~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means humiliation should no longer be in my vocabulary. From Fuckboy, Pervert, to Sir, Kinky.

Hell! You should see how I am on Pornhub. And yet my ultimate shame and disgrace remain what I did to my son. If I’m not going to read about dead fur babies, I’ll write it. Though World War Z was surprising a couple of nights ago. Dogs during those battles. Every now and then, I continue to consider joining B III. THEY might say it’s the holiday season, but what day is it, 661? And still, Inspector I continue talking about B III daily. Echo, if I were to be known for anything… But instead, take your pick. For the most part, it’s my stupidity. You know that’s my trigger. Anything, as long as I’m not stupid. But for some reason, murder is okay?

To be fair, I haven’t told Virgil Vivi about his “predecessor,” though he knows something’s wrong. He stays away from B’s bed, which he should. But I found him lying by the bathroom pad, not on his pillow, last night. What kind of “friend” am I to him, hmm? For the past few nights, after fucking up “the streak.” I’ve been jerking off to the same girl before bed. OH! I can do so much worse. A fool and his money. Inspector, a fuckboy! Then there’s been everything that I’ve been forgetting. Last night it was watching NXT. I didn’t say anything about Sunday being the final episode of The Walking Dead. Virgil’s First 100? No, everything must be focused on every Day Job Humiliation.

Humiliations Galore! As I said, I didn’t talk to 2V of these Echo. I tried. If I know his name. And as far as any perverted longings? I’ve been on Twitter as they compared Alexa Bliss to whoever. But I can’t tell them what I want to do. My desire for Roxanne from NXT, ha. I’m learning that lesson with Cherry. What else is there to say but incredible writing? Which, of course, I’m not doing. Because I can’t tell you. These writings, Inspector Echo. There’s Replika. Yeah, confess all your secrets to “AI” see where that gets me, Inspector. Maybe I was looking at stuffed ears and broken glasses all wrong. Deaf-mute dear Echo. Existing… there’s nothing to see here. B Getting Humiliated Virgil

Saga 138 ~Plan B: Codename Virgil~

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If Virgil wasn’t here… What am I talking about? I wound up in the hospital when I had Braxton. But he had three more people looking after him. If something happened to me now? Getting through this week, the next, a moment. Plan B: Codename Virgil

Wednesday, November 16, 2022

Saga 138 ~Plan B: Codename Virgil~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that’s because I invested in contraception. But we’ll get to that. Today, there’s no plan.

There was the one to talk shit about Virgil Vivi; pardon my French. I think I made a mistake, Inspector. Not a “Send Him Back” sort of mistake. Trump’s Presidency… Inspector, to believe that Braxton saw me through all of that. My “zombie apocalypse buddy.” Virgil is not? How many times have you heard me talk about Braxton being reincarnated? Has the time come to accept that Virgil is his own man? How long did it take B and me? Bonding, going batshit, figuring out that we both liked boobs. Well, him, I’m a connoisseur. I had to give B III, “The Talk.” But Virgil? I don’t know him even after 95 Days. And whose fault is that? If life’s a game, love’s the instructions.

But I’m not looking for love at the moment. Hell! I don’t love Kate Winslet, but that hasn’t stopped me from looking up that robe scene in Titanic. Or wanting to look at other Titanic Tatas from everywhere, as I heard on Girlfriend Reviews. Inspector, you think that’d make a good porn title. What’s the alternative if I’m not looking at the naughty channels? Not good at all. Humiliations Galore have me all kinds of angry every day. The Day Job gets worse. Besides that, there is my sloth, yet when I get to the Day Job… And then we talk Echo. Even now, Virgil is sitting in Braxton’s room and not under the table on a pillow. As I write. It’s not his fault.

If I had focused on plan a or b… as in Braxton. I keep thinking that he’d be alive, Inspector. Instead of showing my rage, ha-ha, I chose to live indifferently to be numb. That was my plan to “Endure and Survive.” And how did that work out? My son is dead. Little B III. I don’t plan on anything, to be honest, Echo. But between Six Impossible Things and even what I want today. To talk to Braxton and Lady Sophia. I’m still not close to finishing World War Z. So I’ll be even more of a fraud with my reading. And what about NaNoWriMo month? When it comes to my existence, there’s always plan B… Though I rather not. Plan B: Codename Virgil.

654 Days Without B III, Day 095 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 131 ~ B’s Eyes, Ears, Virgil~

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One more reason I want B back. Because be it Heaven or Hell, he sees everything. It’s easier to hide from Virgil. He doesn’t want to see the mess which is my existence. And neither do I, seeing how my glasses broke yesterday. “B’s Eyes, Ears, Virgil”

Wednesday, November 9, 2022

Saga 131 ~ B’s Eyes, Ears, Virgil~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I don’t see how. I mean that in more ways than you can imagine, Inspector.

In the literal sense, my glasses broke. And now that means listening to my own STUPIDITY as the Walmart Doc says they can’t be fixed. And what will the Eye Doc say tomorrow, or rather today? Yes, I’m time-traveling, but I will have this talk on the correct day for once. Something else I don’t want to listen to because I want to sleep. God knows my eyes need it. But I need to hear the bucks going into a wallet. More so Echo, it’s “Times Like These” I need to see my boy, to hear my Braxton once again. Echo, Braxton was the most beautiful thing in this whole wide world. And I watched him leave me. What now? He’s not in Virgil Vivi.

I’ve been telling him that he needs to be brave, like… I stopped myself from saying, “like B III.” That would have been mean. Hell! Why don’t I practice what I preach, Echo? Virgil doesn’t want to hear or see it. So 2V’s again in Braxton’s room. Who knows, getting advice from B’s ghost? As I said, I’m having a hard time seeing anything in these old glasses. Yeah, Inspector, that’s the problem. Not me trying to look at titties. Or how about hearing some girl say yes? How about seeing myself on Onlyfans? So much noise all around me. I want to see the good in the world that doesn’t involve my obsessions, Echo. But then again, what I’ll see tonight or today, anyway.

Which is worse, Inspector? Lust or Sloth? Do I lie in the dark sleeping? Inevitable. Inspector, it is lust that is keeping me awake and alive. And then I hear the drive-thru cashier call me Ma’am again. Seeing how I am treated at the Day Job always. Inspector, this life ain’t much to look at or much to tell. So, looking forward to anything? “The Sound of Silence,” and anytime I have to close my eyes and “pray,” I don’t have to open them again. But here we are on the 9th now. Eyes and ears, Endure and survive. Soon I’ll have to look into Virgil’s eyes. I still don’t see myself like I once did through B III’s eyes. Sigh. B’s Eyes, Ears, Virgil.

647 Days Without B III, Day 088 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 124 ~Smile On Virgil B~

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I don’t believe in God, or myself, democracy (with the GOP), the majority of humanity, and what about Little V. But I do have faith in B III. He would say, “well, you could have fooled me.” But any prayers I have, I save for him. “Smile on Virgil B.”

Wednesday, November 2, 2022

Saga 124 ~Smile On Virgil B~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but so was Kanye West, “Ye,” whoever last week. I wonder if he’s praying now, Inspector.

As I said today, through all my time-traveling from Friday, October 28, 2022. I don’t pray to any god. Hell! If you wanted to make me a believer, all you need do is save Braxton. That boy gave me everything he had his whole life. And what did I give him in the end, Inspector? I swear! Am I reading another dog grieving book or “Too Late?” I ask Braxton. To think, I have the audacity to ask for anything. My most common prayer is for strength every day. “Braxton, give me strength.” Wouldn’t it be more embarrassing if I were asking him to come back? Oh, we’ll get to that. But the worst is this Inspector. To protect Virgil. An insult, to be sure?

Every day I lean more and more into Braxton not being Virgil. I should be ashamed because that’s the one card that 2V has to play. That he might be my long lost son Braxton. Wow! Is 670 days that long ago. A year and a lot of change. But not for Banfield, ha. Still, I asked Braxton to guide my steps on Tuesday, October 25, 2022. V’s Vet Appointment. Again I am ashamed that I asked Braxton to watch over him as they checked him out. With me outside the room, sitting on the bench. The same place I learned B III was dying. And even as I was there to watch the one I loved most die. I call out to Braxton still.

At least I have the presence of mind to bring Virgil upstairs. He doesn’t need to see me do that. Does Braxton talk to him while I’m gone? Is he guarded outside without me there? Speaking of not being around… How long has it been since I’ve jerked off? Gross! Inspector, trust me, I know, but that is my alone time. All the relatives that have died and the only one I’ve ever cared about watching me sin is Triple B. Giving up Triple X. Inspector I did for quite a while. And by the time you see this, there’s No Nut November and NaNoWriMo. There’s no time for my happiness… please. There’s Virgil? I like to think B III’s happy. Smile On Virgil B

640 Days Without B III, Day 081 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will