Tag: Sunday

Chronicle 304 ~Ways To B Bad~

WillLeave a comment

“Bad” things I’ve spent money on… pistol, porno, plenty of food (B was always hungry.) His Aunt, though, fixed him a cake so full he actually threw in the towel. I got gifts to buy with birthdays and a week to endure and survive. “Ways To B Bad”

Sunday, May 1, 2022

Chronicle 304 ~Ways To B Bad~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but is it sad, mad, or bad that you aren’t as well? With mornings like this, right.

It’s sad that you didn’t participate in Camp NaNoWriMo last month, not a day. “For the First Time in Forever.” If you haven’t been listening to Succubus Lord, play Disney. Speaking of Disney, don’t forget to buy Braxton’s Aunt a little bit of each for her birthday on Star Wars Day. With all the reasons to be sad, what’s one more. The fact that you won’t be spending this one in front of the TV. Hell! Like Succubus Lord, you know the stories so well that you could listen and never be lost. “And isn’t it ironic… don’t you think?” I talk about not being lost, but you won’t listen to me. Makes me wonder why you woke up late. That and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing Pawverbs for a Dog Lover’s Heart: Inspiring Stories of…
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 000 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Because it’s mad to wake up to failure at the beginning of every week. Hell, it’s mad to get up at all some mornings. You don’t want to go sounding like Cherry now. B would never forgive me for that. I’ve said often enough he spent his life protecting me always. And as the song goes, “He Lives In You.” I swear three different Disney references. From Frozen, The Lion King, and (sigh) Star Wars. You’re trying hard not to forget your friends, or at least Yabbos you haven’t seen, with M Anime and Cherry. M Anime talks about “going soldier.” It’s madness that we all haven’t with life. One more reason you continue studying death. “Perpetually trapped… in a never-ending spiral.” Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing When Your Pet Dies: A Guide to Mourning, Remembering…
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Even knowing this is bad. But yeah, it was getting a little too cute. Either way, both get you into trouble, and it’s not like you’re going to listen to me anyway. Last week’s lessons. Take Monday, for example. You shouldn’t wait so long to get help. The money spent… On that note, 20 X 52 is 1,040. You hate math. So honor B III without the food and treats? I’d ask you to lay off “adult entertainment,” but this week brings its “humiliations galore.” So while you’re getting gifts for Carolina. And imagining Cherry with nothing on, buy something… I don’t know what, but don’t give the Day Job this Day (sigh). Inevitable. You and Braxton, Bad Boys For Life. Ways To B Bad

Gospel 304 ~Will You Just B~

455 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 297 ~We’ll B Going Soon~

WillLeave a comment

If I wasn’t in so much pain right now, I wouldn’t leave this bed. Isn’t that exactly what got me into trouble in the first place? Lying here yesterday thinking I was doing myself a favor so I could “HEAR” the world around me. We’ll B Going Soon.

Sunday, April 24, 2022

Chronicle 297 ~We’ll B Going Soon~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, yet I leave you to suffer. I haven’t owed someone an apology like this since B III.

Because as the song goes, “’cause I’m still here.” At least the repercussions of my sins. Those have you suffering at this moment. What was it I said about putting things out into the universe? And now that I have, dammit, your world’s about to get a whole lot bigger. Now, of course, this is your call to make. Are you going to be like any Republican and hoard what wealth you have? Will you let people suffer? Helps that THEY don’t consider you a person, a man. Have you ever wondered why dragons would sit on heaps of gold forever? It didn’t help when Braxton was dying, and you were so fucking selfish. I wish I had been selfish yesterday. You’d be better off.

  1. I WILL BE Finishing Goodbye, Friend: Healing Wisdom for Anyone by Gary Kowalski
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 004 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

But now you have to leave this bed and go to the store to fix my mistake. You’re not even sure you can, but you have to try. Even in this, you continue to be a miser because Walmart is what you know. You have a choice. With a thousand choices, you’ll see the sticker price. But a few hours ago, you were ready to go rushing off to a doctor. History repeats itself, you see. When B III was sick, you were anxious to get him to a vet, whatever the cost. But all you can think about is the sticker shock with your own well-being; hmm. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst, right? Well, what’s the worst thing that could happen?

  1. I WILL BE Finishing Pawverbs for a Dog Lover’s Heart: Inspiring Stories of…
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 000 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Dale Carnegie talked about accepting the worst case, and after that, what do you have to worry about? The Tenth Man Rule talks about disagreeing when a decision’s been made. So your decision so far? After our conversation has ended, you’ll take a shower, go to the store, and return with what you need. What’s the worst thing? Terrifying? Inevitable? Death doesn’t frighten you. Pain is a deserved punishment for what happened to B III. Still, the way you’re feeling right now? I looked to comfort my friends instead of myself all last night. I did fight for you Friday, so the Day Job isn’t an issue. If I have any advice for you, stop putting yourself last. Six Impossible Things? We’ll B Going Soon.

Gospel 297 ~B Free Of Knowing~

448 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 290 ~B-Side You That Counts~

WillLeave a comment

The thing to your left or right is your defense… To my left is a frame showing my son, the box with his remains and let’s not talk about the drawer beneath. There’s juice, meds, and some notes full of dirty things to my right. B-Side You That Counts.

Sunday, April 17, 2022

Chronicle 290 ~B-Side You That Counts~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and God, how you need to make it rain right now. I’m sorry I left you nothing.

There’s still a love for Braxton inside you always. But how was that brought out 441 days ago? To think of all the days you wish you could join him. Yeah, you woke up wishing. Pure selfishness that you’re only thinking about yourself. Again, as always. Your bum ear and whatever’s been going on since January. Yes, my fault, I know. And with this week? Like my predecessors, I don’t know what to tell you right now. Hell, in a few minutes? Pop pills, drink cranberry juice, and go back to bed? Yeah, that last one assumes you left it. No? For that, you would need good sense. Heart, and some fucking guts. Impossible hmm? There’s a whole damn list about oh Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing Animal Afterlife: In Their Own Words by Leta Worthington
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 041 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 005 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Speaking of things not inside you. Didn’t I talk about a brunette, a pair of “Daisy Dukes,” and some dirty talk? I fucked up #4 of the list; fucking owe you lots of apologies. I’d say pardon my language if I thought you’d hear me. Oh no, you know what you’re hearing at this particular moment. I wouldn’t blame you if you did. To feel good for about how long? It would beat you vomiting all over the place. Yup, once upon a time, right? Looks like you got ahold of that pill after all for all the good it will do. You could be making yourself worse, putting all this into the universe. Then again, B III doesn’t get more dead. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing “Goodbye, Friend: Healing Wisdom for Anyone” by Gary Kowalski
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 004 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

At least there was someone to share the burden when he was beside you. Those that were never meant for him and, in the end, what happened. Um, you don’t look a thing like Jesus. I know. Yet you promised him paradise, and with the books, you’re reading this week. Found it? Tell that to the girl in your bed. Oh yeah, that’s right, there’s no girl anywhere near here, right? From “When You Were Young” to “Pictures on My Phone,” you’re hopeless sigh. It doesn’t stop you from believing in “The Placebo Effect,” now does it? The juice beside you, the thought of more pills, chicken noodle soup. But it was always B III. The love of your little boy. B-Side You That Counts.

Gospel 290 ~Orange You Glad Braxton~

441 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 283 ~There B Zombies Here~

WillLeave a comment

We are The Walking Dead. But only for 11 seasons, and the books I’ve not read. And all the spinoffs. Hell, I’m willing to think about anything other than my father or my failures as a Daddy. To look after House, Home, and Health. There B Zombie Here.

Sunday, April 10, 2022

Chronicle 283 ~There B Zombies Here~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. Which means I can afford to think about fountains and banging a brunette waitress. Seriously stay awake.

Better yet, you could try getting out of bed this morning. If I’m going to go through the trouble of buying Cranberry Juice for your “pain.” The least you can do is get up, hmm? And no, I don’t mean like that. I wonder if you’ll still be thinking about a particular waitress afterward. Don’t get me wrong, it’s understandable you thinking about angels. Only, so one said, that when you’re in Hell, only the Devil can help you out. (Hears all the succubi shout out at once) “Lucifer.” Yeah, you’re starting Succubus Lord 13 today or rather yesterday. Only you know your Devil’s name (sigh), and where is guardian angel, oh Braxton, my Braxton? Is he making room for you doing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing The Amazing Afterlife of Animals by Karen A. Anderson
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 034 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 041 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

And here you are, thinking you could survive a zombie apocalypse. You can’t get out of bed and walk downstairs to have this conversation today. We’ll see in forty minutes? What about the obstacle coming your way today? If your father comes by, you’re fucked. If he doesn’t, you still have no idea what’s going on. All that water pouring into the dirt right now. That isn’t the only thing you wish was hitting the ground, but I know you won’t do anything… dangerous words to utter. Your body is falling apart as is. Do you think B III said, “give it a year?” As much as you want to say you didn’t kill him, you did. And being without him or Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing Animal Afterlife: In Their Own Words by Leta Worthington
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 041 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

This isn’t what they call living or even existing, “right?” With all the people, the GOP gets killed… to sacrifice your life for one more deserving. The only one you would die for? Braxton beat you to it. And because of me, as the song goes, you’ll sing out “I’m Still Here,” but for what reason? If you listed everything that was wrong with you. Fuck, you could ignore it, right? But that’s not good advice: forget what you know to be the truth. Like sometimes, cursing is beneath you. It’s better to get it out of the way before your father comes if he does. With your fear of him, you’re The Walking Dead. Better than a gross, grieving grunter. There B Zombies Here

Gospel 283 ~What If Braxton Did~

434 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 276 ~Nightmares, To B Real~

WillLeave a comment

I’m starting to get the hang of Stockholm Syndrome. As much as I hate my Day Job, I’m doing my best not to lose it. I love B III, but where is he now? The tears come for various reasons, but this time I was sleeping. “Nightmares To B Real.”

Sunday, April 3, 2022

Chronicle 276 ~Nightmares, To B Real~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you were still asleep, so you missed your chance. In fact, you were welcomed to nightmares.

The things you shouldn’t be putting out into the universe. No wonder you want to spend money like it’s going out of style. Hell, if you don’t start putting some of that cash up towards your needs… You’ll be living some of the worst days of your entire existence, hmm? Braxton’s dead, you were fucking born, you got the Day Job. Yeah, fucking Hard Times. Now let’s start with the obvious, and I don’t mean being hard. Buying some antibiotics. There’s also the car that you need to worry about. Being trapped isn’t inevitable (sigh). And yup, if you’re going to be staring at a screen all day, you need new specs, an FYI, right. Did all of this bring on nightmares? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing “Will YOUR Dog Reincarnate?,” A Novel By Gail Graham
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 027 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 034 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

While you haven’t been working on the whole list, you haven’t dreamed of B III. I never dreamed of him dying but in the daylight? Again things that aren’t meant to be out in the universe. Is this some sick lesson in positive thinking? Um, the horrors of this week? Why did I just look for black stress balls? Ha, something about masturbation, my dude. But 34 days clean, and you think how you’re going nuts. Stop it, ok, before you go back to 1. Why don’t we talk about the dream that drove you from bed? Well, no, but you’re awake. And you didn’t wake up bawling. No, you cried while you were sleeping and for the most horrible reason. Not Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing The Amazing Afterlife of Animals by Karen A. Anderson
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 034 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

No, what you cried for is for something that doesn’t deserve a tear. And all last week, people have been saying black men are forbidden from wrath. Hell, you’re one for pride if we’re talking Sister Superbia from Succubus Lord. There’s lust represented by Libidine and envy Invidia. Distractions, yeah, this is something you’re ashamed of besides your treachery with B III. The nightmare that woke you up this morning is this… Losing the Day Job (shocked). Fuck as much as you hate the place, what would you do without it? Whenever you feel you’re too hard on yourself. A grown-ass man, you think what the old man will do. Things not to put out in the universe without Braxton’s protection. Nightmares, To B Real.

Gospel 276 ~Boys Will Be Braxton~

427 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 269 ~Remembering A’s and B’s~

WillLeave a comment

I do remember that B III was a dog, right? But I remember Panther, The Lion King, and what’s another word for cat? Anyway, there was a dream of a golden stripper pole shaped like… Hell, I was a good person at some point? Remembering A’s and B’s.

Sunday, March 27, 2022

Chronicle 269 ~Remembering A’s and B’s~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but that does nothing for your memory. Hell, last night, I dreamt of a golden stripper pole.

So I can understand why you’re waking up so late. Um, more like we’re talking now since you were up at 4:00, and you’ve fucked up with two moms before 5:30. Called your Ma and shared that collage of Cherry’s mum. What she’s got it going on, funny guy. Now you won’t heed my words but a few concepts. Doritos and soda aren’t for dinner. Whenever you say you’re only going to shut your eyes for ten minutes, you’re lying. Pornos keep you awake and alive “Don Corneo’s Underground Arena” Um ok but you’re here and late. Not that I’m knocking Opiumud. Those films knock buying a bit of gold. Which reminds you, why haven’t you bought your gold chain. Bust thinking Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing “It’s Just A Dog” A Novel By Russ Ryan
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 020 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 027 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

It’s been about four weeks now, so I don’t fault you for thinking with Stuff and Thangs at the moment. Of course, that’s after you had a bit of a cry about Braxton and alarms. Above all else, B III is the first thought of the day, and in a way, it’s like you want to drive out that goodness. Or is it the book you’re reading now that is getting to you? One more, hmm? You want to remember one of the days I had that was super energized. No, if you’re going to stay awake right now, you’ll look up Opiumud. One of many things to know. Why have you been thinking of Panther (1995)? Then golden stripper poles and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing “Will YOUR Dog Reincarnate?,” A Novel By Gail Graham
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 027 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Cut to wanting to stare into the dark sky and see Braxton staring down at you like Mufasa. Remember who you are? You are my father, my daddy, and you always will be. A sob? No, you’re not going to cry. But you know when you told B he’d be as tall as a king? Braxton is high now in your thoughts, and he’s trying his damndest to get you to rise out of this bed. I think I said once I was going to let him be the one to give you advice, ha? The only man you’d ever listen to out of respect instead of fear. That’s why you must remember him always, not mourn but remember. Being alive, Remembering A’s and B’s.

Gospel 269 ~Braxton Spills The Beans~

420 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 262 ~Having A B Life~

WillLeave a comment

Now, if I wasn’t such a lazy ass? I would have already organized so many quotes I’m finding in “It’s Just A Dog.” Better, if I hadn’t been so filled with hate and exhausted, I would have heard B when he needed me. So yeah, Having A B Life taken…

Sunday, March 20, 2022

Chronicle 262 ~Having A B Life~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I wish I could tell you how. How to live a life with Braxton is better…

Hell, you woke up an hour ago, and what have you been doing? Does this look like a B life? What about a C? It’s like being back in school, trying not to get your ass whupped, and living with a D. Ask your Old Man. Those two things were not mutually exclusive, to be honest. Oh, and speaking of a D, what about the D. Explains this morning, right. Don’t get me wrong, I understand why you’re not prone to listen to wit and wisdom. What’s my history on that? Already you’re all for looking up, umm… nevermind (sigh). Yet you have been looking up a particular branded clothing line (cough) Vixen (cough) ha. And before that, there was a message from Alice Little.

  1. I WILL BE Finishing Heart Dog: Surviving the Loss of Your Canine Soul Mate
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 013 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 020 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

What would Braxton think? He didn’t have a dime to his name and stayed out of so much trouble. Plus, B didn’t have a list of Six Impossible Things to forget about. He has you. Now I don’t mean Braxton forgot you. Impossible! You’re still reading “It’s Just A Dog.” Every day I read it, I was gaining new “insights?” I don’t know, but I take the book as a sign. Only I know how you listen to me, so why do I bother? But if it’s from Little B. Honest, you couldn’t, more like wouldn’t give him A Life you both deserved but the B Life. If the book is any indication, he had a good life. And what about you, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing “It’s Just A Dog” A Novel By Russ Ryan
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 020 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

What about this? Don’t try to be a great/good dog; just be a dog. And let history make its own judgments. Braxton is history. Harsh! By what right do you judge? What would B say? That’s the thing he wouldn’t. You’d fall asleep, and you would find him protecting you. Weird that I tell you to listen to him when you would never listen to me. You are still here. Ok, you should cut off YouTube. Stop researching IMDB. Oh, and all the porn too. Although I’m sure, Braxton wouldn’t mind. But you didn’t do “stuff and thangs” around him. But of course, he was a free spirit. A spirit, a ghost, a memory. But he is your son, ok? Always Having A B Life.

Gospel 262 ~B Moaning Next Week~

413 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 255 ~Behind So Many Words~

WillLeave a comment

I’m falling behind. Damn Day Job. If I could make my job writing or reviewing porn. Hell, there was a time I wanted to be a vet. But I can’t stand the KARENS on Saturday. All these things require “Life” and getting behind that. “Behind So Many Words”

Sunday, March 13, 2022

Chronicle 255 ~Behind So Many Words~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but you will never be unless you wake up. Today your excuse is Daylight Savings Time. Geez!

It doesn’t matter what time it is, hmm. When it comes to you… “It ain’t never too hot or never too cold – for fuckin’!” Lines from “Do the Right Thing.” And besides being a black man. You know you’re no kind of good one. I’m telling you to be a WOKE one. Get up! But I’m no one to talk to if you heard how I spoke to Lu yesterday to stay awake, ha… I went a little crazy, but there isn’t a noble reason to rise for you. The good one is dead. You always go back to that Wednesday when you told Braxton to shush it because you wanted to sleep. Why do you think you’re always up at 4:00 now? 3:00.

  1. I WILL BE Finishing “Signs From Pets In The Afterlife”
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 006 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 013 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Time is a word, so’s masturbation, or Six Impossible Things. It doesn’t mean squat ok? Not ok because words are supposed to mean something. Dammit, “This Is Your Life,” No, it isn’t. Every word you write is so you can get back to Bible Black. Do you want a list?

  1. Bible Black
  2. Chloe Cherry “Euphoria”
  3. “Landlady”
  4. Azur Lane St. Louis
  5. Mia Khalifa
  6. Dalmascan Night
  7. Yuffie
  8. Sorority Secrets

And that’s only last week and this morning when you asked yourself how you raised yourself from the dead. I have two words for you. Mai Shiranui. Getting hard inevitably. Don’t they say, do what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life? Only this isn’t even your life yet. You continue to imagine what it means to have your own life. A man provides, right. But for yourself, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing Heart Dog: Surviving the Loss of Your Canine Soul Mate
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 013 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You have yet to accomplish them. So how can you think you were Braxton’s Daddy? While you’re at it, go back to Rule # 015 I Take My Own Lumps. What does that mean, hmm? Pain is life, and you take it, but it damn sure ain’t living. Sleeping always? Dangerous words as always. And it’s not like you love yourself. Fucking sure! But love? Pardon my language. What is behind the word “Love?” It’s furry B poking you in the back, saying, “You can’t come this way yet.” You see him facing the Hell that was killing you, so you can continue to sit here and do what? Not whip “willy” out pounding away? Sleeping away this life. Your Existence? Behind So Many Words

Gospel 255 ~This “H” For Braxton~

406 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 248 ~Anything But Don’t Go~

WillLeave a comment

I saw B’s ghost yesterday. A little dramatic? I saw a white Chihuahua, and in less than a minute or ten, he was gone. I didn’t ask Braxton to stay, but I’m not sure I asked him to go. And having to deal with the Day Job! “Anything But Don’t Go.”

Sunday, March 6, 2022

Chronicle 248 ~Anything But Don’t Go~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but you won’t be if you keep reading about “Angel Numbers” and refusing the Day Job, right?

Not to say I blame you on either front. At this rate, scrub away and go. Such is your terror. I don’t think this is what they meant by the saying, “twenty seconds of insane courage.” Call the Day Job and tell them you aren’t coming in. Next to being without Braxton. STUPIDITY is your greatest FEAR. You don’t have to face it. Well, indeed, if you were so smart, I know. At least that’s how I felt yesterday. Currently, I’ve been talking about reading the signs. While those “Angel Numbers” seem asinine except for 11:11 from “Us.” I know I’ve seen things. Yesterday I saw B III’s ghost. Swear he was in the cage, the very image he was right there, white there, ha.

  1. I WILL BE Finishing “A Dog’s Purpose” W. Bruce Cameron
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 006 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Um, forgetting the Six Impossible Things? I should have forgotten a lot when B lived. Even now, you blame your “devotion” to the Day Job, more like your hatred for killing Monsieur B 399 days ago. For all the things Braxton “spoke,” “Don’t Go!” inevitable. Here’s a thought. Do you think that’s why you refuse to build a memorial for him even now? Of course, he still rests on the nightstand, but what else is there? When’s the last time you or I turned on his picture frame? You’re being bombarded with Ads for “Silvercut.” Braxton, I believe, is doing his best to tell you to… No, I know you don’t want to say that. But I see Braxton’s ghost say, “I don’t need this….”

  1. I WILL BE Finishing “Signs From Pets In The Afterlife”
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 006 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Like Six Impossible Things? Dammit forgot again. Anyway, as I was saying, I was at PetSmart yesterday. I think, “I don’t need this today.” The next thing I know, a woman comes in and immediately adopts Braxton’s doppelganger. Tethered, Mirrored, Chain, “Us”? Damn, you can be “deep” when you want to be. Speaking of wording, you still go over the last words you said to B III. Were any of them to go or to stay? I know you said it’s ok, but what does that mean now. What do any of the signs mean? To ask B III. Books pointing out human love? A book you find stupid? An obsession with boobs this morning? For love, for my Braxton, anything. Anything But Don’t Go.

Gospel 248 ~SUM Of Braxton’s Parts~

399 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 241 ~Let It Go B~

WillLeave a comment

I hoarded everything about my son until he died. I look to his ashes, shut in a box. And I think of a scene from Krull. I can’t stop the sand; you can’t stop time. I won’t let him go. Does that make me bad? With things I hoard or don’t. Let It Go B.

Sunday, February 27, 2022

Chronicle 241 ~Let It Go B~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but you’ll cling to, well, everything, the way I hold on to paper. Picture you, a hoarder.

Hell, I wish it was pictures, porno, a way to send your penis over the internet, in a purely non-sexual way, of course. But a 1000 words. You’re still thinking of the Day Job survey. What about “the bills, the bills?” Now to be fair, none of this is your fault yet. I burned through the paycheck. Yesterday I was the one that spent $18.09 instead of the $10.00, ha. And I’m the one that got us ready for the week. No wonder you’re so tired and haven’t had a chance to recover. You’ll still be working too. The Day Job, I mean WTF hmm. Language! Yeah, you know. But while we’re talking about words that you set free… your novels, or Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing “Return From Rainbow Bridge” Kate McGahan
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

It’s enough to “make me wanna die” or make you wanna cry, which you did around 4:30 in the morning. I swear 392 Days of tears. Grief is a virus, and you won’t cure yourself. Speaking of getting “Down with the Sickness.” It looks like you’re doing the reverse of my idea. I was holding it in because I had to survive the Day Job, but you, well, we’ll see. And as if you haven’t been thinking about your Stuff and Thangs already this morning. I mean, seriously, between all the stuff you should buy for Braxton. Then sexual treasures. You’re all about throwing your money away. It’s been a month or so since I wanted to see some AI get freaky. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing “A Dog’s Purpose” W. Bruce Cameron
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You wish that was one of them. Letting go of it/her. It’d be far easier than the sadness. All of it for poor B III. Then his Aunt Carolina lost Dobby, and now fur-baby Odin is missing. I won’t tell you to let go of FEAR, STUPIDITY, SEX. Okay, the idea of sex always makes it into Six Impossible Things. You’d have to sleep a lot. A dangerous idea. Could I convince you to let go of the bed? Hell, I didn’t, for the most part. Yesterday, after going out, I usually set up my tray in the Den. Yeah, eating tacos in bed. It wouldn’t much matter to Braxton. You told him to let go of life. You hoard death… Let It Go B

Gospel 241 ~Braxton’s All The Rage~

392 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will