Tag: Woman

Lesson 262 ~WILL Rest In Pieces~

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Being swept off your feet, or as the song goes “Love lift us up where we belong,” is there any wonder we aren’t all broken with all this falling and such, hearts are a lot stronger than I think but they could still lie broken. WILL Rest In Pieces yep

Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Lesson 262 ~WILL Rest In Pieces~

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Fine Today; sometimes I think that living for the love of you, my heart has grown so much that surely it can’t all be there and I don’t think it’s supposed to be actually.

You’re my wife, my lover, my best friend; well, the dog might have something to say about the third; anyway what you are not is the maid, though there will be days when everything has its place and others when it looks like a crime scene. Neither are you a therapist, well who knows but I will try to keep it together, the house is one thing, but as for myself, all I need is time and you, I still believe. As Chris Rock said once “Every woman on the planet’s a spy.” You will never have to piece together my love for you; you’ll know that every single day, you’ll find it my babydoll.

I see that in those pieces of me, of you, of us in the next room, maybe I do wrong my heart too much, fragments growing into full hearts all on their own and I need not worry but of course I always will because that’s my job. Love can be one great puzzle so how are any of us even to begin putting it all together, how many pieces are there in total, what have I lost along the way, yet keep it together?

A single kiss from your lips and my words are not so broken, and when I find them again I love you doesn’t seem so complicated, and it doesn’t seem big enough either but there is such peace discovered there. Even more so when I have my arms around you, how can anyone be so fragile and still be stronger than anyone I know, I want to keep you but I cannot contain you, and it feels like I might break at any moment and when I have, when I do and when I will… All Of Me as John Legend sings, and here I am trying to sweep you off your feet again, but in case I haven’t made this clear, I’m your Humpty Dumpty, and you’re my Wonderwall.

You deserve so much more my love than to stay beside a broken man but you do, and while I might never know why; one piece of me will wonder, another will try harder but someday, somehow beside you, here and now, forever, and always I WILL Rest In Pieces

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 255 ~A Love Of Learning~

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Wise men say, only fools rush in, so why aren’t I rushing at my age and it doesn’t look like I’m going to inherit millions, upon millions of dollars anytime soon, not that I have ever wanted the bimbo type. A Love Of Learning

Tuesday, March 13, 2018

Lesson 255 ~A Love Of Learning~

“I’m not a smart man… but I know what love is.” Forrest Gump

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, I think love makes fools of us all, and at the end of the day I suppose I would rather be a fool than a coward, and I know, trust me I know I do that all the time. You know what makes me a genius, what makes me a man, a smart one at that, is somehow or another we’re together.

“Oh, I didn’t dare look at you, you were so beautiful. It was scary. Afterwards, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. It made me smile. And then I thought of all the men who would get to hold you, who would make you laugh… how lucky they were. And now I’m the one lying next to you.” ― Vassili Zaitsev, Enemy at The Gates (2001)

I think you know by now that smart girls are my type or would you prefer I call you pretty for the billionth time, it’s not every girl that gets a man to pick up a dictionary, a thesaurus, the works of Rumi. Yeah, I’m no builder, my angel, as Elton John put it “If I was a sculptor, but then again, no.” I couldn’t build you a Heaven, even if I wanted to, but I swept you off your feet so that I could raise you high enough that I felt I could never reach you. Is this my way of saying you’re complicated, Math is that and more, understanding me, babydoll you must be something else, but you, I give you my life, it started for a minute, and here we are still.

“Who says I’m trying to look prettier? Maybe I want to look smart or kind or funny.” ― A Kingdom Divided Against Itself, Containment (2016)

Can I call myself a nerd, a geek, you probably think I’m a dork when I say I want a Ron and Hermione type of love, “Glenn and Maggie,” Peeta and Katniss, Ron wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, we saw Glenn’s brains… and Peeta went crazy. I’m probably not going to be the one to help our children with homework, and I pray that they get your mind for things, hell they might save the world one day. Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire I’ve heard, so maybe I am wrong when I suggested that love makes fools of us and as you are trying to get me to admit I might be smarter than I realize, as smart as you…

I wasn’t brave enough, strong enough, inspired enough to make it through college but to have the girl of my dreams, I found a way. Where there’s a WILL, there’s a way, and I won’t ever say it’s wrong to want to know you, to want to know me, to know us. I want to know what love is, I want you to show me, yes I learned how to work all this new technology but you and me, my love that is A Love Of Learning.
I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 248 ~Four Feet of Furry~

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I asked a friend once did they think my dog referred to me as Dad or even dearest human, she was the first person he liked that wasn’t in my immediate family the people that raised me. “Four Feet of Furry,” how I tried my best with my fur baby.

Tuesday, March 6, 2018

Lesson 248 ~Four Feet of Furry~

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore; I suppose I can’t afford to be, though our children always tend to age us and how about the time it took me to find you, my love. We even gave time, “A Second Hand,” I’m not sure if that’s a dad joke or our kids will get it yet, but I like to think that this one does, that head tilt.

Yeah, I was a single father before I met you, adopting this bundle of joy… I wouldn’t go that far, but this is my kid, my son, my fur baby and Cupid himself. I’ve always said that the first girl he could stand would be the woman for me… I guess I let him down in that regard but then there was you, and what can I say, you never gave up on him on either of us just saying. If he shows to any degree what kind of father I am, the man that I am going to have to be, there’s no one else I would rather have by my side; I mean you and him both honestly.

If I can chase those four little paws around for thirteen years, and then some then a baby should be a piece of cake right… no more mammoth naps but I can hear my little one cry over anything and if there is anything I’ve learned in this world humans can be a lot more vocal. I hope so; it scares me to think how much he’s like me and to have another son that takes after me, or a daughter with your beauty and my charming personality… I think between the three of us; the kids will be alright; three and a half hopefully.

“If I had just one wish
Only one demand
I hope he’s not like me
I hope he understands
That he can take this life
And hold it by the hand
And he can greet the world
With arms wide open” With Arms Wide Open

I’m always quoting a song but how about the idea I wish I found you sooner so I could love you longer, my best friend saw me in my early twenties, and we haven’t been apart longer than three months. I promised him he would be part of a real family and while his position on the bed might come into question he has plenty to choose from thanks to us, the things four feet can do, don’t you think?

Does he think I’m a good dad, do you think I’m a good husband, god I want to be, I want to be the person my dog thinks I am, maybe he knows I’m ready, love comes in all shapes and sizes and with his, all Four Feet Of Furry.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 241 ~The World Sees Me~

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If I could only see the way you love me, everything might be solved right; you want to switch eyes… okay so not a horror movie but a love story, or maybe beer goggles, or am I just a piece of meat, I could live with that. The World Sees Me.

Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Lesson 241 ~The World Sees Me~

Dear Future Wife,
I’m Not Afraid Anymore, or I suppose I won’t be sooner or later, there won’t be any more to see and if there is I won’t spend a few hours trying to change it… message. It’s a man’s world I know it, and you worry about how the world will see you and so do I, the only difference is, to me, you are the world, knights and their shining armor, right?

Not after we slay the dragons, suffer the slings and arrows, and I spend so much time polishing and hell the first time you saw me I was probably in my hoody so why bother dressing to the nines then or now? Unquestionably because my mom wouldn’t have it any other way; my mother, my sister, women in general and no it can’t be our sleeping angel in her room, a man has to be better for himself. My love if I told you about the battles I have with the man in the mirror, and then you look at me; if you only knew how long I’ve been looking for you and when I finally found you, before then?

“You make me want to be a better man.” ― As Good as It Gets

Love can’t tell time; I heard that in a movie too, and before I met you, as I imagined the woman that you surely aren’t I had an epiphany, what if you could see me now? I even made a playlist full of songs about eyes, watching, the look of love, brown eyed girl, your eyes, and that’s just it, I know what I must look like now but back then I was worried about my face. Maybe I was hiding, and there are some things I can’t hide even if I wanted to, so that’s when I began thinking perhaps I should pretend that every day would be the day I would find you.

Let’s just say you kept me from doing more stupid stuff before we ever met and now well as the song goes, what makes a monster and what makes a man, and I cam only imagine who I am and what I am in your eyes. Bedroom eyes, those hungry eyes, those ocean eyes, I should know what makes you cry, other than certain movies and those Sarah Mclachlan commercials

So I will continue to wonder, I’m sorry, I can’t help it hopefully the future on the horizon is much grander than the past that t lies behind us, the black and white on some blog The World Sees Me.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 234 ~Just Look At Me~

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Michael Jackson once said keep it in the closet and other than all those pretty colors and outfits, how about my wife, who is complaining she has nothing to wear and personally I have nowhere I want to go, so can’t we stay home? Just Look At Me, I am

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Lesson 234 ~Just Look At Me~

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore only aren’t we always honest, has there ever been a straight answer to “does this make me look fat” or “does this make my butt look big” and how many years has it been since “Just The Way You Are”? I’m not Aladdin, but I will ask if you trust me, I’m not the Genie, but somehow I catch my breath, my heart starts beating, you knock me off of my feet and somehow love lifts us up where we belong; am I annoying you waiting here?

I’m sure I do with my million and one questions, which is why I don’t mind yours but you have mirrors, girlfriends, a dog though I’m sure he loves you for more than a dress my love. To think if love were blind I would probably still find myself in some husband’s chair listening, but I think I have a good fashion sense, don’t believe me? It’s not the hoody or the pair of jeans, some sneakers but the two of us hand in hand.

You know I’ll never complain about us being in the closet as long as I’m helping you or do you prefer when I say nothing at all. Like how much you love my dog when I see everything that has to go in the laundry, should I be jealous maybe? Not when I know how much we love each other when there are paint stains, grass, and moss, dinner, how am I going to feel when the husband chair also becomes the daddy chair someday.

If our daughter has our fashion essence, I might seriously consider us joining the Amish folk; I swear where does the time go, that’s right you’re still in the closet. Would it help if I told you the “First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” … ha, my dastardly plan worked, you coming out here to get my phone right.

Honestly though, if I told you what I saw when I first saw you, what I felt, what I wanted… let’s just say that I’m glad you’re not like other girls. Maybe I’m just happy I didn’t say nothing too stupid or profound, comparing you to a summer’s day or god forbid an “autumn” night.

The only thing that looks good on me is you, cause I got issues, but you got ’em too, saying something stupid like I love you, whatever could I answer that would convince you to stay home? Why would we ever, just look at me.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 227 ~Why Can’t Today Be~

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Valentine’s Day, I can’t say I know much about it and perhaps like most men I curse Hallmark and nearly every other retail outlet but loving your woman is something you should do every day. “Why Can’t Today Be,” other than being short one woman?

Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Lesson 227 ~Why Can’t Today Be~

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, just maybe I should be, and with all the fear I should feel there is nothing in Heaven or Earth that would make me turn around now. Though they say Hell hath no fury but then wouldn’t that melt all the chocolate, you didn’t think I would forget, the first bullet dodged.

Like the first mountain climbed, that one rock skipped, the first step taken, and I know this jewel is not as big but while some men try I will do whatever I can so that you may shine. While I’m no one for history anymore and I couldn’t tell you the day of the gold rush I know what today is and besides they never taught when the silver rush is, do they? Quite careful when picking those lessons like so many roses, lilies, chrysanthemums, there must be a million types of flowers, but at the end of the day there is only one you.

One you and I celebrate you 365 days and if there is a leap day that’s mine and even now I would rather spend it with you if I could. Now I know you’re not that type of girl, you’re not like anyone else, so why not tell you all this tomorrow like any other guy and you know I probably will. Because today is today, I don’t understand how I can call it so, but it was an ordinary day when we first met, our first date, the first I love you, how many firsts on an average day? Who knows what will happen tomorrow, the world may be brighter, a lot shinier, a lot more colorful, and I will love you even more.

The same words but I will be only one of the chorus, I’ll have to be louder, you’ll have to glow but to be sure I would pick any other day in this big full world, anniversary, asking your father for his blessing, even your birthday. To think there was a day that we weren’t together; was it worse trying to find you or a gift trying to keep you, I know I don’t need all of this but am I sure, absolutely, positively, hmm.

That’s the day I’m waiting for, the night, the moment, not today, not tomorrow but one ordinary day when I know, give me that my love, Why Can’t Today Be?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 220 ~Waiting For My Girl~

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Live today because there is no tomorrow, is that why people believe in love at first sight, I swear if I had a nickel for every potential future misses, and people wonder why I focus on hair color sometimes. Waiting For My Girl, waiting for my story.

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

Lesson 220 ~Waiting For My Girl~

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore because I won’t make the mistake of the typical man, as they say, good things come to those who wait, and I’ve stood in some truly awful lines, as I’m sure you have. Waiting for each other though, no I would instead take Mario’s approach, even if it means that plumbing job (more like retail) didn’t work out, or maybe you did your best Daenerys Targaryen, you’re the mother of dragons princess.

Maybe you will be someday with me by your side waiting for our first, our second, our third, already got the names picked out if they’re girls, Katniss, Tris, Ember, our girls on fire. No wonder I’ll need a castle and to find out my princesses are in another one, wait until I tell them the story of how I met their mother, my queen. Only why did I wait so long to find you, must have been the mushrooms, or the books, the writing, the games, to be worthy of having someone like you.

“Where have you been?”
“Waiting.” ― Fifty Shades of Grey

That’s why I’m still here, waiting, though I want to tell you “girl, you’re amazing, just the way you are,” how I love my smartphone, I love this music, and I love you even more. I suppose it serves me right, but at least we’ll be waiting together from now on, and they won’t all be so amazing, which is why I wish I found you so much sooner. When I was waiting to see if I would keep my job, when I was waiting to see if my book would be accepted, or what would become of my dog, or years and I do mean years into the future when the kids want a dog of their very own.

So you ask me why did I wait so long when I believe in love at first sight, however, could I spoil that moment and how did I know that I would see you again. Maybe I needed one more daydream, a moment to don my armor, how about how best to break it to my dog, my heart that is, and then, hmm then…

Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow.” ― William Shakespeare’s Romeo & Juliet

I can’t wait to tell this story one day, and I promise not to be Ted Mosby when the time comes, but I can already hear, what are you waiting for as you stand there, yeah I was just, I guess Waiting For My Girl.

“What are you waiting for,
Love me like you do” Love Me Like You Do

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 213 ~To Hold Your Hand~

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Must like The Beatles, just saying, and I know plenty of women that have all the answers or want so much, but “I’m not saying she’s a gold…” anyway, I get why guys hold their girls’ hand when they go shopping. “To Hold Your Hand.”

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Lesson 213 ~To Hold Your Hand~

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, the hard part’s over, we were given two hands for a reason and if I find yours in mine then what else is there to worry me; maybe I will always be, but I want to hold your hand through it all. I might even applaud myself but you’re not my prize, my trophy, my ribbon, or my ball and chain, keeper, whatever else, you give me your hand and you become both question and answer, reason.

Two in a handshake, four honestly, how your father would kill me and yet respect me with the other as I respect him and understand fearing for my life that he would say no to bless me with your hand. Everybody knows my answer when my hand reaches over to silence my phone while the other stays in yours until it’s time to turn out the light. The reason I might be less of a gentlemen holding my son or daughter in one hand and keeping you in the other, I guess I haven’t been a father or a husband for long, but I’ll learn.

I will never question how powerful you were when your hand was crushing mine, how the ultimate strength is required to bring life and love into the world. The only answer I may ever need in this world is knowing you’re by my side, and for the rest of the world, I’ll have one hand, and you’ll have the other. What other reason could there possibly be for two, if love is all you need, as they say, idle hands are the devil’s playthings, and here I think I found an angel, my cheerleader, the story I could never write.

Though I suppose to be your knight in shining armor, or as the song goes “and if the bank man comes to steal it away” I’ll work to keep everything, and if I can keep the dog clean… well, dirty diapers here I come. The things these hands have done, are doing, and will, my mother was right when she told me always wash my hands; how could I have known when I was young.

One day the most beautiful person, my favorite, favorite thing I would ask forever from and The Beatles had it right so long ago I Want To Hold Your Hand.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 206 ~Husband, Then Again Yes~

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What the man wants and what the house needs, a softer bed and 800 thread count sheets or a new water heater, the PS4 or shrimp in movies for the girl, putting myself together or getting my house in order? “Husband, Then Again Yes”

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Lesson 206 ~Husband, Then Again Yes~

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore because I knew better and if I have learned anything from most television shows; repairers, plumbers, electricians, and others can fix the house. As for myself, I can cook breakfast, I can replace a few batteries, I can even build a coffee table over the span of two days, but the two things I’m not fixing is my dog and your heart because I love you both, plus no instruction manual included.

They say that you must build a Heaven for an angel and if I were a religious man or an NSYNC fan, “(God Must Have Spent) A Little More Time on You” how about Backstreet Boys, talk about playlists I’ve meant to fix. Anyway angels I think are sorely needed on Earth, and so we find ourselves here, and if I can’t build you a home, I can at least let you decorate the one we will discover together. I expect Heaven can be quite expensive, that’s why I try my hands at other things, but I do hope you like dog hair so that you know, my furry kid.

Speaking of children well the possible two-legged ones, I can’t install a water heater, but I can pay for one, I like my internet too, and while I’m not sure where I’ll stand on Santa, if he shows up he will have a roof to land on without a doubt. I must sound like I’m defending my cave but anywhere I have you by my side is considered home and hey I just live here, love here, grow old with you right here or wherever there are excellent schools, and a beach or a beautiful yard, and it’s devilishly warm.

A heart is a house for love, and it don’t take much to find a player to fill our home with music, and a man must have his games, and his study, notice I said “study” and not a man cave, the dog must also have his space. I know it sounds like a lot has to be fixed up, and maybe I’m more put together myself just being here with you; if I didn’t make it clear before, I’ll never break your heart because what kind of man would I be… with better music.

No, I’m not handy compared to others and as much as I wish I could be every man, Superman, to be your lover, your best friend, Husband… Then Again Yes.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 205 ~I Am A Man Remember~

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Go ahead and tell everybody, I don’t know, but for once I’m not focused on the who but more on the what and usually that’s not anything I care to repeat but being a man these days. “I Am A Man Remember,” or I’ll see in the shower.

Monday, January 22, 2018

Lesson 205 ~I Am A Man Remember~

Sixteenth Rule Madam Justice,

“What makes a monster and what makes a man?” ― Clopin, The Bells of Notre Dame (Reprise), from Disney’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)

I Am Not Afraid Anymore to say to any further extent that I honestly don’t know, that’s why you’ll see variations of this rule throughout because I am trying to figure it out. Now let me say this, in a moment I will be a hypocrite, I don’t believe neither God nor woman can teach one how to be a man, it’s just not possible.

“Don’t do that. Don’t make the mistake of calling what’s inside me worry. Good men worry. Men like me take care of the problem.” ― Kit Rocha, Beyond Temptation #3.5

See I told you, that’s from a woman, and I have read more erotic literature than most and I ask myself is this what women want, but that’s sort of like being in rehab if you do it for someone else it doesn’t take. Now what about God, Jesus was made flesh correct and yet by today’s standards, traveled with twelve guys, didn’t drink, and of course, he never knew women, and somehow he was the greatest thing ever. As for myself well; I admire 60% of the men I read about, I don’t drink, I hang with a couple of girls, and I have been called some of the most horrible things but what is worse than being a man, being a woman… low.

“A woman is strength.
Not just the giver of life
and all that, but more.
Men don’t even know who they are
until they find the right woman.
Or, for that matter,
if they even want a woman.
But whatever he chooses,
it starts with us.” ― The Brothers (2001)

If a woman is a woman when she gains the ability to give life, is it the same for a man, I do have illusions of being a father one day, and I am to the four-legged ball of instant love. I can go on forever and a day about what I think a man is, but there is too much emphasis on what a man is supposed to be and speaking of my dog, I have said I want to be the man my dog thinks I am. Why not apply, if I had a daughter and she dated maybe a guy like me would I be pleased… ask Indiana Gone, I cook, I clean, I don’t lie, I don’t screw other women, how I want to but she’s not mine, so there’s that.

“Only a fool refuses a woman who offers herself.” ― Miroku’s Past Mistake, Inuyasha, 161

Here’s the question, do I want to be a man pleasing to God, women, my dog, my parents whoever; I have a job, a car, I protect what’s mine, I don’t do drugs, I want to write. I love most animals; I kill spiders, roaches, other creepy crawlers, I read, etc. None of that matters though to any and all, I might even have biology on my side, and just like any math class I just copy the problem over an over *sigh* I might not be great, worthy, right, or just, so be afraid, I Am A Man Remember.

“Mercy is the mark of a great man.

Guess I’m just a good man.

Well, I’m all right.” Shindig, Firefly

I Will Have No Fear