Lesson 292 ~Marquis De Sade, Works~

I wonder how long the works of Marquis de Sade were, and he wrote plenty more books than me along with them knowing publication regardless of content, I could work such infamy or just a good girl that wants to be naughty. Marquis De Sade, Works.

Thursday, April 19, 2018

Lesson 292 ~Marquis De Sade, Works~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Fine Today but never have I been as far gone as let’s say maybe Marquis de Sade, though you know I have taken on the name Marquis de Joker in some regions of my life. How often I find myself merging my ideas between you and the others but yes I have been writing out my fantasies in my novel “Temptations End” so yeah it’s probably good that it will never see the light of day I think.

I wish it were something like “120 Days of Sodom” but no my book is horrible in a different kind of way; as Marquis de Sade truly harnessed his gift, my work is more like a horny fanboy making his first porn. Now it is a fantasy to be one of those authors that can get ladies to spread their legs and struggle with holding their books as they finger themselves or play with their toys. Yeah, I’m no writer, and I’m no Fabio either as I put myself in all of my stories and I don’t only mean blood, sweat, and tears or even cum; I suppose I want to live what I imagine.

Only back to reality and I’m sure I’ve said this before, I want to spend my days writing and having some girl suck me off when I get plenty excited but speaking of which, what doesn’t excite me these days. Violence, death, and as always, sexy brunettes so yeah I’m going to miss The Walking Dead, already been working on my Pinterest boards of some of the ladies. Hell, my latest book is about a man that can have any woman he wants in the span of an apocalypse; did I only say my most recent book, third and not a dollar or a woman to be seen for it?

I’m sure Marquis de Sade wasn’t writing for a paycheck, he was revealing things about himself and his views on humanity which then begs the question since I’m not getting read period and I swore off “Fapping” at the moment, why do I continue? Maybe our next conversation should be about teasing or perhaps orgasm denial, more stuff to read up on I suppose right?

Maybe I shouldn’t be writing but instead living but that requires money and what am I doing for that, my day job what a joke even Marquis De Sade, Works.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 289 ~Going To Hell, Them First~

I’ve never pictured myself making it to Heaven and anybody that ticks me off certainly ain’t that righteous because if you get your rocks off torturing someone like me… anyway another story. Going To Hell, Them First as it should be ha

Monday, April 16, 2018

Lesson 289 ~Going To Hell, Them First~

Twenty-Eighth Rule Madam Justice

I Am Not Fine Today, it’s this hate, you know me Madam Justice, I don’t want to hurt anybody when I walk out the door, noted I’m always ready for a war with a few choice individuals but live and let live. So I go to the movies last night, just trying to order some snacks and these four women start pointing and laughing at me like I’m some big joke, nobody else just them.

That’s the problem, like with any disease you don’t want to do damage to what’s right and healthy but the virus, the bad only wishes to infect every single part of what is the best of us. I’m not Cancer Madam Justice, I know what you’re thinking, even though if I were one for reincarnation I would like to be a virus, a zombie sickness if I may be ever so specific. If anything I’m wounded and all I want to do is heal, but people like my boss, like those stupid women, that janitor, that bitch poke me, they won’t stop, they want to know. If you keep poking at a wound what happens, as Morgan would put it, “you know what it is” you know I’m sure right?

Still, I don’t die though everyone does, only you outlive your enemies, not friends… that is honestly going in my rules, but the thing is for a guy like me, hate cannot know such distance, not if I am going to be a part of this world. I hate my father and how many years has it been, I hate that girl, and it’s day two-hundred and eighty freaking nine and who knows if she’s given me a second thought. Again I don’t want to hurt anybody, so I suffer, and they live, but one of the reasons I continued to live and write is because one day I have faith I won’t be the only one here; I shouldn’t be the first at all.

If you told me I could let go of my hate and go to Heaven I could and in less than twenty-four hours it would find me again because that’s what people do, we hate, we instill hate. Another one of my rules states “Hate Will Keep You Alive,” and I don’t want to die. So I don’t suppose that I will see Hell for a long time, I’ve learned Going To Hell, Them First.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 286 ~A “Write” Man’s Job~

I know one word I should write over and over, but that word isn’t polite in present company, though to be honest how many times does it appear in novel… that’s not getting published for real. A Write Man’s Job.

Friday, April 13, 2018

Lesson 286 ~A “Write” Man’s Job~

“This is war! What did you expect, glamor! There are no good choices, only lesser degrees of evil.” The Price

Hey Lady Sophia,
I Am Not Fine Today, looking at things I probably shouldn’t write, is it just me or does that title sound a bit racial to you… if anything that is perhaps the least of my problems as of late. “99 Problems” and my story *sigh* is one, two, hell why not over half but the thing is, at least I’m doing, but then again why am I talking to you first instead of writing, no offense Sophia.

If it isn’t my writing, then it’s all the spoilers, The Walking Dead Finale is Sunday, and so is the start of Fear The Walking Dead and I’m scared for all the wrong reasons I suppose. Now that is something my writing can do, scare people because it’s certain no one will be waiting with bated breath for my work, especially the hot garbage I produced the other day. It’s 18,190 words detailing the life of one wasted human, and yet I write which should tell you something; what that I’m out of options because what else can I do, considering the day job sadly.

Just another bit of writing I’ve done, getting my books in order, I do mean the financial; I burned through my entire budget in less than a half-hour, and I have to pick-up my groceries at Walmart, still trying to save some tie. Speaking of time, what about all the books I am so far behind on, and my girls, the good news is they’re all busy doing but are any of them honestly living the life they want? “Cherry” would spend her life on her back and isn’t that my fictional story, just one big porno flick, maybe that’s why I don’t see more guys doing this, just saying.

I’m sure somebody thinks that the RIGHT man for a job is a woman and in that, I can agree here and there but that doesn’t mean I should stop writing now does it? If I do cease writing, I should stop writing excuses, apologies, words to tear myself down when the world will do that for me, like they haven’t already and isn’t that why I write?

All I have to do is bleed to write, but I’m not dead yet, almost like Morgan Jones “I don’t die” it is my curse to watch others because Lady Sophia this is A Write Man’s Job.

“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” ― from Ernest Hemingway

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 285 ~Calling In An Old-Fashioned~

Let’s hear it for the boy because at least if I’m clapping, that’s one more thing my hands could be doing, besides writing, or waving them around like I “just don’t care” and at the moment I don’t. Calling In An Old-Fashioned

Thursday, April 12, 2018

Lesson 285 ~Calling In An Old-Fashioned~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Fine Today; my hands have been plenty busy, on writing you pervert, oh that’s right maybe I forgot who I was talking to now, and I don’t know if this is going to be all types of sexy or what. It’s not my novel, again this would be more up Lady Sophia’s alley, and I was going to say ass but today is more about self-gratification or should I say a lack thereof, thirty-three days and still counting.

Sometimes even a quickie isn’t possible; men have their usual porn, you know I have “The Motherlode” seriously I miss that show “Secret Girlfriend” you should go watch if you haven’t. Do women keep one hand on their books and one on their toys; it is HARD work trying to type and pleasure oneself at the same damn time, but I’m behaving, yes a good boy for the most part. I’m not suggesting that there’s something wrong with masturbation just so you know, but then you ask me why I stopped, and I have more than enough reasons, one of them being the “thirst,” *sigh*.

My mother told me though, you don’t go to the grocery store when you’re hungry, which is accurate enough when it comes to food ready to go but a hunter who has to or needs to, without a doubt score a kill? On the other hand, I did not say that did I, like on this episode of “Solitary” those people think they were starving, but a small taste of something has them ready to explode. Is this my way of saying I need to stop “edging” with the porn, I might as well stop writing my novel then, don’t you think or find a woman as you are suggesting.

Since my hands have been pretty busy maybe this why I’m leaning towards a hand-job and those can happen anywhere; it’s even a fantasy of mine to be doing precisely this, to be writing and just having some ladylove beside me taking care of business. In the movies, in the library, yeah I don’t think I’m winning over any stores to be sure, and as for my writing who knows what would happen if I gave into temptation but no.

Just like one of my girls, I would like to watch so I would know entirely the magic these fingers could do because it ain’t writing but I was always better Calling In An Old-Fashioned.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 284 ~Do I Love Guns~

Honestly, I have talked more about having a family than ever owning a gun, but with how things are going these days… well, it seems I have the attention of the gun lovers, but preferring women, yeah I’m the bad guy. Do I Love Guns

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Lesson 284 ~Do I Love Guns~

“A good question – for another time.” ― Maz Kanata

Forgive Me Echo,
I Am Not Fine Today, and not only because I’m taking so long to talk to you or that I won’t speak about my unfortunate lack of a prom; just a novel and the Second Amendment got in the way. Making money and guns, what an excellent conservative I would make though according to Facebook I am moderate, which makes sense, still damn I was hoping to be a liberal but that might only be in some rock HARD areas if you know what I mean Inspector.

So what brought this on, I received a letter from the NRA wanting me to join up, as the Christians would say, not today Satan but funny how most of them are card-carrying members of the NRA, for a moment I was thinking identity theft when I opened the letter. Suppose Mark Zuckerberg owes me an apology, but then again I am an open book when it comes to everything except whatever title I’m currently writing which brings me to an excuse. It stinks, my novel, is complete utter garbage and before “Indiana Gone,” “Cherry,” or “Okay” tries to say something, let’s get it all out on the table, I hate my writing, so there.

Strangely enough, I don’t hate the right to bear arms, don’t get me wrong Inspector Echo, there need to be some strict ass gun laws. I know plenty of people that shouldn’t have them; could throw myself into the mix but I want an assault rifle at some point, a pistol. Damn let me hold the button for a minute and you know I’m not a violent person; who have I hurt, we live in the real world, and with the way things are going, I might need some protection I should think. Another reason people shouldn’t read my book, if you compare my fiction to me, hell I shouldn’t be permitted to hold a gun, let alone a pen or a keyboard but lucky for me the NRA I think are total gun nuts.

While I despise most people, the NRA that protects guns more than children for example, what does this say about me, if you checked out my NEW Pinterest boards there aren’t many guns, but pillows, puppies, whatever we’re naming them this week are plenty? I guess that makes me a bad guy but a bunch of weapons I can keep in the closet… I am sorry that makes me such and such a person so to answer… yes I do love guns, but sorry I won’t be joining the NRA, but since my writing stinks, who knows if they’ll see this, still sorry not sorry.

For the #MeToo movement um, something, something, sorry I don’t respect women as much as you think I should, though I think I’m a sweetheart mostly but in the end how Do I Love Guns.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 282 ~Twenty Seconds Of Insane Courage~

What is a second of courage, an idea, a step, eye contact, a few more seconds, one foot in front of the other, and still there are more and am I facing oblivion yet, five minutes, an hour, what is twenty seconds that? Twenty Seconds Of Insane Courage

Monday, April 9, 2018

Lesson 282 ~Twenty Seconds Of Insane Courage~

Twenty-Seventh Rule Madam Justice

I Am Not Fine Today, how can I be; I’ve always had this sneaking suspicion that the world will come to an end any second, so I’m forever trying to survive until the next five minutes. If I make it give five more, anyone who knows me can say I am a stickler for time unless I feel that whatever it is no longer matters, e.g., my day job, once upon a time I would show up fifteen minutes early.

Sometimes Madam Justice I can easily blame my OCD, but for the most part, it’s fear because when it comes to something like “women” as the song goes “Can We Talk.” Hell, I’m not asking for fifteen, five, hell I’m not asking for even a minute, all I need is twenty seconds, that’s the hard part. What can a man do in twenty seconds, I know women who would have some interesting answers, but men can destroy the world, or you can save a life, you can give love “If Only For One Night” and some might even offer forever.

Honestly Madam Justice I have yet to decide what type of man I will be even at my age, but unfortunately, I have yet to be a brave one, though people have seen different sides of me. Here’s the thing though, let’s reread the rule, I am focusing on “courage” when I should relish on “insane,” and that is something that most will not deny about me, this is something I utterly believe above all else. So if I can get the time right and feel what others think to be insane, as in I have great courage, what is stopping me, there is nothing.

I mean come on just today I have wasted over three hours of my life on something I believe has no value according to me… I am starting to sound like “Cherry” no matter how many times you tell her something she won’t understand. Maybe that’s the trick, thinking I’m insane when it might be the rest of the world, and I’m normal, sort of like that story that the girl told in Veronika Decides to Die: A Novel of Redemption, see how crazy I am becoming these days Justice.

I could be crazy enough to tell you why I didn’t go to prom, well more a story for Inspector Echo am I right? Anyway sometimes I think I see the bigger picture, and other times I only want to live the next few minutes well, sort of like “The 13th Warrior” but most of all I want to be the man I know I can be if I show Twenty Seconds Of Insane Courage.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 278 ~Something Beautiful To Spare~

Destroying all that’s beautiful seems a messed up lot in life, which is why some take so much for themselves and the rest of us, a diamond in the rough, a lily amongst the thorns, “loving can hurt sometimes.” “Something Beautiful To Spare.”

Thursday, March 29, 2018

Lesson 278 ~Something Beautiful To Spare~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Fine Today, but I can see everything now, for I have never been one for beer goggles, and I’m out of anything that gets me high, but I will accept I’m superficial, okay let’s say downright shallow. My drug of choice is sex, but I need the premium, the highest quality, I need that rush; some will say a life’s worth of porn will do that, but I prefer more than “The Missionary Position,” something inside me always has demanded more, awe-inspiring dominance.

I’ve been thinking about “Slaves To Passion” a lot lately and how Kaoru begins to use his former master’s wife and daughter to create art and after a great “sacrifice” he creates a grand work of art but then has to go home to his sexually frustrating wife. He loves her, but he cannot dare to do a quarter of the things he did to other women, he tries, and it doesn’t work for either of them sadly. I also mentioned yesterday “The Screwfly Solution” where sexual longing becomes transformed into a violent rage, where a man would take a woman to his bed instead well, don’t be beautiful ever.

My point is women I don’t find attractive could be lucky or unlucky, the reason this is unfortunate is that I want nothing more than to end it quickly, to fight, to be mad, but fortunate because I don’t drag it out, at least not with them. When a beautiful woman gets me riled up though, that anger, rage, that fire, becomes ravishing and that is what I dream… what to be beautiful, instead to “unleash the beast” but not precisely in a Purge sort of way. An enemy has but one purpose, to know destruction but a rose that cuts you, a puppy that bites you, a story that warps you can be pruned and grown, should know to submit and must be trained, can be polished and made into a masterpiece, the master himself is better as well.

I am the monster Dirty Diana, but the Beast sought to hurt those who threatened Belle, but he did not “eat” Belle, he locked her in his castle, commanded her, but during gave her a library and a wardrobe, he cared for her. He may have frightened her; he may hurt her as a man because this is what men do. Only by the beauty, she carried inside, and yes she was sexy outside. He knew healing; the beast was made handsome, he changes dramatically.

An ugly woman outside is one thing, ugly inside, I can hate but I take no pleasure, beautiful within *sigh* is my loss, but give me a woman beautiful both inside and out; I only ask Something Beautiful To Spare.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 271 ~Are You Positive K~

What’s your man got to do with me or what’s your lack of a man got to do with me, only if they are all out of f*s to give, well suddenly I can’t find the time, compliments, or cash, that’s not bitterness just fact. “Are You Positive K”

Thursday, March 29, 2018

Lesson 271 ~Are You Positive K~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Fine Today, but that’s like saying I’m not Superman today, better I’m not Black Panther either, no I’m afraid, I’m usually the villain, but even they get the girls, e.g., Killmonger. Yesterday was all about sin, you can talk to Inspector Echo about that but funny how this didn’t come up as a crime, a humiliation, dare I suggest that I’m a cuckold?

Perish the thought Diana, I’m somewhere in the middle of let’s say Cyrano de Bergerac and Positive K “I Got A Man” in case you were wondering, so you know what that makes me; they call me the nice guy. These days I’m stuck between keeping my word and being an idiot, how many times have I talked about being the ‘gay best friend’ I’ve gone from writing pretty words to buying pretty clothes, not for me of course. I know this ‘potential’ submissive who made it a point to tell me she was wearing something I bought her for her man and that she was going to send pictures… yeah scary I had faith.

What about “Cherry” I’ve been talking to lately, she told me she wants to spend her days on her back but yeah I’m not good enough for her, but every day I have to call her and others beautiful and why, because I’m the stupid nice guy. Now what makes me a “bad man” either one, I’m trying to steal them away, I mean when you’re buying underwear for a girl that isn’t yours… if somebody did that to one of my girls, I’d kick his ass yeah. Two the fact that I’m a voyeur; if I can’t have the girl I don’t mind hearing about it, getting the naughty pictures or the lack thereof, again playing Cyrano watching the girl he loves getting fucked by the guy she wants.

“The willingness to walk away, above all other factors, does more to tell a woman of your high value than any amount of money can. You must be prepared to follow through and to fully believe that you’ll never see or hear from her again, because women instinctively know when you’re faking.”
― Roosh V, Bang: The Pickup Bible That Helps You Get More Lays

You know this honestly explains some of my fetishes besides voyeurism, for example, cosplay, dressing a girl up since she would rather pretend, exhibitionism, to be seen and desired by many, and the whole gangbang scenario though I’m not one to share. Last night though was a step in the right direction; when I stopped calling Cherry beautiful and sexy, and the pictures just flowed, she doesn’t even have a man but when I’m not all sweet on her well…

Anyway, I will continue to keep my word but if a girl’s in a relationship, yes even a terrible one Dirty Diana, or she doesn’t want me should I want her… the answer must be no, Are You Positive K.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 265 ~The Keyword Is Working~

Turn her or in this case them, into literature; I’m always writing about the ladies or to the ladies, and my latest story is headed in that direction too but is that what it takes to get me to write? The Keyword Is Working, writing, doing.

Friday, March 23, 2018

Lesson 265 ~The Keyword Is Working~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I Am Not Fine Today is something I can’t say at my day job of course but speaking of things I can’t utter or do at one position, how about talking about my career as a budding writer; yeah I’m still in the dirt. My next story is going to be plenty dirty as well, not that I have anything to worry about like people seeing it but consider this a business lunch Lady Sophia, another one of those six impossible things.

What I mean is I’m thinking about the story I’m going to write for Camp NaNoWriMo in April, hell I made it in November, and that’s another novel I should be thinking about come this year but one step at a time. Why do I feel the need to put myself in all of my stories and if I’m going to be in a story how about some nonfiction, besides this, “March For Our Lives” is tomorrow and I could take part but the best thing I got going is a trip to Starbucks. I’m still pining away for a love story that starts in a coffeehouse but who wants to say they met someone in a strip club honestly.

Anyway, onto the facts, the current idea running through my head is about a hitman who makes his targets sin, so he has a valid excuse to kill them; oh, and should I mention his victims are female. Don’t ask me where the idea came from though it does bring to mind a song here or there “T.N.T” from AC/DC, “Move Bitch” from Ludacris feat. I-20, Mystikal, and “Butcher Pete” from Roy Brown. Don’t worry I’m not going to spoil it for you Lady Sophia or myself for that matter. One because I’m not sure where I’m going with it yet and two I feel I have spoiled myself enough, avoiding Pacific Rim: Uprising and Unsane spoilers but diving headfirst into The Walking Dead, what was I thinking my Lady.

As far as ladies for my current project; I feel like Ethan Cole from “The Director” by Lily White. So ladies, Fiona Belli from “Haunting Ground” and Ashley Graham “Resident Evil,” Haley Pullos, Claire Abbott, along with Christina Lucci (Model), I might add some more. I know I do not sound original, being honest… at least I didn’t say zombies but now when I think about it; no I’m working seriously The Keyword Is Working.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 264 ~My Love Is Blind~

As the song goes, “I want to f*** you like I’m never gonna see you again,” but maybe she hasn’t noticed me, the real me, my pretty words, replaced with dirty urges and so I’m not much to look at or listen to I think. My Love Is Blind if this is love.

Thursday, March 22, 2018

Lesson 264 ~My Love Is Blind~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Fine Today, and no there aren’t any body issues… okay, maybe a few as I still avoid mirrors but that’s more of an emotional thing than physical, though I did say yuck in a Walmart dressing room. Anyway, my lesson for today is that you can’t avoid all mirrors, namely the eyes of a woman to be honest.

Now they say love is blind true enough, but it starts with attraction because without that how can you move forward, even the internet is like that, could you imagine people falling in love sight unseen? Dirty Diana this is getting to be a bit more emotional when I meant it to be physical; so yes in the everyday world people like to think they see all, but in the bedroom, well there are handy ways around that. Personally, I like to watch a girl’s eyes, even men want to feel desirable, but I can’t see that happening in my foreseeable future, but okay let’s say I get lucky soon.

There are reasons for a blindfold; again I’m having a bit of trouble between my emotions and my desires (one of my six impossible things), but I’ve been thinking about Beauty & the Beast, not the fairytale though I have some Belle outfits for a potential submissive. I mean Skye Warren’s take on how even when Erin and Blake were together, how he didn’t want her to see him; it reminds me a bit of Cyrano de Bergerac and how his words got another man laid. No fucks given, yeah because I gave all my pretty words to other guys so they could bed girls and here I am, alone again naturally, the song plays.

So why would I want to blindfold a woman; I’m sure I told you before about my tentacle fetish and the idea of using several dildos along with my cock to simulate a rough gangbang, now wouldn’t that be something. How about “Revenge of the Nerds” Lewis and Betty, now in that Lewis was wearing and mask, but Betty was blind to who he was, didn’t this technically count as rape seeing as how they fucked but she didn’t know and if she had maybe…

I could go darker you know me; Dirty Diana, my fantasies are better left in the darkness but the girl I love one day she’ll understand… My Love Is Blind.