Log 275 ~Words Will Be Infectious~

I’m sick, and no, not with “the beverage” as Tony Baler puts it, I’m sick of words, Grammarly, my novella’s, what the Day Job has to say, “indefinitely.” Now I have all the time in the world to write. Words Will Be Infectious

Wednesday, April 01, 2020

Log 275 ~Words Will Be Infectious~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which would mean I am a ghost. Now I’m not considering that I’ll die, and all my work will make my Dæmon, my Olds, and little sister wealthy. You know how I plan to make my money, and people won’t be paying to see me ever. I want to be Dennis Hof, but even now, I doubt I could ever be that open. The good news is you can’t with the Coronavirus (COVID-19) going around. Okay, so the bad news is I have more time to work on editing my novella, The Eve of a Cherry.

You’re saying, “Hol’ Up A Minute!” isn’t this Lady Sophia’s wheelhouse? One of these days, I’ll tell her the story of Pontypool Changes Everything. Anyway, I want to talk about, well, let’s start with “swear words.” Long story short, I think they are crass, but every word has its time and place. So that gets me back into why it takes me a while to talk to you, Inspector Echo. As I said, I’ve been working on The Eve of a Cherry, and do you want to know what I think about it? See, I don’t even want to put that out into the world. Okay, so with things I don’t want to put out into the world, texts, and emails from work. I won’t lie, and so the sin apparent is, I’m afraid to check. How often have I said I hate the Day Job? You know it’s needed.

I talked about being a Beta Reader once upon a time. For right now it’s directions, I don’t know if I’m just “me” or people are bad at giving them. Still, I listen, I’ve screwed up no less than three times today. If it’s not other people, I can’t follow the instructions I give myself. Didn’t I say I would wake up on time, shouldn’t I have gone to the store. Even this second, I should be reading but worrying about the Day Job. See now would be an excellent time to swear, but I’m still practicing self-censorship. Yeah, watch me share my novella with Cherry, and I’ll get arrested. I’m not worried about the Coronavirus, to be honest, but more so how the story will know remembrance one day.

It’s not the people or Dæmon, only the words, I’m Sorry; Words Will Be Infectious.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 267 ~Will It Be Easier~

I heard in a movie a man only needs someone to love, a dreamy thought, but I’m still greedy and a bit of a control freak, and am I strange that I figured the end of the world would be different, so this isn’t it. Will It Be Easier

Tuesday, March 24, 2020

Log 267 ~Will It Be Easier~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I’m no hero. In times such as these, there are no capes, but I see the truck drivers. People are working in retail. I still lament my local history for the record shudders. My Love, there are doctors. It’s only day two of us being in, well besides to let all the kids out. We’ve seen the restaurants, though. I’m sure the farmers are still at it. The garbagemen are working, and do we have neighbors? There are helpers all around us, but as always, I want so much more.

I thank them all but why couldn’t I have met you sooner. I’ll admit I haven’t read much these days, but I remember. If The Hunger Games, Divergent, Article 5 have taught me anything. There is always a 17-year-old girl, waiting to save us. Ask me again, why are daughters got named Katniss, Tris, and Ember? Hoping they take after you, baby doll. At the same time, a man like me dates way out of his league. You’re the Maggie to my Glenn, the Red to my 10K, my Alicia Clark. I’m Christian Grey enough to admit I have a thing for brunettes. Still, I only have eyes for you, and maybe that’s why the world doesn’t look so bleak. Why there is no place that I would rather be than home. There’s a method to my madness, my anxiety wanting everything under our roof.

It’s also easier to write about things other than the end of the world. I don’t think this is strange enough. Yet, most of my stories involve a man locked in with a bunch of beautiful women. I didn’t see my wife and kids being in the cards but call it karma. So about the question, will it be easier? Besides Indiana Gone, you’re the only woman that knows about how serious I take The Walking Dead. What about Fear TWD, Z Nation, Contagion, Containment, pretty much anything George Romero? I guess I’m also thinking about Jericho, with people arming up, but like I said two days of isolation so far. SIGH, would it be easier escaping all the voices, would the words I love you be enough? Again I’m greedy. I want to share with Indiana Gone, her hubby, and kids, all our friends.

With so much love, baby girl, Will It Be Easier?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 265 ~The Closed On Will~

The new rules, schedule changes, closed down signs, so much “original” writing, so what about some of my own but how late is it, and I’m sure that someone is moving the hands of the doomsday clock but still. The Closed On Will, I should be more open?

Sunday, March 22, 2020

Log 265 ~The Closed On Will~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, so will you be getting a bigger check, a smaller one, or none at all. Let me say this if it does happen, and that’s a hell of a big IF, don’t spend it all in one place. Of course, you know what I’m talking about right. One problem with time-travel. It’s (Friday), and I could have to change everything about this, sigh more writing. I am proud of you today, considering you finished two chapters of the novella and more. While the Day Job is not operating, why not close off all your excuses, fears, and dare I say the erotica?

Don’t close your eyes yet, there is still work to do, but I doubt it will be 5000 words, what time is it again? At least you didn’t take a nap today, and of course, you know why that is right? The dang humming and there was once all the time in the world. Now you’re looking at the big clock. Keep your eyes open for the things you need to survive. You should be proud of me, seeing as how I found bottled water and toilet paper? Yeah, I still don’t get it either, but you could figure it out, gives you something to do, of course. Now speaking of toilet paper, you should probably close your mind off to what people are saying. Anyone who says, believe me, trust me, let me be honest is usually lying their butt off. One more reason you don’t talk to the Olds anymore and especially during this time of plague. Survival is possible, but here we go again. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 008 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Writing A Backstory For Earth Erotic’s Sales Merchandise
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Writing My Latest Novella
    Failed

As of this moment, I’m looking at 2 out of 6. Cherry, once upon a time, was on me about my writing, and Earth Erotic accepted my first “story.” I took a chance and sent two chapters of my novella, and I haven’t heard from them in days. Okay, so that could be because of the Coronavirus (COVID-19). Mostly everybody is on lockdown, and I hope I’m not sick and don’t you get sick either. You have the rest of this month, well a week to change things for the better. Don’t be closed off to it, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 008 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Not Receiving Any Warnings From Norton About Security
  6. I AM Finishing Writing My Latest Novella

Once thinking every day, it was, “five minutes and the world is going to end.” Know The Closed On Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 264 ~Will You Be Scared~

Last week I said I’m not sleepy, but sure I am exhausted tonight, but I wrote 400 words for my novella; yep when I would once write full chapters, but I got two weeks to make up for it, but what about the end of the world? Will You Be Scared hmm

Saturday, March 21, 2020

Log 264 ~Will You Be Scared~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and rich people are the biggest scaredy-cats. When it happens to me, Lady Lu, not if, but when; well must I sing. “No, I won’t be afraid, Oh, I won’t be afraid,” what do you think? I’m finding it hard to be fearful today (Thursday). The Day Job is closing up shop for two weeks because of the Coronavirus (COVID-19). No more excuses right, two weeks to write, to become a better man, a worthy father, etc. Staying like this, spooky.

As The Walking Dead says Fight The Dead Fear The Living, so I have plenty.

No Lady Lu, the streets aren’t flooded with Walkers, for now. Let’s start with when I came back to the house today. I began working on my novella. You want to know what scares me about that. I nearly exploded in my pants, and I still have doubts about my writing. Shouldn’t I fear that all the rest of the stores are closing up? Again today, I’m not eating. I still have food, of course, but it’s as if I have no time. It’s one of the reasons I’m talking to you last, no offense Lady Lu. I know I wouldn’t go to bed before our chat. What about reading The Gargoyle? I felt the temptation to listen to it on Audible. Instead, I started, Prisoner by Annika Martin and Skye Warren. Am I scared that I’ll start procrastinating as I did with Dark Notes? Speaking of listening, I haven’t mentioned the humming that much.

What if I never have a quiet moment in this house again. I have at least half a dozen projects in this place, and still, I want my money. Yeah, and what am I trying to spend money on again, as always. I’m not worried about toilet paper or water. There was a moment yesterday; I felt like The Postman (1997). ‘Things are getting better, getting better all the time.” I found bottled water and generic TP and thought okay, not so bad. Only everyone is telling me the world is ending and what do I say to that. I’m not scared, but I’m not ready, but I instead face the dark days than a “good” day at work. My life is nothing to write about, but here we are.

At the moment, like yesterday, I’m tired, but 400 words richer; Will You Be Scared.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 260 ~It’s Called Love Will~

The good news I’m not binging on toilet paper, I got enough for me, ha. While my kid, well, he has his puppy pads and grass, but the bad news isn’t I have come down with the love bug of a romantic sort. It’s Called Love Will.

Tuesday, March 17, 2020

Log 260 ~It’s Called Love Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, that’s something I won’t keep a secret. Neither is the fact that I hate my father. My Love, I’ve said before as Meat Loaf sang, I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that. What, reconcile with my father, give away my firstborn, give up on my dreams? Anyway, as much as I despise him, and the fact that he abused my mom, cheated on her, and other things.

The thing is when she’s hurt or sick; he’s been there, always. I want to do the same, I will, babydoll. Let me be the Francesco to your Graziana if you’ll have me, My Love.

You can thank The Gargoyle for that reference. It’s a coincidence that I’m reading a story set during the Black Death while we live in the Plague Era. One more reason to make money before we’re all trapped inside. Of course, you know me so well, for me it’s paradise. Now I’m not sick with the Coronavirus (COVID-19), but I’m no fun when I’m out for the count. You’ll tell me it can’t be healthy to watch movies like Contagion, Daybreak, and Maggie. I’ll binge on The Walking Dead and Containment. How will you ever cope? I’ve talked about how love is often akin to dying. I don’t talk enough; you take my breath away. My knees get weak; my heart skips a beat, I’m falling for you, all over again. Don’t even get me started on calling you an angel, and here I want to go to heaven now.

I can’t say I know what to do when you get sick. Like my father, I sat with my mom, but that’s all I knew. There’s a friend of mine. Now when she had “women issues,” I bought her a ton of chocolate, gave her a blanket, and we watched movies. When it was My Dæmon, I stayed up all night, cradling him and reading something more “family-friendly.” I can tell you; I’ll be right here with you. One thing with me being such a baby, nothing phases me but to see you in pain or sick? A conversation for another time when it comes to the pain, but I did cringe when my son cried out because of a tick in his ear. I don’t know what terror awaits us, dear zombie apocalypse partner.

Together, It’s Called Love Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 259 ~Words Chosen Carefully Are Best~

Well, perhaps my greatest weapon is silence. People think I’m STUPID when most days it’s how not to go to jail and then I come here and what do I say, here you go officer Exhibit A and lying? “Words Chosen Carefully Are Best”

Monday, March 16, 2020

Log 259 ~Words Chosen Carefully Are Best~

Hundred And Twenty-Eighth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but rich people trust everyone else to be STUPID. My apologies for using that word again and for thinking it ever. The truth though Madam Justice, well what is right or fact. I want to talk about my words, but then the question is, who am I?

How I like to think I pick my words for a purpose, but over the past few days, it has only been a jumble. For some time now, I look at my words like I’ll be played out to Exit Music (For A Film), my “dang” fingers and dirty mind.

Let’s start there with my trying not to swear. Don’t get me wrong; there will be a time and place for it, Madam Justice. I’ve heard people talk about foul language as a sign of high intelligence. I still find it crass and tacky unless in the right context or you’re a hot Irish girl, thank you, Katie O’Shaughnessy. Speaking of women, I see myself talking one of three ways, one as “Beggin.” The second is logical; I got money, and what do I spend that money on, WOMEN. Third, a man should be a man. I’m a Dominant for God’s sake. Only how many times have I got in trouble for being direct, forward, aggressive, dangerous? The internet seems to think so too, can I look up anything that can’t find it’s way into sex? Today (Saturday Morning), I had to write down exactly what I was doing to keep focus. I would say I should make a grocery list, but yeah, the store.

What’s the word they’re using now, um Pandemic. I talk about it being the Plague Era, and I’m not afraid. Well, I’m still joking, but I haven’t ever seen Walmart like that. I continue to use the word “excited” because I am, I built worlds off of an apocalypse. Someone could discover Audible from my stories someday, I wonder. Don’t get me wrong; I still like Audible, but it’s hard sometimes because I get so caught up in the story. Yeah, it’s pretty strange, huh I can’t keep it in my pants, I’m still hearing Rainey moaning away “Daddy.” Last is my son, who can say what he wants and knows I’ll always listen close. Three words, I Love You otherwise I’d never know them. What else can I say? Words Chosen Carefully Are Best.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 258 ~Don’t Scare Me, Will~

Make them remember what fear tastes like, I’m sure I heard that in a movie somewhere. So how does fear taste, soggy popcorn, more McDonald’s, that breath listening to Dark Notes? Don’t Scare Me, Will.

Sunday, March 15, 2020

Log 258 ~Don’t Scare Me, Will~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but will you be as scared as the rest of the 1%? The good news is I won’t be afraid for much longer (Friday). No, I don’t mean to sound morbid, I’m not suicidal. Well, tell that to McDonald’s and Regal Cinema. What I mean is, as always, this is about to be your problem. I got you here, and I can only hope you do better. How so, well as the song goes, “Be Not So Fearful.” Yeah, good luck, right?

Now, if we talked about everything you fear, well, would it end? So here I am making up new ones like getting the Coronavirus (COVID-19). You would have to deal with it, but I’m a warrior, and soon you will be, no doubt. Why have such an idea, could it be the soggy bag of popcorn at Regal, while I watched The Hunt? I had to stop eating it, and besides the lousy food, I’m not as smart as I believe. Was the movie that goofy and am I so petty that I want to complain. Should I complain about McDonald’s too? Not their fault, I’m always eating there. If anything, I should go shopping, with the way things are going these days. Best case scenario, I’ll give you something to work with but let’s hope it won’t be the same ole Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Making The Bed Every Morning No Matter What
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Writing My Latest Novella
    Failed

At least I’m making the bed because when I climb in I get, STUPID. I know that’s such an ugly word, but aren’t all of these that I continue to sputter, week after week. I’m afraid it will remain this way forever. Speaking of which My Dæmon. He has his age and his heart, and even with medication, I saw him coughing. Notice I never say I’m the greatest father, but he takes his meds every day. He got to stay in my room all day today; he sleeps on the bed. My Firstborn got his walk, but it’s not enough, I fear. I’m a father, but I’m also a man, and why can’t I keep it in my pants? To leave you with some hope, I present an opportunity. While I was “researching” Earth Erotic, I noticed they give backstories. “Merchandise” needs it. Something new for Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Writing A Backstory For Earth Erotic’s Sales Merchandise
  6. I AM Finishing Writing My Latest Novella

Keep making the bed, but with these hands, stuff and thangs Don’t Scare Me, Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 252 ~Heart Hurts More Than Body~

My Ma would tell me to go easy with all the seasoning salt. I’ve got quite a long history with women, plus I have my furry kid, I haven’t had a heart attack yet, but I know all about broken hearts. Heart Hurts More Than Body.

Monday, March 9, 2020

Log 252 ~Heart Hurts More Than Body~

Hundred And Twenty-Seventh Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, if only because I refuse to see a doctor. Not because I’m afraid. Indeed in this time of plague with the Coronavirus (COVID-19), I’m excited. Now I know that doesn’t sound right, and it shouldn’t, not until there are zombies. Okay, I’ll stop, I know I’m not funny. I’ve never laughed so much until it hurts. Madam Justice, I’m not one for self-harm. Fists at drywall, STUPID things while people watch. Giving into FAPPING (it’s Saturday). Anyway, my body takes a lot, but what about my heart?

Most recently, what I said about Cherry and I don’t mean my novella. I speak my heart to you and the others Madam Justice. No secrets, but you and I both know that’s a lie. If I told you everything, then we would see the end, and that’s how you know I’m not suicidal. Still, it happens the same way; I try to talk to one girl, I speak innocence to another, I don’t tell one more and wham. I’m having a “Harriet the Spy” moment because it’s like they weren’t supposed to see that. I put my heart out here so the body can keep going. The thing is nobody wants my heart. I think that’s why I’ve been down as of late. If I don’t write out how I am, the body keeps it in, and I “mess” up, horny, hatred, heartfelt, whatever.

Women though SIGH, let’s talk about something else that hurts my heart, My Dæmon. My little boy is getting older; he’s bumping into walls, avoiding his walks on cold days, sleeping more. Then again, I’m in bed, and he only wants to be near his Dad. I’m still not working on my stories, and I miss them—what a waste of the day. Somebody took my shift at the Day Job and how did I spend it, Madam Justice, lying here looking at the usual. Even my FEAR of my father doesn’t have me doing anything. Okay, so hurting my friends or them getting hurt, Indiana Gone told me she got punched in the face. My little boy and my writing, what more do I love in this world. The man in the mirror that is such a waste that it hurts to witness myself.

Only the body doesn’t quit, fingers, eyes, ears, dang humming, Heart Hurts More Than Body.

I Will Have No Fear