Tag: Future

Log 175 ~Watching, Waiting, Hoping, Just Move~

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Run boy run, as the song goes, running’s a victory because even then I’m getting somewhere and if you ask me where I’m going, well tomorrow is Christmas Eve after all and while I imagine roaring fires? “Watching, Waiting, Hoping, Just Move”

Monday, December 23, 2019

Log 175 ~Watching, Waiting, Hoping, Just Move~

Hundred And Sixteenth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I don’t follow the money. The truth is I follow my purpose as my motivations point out. One more early day, another mention of Far Cry 5. I beat the first “level” last night. Holland Valley Region Liberated, meaning I can finally take a breather. Isn’t that the problem, breathing is never enough for me, and at the same time, it takes so much to do so. I mentioned motivation, and I read, you must be careful how you talk to yourself. That your body doesn’t know the difference, positive, negative.

What you say and do matters, and is that why I choose neither. The effort gets to be too much sometimes. Another one of those self-help titles talks about you only need to feel good. When I wake up like this, the truth is I’m exhausted, but I’m super after the conversation. It doesn’t matter if I have to take a shower or I get to go back to bed. I’m moving forward, Madam Justice. Whether it be words, women, or warfare, and then I have to wonder where I’m going. Here’s another question, am I being dragged, am I all Do or Do Not, am I digging holes? Each footstep digging a grave? I don’t mean to sound morbid, again, careful how I speak about myself. At this time of the year, shouldn’t I be happier, one of those dirty words right, Madam Justice?

I’m trying Madam Justice; I’m even reading another Christmas story. Snow Angel by Minx, that’s as festive as I’m going to get. One more thing, every little step I take, as the song goes, I’m told is wrong. People demand I grow up but don’t look to the stars. I was about to mention slugs, but again, language. Do you remember when I would call myself out for that when I was cursing? Should I say I have more in common with Reginald Barclay or Vincent Anton Freeman? Despite being easily forgotten or their failures, and many fears they kept going. Living in the darkness Madam Justice, if you’re moving, there is no wrong direction. It’s why like those XBOX commercials, I ask, do I step, or do I leap? Why do we fall? How about why I have no throne here as of yet?

I’ve got no time, Will’s Watching, Waiting, Hoping, Just Move.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 168 ~Want It, Work “Freaking” Harder~

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I wonder, is my Mom be proud of me? My Day Job is nothing and how I wish to earn my bread well; in either case, I never feel like I’m working hard enough and she’s not getting any younger. Want It, Work “Freaking” Harder Will. Happy Birthday Mom

Monday, December 16, 2019

Log 168 ~Want It, Work “Freaking” Harder~

Hundred And Fifteenth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or I should be, I know. Okay, before I begin, ha, I want to say Happy Birthday to my mom. If she ever read this blog well, better not to wish that at all. She doesn’t want to see the “man” her son has become. I’m not Martin Luther King Jr by any means, but I Have A Dream. Well, I did last night, which is quite easy to interpret. One more reason to laugh, I was going on a date with Sabrina Nichole and some other girl. Sabrina was “tethered” to me, and I was embarrassed, so I unhooked her, letting her run into the green.

It was a green mountain Madam Justice, thick and luscious. I don’t know about the other woman, but I kept my eyes on the prize of Sabrina. She was traveling through and made it to the top with ease. She is waiting for me and ain’t I the funny one today. Anyway I get stuck in the green, I’m not moving at all, I can’t climb up. I can’t resist, right myself to stand or even rest. This morning I’m still exhausted, but I got up a lot easier Madam Justice. Okay, what is the point of the dream, Higher, Further, Faster baby. You know what I can say about women but still “Family-Friendly.” I even changed the rule ever so slightly, but yeah, the truth is the truth. I could also quote Scarface to tell you what my dream means, but I’m not dreaming.

“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.”

I will admit yesterday was a setback, and I didn’t even have the heart to keep fighting for what I wanted. Madam Justice, I barely watch wrestling when it’s on TV, so why try stealing it by looking for streams. I could always pay, publish, or perchance do something else constructive, like reading. Playing works too as I advanced in Far Cry 5 last night. I finished The Widomaker and Valley Armed Convoy missions. Back to the point of today, though, to quote another movie. “If you want to be somebody, if you want to go somewhere, you better wake up and pay attention.” Here I am Madam Justice, way before “Waking Up at 4:00 AM Every Day Will Change Your Life” I want it.

Rhyme or Crime, Fire and Desire, as the kids say, we want the smoke so, Want It, Work “Freaking” Harder.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 161 ~Be A Man Of Action~

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Something that both heroes and villains have in common; they both take action, and while I want to say I’m 49% to 51% if anything as the song goes, I’m only a man a good one, a bad one, maybe alright but lights, camera. Be A Man Of Action, Will.

Monday, December 9, 2019

Log 161 ~Be A Man Of Action~

Hundred And Fourteenth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and if this morning is any sign, a man of action. Let’s start with the Six Impossible Things. Sad to say, I’ve already failed at #2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves. Numbers 1, 5, and 6 I’m handling. #4 is doable, and #3 well, there is a reason I use the word Impossible. Look at the time though, think of the day that lies before me, the choice I made only moments before. Begin each day with gratitude, isn’t that right? I’m grateful I woke up, for my weird dreams, and Far Cry 5.

Yeah, if there is any action I take on the regular, it’s complaining. I’m on the Easy setting and still, almost got killed. How much time did I spend learning the controls? My Motion Sickness was a smidge better. Now, didn’t I say something about weird dreams? I don’t want to sound like the President or offend any veterans. Last night/this morning, I was dreaming about Vietnam? Here’s the offensive part, that’s how I view my life. For right now at least I’ve volunteered, I don’t know whether it’s right or wrong. If anything, I only “want” to serve. By the end of the day, without a doubt, I’m going to be in some “less optimal” state. I won’t be the same man that’s talking to you right now, Madam Justice, that’s for sure. How did Jada Cato put it? “It all went downhill after I put my pants on.”

Again gratitude, here and now I’m doing something I enjoy even if I’m tired. At this rate, I could knock out two of my Six Impossible Things before the day is over. I’ll continue working hard for my son, and I’ll get some more tips to play the game tonight. These all need to become habits instead of falling for whatever joke the pillow wants to tell. If I stay busy, I don’t have time to worry, or that’s something I learned from Dale Carnegie. Get busy living and all the rest from The Shawshank Redemption. Didn’t the movie “Young Einstein” talk about being a man of action? Of course, I can’t forget King Ezekiel from TWD. There might be something to my love of movies and the zombie genre.

Media, swimming, run boy run, Be A Man Of Action.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 154 ~Heroes Die Or Must Watch~

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Last week I talked about being hurt, you know who gets a lot of that, heroes unless you’re Superman maybe and at this stage in the game I’m far more Marvel than DC, that’s the truth, but I’m also no hero. Heroes Die Or Must Watch.

Monday, December 2, 2019

Log 154 ~Heroes Die Or Must Watch~

Hundred And Thirteenth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I’m no hero. Well, sure, I walked my Dæmon around a pretty big dog today. I might have stopped following people on Twitter because I want to be a better man. So what I had a big lunch today and I’m fighting off sleep. Madam Justice, I wouldn’t mind being the hero, but I’m not. Wasn’t I telling Cherry the other day about Climate Change and how people should worry and be fearful? What am I doing to save the Earth? How about a friend who’s hurting? I wouldn’t help merely out of the kindness of my heart, sad to say?

As one rule goes, Heroes Die. If that’s the case, I want to live. Yes, I heard what I said, and to be clear, I’m not a doctor either. I should stop talking about my ear before I end up like Left Ear from The Italian Job. We’ll get back to my love of movies later. One more thing I’m thinking about is charity. I’m sure you’ve heard me say it before, but I only give to animals and NaNoWriMo. Madam Justice, I will never understand why the least amongst us are always asked to pay. There are people with billions that don’t even pay taxes. One day I will stop repeating myself, but I told you before my aunt said I wanted to destroy the world. Why would I do anything like that, there’s no profit in that undertaking. I’m also not Ozymandias; Talk about a hero to villain.

Okay, so movies, name one where the world became a utopia? Heroes fight, but they will be fighting forever, leaving wars to their children. You know, depending on the circumstances, I can watch pain. I read the His Dark Materials series, and they talk about building the Republic of Heaven where they are. It’s no place else but here and now Madam Justice. I don’t want to destroy the world, but I don’t think I can save it either. How about one more movie, The Core. A scientist was trying to keep his family; only three people alive because it was too much to save everyone. You know I would die for my Dæmon no question but to give him and a family a future? Down With President Trump. Black Lives Matter, whatever Greta Thunberg goes on about but me?

Heroes Die Or Must Watch

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 299 ~Hey Rich, I’m Will~

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One of these days, this will be the story of how I became a rich man, in two days I’ll have a story of a bookstore made brothel, and tonight there are so many pretty girls to text. Hey Rich, I’m Will.

Friday, April 26, 2019

Episode 299 ~Hey Rich, I’m Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now, or I would be if I ever published my first story “Some Assembly Required.” Now that includes the title; my current project doesn’t even have a name yet. Still, I’m on word 45,200, and this has spawned thirteen stories. Only let’s talk about three I’m living.

Well, more to the idea I want to live. For example, as I was telling “Indiana Gone” today, the dream is I don’t ever want to leave my Grand Estate. But, I’ll have family vacations. I’ll have businesses to run, an erotic appetite. Now, wait did I say a family? Everything I did today from picking up Chinese food. Banking, and visiting three different stores. One for dog food, to peanuts, to Walmart, I want to do online. Now like I was thinking about people finding 600 Million for Notre Dame. Why are the poor always called upon to help the poor? I’m rich, and I’ll help when the check comes through. Even last night I went to see Avengers: Endgame. One of the first things I’ll want to do is build an in-house movie theater. I’ll buy one of those machines so I can stream movies the moment they are out to the public.

As far as the public, I’m not a blabbermouth. Still, like Sheldon Cooper when you know something like Avengers: Endgame. You want to start talking plenty. Only no worries My Lady I know better, but for the record the movie was awesome. You know I’m not one to write about superheroes, and my villains are all perverted in one sense or another. So yet again I need my movie studio built. It will be like The Director by Lily White. I want to be charitable as I have seen some extraordinary movies coming out and I do want to take part in that. Haven’t I told you before I want to add beauty in the world if I can someday?

More like when I can. If I work hard tomorrow and I’m grateful there will be tomorrow, I will be looking at The End of my book. Camp NaNoWriMo will be mine once again I know it. What about those thirteen other stories like The Key of Janus, The Path Of Gaia, Prometheus? Always more stuff about the Greeks and even Christian ideology when I have the money. I’ll soon say Hey Rich, I’m Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 279 ~Make Me Smile, Will~

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Easy Street, that’s the perfect way to sum up my day, no day job shift, food in the fridge, and 2,600 words for my novel, and I’m not sleepy, as my motivations say, your purpose is the thing that stops time, so look at my face. “Make Me Smile, Will.”

Saturday, April 6, 2019

Episode 279 ~Make Me Smile, Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, bottle up this feeling I’m having right now. Dare I call it HAPPINESS. I was listening to this Brainbuddy recording the other day. It was talking about dopamine “pleasure” knowing control in the body. Now I’m no doctor, and that’s okay. Still considering everything that flows in and out of people. The moment I got to work and realized I didn’t have to stay today, wow.

Felt better than any orgasm, and when leaving work makes me feel like this? Talk about 7 Minutes In Heaven, The Rapture, or The Divine Comedy. A spiritual experience, never known in the church. This morning I was struggling to throw all the best I could at the universe. I did my “Morning Routine,” got some fresh air with B III, did the Law of Attraction hypnosis. Now I didn’t fall asleep per se; I set my alarms just in case. After all that, I was still fighting my emotions. About my day job, my “father,” life in general, it was touch and go there with NO FAP. My stress level was going all over.

So like I’ve been doing every day, my dominant positive thought has been “I Have A Million Dollars.” That’s it “I AM Rich,” “My bank account is full,” “There is more than enough.” Fighting off the bad vibes. As for today, my work shift got canceled. I didn’t have to see my “father” at all. I even had enough to get myself a treat. So do I take this as the Universe responding to my wishes? I AM grateful for this day. Triple B is staying healthy, my million has arrived, and more is coming. I got a good night’s rest. Let the Universe hear me; it’s on my side isn’t that right Lady Luna.

Yesterday was hard, so of course, I needed to do some significant asking. Yes at the end of “some” days, the good outweighs the bad. Only I choose to believe that a genie is watching my back. Um, I still admire Will Smith. Is there anything else that makes me want to smile today. How I imagined my bedroom, my private shower, having my home theater. There was a guy today who even said my car must run pretty fast.

No time machine but like Terminator 2 Judgement Day I face the future with hope; Universe, Make Me Smile, Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 138 ~To Will Wash History~

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History is at the mercy of the victor’s whims, but I always like to believe that it’s the wheelhouse survivors, then again Hitler’s book was a best seller, and most of the erotica I read is from white women, but here I am. “To Will Wash History”

Friday, November 16, 2018

Episode 138 ~To Will Wash History~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, but it wouldn’t matter if I did anyway as no amount of money can cover up the truth but the thing is, that enough of it does make it easier to live with some way. Right now I’m doing what I do for free so no wonder it’s so damn difficult to keep going over it, hell if people can’t get past the title, that has changed, but still, there’s Facebook.

Of course, I could always delete it but what kind of man would I be because there still is that belief that one of these days I’ll be bragging to these people and I want evidence that even though I screwed up plenty, here I am writing my victory speech, rather than my concession. I’ve said before that I write so much attempting to outrun certain words, ideas, and names but I can never control all of it; hasn’t it been a while since I thought of the “Fly Girl” better left to the past. The thing is I wish I could forget today’s writing for Pay Two Plague, how about erasing the schedule at work, and always the words I speak, but there is an Echo for one reason or another in my head… yeah, Where Is My Mind?

If anything My Lady, do you know how many times I’ve written “My Master” but that’s another story literally, my brain would be about as useless as the backspace and delete keys and 27,500 words I don’t care to explain. Speaking of words, I don’t need *ahem* Raid: Ant Baits, when I’m not busy writing I’m putting down ant invasions and those pieces of sh*t, both bug and weapon are not worth anything. For tonight it’s looking like I don’t have to tell you in horror stories but Then The Morning Comes, I’m going for five thousand words, NaNoWriMo is a word I have come to respect and admire, but my words don’t do it justice to be completely honest.

How many words will it take to drown out the past, how many to make the present worth living and how many to rewrite the future because what I know and even what I don’t is not worth reading. It’s like 1984 with everyone else’s words I wonder of my existence. Do I honestly want to, this weekend the day job will see since I’m not going in and I don’t want to with Black Friday coming, but there’s no way To Will Wash History?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 075 ~Big Names Excuse Will~

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The Man stands tall; he doesn’t have to say he’s big, grand, or as the song goes, gigantic, gigantic, but I have a big, big love if I ever paid my words any attention but like English class, I was busy writing excuses. Big Names Excuse Will

Friday, September 14, 2018

Episode 075 ~Big Names Excuse Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Give Me One Reason not to make an excuse; my fifth-grade year of school, I damn near wrote a novel with them, considered it an elective, and it was my first shot at nonfiction… what, eye drops freaked me out, and afterward I forgot about homework. Is that why working from home has come back to bite me in the ass, and of course you ask, why don’t I go to the library today and I have excuses for that too. Need to preserve the car tires until I get new ones, how about the day job, or my little boy WAS sick a few days ago.

However, If I Had $1,000,000; I miss writing plans like that, of course, it was never how to get the money but what I would do once I had it and one of those things would be to give my son the best life ever. I was sitting in the car listening to my motivation playlist of course and the guy says, is it possible to have a million dollars in a year and just saying I thought there is no excuse I shouldn’t be a millionaire, more like a Billionaire. Why should I write even more explanations when I have my purpose WRITING and my why, My SON, REVENGE, POWER, maybe that’s the thing, my whys must outnumber all those things I can blame.

The big stories that seem so incredible, so “Legen-Wait For It… DARY!” that I do get discouraged, how I wish I was that smart, and make me question how they got away with it, 4 Years Trapped in My Mind Palace, Detroit: Become Human or Bible Black. Those names that I hope to be, strive to “date,” and titles I want as much as my name itself, Will Smith, Jennifer Lawrence, and while I should want to be me how about, author, husband, father. Oh Lady Sophia, what big dreams I have, to never worry about money again, to have that brothel. Maybe to get even with those that have done me wrong; yeah my anger doesn’t disappear overnight but how about this; never having to introduce myself, ever again.

My name has to be bigger; my word needs to be greater because now it’s sorry Benjamin Franklin, I have to hide you for a rainy day while I spend Washington and Lincoln. My apologies to the Fanning sisters, stick with my Pinterest, and Alice Little I dream of coming to the ranch someday, and yeah my son needs medication but Big Names Excuse Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 068 ~Will To See Tomorrow~

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I am not a prophet though if the future is anything like I write about, um you should be running, only today/tomorrow well… you know I like looking five minutes ahead, and here I am twenty-four hours in advance. “Will To See Tomorrow?”

Friday, September 7, 2018

Episode 068 ~Will To See Tomorrow~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Give me one reason other than I’ll be sleeping in my bed, but of course, I couldn’t possibly know that seeing as I’m writing this a day before. Honestly, Lady Sophia cut me some slack, this is the one day I’m allowed to miss, and you didn’t even exist. How did you get so lucky and why was I so strong that another year has passed and I would say for the worst sadly but about today?

I don’t know what to tell you; if it’s another typical day I’ll be at the house not worried about my writing which is one less thing in a sea of troubles; I always say I’ll spend it in bed crying but I “rarely” do. I’m probably exhausted, there is so much I did yesterday and for what, I asked for this day off for obvious reasons but I wanted to clean the house, cut the grass, possibly find food and I’m still sitting in bed. Of course, I’ve had a conversation with Dirty Diana, but that’s still about my Pinterest concerns and I know I must be boring you, who knows about the future?

“Lawgiver, who knows about the future?”

The Lawgiver “Perhaps only the dead.” Battle for the Planet of the Apes (1973)

Okay so if I can’t write about tomorrow/today in reality how about if I’m still alive after thirty-four, how would I like to spend it… with a family, my firstborn, my wife, the children who share my DNA, poor them. Positive vibes, I’m really “trying” Lady Sophia but what about an end of the world orgy which is where all my novels nowadays are headed, yes a prior conversation. I’m having trouble thinking of something else, having my books as bestsellers, money, power, should I make a wish, that would involve cake which would include another trip to the store and as far as my favorite foods, I was sick today/yesterday, thank you Taco Bell.

I will live to see today/tomorrow especially since I downed a 5-hour ENERGY so I can clean house literally, you would think I’m expecting a party or some company, a miracle even and I don’t count, well you know. Today is only one more day, to think I might have gotten serious about blogging and what good came from this, what emerged from me arriving on the planet, does anyone have Will To See Tomorrow?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 005 ~Leave It To Printer~

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Every day the writing gets worse, either on my screen, on my face, on my sleeve, wherever as they say to write all you need to do is bleed and considering the pain these past few days. “Leave It To The Printer”

Friday, July 6, 2018

Episode 005 ~Leave It To Printer~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Give Me One Reason to write it, one reason not to; aren’t I always asking for reasons to be a writer, in middle school other than that story about turkeys I had my head buried in a book, nowadays it’s earphones. I also say I can never speak my mind; I’m always laughing, smiling, making some random noise because everybody has a story and I don’t want to read it or maybe I’m illiterate when it comes to people even in writing.

Of course, the killers in my latest novels are reflections of myself but why is it that everyone in my life can either, see my humiliation and my fear, and they speak it so the whole damn world can hear. Two, they think they have the right to write out my story, my destiny in their fairytales like The Adjustment Bureau and since there is no chairperson to be had? Three they don’t want the story to end, no more like I’m a joke but once you have the punchline there is no more fun, and that leaves me here broken, and if anything, I should be working on my story and not contemplating contacting HR again, for hurt feelings.

Excuse me Lady Sophia for repeating past mistakes; I do take responsibility I do put myself out there and let my critics eat me alive in case you were wondering why I’m so into the undead, in horror; killers for the most part work alone, but I face an army. I already said before I write these stories about how I think people should be then I live and I’m wrong on all counts and so what I write becomes well… “STUPID” and even now I can’t tell you the whole story. No, I leave that to my fiction, and nobody sees that either, but I was listening to motivational speakers all morning, and I don’t fear failure, I dread returning to my day job every day and being everything they want me to be.

If anything shouldn’t that be enough to give the printer whatever remains of me, hell shouldn’t I buy a new printer anyway, as always I need to take my writing more seriously instead of worrying about the blog amongst other things. Paper makes plenty of noise Lady Sophia, and with plenty of green, I still don’t know how to look at people or what will be their next fairytale, but all I am, my next novel Leave It To Printer.

I Will Have No Fear