Tag: Life

Lesson 305 ~Chicken Crossed The Road~

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I never drive far, hell everything I need is around the corner, movies, restaurants, two different vets, I could walk to work, Walmart, and besides no strip clubs, the internet takes care of that along with Amazon shopping. “Chicken Crossed The Road”

Wednesday, May 2, 2018

Lesson 305 ~Chicken Crossed The Road~

Forgive Me Echo,
I Am Not Fine Today but less crazy, or at least I think I am and I am sorry if you’ve heard this story before, but I once heard that Hell is repetition, only this is one of the few times I didn’t get lost actually. Should I start with the fact that I wasted two hours of my life; hell I am killing time every day but this was like Nascar which I have never understood, going around and circles and for what, most get nothing.

At least I got a lesson out of the deal, something I should have known a long time ago and the closest I got to “stalking.” As you know my old car sucks but I started talking to this girl, and as she was adequately inebriated she asked could I pick her up one night. Cowardice or good sense I didn’t, but she told me where she lived and willing to risk getting stuck because of some girl, one morning I drove over merely as a test to whether I could make it there at all. How to say, the gesture was not well received, and I haven’t texted or been out that way again and with such a lesson did I grow as a person… episode 305 Inspector Justice I’m still an idiot honestly.

A joke why did the chicken cross the road, because here I am again contemplating “Indiana Gone” who has been to my place on many occasions and then she moved away, and now she wants me to visit her, but of course she hasn’t given me her address. How about the fact that I didn’t trust my old car to do anything when I needed it most especially when it comes to some girl not that I have faith in me with the new car. Last but not least what about the “bitch,” now that does make me sound scary doesn’t it, but I have never dreamed of going out that way, but of course I was already, creepy, skeeve, stalker, according to her blog.

Should you forgive me Inspector Echo for being a chicken that likes his side of the road just fine or for crossing and getting fried because I’m going to Hell aren’t I, and maybe it’s better I feel like chicken tonight or this afternoon. Forgive me Echo for not finding some Holy Grail, and I suppose my princess is in another castle which worked for Mario but he was no chicken, but as for me *sigh* Chicken Crossed The Road.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 299 ~Deaf Of King Midas~

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When it comes to the perfect woman how long until you get to the lips, something I might have to ask Real Doll right but then again, I’m into scream queens if you know what I mean between kisses. “Deaf of King Midas,” while I hear a bit too much

Thursday, April 26, 2018

Lesson 299 ~Deaf Of King Midas~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Fine Today because all that glitters is not gold and if I had enough of that I’m sure I would have quite the scream queen, oh yes Dirty Diana I do like a screamer, a moaner, and a crier. At the same time though any girl; any submissive that I was with would also need to understand the value of silence and the power that silence holds.

I’m not just talking about non-disclosure agreement (NDA) or fucking in public; speaking of which, they shut Backpage down… don’t ask me how I know or why I care, haven’t I said I’m a traditionalist, I wouldn’t pay for sex, okay maybe in Nevada for “the day.” You should also know I’m not one to kiss and tell, hell first I would need a “Wishing Well” because when’s the last time I asked some girl “Can We Talk” and yet I’m so bold sexually right? Cherry and I were talking the other day about what people did before there was language, *sigh* to return to nothing more than a man’s primal nature but in all facets of my life nowadays, it’s a crime to be silent.

Is that why my fantasies these days have been about how to make people shut up; like one is about a girl who is always talking badly about herself, she even brought up grey hairs which wouldn’t matter much if I was pulling them off while she blew me. Yesterday another girl was upset I wasn’t paying her attention and since we have talked about her having blowjob lips, well here come the pictures. I even told another girl that’s busy texting or otherwise on the phone in her car, she’s lucky she isn’t mine because I would find a way to shut her up.

Isn’t it strange that I don’t have a ball gag for those times might dick might be engaged elsewhere; something else I may need if I ever start building the “Black Room” that I desire. No secrets between us right and today is full of secrets with “Avengers: Infinity War” coming out, for all the respect I have for intelligent and smart mouth chicks here or there, what I wouldn’t give to have Black Widow’s or Shuri’s lips occupied.

Even with that image, silence is golden, I’ve kept it in my pants, and you know me and my dirty talk, but for now, Dirty Diana things are quiet for the Deaf Of King Midas.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 298 ~Time Enough At Last~

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Why stand there taking up space; I get road rage just standing in line and perhaps one of my fears is that everyone feels, the same way and I don’t want anyone feeling that way. “Time Enough At Last,” to relax maybe

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

Lesson 298 ~Time Enough At Last~

Forgive Me Echo,
I Am Not Fine Today though I wish I could remember a time that I was, a time I could stop and smell the roses, sometime when I didn’t feel I was running for my life, trying to catch up or rushing things because there is so little time left. How often have I said, the world will end in five minutes, and I have to make it until then, again and again, it becomes incredibly exhausting.

For instance, people falling in love at first sight, it works for dogs, I loved my dog since the moment his paws hit the ground, and I immediately wanted to protect him from the world, can’t say they about any girl and nor should you. Don’t get me wrong Inspector Echo I’m not that much of an idiot… any more and that’s quite a long story but no time. I have too much to apologize for today, I’m not taking the time to live or even wanting to, I want to survive, and I especially don’t have time to figure out how I’ll get that done in the long run.

“I just want to wake up with more time on my hand than hours in the day.” In Time (2011)

Everyday Inspector Echo I feel like I’m getting in the way and I don’t even have time to say I’m sorry, did you ever wonder why I never go anywhere taking the highway, how I have to fly to visit a friend rather than drive because I’d get lost forever. I’m the guy that practices what to say before he goes through the drive-thru, who can’t do anything but stand in line honestly, and then I’m lazy as hell when it comes to sleep. Now I’m not in love with any girl, but I don’t lie, I speak in a certain way, I rush because most guys that can get girls don’t have to talk and I’m a regular Howard Wolowitz, I say whatever stupidly.

And I also apologize for wasting my time apologizing on top of dreaming up revenge or wallowing in misery, I’m sorry every day must fill up with something, and then I can do nothing but waste it, even today, how far have I got in editing my book? To think I hope they never build a time machine or if they do, that the “The Langoliers,” won’t be far behind; why do I need to go back, this sounds familiar.

Doesn’t make me any less sorry though and maybe with enough money, power, or maybe love there will be one day, Time Enough At Last.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 294 ~The Ease of Jealousy~

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So today wasn’t my day and tomorrow I might finally finish another novel; fifty-thousand words, while somebody else will write one sentence and the world will be all a “Twitter” won’t they, am I jealous? The Ease of Jealousy.

Saturday, April 21, 2018

Lesson 294 ~The Ease of Jealousy~

Hey Lady Lu,
I Am Not Fine Today, because I apparently overestimated people’s stupidity or maybe I underestimated the power of my laziness but I’m still working today even though I slacked off a bit yesterday a lot… the dog groomers, the bank, shopping, excuses. How often do I rely on people being terrible at their jobs just to make myself feel better, not that I could do such things, but I have a higher calling; these people sustain life but don’t writers and the other artists make it worth something, a reason Lady Lu.

“And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.” ― Dead Poets Society

Now it’s one thing to see all these authors, talented, tremendous, gifted, but what are the odds that I’ll meet Skye Warren, that one of my books will have me dancing with Jennifer Lawrence at some soiree, or I’ll end up on the big screen, well porn has awards. It’s when I see people I know; you remember the bitch that got me back into writing because I was so ashamed of myself “Look Who Grossed Up” and that was Two Hundred And Ninety-Four posts ago. I suppose she’s still writing, was even getting contacted by publishers and such and here I am, I’ve been writing most of my life, and okay I’m jealous, secure enough to admit that right?

“Males shouldn’t be jealous that’s a female trait” ― Jay-Z

Anyway, so last night this extreme Christian girl I once worked with has started her blog. I peeked at it, and again those feelings of shame and regret crept up, and I probably won’t often visit just because as the song goes “I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.” Isn’t that easy, be respectful to women, but I’ll be jealous too, of her following, of all the likes and fans perhaps? All she will have to do is be herself *sigh*. Now I could argue the other way about being “green” it’s not easy making money, not if you’re me, it’s easy being “a sick pig” or skeeve as you know who called me; if she knew.

One mean word spawned thousands if not millions that were better left going unwritten though, someone told me recently she discovered my work, and it is nice to have a fan, you don’t know how much. It’s not easy getting up and exposing all my secrets, some I suppose, it’s not easy looking at my work and not blaming alcohol or drugs, yeah I’m bad at my craft, and that Lady Lu is what brings *sigh* The Ease of Jealousy.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 292 ~Marquis De Sade, Works~

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I wonder how long the works of Marquis de Sade were, and he wrote plenty more books than me along with them knowing publication regardless of content, I could work such infamy or just a good girl that wants to be naughty. Marquis De Sade, Works.

Thursday, April 19, 2018

Lesson 292 ~Marquis De Sade, Works~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Fine Today but never have I been as far gone as let’s say maybe Marquis de Sade, though you know I have taken on the name Marquis de Joker in some regions of my life. How often I find myself merging my ideas between you and the others but yes I have been writing out my fantasies in my novel “Temptations End” so yeah it’s probably good that it will never see the light of day I think.

I wish it were something like “120 Days of Sodom” but no my book is horrible in a different kind of way; as Marquis de Sade truly harnessed his gift, my work is more like a horny fanboy making his first porn. Now it is a fantasy to be one of those authors that can get ladies to spread their legs and struggle with holding their books as they finger themselves or play with their toys. Yeah, I’m no writer, and I’m no Fabio either as I put myself in all of my stories and I don’t only mean blood, sweat, and tears or even cum; I suppose I want to live what I imagine.

Only back to reality and I’m sure I’ve said this before, I want to spend my days writing and having some girl suck me off when I get plenty excited but speaking of which, what doesn’t excite me these days. Violence, death, and as always, sexy brunettes so yeah I’m going to miss The Walking Dead, already been working on my Pinterest boards of some of the ladies. Hell, my latest book is about a man that can have any woman he wants in the span of an apocalypse; did I only say my most recent book, third and not a dollar or a woman to be seen for it?

I’m sure Marquis de Sade wasn’t writing for a paycheck, he was revealing things about himself and his views on humanity which then begs the question since I’m not getting read period and I swore off “Fapping” at the moment, why do I continue? Maybe our next conversation should be about teasing or perhaps orgasm denial, more stuff to read up on I suppose right?

Maybe I shouldn’t be writing but instead living but that requires money and what am I doing for that, my day job what a joke even Marquis De Sade, Works.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 291 ~It’s A Hairy Situation~

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Dogs are man’s best friend, and you don’t keep your friends in cages do you, or bubble wrap, and there is a leash law but tell that to everyone else and bugs will be bugs sadly. It’s A Hairy Situation

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Lesson 291 ~It’s A Hairy Situation~

Forgive Me Echo,
I Am Not Fine Today, and I am still worried about my kid; I had a bit of a revelation this morning about fear as he and I went for our walk. How often do I talk about fear and courage is merely facing fear and doing what you want or must, hell just being able to live my life and his.

Anyway, as we both know fear haunts me and when you’re a father; no I can never be ashamed of the fact that I think of him as my son; how many fears have I faced because of that fact? No today’s sin is no matter what; I can’t protect him from everything, isn’t that my job, what parent admits such a thing or outright fails at it when they are needed most? I thought I saw a tick burrowing into his fur and you know how he is when it comes to bugs, his nails, and other small emergencies and if I can’t handle such things what about the big ones that will happen?

It’s not just my failures as a dad though, he frightens me Inspector Echo, this little six to eight pounds of fluff can scare me and not just because of his health, no he is just like me, angry, terrified, not knowing what’s best for him. Why do you think he takes baths at the groomers, nails clipped there too, the vet on speed dial every time he gets a tick because I am incapable? Don’t I sound like some worthless Republican afraid of the children only in this case, he’s mine and as much as I want to blame his “grandfather” or any number of bad experiences, his fears and mine, fall to me.

“You failed. You failed as a leader and most of all Rick, you failed as a father. Just… give up.” The Lost and the Plunderers

He’s bitten me before when I needed to stop him from terrorizing the neighborhood; on multiple occasions in fact for any number of things, a bit ironic that I can’t prevent things from biting him because he’ll chew me. So we endure, have and will because love perhaps is the highest sin of all, and now is not the time for a God kick thankfully.

I only ask your forgiveness for realizing that some fears, a father’s love will always remain, the fact that I can protect him from other dogs but he won’t let me help with the little things; how I should be a better man but I know It’s A Hairy Situation.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 287 ~Fools and Their Eh~

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Oops, I did it again, wasted my time, did my best instead of going out and maybe doing anything else that might honestly help me I mean any fool can write a book right. “Fools And Their Eh,” which I’d be lucky if I got that at all

Saturday, April 14, 2018

Lesson 287 ~Fools and Their Eh~

Hey Lady Lu,
I Am Not Fine Today, best case scenario I’m meh or eh and keeping an eh is a miracle these days but shouldn’t that be what a smile is for, a laugh, or just an honest day’s work. In this movie once, I think they said any fool could make an “A” but keeping it, maintaining it, that was the hard part, along with making it mean something, anything at all.

Maybe I should be talking to Lady Sophia about this, but my work as of late has been eh than A and I’m struggling as to why I even continue with it, even today I only want to hang on to my position with Camp NaNoWriMo. That’s the only top that I can see these days, that fifty-thousand-word total and what does it matter when you’re standing on a mountain of crap? Am I depressed you ask, if I am, I’m bleeding all over the pages which is a good sign don’t you think so Luna?

A which leads to B and I wind up with C, so on and so forth and even if I make it to Z, I would always be looking for the value of X, and I’m as lost now as I was back in those math classes of yesteryear. So what am I trying to say, what do I want to say, and like at work what should I say and that is something I can’t cater to, not anymore, never again though we both know if my “father” walked in here… People must have their A’s no doubt, it gives you value in this world, but no one ever understood I was trying to hang on to that eh most days and what did that get me, I’m Fonzie.

Am I saying I’m cool, am I still speaking of miracles, no I’m saying I get laughed at, I’m believing at some magic time what I am will be acceptable… maybe if we ever get “The First Purge.” Most days, speaking the truth I would like to feel a little bit better than this but I want to write those A’s and dot my I’s and cross my T’s and in the end, doesn’t this make me a fool honestly.

Can I live like this, can I maintain, endure and survive, what is it they say, Fools And Their Eh?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 285 ~Calling In An Old-Fashioned~

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Let’s hear it for the boy because at least if I’m clapping, that’s one more thing my hands could be doing, besides writing, or waving them around like I “just don’t care” and at the moment I don’t. Calling In An Old-Fashioned

Thursday, April 12, 2018

Lesson 285 ~Calling In An Old-Fashioned~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Fine Today; my hands have been plenty busy, on writing you pervert, oh that’s right maybe I forgot who I was talking to now, and I don’t know if this is going to be all types of sexy or what. It’s not my novel, again this would be more up Lady Sophia’s alley, and I was going to say ass but today is more about self-gratification or should I say a lack thereof, thirty-three days and still counting.

Sometimes even a quickie isn’t possible; men have their usual porn, you know I have “The Motherlode” seriously I miss that show “Secret Girlfriend” you should go watch if you haven’t. Do women keep one hand on their books and one on their toys; it is HARD work trying to type and pleasure oneself at the same damn time, but I’m behaving, yes a good boy for the most part. I’m not suggesting that there’s something wrong with masturbation just so you know, but then you ask me why I stopped, and I have more than enough reasons, one of them being the “thirst,” *sigh*.

My mother told me though, you don’t go to the grocery store when you’re hungry, which is accurate enough when it comes to food ready to go but a hunter who has to or needs to, without a doubt score a kill? On the other hand, I did not say that did I, like on this episode of “Solitary” those people think they were starving, but a small taste of something has them ready to explode. Is this my way of saying I need to stop “edging” with the porn, I might as well stop writing my novel then, don’t you think or find a woman as you are suggesting.

Since my hands have been pretty busy maybe this why I’m leaning towards a hand-job and those can happen anywhere; it’s even a fantasy of mine to be doing precisely this, to be writing and just having some ladylove beside me taking care of business. In the movies, in the library, yeah I don’t think I’m winning over any stores to be sure, and as for my writing who knows what would happen if I gave into temptation but no.

Just like one of my girls, I would like to watch so I would know entirely the magic these fingers could do because it ain’t writing but I was always better Calling In An Old-Fashioned.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 280 ~I Missed Health Class~

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When was the last time I wanted to get out of bed, not needed, not have to, not a challenge, no I only wanted to get up and live… is it too early for Christmas and can I be a kid again and go back to school. I Missed Health Class.

Saturday, April 7, 2018

Lesson 280 ~I Missed Health Class~

Hey Lady Luna,
I Am Not Fine Today because I missed health class, not all of it but probably more than Sex Ed, only this is America, so most kids missed that conversation, to be honest. What I mean there are plenty of things about health that I should have learned being an African-American and all. Personally, I never dreamed I’d get out of my teens and with diet, a brain only a zombie could love, the cops, let’s say things aren’t looking that good.

You may be wondering what brought all this up; maybe it’s the fact that I have wasted yet one more day of my life in bed. Except for walking my dog and nature’s call, I’ve been down for the count. What honestly baffles me is the concept that I have held my day job for almost seven years and in all that time, I’ve been late once, and I’ve called out once, been too sick to stay one time, and left early maybe twice. One of those times was for another job, and the other was for my writing career, and yet I’m not writing today, am I Lady Lu?

I wasn’t learning how to survive on Pop-Tarts and toast, maybe pizza and Rotisserie Chicken every night, am I complaining about food and money right now? Lady Lu they don’t talk about when you’re so depressed that your body follows suit and you’re weighed down by something as light as a blanket. How about cold, the weather has been like something out of “1408” hot, wet, frozen, wasteland but every work day I go out into that, and it’s killing me, but I have a billion excuses as to why I can’t do for me.

Speaking of killing, I haven’t had a run-in with the law for the longest time but from searching on Motherless.com to my Pinterest boards being knocked out, to Facebook collecting intel I could face arrest for a great many things. Am I still hung up on the Pinterest thing… tell that to the hundred or so episodes of General Hospital I have yet to watch and just might give up.

Health Class wants to teach you to stay strong and not just lie on your back which goes right back into how come there’s no sexual education at most schools. I’ll tell you what I haven’t learned today, how to deal with an ever-growing weakness pervading my body but hey Lu I Missed Health Class.

“There is only one rule that binds all people. One governing principle that defines every relationship on God’s green earth: The weak are meat, and the strong do eat.” Dr. Henry Goose, Cloud Atlas (2012)

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 278 ~Something Beautiful To Spare~

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Destroying all that’s beautiful seems a messed up lot in life, which is why some take so much for themselves and the rest of us, a diamond in the rough, a lily amongst the thorns, “loving can hurt sometimes.” “Something Beautiful To Spare.”

Thursday, March 29, 2018

Lesson 278 ~Something Beautiful To Spare~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Fine Today, but I can see everything now, for I have never been one for beer goggles, and I’m out of anything that gets me high, but I will accept I’m superficial, okay let’s say downright shallow. My drug of choice is sex, but I need the premium, the highest quality, I need that rush; some will say a life’s worth of porn will do that, but I prefer more than “The Missionary Position,” something inside me always has demanded more, awe-inspiring dominance.

I’ve been thinking about “Slaves To Passion” a lot lately and how Kaoru begins to use his former master’s wife and daughter to create art and after a great “sacrifice” he creates a grand work of art but then has to go home to his sexually frustrating wife. He loves her, but he cannot dare to do a quarter of the things he did to other women, he tries, and it doesn’t work for either of them sadly. I also mentioned yesterday “The Screwfly Solution” where sexual longing becomes transformed into a violent rage, where a man would take a woman to his bed instead well, don’t be beautiful ever.

My point is women I don’t find attractive could be lucky or unlucky, the reason this is unfortunate is that I want nothing more than to end it quickly, to fight, to be mad, but fortunate because I don’t drag it out, at least not with them. When a beautiful woman gets me riled up though, that anger, rage, that fire, becomes ravishing and that is what I dream… what to be beautiful, instead to “unleash the beast” but not precisely in a Purge sort of way. An enemy has but one purpose, to know destruction but a rose that cuts you, a puppy that bites you, a story that warps you can be pruned and grown, should know to submit and must be trained, can be polished and made into a masterpiece, the master himself is better as well.

I am the monster Dirty Diana, but the Beast sought to hurt those who threatened Belle, but he did not “eat” Belle, he locked her in his castle, commanded her, but during gave her a library and a wardrobe, he cared for her. He may have frightened her; he may hurt her as a man because this is what men do. Only by the beauty, she carried inside, and yes she was sexy outside. He knew healing; the beast was made handsome, he changes dramatically.

An ugly woman outside is one thing, ugly inside, I can hate but I take no pleasure, beautiful within *sigh* is my loss, but give me a woman beautiful both inside and out; I only ask Something Beautiful To Spare.

I Will Have No Fear