Tag: Jealousy

Tale 239 ~I’ll “B” Successful… Virgil~

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A new week, another sin. Though I have talked about my envy before as if I’m some teen girl. Uh, I could talk about my body. But I see the young woman with her writing and her cat. The two writers with new series, etc., “I’ll “B” Successful… Virgil.”

Sunday, February 25, 2024

Tale 239 ~I’ll “B” Successful… Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And is this what you said to me this morning? Or to Virgil Vivi. Didn’t think so.

And you wish you could say it to B. Nothing is stopping you. Well, except for reading yet another book about dead fur babies. That’s after reading about another’s birthday.

To watch others be successful with their furry children, and where’s Braxton? In a box. Virgil is still with you. I should count him as a success. Yet, like me, you stood out in the breeze waiting for Virgil to give a what… Bathroom humor is beneath you. You think?

But what about jealousy? That’s what last week was all about, “Hey Jealousy.” And you’re not only thinking about the kind between a man and a woman. You were looking at this woman and her boyfriend… husband in Tokyo this morning, though. You should turn off Instagram. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined… Princess Tamer Collection?
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

But you have more chance of getting to Japan than finding a woman like her. How about ever being in love? Virgil knows all about that. It was cold this morning, but that’s not why V was shaking. At least not all of it. But he needs a coat. Don’t you think? Where’s the money?

I wasn’t a thinker. And you’re not holding out much hope for yourself or the world. At large? I swear, when you’re not looking at the failure you are, you can cut on the TV. There are endless stories of people’s failures. Or a person winning with everything in life.

Everyone else has got FAMILY. A guy is TikTok FAMOUS. And FINDING books… Uh?

And you are? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Losing A Pet – A Book of Grief & Recovery, etc.
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

My biggest win last week was finishing a book about harems. And there was watching “Five Nights at Freddy’s.” That was, at the last second, serving as a worthless excuse.

Today, I’m unsuccessful because… well, fill in the blank, dude.

And this week, as you work for the pittance to keep you alive. And you see Logan Jacobs and Eric Vall prospering with titles. A new audiobook and series, respectively. Speaking of looking at the phone. You’re reminded of how much of your time I wasted. I am Guilty. Sigh…

You’ll be guilty of being unsuccessful, and why? Laziness, Lust, and Liking those that DO…

Because it won’t be you, lying with Virgil singing If I could “Be Like That.”

Wanting a dad, wanting a son… I’ll “B” Successful… Virgil

1120 Days Without B III, Day 561 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Lesson 294 ~The Ease of Jealousy~

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So today wasn’t my day and tomorrow I might finally finish another novel; fifty-thousand words, while somebody else will write one sentence and the world will be all a “Twitter” won’t they, am I jealous? The Ease of Jealousy.

Saturday, April 21, 2018

Lesson 294 ~The Ease of Jealousy~

Hey Lady Lu,
I Am Not Fine Today, because I apparently overestimated people’s stupidity or maybe I underestimated the power of my laziness but I’m still working today even though I slacked off a bit yesterday a lot… the dog groomers, the bank, shopping, excuses. How often do I rely on people being terrible at their jobs just to make myself feel better, not that I could do such things, but I have a higher calling; these people sustain life but don’t writers and the other artists make it worth something, a reason Lady Lu.

“And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.” ― Dead Poets Society

Now it’s one thing to see all these authors, talented, tremendous, gifted, but what are the odds that I’ll meet Skye Warren, that one of my books will have me dancing with Jennifer Lawrence at some soiree, or I’ll end up on the big screen, well porn has awards. It’s when I see people I know; you remember the bitch that got me back into writing because I was so ashamed of myself “Look Who Grossed Up” and that was Two Hundred And Ninety-Four posts ago. I suppose she’s still writing, was even getting contacted by publishers and such and here I am, I’ve been writing most of my life, and okay I’m jealous, secure enough to admit that right?

“Males shouldn’t be jealous that’s a female trait” ― Jay-Z

Anyway, so last night this extreme Christian girl I once worked with has started her blog. I peeked at it, and again those feelings of shame and regret crept up, and I probably won’t often visit just because as the song goes “I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.” Isn’t that easy, be respectful to women, but I’ll be jealous too, of her following, of all the likes and fans perhaps? All she will have to do is be herself *sigh*. Now I could argue the other way about being “green” it’s not easy making money, not if you’re me, it’s easy being “a sick pig” or skeeve as you know who called me; if she knew.

One mean word spawned thousands if not millions that were better left going unwritten though, someone told me recently she discovered my work, and it is nice to have a fan, you don’t know how much. It’s not easy getting up and exposing all my secrets, some I suppose, it’s not easy looking at my work and not blaming alcohol or drugs, yeah I’m bad at my craft, and that Lady Lu is what brings *sigh* The Ease of Jealousy.

I Will Have No Fear