Tag: Marquis de Joker

Episode 068 ~Will To See Tomorrow~

WillLeave a comment

I am not a prophet though if the future is anything like I write about, um you should be running, only today/tomorrow well… you know I like looking five minutes ahead, and here I am twenty-four hours in advance. “Will To See Tomorrow?”

Friday, September 7, 2018

Episode 068 ~Will To See Tomorrow~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Give me one reason other than I’ll be sleeping in my bed, but of course, I couldn’t possibly know that seeing as I’m writing this a day before. Honestly, Lady Sophia cut me some slack, this is the one day I’m allowed to miss, and you didn’t even exist. How did you get so lucky and why was I so strong that another year has passed and I would say for the worst sadly but about today?

I don’t know what to tell you; if it’s another typical day I’ll be at the house not worried about my writing which is one less thing in a sea of troubles; I always say I’ll spend it in bed crying but I “rarely” do. I’m probably exhausted, there is so much I did yesterday and for what, I asked for this day off for obvious reasons but I wanted to clean the house, cut the grass, possibly find food and I’m still sitting in bed. Of course, I’ve had a conversation with Dirty Diana, but that’s still about my Pinterest concerns and I know I must be boring you, who knows about the future?

“Lawgiver, who knows about the future?”

The Lawgiver “Perhaps only the dead.” Battle for the Planet of the Apes (1973)

Okay so if I can’t write about tomorrow/today in reality how about if I’m still alive after thirty-four, how would I like to spend it… with a family, my firstborn, my wife, the children who share my DNA, poor them. Positive vibes, I’m really “trying” Lady Sophia but what about an end of the world orgy which is where all my novels nowadays are headed, yes a prior conversation. I’m having trouble thinking of something else, having my books as bestsellers, money, power, should I make a wish, that would involve cake which would include another trip to the store and as far as my favorite foods, I was sick today/yesterday, thank you Taco Bell.

I will live to see today/tomorrow especially since I downed a 5-hour ENERGY so I can clean house literally, you would think I’m expecting a party or some company, a miracle even and I don’t count, well you know. Today is only one more day, to think I might have gotten serious about blogging and what good came from this, what emerged from me arriving on the planet, does anyone have Will To See Tomorrow?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 063 ~A Will For Monday~

WillLeave a comment

Why do we only have the lesser of two evils, in fact, why do I applaud the fact that Monday rolls around and I’ll still be living like this because I know things may get worse, whether I do something or don’t. Not much motivation. “A Will For Monday”

Sunday, September 2, 2018

Episode 063 ~A Will For Monday~

To Will:
Give Me One Reason besides it is your turn, and I’ll tell you, you have a 99.9% guarantee that you will get up, take a shower, get dressed, arrive at work on time, do whatever you have to, return to the house, and walk the little boy. It’s after that when things get iffy though you will speak to Madam Justice. What I’m “trying” to explain is, what if you treated every day like a Monday, or any other day you “MUST” face.

Another reason you’re avoiding the mirror but the nose doesn’t lie, a chat amongst men is only one thing in several you must do today, take a shower, perhaps eat something that doesn’t come out of a box, despite what I went through to get it. How about treating today like you’re writing for NaNoWriMo; nobody is keeping tabs on you, nobody cares, but you have to earn the right to wear that writer’s t-shirt. It seems that today has become all about cleaning, which is why we are talking right now instead of two hours ago, emails, the car, procrastination, or success in progress, how about Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 012 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
Failed
3. “I Will” Review “The Art Of Peace”
Failed
4. I Will Make It To The Library
Completed
5. I Will Finish “Ven” by Ker Dukey and K. Webster
Failed
6. I Will Edit At Least One Chapter of “Apocalypse Rush” (Novel)
Failed

Will you be the one to break this streak of F’s, 17.5 to be exact and thank goodness I somehow found the strength to get off my lazy ass and get to the library right, a day before they started doing maintenance and that’s what you have to do on yourself. When’s the last time there was any good news? Hell, all I can say about last night is I drank hot chocolate instead of stuffing my face with a handful of marshmallows again. It doesn’t end there my friend, looks like you drew the short straw in fifty-two weeks and surviving this well you always do, but it will never get better and given today’s events, Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Survive “The Day”
4. I Will Not Get Arrested, Be Not So Fearful
5. I Will Finish “Ven” by Ker Dukey and K. Webster
6. I Will Edit At Least One Chapter of “Apocalypse Rush” (Novel)

Pay particular attention to three and four. How you spend “The Day” I hope, what, that it is better than last year, that everyone forgets it, maybe that it never happened, which brings us to four, you didn’t do anything, and it cost you everything. Why can’t you order yourself to do what is necessary like the seven years wasted at the day job, Throw The Covers, over me because again it is your turn and besides The Day what could be worse than wanting to force the future my friend, A Will For Monday?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 061 ~Gives Me The Willies~

WillLeave a comment

Writing has a way of revealing secrets, why don’t I do it more often then, maybe because some secrets should remain under the covers like me, but I decided to get up and live the dream perhaps the nightmare. “Gives Me The Willies”

Friday, August 31, 2018

Episode 061 ~Gives Me The Willies~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Give Me One Reason, not to be scared of horror movies, and I’ll merely say Take A Look At My Life, a testament to The Walking Dead and yeah maybe you’ll say I’m only lazy, there’s no denying that. I’ve been thinking a lot about these people at the day job, celebrating fifteen years on the job, I’m on seven myself and if I should ever make it to fifteen years in retail, do you know what I would want Sophia honestly?

“Hey, sweetheart. Let me tell you something. You, uh, you have my permission. I ever turn into one of those things? Do me a favor, blow my fucking head off.” ― Dawn of the Dead

Does that sound somewhat harsh to you, yesterday to me is not a tale worth retelling, but I’m going to make a real journal entry for once and tell you about today; I woke up about 6:30 am, and my little boy wanted his walk, but daddy was busy playing The Walking Dead. While outside a young girl said “oh no” which is standard for any of the female species upon seeing me, her mother overheard which got her to bring their dog in that’s always running around. Climbed back into bed to continue my Walking Dead session and then broke my No Fap streak again in less than twenty-four hours, I’m not proud of it or what got me off, damn these Beautiful Girls.

“For no particular reason I just kept on going. I ran clear to the ocean. And when I got there, I figured, since I’d gone this far, I might as well turn around, just keep on going. When I got to another ocean, I figured, since I’d gone this far, I might as well just turn back, keep right on going.” ― Forrest Gump (1994)

Woke up so my kid could answer nature’s call and as I told Indiana Gone, I went all “Forrest Gump” since I’d gone this far, I might as well eat breakfast, put on pants, fix another bowl, wash dishes, make the bed, even talk to you. You know something Lady Sophia, I’ve had an epiphany, maybe that’s why dogs are blessed with four legs because today he needed to be the man and I’m no more than an animal, so he loaned me legs. Speaking of being an animal my second epiphany or more an understanding from The Walking Dead or maybe Detroit: Become Human, a bit of both, I haven’t earned the right to be alive Lady Sophia, I live vicariously through the books I read and write, movies, music, games because when I walk outside the thing is:

“But he got real quiet. He said he was dead the minute he stepped in to enemy territory. Every day he woke up and told himself, rest in peace. Now get up and go to war. And then after a few years of pretending he was dead… he made it out alive. That’s the trick of it, I think. We do what we need to do and then, we get to live. But no matter what we find in DC, I know we’ll be okay. Because this is how we survive. We tell ourselves… that we are the walking dead.” ― The Walking Dead 05X10

That’s why I hate “The Day” life to me was never a gift and when two people who gave it regret it why shouldn’t I, sure people at work laugh, people around town too. I give people stuff to do, but if I didn’t exist, people would rest in peace, hell so would I. I don’t have to fear the monsters dear Lady Sophia. I can write to my heart’s content. This life is much scarier. And sitting here another day, going out, almost thirty-four years dodging the box my friend Gives Me The Willies.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 056 ~Will, Way, So Work~

WillLeave a comment

To be honest, I need the work in all areas of my life, as I heard during my motivation kick, sleep is for those who are broke which explains so much these past few days. Will, Way, So Work, I have it all so won’t I?

Sunday, August 26, 2018

Episode 056 ~Will, Way, So Work~

To Will:
Give Me One Reason I wouldn’t make a good boss besides crippling social anxiety. Not expecting much of anything and more than a willingness to look at porn on top of everything else. No, I’m not going to beg you or even ask because when has that ever helped and especially with this week. You’re going to be unconscious. It’s going to be a hard one, yes harder than THAT; I’m afraid if that’s even possible my friend.

I would say I have no time for excuses, but I haven’t had time for anything else besides sleeping. When exactly is the energy boost from NO FAP supposed to kick in or maybe I haven’t been eating healthy again. It could be the pressure like I said, I figured this week was all settled, paying off the blog. And then the car trouble and having this thing about eating on the regular. It’s going to be close. Of course, sitting around waiting to fail is not right, and the thing is I don’t have to. A friend paid me some interest, and yet I’m sitting on the money. Yeah, one more thing to add to failing Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 005 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 012 No Fap)
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
Failed
3. “I Will” Review “The Art Of Peace”
Failed
4. I Will Make It To The Library
Failed
5. I Will Read “Ven” by Ker Dukey
Failed
6. I Will Edit One Chapter A Day of “Apocalypse Rush” (Novel) 11 ― 17
Failed

Another 17.5 F, everything going into keeping my pants on. Now is the part of the story that you must admit you have a problem. And all your friends have an intervention to address the issue, lucky you don’t have any. Not entirely accurate, one left some time ago, another is Somebody’s Baby. Still another girl tries her best, and a fourth idolizes the “Lolita” motif, that word… dirty right? Speaking of dirty, your hands, you’ll be working most of this week but what about writing? Do you think God up and abandoned his universe? No wonder Alice found another one, but you can’ even attempt these Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 012 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
3. “I Will” Review “The Art Of Peace”
4. I Will Make It To The Library
5. I Will Finish “Ven” by Ker Dukey and K. Webster
6. I Will Edit At Least One Chapter of “Apocalypse Rush” (Novel)

Does it look like I’m going easy on you? There are factors to consider. Money, wearing out the tires with library trips when I saw hope and “potential.” How I hate that word because it means you should be doing more to make it disappear right? The man I hope you will be is starting to vanish, and you can’t let that happen, but I don’t know how to convince you. Hell Will I know you can wake up at the right time and there is so much I know.

Will you have to, you must, because it’s getting around that time, no, the time is always now, so what to do with the rest of the day? “Rule 158 I’m Will, There’s A Way” so Will, Way, So Work.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 035 ~Willingness To Forget Rules~

WillLeave a comment

How hard is it to forget about me, everybody else does it quickly enough, but even when I’m asleep, well I should be doing that now, but I’m always having dreams, creating goals, and making some rules. Willingness To Forget Rules.

Sunday, August 5, 2018

Episode 035 ~Willingness To Forget Rules~

To Will:
Give Me One Reason to, other than the fact that we want to prove we can learn something new every day and it’s already begun, yesterday was Thirty-Four that brings to mind two things, porn, and age. Speaking of forgetting things what about Rule 116 which states “Watching, Waiting, Hoping, Just Move,” and I know you’re exhausted, hell I only handled the first two hours, but it’s your world now “step up or step aside” hmm maybe you did get enough sleep Will?

Porno, panic, and peeing shouldn’t be your only reasons to get up though, despite everything what about puppy, purpose, and power, the things you never forget though agony is trumping everything at the moment. There are at least four rules that mention pain, and that gets us back to porn because clearly, you’re not enjoying your share of hurt and the only way you do enjoy it is inflicting it on others for a mutual pleasure eventually. I guess you have to think with something at the moment considering the big head is still in a fog but what about the promises, yeah I’ll stop any minute now, but you have those Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 008 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Failed, (Day 004 No Fap)
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
Failed, (Dog Food Acquired But No Bath Or Pills)
3. I Will Tell Off Anyone That Calls Me Out My Name
Completed (At Work)
4. I Will Make It To The Library Five Days Minimum
Completed
5. I Will Post A Review For “Legacy of Succession” Anna Edwards
Completed
6. I Will Edit Three Chapters of “Apocalypse Rush”
Completed

Give myself a point for just being alive and everything else is 16.5 Points, yes I did the math and you know what I see, a sixty-seven, a D Will, and to think once upon a time I would be happy with a D, hell I am pleased with my D the thing is I know I fucked up. Every day propels us forward, didn’t I say I’d stop this but there is no rule against it, but there are rules about keeping it in your pants, being a good parent, wanting, demanding and promising to do better. As I said that’s how you know you fucked up, well I did, and it sucks that you always have to correct everything I’ve done but here’s to “doing” the right thing, don’t forget Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 004 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Not Take Shit From Anybody
4. I Will Make It To The Library And Starbucks
5. I Will Finish Reading The Art Of Peace by Morihei Ueshiba
6. I Will Edit Three Chapters of “Apocalypse Rush”

Your schedule is all sorts of hectic, you feel like Hell, and your feet are always hurting but forget all about that, hard right, humor, okay I get it maybe I have a problem, but I need to think about anything other than thirty-four because, well you know. All the things that you wish would fade away; still not over “The Darkest Minds,” yeah like “Detroit: Become Human” and wanting to sleep but always such a Willingness To Forget Rules.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 033 ~End Justifies The Will~

WillLeave a comment

Don’t do it, even when you see The End on the horizon; when you wake up at four in the morning and can’t touch the keys till 4:50, when I am a writer makes you feel for once in your life that you are somebody, don’t do it. End Justifies The Will

Friday, August 3, 2018

Episode 033 ~End Justifies The Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Give Me One Reason to feel bad, I know sometimes I can’t even stand myself, I can’t put it in a text, make excuses, god help me if I try to write it honestly somewhat, and only Spider-Man can get away with “I don’t feel so good.” When did the word “bad” become one of the hardest to put down in the English language, it’s damn near forbidden to feel it, so no wonder writing it takes a great amount of strength of “Will” as it were.

Being a writer, two words that have lost all meaning are “The End” when they should be two of the most rewarding, but everything is usually “To Be Continued” as the world continues to expand, evolve, and emote. Alliteration is another big word that I tend to do plenty and is usually frowned upon but it’s not the worst thing is it, like I always say, everything I want is impossible, immoral, illegal or insane. Would that include “Editing” which is like the aftermath of marrying the princess, you know they talk about happily ever after but I’m not that type of writer or a writer at all… Charles Bukowski.

I wrote a rule a few days ago “The Truest Sentence, An Excuse” because those come bursting out of me, I spent twenty minutes, maybe more, just trying to come up with the proper chapter title and then I asked myself do I still have the will to do this? There is the line in Tupac’s Ghetto Gospel where he says he goes blind and lets the lord do his thing and I’m still not religious mind you, but I wish I could blame somebody else, anyone else. If anything that is the point I want to make today, that I could blame somebody else for not wanting to write or for doing it but despite everything, there’s only me, and I feel bad because I’m not good enough truthfully.

“If I upset you don’t stress, never forget
That God isn’t finished with me yet
I feel his hand on my brain
When I write rhymes, I go blind and let the Lord do his thang” Ghetto Gospel, (Tupac, Elton)

I’m the one that woke up late and still spent two hours wanting to talk to you, the one that feels horrible about not posting a book review and yet excited to write a movie review and still too lazy to do it. With everything and according to Rule 158 “I’m Will, There’s A Way maybe that’s why imagining an end is so hard, a starving artist must stay as such which explains my not going to the store and only wanting to write more because and no disrespect to women ha but writing means bleeding, End Justifies The Will.

I Will Have No Fear

The Legacy Of Literary Succession

WillLeave a comment

It’s hard living up to other people’s expectations or responsibilities and harder still to send them crashing all down and if I may say so it’s daunting explaining some but is this not my fate and legacy *sigh*. The Legacy Of Literary Succession

Number one, top five, nope, I’ll admit when I first SAW this book, I didn’t think much of it, the first rule when it comes to books, never judge a book by its cover, or I have a thing about feet, whatever I walked on by honestly. I read “About The Book” and it still didn’t hook me but since I’ve joined a Dark Erotica reading group I haven’t missed a book and even though I told them this doesn’t float my boat and find my remote… yeah, I was wrong about “Legacy of Succession” by Anna Edwards, it’s incredible.

The first thing and kind of spooky on a personal level is the fact that while I thought this book up and down, I literally wrote something somewhat close to this, young women, playing a game, death or slavery to the losers, all in the name of a man’s love, a common theme perhaps. Stop me if you’ve heard this one, The Honorable Victoria Hamilton has a chance at, well you can’t say riches she’s always known privilege, and you can’t utter freedom either because she’s perpetually under some man’s thumb, so pretty much the game is all there is. Of course, the prize is the soon to be Duke of Oakfield, Nicholas who is the sad little rich boy as much as she’s the tragic little wealthy girl, except he’s had plenty of sex and Victoria is a virgin.

Legacy of Succession isn’t so much a sex-filled romp as it is a throwback to the days when women were property, and their fathers did whatever they wished to do to them for, money, power, and to strengthen alliances but in our age. I’ve never cared to understand much on feminism but yes what’s happening to these women is wrong, and the current Duke of Oakfield is all well, and good about this little secret society of fathers selling their daughters into bondage Nicholas has other ideas. A bit and “I Just Can’t Wait To Be King” with the sad girl beginning to fall in love with the first man she ever sees, the three L’s Lust, Love, and Life, now how can she and Nicholas get away with that, well you have to read the book to find out.

Don’t expect any great drifting from the usual formula but there are quite a few twists, and as they say these days, OMG moments throughout; near the end, you will be on the edge of your seat to see how it all unravels. The book teases quite a bit and tries to ratchet up the dirty language to disguise the fact that other than oral satisfaction, you won’t be seeing any sex until later in the title, but it happens.

Could I fall in love with a girl like Victoria, did I fall in love, I liked her I can’t deny that but she was a bit clueless, daddy’s little girl but all but one of the daughters didn’t have daddy issues early on. As for Nicholas, sorry to say nothing especially remarkable, you’ve seen one bad boy with a good heart, you’ve seen them all, but indeed that is one of the twists in the title. His motive for doing what he does throughout.

In case you didn’t know Victoria has only known isolation for her entire life, her father either thinking she can’t control herself, she’s incredibly beautiful or that men are all like him, looking to tear her apart at a moment’s notice. So Victoria’s initial foolish actions can be forgiven, we are still in that scenario of if I was the only boy in the world and you were the only girl, and in walks, Nicholas and all bets are off. She has a fiery never say die attitude, and you never lose faith in her. However, it’s the fact that it all appears too easy for her to give herself up to Nicholas like wow.

Nicholas is the typical party boy, but as he’s turning thirty, he has to grow up and be the man or rather the monster his father wants him to be, and that means terrorizing young women until the soon to be new Duke decides on one that he would like to marry. If it was the wealth and the privilege guiding him that would be one thing but that’s one of the big twists with this story, there is a man he’s trying to please but SPOILER ALERT, it’s his brother William, everything he does to help his brother. That if anything is new, but then we throw Victoria into the mix and thus is his confliction, loyalty to his brother over love for his girl, sounds like my dog and me when a girl is here I’m just saying.

Nicholas’s father is the main antagonist, and with all the fathers in this, the worst happens to torture a son, not a daughter, and he has so many tricks up his sleeve right to the end, nearly as tenacious as his son himself. Two of the other daughters Amelia and Elizabeth, I felt for one more than the other, and they were both more prepared for their future than Victoria, and Elizabeth’s interactions with Nicholas yet one more snake. I find myself relating more to William and how he was suffering from what his father was doing, but yet again I say this in so many reviews, it’s always the quiet ones right, does nobody respect silence, oh their quiet must be the most dangerous.

That’s not a dig at the author only books in general, but as for Legacy of Succession, it is a solid four stars and one title that I’m glad I didn’t sleep on because once I started reading it; looks like my reading group was right. You might want to stop right here if you’re looking to read this as let’s say, dear Victoria who has absolutely no idea at first what her life is going to become when she becomes a victim or you a fan of Legacy of Succession, I know you will.

As to why I’m giving it four stars again I will admit that the story trope of being quiet equating to madness always rubs me the wrong way, yes more of a personal grievance but one concept I find annoying as all Hell. While many stories deal with the idea of a chosen one that somehow upends the system and makes everything better, walking in on it after years and years of waiting as if no one over many years could have possibly led by the same principles and tried to fight back? The endgame is hastily hashed out, but that happens to the best writers and though this is the only book I’ve read from Anna Edwards; I would place her among some of the greats, to be honest.

Some of my favorite parts would have to be where Victoria and Nicholas first make love and don’t get your hopes up it only happens twice, and by that point, I was pretty heavily in the book, and this title is pushing me towards buying the next. The scene where Victoria endures torture with the
“Scold’s Bridle” and paraded around the members of the Society, except the downright cruelty there was something to be said about the BDSM context to it. Getting to know the society as a whole though they played little more than a background role was profound and I’m not surprised that such groups exist because they do, I believe no doubt.

If you’re looking for something that points out specific politics and not only in England where this book takes place, are willing to set feminism to the side for a bit of fun and are into famous works of art and beautiful women, well here you go, this novel entirely. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to find some less valuable artistry to copy as inspiration and hope that my writing might be worth something to hold something of The Legacy Of Literary Succession.

Episode 028 ~Will Blank For Blank~

WillLeave a comment

I don’t beg, my knees if anything testify to that; do you hear that creak and crack that’s from working, and the thing is I know I need to do so much more of that if I’m ever going to get somewhere. Will Blank For Blank.

Sunday, July 29, 2018

Episode 028 ~Will Blank For Blank~

To Will:
Give Me One Reason and I mean other than Detroit: Become Human, it’s been a minute since either of us has mentioned that and what are we doing to get it though, well your week is only just beginning. I can’t say I’ve done much sadly, will work for food and what not, I also fell back into sleeping most of the night and still waking up exhausted which makes me proud of you, though yeah, you got up to cook, getting yourself on track for this week.

It’s hard doing anything for yourself isn’t it, The Walking Dead has become your life literally between my playing the game last week and how you feel this morning, not truly living each moment but existing nevertheless. I lost all of “M Anime’s” messages, made promises to “Indiana Gone” for her impending nuptials, and when’s the last time I talked to “Cherry” you would think that I would have gotten some work done. What is it those motivational speeches keep saying, find your purpose, you must know and feel why, and you’ve found both by being where you are right now, and the dog under the table and yet those six impossible things eluded me:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed, (Day 008 No Fap)
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
Failed, Bath
3. I Will Tell Off “Zibby” If She Calls Me Out My Name (Liberal Arts)
Failed (Have You Seen Her)
4. I Will Not Get Fired
Completed
5. I Will Post A Review For “Legacy of Succession” Anna Edwards
Failed
6. I Will Add 1,500 Words To “Apocalypse Rush” (54,000 Words)
Failed

Worse than 50% but we know what we can take off the list now only to replace them with harder goals, and while you think you have to get selfish I know you won’t do that because as Negan puts it, people are a resource. You know you were made to be a writer, you wouldn’t be sitting here otherwise, your little boy is counting on you, and why would you bother getting yourself pumped every day, driving to the library today? It’s hard trying not to sound like one of those speeches so okay what’s your purpose for this week, your six impossible things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 008 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Tell Off Anyone That Calls Me Out My Name
4. I Will Make It To The Library Five Days Minimum
5. I Will Post A Review For “Legacy of Succession” Anna Edwards
6. I Will Edit Three Chapters of “Apocalypse Rush”

We’re always on the cusp you know, I don’t want to scare you, but okay speech time, turn should do to must do, this is your Plan A and there honestly is no Plan B, well not until you get a girl, and that’s a whole other story entirely but someone worth considering always. You do this because you don’t want to be the one holding up a sign, no that’s for your fans, that’s for the people you might help someday, your two hands have a real gift, your brain can think of so much more than this my friend, Will Blank For Blank.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 026 ~The Will To Escape~

WillLeave a comment

Last week around this same time I was celebrating my escape from the norm, and today I feel as though I’m institutionalized wanting to get back into my story and at the same time committing the crime of doing everything else. The Will To Escape.

Friday, July 27, 2018

Episode 026 ~The Will To Escape~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Give Me One Reason to stay here as the song goes, maybe it’s the fact that people know they’re supposed to be quiet, unlike the movies I can get a good eight hours in, instead of a brief respite, or maybe it’s the fact that the library is becoming my gym. The sad part is today, I’ve been here since nearly ten, and I’ve used everything I can to avoid doing any real writing (Emails); for the second day in a row I’ve woken up early and fallen back asleep and why?

No excuses Lady Sophia, I’m tired, maybe I’m mad as Hell, and it’s not as if I don’t want to do this, I wouldn’t be here otherwise, and it could be plenty of other things to be sure, but the thing is I want to escape. Yesterday I was at the store, and when I was getting out of my car, this group of black teenagers was walking by, and they burst out laughing at me, and for a split second, I was that loser I once was back in school. The thing is I raised my head up, I didn’t run, put up my hoody, plug in my earphones or anything I kept walking and was pretty damn anxious to fight, but I wanted to, I should have… NO?

How many times have I said, I don’t grow, and maybe it’s not because I can’t afford a wardrobe but presumedly because I’ve become used to hiding, to make myself small, keeping my mouth shut to avoid offending anybody but I do that anyway with my writing? It’s people’s fault, as I said, I have my hood, my earphones, books, everything to avoid people but they don’t like the reminder of their insignificance to the rest of us, and this whole world is like a prison. So I resort to solitary confinement, my “white room” in writing which is my escape from the world and now I realize maybe escape isn’t the goal that I’m looking for dear Lady Sophia.

Like yesterday not with the teens but when one of the clerks overcharged me, and I walked back in there and got my money back, I want to bring the damn ruckus, but at this point, I’m empty still; I meant to get a shrimp dinner but settled on a burger. I didn’t want to deal with any more people yesterday, and now today I’m only mad at myself and yes call me a hypocrite because if I’m going to bring the noise to everyone else, I’m Will and truth is The Will To Escape.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 021 ~Far Cry From Human~

WillLeave a comment

Why do I dream of dystopias and apocalypses, when every day it feels as though the world is ending and every week that I survive I start again only hoping to be better if at all possible but I Am me. “Far Cry From Human”

Sunday, July 15, 2018

Episode 021 ~Far Cry From Human~

To Will:
Give Me One Reason not to panic, because starting today it’s your turn and I’m all panicked out from yesterday, hell remember years ago at Target, that guy almost broke apart on the spot, and it could have been worse. Yes, the jobs can always be worse; Target was a few months, the next post he never went back after one day, the following, fired after three and what do we have now?

I digress, you might tell Inspector Echo all about it, but yesterday I was so sick thinking about what I would have to do that I nearly called out and I ended up putting tags on shoes, but I would like to think all the “motivation” I listened to is why you’re up. You do what you have to do until you can do what you want and like we tell the dog daily “make good decisions,” and the ball is in your court now and there was a time “Omni” wasn’t that bad. Today s brand new and there is always room to approve, I might have fucked it up some but can we Accentuate The Positive and yes you want “Fallout 4” and “Fallout 76” amongst other things, but you’ll have to do better than these Six Impossible Things and me:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Failed, (Day 001 Again)
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
Failed, Yard Needs Cutting, Missing Treats, Bath Time
3. I Will Tell Off “Zibby” If She Calls Me Out My Name (Liberal Arts)
Failed, (Have You Seen Her)
4. I Will Not Get Fired
Completed
5. I Will Post A Review For “The First Purge”
Completed
6. I Will Complete “Apocalypse Rush” (50,000 Words)
Completed

50% *sigh* but I completed the novel, and now you have to carry the torch, and no I don’t mean to burn it… you didn’t make the bed this morning but think of everything you have accomplished; you ate healthy to a degree, the dog’s gotten fresh air, his paper changed, etc. If you can handle the small things sooner or later you’ll make it to the big ones and yet you have to dive into the deep end to become a success is what they say. You feel like you’re not making an impact I know and yesterday despite having a good day minus the sickness I was still a coward, but this is your show, Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Tell Off “Zibby” If She Calls Me Out My Name (Liberal Arts)
4. I Will Not Get Fired
5. I Will Post A Review For “Legacy of Succession” Anna Edwards
6. I Will Add 1,500 Words To “Apocalypse Rush” (54,000 Words)

The only one of those things beyond your control is Zibby, and here I was about to tell you not to worry, but you will so don’t worry about her, instead worry about where you’re going to put all your new games, giving your son his best life, and keeping yourself awake. This Is Your Life because I Am gone, and I want you to say I Am the proud owner of “Far Cry 5,” “Detroit: Become Human,” “Fallout 4” and more, I Am the father of a happy dog, I Am better than I was yesterday, Will you are a Far Cry From Human.

I Will Have No Fear