Tag: Marquis de Joker

Preparation H, Hello Hostage Hotel

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From Prisoner to Hostage, and in both I would say the word you’re looking for is obsession or Stockholm, either way, Hostage will hold you and refuse to let go for a while, and by then you won’t want freedom. “Preparation H, Hello Hostage Hotel”

Preparation H, Hello Hostage Hotel

“You don’t really know somebody if you don’t know their name, right”
Skye Warren, Hostage

I can’t tell you exactly when I began reading Skye Warren… Annika Martin too but I’ve got plenty I’ve seen from Skye Warren’s solo novels, and she has become a name synonymous with kickass reads. Hostage is yet another in a long list of winners, and I should probably start looking up Annika Martin’s novels as well because when you put these two women together.

Speaking of which it looks like Abby is going to get some company; a swing and a missed opportunity by this dynamic duo but I’ll give it five stars anyway, but I think Abby and Brooke might have been something to see. Also, are you telling me you haven’t read “Prisoner” (Criminals & Captives #1), if you have welcome aboard, and if you haven’t… you don’t necessarily have to, but I highly recommend it just because it’s as impressive as Hostage. In any case, you’ll probably see what’s coming regardless, but I’m already wondering will there be a book three; I read this with my erotica reading group, but I would have bought it regardless.

So long story short, Hostage begins near the start of Prisoner and then carries on from where that book ended, and no I don’t want to say conclusion there are several paths left I feel. While Prisoner was a story of the youngest of the crew, Grayson, and his love Abby, Hostage is about the oldest of the squad Stone Keaton and his passion Brooke Carson; stop me if you heard this one, rough criminal, and the golden virgin princess. I mean that family going broke, in high school for most of the story, with a famous name and of course Stone is just flushed with cash, criminal and all.

Common themes but I can say that about the entire genre as well, and these two writers know how to work it into something brand new, once, twice, I want to see more of the crew. I was a bit surprised at the ending myself which is strange, but you can always tell where these stories are going and still you stick along for the ride; you can’t help it.

“It’s like catching fucking sunlight in a jar. I don’t want to let her go.”
Skye Warren, Annika Martin, Hostage

Maybe that’s one of the things I like best, as I once heard in a commercial “between love and madness lies Obsession” and that’s what it was like for both Stone and Brooke; enough that Brooke’s age is a teasing point until she turned eighteen. There was the idea of how much grief Stone gave Grayson when he found love and now that Stone has; well that escalated quickly between him and his crew, the men he calls brothers, but let’s focus on the lovers.

Sadly, there’s nothing new to either of them but names and the circumstances of the situation, Stone Keaton, another victim of the rich who fought his way free and is now looking for revenge not just on one but an entire lot of tormentors. You also have to give him the noble goal of wanting to rescue kids and eventually Brooke, though he took his time with her, nothing but slow seductive time since this is a bit of two books in one and her age. Let me just say for the record it always ends up like this, take away the money and the noble pursuit, and being a guy that has read so many stories from this genre, pull any of this in the real world fellas and no happy endings for you.

Brooke Carson, of course, is in her gilded cage, whether it be from a mother’s expectations, imagine Rose in Titanic just younger and prettier or the criminal that just so happens to have millions of dollars that gets her knocky in the knees and elsewhere. Honestly, you can’t say that her life changed much and that might seem a bit short-sighted but one cage to another, from being a tool of her parents to belonging to Stone, and the world is still the world with just a few less horrible people. The only thing Brooke had to do was choose, and that was a bit of newness since most of the stories I’ve read from Skye Warren the heroine merely is taken but again age, instead of sex he almost murders her the first time.

There was less death, seeing how Prisoners ended; maybe it’s a sign of the times. I won’t give that away, though if you want a taste; Samurai Champloo (Artistic Anarchy) “Tsutchie – Sincerely.” At least that’s how I felt if they made this book into a movie I think. As for the other characters, wealthy parents, mother worried about her reputation, standard rich people, and of course Stone’s crew, bad boys galore and how many times can I say this, money.

“There should be some smooth and nice things left in this world.”
Annika Martin, Hostage

I’m not trying to make it sound dull seeing as how I’m giving it five stars, and that’s almost all nearly storytelling, and you can leave it at that because, spoiler alert. Did the book have flaws, other than things I wish happened; this is novel writing at its best, and there was plenty to like besides the things continually resting in my depraved imagination?

For example, this is the first book I might have seen honestly use the term “fake news,” and that’s just the tip of the iceberg as it plays to today’s lexicon. Anybody who reads this might think the author has something against the rich unless they are undoubtedly hard-working or playing a bit of Robin Hood. I’m not saying that Stone and his crew didn’t deserve every last dime they had after everything that they all endured together. There’s even a bit of Brooke’s weight involved, not being allowed to eat then Stone letting her scarf down a burger and cutting her overly tight fancy dress, or the fact that she didn’t want the discovery of her naked form after.

Brooke’s first time, that scene held a bit of everything, the difference between making love and anyway, though the phone sex was a bit dirtier and raunchier, and the authors made her a uniformed schoolgirl to boot, my weakness. Again I wish something could have taken place between Abby and Brooke; you have close quarters, mostly men and two beautiful women, there are days I tell you that these stories are better than porn visual porn. The ending, I was picturing something else, to be honest not that this ending wasn’t great itself, but sometimes you’re expecting fire and brimstone, but a slow trudge to Hell also works I guess.

Nate’s life is one thing, but it would be amazing to keep following Brooke and Stone and don’t I sound like Detective Emilio Rivera now, talk about an obsession with this story and these two authors. So I hope you are ready if you pick up this title because you’ll be on your backside for a while, hours on end, Preparation H, Hello Hostage Hotel.

Lesson 246 ~Eyes On The Prize~

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I wish I could say I have something dare I dream almost spiritual to fight for but yeah I’m a man I want a life, dignity, respect, but then again I will settle for so little and then what do you call love “Eyes On The Prize.”

Sunday, March 4, 2018

Lesson 246 ~Eyes On The Prize~

“We’ve got a vision.”
“Eyes on the prize, man. Eyes on the prize.” Road Worrier

To Will:
I Am Not Afraid Anymore; if anything you’re your worse enemy so why should it bother you what anyone else says, I’m the nightmare am I right? Maybe it’s the girl we’ve been thinking about because dreams have been few and far between but this one day girl has kept me and hopefully you out of trouble again.

The things we do for the women we don’t know but seriously, how could I have been so blind, what men will do for women, though for the record I wish I wasn’t so damn respectful to those bitches at work. Of course, you won’t say that this week, you’ll say plenty but how much will you live up to, you honestly must start thinking about your goals in life, which is why you’re up again after the mandatory window shopping isn’t that right? The world is full of beauty, and that is slowly driving you mad or madder but still it’s the things we don’t see; at this rate, you’re matching the Christians believing in something like the six impossible things each week like:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 02 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Failed (Day 06 No Fap)
2. I Will Find My Latest Amazon Order
Completed
3. I Will Get My Bank Account Fixed Up Finally
Completed
4. I Will Not Take Any Guff At Work
Failed
5. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
Partial Completion (Do So Much Better)
6. I Will Work On My NaNoWriMo Novel, Finish Two Whole Chapters
Failed

Didn’t they used to say that with too much “Fapping” you’d go blind, is that the concept that is allowing me to see so clearly now; a good theory because you experience more of the beauty but God how you want to. Lust is the one thing you’ll always be sure of without a doubt because you’re already breaking certain promises to yourself but the girl you’ll someday marry will have expectations and as the song goes “practice what you preach.” Speaking of music, here we go again, those six impossible things, and if you could just do one a day, not so hard right:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 06 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Gift Part Of My Submissive’s Closet
3. I Will Post Two Reviews On My Blog
4. I Will Not Take Any Static At Work
5. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
6. I Will Find Something I Want Out Of My Life Honestly

Isn’t that what these things should be about anyway; if anything we always stare at what we need, and then we give into temptation; more and more Christian-like but I don’t have a chance at Heaven. Another theory why we’re always sleeping, because when you’re asleep the monsters can’t get you, and with no dreams or nightmares it’s the only time I’m not letting myself down, and I don’t have to worry what anybody thinks.

“Don’t close your eyes, don’t close your eyes,
This is your life”
Switchfoot – This Is Your Life

You see it now my friend, you’re a man of words, and I ask that you be a man of action, which would indeed be something impossible and will take longer than a week but that’s a prize. Being a man that can stand on his own two feet, he’s straight ahead in the mirror, so you keep your Eyes On The Prize.

“I see. I see pride! I see power! I see a bad-ass mother who don’t take no crap off of nobody!” – Junior Bevill, Cool Runnings

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 244 ~How “Write” You Are~

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A man of my word, a man of few words, but if I had to choose one word, it would be hope, but that’s not going to be enough as Carl Grimes once said, I’m going to need words galore, promises, punishments, posts. How “Write” You Are

Friday, March 2, 2018

Lesson 244 ~How “Write” You Are~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, and I would like to think I’m a man of my word, indeed a man of words, only how often must I admit that words fail me? Then again I talked about having an epiphany the other day, living my life as though my submissive, my wife, the future mother of my children is watching me and for some reason, those words mean a bit more honestly.

Love is exhausting, to say the least, and I can only imagine it will get worse when I have someone; it’s weird how words on paper provoke a different reaction than words that we write on our hearts. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t “love” my job, and as that bastard general manager made clear, there is no contract saying I have to stay with the company, fair enough. Only I gave my word to; I guess myself, to go in when I’m supposed to, I do my best… most of the time, and while my father never taught me the value of a man’s word now, the concept carried weight and didn’t I say I hate lies, without purpose?

“I can’t learn anything from you, I can’t read in some fuckin’ book. Unless you want to talk about you, who you are. Then I’m fascinated. I’m in. But you don’t want to do that do you sport?” Sean/Robin Williams ― Good Will Hunting (1997)

I tell you and the others, Lady Sophia, that I’m going to write every day and here we are two hundred and forty-four lessons in, sometimes two a day just because I’m busy on a particular day. How about my novel though, I think I signed a contract for NaNoWriMo, and I did it in November, but then again I signed an agreement to start editing and January, February just flew by didn’t they? What about love though, what about dignity, do you know how hard it is; better a conversation with Dirty Diana but I lift my feet up when I walk, I talked more at my day job, and when the porn mood strikes… I looked up the girl, downloaded the video of the picture (thank you Pinterest) and haven’t watched it since.

Hell, that must mean I’m already expecting to chalk up another failure but not today; I think I’m starting to see why some sign contracts in blood. Could it be that I have just been using the wrong medium all this time or I need someone to keep tabs on me; back to my hypocrisy, I have my word, but I don’t trust myself sadly.

Why do you think I write out all my secrets here, including my humiliations, my sadism, right down to the days I just FAP… maybe because seeing it, speaking, remembering will one day help me to keep my word I hope, How “Write” You Are.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 239 ~Save Room For My~

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As the song goes, that’s too much sauce, but I’ll probably be eating a box of chicken all this week, speaking of chicken, the work day is going to be horrible, but there is too much room in my bank account. “Save Room For My”

Sunday, February 25, 2018

Lesson 239 ~Save Room For My~

To Will:
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, this week, high hopes, the bigger they are… just trying to explain why I’m in bed again because I can’t afford to be banging my head on a table, my fists through a wall, and talk about open mouth, insert foot. Is there anything as too much good as well, The Walking Dead returns tonight, you’ll record the Winter Olympic Closing Ceremonies, what about The Elimination Chamber, and you’ll need more closet space with all the submissive shopping.

Is my glass half empty or half full, sometimes you’re just going to want to break the damn glass because the good and the bad are just a mess considerably? There is plenty of room in your bed, too much room in your bank account and even this morning I know you’re already stressing about the coming work week. How about the six impossible things, I’m sorry I let you down a lot this week, but maybe it’s not so bad as it appears hmm:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants, (Day 01 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Failed (Day 02 No Fap)
2. I Will Get Out Of The House
Partial Completion (Store)
3. I Will Get My Bank Account Fixed Up
Partial Completion, I know what I have to spend this week
4. I Will Do Something Nice For Indiana Gone’s Move
Partial Completion, last movie night
5. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
Completed, two full days of backyard fun and cake
6. I Will Work On My NaNoWriMo Novel, Finish One Whole Chapter
Partial Completion, Grammarly is a letdown somewhat

Always looking after my dog, still doing for everyone else that there is no room for me, that’s what you will have to contend with this week and since I didn’t work last week… money can be such a hypocrite, too much room in my account and yet it’s getting tight. I would tell you to keep your head up, but even when you’re down you don’t let a single tear fall because that would be too much when you’re in a room of sharks, no drops, tears, blood, otherwise, and yes that is going to become a rule. Speaking of one more list I almost want to call this, a what won’t you do list but six impossible things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 02 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Find My Latest Amazon Order
3. I Will Get My Bank Account Fixed Up Finally
4. I Will Not Take Any Guff At Work
5. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
6. I Will Work On My NaNoWriMo Novel, Finish Two Whole Chapters

One day you’ll have plenty of room on this list for other things, and maybe Amazon is trying to tell you something. Since I ordered something last week, and it should have been here today, so now it’s your problem. I always leave you with issues don’t I but didn’t I say once, difficulties are for tomorrow, even Dr. King saw the promised land, but from the top of the mountain, he didn’t see everyone waiting for him coming down.

As the song goes I hope you’re “staying hungry” so if anything, save room for the fight, but also for the good things too and *sigh* Save Room For My…

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 237 ~What’s In A Name~

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Well, it’s not ambrosia, it’s not a squirming bundle of love, it’s not even an actual breath, but it can be a dream, it can be a prayer to the porcelain god, the pushing of buttons rather than slamming of fists, sigh new characters. What’s In A Name?

Friday, February 23, 2018

Lesson 237 ~What’s In A Name~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore or at least less afraid… let’s go with that because even if you know your friends, your enemies, your family, somebody that you used to know doesn’t erase the fear of everything else you want to give a name to honestly. If Romeo and Juliet lived, if the Hatfields & McCoys could have stopped sooner, if Republicans and Democrats weren’t idiots, how long would it take, this thing that some call peace?

What’s in a name, what does the name “Hazel Fiona Brenton” mean to you? How about “Hanna Mallorie Farone,” “Deo Nikola Kesten,” “Maya Myriam Klose,” “Kellie Isabel Klose,” and yes there will be blood, but you don’t know any of these people. As far as I know, they don’t exist in the real world but within my mind do you know who I see, prostitute, the victim, brothel owner, prostitute, and a great sin, these names have history and meaning in my novel. To this day I still hate the idea of a picture being worse a thousand words, but I suppose the “inspirations” for these characters would hate me, for using their visage storywise.

We’ve also talked about my name before, and I’m still not letting it go which is, of course, my fault; being synonymous with “skeevy,” I can understand why other authors use pseudonyms all the time, and that gave me an idea. I’m no hero and considering people’s false assumptions about me I am nowhere near the villain, but maybe I need a new name. Don’t get me wrong I’m sticking with Marquis de Joker for the time being but perhaps some heroes, some villains wear a mask, and I am no stranger to that truthfully.

On a brighter note at least I’m working on my book right, I’ve been trying to summon up the anger, summon up the blood, instead of another bodily fluid, and that explains why I’m up pretty early because I want to be and not because I have to be. I’m not censoring that bitch’s name because I’m afraid, no I don’t want to give her the satisfaction of being a source of energy these days.

If I were to title my anger something, call my lust anything, name my shame, Will; you can never let them take your name. That’s for damn sure because that’s your life, well, ill, that’s your inch, and that’s my answer, What’s In A Name?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 232 ~Disease This Thing Called~

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I’m just adding to my list of sins, poisons, and diseases, and if I can’t find a cure to such things I might die but I’m still breathing aren’t I, and while they say love is all you need well, my dog is doing his best. Disease This Thing Called

Sunday, February 18, 2018

Lesson 232 ~Disease This Thing Called~

To Will:
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, knowledge and understanding stop fear, well maybe I shouldn’t say stops, no the fear never stops but somewhat redirects it, for example at work, I focus on the location instead of the people. You should hope the people at your day job never hear you talk like that, hell if they listen to you speak ever, like “Pontypool,” it’s a disease this thing called humanity, and you’re infected.

I’m sick, you’re ill, and I don’t know if there’s a cure and while I said I don’t blame the media and often lament that this place is Hell but as the song goes “I’m still breathing, I’m alive.’ Well, you see as I try to start over every week. The past will continue to haunt you though; you will continue to commit my same sins, you will become older and be ashamed, how often do we talk about the poisons in your body. Fear, Guilt, Hate, Lust, Shame, so it looks like you will need several more cures, what else do you have going on these days, let’s look at those impossible things now:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants, (Day 02 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Failed (Day 01 No Fap)
2. I Will Clean Out My Inbox
Failed
3. I Will Get My Bank Account Fixed Up
Failed
4. I Will Figure Out HR
Completed (Hopefully)
5. I Will Focus On The Dog; My Little Boy Is Turning Thirteen The Thirteenth
Partial Completion (A Decent Party)
6. I Will Work On My NaNoWriMo Novel, Finish A Chapter
Failed

With so many failures at this rate I’m resurrecting a dead man, and with that, you can change, like I said before I’m going overboard announcing my death and surprise you haven’t yielded, the fact that you’re up dictates you’re doing something. This week the goal is to redirect, not an uncommon idea, and a story prompt the seven deadly sins making themselves out to be virtues and yes there are seven virtues, but we deal better in crimes don’t you think? A lesson if you must give into lust, work on your Pinterest boards, shop for outfits, to clothe your future submissive, if you must be a glutton then eat real food, try that Walmart Pick-Up. If you’re greedy then make it for more words and time for your impossible things like these six:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants, (Day 01 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Get Out Of The House
3. I Will Get My Bank Account Fixed Up
4. I Will Do Something Nice For Indiana Gone’s Move
5. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
6. I Will Work On My NaNoWriMo Novel, Finish One Whole Chapter

If you’re going to be a sloth get seven to eight hours nightly and spend more time on the couch and not in bed; watch some of the Olympics as well. Wrath would be better served on Walkers in The Walking Dead No Man’s Land and while you’re out and about if you’re going to envy someone make it real like all these interracial couples you’ve seen, strive for that if anything, I’m just saying.

I want you to be proud of yourself, I want the dog to be proud of you, make the future mother of your children proud, make it damn near a disease because life should be something if not a cure but Disease This Thing Called.

“It’s about redirecting.
Evading.
And actually caring about the welfare of your opponent.
So you have to care about yourself.
You don’t have to believe your life is precious, but that all life is precious.
You have to redirect those thoughts, the history that tells you otherwise.
What we’ve done, we’ve done.
We evade it by moving forward with a code to never do it again.
To make up for it.
To still accept what we were.
To accept everyone.
To protect everyone.
And in doing that, protect yourself.
To create peace.” ― Here’s Not Here 06×04, The Walking Dead

I Will Have No Fear

 

Lesson 230 ~The Anatomy of Hi~

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One original sentence, I wonder does that count when you write fiction, how about when every word they want is a lie, or how about when you can’t honestly speak at all or do I just hate people that much. “The Anatomy Of Hi,” sorry I can’t write it ha

Friday, February 16, 2018

Lesson 230 ~The Anatomy of Hi~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore or instead my characters aren’t afraid, you should see how they introduce themselves, and then you’ll know why I’m a writer and live vicariously through them all. It still has to be said though I haven’t been doing any writing recently because I’m busy practicing “Hi” in the mirror and that takes so much out of me on every occasion even when I can’t say it at all, I don’t want to.

Yes I know it sounds like a f*ing excuse, so I’m practicing censorship today; yet for a few minutes, unfortunately, I still remember the b*itch I said goodbye too, the man who said much more than hello and think of the man who should have never spoken. Again my characters don’t say hi, in any traditional sense, to me it invites expectation, but they say “hey” is for horses, and what about Sup, Good Morning, lifting my chin by an inch? Hello gives up the element of surprise, though it might make a lot more sense only that’s the thing, Lady Sophia, my writing never does, and that isn’t a prerequisite to do it, so no more excuses am I right, should I start writing?

If anything I’m falling behind as is between movies and books, The Last Jedi, Fifty Shades Freed, Black Panther, Hostage, and nowadays I’m going to have even more time on my hands. Maybe I’m just upset that my last herculean effort against the bastard I worked for went nowhere and in fact, I wrote an email saying that I won’t be pushing any further. What happened to just writing for me you know, I did finish answering a few text, but that’s par for the course, I guess I shouldn’t knock it though, Fifty Shades started out on the phone.

A phone I never answer because the people on the other end don’t say hi, scammers; what about a woman from one of the “ranches” down Nevada way… yeah, that’s money, but I can respect her at least. My characters introduce themselves with deadly viruses, kidnappings, gunfights, and speaking of which I remember when a gun blast woke people up and now it’s just another day as John Legend would say, “In America, In America, I still can’t breathe in America,” or anywhere just saying.

For now, though I should probably get to writing and worry less about Hi unless my stories suddenly turn normal because who knows what would happen if we all did understand The Anatomy Of Hi.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 225 ~Meant To Be Free~

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Every day I count one more link in the chain, Mr. Scrooge only knew greed, but money is not my evil, lust, guilt, fear, hate, I need to make a list, but hopefully, I’ll stop with seven, my slave masters. Meant To Be Free

Sunday, February 11, 2018

Lesson 225 ~Meant To Be Free~

To Will:
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, merely disappointed though it’s not your fault, not yet… though I’m sure you’ll have a few disappointments honestly, especially considering what week this is and my you will be busy. If it’s any consolation you are a wanted man, like masters wanted slaves, as comedians need jokes, and by women, as a gay best friend, and for other things, if you thought about one in such a way.

Speaking of thoughts, last week it was all worry, but blood and tribulation, fire and glory, the day of the writing in the sky and all I could do is keep my head down because like some slaves I asked what the hell am I going to do with freedom? I’m trying instead of doing, here I had the damn stage, but all I could hear was laughter; yes I laugh at myself, and I cry, well actually I sleep to keep from crying. What about the women; even if I could keep it in my pants, they wouldn’t want it, and unless you do something about it Wednesday you’re going to be alone again.

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants, (Day 07 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Failed (Day 02 No Fap) Okay
2. I Will Stay Employed In My Day Job, Do The Right Thing
Partially Complete, Employed But Wrong
3. I Will Not Know Intimidation By The General Manager
Failed
4. I Will Decide What To Do With My Day Job Account Against That Man
Failed
5. I Will Get My Bank Account Fixed Up
Failed
6. I Will Work On My NaNoWriMo Novel, Finish A Chapter
Failed

As you can see, I can’t be free of my demons, but you have to be free of me, so maybe the goal should be, don’t be like me, I imply that every week don’t I? Don’t let freedom scare you, but how hard did I fight to stay a slave, how much ass did I have to kiss, how I caved to everything but know this, your soul is worth more than $10.20 an hour. There are times I don’t think I even have a soul but then I remember that this is Hell and even if you choose to be here, as they say, better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven, so don’t be blind Will.

Now this week what are those six impossible things and I know again, this is going to be a busy week, but you’ll do better.

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants, (Day 02 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Clean Out My Inbox
3. I Will Get My Bank Account Fixed Up
4. I Will Figure Out HR
5. I Will Focus On The Dog; My Little Boy Is Turning Thirteen The Thirteenth
6. I Will Work On My NaNoWriMo Novel, Finish A Chapter

“dependin’ on me, sometimes we ain’t meant to be free” ― I Am, Jorja Smith

It seems so simple doesn’t it, like dropping a chain, running away, it’s a disease, just like lust, guilt, fear, and now slavery, you might as well be Gus Mancuso from Passengers, every infliction under the sun, I know right?

I’m not expecting a miracle but the keyword this week is “FREEDOM”; four work days right, but one day, I don’t know when just know we’re Meant To Be Free.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 223 ~SORRY, In Capital Letters~

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Not for all the tea in China, see even that makes me feel like I owe an apology, but nobody is getting one unless they have four legs and fit snuggly in my bed or two and some good assets, then I’m sure I’ll know one word. “SORRY, In Capital Letters”

Friday, February 9, 2018

Lesson 223 ~SORRY, In Capital Letters~

“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” Love Story

Hey Lady Sophia,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, talk about job security, I never love anybody so that’s why I am perpetually in business and what about that account for my day job? Something I’m going to have to confess to Inspector Echo. My how I hate wasting words, a genocide of thought and I love writing and for that I’ll repeat it, I’m sorry.

Ironically probably my grandest love at the moment which of course is my dog, can’t read and as much as he tilts his cute little head, he doesn’t understand the word. In truth with all of my writing starting from my name to this moment I’m still trying to understand anything and everything. It might explain my depression and why I haven’t been writing because no one wants to comprehend not even me and as much as I wish I could say I’m beyond description, I’m not worth it sometimes.

“Shut up or die…” Pontypool

If anything Lady Sophia that’s been the lesson for this whole godawful week, shut up or become one of them, the infected cretins always just vomiting out whatever is right at the time. Fine, okay, happy, here’s something else I would never say, Trump is a genius, he may be a moron and say some horrible things but the thing about it is, he doesn’t give a rat’s ass what he says. He never says he’s sorry but what does that mean, how does Trump feel about the American people, if he can scream his thoughts to the world “honestly.”

You know something, I think Love Story (1970) has it wrong, love means always having to say you’re sorry, again I’m forever apologizing to the dog, but I didn’t say it at work. I don’t say it to my family, hell I know a woman that loves me, but I don’t tell her I’m sorry. Talk about being a hypocrite; I started this thinking I’m always offering up apologies but other than to my dog who else is there, me and of course Inspector Echo.

My lack of writing might mean that I finally don’t love myself to try and save myself anymore with my words, but that won’t do at all will it? Would it help if I told you I’m sorry, would it help if I wrote it down a hundred times just like I Will Have No Fear, what will it take for me to listen, listen, hear, and understand this one word SORRY, In Capital Letters?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 218 ~Ready For A War~

WillLeave a comment

I wasn’t ready for their hatred, and or to hate myself, what human being is, we learn to hate, and not to love anymore, but what about winning, tell that to the teams in the Super Bowl, I’m ready to watch… the commercials. “Ready For A War,” no.

Sunday, February 4, 2018

Lesson 218 ~Ready For A War~

“Perhaps it’s fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom… Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution… but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist.” ― Bill Pullman, Independence Day (1996)

To Will:
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, remember, remember the fifth of November, or how about August 6th, what about The HARM of a Cookie, even the time somebody strapped a pair of panties to my jeans in high school? My point today is that nobody is ready; today is the Super Bowl and while I despise football… maybe that’s harsh; I hate my boss I dislike football anyway no one is ready for a fight until you’re already in one, sad to say honestly.

“We’re not built to kill. We don’t have claws fangs or armor. Vets, they came back with PTSD, that didn’t happen because we’re comfortable with killing. We’re not. We can’t be. We feel. We’re connected.” ― The Walking Dead 6×04

Am I trying to talk you out of tomorrow, my friend I am afraid that is out of my hands, you are at war with your soul I know but one man’s destruction is better than unleashing Hell, but somebody smashed your gates, that asshole did and now? Who prepares for this even if they do, nobody ever is but you’re a just not like them, and because you can’t be, no you won’t be, you find yourself here; it doesn’t mean you can’t be better, I always wish that. Speaking of which before I get too carried away what about those six impossible things how did that go for me with this last week?

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants, (Day 32 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Failed, I’m starting again Day 7 (Haley Pullos as Belle Knox)
2. I Will Keep Working The Day Job Despite Everything
Completed barely worked at all
3. I Will Not Spend A Full Day In Bed (Not More Than 8 Hours In 24)
Completed, but already failed 2/4/2018
4. I Will Forget About Last Week
Failed, you kidding me, right?
5. I Will Focus More On The Dog And Pretty Girls
Completed, my dog and Indiana Gone was here, that’s enough?
6. I Will Work On My NaNoWriMo Novel
Completed, isolated one chapter

Though I failed at a couple this shows that I do have what it takes to win at least to some degree but what about tomorrow, the day after, this whole month, look at it this way you just have to carry this week. How long does it take to win a war though because surely you haven’t hated yourself forever and that’s the problem with these things you rarely remember why you’re fighting, but you soldier on because there is no other way? Trust me I’ve tried, words fail, silence fails, what about competition, it worked for the Greeks, and now cities are set to flames, I want peace.

This week though I doubt you will see that, shouldn’t that make the list of six impossible things, don’t hold your breath, literally because this week will be a fight but besides that what else:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants, (Day 07 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Stay Employed In My Day Job, Do The Right Thing
3. I Will Not Know Intimidation By The General Manager
4. I Will Decide What To Do With My Day Job Account Against That Man
5. I Will Get My Bank Account Fixed Up
6. I Will Work On My NaNoWriMo Novel, Finish A Chapter

Honestly, wish you had an Annie Cresta to your Finnick Odair, is it ideal to fight when you do it for the ones you love I wonder; I love my dog like pancakes but this war my friend, in the end, it’s only you. As Haymitch told Katniss, I leave you with this “Stay Alive” but why don’t I ask you to win because you have to want to but nobody ever is you know, nobody’s Ready For A War.

I Will Have No Fear