DIRECTOR, Producer, Lover, Oh My

A reader is to a voyeur as a writer is to an exhibitionist, with some books we’re alone in the dark but with “The Director” talk about lights, camera, action; looking through this author’s eyes is just extraordinary. DIRECTOR, Producer, Lover, Oh My

So filled by terror, there wasn’t room for shame or modesty while baring every part of myself to strangers. ― The Director, Lily White (2017)

The lack of the author’s fear is what impressed me the most with this title, no shame, no modesty, plenty of terror and nothing to apologize for, though I’m still not giving it five stars, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t wonderfully wicked. A work like this is supposed to make you feel it, to see it, to make it believable and this. Honestly, I wish I could see it on my bookshelf; I hope I could see it on the big screen just saying, I’ve probably seen it in porn here or there I’m sure.

I saw once that we read to know that we’re not alone and I look at my writing, my life, and see the flack I take for it, but again Lily White doesn’t give a rat’s behind she shines the camera directly in your face and dares you not to look away. Maybe that should scare some people but I’ve never published anything like this and she did it, how I would like to know what was going through her head at the time of this but maybe I should focus more on Emma Hart. Now I won’t say the story is somewhat original but this fictional work does give a peek into an all too real world, mentally, physically and the line between right and wrong; yeah wrong and yet I read on indeed.

It’s the usual state of affairs, good girl, bad boy, and if you’re a fan of the dark erotica genre you can pretty much guess what happens next, but it is still well worth the read. No BDSM because such a practice involves rules while the sexual escapades in this are anything goes, and as Jigsaw would say, there will be blood and not just that of the victims. I was also quite fascinated with the artist, and I don’t just mean the author but “The Director,” and it calls into question what would we do to express art in such a form as this.

That’s what got me the most about Ethan Cole, keeping in mind the crime and the evil it was revealing humanity, how easy it is to toss it away and then pick it right back up but maybe we shouldn’t be able to. Speaking of which I didn’t want to put this down, but that’s like being one of the people behind the camera, however, could I continue to look.

Well first let’s start with the hero and villain, no those are the wrong words, the victim and the artist, “beauty and the beast,” I could go on, for now, let’s just say Emma and Ethan/The Director. For such dark subject matter, I found myself transfixed with the beauty of it all from the scenes Ethan shot, to the evolution of both characters and there is a moment that will break your heart entirely devastating.

Emma starts out as the typical woman, what is that wrong to say, walks out on a date with a man only to end up with several worse ones, and the devil himself Ethan. It’s with him that she is forced to evolve or maybe forced is too much counting the fact that she eventually understands where he is coming from, let’s hear it for Stockholm Syndrome of course. From victim to a warrior, to lover Emma pretty much goes through the usual story progression but the ending I have seen in a few stories.

Ethan, now usually I find myself falling in love with the victim but Ethan; I feel like I know him well, any artist and it doesn’t matter which kind whose heard no you don’t do that because it’s risqué, people won’t understand, are you crazy will relate to him. Yes, he’s a monster, but if Emma can fall in love, I can look at the guy as living the dream and after all Emma would become his masterpiece to be sure. What about the lies, I’ve seen those from the most innocent of things like “The Giver” when it comes to our life’s work our creations and the fact that we live such boring lives, seriously Ethan makes good points.

I was also all about the voyeurism and exhibitionism, along with ravishment concepts and it makes me feel somewhat taken aback but then the author wrote this, it’s a fetish to many, and even shows that say this is brutal still show it. Anyway, the focus stays mainly on Emma and Ethan and any other characters are merely extras, like on Ethan’s stage there is only a man and woman.

I can honestly say it’s a four out of five stars and leave it at that, compelling and wholly visceral but comes just short of that spark but honestly a favorite. Also spoilers ahead but as I so often state, in this genre, it always follows the same formula and if we’re lucky a twist here or there, though not The Director so much honestly.

When it comes to stories like this, there is usually a span of a few days, months, a year, but the fact that story looked like it could use a montage of Emma in action. It makes the book seemed rushed by the end, not surprising, not unexpected just quick, though the revelations brought out the artist in me and what would you do with no inhibitions? In a way in reminds me these true-life stories of survival, Lily White’s tale could easily be on the evening news, with her heroine Emma recounting the horror.

Though the most heartbreaking portion wasn’t Emma at all and I won’t spoil it but that twist, talk about being a killer. The idea that even in Hell the concepts of mercy, compassion, even humor are allowed to exist even amongst all the sex and death that prevail overall. What about the bad guy winning, in these stories the villain always finds a sure way to love but I’m not just talking about Ethan, and you’ll have to read to know more about that part.

You know what you’re getting into, a broken heart and the typical ending but the lights, the camera, the action, there is a reason that porn is continually evolving, and your tastes may change by certain degrees with this title. For better or worse, this is honestly so much better; Lily White is an incredible author and this work wow DIRECTOR, Producer, Lover, Oh My.

Lesson 199 ~I Learned To Remote~

My DVR is full of things I meant to watch or like any library, full of stories I have yet to see and still, I only gather more, not wanting to let one go because god help me if I watch the news today at some point or find love… “I Learned To Remote.”

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Lesson 199 ~I Learned To Remote~

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore because I’m sure you already know by now you married one big nerd if May 4th doesn’t tip you off every year; of the days I have to remember your birthday, our anniversary, and days that call for chocolate. The DVR will handle the rest because I would prefer to take you out to the movies, the world could use another hero, despite what Tina Turner sang.

Another excellent use for the TV besides us laughing at whatever YouTube has to say, or just the background noise, and the news predicting the end of the world. I suppose whatever we watch you’ll find your way into my arms, someway my love, with a horror flick, in watching a movie based on the book, and hopefully not with you falling asleep… we start the series; we’ll finish it. Is Paw Patrol still a thing, lucky that we found each other because we can take turns watching it with the kids and then be adults crying over fake tigers, and our favorite characters on The Walking Dead, you think?

I must admit to this particular and rare occurrence that happens twice every four years when I become a typical guy and root, root, root for the home team during the Olympics, good thing I found myself a “Cheerleader.” Again with the music player, laugh track, a reason to cuddle up next to you; did I mention that I’m an avid gamer, well whenever my next book hits and I have some downtime. So you ask me what will it take for me to put the remote down period or even to hand it over to you, well did I marry a fangirl or what?

Enough gushing over me and my usual LSV television preferences, you only watch once, unless you’re hopelessly devoted and that might explain why I can’t take my eyes off of you. Was that as cheesy as any love story, does that mean we still have to watch another one, I might stop to ask about the woman I married but seeing as how we’re trying not to use television as some technology adept makeshift babysitter…

Maybe we should watch more TV but I promised you forever and always, and one day I’ll brag to the grandkids with so much new technology, I Learned To Remote.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 180 ~The Coming Attractions Hmm~

I don’t need to go to the lobby to get myself a treat and any day can honestly be hump day if you find somebody willing or find yourself in love, and I usually avoid the chick flicks which might be stupid on my part. “The Coming Attractions Hmm”

Thursday, December 28, 2017

Lesson 180 ~The Coming Attractions Hmm~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
No Fear, even if it’s caught on camera, though I think I’ve said before that my reputation is probably already ruined and it’s just a manner of time. Anyway voyeurism, exhibitionism, and even the general fear of getting caught, what better place is there than a movie theater, okay I can think of plenty, but I’ve been to an adult theater, to be honest, Dirty Diana.

Now was Star Wars: The Last Jedi, that bad, hell I’m going to see it again today, but it’s something about being in the dark fantasizing about Rey or Rose, okay it doesn’t just have to be Star Wars. As I said, I’ve been to an adult theater a few times and let me just say that it’s nothing like the porn movies I’ve seen or maybe there just aren’t that many options here. The only good news is I have seen some genuinely gross things but wasting ten bucks is still losing ten dollars if you don’t like the company you keep and I can’t even remember the movie that was showing; like that’s ever the point just saying.

I’ve always imagined though I would take some girl at some point and no I’m still not in a sharing mood yet people watching me and her together, why oh why do I find myself so brave when it comes to sex and violence. That explains so much, get me huffy or horny, and I don’t care what people think about me for a while; to think I’m quite respectful in the regular theater, I like movies. The thing about it is, I would get hotter in a proper film, porn is great and all but I can usually make anything into a porno flick.

Not only that, give me a girl that likes to watch porn at the house, though I’ve freaked some girls out, am I ashamed of my kink, no but since the point is to get the girl… Better to leave it on Netflix, Amazon, and the latest Hollywood blockbuster, and my vanilla watch list indeed.

Anyway, my “Fucket” List includes, sex in an adult theater, in a standard theater, and backstage someplace, “Dawson’s Creek” but today will be an ordinary day, The Coming Attractions Hmm.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 016 ~Addiction~

The father of zombies has passed away but his legacy will live on along with my fandom and I can be a fan of much worse things, I am. Addiction, some of those things are poisons and diseases and of course, doesn’t technology make slaves of us all

Monday, July 17, 2017

Lesson 016 ~Addiction~

Hey Lady Lu,
First, let me say, RIP George Romero, the man created his own genre and is responsible for my preoccupation with death, not my own, zombies my dear zombies. Of course, the rest of world, my country, for the most part, seems obsessed with death, leave it to billions to end the living and just one man to make sure the dead stay down for good.

Dead men tell no tales, George Romero and some law enforcement have put an end to that don’t you know; another reason everyone is trying to live forever. What are we afraid we’ll miss the next meme, getting a few more likes, our chance to be famous, and of course we don’t want anyone finding out all of our secrets do we. No, Luna, we want to broadcast them out loud ourselves or maybe we just seek to leave a part of ourselves, inspiration perhaps as George Romero has done.

Now I can’t say if the man could have been addicted to all things zombie and yes I’m well aware I’m a fanboy myself of zombie culture but today’s lesson is about our addictions. I wish I could be nicer about it, call them passions, enthusiasms, interests and the like but I’m not one to look on the bright side of life, despite what the song says. So what is an addiction because I’m never one to take my own word for these sort of things so of course, I have been doing a bit of reading on the subject.

“Addiction is a persistent, compulsive dependence on a behavior or substance.” The Free Dictionary

“the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.” Dictionary.com

“a brain disorder characterized by compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli, despite adverse consequences.” Wikipedia
Would I call my zombie fix as my friend would call it an addiction, I would say I could be reading a book except “I Am Legend”, “The Walking Dead” and hundreds of others are books so if it is, I wouldn’t call it a bad one. Then again Lady Lu you remember me and books at school once upon a time and then when I was growing up, let’s just say I learned all of Victoria’s Secrets…Cara Delevingne nowadays.

“There’s no time for us,
There’s no place for us,
What is this thing that builds our dreams, yet slips away from us.” – Queen, Who Wants To Live Forever (1986)

You know when I was in school I was “addicted” hmm… obsessed, manic, anxiety driven to read, and no not my school books but anything else, especially end of the world scenarios or final battles, from Alas, Babylon to “The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe”. My parents, my teachers, pretty much everyone I knew considered this a problem, yeah I was the epitome Henry Bemis “Time Enough at Last”, and people wonder why I pray for the end of the world, as long as a library is still standing or I find a way to generate power, I’ll be good.

There are so many worse things Luna, I know people who drink plenty and to be perfectly honest, some have problems, some don’t but it’s annoying as hell but I don’t drink do I. How about this girl at work who quit smoking and then I see her yesterday, not smoking but vaping and I asked was there a difference and she said “scientifically yes” What about drugs in general, yeah I’m no one to judge because I take pills to try and keep me reasonable and when I’m without them… if today was any indication I screw up plenty.

“Since the day I met you
And after all, we’ve been through
I’m still a dick
I’m addicted to you
I think you know that it’s true
I’d run a thousand miles to get you
Do you think I deserve this?” – Simple Plan, Addicted (2003)

This is the worst of it for me love/lust, let’s just put it under the term of intimacy and like most guys, it’s in our freaking genetics, our biology, and like most medications made in the USA the cure is worse than the virus. Don’t worry Luna, between memories of “the incident” yet again, having a “fix” this morning, I think I’m back on the Ned Flanders band wagon but I’m sure I’ll be back to being “Pookie” in no time. Isn’t that just another one, if it isn’t violence, or “stuff and things”, I’m addicted to pop culture and that’s not helping anybody really.

“We just have to hope they remember the antidote.
That’s assuming they ever bothered to create one.” Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Babel

If you ask me how most addictions start it’s the fact that no one wants to be here, now tell me what’s wrong with here, why does it take all these things to feel or even to dull the senses of what’s here, to live through this. Once upon a time I swore, I would have one more addiction, one more vice, and then I would grow up and that I did Luna, from Pokémon to The Hunger Games, and now erotica.

How about the time I swore I would never be like one of those people walking around glued to their phone, what happened to the guy that would sit at the lake all day lost in the water or lost in his own mind? I walk around Luna watching while the masses played Pokémon and now they have those fidget spinners and for some reason, I feel better than them.

“Look at yourselves. Unplug from your chairs, get up and look in the mirror. What you see is how God made you. We’re not meant to experience the world through a machine.” – Surrogates (2009)

We’re lost my dear Luna, some more than most, I hate those fidget spinners, I abhor the idea that people can’t sit through a movie in a theater or even on my couch without checking their phone every two minutes, people are killing people because of texting while driving, animals who should be free are made examples of because of stupid moms on smartphones and hunters. I’m no better though, I thought that machines would make me free and we’ve talked about freedom but they also make me, what was her word “skeevy” am I right? The fact remains though the simple fact that I can talk to you like this, that there is some sort of record at all, isn’t that worth something, is it safe to say this right here is an addiction?

“Mr. Henry Bemis, on an eight-hour tour of a graveyard.” Time Enough at Last

I’m sorry if I sound preachy when I talk to you, again you’re the best therapist I know and here’s something else I know, I’m sounding like that TV show Mr. Robot, which can’t be a good thing. The fact that I’ve never watched it but thanks to Facebook I know the “F*uck Society” monolog means either A: I’m more lost than I thought or B: I’m actually seeing this stuff first hand and it’s just coming out of me. Personally one of my biggest addictions is anxiety and that’s not one I chose but for me, it justifies the rest if you only saw what I did this morning all on the grounds of avoiding social interaction, even with all this technology we have.

So what have I learned, we’re all sick, all addicts, that it’s all in the eye of the beholder, and that I don’t know how to stop it. Well actually I know but that would make me sound like a psychopath and I’m trying not to be; Ned Flanders Addiction.

“I really don’t hold with knowing the future, even my own, which is short. I mean, if we knew for a fact there was an afterlife, and that the afterlife was bliss eternal, we’d all commit suicide in order to be able to enjoy it.” Mandemus – Battle for the Planet of the Apes (1973)

“We are the Walking Dead” Rick Grimes, The Walking Dead