Log 222 ~Angry, WILLful, Arrogant, More~

SHE said I have anger problems, and yes, that makes me mad because it means I’m like my father, or as Master Yoda puts is Fear leads to anger, and then to hate, but perhaps I have other qualities? “Angry, WILLful, Arrogant, More.”

Saturday, February 8, 2020

Log 222 ~Angry, WILLful, Arrogant, More~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so how can I be mad. Now I won’t lie to you; if I were part of the 1%, I would be angry losing my paper. I’m not even close yet, but I hate spending money. Yes, I know Lady Lu, this coming from the man that spends money on GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS. Isn’t that exactly why it’s taking so long to talk to you tonight? Last night I was plenty angry with Trump, and so I am tonight. A wealthy white guy is proving once more that his kind can get away with anything. Only this is supposed to be about me, am I right?

A Wednesday night because I don’t feel like getting up Thursday morning? Lady Lu, that’s something that makes me angry, my laziness. I spent another afternoon not doing anything for myself. No, I slept only to wake up to the 1% doing away with the law. I would say than anger takes a lot out of me, but yeah, I did the same thing yesterday. Today though, I almost lost it with “Coal.” I let pretty girls get away with a lot but the ugly ones? Okay, so you’re telling me that’s not nice, but I do mean her personality; for the most part. I finished Dennis Hof’s book on Audible again today. It only got me madder at myself that I can’t be him. Well, I could, but that would require me to get off my behind. I tell Cherry that sometimes if I could only get to work and I shouldn’t even be talking about her. Black Pantyhose/Stockings and “Fechikano!” and that’s that.

So we have early mornings, STUPID people at work, and my lackluster attitude if it’s not my chosen field. What about other stuff I can’t do, the humming is still going on Lady Lu. I could make a call, but what about tomorrow? What about my forgetfulness? Did I say something about leaving the trunk open all night before once?

If I can’t trust myself with every day, how can I remember even to make a phone call, as I would? I still miss Far Cry 5 and reading, don’t I? “THEY,” say we have two wolves inside us, and they worked together to eat a third. There’s HATE, and there’s FEAR. Always hungry, never full, Angry, WILLful, Arrogant, More.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 203 ~Here’s To Nights Of Living~

My nights would be, well more my life would be NC-17 because what makes me feel so alive, as in the movie “Just Looking” ahem “An act of love,” but for now, I don’t need to be awake all night waiting. “Here’s To Nights Of Living.”

Monday, January 20, 2020

Log 203 ~Here’s To Nights Of Living~

Hundred And Twentieth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I still don’t know if I would build a time machine. Today is Saturday, and I thought one of my big worries would have vanished. I swear, how long ago was it that I read How to Stop Worrying and Start Living? What about Naughty Little Christmas? When was the last evening that I played Far Cry 5 and lived through the whole session? I’m not going to lie to you, Madam Justice, but I talked about my current “obsession” with trains and buses. Train To Bust didn’t go creating itself nor did A Load For Cherry, my newest art piece.

So why have I been staying up half the night? If anything for this evening’s activities, I’ll be doing battle with Jacob Seed and then taking his bunker. Anything to take my mind off tomorrow, but you know how my old man is, I was supposed to sit on my hide and wait. Now let’s be honest, I’m a homebody; nights out on the town, don’t do it for me, Madam Justice. Sure, when I open my brothel or after my bestseller, there will be movie premieres and such. Guests will travel at the dead of night to visit my establishments. I see myself as the boss in Saints Row: The Third. Of course, I could tell you my real plans for the night, but I’m pushing PG-13, as for right now. If my life were a movie, it would be NC-17 almost all the time, and still, I want to be a family man.

For now, I am, sitting here with My Dæmon sleeping. I have a full belly, and the world isn’t ending. As my motivations would shout, I am blessed. Thank you for all my blessings, show gratitude for how life is at this moment. I often talk about LUST though being my great sin, what about GREED. The perfect day, what about the perfect night? I want to be out at the movies with a few pretty girls. Besides the stuff they would do, we would go to a “certain” type of club. I could spoil the movie for another girl. Also, I want a five-star hotel and my video camera. I wouldn’t worry about anything in the morning. Tonight I am alive, Far Cry 5, working on my stash, bed?

Here’s To Nights Of Living

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 237 ~Pen Hand Strong Will~

I began in the midnight hour, and I’m only now rising, I was busy keeping my guts down, and if I had done so earlier well, I wouldn’t feel this way; “Looked Who Grossed Up” and that wasn’t even the worst night but now? Pen Hand Strong Will.

Saturday, February 23, 2019

Episode 237 ~Pen Hand Strong Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, at the moment, even if I had it, I would spend it all to make this feeling go away. Do you know why I always ask the question? Because my first impression, insinuation, and involvement is still the way wrong answer.

It doesn’t explain why I am talking to you so late tonight or early this morning. Other than the fact that I feel like I might vomit and like I said yesterday. That proves one has guts but who wants to see that. We’re not doctors, Walkers, and even knights wore armor. If that’s what thing I learned tonight, I’m no prince on a white horse. Lady Luna I’ve come to the understanding that I’m one of two things and neither would allow me to sleep. Option A being, I’m a monster, I scare people, I’ve said it myself time and time again. Option B I’m nothing, I’m no one, and that’s why there is no need to wish, whisper, or write because who sees. Well, she did and convicted me, she did and called me out, she did and canceled, she did cause I’m nothing.

It hasn’t tasted the same you know, an ICEE, I still drink them, but on one day I nearly killed a dog. He slammed into my car door, but the taste I miss from my drink. The same with IBC Root Beer when my “father” slapped me, and they say alcohol numbs the pain. What about sleep, I haven’t gotten to rest a night without blogging first, and you know what caused that. Lesson 001 Looked Who Grossed Up and here we are again Lady Luna. Now I’ll never be able to look at Pokemon. Think about that Crazy Town song Butterfly. Listen to Michael Jackson’s Butterflies without thinking of what happened tonight. I’m sure you’re asking what the hell, so I guess I’m ready.

I asked a woman out once; she said nothing. I asked her out again this month; she said nothing. She showed butterflies around her and her daughter I posted “Butterfree” on Instagram. I quoted Crazy Town Lyrics to Butterfly, and here we are. Blocked, no bye, and with the belief, I’m the worse creature to roam the planet Earth. No, a cretin, worthless and cowering afraid of losing everything. Now I want to erase it all because it’s easier to destroy myself than watch others leave me once again, been there. Why do you think I’m always on the brink, forever seeing the end but no I repeat the mistakes of the past. My how a year and a half passed August 6, 2017, and now February 22, 2019, in the same horrific situation. Damn Pen Hand Strong Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 179 ~In My Father’s House~

With these hands as the song goes but I’m afraid I don’t have an answer to what they could do, should do, or would do and much like when I was failing Math all I could genuinely do is write out more questions, again and again. “In My Father’s House.”

Wednesday, December 27, 2017

Lesson 179 ~In My Father’s House~

Forgive Me Echo,
No Fear, for as Elton John put it, “If I was a sculptor, but then again, no,” I’m not much of a master builder, or a craftsman of any sort and yet I dare to call myself a writer. Maybe because my writing isn’t meant to make people comfortable by any means, my hell, my white room, or red room as the case may be most days.

It seems I go out of my way to make people comfortable, well as much as I can and the thing is no matter what I’m never comfortable even in my place, my comfort zone they call it. Not to sound like a Mad World but it my bed sleeping is the best I can do when it comes to myself and anybody else. You know what’s truly sad is that even my death will be some great inconvenience that I feel guilty about and that’s my sin for today, the fact that I’m always in the way every day.

Now how can that be a sin, I don’t mind watching the world burn as much as the next man, but I’m supposed to be doing something, and not just working but doing it well. Perhaps my failures are catching up to me, I mean didn’t I pay my bill, didn’t I go shopping and the fact that I can do all of these things and can’t put a coffee table together. I got the hammer and the nails… makes me think about my crucifixion but even in that, I find myself lacking and honestly what am I complaining about I should consider myself lucky?

In my father’s house are many mansions or something like that in the bible, but I believe I have told you about my sloth-like ways plenty, I can’t stand being idle, but I can’t stand being a waste of air either, another reason I don’t talk perhaps? Working with my hands is not for me, whether it’s building furniture or trying to remake the universe in my twisted, distorted image.

So is that what I’m apologizing for tonight, a lack of purpose or for failing at the things I give myself to contribute to myself, to a girl, to the world at large. Do you forgive me Inspector Echo for this travesty of life or even survival as I dream yet again of one-day being lost, In My Father’s House?

I Will Have No Fear

Brighter Love

Someone asked me about the first girl I ever loved… we were never together yet do I regret that she is in my heart, maybe forever? I want more than one night but I also want love and in the end, I just don’t want to be alone. Brighter Love

So I’ll pretend they’re all wishes

In-between kisses

Seeing stars and a hundred new

With each and every second

How Bizarre


is this thing they call love

And I’m not running because

Another second or two

Like Armageddon

I’ll forget how it starts

“I love you?”

Now that is the question

The answer’s not far


Only it’s not enough

God knows, what we are made of

Or if you would love me like you do

Maybe I’ll never see you again

*sigh* If I had one more star


Yet I see the light

Just if this is the end… tonight

Tomorrow, you would be the one I choose

Here on earth, as it is in Heaven

Wherever you will go, is where WE are


Copyright © 2015 Second Circle Creations, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.


Inspired by: Mia Rose, Steve Winwood “Higher Love”, OMC “How Bizarre”, Scott Mallone “What We Are Made Of”, Ellie Goulding “Love Me Like You Do” Fifty Shades of Grey Soundtrack, Lenny Kravitz “Again”, Tangled (2010) “I See The Light”, “This Is The End” (2013), The All-American Rejects “It Ends Tonight”, The Calling “Wherever You Will Go”, and a great many thanks to “Fallout 4”


See Me Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWekkBfC2Xo

Mia Rose (Brighter Love)