Tag: Family

Hey There Delilah, My Maiden

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Would the motto of Heavenly Ministries be, to abandon all hope ye who enter here, well if that hope is five stars but what’s wrong with four; question what is wrong with religious people liking pretty girls; just me then? Hey There Delilah, My Maiden

The things you can get away with in the name of God; someone once said “Dom unto others as you would have God Dom unto you” and that someone ended up in jail for a little less than what this book entails overall. “The Maiden” by Celia Aaron is another title ripped straight from the headlines or at least it should be, we’ve got the stupidity of the “Prosperity Gospel,” the evil of the Catholic Church, and they made a mini-series about David Koresh’s cult.

With an understanding of this I rather watch The Maiden, if they ever thought to make it a movie because it’s a remarkable book, I was hooked and so is my erotica reading group, I would have read the sequels myself if they weren’t already reading them. This title hit home for me quite literally from the location to the type of church I knew as a child, to the family dynamic such as “perfect obedience.” There is a stark contrast between what is known as BDSM and what the general public believes, and using the church’s teachings to show that is awesome, the lives of the maidens and the families within Heavenly Ministries community.

Long story short we have this young woman, renamed Delilah who joins the cloister maidens of Heavenly Ministries, a bit of a convent; two words “Virgin Territory” a movie worth watching. Since when did convent become synonymous with the word brothel, and they have one. Delilah’s life is now the property of The Prophet. More importantly is the rights of his son Adam Monroe, another father-son duo *sigh* though the family is more nuclear, minus having a dog. The twist is what she hopes to find out from this church/cult; now those are synonyms being how I know the church to be; anyway another good girl, bad boy with kind intentions type of tale honestly.

Let me put it out there how churches will use beautiful women to entice people but it’s a thin line as with The Prophet, the people know one side, but he hides the other from them; sex as long as nobody talks about it. You should also be aware that as I said there is BDSM, but anyone that knows about abuse may do well to skip this though I think in both aspects “The Maiden” is rather tame somewhat.

Maybe I just read darker material though already being on the second book “The Prophet” that the darkness is cranking up, but of course that will be for another review I’ll try to stay on this one. As far as Delilah and Adam Monroe are concerned, I guess I do tend to lump all these characters together from different titles, the only thing that changes are motivations, and so there has to be something especially jarring, and with this, there wasn’t that in the Maiden.

Delilah other than her looks is the somewhat righteous girl looking to find justice which means infiltrating The Cloister as a Maiden, a group of twelve holy women who are to be placed by The Prophet’s direction to the rich, the powerful, and others The Prophet can use. Delilah without a doubt has a fiery personality which needs some breaking if she is to serve and that task falls to her protector, Adam. How does one find the truth in a web of lies because it becomes quite clear that is all that exists as the maidens begin their training and here’s a hint yes they will be on their knees, but it will be a lot less praying, shocker?

Adam is a man that I can relate to, hates his dad, doesn’t believe anything about the church that he belongs to, finds holy women hot as hell but moreover a woman that wants to tell him no but knows better. Now he can’t be the perfectly righteous man, these stories are never about that, but his feelings for Delilah drive him to defy his father and lead to some actions that could mean the death of them both. He also loves his mother; I swear if you give some guy washboard abs, a dark history, some unforgivable crime and make him declare allegiance to a girl, and you have 95% of the genre easily.

Other characters such as The Prophet himself as a hypocrite or Noah Monroe who is desperate for some semblance of a family and Grace the Head Spinner who I would take to be like Aunt Lydia from The Handmaid’s Tale only younger. We also have a slight bit of politics and heroics from everyone including other maidens and spinners and the network that keeps such an organization intact and running smoothly.

So why four stars and not five, other than my usual ranting, raving, carrying on about the general state of this genre the sex was kept somewhat to a minimum, only a pair of maidens I believe losing their virginity. I should add a spoiler alert but if you want to know if you should read this; if you don’t get offended by those who take God in vain or want a break from seeing what churches honestly do and would instead imagine it, or if you like dark erotica, then please have at it.

As I’ve already said there is a lack of sex, here I was expecting an orgy, but the maidens must know virtue to a certain extent for any prospective buyers, so don’t set your hopes so high but the tease is worth it. The Prophet is a typical bad guy, on the one hand, he spouts all the religious doctrine to rule but he is like any other leader wanting the money and the power that comes from his position, but we’re supposed to be figuring Adam out anyway. Delilah with her quest doesn’t quite have a plan besides her work learning about the compound, seeking who she needs to know and payback but how will this bring all of Heavenly down on them?

Some of my favorite parts are near the end, that’s not a bad thing, but they keep you on the edge of everything else, and you have one more chance to turn away; ready, READY, okay when Adam and Delilah have sex so she won’t lose her virginity to The Prophet. There is also the escape attempt of the maidens from the compound that I couldn’t put down; I was as hooked as Adam was keeping Delilah from her freedom. Other than the sex there was the touching moment between Adam and Noah; I did say no dogs, but Noah has a lizard and a cat not that The Prophet wouldn’t kill them too, showing that Noah has a heart like Adam and if animals die, so help me God.

To think this isn’t my first read from Celia Aaron, I’ve also read “Dark Protector” another four out of five stars like this, always on the edge of glory and what will I give “The Prophet” which is the second book in “The Cloister Trilogy.” Until then my mother would be happy to know I’m back in the church but probably not this one but with such pretty girls and a man here or there I can relate to truthfully Hey There Delilah, My Maiden.

I’m Happy; I’m Feeling Vlad

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Money isn’t the key to happiness only it might help, or so I’m assuming and add in bad boys and pretty daughters and the promise of war, and you got quite a story on your hands, so how do I feel about this one? “I’m Happy; I’m Feeling Vlad”

Maybe that would worry me if I was talking about Vlad the Impaler although when it comes to Vlad by Ker Dukey and K. Webster, well I would choose sex over violence any day but honestly, why can’t we have them both. Vlad (The V Games #1) has that and even more; enough that I have to wonder how anybody finds out so much about the Russian mob and I’m sure I asked this in a review before but what is it about women and criminals. I mean bad boys for sure but a man has to try and kill you once or twice to get on the radar, Buffy The Vampire Slayer that much.

Speaking of Buffy we have the big sister and little sister dynamic and no spoilers yet, but you know what’s going to happen from the moment you start reading, all that’s left is the how and why but if you understand the genre? As for anything else you need to know, the authors are kind enough to start with a who’s who of characters, some cannon fodder but I found myself bookmarking that page as one character after another emerged. Also, Vlad’s love story isn’t the only love story, but what’s love got to do with most of it anyway, but again there’s plenty of sex and criminal activity, but most of it is glossed over to a certain degree.

Much like The V Games themselves, and for me that’s a high selling point to read the next one only because they make the games sound so exciting but all the characters lives are games amongst themselves. For everybody being inside their heads, I found myself after a day of reading thinking about how such and such a role would have to be taken care of to make a happy ending. Almost every individual had to let some things slide, except for one as you need a sequel though why she didn’t get top billing. Well, I guess you have to stick with V so if you liked V For Vendetta and a bunch of knives but other than being brought to you by the letter V that’s the only similarity between them, being honest.

So yes I was happy with the story overall, and I get that the authors are setting up a series, but maybe some things should have been left to the imagination mainly the V Games until they were ready to be revealed. Allow me to follow suit with a few of our characters and don’t worry there will still be plenty to go around trust me on that, and soon they will grow on you pretty quickly when the mind games begin, there’s a lot.

For the moment we begin with the typical bad boy that’s super-rich Vlad Vasiliev “Vile. Vicious. Villainous.” as if that doesn’t scream we’re the bad guys which makes us the best guys in the scenario. As in most of these tales besides the money and divine qualities that make women go all knocky in the knees, I relate to him; it never works if the guy isn’t wealthy or isn’t a prisoner somehow, e.g., Stay by Emily Goodwin, just saying.

We then have the two sisters Diana and Irina “Shadow” Volkov the beautiful older sister and the shadow who is a bit of a nerd that, of course, is head over heels in love with the main protagonist without a doubt. Can’t say I ever had a problem with my half-brother but having a younger sister myself she could get away with murder which is another idea explored in this book and even more in the sequel if I had to guess. Not giving it away as the synopsis tells you that Vlad prefers the younger to the older now all you have to figure out is how they make that happen other than all the sex; that’s a joke.

There is a wide array of other characters from Vlad’s family living up to the villainous stature though we don’t get much of Vika and the book does an excellent job of making you feel that good riddance when it comes to her. The father of the Volkov sisters uses his daughters like pawns as though this is the middle ages and his daughters can only help, and then there is Vas which brings up that sons are preferable to daughters. There are other families and various servants or alliances to be had, and maybe this explains why I don’t watch Game Of Thrones or a ton of soap operas.

You do feel a part of this world though as you are given more information than most of the characters and is another way to entice you to want to take part in this world; buying the next book. So I’ll give this round to the authors as I’m all in yet if something were to happen to Irina or Vlad but again to me it’s all about the V Games and while I’d prefer to see it from a male perspective, what’s Diana’s plan.

I plan to give this story four stars; am I honestly such a hard sell or maybe I have become jaded when I see the same tropes, and that’s not these authors’ fault at all but the book isn’t perfect but what is? Maybe you should stop right here if you don’t want any spoilers, four stars overall but there are some five-star moments here that can get you hot and bothered in impressive ways, well at least I was.

Mostly it Vlad and Irina as it should be, whenever they got together it was in a word explosive and the love that they feel for one another though I have yet to meet any woman like Irina which is only another reason I love her. There are scenes when they are collecting women or training women I wish that were flushed out more but having that sort of control over the such and such business. Dare I say there should be more sex, while we are somewhat in a bind with Vlad and Irina with the plethora of characters I suppose the authors are waiting for more books, but knowing about Diana or Darya how about Danill’s side business.

If I haven’t stressed this enough my biggest gripe is The V Games; it’s a fight to the death, there are women involved how does it all get done, reminds me of The Dollhouse by Stacia Stone, a promising premise but glossed over. I don’t think I’m quite as forgiving as the characters in this book, one of Irina’s weaker qualities. How she’s all about saving her sister and Vlad as evil, then she’s out of her dress and is like “whatever” training the women and excepting Vlad’s word like it’s the gospel. The depth of the families was good but in a way a bit tedious as to how many characters played little to no role and could be explained in a sentence or two without the line-up though I’m a stickler for knowing every person with my work.

Looking forward to the next one in the series how Diana plans on making her comeback which might be something to see, as I can’t think of any stories like that off the top of my head. For now, I’ll dream about being in the V Games until I have reasons to beware such a plan indeed because Vlad and Irina aren’t playing right, so I’m Happy, I’m Feeling Vlad.

Lesson 304 ~Can’t Buy Me, Love~

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Maybe I shouldn’t work so hard after all I have all I need. Only you’re a gift and why do I continue to try to wrap you up, I’m not “Cyrano de Bergerac,” not anymore. What about a library, I can love books and you. “Can’t Buy Me, Love”

Tuesday, May 1, 2018

Lesson 304 ~Can’t Buy Me, Love~

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Fine Today; I’m a traditionalist, I’m classic, flowers and candy, oaths of love and sometimes I regret there are no dragons to fight… not a Game of Thrones fan but we can sit here and watch The Walking Dead or Into The Badlands. How much is it I wonder to get into Walker Stalker or to buy costumes, I mean real outfits and not what’s already in the closet.

Now allow me to sound cliché when you ask me what I want, and I answer “All I Want Is You, ask me what I need and “All You Need Is Love” but you want to know really, you roll your eyes at me which brings out my Christian Grey. No not his budget which never mattered to you, but what do women want, and I would say everything, and in one way this fits us perfectly. You may not want it or need it and my dear I already have it in you but can you knock me for trying, blame the knights of old, those princes in the fairytales, or blame Tony Montana.

“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” ― Tony Montana, Scarface (1983)

Every day I ask how I got so lucky that I met a woman that appreciates terrific cinema, and classic ideas, not conservative as we have so much love to give and maybe that’s why I feel this need to have more. “Baby, I’m Yours,” and you’re mine but am I so hungry, so selfish for you that I need to hoard every one of your smiles. Every idea, your eyes in the mirror, because it gives me a reason to smile, another beat of my heart when it’s not skipping, every breath in this body. A guy could save the world just for the honor, the pleasure of being right here with you, and still, I would give you the stars if they weren’t in your eyes. The moon if you weren’t so high above me, and the planets, well I already have Venus my goddess of love Aphrodite.

Would you stop me from building you a library, from turning our home into a garden, how about having a house at all, a castle, a vault, somewhere to keep “my favorite, favorite thing” your heart? I must be on my way to Hell with how I want to long for you, my greed for you, wanting to lie here with you and never leave. How I’m so proud to call you mine, how envious that I want the world to know you and then no, not to mention a ton of other sins and maybe that’s why I don’t get religion, speaking of blasphemy…

Why would I await treasure in Heaven, I found you angel, and that’s enough, no one else, not even God itself gets me, you love are priceless and timeless to me, Can’t Buy Me, Love.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 297 ~I’m A Wanted Man~

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Do I love too much for having no one to “love,” well anyone with two legs that is; of course I love my dog like pancakes because he wanted my waffles but that’s a long story. I’m A Wanted Man but for all the wrong reasons that I know sadly.

Tuesday, April 24, 2018

Lesson 297 ~I’m A Wanted Man~

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Fine Today or more like I didn’t receive a fine today, thankfully I don’t need bail, and yet here I stand wanted, needed, and loved, the only “Wanted” poster I see is the man staring back at me in the mirror. A man captured by his love and I’m guilty as charged, never let me go, throw away the key, though you won’t hear me calling you the ball and chain, as the song goes “What’s My Age Again?”

I’m not one to compare you to a summer’s day either though I’m sure you’ve heard enough of my romantic quips and my smartphone is a constant source of inspiration such as “I Want You To Want Me.” I want to know a want like putting the phone on shuffle and waiting for that all too perfect song to pop up on Spotify, and you can’t help but dance and sing. You know maybe how I am on a Sunday when I’m watching The Walking Dead/Fear The Walking Dead, “Into The Badlands,” and “Westworld” all rolled into one. An addiction like looking up something on YouTube and getting trapped in a stream of dog videos and reactions to shows, talk about “Let’s Get Lost” and we will be but speaking of wants for some reason I want regular TV too, does that make me weird.

Just like I want to be the last thing on your mind when you go to bed, I want to be like a story you tell yourself to help you sleep, as I would once replay Far Cry 5 or Saints Row in my head I want to be your “Escape.” Hell, I want you to be my Anastasia Steele… what too soon, I mean my Anastasia meets Abraham Ford, let’s make some pancakes one day. I want those pancakes to wake me up in the morning and what is it I always say, I love my dog like pancakes, my first born and all.

“When you were, uh, pouring the Bisquick, were you trying to make pancakes?” Abraham Ford

I promise no jokes about women wanting everything and don’t they say “All You Need Is Love” thing is that isn’t a choice, and while I want that too, every day I want to choose us. If this heart has its say I will because I want you, need you, believe, have hope, and many things in-between like the air.

Do I want too much, if wanting such love is a crime then guess what love? I’m A Wanted Man.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 296 ~Heavenly Trip, Save A Seat~

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Heaven, Elysium, Home, just give me a room with wi-fi, sunlight, and a place for my dog and I think I’ll be comfortable right here but what was it that Luther Vandross said about a house; one day I’m going to be an old man. Heavenly Trip, Save A Seat

Monday, April 23, 2018

Lesson 296 ~Heavenly Trip, Save A Seat~

Twenty-Ninth Rule Madam Justice

I Am Not Fine Today because this isn’t Heaven, I wouldn’t even call it home, it’s comfort, security, privacy, the place my family sent me because any mental institution by any name is still just that. Excuse me though for the craziness I’ve been staring at blank white pages for days on end when I think of Heaven though, honestly other than my women Heaven to me would be more like the set of some seedy porno I must admit.

“If a man expects a woman to be an angel, he must create Heaven for her, angels don’t live in Hell” ― an unknown source

I first read this from some meme, and since I am somewhat of a traditionalist, I think this rings slightly right, a man is supposed to have a place, something about a man has a house and a woman makes it a home. Another way to see it is the things men do to reach women, that’s just what it is from the first girl waiting in the tallest tower, to the man who said, “you are my sun, my moon, my starlit sky,” from every song about angels. Anytime I’ve called a girl “angel” let’s say that I had quite high aspirations; the point is that men have always been expected to climb, to rise, to be the best and women… it’s so confusing on the one hand we place them on pedestals, make them the end all be all and then have to climb higher, I’m just saying.

“And hey, I love women. They’re beautiful, majestic, mysterious, mesmerizing creatures. Smart, empathetic, far superior to men in every way. And if I had a choice, I would be with women to my dying day.” ― Friends With Benefits (2011)

Now I also look at this rule regarding death… bring on the depression, but you don’t want to outlive those you love, it’s why children/furbabies passing is such a loss, I’m not a man of faith, but you go to prepare a place for them, not to watch them pass you. Remember last week’s rule; you let your enemies beat you to Hell, you outrun your loved ones to Heaven, that’s just how it goes. So I got a house, perfect if there was a family, three bedrooms, two and a half baths, two cars and no woman and maybe that tells me that Hell doesn’t lie without but more within oneself, don’t you think?

“So, uh, where you headed?

Heaven, baby.
Do you wanna go?

Maybe.” Never Die Alone

That’s just like me though; I have my shining armor always, ask my maid, I clean the castle before she shows up to do that, another girl can tell you, I’ll go and buy food, only to have pasta on the stove too. Aren’t I the Devil looking to get back into Heaven and maybe one day I will know peace but for now who’s early and who’s late *sigh* Heavenly Trip, Save A Seat.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 290 ~My Title Changed Hands~

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What’s in a name Juliet once asked, well first you have to decide on one and terms of endearment run quite rampant and ooh baby, baby, while a classic can get a little old though I tend to put a spin on it. My Title Changed Hands.

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Lesson 290 ~My Title Changed Hands~

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Fine Today, what’s wrong… how long have we been together and I still feel like a new man, like James Bond with my Bond girl, the Pumpkin with his Honey Bunny, and at least half a dozen YA Novels that we could be. Nobody that comes into this world chooses their name, which is why all our friends are probably going to be the same as us, naming their kids after their fandoms maybe.

Then there’s you, my wife, my Mrs., my best friend and to think there was a time I was too afraid to ask your name, I’m no good with names, really I didn’t know my grandmother’s name was Marie forever. It still freaks me out some to hear the cries of “Daddy, Daddy” all over the house and I doubt the dog thinks of me as “Dearest Human, Dad” well of course he does, my first kid and all. Now here I am again a new man and when I wake up in the morning, what is it, “Good Morning” sweetheart, honey, love, babe, if it comes from your lips I know I can be whoever I need to be.

Call me a traditionalist or just one for the classics, seeing how my last name fits next to yours or hell we could make a name all our own because I’m sure my family’s first words will be who’s that girl, shortened to that girl, or girl. To me, you’ll be “Baby Girl,” babydoll, angel, my queen, for a guy that has owned several thesauruses, beautiful is going to be my go-to for quite awhile. You think I’m one for music, oh there are so many movies if I happen to say “Ditto” or “I Know” after you tell me you love me and you get the reference… well, love grows all the more right?

Will there ever be a time I don’t love your name, depends on who I’m mad at maybe but what’s in a name, I’m just Will, and you’ll be who you are and have always been to me, and that’s the woman I love. I think one day I’ll even learn to love my name as much as I love yours, “This is my wife…” and I’ll be that guy with the gorgeous wife no one can ever forget ever.

My parents and the world have had their fun; I want to be someone else, I want to be yours, so My Title Changed Hands.

I Will Have No Fear

Cat Man, Black Man, Wow

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Wakanda Forever, to think I’m a black man that doesn’t like my people most of the time but this movie was a fun time in every sense. Though I am not one of the blind followers, but who’s reading, just see Black Panther. “Cat Man, Black Man, Wow”

I’m not sure there is enough praise, from astounding to zen-like for Black Panther and I choose wow. How could I do this movie justice and would it not be adding my admiration to the chorus of so many others? I could also go for all the drama and ideology from some regarding this movie and let me start by saying that just being an African American man has nothing to do with it and I can’t call myself a comic book nerd, just saying.

If anything as much as Chadwick Boseman and Michael B. Jordan did in this movie, you have to give it up for the ladies; sexy, seductive, and sensational, and personally, I’m having a hard time deciding between Lupita Nyong’o as Nakia and Letitia Wright as Shuri. Bring everybody to see this kid-friendly but enough to keep a grown man on the edge of his seat not to mention all of the stunningly beautiful visuals. As for the “Tolkien White Guys,” they were superb as well though there is one significantly glaring aspect that I think everyone is ignoring but what can I say Wakanda Forever.

Okay Fandango has been appeased so let me get a little more real with the rest of you, first and foremost I’m not your typical black guy, the only other Chadwick Boseman film I’ve seen is Marshall, and that’s because I got free tickets. I saw Captain America: Civil War because of all the hype surrounding it but Black Panther I’ve been excited about since the announcement came around. I don’t find myself agreeing with “my people” half the time, my whole life I haven’t been black enough but that’s another story, and finally, Black Panther gets one of his own, nearly devoid of other heroes, end credits, stay put.

Again there were plenty of heroes in the whole life of Wakanda, dare I say one too many maybe but I’m getting to that, but in all, I’m proud both as an African American, a Marvel fan, and just a moviegoer, I saw it twice. In case you’ve been under a rock, Black Panther is the story of the newly crowned king of the futuristic African nation Wakanda, T’Challa/Black Panther.

That right there blew me away which is indeed a sad fact, since the reason we want kids to go out and see this movie is the portrayal of positive black role models and showing a side of Africa even fictional that shows greatness and nobility. It’s a thin line considering how depictions of Africa are often but to add this incredible sci-fi universe and continue to embrace the traditions of the people and continent, incorporating all of it together.

As I am with the ladies, which battle I found more epic has me split. The ritual fight scenes and environments, yes CG but it didn’t matter I was mesmerized, and those fights might have been more incredible than Black Panther’s suit no offense. The Casino scene though, a great battle but just the idea of three black individuals and not that it hasn’t shown up before but T’Challa, Nakia, and Okoye just pounding away on a bunch of criminals, no suit, no guns, and no freaking mercy. Now the final fight and oh yes spoiler alert that’s what took me out of the movie a bit though and I can’t say this enough, but it was astounding and with a humorous moment or two.

There was plenty to laugh at most of the jokes were on point, maybe one or two just today’s pop culture such as “what are those” and the video Shuri was recording that you know would end up on YouTube. I think I’m starting to decide more on Shuri now, funny, intelligent, hot as Hell, though I know many women will side more with Danai Gurira/Okoye for her strength, I swear is there anything that Danai Gurira can’t do, guns, swords, spear, etc. I can’t leave the quiet moments out with Angela Bassett/ Ramonda/Queen Mother trying to protect both of her children Shuri and T’Challa or how about Daniel Kaluuya/ W’Kabi, Winston Duke/ M’Baku, there was not one single bad performance in this film honestly.

There were lessons to, that I think some might miss based only on race, for example, Wakanda’s policies reminded me of this America First mentality, and that the youth can and will lead, and how can one man be free if all men are not free. Personally, I saw myself siding with Erik Killmonger for most of the film, maybe he didn’t have the best ideas to “save the world,” but he made his points.

Now, this is where the rubber meets the road I have two facts that need to be made clear, the first isn’t so terrible but the second is going to make a lot of people mad like that’s anything new. Just know I truly enjoyed this film, I plan on getting it as soon as it’s available, hell speaking of points I could see it (without 3D) for free, and I paid twice. Also if you don’t want any spoilers, time to turn away and I might make someone mad.

My first point which isn’t much, black on black violence, a usual talking point for the alt-right and no I’m not talking about the ritual combat which I found to be exhilarating, heroic, and noble; I mean the civil war. In a movie that has brought about so much black unity in reality, that showed 4 out of five tribes in Africa united there still was a war, Black Panther and Killmonger were one thing, but again it’s demonstrated that black people all over can’t get along because of our differences. Now King T’Challa at the United Nations pushed for unity across the globe which was one of the best lessons, but I wonder about the battle of the three tribes is it just forgotten?

Okay, the highest point is the final battle the objective was to keep Wakanda’s weapons from getting out, Black Panther had to reclaim the throne in the long run I understand, those that sided with Killmonoger needed to be defeated and hello ladies. The thing is who was stopping the weapons, who was “saving the world,” who risked himself and fulfilled the primary objective… survey says; Martin Freeman/ Everett K. Ross, the white man. Just once, just one freaking time I want any minority to save the world, to protect themselves without a white man playing the pivotal role, and I’m sure there is some movie that it’s happened but ladies and gentlemen this is not it, despite my praise.

Everyone was playing there role I understand Shuri wanting to fight alongside her brother, Nakia and her love, Okoye and her troops but seeing as how they left the Queen Mother, hell give Angela Basset something to do with it. In all a fabulous movie by Marvel, allow me to sound like a little kid and say I want to be Black Panther, okay more like Killmonger, so Wakanda Forever, Cat Man, Black Man, Wow.

Lesson 261 ~Be Who My Dog Deserves~

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Who’s a good dog, if he doesn’t know that by now then I am honestly no type of father and despite all my failures, being the man that he needs me to be is something that I can not afford to fail, not ever. “Be Who My Dog Deserves”

Monday, March 19, 2018

Lesson 261 ~Be Who My Dog Deserves~

Twenty-Fourth Rule Madam Justice

I Am Not Fine Today but that doesn’t matter now does it, because when you love it merely means you put them ahead of you and the more love you give, the more returns to you or so I’ve been told that’s how it works. Think about it, most pets have four legs, birds have wings, other pets have their qualities, and yet they say that a dog is man’s best friend; such real words.

“All I know is that the boy was my charge. And if he was not the word of God. Then God never spoke.” The Road

Sometimes I ask myself, what great sin did this dog have to commit, earning his lot in life; I remember begging and pleading with my father for a dog, and sure my sister and I had my grandma’s dogs, but here my sister never mentioned a dog ever. Next thing I know my father walks in with this few pounds of fluff for her; I raised him, I did all I could do, and when the time came to move it wasn’t a question, just get in the car. We have fought side by side, bled together, same enemies, saved each other’s lives, and perhaps one of my greatest sins is that he turned out to be like me, which begs the question, what on Earth have I done wrong?

“He’d grown up just like me
My boy was just like me” ― Harry Chapin, Cat’s In The Cradle (1974)

I know I’ve said that I pretended that my future wife is watching me and I want to be better because maybe if I am; if I can be that man I may be able to find her finally. At my age I know I’m not ready to be her boyfriend, her man, her husband. Then again I wasn’t prepared to be a father, to think I scoffed when I watched all the other kids with the “Pumped Up Kicks” including my sister making babies and despite everything, I could say I wasn’t making such decisions, taking such risks, and somehow that made me better. Only I have Madam Justice, I have when it comes to my dog, and I have to make it right which means as the song goes I must be The Best Man I Can Be.

He just made Level 13 on February 13 and as I often tell “Indiana Gone,” “I love him like pancakes,” and I look forward to him being Level 20 and beyond but I’m not stupid for once; he has a heart murmur, he’s developing cataracts. The vet says surgery is risky but if there is a chance? All I know is I can’t name five humans that I love or love me that equal him. I love him enough that every day I even ask him, “are you a happy puppy, is this your best life,” I want him to meet my family one day. I need him to know that I’ll be okay that as I loved him, he saved me but most importantly of all I need to Be Who My Dog Deserves.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 255 ~A Love Of Learning~

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Wise men say, only fools rush in, so why aren’t I rushing at my age and it doesn’t look like I’m going to inherit millions, upon millions of dollars anytime soon, not that I have ever wanted the bimbo type. A Love Of Learning

Tuesday, March 13, 2018

Lesson 255 ~A Love Of Learning~

“I’m not a smart man… but I know what love is.” Forrest Gump

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, I think love makes fools of us all, and at the end of the day I suppose I would rather be a fool than a coward, and I know, trust me I know I do that all the time. You know what makes me a genius, what makes me a man, a smart one at that, is somehow or another we’re together.

“Oh, I didn’t dare look at you, you were so beautiful. It was scary. Afterwards, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. It made me smile. And then I thought of all the men who would get to hold you, who would make you laugh… how lucky they were. And now I’m the one lying next to you.” ― Vassili Zaitsev, Enemy at The Gates (2001)

I think you know by now that smart girls are my type or would you prefer I call you pretty for the billionth time, it’s not every girl that gets a man to pick up a dictionary, a thesaurus, the works of Rumi. Yeah, I’m no builder, my angel, as Elton John put it “If I was a sculptor, but then again, no.” I couldn’t build you a Heaven, even if I wanted to, but I swept you off your feet so that I could raise you high enough that I felt I could never reach you. Is this my way of saying you’re complicated, Math is that and more, understanding me, babydoll you must be something else, but you, I give you my life, it started for a minute, and here we are still.

“Who says I’m trying to look prettier? Maybe I want to look smart or kind or funny.” ― A Kingdom Divided Against Itself, Containment (2016)

Can I call myself a nerd, a geek, you probably think I’m a dork when I say I want a Ron and Hermione type of love, “Glenn and Maggie,” Peeta and Katniss, Ron wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, we saw Glenn’s brains… and Peeta went crazy. I’m probably not going to be the one to help our children with homework, and I pray that they get your mind for things, hell they might save the world one day. Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire I’ve heard, so maybe I am wrong when I suggested that love makes fools of us and as you are trying to get me to admit I might be smarter than I realize, as smart as you…

I wasn’t brave enough, strong enough, inspired enough to make it through college but to have the girl of my dreams, I found a way. Where there’s a WILL, there’s a way, and I won’t ever say it’s wrong to want to know you, to want to know me, to know us. I want to know what love is, I want you to show me, yes I learned how to work all this new technology but you and me, my love that is A Love Of Learning.
I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 248 ~Four Feet of Furry~

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I asked a friend once did they think my dog referred to me as Dad or even dearest human, she was the first person he liked that wasn’t in my immediate family the people that raised me. “Four Feet of Furry,” how I tried my best with my fur baby.

Tuesday, March 6, 2018

Lesson 248 ~Four Feet of Furry~

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore; I suppose I can’t afford to be, though our children always tend to age us and how about the time it took me to find you, my love. We even gave time, “A Second Hand,” I’m not sure if that’s a dad joke or our kids will get it yet, but I like to think that this one does, that head tilt.

Yeah, I was a single father before I met you, adopting this bundle of joy… I wouldn’t go that far, but this is my kid, my son, my fur baby and Cupid himself. I’ve always said that the first girl he could stand would be the woman for me… I guess I let him down in that regard but then there was you, and what can I say, you never gave up on him on either of us just saying. If he shows to any degree what kind of father I am, the man that I am going to have to be, there’s no one else I would rather have by my side; I mean you and him both honestly.

If I can chase those four little paws around for thirteen years, and then some then a baby should be a piece of cake right… no more mammoth naps but I can hear my little one cry over anything and if there is anything I’ve learned in this world humans can be a lot more vocal. I hope so; it scares me to think how much he’s like me and to have another son that takes after me, or a daughter with your beauty and my charming personality… I think between the three of us; the kids will be alright; three and a half hopefully.

“If I had just one wish
Only one demand
I hope he’s not like me
I hope he understands
That he can take this life
And hold it by the hand
And he can greet the world
With arms wide open” With Arms Wide Open

I’m always quoting a song but how about the idea I wish I found you sooner so I could love you longer, my best friend saw me in my early twenties, and we haven’t been apart longer than three months. I promised him he would be part of a real family and while his position on the bed might come into question he has plenty to choose from thanks to us, the things four feet can do, don’t you think?

Does he think I’m a good dad, do you think I’m a good husband, god I want to be, I want to be the person my dog thinks I am, maybe he knows I’m ready, love comes in all shapes and sizes and with his, all Four Feet Of Furry.

I Will Have No Fear