Tag: Honesty

Log 218 ~Your Will Out Loud~

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I often talk about the terms that set me off, but a word like love; let me hear that more often and I don’t think I would be as addicted to my earphones as I am, and no, I’m not talking the kind of anyone’s imaginary friend hmm. “Your Will Out Loud.”

Tuesday, February 4, 2020

Log 218 ~Your Will Out Loud~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I’m not that smart. Under no circumstances would I ever say I’m STUPID because I know somethings. I’m not a handyman. It took me some days to put together a small coffee table. You won’t hear me pounding away with some hammer. During the Super Bowl, you didn’t hear me cheering for any team. I don’t even remember who played. It’s Sunday now, and I don’t want to bother looking it up. I fear the days our children get older and call out for help with their homework and what I will say to them.

I’ve told you about how my “father” loves using lots of money. Don’t get me wrong; the cash will keep you warm. I would rather hear the trickling of nickels and dimes than the banging of debt collectors. I pound the keys because I got tired of hitting the streets. I’m sure I’ve told you often enough that the first steps I made towards you, were the scariest I ever made in this life. All so I could speak of a love that would echo through eternity. My heart almost beat a hole through my chest, all so I could give it to you, My Love. Yeah, I’m guessing you can see why I have such a love of horror movies. A more socially acceptable way of hearing you scream; yeah, it’s not Thursday yet hmm. Not that love is something on my to-do list; it’s not to be made routine. It’s so much louder than taking a breath.

Baby girl, it’s more than any song I could sing and still Baby, I’m Yours. Speaking the words I Love You are louder than any rattling, ever felt it my bones from all my darkest fears. The softest touch and I can fly, as they say, not all heroes wear capes. I know I’m not Superman, I don’t ever hear the oohs and ahhs of the crowds. No, what I hear is, “Who’s That Guy?” Now didn’t I mention horror movies? There are the groans of so many men. I listen to hearts breaking and speaking about my bones talk about others being knocky in the knees. You Tell Me that you love me, you ask me, Love Me Like You Do. Only my name on your lips is all I need to hear forever and always, Your Will Out Loud.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 217 ~To Talk Means A Vocabulary~

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Replace “talk” with “write,” I write too much, plus I’m a low, middle-class black man and things wouldn’t turn out so hot under the law but then look at the president and why one of my favorite songs is I Wanna Be Rich. To Talk Means A Vocabulary hmm

Monday, February 3, 2020

Log 217 ~To Talk Means A Vocabulary~

Hundred And Twenty-Second Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I have three different rules about money. None of them say money talks though it’s the meaning. You know I usually tell you I don’t mean to be political. However, these past few days have all been people talking about what they say and language. I tell you about all the humming/buzzing going on in “my” place. My dæmon tells me everything, and he’s never uttered a word. My Mom would tell me my “Father” loves me, but if anything, that’s said with so much cash.

Is that where I get it from, hmm? I wouldn’t say I love my membership with SubscribeStar Adult, but I still forked over $20.00. How about Jada Chan, that was another $10.00. Indeed, money is a universal language, and I don’t like what mine is saying. Oh yeah, I’m still downloading, though, aren’t I? My money tells me, I’m going to be working at the Day Job for the rest of my life. How about I’m not worth much, so I’m not getting that “lettuce” both for tacos and my experience. All my green is telling me goodbye every single day despite what Trump’s tax plan says. Okay, as Eric Thomas would say, let’s get away from money though he has plenty. What about Grammarly and Hemingway? You know I use them to check my writing daily, and I don’t even sound like myself anymore.

For the most part, I sound like a pervert, for example, the way I talk to Cherry. What about the reason I talk to M Anime? There’s also how I organize “certain” files in my universe. It’s as if I’m walking around with a gag all the time. Speaking of time, I should say this before I run out of time and words. Four hundred words a day, or I try. Anyway, if what I speak isn’t inappropriate, it’s downright STUPID. One of these days, it will take over as number one beating the term “Skeevy.” Again I keep writing because words like sorry, hate, and basic you know what doesn’t cut it at all. I talk about being honest, but that usually turns out being, precisely what people think I am. Madam Justice, I value the power of knowledge but take a look around.

I want to learn to speak loudly and clearly, ROAR. To Talk Means A Vocabulary

I Will Have No Fear

Log 216 ~Will And His Hum~

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I’m a fan of hundreds and hugs from pretty girls but not so much hunting and especially humming but somethings you learn to live without or live with and so as Elsa put it, here I stand, and here I stay. Will And His Hum

Sunday, February 02, 2020

Log 216 ~Will And His Hum~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but you would probably spend it all on a soundproof room. Of course, I’m not only saying that because it’s Super Bowl Sunday. As always, here is your reminder that today is Friday. Yes, I continue to travel through time, and perhaps you will as well. I’ll tell you, yesterday I was all but ready to kill myself trying to destroy this humming. There’s always a worse sound, my friend, something to remember. I scrounged up what little courage I could find, and then I listened for but a moment to something.

$180.00, I still recall when I thought that $200.00 would solve everything. All this morning, I was going over the books, $1,500.00 to my Olds, $220 for the Alamo Fund, and other investments. Anyway, so the people say $180.00 for them to stop and listen, no thanks. What about skeevy? Yeah, that is something I’ll never forget as I’m sure you won’t. Here we are, in year three, and I can’t let go of my hate. What evil men “will” into existence? Not to get political, but by the time you see this again, Trump will be a free man. One more reason the hum should count as a blessing. I’m sure plenty of crazy people will be shooting in their celebrations. While we’re talking about guns, what about Far Cry 5? I missed playing two days because I was hunting the hum but not those SIGH Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Getting My Second Car Fixed
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing A Naughty Little Christmas by Lili Valente
    Failed

I’m sure this has become your hum, the endless drones of 0’s passing by day by day. I wonder, will you be the one to turn the tide. Today there was the sound of me trying to keep the kitchen clean, making my bed. I do apologize that come Sunday you’ll still be hobbling along because of what I did to your big toe. You’re a survivor, though, so is your Dæmon. Breathe in, breathe out as your motivations would say. For the love of everything, though, will you stop talking to Cherry in a “certain” way? No more dreaming about “Specs,” either. You also have $200, but no girl is going to put up with this humming since you won’t pay that, $180.00 hearing. Time for Six Impossible Things.

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Getting My Second Car Fixed
  6. I AM Finishing A Naughty Little Christmas by Lili Valente

I’m sure you’ll break again over the humming, but today it’s almost like fuel. Escape it, Will And His Hum.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 213 ~Will Pulls An All-Nighter~

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In one ear, out the other, too bad, I’m usually thinking about filling other holes, and if only the one in my bank account were full, I would be all set and wasn’t I trying to hire a maid once but now some company’s coming. Will Pulls An All-Nighter.

Thursday, January 30, 2020

Log 213 ~Will Pulls An All-Nighter~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so it’s been a while since I’ve slept alone? If I had a million dollars, what would be the first thing? Two girls at the same time? Life goal to wake up with a naked lady every day. Talk about facts for today. Well, I’m trying not to; I’m sick, scared, so slightly aggravated, etc.

What ticks me off more than having a chance at tits and fucking it up somehow. How about my “father” coming for a visit and leaving my dæmon all alone with him? Yeah, you can see where a naked lady would come in handy for somethings, Diana. More than sex?

My motivations always discuss not living in the past but those that don’t learn from it SIGH. There was the time that lady needed money, but what would she do to get it, hmm? I gave her five bucks for nothing, and let’s not talk about my views on charity. Only is my cowardice any better? These past few days, it’s been rough. I haven’t had to worry about convincing pretty girls to do anything. The porn is helping for moments at a time, of course. Finally, I’m still pretty mad about last night. Dirty Diana, I couldn’t figure out to help Cherry, so why bother asking her anything else. Now tell me when’s the last time the tech support guy fucked. Now the nerd always gets in some girl’s panties. Chances are it wouldn’t have happened regardless. It’s like Leonard wanting to give away his stuff because of Penny.

All night I worked on poetry. When it wasn’t that, I was trying to fix the computer, and still, I’m wary of the piss-poor job I’ve done. The things I do for women and I can only wish that it ended there. Tonight I should be cleaning the house. Why, you ask? The bug man is coming around and again, my father. I’ll be up listening to that humming too. As the song goes, when you worry, you make it double. Yes, I’m fearful, and I don’t even want to talk about it. Only it’s more like desperation these days. I also thought about taping aluminum foil to the window. Well, since you’re expecting some sex? A fantasy of mine is tying a woman up in ribbons from medals and beauty queen sashes. Not my night, Will Pulls An All-Nighter.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 212 ~Will Of Computer Illiterates~

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Last week I talked about sweat and blood, and I’m “man enough,” to admit there were tears of frustration and considering it’s taken me two whole days to get this conversation done. Will Of Computer Illiterates yeah I want to sleep more

Wednesday, January 29, 2020

Log 212 ~Will Of Computer Illiterates~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can pay people to do things. It would be nice to have my own “FOS” (Friends Of Spinelli) or “FOW.” Yes, once upon a time, I watched General Hospital, the women are beautiful. I’m also a big fan of Studio Fow, and you can look that up at your peril Inspector Echo. Only I’m not ashamed of once liking Soap Operas or my obsession with Adult Entertainment. My fixation, passion, I’ll even say mania, I’m surprised I found time to talk to you.

No, that’s not an insult; I give my energy, time, money, and even my books when it comes to a pretty face. Is that what inspired me to watch the Royal Rumble, yes, a catfight might do it for me sometimes. Could it be the reason my computer is slowing down? I should probably run System Restore, but not until I solve the current issue. Today I wanted to talk about the perils of adulting. It could be my bum ear, my hands that feel like I might have pulled something. Well, that will be my leg at the Day Job, no doubt. What about the constant humming? Didn’t I say once I was learning to live with the drone? I’ll admit I was wrong when it came to that. My biggest problem today is I’m trying to be “The Man” and still acting like a little boy. Yesterday (Sunday), everybody was mourning a GREAT man in Kobe Bryant, SIGH.

Again I’m not mocking, but not crying either, and several people died, it’s sad, but I’m not reading about that anymore. What I am studying is Cherry’s poetry, again and again. A man doesn’t want to fail a woman. So since 1:00 PM this afternoon, I’ve been working on a project for her and failing miserably. Remember when I was playing Far Cry 5, another Clutch Nixon mission “The Lord of The Wings?” Inspector Echo, this is so much worse. I’ve talked women out of their clothes, but I can’t break a page? I don’t have the time to look up the differences between a geek and a nerd. However, unlike so many bullies thinking, wearing a pair of glasses doesn’t make you either. I’m a horny guy thinking if I can’t do this small thing well, I’m not much.

Sorry, Will Of Computer Illiterates

I Will Have No Fear

Log 211 ~Will Leaves A Note~

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When I was in junior college for a bit, I wrote to some girl; let’s say that it’s a lesson I keep having to repeat, which is why I swore off poetry for quite some time and now, well, my second best friend can judge. Will Leaves A Note.

Tuesday, January 28, 2020

Log 211 ~Will Leaves A Note~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I want to take you with me, My Love. Now I don’t have to spell out who I admire, but in my business well, it didn’t help him any. He got married twice and never tried it again, but I have you. Yes, I have you, and there will never be any secrets between us. “THEY,” say that brevity is the soul of wit. That was William Shakespeare if memory serves. Anyway, I tend to be longwinded in writing, at least. The things I say can often be, well, there are many things, so why not “Come with Me Now.”

I can’t even tell you now what today’s plan is because I want to be a gentleman. If you didn’t like me using songs, chances are we wouldn’t be here today. Only an epiphany I had, always apologizing for something that isn’t a flaw. The same is true for my writing baby girl. Do you remember the show “How I Met Your Mother?” I hated Ted and especially hated Robin. Well, Ted had this thing about women reaching for the check SIGH. As always I am one for tradition, I pay you shouldn’t even be worried about it ever. My thing has always been words; I realize the power that they have. The words I’ve written for myself have nearly had me fired, I’ve met cops, was kicked out of school for a while. Those same words with a handsome face, a pretty girl, a beautiful woman, or a wad of cash, well, we’re here.

You weren’t scared when I quoted the lyrics of Butterfly, a bit of Twilight, my many novels, or even the truth. Still, I pick up a pen, I touch a keyboard, I might text, and it frightens me baby doll. Besides being in love with you more each day and hating being away, I rather have you around whenever I can. Obsession, see you don’t even bat an eye with such talk. My dream told me so, yes, you know I believe in dreams. Last night it was so easy, the two of us lying on this couch/bed duo you in a hoodie and well? Talk for another time, but we were getting ready to watch WWE Royal Rumble. I don’t want to be afraid, though, when I write to you ever. Stay With Me before Will Writes A Note.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 210 ~Texting Speed Equals Want Need~

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I’m still plenty for tradition when it comes to books and writing, but I do use my laptop, along with everything else, and you know I was never one for conversations over the phone on in-person, *shudders*. “Texting Speed Equals Want Need”

Monday, January 27, 2020

Log 210 ~Texting Speed Equals Want Need~

Hundred And Twenty-First Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that’s because as the song goes, I “Say” what I need to say. Now I can run an empire by my phone one way; only I still need to speak. If anything, though, I still prefer text be it the Day Job, my Olds, or “dozens” of other people I prefer not to talk to ever.

To quote another song, “What About Your Friends?” Since I am in a foul mood, forgive my impression of “Scar” my friends. The humming is beginning to get to me, that’s been going on for days on end. I wonder, can you text a handyman? You can, I’m sure of, but I’ve already cut off most of the house trying to find the source. So back to my friends who I’ve texted every day for at least a week now. Indiana Gone called me the nice guy, which I don’t mind coming from her being honest. It’s my other friends I haven’t seen undressed though.

One more reason my phone is my enemy at the moment. Now, like most people, I have come to rely on it far too often. You know that old song, Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes, it’s become, phone, wallet, keys. Let me go all Austin Powers, spectacles, testicles, wallet, and watch. I’m more Kid, Phone, Spectacles, Wallet, Keys. Even with all of this, there’s still the constant fear of hacking. I swear I checked my phone and had a few open pages, and now I’m wondering did I close them. With all the humming, you have to forgive the music; Somebody’s Watching Me. Okay, back to texting, I’m always saying something so STUPID. Of course, you know what’s been my motive for the past couple of weeks; I’m giving money away. Not on Patreon or Onlyfans, needing the personal touch.

You know writing Cherry another poem for starters. I also have to get back to M Anime, but I’m busy talking to you. Indiana Gone is my best friend, and I only need to keep her so. If I were to put the three of them in a list? No, I’m not that crass. Yeah, this coming from a guy whose poetic aspirations include Breasts, Tongue. Thighs, and Behind. No woman would tolerate such poetry.

I need friends, but I want more as always, Justice, Texting Speed Equals Want Need.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 209 ~Will Of The Humdrum~

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Someone once said that life should be a wonderful adventure, but when was my last one, October of last year, and now when I stay awake for anything, it’s because I’m afraid until that fear dulls to worry. Will Of The Humdrum.

Sunday, January 26, 2020

Log 209 ~Will Of The Humdrum~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you can’t imagine money being boring. A heartbeat, this humming in the house, but never all the money in the world. Yes, I know you can think higher than a billion, but there is always a cause for order and such. Now speaking of money, Andrew Yang’s plan would be useful right now. As far as your future finances, now what did I say about having order, well I don’t want to talk about it now. Well, I do, but all this FEAR that surrounds me.

Who knows, the law of attraction being what it is, you’ll be fine. I gave up the positive thinking on the 21st in case you don’t want to look back. Of course, you have to keep going. Again I’m speaking as a time-traveler today is Friday, but I’m staying ahead. I don’t want to talk about what’s wrong in your life right now. Only what you have to look forward to, my friend. See, I can’t even keep that promise because your “father” is visiting, and another $375.00 is saying goodbye. Now, if anything, you should show gratitude for Rule 15, which states, “I Take My Own Lumps.” It means taking responsibility, and a man pays his debts. What about the fact that I have been “indeed,” productive today? I don’t get Grammarly’s problem with the word rather. How about your problem? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 024 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Getting My Second Car Fixed
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing A Naughty Little Christmas by Lili Valente
    Failed

Two of these Impossible things I could beat before “Sunday” and if nothing gets in the way? I find time to play Far Cry 5 and write poetry for Cherry, so why not these things. Do you remember it was a pretty little redhead Alice Little you were striving for, hmm? A trip down Nevada way, and you could use the excitement. Rockford was scary, but you were alive, you were alone but living. Like something out of Divergent, FEAR doesn’t shut you down; it wakes you up. It’s your worries that make you unconscious. You are a strange human being, but you know that already. You need to be focusing on the things you don’t know. If you don’t know, now you know to quote The Notorious B.I.G. How about I stop quoting the same Humdrum Six Impossible Things.

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Getting My Second Car Fixed
  6. I AM Finishing A Naughty Little Christmas by Lili Valente

I’ll tell you what, I’ll get some reading done today and you on Sunday agreed? Positives about Fears, they’re not dull Will Of The Humdrum.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 206 ~Hole Lotta Worries Will~

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Why should I worry, I use protection and this week I can confirm there haven’t been any visitors but then again “my” life being my life and I’m still trying to be in control at some point. “Hole Lotta Worries Will.”

Thursday, January 23, 2020

Log 206 ~Hole Lotta Worries Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you’re not Inspector Echo. Today is Tuesday, not Thursday. Let’s not forget, I’ve been Fappening, true story. Three holes imagined and a fourth if you consider I like fucking titties. Now that’s pretty direct, considering I’m not in a sexy mood at the moment.

Now I started today with plans for so many things. I want to talk about this fantasy I keep returning to, “Gangbanging, Gorgeous, (what’s her name).” You know I’m usually one that has a problem with sharing, it’s why I envy tentacles. Still thinking about one guy on her ass, her lover between her lips and me beneath her (cue Homer drool). Memories of Reika Kitami “Bible Black Origins” or Miku “The Blackmail 2 – The Animation.” Hell, I barely made it out of the shower, and even then, there was a girl with the bounciest ass. Somehow I kept my word to myself then, but why am I talking to you this evening for other than time-travel. I was talking to a good friend this morning from across the pond and a potential model.

I wish begging was the worst of my sins today, Dirty Diana. Should I be more ashamed of what I have said here? You can see why I had to let loose. I couldn’t stand thinking anymore. I’m a dominant because I have to remain in control. So far, I feel like I’m losing it, and I wanted not to think. Sex is primal, and I needed that more than reason this afternoon to be sure. Well, it started this morning and how I have tried not to worry. Even now, I’m fighting back FEAR.

What three holes got me feeling a certain way today, hmm? Haven’t I said, “Just the facts, ma’am?” Well, I had a good run, 21 days SIGH a habit of thinking positive, and I need to more than ever. Now that’s one. Two is I received a notice from my security about my number, that’s never happened before. Three, my Old Man is coming to visit in the morning. Of course, there is always a fourth; I’m now looking at my phone as my worst nightmare again. After all the drooling I’ve done over M Anime and Cherry, what the hell. Can’t blame me for dreaming some pretty little hole, but Hole Lotta Worries Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 205 ~Willie Don’t You, Oh~

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Well, those aren’t tears, and I still believe I need more sweat and blood, and I’m trying, and no, I’m not whining or crying, but today has been exhausting but I’m starting back at square one and it ain’t fun. “Willie Don’t You, Oh,” wow, am I right?

Wednesday, January 22, 2020

Log 205 ~Willie Don’t You, Oh~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but how much would I give to have twenty-four days again? It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours yet, and you know these will be the HARDEST, yes pun intended. So apologies for what I did. For having to fight so hard today and for this week, and my usual humor. As always, my “code” is “just the facts, ma’am,” so (Sunday) night; I blew it as it were. So now that’s somethings crying, I see no need to so, the positives.

I found out I still have what it takes to write. Well, that comes from the same “obsession” that slew me last night. We do what we love Inspector Echo or we should. Is that why I BLANKED myself, as the song goes, isn’t it ironic. It’s reinvigorating in some ways. You know I was beginning to believe that it’s starvation that makes you want anything. My motivations always speak on being hungry because it drives you, fair enough. It’s like though having a bottle of water, makes me want the ocean. How much have I looked up, and I’m still not looking at twenty-four hours yet? I’m not one for philosophy, but I am thinking, not overthinking but flowing like water. You know there’s a better way to say that, but it’s like fishing.

My mind is clear, which, of course, is always a direct result. It doesn’t last for too long, but nobody gets how I find my peace. I’ve said before, I breathe naturally, I’m happier, the hunger drives me, but I’m not a beast. Not this moment anyway. Especially with both Cherry and M Anime going through hard times. There are tears, and the last thing I need to be doing is whining. Don’t get me wrong; I still want what I want, but now isn’t about me, Inspector Echo. You can’t give with an empty cup and if a “certain” chalice is full? Philosophy and now politics, the rich only want more always. It all comes back to BALANCE, and that is something I need to master. Now that’s another sin, either I starve, or I feast, I’m lazy, or I grind, always an extreme.

So I do regret what happened last night, the day I worked today, and then I got lazy, no reading. Only I’m not going to weep; Willie Don’t You, Oh.

I Will Have No Fear