Tag: Therapy

Gospel 060 ~Willing To Be Disappointed~

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Looks like my Bipolar instincts are at it again, last week was smiling. For this one, well, I can’t say I have seen many happy people, but I only want one and my furry kid as always. Willing To Be Disappointed

Sunday, August 30, 2020

Gospel 060 ~Willing To Be Disappointed~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but you are gearing up for disappointment. What the Hell were you thinking this morning? More like what was I thinking last night, since it hasn’t been twelve hours yet. What time is it again, and you’re where? How about how do you feel right now. Disheveled, discombobulated, a bit disappointed? Yeah, the D has already popped out once since Freya Tingley in No Way to Live (2016). Talk about a message in a sex scene. While you can’t imagine no Yabbos ever, what can you live with?

The Day Job SIGH. I ask you again, where are you? How did you waste all this time that you had, and you didn’t look at your novel? Of course, you’re going to “be tha first one to bomb and cuss” as Tupac put it. Still, you have only yourself to blame. My damned entertainment because, well, I didn’t finish everything in The Walking Dead. I thought you would wake up this morning. So much for the “Starbucks theory” as you drank it, had a bite, and after a half-hour of Call me a LEGEND, you fell asleep. Disappointment again is the primary emotion. I remember being back in school so “in love” with you know who. I can’t live without her yeah right, but every day I was a failure, and every week there’s Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 012 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Going To Bed Before Midnight
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing The Manual: What Women Want and How to Give It to Them by W. Anton
    Failed

Do you need even more failures? Here’s what we can’t talk about. If anything, it was scrapping my NO FAP 19-day streak that kept me from doing something stupid. Saying hello? On with the music, “But I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo,” so you keep quiet right now. Still, the neighbor lady wouldn’t have that. It’s an excuse I know but maybe having to call her back after leaving a note on my door. Wasn’t that all sorts of “particular” of me, and now you have to face more at the Day Job as I didn’t finish my book. Not reading or writing ever, ha. Only I’m no showman. No, you’re not like Chadwick Boseman. If you died today, no one would care. I don’t mean to be so bleak but only factual, which if I learned anything is not always wanted. Like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Going To Bed Before Midnight
  6. I AM Finishing The Manual: What Women Want and How to Give It to Them by W. Anton

So do I have any final advice or sage wisdom? Keep your pants on but be Willing To Be Disappointed.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 059 ~Will You Be King~

WillLeave a comment

First, Rest In Power Chadwick Boseman, I saw plenty of his movies and Black Panther at least four times. Now, of course, I’m plenty selfish too, so today I’m not so much an open book, I’ve learned my lesson. Will You Be King?

Saturday, August 29, 2020

Gospel 059 ~Will You Be King~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but he was more. Chadwick Boseman, he was a star, a legend, even a king. Lady Luna, he was Andre Davis, Thurgood Marshall, the Black Panther, King T’Challa. Now he’s gone. May he Rest In Power. I had to say something.

Can I go back to being a prick because the last 24 hours have been sad enough? Hell, it hasn’t even been that long, but Friday was something else. I must confess that as much as I would like to, I can’t even share it all, and do you know why. Call it hope, maybe faith?

I saw something yesterday, and I’m going to have to pretend I didn’t. The moment I entertain the possibility if I should ever give it voice? My Lady, how many times has there been wailing and the gnashing of teeth? Again I was reading W. Anton, and this goes against everything he teaches, but I refuse. Yes, I lack the courage, but I have learned from history. Better to be a live chicken than a dead duck. I am no king or even a hero. Let me be but a simple kind of man.

Every day I’m closer to being an older one, and I ask, what have I done with my life? I watched It’s A Different World “It’s Greek To Me” that fraternity Kappa Lamda Nu. My whole family has pledged. Yeah, my Mom and my sister are Deltas. Dad is an Omega. You won’t believe me, but I’m fine by myself, but damn I don’t speak to my blood kin hm. It’s strange though that nobody would know if I win and everyone will tell me about it if I lose. I mean look Lady Lu, again I created a whole “cathouse” so I could complain.

Only now, I join so many in the world in mourning, and that is my connection. I can’t speak of affection or of joy. No, I can’t say anything about excitement because what happens then? Lady Lu, I am a good man with a good heart. Usually, I would laugh at that, but now I want to cry. I want to be a billionaire, a king, and I don’t know how to do both, be “decent,” and have my power. Chadwick Boseman did his way.

Yet one more unanswered question. SIGH Will You Be King

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 053 ~Cheshire These Moments Will~

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When’s the last time I smiled at something or someone that wasn’t being really stupid or sexy. Either way, I get hot, and people end up resenting me, so that’s why I like my mask. Shutting up, not validating stupidity. Cheshire These Moments Will yep

Sunday, August 23, 2020

Gospel 053 ~Cheshire These Moments Will~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you will be too if you read every day. Examples, Cheshire is the name of some town in England. There’s also Connecticut, Massachusetts, and so on.

Yeah, the last thing you need this morning is to start thinking of some Yabbos. Especially Misha Cross’s Yabbos. She’s from Poland right, but Jim Slip is from the U.K. and the way he lives his life (drool). Jim Slip, Old Matt, and Dennis Hof may he R.I.P. Okay, you don’t need to be down today, so smile, well try.

After that dream I had last night, be careful what you wish for. I was in Japan and, don’t ask me why but it reminded me of that King of the Hill episode. Anyway, I know about sliding doors, and I was in the bathroom, and then a few of my teeth fell out. Then more started falling, and it was sort of like inception, a dream within a dream. Hell, I wanted my teeth back. Next thing, I woke up in my bed, SIGH. Now yesterday, I told myself stop smiling like a Cheshire Cat. Whataburger, Buffalo Wild Wings, Walmart once again “Humiliations Galore.”

Yes, I know, I’m trying today to show gratefulness, gratitude, and an overall sense of goodness. There’s such beauty in the world. That’s what I want to share today, friend. You got two biscuits for free after Whataburger screwed up. Walmart gave you coffee… it’s decent. Of course, it always comes back to sexiness. Only when you smile, it doesn’t have to be because you are embarrassed at everything. You don’t have to grin at stupid people but at sexy people. One more good thing about living in the plague era, another habit to break. So what if you want to live your life like S.Wolf, Todd Michaels, or Eric Vall. You could be like Dollydicker and Shasta_23. What about all those artists with their 3D models, the people at Realdoll, or StudioFow? Of course, there are Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 005 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 012 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Going To Bed Before Midnight
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing The Manual: What Women Want and How to Give It to Them by W. Anton
    Failed

I wish you could say you’re smiling at the thought that you accomplished #1. Yeah, I know what you’re beaming at if only to make sure your crooked teeth are still there. Cut me some slack being grateful ain’t easy. Still entertaining Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 012 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Going To Bed Before Midnight
  6. I AM Finishing The Manual: What Women Want and How to Give It to Them by W. Anton

You didn’t wake up on time, but you got up at all. Porn but NO FAP; Cheshire These Moments Will

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 052 ~A Loss For Will~

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All my life, I have listened to people with nothing to say. So when I do ask for an explanation, they’ve got nothing. Hell nowadays, I don’t have much, but I refused to beg for once. A Loss For Will, maybe

Saturday, August 22, 2020

Gospel 052 ~A Loss For Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I’d be wealthier if I’d stayed awake. So what woke me up in the first place? More often than not, if it’s not work or women, it’s my whiny dæmon. I love him like pancakes Lady Lu but SHIT, pardon my language, it’s all shit.

My motivations talk about having something that gets you out of bed each morning. Well, In How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. Dale Carnegie says you must accept the worse possible scenario and get past it. Jail time or death? Let’s start smaller, Lu.

“First ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen? Then prepare to accept it. Then proceed to improve on the worst.” – Dale Carnegie

“The willingness to walk away, above all other factors, does more to tell a woman of your high value than any amount of money can. You must be prepared to follow through and to fully believe that you’ll never see or hear from her again, because women instinctively know when you’re faking.” ― Roosh V

Well bigger, I’m equal opportunity coming to Yabbos. Sabrina Nichole, Paige Steele, Azur Lane, or MILF Tres? Only yesterday I was talking about when she’s gone, that’s it, move on. I haven’t heard from anybody like MILF Dos, Okay, or Cherry. So out of the blue, here’s MILF Tres saying, “Good Evening.” I gave her nothing but room to explain. After her “Okay fine” and an opportunity to talk, that was it. I’m at a loss when it comes to talking to pretty girls, but I chose. You takes your chances, and makes your choice.

Hell, I don’t think that way when it comes to the Day Job. Christians talk about people accepting Hell. Do you recall the movie Full Metal Jacket, “a world of shit,” right? Again I wake up and take that and why. It’s always fear or laziness, both? I was attempting to burn my eyeballs out of my head to check my schedule. You know I even tried to schedule my car getting repaired and why. All so I can go someplace that I hate Lu.

Yeah, like Whataburger is so impressive the way they screwed up my order this morning. What about Walmart? This goes back into my laziness, but I’m going to miss part of NXT, perhaps. I have to get up and fetch food. Well, doesn’t that point everything out? I’m going to get food for a life that I would indeed not live. My firstborn has to eat so he can continue crapping it all out like last night. Not his fault, of course, I choose him over me all day every day without out fail Lu.

Only I’m failing everything else, losing MILF Tres and now Specs too. I don’t know where to start. Answer anywhere but A Loss For Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 046 ~Will, He Delivers Us~

WillLeave a comment

This is what happens when you watch too much stuff on President Numbnuts trying to destroy the postal service. Speaking of numbnuts, my SI: Swimsuit Edition came, and I’m not waiting for pretty clothes or prettier girls now. Will, He Delivers Us

Sunday, August 16, 2020

Gospel 046 ~Will, He Delivers Us~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I’ve only ever sent $1,500.00 in the mail ever. Now I wish I could admit that it was for a “good” cause. Yabbos give means to meaning. It’s why you got up this morning and smiled, checking the mailbox. Sports Illustrated (Swimsuit Edition). Sometime this afternoon, you will put $75.00 in your literal “spank bank.” Sex toys are “very expensive.” You’ll read some more from W. Anton this evening. Hell dude, you’re looking to buy “art” for Aerith Gainsborough and 2B.

Is Cupid one to deliver a paramour or porno? Either way, you’re not one to be out there, begging, “Please Mr. Postman.” For me, last week and the one before was waiting for a message that won’t come. So I’ll delete MILF Tres’s number, but her Yabbos… SIGH. Amazon is still on the ball, but they still work with USPS, right? You should look into not buying pretty clothes for girls that ain’t here yet. How about buying NieR: Automata or Final Fantasy VII? If only you weren’t on NO FAP? You have the porno NIER First Assembly and way too much on FFVII. The thing is you need to deliver a win in this life. Yes, I know that I messed up. For three days, I’ve been dreaming away. Even now, I’m still in bed, yelling at My Dæmon. But why, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 005 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Going To Bed Before Midnight
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing The Manual: What Women Want and How to Give It to Them by W. Anton
    Failed

Yes, only one point, the fact that you’re breathing, JSS (Just Survive Somehow). Jesus saves, or so THEY say. I haven’t believed that since GTA 2. Will you be delivered into the hands of the Devil this week? Ask the plethora of women you need not worry about pissing off. To have my way, I’d ask you to deliver a message to the universe. I wish I could give you a speech reminiscent of Independence Day (1996). How about something to the tune of The Matrix Reloaded (2003). All that comes to mind is the postal oath from The Postman (1997). Inspired by real-world events. Other than your life with everything that’s going on with the postal service these days. I even took a test to work for them once. No, wasn’t my idea, once upon a time. I failed, I think… Six Impossible Things?

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 005 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Going To Bed Before Midnight
  6. I AM Finishing The Manual: What Women Want and How to Give It to Them by W. Anton

I ask you for your characters, your future love, and even yourself. Somehow, someway, today, tomorrow, Will, He Delivers Us?

“Neither snow nor rain, nor gloom of night,

through bandits hail, through firefight,

through flood and plague, we cannot fail,

no holnist trash can stop the mail.” The Postman (1997)

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 045 ~Big Willie Style, NOT~

WillLeave a comment

No, I’m not getting jiggy with it, but how I wish. It’s ten at night already, and I haven’t been getting to bed until after two in the morning, and I know why. One of these days, the answer will be zombies, and I’ll be living. “Big Willie Style, NOT”

Saturday, August 15, 2020

Gospel 045 ~Big Willie Style, NOT~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and Will Smith isn’t? Now how would I accomplish this, seeing as how I couldn’t climb out of bed today? I know I say that a lot Lady Luna but I did go and get a couple of Honey Chicken Biscuits this morning. Yeah, making up for last week. Are they good enough but not my writing? I ask you? Is everything better than anything I can do? So what’s with the depression and the questions? One head has been busier than the other since Monday.

I have these phases when I get heavy into NO FAP, and now I know why. Excuse my language Lady Lu, this is more for Inspector Echo, but I am FUCKING Mad. Tuesday morning, I was at the Day Job listening to sad songs that turned into rap. I’m an African-American man, but that doesn’t mean I know anything about rap, but most of what I chose was angry. Now, if that’s not enough to scare “white” people, I’ve also been reading. No, not, The Manual: What Women Want and How to Give It to Them. Yesterday it put me to sleep. Instead, I’ve been looking over The Screwfly Solution. Let me guess, now I sound like one of those women-hating Incels, right? Hell Lady Lu, I’m not mad at anyone but me. This brings me back to the point; I’m only punishing myself again.

Instead of working like Will Smith, I’m doing me, which means sleeping. I won’t finish our conversation until later on tonight. No disrespect to people who have other addictions, but it’s like rehab. There’s nothing inside and what’s outside isn’t right. Speaking of outside, this is still the plague era. Porn is like a vaccine, you’re infected, and at the same time, you’re fighting the onslaught. If you knew how many times I’ve searched for Tifa Lockhart in the past few minutes. When I’m outside though, SIGH. THEY say the problem is men don’t look at women as people. Nowadays, I look at them as monsters. People have always been zombies to me, now I’m only running faster. Why can’t you just be normal? People cry over and over again.

When has anyone saw me as such and what they do see me as well, they “Make Me Wanna Die.”

They’re disappointed, Will Smith, W. Anton; Big Willie Style, NOT.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 039 ~The Silent Normality, Willie~

WillLeave a comment

Maybe it’s the fact that we all wear masks nowadays, which I’m not opposed to. How about the fact that my new Resident Evil mask came today? There’s always the fact there’s too much noise in the world. The Silent Normality, Willie

Sunday, August 9, 2020

Gospel 039 ~The Silent Normality, Willie~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but you’re still “normal.” If anything, you’re wondering how many times Grammarly is going to nail you for using that word. Hell, how many times will Hemingway ding you for using any speech that uses LY, right?

Now that in a roundabout sort of way brings you to today’s point. You wouldn’t be living if someone wasn’t telling you what to do. Yes, myself included, because I want to ask you to ignore us all. I wish I desire, I aspire to tell you this, but it would only be more noise. The Banality of Evil as the song plays. Because that’s what silence is, normal, hell Willie becomes. Do you know why you await the DEAD? They’re silent. I swear they are exactly like you, look at last night. Fapping away, what did you feel afterward… nothing? There you go, grunting in bed, which is only a step above walking into the Day Job. Everyone looking at you like you’re a beast, doing the same thing. It’s like something out of Land of the Dead, you’re pretending to be alive. One more reason you like it when it’s raining and living in this the time of Coronavirus. Still, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 034 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Going To Bed Before Midnight
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing Too Late, by Colleen Hoover
    Completed

Rule #2 states, “You Are Not A Caveman.” Despite what everyone thinks, there is nothing wrong with SILENCE. The problem lies with the fact that NORMAL sucks, and again those words are synonyms. You see, while you should be allowed to embrace the silence. I’m telling you to accept the normal, and that dear fellow cannot be tolerated. That’s what the Day Job is. I applaud us both for getting out of bed. You’re sitting here listening to Calmed by Nature like in some coffeehouse. Only you’re struggling, and it’s going to get worse. You started back reading that W. Anton book, which means you finished “Too Late.” Yay, you but reading for a day and it being something you’ve read before is normal. It’s one more word for dead. Speaking of which, the graveyard, which is Six Impossible Things.

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Going To Bed Before Midnight
  6. I AM Finishing The Manual: What Women Want and How to Give It to Them by W. Anton

Now with books, what about the “good book.” They say meek shall inherit… Now I don’t like that, but anything at this point beats normal, silent, and dead. All anyone talks about now is going back to that status quo. Not you, though. You’ll stop being The Silent Normality, Willie.

“Hungry people eat lunch, humble people serve it.” Johnny Cage

Most Hated Words: (My Newspeak List)

  1. Stupid
  2. Skeevy
  3. Fear
  4. Anxiety
  5. Creepy
  6. Normal
  7. Merge
  8. Happy
  9. Family-Friendly
  10. Just Kidding
  11. Tease
  12. Freak
  13. Lazy
  14. Sucks

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 038 ~A Touch Of Will~

WillLeave a comment

Promises of soft hands. The feel of fresh sheets and the little fuzzball that’s running around here when my kid isn’t plopped down in my lap. SIGH, if only I would publish my book, I’d have all the space in the world. “A Touch Of Will”

Saturday, August 8, 2020

Gospel 038 ~A Touch Of Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so you would think I have a touch of class. It’s been my experience that I find a touch of cash a lot more palatable. I’m sure I’ve told this story quite a few times. When I was a child, I’d dole out hugs for money.

So what, unconditional love isn’t enough? Now when it comes to my childhood, I wasn’t too keen on “puppies,” either. Not talking about Yabbos, hell, I’ve loved them since I first saw a “Jet” magazine. I mean actual dogs. I came back from school once and found my grandparents had gotten a dog. I suppose most children would be ecstatic. In my experience, I went running scared and jumped on the bed, where he couldn’t reach. Okay, so why am I waning all nostalgic? I Love My Dæmon Like Pancakes always and forever, but oh, give me patience. He’s an old man that only wants to be close to me, but sometimes it’s like I can’t breathe. The last thing I wish in this life is to be alone. Even now, I feel smothered today.

Is it any wonder that I’m enjoying living in this, our plague era? Why even now I wait for the zombie hordes to descend. How about taking my chances when it comes to The Purge? What about the fact that I’m into BDSM? Yes, I know Lady Lu that I broke again last night. It was a mix between MILF Tres, Momokun, Cherry, and St. Louis Luxurious Wheels. One of these girls is not like the other, am I right? My point is this. I can’t stand for something, someone so beautiful to touch me physically or emotionally, I know.

People say I wear my heart on my sleeve. My grandma would say I have so much pride. Someone even told me I have an ego. How can one person feel so insignificant? Yet in the same breath, see themselves as the center of the universe? It’s like my light is the size of a mustard seed. My face is that of The Hunchback of Notre Dame. I cover that with the most monstrous things I can imagine. The concept is they all hurt in one way or another, and my body can’t take it.

Yes, I’m touchy but money, mammaries, and my mattress? If but A Touch Of Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 032 ~Will Sees OTHER People~

WillLeave a comment

As the song goes, He Lives In You, but that means you have to wake up at some point, so what time is it? Hopefully, it’s not midnight by the time you’re posting this as tomorrow you want to see a better man in the mirror. Will Sees Other People.

Sunday, August 2, 2020

Gospel 032 ~Will Sees OTHER People~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but did you take your Dæmon for a walk today? Well, I hope you’re proud of yourself, soggy socks and all. One day, you should complain about the sidewalk path. How about, you know, marching with Black Lives Matter or doing anything to help the world? Again be proud that it’s 3:30 in the afternoon, and we’re actually having this conversation. Always the same one about being a better man. Only like I alluded to last night you have to say goodbye to the old one, me.

You have to stop trying to be a spokesmodel for the My Pillow Guy. Not that you would ever buy from him. What I mean is, where are you right now? You’re still in bed, wanting to fall back to sleep. If you’re going to stay awake, well, you know what does that right? So are you getting over Cherry? I mean, she wasn’t your girl or anything. God bless girls that want to show off their Yabbos. Now Fapping is a no go, but at least you’re no longer drooling over the possibility of Cherry’s Yabbos. To all of you, American Girls, as the song goes. Who’s thinking about the UK anyway? You’ll never be like Trump, forgetting all the world, but are you going to do something this week to help your country? Will you become a black man of substance, of worth, start with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 028 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 034 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Going To Complete My Novel For Camp NaNoWriMo On Monday
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Too Late, by Colleen Hoover
    Failed

Well, as you can see, I didn’t but two out of six. As you look on, that’s why I’m proud of you already. You’re going to see more of the man in the mirror, and you’re not going to look away. I want you to stand eye to eye with him and, once again, my sin, have PRIDE. Don’t be the man that chased Cherry away or MILF Dos. A girl saw enough in you and in me to share her body in a photograph. Yet you stand afraid that she’s playing you or that something will happen. You know that old saying of being a great man, be a man and let history judge. Don’t ever forget your son because you are his father. You chose him, and he deserves so much better from you. Your Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 034 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Going To Bed Before Midnight
  6. I AM Finishing Too Late, by Colleen Hoover

The old you is gone. It’s like you refuse to see Will Sees OTHER People.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 031 ~I’m One Will Away~

WillLeave a comment

Another week has come to pass, and I’m still not going to bed at a decent hour. I know the way, but I don’t have the will to work and hell wasn’t I doing the Day Job this week and 5000 words the last one. I’m One Will Away, from going crazy

Saturday, August 1, 2020

Gospel 031 ~I’m One Will Away~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but do I have the will to stay there? Lady Lu, there’s what you have to do, what you could do, and what you want to do. As the saying goes, you know, will meet the way and all. My motivations ask, what do you want?

I have no passion for the Day Job, but I find the will to get out of bed and go. Tonight I’ll say, has been pretty decent and then my “father” called. Do I call it will or fear the reason I answered it? All the money I need to be saving and yet here I go again staying out longer. People talk about being an adult is all about making these choices. You do what must get done. Again my motivations say, if you do what’s easy, life is hard. If you do what’s hard, life will be easy. So that demands the question, what am I complaining about. Yeah, I hate the Day Job, but when I know where I stand with it… With my “father” hell, that’s accepting the worst-case scenario. For the record, he called me about “Quidditch” duh. I take it he wanted to humiliate me. Of course, staying out to go to McDonald’s is no damn good at all.

Now, what could I be doing tonight other than waiting for this new girl to break me? I could have been finishing Colleen Hoover’s book. What about emptying out my exploding email? I could try getting to bed at a decent hour, which already isn’t happening. No, I spent most of today sleeping, and if not, that I’ve been hard. I could have walked My Dæmon. I swear the boy is being quite the little trooper. Next week will be easy, but do I have the will to do what is hard dear Lady Lu.

You know what I want to do. I want to write books full time. One day I want to own a cathouse. I want women begging me to see them naked. One more reason tonight has been “excellent.” Still, I want my hands on my keyboard and not in my pants. I’ll even settle on my zombies, finally coming to fruition. For this to happen, all these wills have to go. The Settler, Mr. I Don’t Feel Like It, the Wisher. I’m One Will Away.

I Will Have No Fear