Tag: Day Job

Episode 117 ~Scared, Will You Say~

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I’m not your boss, I’m not your boss, not anymore if ever, in the bedroom I have far more control, but in life, well there’s fear and don’t I talk about it often enough, and being so close to Halloween not that it matters. “Scared, Will You Say”

Friday, October 26, 2018

Episode 117 ~Scared, Will You Say~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, to tell you the truth a million doesn’t make you a BOSS; it does put you in a good position compared to most Americans though, like something sounding like “Fiddler On The Roof,” If I Were A Rich Man. I don’t mean to sound so political, I mean, what do I know right, that’s what I was saying at work, that I’m nobody’s boss, but a couple of people were looking to me for what… leadership, last time that happened I met DUMB, DUMBER, and DUMBEST.

“And it won’t make one bit of difference if I answer right or wrong.
When you’re rich, they think you really know!” – If I Were A Rich Man, Topol

I’m never scared to write about my more “DOMINANT” persona when it comes to the bedroom; as I was telling a friend, being in charge is a lot different when you can tie a person up and do all manner of “unspeakable” things. Even in my own stories sadly I show caution and then I still idolize someone like Le Marquis De Sade but he did go to jail and even he backtracked when it came to his novels. That’s going to be a reason for writing if I ever hear one, yeah I write because you have to think at least a second longer before letting anything burst out of your face I believe.

How about me singing, I won’t lie Ha, Ha anyway I’ve been thinking about that R. Kelly song I Wish, and I’m going to get the lyrics wrong, but I like those lines that go:

“And all I ever wanted is to be a better man
And I try to keep it real with my homies man
Want me to save the world I don’t understand
How did I become the leader of a billion men?”
R. Kelly, I Wish

The second reason I’m writing is, I believe there are other people out there like me, hell there are people a million times worse, and maybe this is my idea on “trying” to find them, but honestly, that scares me. How about this Lady Sophia, I was talking to “Okay” about The Fever Series by Karen Marie Moning and when I write it’s like I’m creating the “Sinsar Dubh” my dark magic attempting to get it out of me which should scare everyone, rape, murder, apocalypse and so much worse.

Better to keep it fiction right before I go off writing some BDSM contract, comparing a girl to a Brazzers or Reality Kings model, and don’t get me started on the words, more like the numbers on money, I once offered a woman three hundred for, yeah, more an Inspector Echo conversation. Good thing NaNoWriMo is coming up but how did I spend most of this day besides not reading the word “manager” under my name. I slept because I was afraid to write today, figured I’d sound like something out of “The Vault Girls,” “Virgin Roster” or my story “Love The Way You Run,” I put those two MILFS and that English Tart in it. I swear the things men come up with, my face is the horror, but my mind is apocalyptic; where is the terror, the man that is no longer writing of love and happiness perhaps *sigh* Scared, Will You Say.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 116 ~Will Connects The Dots~

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Money and then the woman, but I’m not saying she’s a golddigger, though I’m not above buying my way into Heaven with how I’m working these days, only I would be better off looking for a change of heart. Will Connects The Dots hopefully

Thursday, October 25, 2018

Episode 116 ~Will Connects The Dots~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, don’t be such a boob or better yet stare at a pair of them for extended periods because no matter what you call them, breasts, ta-tas, fun bags, whatever the feeling remains and yes I looked up the slang. If I’m looking up anything nowadays it should be for dotting I’s and crossing T’s but look at me today, well I did show up eventually but speaking of eyes *sigh*

If only I had such laser focus when it came to my words or can I blame work again, every day this week… that’s one good thing about my day job, you can’t wait to leave, if I ever did own a brothel, well… Is it fair to use “cathouse” and “romantic,” they say the eyes are the windows to the soul, and there was a time that was my focus when it came to a woman, the time of intimacy am I right? The days of having a heart but now it’s everything on the surface, freckles, nipples but is it odd that I don’t like too many tattoos on a girl; don’t get me wrong there are two moms and a lesbian chick I would happily fuck, still.

One of the many things I’m attempting to figure out about myself, what separates one girl from the next as I was telling Inspector Echo yesterday a person is supposed to control their feelings, but everything in this world is demanding honestly; such as being a dominant as well. You don’t change a submissive; you want her as she is but everything after that is to draw her more into you, like those connect the dots pictures. You have the idea, but you follow steps, and when you see her for what she is, you fill her in with your desires and hers My problem today has been the fact that I’m focusing on two dots on some cosplayer’s chest because… well one more puzzle, other than I’m horny honestly.

Too much pent-up energy, do I blame my “medication” or my new work ethic this week at the day job or maybe I’m dying and looking for a piece of “paradise” and however will I get there? The money is coming at this rate, not a lot but it’s something if I don’t fuck it up somehow, but no more dreams of anything so far, and don’t they say seeing is believing; with boobs, yes touching would help quite a bit… Will Connects The Dots.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 115 ~Will Sees Red Again~

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Well I was seeing red a few hours ago, and I’m voting blue soon enough if anyone asks, and work (not the day job) has been fruitful, well I guess that might be for you yo decide. “Will Sees Red Again”… no not at you silly

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

Episode 115 ~Will Sees Red Again~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, I know one thing I won’t be spending money on any black hoodies for a while but then again, work being work which is why I’m wearing the red one *sigh* let me explain. There are reasons you shouldn’t go around waving the Confederate flag, that “Very Fine People” would refrain from wearing Nazi uniforms, why KKK costumes are more about celebrating your heritage (of being an asshole) I’m just saying.

My first sin of the day *ahem* changing my clothes because wearing the same color as somebody I despise. Hell how about seeing the person I hate period doesn’t sit well with me, the rage has returned. Now I know you want to say that I control how I respond to people but let me put it this way, you’re going on a date, a girl gets dressed up, why… to get a reaction from you, and as much as most girls don’t want to admit it, if a guy is straight and seeing you, he wants to “bang” you, point blank period, get used to it. Some people I feel nothing for, some I want, and others fill me with rage, excuse me if my name isn’t Elsa and I won’t let it go, though there are ways, R.I.P.

“What, drawn, and talk of peace! I hate the word
As I hate hell, all Montagues, and thee” William Shakespeare

They say people can control you with rage, but that’s true on most emotions and what I feel today besides madness leads me to my second sin, how late this is coming along Inspector Echo but I did finish a short story, “Love The Way You Run,” still singing the praises of 5-hour ENERGY. Third would be the fact as I was telling “Indiana Gone” she knows what I think of my writing, but it’s supposed to hurt right, though it doesn’t bother me to say that my words suck most days. At least I think I know how to get through NaNoWriMo this year if tonight is any indication. Before I forget, how about politics, how stupid can some people be, and yes I will be going blue, my fourth sin, that YouTube at least thinks it can sway me somehow. Trump Sucks, Republicans.

Maybe I should have started talking to you first Inspector Echo; I swear I had some good stuff, but now I’m only blah awake, not feeling anything but getting a lot done, hopefully, no more porn, but some girls… Can you forgive me Inspector Echo for believing the clothes make the man is now an emotional response, how about for staying up late with TV and books, as always for hating my writing, and the state of politics, again I’m all blue, but today sorry but Will Sees Red Again?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 113 ~Always Write The Truest Sentence~

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As the song goes, every day I write the book or NOT, I found out it’s too late to submit a short story for competition but still, it’s not only a goal to write, it’s my purpose if that is the truth. “Always Write The Truest Sentence.”

Monday, October 22, 2018

Episode 113 ~Always Write The Truest Sentence~

Fifty-Fifth Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars, is there a fairer sentence these days, the first words of a short story I still plan on writing, all those missed sentences I didn’t read at work as I signed my name, how about the death sentence I hope has known conclusion, somebody getting fired. The truth of the matter is that first sentence; if it doesn’t do what is needed then the last sentence doesn’t matter now does it, and when it comes to you and the others, the concept of making a million dollars is it.

It sounds a lot better than, I’m getting in her pants this way or that way; already I’m beginning to look like a hypocrite, but damn do you know everything that a million dollars could get done simply. When I was a child, it used to be what two-hundred dollars could do, and like my money my sentences have grown as well and again like my finances, this is not always a good thing. My money and my writing have to speak for me because more often than not when I talk out loud, it’s not the real me and you know I despise liars but take this as true; if anything I’m an artist.

“Artists use lies to tell the truth. Yes, I created a lie. But because you believed it, you found something true about yourself.” ― Alan Moore, V for Vendetta (Goodreads)

I can’t say I rightly know what people find out about themselves when they read my writing but for the majority, when I speak I find out they are shit human beings, of course, there are exceptions “Indiana Gone,” “Okay,” yeah I can’t even name a few I can be myself around. So am I Will, when I’m writing… now that would be terrifying, a guy that would rather be with machines than people, a sadistic photographer who does everything to his victims, a vengeful cult-leader? Who do I want to be tomorrow, hell who do I want to be from minute to minute, this is more a question for Lady Sophia, but I’m not going to get to my short story today am I.

Love The Way You Run, working title of course but now I’m stuck on writing the first sentence, but it’s more like the story I tell myself when I first leave work, what did the general manager say “read between the lines.” First there have to be lines, and then there are words and somewhere in all of that junk lies me and if only someone would care to look but the fact that I’m not writing means *sigh* I don’t want to be found; is that the truth or a lie dear Madam Justice, Always Write The Truest Sentence.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 112 ~Willie It’s Cold Outside~

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Last week I was too hot, this past week I was too cold, so when will I have a week when I’m just right, can’t say the people, precipitation, or my purpose are helping, considering I’m stuck in the day job, gratefully. “Willie, It’s Cold Outside”

Sunday, October 21, 2018

Episode 112 ~Willie It’s Cold Outside~

To Will:
How To Make One Million Dollars, cold hard cash as it were, I can’t say I have made any headway in such an endeavor but perhaps you may if work keeps being work and you find yourself stuck there. Isn’t that what we don’t want, a man of contradiction deciding between what needs to go out and what needs to stay in and the MILF isn’t helping though I steered clear of the porn… for the most part *cough* “Goblin Slayer” *cough* right.

If I’m not talking about that bit of hardness, how about what I think I did, I mean I still don’t know right, I reported “Dumbest” and this past week I haven’t seen him, I treat the day job like my life, and here I’ve gone and taken someone’s… possibly but good riddance. The world can be a cold, cruel, and complicated place, a lesson that must constantly know exploration, but you know better to go wishing on a star, hell with how you have worked today making up for my “shortcomings.” Should that go on the list, stop comparing everything to penis size, if it’s not all the pretty girls, it’s the dicks you work with and if I could have focused more on you know, Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 009 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 016 No Fap)
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
Failed
3. I Will Review Church. (Church #1) By Stylo Fantome
Completed
4. I Will Review “Under His Heel.” By Adara Wolf
Completed
5. I Will Finish Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
Completed
6. I Will Edit At Least One Chapter of “Apocalypse Rush”
Failed

A 67 D, and the only person getting it is me but what about you, no excuses but you have $400.00 in your wallet that is more than enough for the kid’s meds, a bath, and getting those nails clip; I gave up two off days to make more money; Treachery is the Ninth Circle of Hell you know. You have plenty to talk about with Inspector Echo and Dirty Diana, but of course, you’re stuck, frozen, fearful, and forgetful except to all that scares you, no wonder your character in the novel is known as a Dragon. Philosophy, one of the questions you will face is how to break the ice, that is without melting; pieces of you are okay, these Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 016 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
4. I Will Write A “Horror” Short-story
5. I Will Finish Depredation By Natalie Bennett
6. I Will Edit At Least One Chapter of “Apocalypse Rush”

You should probably review something else but when’s the last time you’ve had a clear inbox, hell there’s still one email from last year, we’re stuck with women on the brain, and again it’s not like you’re going anywhere you want this week. Better to stay bundled up when you can, harden your heart, which is the least of your sins, and follow my example of how to keep your pants on no matter the cosplayer, pornstar, English tart, or incredibly hot MILF, I mean seriously Willie It’s Cold Outside.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 111 ~One Way Will Work~

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Let’s give the boy a hand as the song goes, failed to get fired, to be completely lazy though if I heard the voice on the PA right but how often am I right, after all, I work retail, and that’s not working for me. One Way Will Work, such is hope

Saturday, October 20, 2018

Episode 111 ~One Way Will Work~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, last week I talked about going to work and how scared I was of losing my job and is it sad that nothing has changed about that; yes I am grateful, but the thing about any of the employment I’ve held is that I’ve wanted to go. Writing has its good days, and off days, but with the day job there is mind-numbing terror every day, hateful, half-sick, hiding but never hopeful, hell I have PCH for that, and I screwed that up too; my mailing will never make it before the deadline to be sure.

The thing is, what I will do for writing, start a blog, chug a 5-Hour Energy, drive to the library, the money I have spent wasting my time but that makes me feel better than the day job ever has. Hell take today as an example, I researched where to buy stamps so I can mail that stupid PCH letter that won’t make it because that gives me a hope that the rest of this week has never brought me. I know you must be asking yourself Lady Lu why I’m ragging on the day job so much considering, some announcement I’m not even sure I heard succinctly that scared me enough to think I’m losing my job, that does nothing.

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Thomas A. Edison

That is how I feel at work Luna; seven years I’m not sure how many days but not one of them has brought me hope, happiness, or hunger, indeed I’m more likely to puke my brains out and don’t get me started on the bathroom situation again. So like my friend “Okay” suggest, write the book, get published, do the work, one of my motivations talks about how to get rid of fear, but how does one stop Sloth, today still sets the perfect example because how much have I gotten done. One book review written up, picking up stamps, and now talking to you, and once again I believe there is a chance of winning the big sweepstakes; the deadline is the 22nd and tomorrow’s Sunday, so there’s that.

Writing should be my only plan, but I can’t break free, at least not intentionally, a fight, a feeling, getting fired and that brings up a random writing concept… what’s with me and “Alliteration” these days, it’s quite fun with titling my Pinterest “Spank Bank” as Cherry calls it but how many times have I used this writing trope today? Thousands of words that haven’t worked but how do I know, I know retail isn’t but with so much Lady Lu, do I still believe, One Way Will Work?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 110 ~Enemies Wills And Writes~

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Who doesn’t have an enemy, you could be sitting in a monstery and Tibet, and some monk is giving somebody grief, and how much is a shiny rock in comparison to a weapon. “Enemies Wills And Writes”

Friday, October 19, 2018

Episode 110 ~Enemies Wills And Writes~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, isn’t it ironic that we spend more on our enemies than we do on our friends, I swear cruelty can be exhausting, and I have a new “respect” for those that practice it. Any writer must know a thing or two about suffering and fear; I don’t care if you’re Mother Goose, and I love my son like pancakes and can give you a million stories, but of course, the last one will hurt the most, a great fear Lady Sophia.

When that day comes, but no worries today about him, only why don’t I write about him more… because when would I find the time to write something good, when there is so much evil in the world. Worry about everything else, that’s what I do, like today at the day job, one enemy said something over the PA, hell I wish there was a memo I misread so I wouldn’t be killing myself over it. What a weapon a voice is, and don’t get me wrong I do believe that the pen is mightier than the sword but that doesn’t stop me from owning a few weapons and what is a weapons purpose, what is a writer’s reason hmm?

“The artist’s job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.” ― Woody Allen Midnight in Paris: The Shooting Script (From Goodreads)

Words are just so potent as a weapon, am I writing a will, a want, how about a warning, it’s a good thing I didn’t give one of those to an enemy right; I still haven’t seen him since last week, and I would almost be giddy if it weren’t for today. Working today *sigh* I had so much time but that’s the real problem, most days I’m my worst enemy, and while I’m not a killer, I’m a pretty decent sadist next to one group in particular. Women, before you freak out, I would never consider women the enemy, this is more keeping myself in check but as much as I hate to admit it, and I have several times, why did I go back to blogging these days.

Writing is not my enemy, to me, it’s like limping off the battlefield and asking myself the question of what will I do with the rest of my life, what dream was there before the war, what dreams may come after, why is there no longer anyone to fight. Wickedness that I can create enemies out of my imagination isn’t it, and OCD mixed with some paranoia doesn’t help but when you know what haunts you, hurts you, and makes you horny well then you have something to write about, so Enemies Wills And Writes.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 109 ~A Greed With Will~

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Doing what you love isn’t working right; now I could tell you exactly what that is to me and most people would say that’s not the L Word, others would say it’s illegal unless you live in Nevada or Rhode Island. “A Greed With Will”

Thursday, October 18, 2018

Episode 109 ~A Greed With Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, did I mention I miss Hugh Hefner and now Dennis Hof, how about the man I want to be, the man I should be? Only Sloth trumps Greed in my book, which explains why I’m hopped up on 5-hour ENERGY. Will I ever stop singing praises to it, well people are continually going on and on about blessed coffee, football, or the “president,” but you know what revs me up, boobs, butts, and ahem beauty.

That’s how such great men made their living, and that’s what I want to do with my life, beauties in both book and brothels, but I’ve been thinking about a niche, well I mean other than everything. Most people I’ve talked to about this know that I’m into brunettes, I still haven’t figured out why considering I’ll go for blondes, redheads, multicolor hair, the list goes on; a man must have choices and I’m still a traditionalist when it comes to marriage. Not talking to that guy right now, no I’m staying a dreamer, and I should be a worker, yeah the guy that spent all of his pay and then some, if I could horde cash the way I do the ladies, and how I should my dark secrets.

I know this isn’t sounding sexy but besides being on hiatus from you know what, I’m thinking more business, not to mention I’m greedy with my time today, which is something I find more valuable than both ladies and money and if I chose between the two… Both are only a means to an end, POWER but nobody lives forever, and when I see everything that I’m missing out on; now I don’t want to be some old man with some eighteen-year-old out for my money. I want to be some old man taking other guys money and getting all my sex for free, and again I’m not getting into love today; love and sex can be entirely different entities.

At the end of each day though, we want it all but what are we willing to do to have that; sometimes I think I’m freaking insane; a friend asked me, what would be so bad about losing the day job I hate every day, to what, write a book about what I love? I choose the money because the idea of flesh, fulfilling a need, let’s agree maybe “fucking” looks worse than the love of money but I want more; A Greed With Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 108 ~Meet The Complacent Will~

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I’m okay, no more and no less, I survive one more day, and I think… yeah right, on to the next one and soon it doesn’t hurt so much, dare I say there is a little less fear after a while? Meet The Complacent Will

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

Episode 108 ~Meet The Complacent Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, don’t go to therapy; you think my job pays me enough for health insurance? Stay awake maybe, well look at me today, and eat healthy, again look at where I work. The thing is I still work there, so does Dumb and Dumber and as far as Dumbest, I could be way off the mark, but I haven’t seen him since last week, could I possibly be so lucky… highly doubtful, PCH hasn’t shown up with my big check as such.

That’s my first sin, but even you ask though you are way smarter than Rudy Giuliani. Can hope be a sin, I said yesterday I pray for my dog though I don’t believe in any deity. Every day I plan for the best, and I woke up in my drool, and I wanted to see a black man fall. My second sin is that this makes me as normal as anybody else, I remember when America learned Osama Bin Laden got put down and there was such celebration. Sure he was a killer but are we not better? I know a young woman who took a bullet and another woman who is a dear friend who got robbed, and neither has seen their assailants brought to justice, this world can be better. This leads me to my third sin, it’s people that make this world what it is, and another coworker asked me about my job and if I go through so much crap, hell like my boss, why don’t I leave, and that’s the magic word for today Inspector Echo, COMPLACENCY, I am complacent.

My fourth sin is that I’m willing to accept it, all last week and now this week it’s been; please let me keep my job, no fear Inspector, as I have said the fight does not bother me it’s what I’ll have to do. That’s five, the fact that I have returned to my normal state which is no damn good, wake up, go to work, come back and pass out, then talk to you or any of the girls about making a million dollars all so I can speak with actual girls. Even in that, I have become quite complacent maybe I’m that damn greedy, or perhaps I’m a pervert but if I counted that as a sin every single week I’m screwed right…

So what’s my plan for tomorrow, I could be wrong of course about the situation, and that means, the sixth sin for today. I am going to worry tonight, and the man I want to be should focus on making the world, well my world a better place; I want to be like Dennis Hof may he rest in peace. Will you forgive me Inspector Echo for wishing to see another person fall (nevermind). I apologize for being, well human. For accepting this life in its ways, for not “trying” harder, and for another night of worry. Hell for those five minutes I remembered someone else that threatened to ruin me, but I Ain’t Happy but Meet The Complacent Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 106 ~For My Opportunity Anything Goes~

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Today was an opportunity for a decent day, every day is born with the same hope, but you must be willing to fight for it both metaphorically and literally as other people take their chances and make their choices. “For My Opportunity Anything Goes.”

Monday, October 15, 2018

Episode 106 ~For My Opportunity Anything Goes~

Fifty-Forth Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars, I heard somewhere that you don’t wait for the opportunity to knock, you drag it inside kicking and screaming… everything is violent. I’m still caught up in last week. You see when I fight it’s not to teach a lesson, it’s not only the need to defend myself but when I reach that level I’m not even thinking about winning, I have but one function for the victory… kill.

“Tell me why you kept on kicking him. You had already won.”

“Knocking him down won the first fight. I wanted to win all the next ones, too. So they’d leave me alone.” Ender’s Game

One of my favorite motivational speakers says there are only three words that you need; “WHATEVER IT TAKES” this is what makes a person unstoppable, limitless, you do this because there is no other way. I was speaking to Cherry, and she said, writing shouldn’t be a chore, and I won’t lie to you, it can be damn hard sometimes but so can breathing, sleeping, hell being me, Superman (It’s Not Easy), so compared to all that, writing is natural. Everyday something can come of this though I can’t say I’m thinking positively in that aspect, you do remember why I got back into blogging, keeping anything close to a journal, find a girl that pisses you off, or that you like a lot, both ended the same way, honestly.

I have a question though; if writing is my Plan A, why am I still working retail, I even told my coworkers today, if I’m still at it in fifteen years, go ahead and shoot me but to think at one point I did see that job as an opportunity… the pursuit of happiness it is not. There was an opportunity today for a more permanent position at work, but seriously I couldn’t run a crew of three black guys, I like being in charge, but a whip might send the wrong message, and I’ve said it before, if I were white, hand me a polo shirt, and a Tiki Torch. Money though opens up plenty of opportunities which is why I’m always so concerned about it nowadays because without it… so why is right here and now so important, every day I take this time to get it all out, regardless of what comes of it, such ill will.

In every moment lies opportunity and I learned a long time ago, you don’t have to play by everyone else’s rules, I’ve been thinking about this at work *ahem* I’m not here to be your fucking entertainment, I’m not here to be your damn friend, I won’t be taking your shit anymore. I am here to make money, this is my opportunity to do something so that I can have a better life far away from you assholes and if that means fighting for my right to exist, can you hear me now, if anything For My Opportunity Anything Goes.

I Will Have No Fear