Gospel 094 ~Dying For The Will~

I would kill for a nap right now, but why not for money, is that any better? At least when I’m sleeping, no one is being hurt fictionally or factually but didn’t my son wake me up yesterday. His heart problems… “Dying For The Will, where’s my heart?”

Saturday, October 3, 2020

Gospel 094 ~Dying For The Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and yet have no one to leave my fortune to. If I had the money, somewhere on the list would be how to make dogs live longer. Yesterday I brought up that the Dæmon and I had a bit of a scare. My son’s heart was working too hard, and my heart? It seems only when it’s breaking, is when I realize I have one at all. Every other time well… as you know, I commit many a sin, most based on FEAR. While not one of the seven deadly or nine circles a crime. But today, let’s talk about SLOTH.

THEY say it’s the most difficult sin to define, and like any disease it is, will or has killed me. Hell, if this was the Day Job we were talking about, I wouldn’t be complaining. Don’t I love writing? Wasn’t I almost on time today, 4:15 AM? Get up at 4:00 AM, 3:00 if ET. Dearest Lu, I don’t mean to be so down today. I’m a black man living in America. Even when we’re up, we’re down for the struggle, praying, or living the dream. I guess all those typing lessons in school didn’t take as I watch my fingers flying and son napping. However, I always know that I can do so much better for him. For us, but I might die right here on this couch someday because I neither want to do or try. Why is it every day I sound more like a Republican, but then again, I want to vote. Let’s say I’m inspired.

To what, help my country and indeed the world. Didn’t I talk about wearing masks and how I didn’t want anyone to die? If anything, I like the apocalyptic aesthetic. Well, it turns out that was false hmm as I watch people celebrate (you know who) get carted off for treatment. Only there’s no antidote for laziness, for Sloth. I wonder why are conversations take so long, Lady Luna, and it’s because I want everything to be perfect… Now again, isn’t that one more lie? My fingers and tongue have all the energy in the world to make up excuses. Of course, if this was the Day Job? Now that’s something I don’t want to lose. Yet here I am sitting, writing, I love it but Dying For The Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Looking Dim

A month or so before a bad day, I know bad days are coming and I didn’t really want to say it back then or now; let’s just say it was like graduating high school, had nothing to do with me. Looking Dim, because the future wasn’t all that bright.

Aging in the black
Yet the light grows brighter
For life, I have no knack
My heart grew no lighter
The deck is stacked

So blow them out
So many candles
No name now
My vandals

A moment eyes closed
But their lips are wide
Think I don’t know
Teeth, fangs, and knives
I hope they choke

So knock them out
Feast of flesh
Smacking so loud
Why aren’t I dead yet

The dark sky
Shows all its victims
And who am I
But a cell in the system
No goodbye

So don’t look up
Can’t help but feel envy
I was never enough
Abomination, God murder me

Would you take my picture?
Make me famous
These vultures much richer
How I hope it’s painless
Suicide’s the pitcher

So don’t be in pictures
But the world will know
Maybe an itchy trigger finger
On with the show

Smoke and fire
Beats breathing
This light my desire
I should be leaving
Still, I won’t be admired

So don’t die
Rage, rage
Against the dying of the light
That you made

As you closed your eyes
The Abomination
Yet you wonder why
I chose such a sin
Finally in the light
That’s looking dim

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.