Tag: Honesty

Log 260 ~It’s Called Love Will~

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The good news I’m not binging on toilet paper, I got enough for me, ha. While my kid, well, he has his puppy pads and grass, but the bad news isn’t I have come down with the love bug of a romantic sort. It’s Called Love Will.

Tuesday, March 17, 2020

Log 260 ~It’s Called Love Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, that’s something I won’t keep a secret. Neither is the fact that I hate my father. My Love, I’ve said before as Meat Loaf sang, I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that. What, reconcile with my father, give away my firstborn, give up on my dreams? Anyway, as much as I despise him, and the fact that he abused my mom, cheated on her, and other things.

The thing is when she’s hurt or sick; he’s been there, always. I want to do the same, I will, babydoll. Let me be the Francesco to your Graziana if you’ll have me, My Love.

You can thank The Gargoyle for that reference. It’s a coincidence that I’m reading a story set during the Black Death while we live in the Plague Era. One more reason to make money before we’re all trapped inside. Of course, you know me so well, for me it’s paradise. Now I’m not sick with the Coronavirus (COVID-19), but I’m no fun when I’m out for the count. You’ll tell me it can’t be healthy to watch movies like Contagion, Daybreak, and Maggie. I’ll binge on The Walking Dead and Containment. How will you ever cope? I’ve talked about how love is often akin to dying. I don’t talk enough; you take my breath away. My knees get weak; my heart skips a beat, I’m falling for you, all over again. Don’t even get me started on calling you an angel, and here I want to go to heaven now.

I can’t say I know what to do when you get sick. Like my father, I sat with my mom, but that’s all I knew. There’s a friend of mine. Now when she had “women issues,” I bought her a ton of chocolate, gave her a blanket, and we watched movies. When it was My Dæmon, I stayed up all night, cradling him and reading something more “family-friendly.” I can tell you; I’ll be right here with you. One thing with me being such a baby, nothing phases me but to see you in pain or sick? A conversation for another time when it comes to the pain, but I did cringe when my son cried out because of a tick in his ear. I don’t know what terror awaits us, dear zombie apocalypse partner.

Together, It’s Called Love Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 259 ~Words Chosen Carefully Are Best~

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Well, perhaps my greatest weapon is silence. People think I’m STUPID when most days it’s how not to go to jail and then I come here and what do I say, here you go officer Exhibit A and lying? “Words Chosen Carefully Are Best”

Monday, March 16, 2020

Log 259 ~Words Chosen Carefully Are Best~

Hundred And Twenty-Eighth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but rich people trust everyone else to be STUPID. My apologies for using that word again and for thinking it ever. The truth though Madam Justice, well what is right or fact. I want to talk about my words, but then the question is, who am I?

How I like to think I pick my words for a purpose, but over the past few days, it has only been a jumble. For some time now, I look at my words like I’ll be played out to Exit Music (For A Film), my “dang” fingers and dirty mind.

Let’s start there with my trying not to swear. Don’t get me wrong; there will be a time and place for it, Madam Justice. I’ve heard people talk about foul language as a sign of high intelligence. I still find it crass and tacky unless in the right context or you’re a hot Irish girl, thank you, Katie O’Shaughnessy. Speaking of women, I see myself talking one of three ways, one as “Beggin.” The second is logical; I got money, and what do I spend that money on, WOMEN. Third, a man should be a man. I’m a Dominant for God’s sake. Only how many times have I got in trouble for being direct, forward, aggressive, dangerous? The internet seems to think so too, can I look up anything that can’t find it’s way into sex? Today (Saturday Morning), I had to write down exactly what I was doing to keep focus. I would say I should make a grocery list, but yeah, the store.

What’s the word they’re using now, um Pandemic. I talk about it being the Plague Era, and I’m not afraid. Well, I’m still joking, but I haven’t ever seen Walmart like that. I continue to use the word “excited” because I am, I built worlds off of an apocalypse. Someone could discover Audible from my stories someday, I wonder. Don’t get me wrong; I still like Audible, but it’s hard sometimes because I get so caught up in the story. Yeah, it’s pretty strange, huh I can’t keep it in my pants, I’m still hearing Rainey moaning away “Daddy.” Last is my son, who can say what he wants and knows I’ll always listen close. Three words, I Love You otherwise I’d never know them. What else can I say? Words Chosen Carefully Are Best.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 258 ~Don’t Scare Me, Will~

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Make them remember what fear tastes like, I’m sure I heard that in a movie somewhere. So how does fear taste, soggy popcorn, more McDonald’s, that breath listening to Dark Notes? Don’t Scare Me, Will.

Sunday, March 15, 2020

Log 258 ~Don’t Scare Me, Will~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but will you be as scared as the rest of the 1%? The good news is I won’t be afraid for much longer (Friday). No, I don’t mean to sound morbid, I’m not suicidal. Well, tell that to McDonald’s and Regal Cinema. What I mean is, as always, this is about to be your problem. I got you here, and I can only hope you do better. How so, well as the song goes, “Be Not So Fearful.” Yeah, good luck, right?

Now, if we talked about everything you fear, well, would it end? So here I am making up new ones like getting the Coronavirus (COVID-19). You would have to deal with it, but I’m a warrior, and soon you will be, no doubt. Why have such an idea, could it be the soggy bag of popcorn at Regal, while I watched The Hunt? I had to stop eating it, and besides the lousy food, I’m not as smart as I believe. Was the movie that goofy and am I so petty that I want to complain. Should I complain about McDonald’s too? Not their fault, I’m always eating there. If anything, I should go shopping, with the way things are going these days. Best case scenario, I’ll give you something to work with but let’s hope it won’t be the same ole Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Making The Bed Every Morning No Matter What
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Writing My Latest Novella
    Failed

At least I’m making the bed because when I climb in I get, STUPID. I know that’s such an ugly word, but aren’t all of these that I continue to sputter, week after week. I’m afraid it will remain this way forever. Speaking of which My Dæmon. He has his age and his heart, and even with medication, I saw him coughing. Notice I never say I’m the greatest father, but he takes his meds every day. He got to stay in my room all day today; he sleeps on the bed. My Firstborn got his walk, but it’s not enough, I fear. I’m a father, but I’m also a man, and why can’t I keep it in my pants? To leave you with some hope, I present an opportunity. While I was “researching” Earth Erotic, I noticed they give backstories. “Merchandise” needs it. Something new for Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Writing A Backstory For Earth Erotic’s Sales Merchandise
  6. I AM Finishing Writing My Latest Novella

Keep making the bed, but with these hands, stuff and thangs Don’t Scare Me, Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 255 ~Will Trips In Eden~

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Having played Detroit: Become Human once upon a time, if the Eden Club becomes a real place, then society is doomed. So it was with the first Eden right, and there are plenty of sins available. “Will Trips In Eden.”

Thursday, March 12, 2020

Log 255 ~Will Trips In Eden~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so that means I own several brothels. If I weren’t listening to Pam Godwin’s novel Dark Notes, I would be listening to Dennis Hof. Third time’s the charm, and I’m still looking for my first Threesome. Anyway, today let us look at four alternative Bordellos.

Books, of course, is where my story begins. I keep telling myself, write a bestseller, make a million bucks. I haven’t looked at my novella in over a week, though. To think Bridgman was in the middle of getting a tit job from the lovely, well, you know who. It’s not like I can send that bit of prose out. What about GULP, though. Hell today (Tuesday), I was getting reacquainted with Cherry. Not blaming her, I wouldn’t be writing or editing anyway. Again I’ve read The Gargoyle and was imagining a few different tits, Marianne, Rainey, Cherry, Ivory. Does my “Father” have a point that I read too much?

Babes, or to be more specific, TTB. I am trying not to sound like Matthew McConaughey from Dazed and Confused. Starting a modeling agency though, well once I’m well established. One here and one European. If you ever wanted me to study the metric system, this is the way. I still remember when I found the “treasure trove” on Motherless. I was so scared when I discovered Little Lupe, Dolly Little, Dakota Skye, the Monroe sisters. Cue the Homer Drool.

Bollocks ha, speaking of the Metric System, do you remember my Red Dawn Fantasy. Two girls, redheads, The Purge, fight to the death, my Necro Leanings. Yeah, I’m still talking to Alice Little, but Ruby Rae bowed out SIGH. Anyway, there has been a resurgence around a forgotten fetish “Love/Sex Dolls.” The Bedroom Soapbox was all about Real Dolls, and now I’ve seen Piper Dolls, Earth Erotic, the list continues.

Why not go all out, Sex Robots, Detroit: Become Human with the Eden Club, a North and Kara threesome. I should also stop watching Nier: Automata. Damn you, Studio Fow, for “First Assembly” so awesome.

Banking on making my mark on the world, so I stop adding to my “Spank Bank.” Dirty Diana, I have been all over the place. From DollyDicker to Subscribe Star Adult, and did I mention speaking to Alice a little.

Dirty Diana, I’ll keep walking, always trying to make bucks until Will Trips In Eden.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 254 ~Now That’s Will Silence~

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It’s quiet, too quiet or I’m going deaf in one way or another, I swear the things we learn to live with and why should we, I don’t like raising my voice I know that when there’s such great music and books. Now That’s Will Silence.

Wednesday, March 11, 2020

Log 254 ~Now That’s Will Silence~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but shouldn’t silence come free. Yes, Inspector Echo, the humming continues, and I’m back to the drawing board as to the cause. Well, unless I would like to scream as I fall off the roof. Knowing me, though, I would never only we’ll get to that. At least on Sunday, I heard something quite beautiful. Eugene and his “ladylove” Stephanie singing. I have a few in my life though, one’s married, another is asexual, and shall we talk about the one I’ve wanted to see naked.

Keep it PG, well I am trying Inspector Echo. If we have to talk about something in my pants, what about the money I saved today? I know I was craving McDonald’s as always, but I only bought what I needed from the store today (Monday). While this might sound mundane and give way to gross thoughts, I bought stuff to unclog the toilet. I still need to buy a new toilet seat for downstairs, but nobody is complaining. Of course, then we have my Old Man. I finally told him the other car isn’t working, won’t even start now. Not that I was using it, but yeah, I’m losing it, and nevertheless, that’s a blow. You know I’m a hoarder of everything, but when did I become a car guy? Still, I must be silent, I wasn’t paying for the car, so it’s his.

I can’t give him any more of my problems like Norton and H&R Block. You tell me not to worry, and perhaps it’s been a week of nothing. No warnings, no alerts, no fear, but if I’m not obsessing over that, what else is there? Cherry, I haven’t spoken to her in a couple of days. I didn’t tell her to shut up. But don’t I know how to drive a girl away. At least it broke me out of my pantyhose/stockings/thigh high fetish for now. I’ll confess, Fechikano isn’t going away anytime soon. Still, I go back and forth when it comes to what a girl says. I’ve talked about audiobooks and how I enjoyed listening to the character of Rainey Summer Day. One word, “Daddy.” I finished “Lust” today, but Chasity Griffin shudders. Finally, there’s my new fetish, let’s say, the girls don’t talk much, not at all.

Sorry about that Inspector Echo so, Now That’ Will Silence.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 253 ~Willing Form Of Excess~

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As the song goes, why didn’t I say, the things I needed to say, in a way I guess I’m following suit with everyone else, and the truth shall set you free, of the mortal coil that is, falling in love SIGH. Willing Form Of Excess, yep it’s too much

Tuesday, March 10, 2020

Log 253 ~Willing Form Of Excess~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and as always, I want more. My Love, my heart exists in the seven pounds of fluff, that is, My Firstborn. I could hold it my IPad or Kindle when I get a new one, of course. At one point, it could fit like the chocolate on my pillow. My heart is the boom in my ears with whatever I choose to listen to. I could keep it in my wallet, in my pocket, it is every word on the screen. This heart of mine, baby girl, could fit on a computer screen, and I wanted so badly to see it in the mirror. Then one day SUDDENLY, I met you.

Yes, I like Billy Ocean, but ahem that’s beside the point. Sometimes I think I’m drowning in you baby doll. Have you ever noticed that love is always akin to dying? Knees get weak, can’t catch your breath, falling? Butterflies in your stomach, silence, fly away. I could go on, but love seems scary, painful, and torturous. So you think I’m running away from you and the children. I’ve said I’ll never be one of those men with a “Man Cave,” I prefer a Study. Okay, I will have a TV and video games. Anyway, my point is and I’ve said this enough I am afraid if you ever got to know everything. If you knew what I spent three hours today looking up? You know my businesses, my writings, my dreams, but I am a greedy such and such.

Running, I’ll admit to that, but as the song goes, take me as I am, take my life, who am I, Robin Hood? Now, If I were yours indeed, as you are mine, my heart, like the Grinch, grows three times. My Love, there wouldn’t be room for everything I feel for you and our family. I’ve said I would not destroy my vision, not even for you. I’m all Tangled with you being my New Dream. To share this with you, to never burn it away but to bathe in it. You’re my mermaid, my siren, my tsunami, and did I mention I never learned to swim. Worse is I know who I am, what I am, and like Edward, to Bella, I want to protect your soul. There is a reason I’ve always liked good girls, innocent, pure.

I build this world even greater, More, for love of you, Willing Form Of Excess.

“You’ll never be just anything. A tsunami can never be ‘just’ a wave.”
“Get off my chin.”
“I like that about you. Waves are banal. Tsunamis reshape the Earth. Under the right circumstances, even entire civilizations.”
I blink.
“You’re going to be one hell of a woman one day” Iced

I Will Have No Fear

Log 252 ~Heart Hurts More Than Body~

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My Ma would tell me to go easy with all the seasoning salt. I’ve got quite a long history with women, plus I have my furry kid, I haven’t had a heart attack yet, but I know all about broken hearts. Heart Hurts More Than Body.

Monday, March 9, 2020

Log 252 ~Heart Hurts More Than Body~

Hundred And Twenty-Seventh Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, if only because I refuse to see a doctor. Not because I’m afraid. Indeed in this time of plague with the Coronavirus (COVID-19), I’m excited. Now I know that doesn’t sound right, and it shouldn’t, not until there are zombies. Okay, I’ll stop, I know I’m not funny. I’ve never laughed so much until it hurts. Madam Justice, I’m not one for self-harm. Fists at drywall, STUPID things while people watch. Giving into FAPPING (it’s Saturday). Anyway, my body takes a lot, but what about my heart?

Most recently, what I said about Cherry and I don’t mean my novella. I speak my heart to you and the others Madam Justice. No secrets, but you and I both know that’s a lie. If I told you everything, then we would see the end, and that’s how you know I’m not suicidal. Still, it happens the same way; I try to talk to one girl, I speak innocence to another, I don’t tell one more and wham. I’m having a “Harriet the Spy” moment because it’s like they weren’t supposed to see that. I put my heart out here so the body can keep going. The thing is nobody wants my heart. I think that’s why I’ve been down as of late. If I don’t write out how I am, the body keeps it in, and I “mess” up, horny, hatred, heartfelt, whatever.

Women though SIGH, let’s talk about something else that hurts my heart, My Dæmon. My little boy is getting older; he’s bumping into walls, avoiding his walks on cold days, sleeping more. Then again, I’m in bed, and he only wants to be near his Dad. I’m still not working on my stories, and I miss them—what a waste of the day. Somebody took my shift at the Day Job and how did I spend it, Madam Justice, lying here looking at the usual. Even my FEAR of my father doesn’t have me doing anything. Okay, so hurting my friends or them getting hurt, Indiana Gone told me she got punched in the face. My little boy and my writing, what more do I love in this world. The man in the mirror that is such a waste that it hurts to witness myself.

Only the body doesn’t quit, fingers, eyes, ears, dang humming, Heart Hurts More Than Body.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 251 ~A Question Of Willies~

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When am I going to start back writing, when will I get rid of this “dang” humming? How long can I hold out this time, and will I ever read a book with an average guy with no issues, like my six impossible things. A Question Of Willies.

Sunday, March 08, 2020

Log 251 ~A Question Of Willies~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but you keep buying your books, BBQ, and sexual investments. We’ll keep it “PG” as much as possible today. Also note to self, being a southern man and all, I should know not all BBQ places are equal. Today’s was yuck. Now seeing today is (Friday) this subject would be perfect but of course, time-traveler. So I noticed a pattern this morning about you and recent books.

  1. The Gargoyle by Andrew Davidson (Loses His Accidental)
  2. The Five by Lily White (Can’t Control His)
  3. Lust by Ker Dukey (Hates His)

“What!” I hear you scream and then “Ouch,” finally, you cross your legs. Okay do you need context, we have the PORNOGRAPHER, who burns his off in a car accident. A DOCTOR who has to keep his hands off his subject. SPOILER ALERT, he dies in the end. Lastly, we have a college boy who has to film the girl he loves, having sex. I’ve always had this dream that I want a girl I love so much that I don’t want to film her; okay, instead won’t share what I shoot. It’s not Thursday, and don’t get me started on the drama I dealt with for what I said. Anyway, the question is, as usual, what is the matter with you? Yeah, you haven’t done anything yet, but if you follow in my footsteps? We steady on as always. Dealing with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 008 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Making The Bed Every Morning No Matter What
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Writing My Latest Novella
    Failed

Back to one, and just because you’re making the bed doesn’t mean you aren’t still sleeping. I haven’t mentioned the HUMMING in a day or so, but it’s still there. That’s something, while you’re contemplating the mysteries of “manhood.” You can’t keep running from this; you have to do something, one of many problems. Is it any wonder you are into audiobooks? You know what, that’s a theory, men who have lost their manhood for one reason or another. One man can love, but he can’t express it in such physical ways. Another loses control and can’t satisfy his girl. The third can please his girls but not himself until much later. As the song goes, I Can’t Get No Satisfaction, which would explain plenty of things. Well, what about not doing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Making The Bed Every Morning No Matter What
  6. I AM Finishing Writing My Latest Novella

What about thinking with another part of my anatomy? Another similarity, these men faced death, all A Question Of Willies.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 248 ~And Will’s Sentence Is~

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I’m not a BETA, better yet I’m not a BETA READER, but for someone who knows disdain for most of my words, there are plenty of people saying, “Hey Listen” like their Navi and I’m Link. “And Will’s Sentence Is,” well, it’s usually smut, but it’s honest

Thursday, March 5, 2020

Log 248 ~And Will’s Sentence Is~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and it starts with writing. Yes, I still intend to make my money much like Dennis Hof. Yet, I want to write a bestseller, and how is that getting along nowadays? I’ve learned that besides great sex, some men only want to be heard. Now that goes for everyone. We want a voice. I ask a lot of women Dirty Diana, sometimes too much, I understand. Words, though, are all I have, and yes, sometimes I take them for granted. I say bad things? Only to be ignored Dirty Diana, silence is a fierce weapon.

Okay, so none of this sounds sexy. Dammit, I’m not playing the ALPHA MALE right now. I won’t be a BETA, though, more to the point a BETA READER. That’s the crux of what’s bothering me these days. I’ve said before I like making women feel good, and do you know why. When women are pleased, so am I. The thing is I’m pleasing women and what am I getting out of it, Dirty Diana. Read my story, she says, praise my poem, tell me I’m pretty and what about me, hmm? My prose, you don’t have to read it, publish your poetry not that I care, be the pervert so I can laugh. I’m a sadist, I enjoy punishments but fuck how I will praise. I refuse to serve out a sentence where that’s all I do, so some girl can tell me where some guy can put his penis. I am so done.

I know that road, Dirty Diana. There was a time I wrote for “gentlemen,” and next thing you know, some girl is losing her panties. The same thing said with my face is a fucking jail sentence. Like I said pervert, and in some cases, yes, I’m skeevy. Even now, I don’t want to sound mean, but why not. It beats begging, didn’t I say that before I’m whining. Dirty Diana, I have no qualms about paying a woman for her body. To possess her mind, though, to know yeah, I’m a dick, but I want to please. Well, rage, rage, dying of the light, and all that which I failed today because I’m so stressed out. The truest sentence, I know, “No, I’m not your Beta-reader, what about me?”

My silence, smut, some shame, what. And Will’s Sentence Is

I Will Have No Fear

Log 247 ~Exit Stage Right Will~

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If you want to imagine the future, well having written a term paper on 1984 and receiving an F I rather not and that sin seems so insignificant to so many other things and yet I steady on, until the Thought Police or worse. Exit Stage Right Will

Wednesday, March 4, 2020

Log 247 ~Exit Stage Right Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and besides that again, I am no politician. Here’s something I’ve learned. If you ever want to know a politician, look at what they fight. They’re against gays, gay lovers, hard on guns, members of the NRA. How about protecting minors, besties with Jeffrey Epstein (shudders). You know I want to protect animals so again I don’t do politics, but yes I do vote. Now, why did I shudder? Well, this morning, I was introduced to a character in Black Mirror, never watching that, not ever.

So I’m listening to Exit Music (For A Film) by Radiohead. Fans of Black Mirror and Romeo & Juliet remember this song I know. Anyway, it got me to thinking Inspector Echo, if you were out there for real. How “messed up would I be for the following actions? Let’s start with something small. I read erotic books. When I’m at work, I started off listening to Dale Carnegie, The Gargoyle, now Beauty and the Professor. I have dirty playlists, and I’m never connecting to my Day Job’s Wi-Fi ever. My mother told me something about that years ago when she “lent” me her password, and she got in trouble. Speaking of good women, I won’t lie, yes I’ve been “into” Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Her dancing and some stupid boys talking about her. The latest controversy has been about Greta Thunberg. Some “pornographic” sticker some energy company made. Do I feel it’s wrong; well I looked it up and what did I see, reread the title, Inspector.

I don’t know a thing about most art. Now whether it’s a sticker or some story SIGH, what about my novella? I was almost begging someone to read my dirty thoughts. That’s humiliating in and of itself for several reasons. I just got my bill today for SubscribeStar, and why? So I can watch UnidentifiedSFM and for the love of everything don’t look that up. Of course, you still remember TTB, Teen Starlet, “Russian” ties. Finally, there’s what I want to do with my life. As much as I talk about needing a new plague, Coronavirus is exciting? I don’t want to hurt people, but someday Inspector Echo with all my sins, coming to light eventually hmm? Dale Carnegie says something interesting. Accept the worst and learn to keep going.

Until the sirens Inspector Echo, but I am so very sorry, Exit Stage Right Will.

I Will Have No Fear