Tag: Honesty

Episode 133 ~Will Vet For You~

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There are people out there fighting for my life, some who are protecting my son’s life and I dare to complain that I want all this living that I should be doing to mean something but nobody vetted my soul. “Will Vet For You.”

Sunday, November 11, 2018

Episode 133 ~Will Vet For You~

To Will:
How To Make One Million Dollars, I want to say if you can be you that “It’s Possible” to deserve it, to earn it and so much more and you look at yourself today on this Veteran’s Day. You’ve never been to war, you wanted to be a Veterinarian at one point, and now you sell your visions.

Even when you were a child you wanted to be a war correspondent, you knew then that the next battle was upon the horizon and you wanted to see it, never one for blood but lead, ink, a bunch of ones and zeros because you’re no hero. Hell you were a Navy Seaman (recruit) for about two weeks, how they make things look good on paper but they weren’t looking at you, they didn’t want to, nobody thought to vet you which is the point today. I don’t want to call you a loser, somebody not worth anything but today as always we evaluate who you are and what does this say, Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 030 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 002 No Fap)
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
Failed
3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
Failed
4. I Will Review Depredation By Natalie Bennett
Failed
5. I Will Finish Dancing In The Dark By T.L. Martin (Goodreads)
Failed
6. I Will Write 10,200 Words For My Novel “NaNoWriMo Challenge”
Failed

You can’t live your life so how can you be expected to save a life, especially knowing how you feel about most humans and for some stupid reason back in school you wished to work for The Humane Society and later become a Vet. Forever be grateful that “B III” is still alive but yes I talked a lot about the Vet that helped him, dispensing pills without any show of heart or compassion but still “Triple B” is okay. Another person that should get vetted but who are you to judge (Refer to #2) and that one point you get for even breathing and what will you do with your life, Six Impossible Things.

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
4. I Will Review Depredation By Natalie Bennett
5. I Will Finish Dancing In The Dark By T.L. Martin (Goodreads)
6. I Will Catch-Up Fully With My New Novel “NaNoWriMo Challenge”

So one group saw what they wanted you to become, another I judged but again I couldn’t do it, and I don’t think you have any plans to go to school for it, so I am asking you to vet yourself and see who you are but of course that hurts too much. If some were to judge your writing, yeah straight to jail but if it’s by the “man” everyone sees, back in school you were considered too weak for a while, juvenile hall you were nobody, at the day job you’re a workhorse. My biggest wish, every week for you is that you’ll be better than I was, you must be but who am I to speak for you, be The Man who fights, who fixes, who finally lives his purpose, who can vet a brand new man, I Will Vet For You.

Episode 130 ~Take My Will Away~

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As badly as you want air, that’s one of my concerns, I’m always looking for a reason not to breathe, because sometimes that is the hardest thing to do; I want to give life to some many so no wonder I feel like I’m in outer space. “Take My Will Away.”

Thursday, November 8, 2018

Episode 130 ~Take My Will Away~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, and “when” I do remind me not to blow it all on escorts, sex toys, porno, and erotica literature; money is one of many things that I need to keep my pants, but of course I blew it yesterday. You will have to excuse me if I do not feel that sexy besides fucking up “No Nut November” my son is sick but in recovery mode and is there anything sexier than the angels in my stories and not coming after four paws of fury.

My novel wasn’t exactly blowing me away last night, to be honest, but what happens, happens and somehow or another I’m going to have to capture a second wind, get ready for round two and even now I’m still up in more ways than one. The good thing about not talking so much is the fact that I’m not wasting air, hell Dirty Diana, a dominant’s rule is supposed to be absolute, thus providing more atmosphere for his submissive to perform her tasks and of course scream. Here’s another idea, why is it that the most beautiful things are meant to take your breath away, to give life to them, a feeling of paradise, and let’s say love isn’t exactly known to make people smarter, gibberish writing am I right?

Somehow those people can locate some part of Heaven, something much more significant than themselves and again gives life to those that take their breath away for a moment in time. I already told you before, I’m not feeling sexy time, but I’m writing as always to provide a future, my son needs that, he took my breath away the day he came to be in my world. Has any woman done that lately, for a release here or there my breath has caught in my throat; my son loves life, and he was trying to find fresh air, scary.

I need to give breath to so many things, but it’s getting harder to catch at least one for myself, and maybe that’s because like in American Beauty, there’s so much beauty in the world or stupidity, thinking with the little head instead of the big one. The little one has been getting far too much these last two days, giving into such lusts when what I love is threatened; love Take My Will Away.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 129 ~The List Will Tell~

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Over ten thousand words so far and dare I say even more fantasies or am I giving myself far too much credit because I say yes to everything and that is quite the bad habit; maybe I should list that, but instead it’s insanity. The List Will Tell.

Wednesday, November 7, 2018

Episode 129 ~The List Will Tell~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, say things people want to hear, say yes, and sadly in my everyday life I have become a yes man, day job okay, going to vote… noted I would have gone anyway but I had to show proof; FEAR, of course, is always yes. How about NaNoWriMo, honestly it’s only been seven days, and I’m already sick of it, I could probably take it easy if it wasn’t for the day job but again yes to my RESEARCH, yes to being a pervert, yes to a future I won’t believe ever.

Now that’s my second sin; the first is all the times I say yes and I’m sure I’ve written about saying NO, if anything that would be better than what I’m producing right now, hell I forgot about that story I sent in and of course I didn’t win. According to my motivations, your purpose is the thing that you would do for free and hell yeah I’m doing it for free now, though I feel I could use some new pants. My third sin this week, I’m barely hanging in there when it comes to No Nut November or whatever they’re calling it, which leads me to my fourth sin, staying off the Internet.

Perhaps my greatest sin this week is my RESEARCH, I made a whole list of reasons why I should go to jail; somebody asked me what my dream was and I told them it was becoming two specific guys. Both of them better men than me for so many reasons but I’m also greedy; the Coven I created in my novel has thirteen members, and the thirteen classes of girls, and probably more twists and turns and curves, cue *Homer Drooling*. I think missing all of my sleep is my penance for all my crimes this week, but it’s never enough Inspector Echo I know that to be true, even in fiction though I’m letting something quite evil Get Free.

Do you want to see it; some names are changed or not exactly mentioned because I’m not that crazy, well not yet anyway though my story would beg to differ which is the whole point, NaNoWriMo and the day job. So Inspector Echo will you forgive me of my sins, the constant stream of yes, for once again living for a future I don’t believe in, for having far too many reasons to give into the little head, for the constant wasting of time online and the girls that made this… The List Will Tell.

1 – 3. European Photoshoots 6. The Walking Dead 10. Amateur Redheads
4. Girl From Pinterest 7 – 8. Vault Girls 11. Model Redheads
5. A Horror Movie 9. Virgin Roster 12. Rhode Island
13. A MILF

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 128 ~A Willing Shoulder Please~

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As the song goes, put your head on my shoulder, I’m sure plenty of people are doing that tonight, worried about the fate of the country, but I love America, and I’ll love an actual person someday maybe. A Willing Shoulder Please

Tuesday, November 6, 2018

Episode 128 ~A Willing Shoulder Please~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, first off I don’t think you ask for it but is it strange to say it’s a gift; I’ve said before I didn’t like how Aloe Blacc sang that love is the prize and while love may require one to Work, Hustle, Kill, heavy the head that wears the crown. That’s one thing I don’t miss, “trying” to figure us out, and yes I’m always ready to quote Master Yoda, but today I find that love can be as easy as finding the left shoulder to lean on in a way.

Yes, I said left maybe because it’s Election Day and I’m hoping I won’t burst into tears… nah never about politics, probably something more stupid but yes my son will cry and show teeth. So you know when he’s an angel he’s at my left sleeping; when playing a devil, little bit stays to my right, you probably remember this when you first came over and even when there’s love, my first born demands it all, so he sits between us. I can also say with great certainty, that my shoulders are comfortable, two people went to sleep, one during church which is understandable, an another during “Revenge Of The Sith” I’m as amazed as you are my love honestly.

You also know I’m not the most positive man and I don’t mean anxiety (this time), no I might play the Devil but when it comes to all of us “We Are Groot” because sometimes all you need is a few words or none. Maybe I’m thinking of the cross we all have to bear, and again life shouldn’t always be like that, I swear Atlas never had it so good, to hold you here on my shoulder. It could be that when you cry, the tears reach my heart or maybe I need a new wardrobe, lipstick is always a better excuse than Kool-Aid, trust me I know love.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a shoulder from someone to lean on I wonder does it make me weird that I want to lie in your lap, if it works for my first born, maybe he takes after me, always finding a new comfy spot, to feel love, or to go to sleep. A new way to find peace and we need a piece of somebody else, and All Of Me, loves all of you now but when this all began all we needed was A Willing Shoulder Please.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 127 ~They Don’t Understand Your Shit~

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Nobody has to understand you to be successful; hell people can know everything you say is a lie, and you can still be president, but I’m only a writer, with his real fantasies and fictional stories but will they know? They Don’t Understand Your Shit.

Monday, November 5, 2018

Episode 127 ~They Don’t Understand Your Shit~

Fifty-Seven Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars, a part of me wants to say, be Donald Trump but we understand his shit, he’s an asshole, now I could talk about his followers but more to the point I think about “Braco,” “E.L. James,” or The Walking Dead Fandom. I know that alone comes off as confusing, but that’s everything when it comes to me, thus the rule because nobody understands and in truth, I hope they never figure it out because if they ever do that…

For example, today is the hell if I know “anniversary” of almost getting fired from the day job and why… skeevy, pervert, stalker perhaps, take your pick, just like I do, I was afraid, I’m a traditionalist, and I consider myself better with words on paper ha. How about the fact that nobody seems to understands me at work when I attempt to speak because my voice comes off so small, and don’t even get me started on how many times I’m referred to as “Ma’am” when I’m picking up food. What about my novel, don’t I mention NaNoWriMo daily but anyway, my protagonist and antagonist are “sleeping with” two girls, before that they were having fun with three more.

The good news is if by descriptions you can recognize them you’re probably very “wrong” like me, but honestly games like “Virgin Roster” don’t get made themselves, somebody greenlit the game “Rapelay,” certain costumes get made, and photo shoots get done. Some people like football, others The Walking Dead, athletes die sometimes, and people cheer for teams as if they’ve done something, but I’m wrong for worrying about Walkers or liking The Purge. “Indiana Gone,” told me that the key is communication but even if wasn’t for “The Tower of Babel” (I don’t get religious people honestly) understanding especially in these days is not valued.

I keep telling myself that even if I don’t get my novel I must be saying something but to me, it’s only a list of sexual fantasies in an apocalyptic universe which allows for my darkness; for maybe a day I thought I was into Teratophilia… perhaps a little. What about wants, wishes, woolgather, my writing, I can’t tell the day job all of that is why I would rather not lose week after week to take care of their shit, honestly Madam Justice I don’t understand and they can’t, They Don’t Understand Your Shit.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 126 ~Will, A Motivational Tale~

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Burning the candle at both ends as it were but honestly, I choose writing, what did I hear in one of my daily motivations, the difference between I got to, and I get to and if I’m lucky I’ll live the later. “Will, A Motivational Tale.”

Sunday, November 4, 2018

Episode 126 ~Will, A Motivational Tale~

To Will:
How To Make A Million Dollars, well honestly the hardest part is waking up in the morning, remember to take the trash out, and as much order as you try to impose you’re going to bug out sometimes, literally. Yeah you’re going to have plenty of time to think about a lot of things, this time the event happened before the dream, a freaking ant invasion, talk about getting off my ass to do something, and you need to take that motivation into this week, it’s NaNoWriMo season.

I don’t know how many times I’ve mentioned that and its only day four and there is still so much writing to be done and you’re going to do it, not because I have faith, or that you love the idea of it but because that’s who you are. Why is it that tragedy is the thing that works its magic, of everything in this world, fear and horrible circumstance are what raises the dead man. Sometimes I envy my son, of course, he wakes up with his share of “concerns” but more often than you at least he wakes up with hope to get something done in this world but these Six Impossible Things

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 023 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 030 No Fap)
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
Failed
3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
Failed
4. I Will Review Depredation By Natalie Bennett
Failed
5. I Will Finish Dancing In The Dark By T.L. Martin (Goodreads)
Failed
6. I Will Edit At Least One Chapter of “Apocalypse Rush”
Failed

Well, 17.5, no excuses, so let’s look at the positives, I’m still awake at this hour, my word count remains intact at 6,900, and if I heard them correctly at my day job, Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbest are all gone, talk about some good news. You will have to be bolder at work though and the hours aren’t getting any easier but what is “Eric Thomas” always talking about you have to be willing to give up sleep, now that’s an addiction, but it surpasses porn and what’s this latest novel about again. If anything were to come of it you’d miss plenty of sleep, or at least that’s the plan but what does that make me; any closer to that million, you should probably focus on Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 030 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
4. I Will Review Depredation By Natalie Bennett
5. I Will Finish Dancing In The Dark By T.L. Martin (Goodreads)
6. I Will Write 10,200 Words For My Novel “NaNoWriMo Challenge”

Strange isn’t it to give your word to write so many more and when did NaNoWriMo become the boss of you, I swear if it isn’t novels, it’s bugs, and sooner or later it will be babes, starting up with the alliteration once again, hungry, horny, hanging in there barely. Where is hope in all of this, I would give you a quote but seriously though, keep your hands on the keyboard and see what happens, only your next novel isn’t Will, A Motivational Tale.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 123 ~Will Does Dirty Deeds

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Should I go to a strip club already, or maybe I should become a “hobbyists” only in America do you crack down on the women before the guns but I feel like I’m going to… well given the news so much for free speech. Will Does Dirty Deeds

Thursday, November 1, 2018

Episode 123 ~Will Does Dirty Deeds

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, keep your money and your dick in your pants for starters and who pays for porn nowadays anyway, though I have before, some DVD’s here or there “Isaku” for example, Virgin Roster Shukketsubo, Casual Romance Club Houkago Ren’ai CLUB, PC games. I also own some sex toys, and for a while, I was working on a closet for a potential submissive, but of course, life has to do its thing, and you can’t make a deal with it, what did one of my motivations say “life does not accept payment plans” but do women… perhaps?

If it worked for Christian Grey, but I don’t have that type of scratch. Otherwise, I would be in Nevada this very moment and in cute little redhead Alice Little; maybe if NaNoWriMo works out and I get published and how has that gone today? Yeah, I’m way too busy thinking about that MILF again, I wonder did she take my advice as she’s now trying to be a model maybe… so much for anything, I could give her am I right? Hell, I have been down that road before with a pornstar, the legendary Mia Rose, but no girl is looking for a guy with nothing… okay so maybe that shows how much I know about women, just saying.

Maybe wishing, hoping, imagining what life would be like if this was Brazzers or Reality Kings but if it isn’t my exercising MILF I’m dreaming of it’s the one closer to “home” a Twelve-Hour deal, and no not The Purge though I do have a fantasy there. The way I see it she could come to the house and do her usual for two to three hours, but before she heads upstairs she would do a striptease and wear something I picked, and she wouldn’t leave me wanting in the oral department let’s say or a handjob. Week two, there’s a difference between making love and fucking; we would do the former and talk about week three.

Now that would be the best day, BDSM two and a half hours’ scene followed with aftercare and lunch, maybe a small nap or a shower, she would have her own, given this place, it does have benefits. Such deeds though require such digits, and quite the Devil, and am I him, at the moment all I can say is I’ve felt better, no energy boosts today, but I’m nowhere near where I need to be, all my worries, writing and two women how Will Does Dirty Deeds.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 122 ~Sin What Will’s Reading~

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Last week it was voting and the erotica reading group I belong to votes every month, and I’m still trying to catch up and dare I say it write another book, because I don’t burn them, trashed one maybe two. Sin What Will’s Reading.

Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Episode 122 ~Sin What Will’s Reading~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, stop spending all my money on books, how about my new plan of reading one before I start writing for the day and hell I have four books ready to go so why not get one published. Tonight is for monsters being Halloween and all; perhaps you think I should be talking to Lady Sophia as well between reading and being the eve of NaNoWriMo but let’s focus more on my sins involving books thus far.

My first two experiences with drugs happened by accident, one on Halloween night and the other with a book on Vietnam; I wasn’t “poisoned per se, but while I never got cut by some razor blade or needle in my candy, I got a nice dose of LSD, so why the trust issues? Now the book, which I can’t even remember the title came from me saying “I need to get high,” figure of speech or friend selling me a dime bag of weed and hiding it in my book, I mean I did pay him after all, just saying.

This night makes me feel young a bit. While I was still in school, I often used books to hide because I couldn’t use my Walkman. Seriously what’s my age again but anyway I became quite visible when some stupid bitch threw my copy of “The Amber Spyglass” at another girl, no such thing as Kindle because if there were… God help her. I also discovered the first book I could never finish; I think it was called The Moonstone, added to that list are “Lord of the Flies” and The Bible though I have read through several books including John and Revelation of course.

Being an adult though, and here’s a doozy of a sin, I read “Fifty Shades of Grey” now I’ve always had a taste for BDSM but when I read that book *sigh* it was an awakening for me somewhat, as I began studying BDSM in earnest, and it’s damn well-been erotica ever since. You see my “father” never gave me “The Talk” so my first look at sex was all the Hentai I could print but that doesn’t help in the real world ever, though I made quite a collage.

My sexual experiences were somewhat, subdued because I didn’t understand my cravings, Sadism, Ravishment, I didn’t know about contracts, SSC or RACK so I began studying, here’s the thing though, guys that read period are nerds, the man cave instead of the study or we’re perverted because this stuff is female porn. So Lady Sophia, forgive me for books distracting me, being used as drug mules, for not defending them or giving up and for being both a nerd and creep, but honestly not being prepared for NaNoWriMo tonight because *sigh* Sin What Will’s Reading.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 121 ~Will, I Never, Again~

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I’m so confused, or maybe I’m a hypocrite as long as I’m not my dad, I want more money and a much bigger heart, and I might have that, never say never as it’s fun to still dream about sometimes. Will, I Never, Again

Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Episode 121 ~Will, I Never, Again~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, I suppose I’ll start by never buying drinks for myself, saves a few dollars but if I were to believe the media, the marketplace, and “mates” women do nothing but drink, and then there’s you maybe? Yeah, I can’t hold my liquor, I don’t like coffee, and cigarettes are disgusting, of course, I’ve never smoked… a “cigarette” but I will never, thanks to my father, strangely enough, doesn’t get enough credit.

How I’ll never have children that are afraid of me, hell I see that with my first born, granddad didn’t spoil him bunches and didn’t think much of me either or my mother for that matter. You’ve undoubtedly noticed that’s why I like to maintain control, mostly myself but probably why I’m so protective of you, the kids, our home because I will never lose control as he did, the man he became because of his rage. You wonder why we don’t necessarily visit my side of the family and that’s a conversation for another time, but I will never have their sort of past for us, and here I sit wanting the option of a lot of money, making up for everything; who am I to complain, I benefited.

Only I know I will never let money become more important than love. Indeed it could never match, I’ve worked forever and a day but with all those hours the twenty seconds it took to talk to you the first time… I can guarantee I will never be going through that again, and now suddenly I think that’s an insult, I’ve talked to plenty of women, and while I’ll never be a man of faith when I met you, I can’t explain it. God, fate, somehow, someway I found you, and I can’t ever imagine feeling that again, never, about anything else. Well okay, the first time I held Triple B; when I saw our two-legged kids. When I was ready to cut a guy to protect myself, it never gets easier to say I love myself but loving you, that’s as easy as breathing.

How you can love the man I am, and I think I’ve changed from the guy I was but you’ve never loved another like me, and I will never want another like you, I choose you always and forever. There’s no comparing the things I will never do to the things I’ve done; the two of us together, never say never, love will never stop being so confusing am I right? Will, I Never, Again.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 120 ~Don’t Make Their Lies True~

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I don’t bother to introduce myself; I won’t even say hello because if the conversation goes further than that, do you care how I am, should I care how you are, sooner or later you’ll lie to yourself about me. Don’t Make Their Lies True

Monday, October 22, 2018

Episode 120 ~Don’t Make Their Lies True~

Fifty-Sixth Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars, the first bit of change but why should I, you know it’s never me wanting to fit in, it’s what’s left inside me, and then I don’t recognize who I am anymore, yet one more reason I avoid mirrors.

Last week I talked about writing a decent sentence but how many people have seen that coming from me, no instead I believed the first lie from my “father” and that was “stupid” everything about me. Madam Justice I don’t want to be a downer today but isn’t ironic that with lies you can be president but the truth can put you in prison regardless of guilt or innocence, I heard again I was stupid in my “home,” and thus I became it. So I’ve spent my life wanting to be everything but, I read every day, I attempted to join Mensa, hell I don’t know how many books I’ve written, but I struggle with such small tasks making my father and everyone else smarter.

In the flesh, I am ugly, and like the Phantom, Quasimodo, or Cyrano de Bergerac, I began to wear masks, I hide upstairs; my downstairs barely has furnishings, and I don’t bother to fix the doorbell; how about the fact that I hide behind words? I don’t check mirrors because there is no point, I wear hoodies and dark colors, I keep earphones on always, the music a feeble attempt to drown out the lie that is becoming the truth.

Of course, I can’t neglect this, let’s say half-truth that got me here talking to you… how many times will I return to this; I was acting skeevy and creepy to a girl, fair enough, I started talking to Lady Lu and next thing you know I’m a stalker. Now if comparing a girl to Brazzers or Reality Kings is one thing, I get the same damn reaction if I write something sweet, of course, when “gentlemen” pay me for my words, they get girls panties to drop quick. Even now you might say I sound bitter, to one girl I’m too sweet, to another I attempt to nail her whenever she comes by, but my point is I don’t know my truth as I’m in many lies and falsehoods.

With that on repeat having never known myself since the cradle, believing and knowing I was worthless, nothing, and stupid and having the world echo that well… it started with one man and a bitch here or there; it can end with one man, me, that’s if I figure out who I am one day, Don’t Make Their Lies True.

I Will Have No Fear