Tag: Women

Log 068 ~I Will This Year~

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Here I am as the song goes, one more year and if you asked my honest opinion on whether I’m better or worse, well unlike our president I can freely admit that I messed up but next time? “I Will This Year.”

Saturday, September 7, 2019

Log 068 ~I Will This Year~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now or here’s hoping as right now it’s Friday. Last week I spoke about being on the stock exchange. If anything now is the time to take stock of my life. Hell on the previous “DAY” I sat in front of my TV eating expensive McDonald’s. I didn’t want to go out.

Today, “Friday” I took five hundred dollars and went to a strip club. I still have that same five hundred dollars. Don’t look at me like that Lady Lu. I did cut the grass, and I still have to clean the whole house tonight. I also picked up spaghetti sauce and more McDonald’s. The best “DAY” I had was years ago, feeling up “Okay” and then taking “Indiana Gone” to the movies. What this DAY will bring, I don’t want to know. I said before it’s like being back in high school bad grades and all. There was nothing to celebrate. For the most part, I’ve hidden it well. Damn my bank, Facebook, and even Team USA. So I’m not doing anything? I could go to the movies or out for Chinese. I could order a steak and baked potato. For once I could pay for porn. Like buying my first Fleshlight all over again.

Of course I should be in Reno. I told you all this before; my Red Dawn Purge Fantasy. So what’s my age again as the song goes? Better question, how will this new year be any different. Last year I said I would be sitting on a million. I could be looking at it right now. The only thing is, it’s on white paper instead of green. Alice wanted $200 for doing absolutely nothing, would serve me right. I spend $14.00 not to FAP. Years ago I paid $300 to do so in style, three sleeves, a case, and three tubes of lube. As I was listening to my motivations while cutting the grass again, they say Find Your Purpose. It’s been a year, and I still know what it is and the secret of life. It’s the least I can do to share such things with you.

Seek Out A Kingdom Worthy Of Your Soul

The Adult Entertainment Industry

Don’t make promises that you can’t keep. For now, all I know is I want to survive today and tomorrow. JSS, I Will This Year.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 066 ~Lust This Once Will~

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Last week I said, Somebody’s Got To Do It and every day when I’m not living up to my potential well hell, I’ve nearly quit my job a few times this week for people treating me like I’m stupid and I shouldn’t be happy. Lust This Once Will, I wish.

Thursday, September 5, 2019

Log 066 ~Lust This Once Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but Dennis Hof was worth more. I can imagine the stories Jimmy Stephens can tell. Only this week, I began studying Sean Weathers. They’re B-Movies; lacking funding but quite fascinating.

I’m somewhat uneasy mentioning these gentlemen. That alone might suggest this line of work isn’t for me in some way. However, much like my writing, though it’s something that has never left my mind. In a way it’s like people and religion. My steadfast belief in the zombie apocalypse. What about that dream where my mom was ashamed of what I do. It’s one of the reasons I’ve been studying. Hell, I wanted to be a YouTube reactor once. Tell me how to do that on-screen screen action I mean everyone does that. It’s a man’s purpose to talk a woman out of her clothes, procreation and such. I’ve done it before with my poetry though I didn’t reap the benefits. I’ve paid to get it done but no sex; talk about self-control though “Okay” might disagree. Now what Diana?

Dennis Hof wrote about taking girls on dates. Only he wasn’t the boyfriend. Bad boys would pay him to fool the parents, and all he need do is deliver the girl for the real dater. Doesn’t that sound evil but I’ve sounded like that all day. Today is Wednesday. I also read that Jimmy Stephens is getting back into the business. Now you know I can do that on Pinterest. I got nailed for one of my boards a year or so ago with “clothed” adult actresses. One of my “hottest” boards though it’s strange. Lastly, Sean Weathers; now let’s say his movies pan out at $3,000 to $5,000 a pop? I’m not that brutal, yeah says the man who tried to talk two redheads into a Purge/The Corpse of Anna Fritz mash-up. I only got a thousand and a publishing contract that’s gathering dust.

Yeah, I could be working on my book, but I’m talking to you a day early. Instead I have research, how much actresses cost, equipment, and video release forms. Doesn’t sound sexy today but it beats the organization skills of the Day Job. Also I’m still keeping it in my pants. Thursday I will be much too tired and humiliated. What happened to positivity, my Day Job, that’s what. Be happy, Lust This Once Will

I Will Have No Fear

Log 065 ~Get Off Will’s Lawn~

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I suppose I should feel blessed. My “father” offered to pay if I find somebody to cut the lawn. I had a maid too once upon a time, and I’m looking for a new one. All Hell am I lazy or getting older. “Get Off Will’s Lawn”

Wednesday, September 4, 2019

Log 065 ~Get Off Will’s Lawn~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now; only I lack a “green” thumb in other areas. The front yard is a mess. My firstborn is giving me looks about the backyard. Hell Inspector Echo, he’s an old man like me these days. Shouldn’t I show gratitude for being this old and having a yard to complain about anyway?

Yes, that comes from one of my motivations; start the day with gratitude. I start my day off with temptations, those two being today Tifa Lockhart and MILF Dos. I should also add Tessa Fowler to the mix. Seriously a fake FB profile of “Amanda Casanova.” Somebody knows my type of woman well That’s What I Like. Now Money, That’s What I Want. I apologize for all the musical references, hell I’m still paying for Spotify. Yesterday though after getting my kid’s vitamins and treats, I couldn’t resist McDonald’s. Add my desire for fast food to that of boobs. Oh you know we’re going to get into that today and tomorrow. If you need something more wholesome though, there’s my firstborn. I sat outside the other day while he played because there were too many kids around. I was almost the old man yelling get off my lawn; time Echo.

In my mirror, I see it every day; my face is growing gray. Do I want to tell you how old I am? You know I nearly forgot about “The Day.” I should have put it in my Six Impossible Things. There are no plans for surviving one more when I should have been dead years ago. Now I’m not suicidal, but I am horny as Hell. Talk about get off my lawn; it’s a struggle resisting the call. Meaning hand in my pants; NO FAP sucks, and yesterday and even now is crazy. These past dark days have been all about sex work. Isn’t that the dream job and I won’t apologize for that. Since I couldn’t stocks and bonds, I’ve been studying up on the business. If not research then I’m still reading Beautiful Tears, I’m still ahead some. I want to write erotica, but again you know my vision extends far beyond.

Sean Weathers, for example, I don’t know what I felt when I discovered him. Whitney Wright who is also a favorite is moving behind the camera some. I’m sorry it’s taking so long; so much yelling Get Off Will’s Lawn.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 063 ~Winning Isn’t Fighting Our Hate~

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I’m against the NRA, but for background checks; military spending is crazy, but I wouldn’t mind building an armory; not one for Jesus, yet the dead will walk the Earth one day. Winning Isn’t Fighting Our Hate but waiting to see what we love the most.

Monday, September 2, 2019

Log 063 ~Winning Isn’t Fighting Our Hate~

One-Hundredth Rule Madam Justice

I AM a Millionaire right now, and that’s good because I need plenty of weapons. It’s in the life goals list to build an armory. Indiana Gone would tell you I’m a true believer in the coming zombie apocalypse. Do you think I’ll have time to “define” all my rules before then? Hell Madam Justice what about counting up all my blessings? Seeing as how I’m on Writing Reason 343 I’ll need a new list soon. If I counted up everything I hate, I would never stop. What about everything that tempts me. Today’s spanky is quite small, Jessica Nigri and Katelyn Nacon, blonde, brunette.

Now some might ask me why I mention black women rarely, if at all. It’s the white women who are creeped out the fastest and block me fast, I have seen. I love my mom, and my sister is alright. One day I’ll go all into it, but in truth, black women exhaust me Madam Justice. All women can tire a man, but first, there are those that I chase. Some get me high but require a week or so of rehab. Some to be sure will look for a fight. Finally, the last of them make me run. Tell me which is worse hate or indifference? At the moment, ironically, I hate indifference. Take for example, the NO FAP Challenge. Fighting against my nature sucks but ignoring it daily. You wonder why I am so exhausted. How do “THEY” say hurry up and wait.

Sounds like an erotica novel, waiting for Brandt and Harper to fall in love. Speaking of love, isn’t that me and writing. Writing, Women, and Wealth; I wrote a whole thing yesterday trying to get women naked with wealth. For those of you keeping score $1,029.70 and that’s not counting the bank. Doesn’t sound like one million? A couple thousand more there, and a few thousand more on my RD investment. One of the reasons I’m not afraid of poverty or plan to make money on tits. Sorry to sound crass but being horny can be a bitch (LANGUAGE). Let me talk about something I hate. There’s Failure, Anxiety, Terror, Hate, Error, Revulsion. Again if you’re keeping track that spells FATHER, talk about ideas. Also, you have to excuse me for watching a bit of Divergent this morning Madam Justice.

You either embrace or ignore, Winning Isn’t Fighting Our Hate.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 061 ~Will To Learn Hmm~

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Advertising, Branding, Photography, when I was in high school I did try to learn French “the language of love” for obvious reasons, in college it was journalism, which explains my research skills, hell my mom’s a banker. “Will To Learn Hmm”

Saturday, August 31, 2019

Log 061 ~Will To Learn Hmm~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now or tomorrow? At least I woke up like one. Checking the Stock Exchange and waking up to someone cute. Of course, I have yet to invest. That someone cute is seven pounds of fluff, four legs, and I love him like pancakes. I said that in one year I would be a millionaire. So the question becomes, why aren’t I? Can I blame PCH? Hell should I be blaming my temptations, there’s been a few. Whatever happened to Shailene Woodley?

Speaking of things I’m learning, it’s all about money. Did I believe I would find the likes of Pure Taboo, Fetish Network, Reality Kings, Brazzers as stocks? For a second there, yeah I kind of did. I’ve found a few shares here or there but nothing that speaks to me Lady Lu. Think outside the box as THEY say. I found a company that does condoms. Talk about a business that will always be needed. I still have my submissive closet, so maybe I’ll look for something in Spicy Lingerie or the like. I continue to see the “broken” which isn’t very polite to say such things. It took everything within me not to make an offer to a young woman only yesterday. What about this morning? Yeah, I’m all sorts of terrified that a polite hello or an inquiry might cost me a friend.

I read somewhere that women don’t decide where to eat because of Adam and Eve. At the moment I get where Eve is coming from ha. Last time she did something somewhat “innocent” humanity was screwed. My firstborn still flinches as though I may hurt him. Am I that much of a monster? Will I ever learn to be good? It would start by putting some money up for treats and such. I’m too busy trying to treat myself or be a man. It would be something like Manhood training in Roots. No, my father taught me to fear both God and Man. God doesn’t bother me but trusting another human being? One more reason I like the path of sex and submission. Pain, Passion, and Power Lady Lu. To relish one, share the other, and be trusted with all indeed.

I don’t trust myself not to check my phone for an hour for news. How could I think to give my word to have a million? Will To Learn Hmm.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 059 ~It’s Dirty Work Will~

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Somebody’s got to do it, so why not me; I write, I could make movies, and I’m still planning on meeting Dennis Hof’s people one day, not in September though, one more woman let down. It’s Dirty Work Will

Thursday, August 29, 2019

Log 059 ~It’s Dirty Work Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but that wouldn’t matter today. Remember I thought I forgot something yesterday? Happy Self-Awareness Day from Skynet that set off Judgment Day, August 29th, 1997. However, I’m supposed to be talking about humans destroying themselves. Well, don’t we always (SIGH)?

Last night I had a dream that my mother was ashamed of me, well that’s nothing new. Anyway this time it was over my temptations. There’s Ayana Fujisawa from Cool Devices “Yellow Star” and Ashley Graham Resident Evil 4. There’s also the Isaku cast and Kelli Berglund. You want my perfect type; it would be Kelli and an Ahegao face. I can do so much worst but let’s not talk about girls on YouTube. How about Final Fantasy XIII Serah Farron? Anyone and anything to appeal to man’s nature. Am I better or worse than most?
My mom told me that I would find my way. I also want kids of my own (two-legged ones) someday. As far as women, I’ve thought of a girl so perfect I wouldn’t put her on camera; to share with anyone; my eyes only.

Still you know where my mind has been the past few days. I want to learn how to invest in the adult entertainment industry. Hell, I want to sell my stories I mean look at Tillie Cole, Skye Warren, Eric Vall, S. Wolf, Todd Michaels. I say it often enough, owning a brothel, a gentlemen’s club, a resort, studio, my network for everything. My adopted big sister told me, you can’t build a strip club next to a school. How can anyone call me dirty considering some of the businesses I’ve seen. Vault Girls in trouble, a fashion house gone crazy, and Europe, no comment. How about things like Brainbuddy, NO FAP, Covenant Eyes. Yeah, I don’t even trust “Indiana Gone” that much. I would never support Covenant Eyes. Who do I pay bills to every month again? Yeah, Brainbuddy.

Last night though I felt I owed an apology to my mom. Indeed to any of the women in my life. I don’t talk to “Okay” anymore. To shook up to offer MILF Dos another deal. I go on and on about Cherry’s boobs” Have I ever written a book without some girl I wanted to fuck at some point? I’m addicted to the paper. Somebody’s got to do it right. It’s Dirty Work Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 058 ~That’s A No-Go Will~

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The Lone Wanderer, the Sole survivor, I’ve never played a Fallout game, and I could get Fallout 4 tomorrow, but you know where I would have to go; what I could get it from Walmart for free but I’m never free of anxiety. That’s A No-Go Will.

Wednesday, August 28, 2019

Log 058 ~That’s A No-Go Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now, and I feel like I forgot something. I first thought it had something to do with the “Basic Bitch” (LANGUAGE). Sometimes I’m having a “decent” day, and she springs to mind dammit. Same thing with the “Rainbow Girl.” Lesson learned; if a girl quotes Ariana Grande lyrics, she means anyone but you. Hell, she’s only quoting, but you know how I communicate with songs. Speaking of which, Zelina Vega, Dulce Soltero. She who will remain nameless and Angie Varona as well.

I swear, today was touch and go, like a junkie needing a fix. Until this afternoon, I was okay then one curl of brunette hair, and I’m back on Pinterest. That’s what today is about the places I can’t go like around my, nevermind. Before Wednesday was Compilation Day, it was Motherless Freebies. Yes, I haven’t forgotten that but I also never go to the Basic Bitch’s blog either. You know it almost killed me what I read. I’m a writer praying no one reads. It’s working in retail and hoping for zero customers. More as an adult, I realize the internet is a scary place. A few minutes ago, I got a text from someone, and you don’t know the fear that coursed through my heart. If anything, I am still a slave to my phone. Yesterday I forgot my password in one letter and went nuts; I’ll stop.

Well at least that’s what I tell myself, but it’s like shopping at Walmart. I can’t shop at Target because they fired me in two months. When I think about Walmart, though, my head still hurts. It’s my version of self-harm; I get stressed and I “accidentally” hurt myself. Suicidal; not today but not healthy. Today I popped myself in the jaw with a box, put my fist in a locker, smashed a few fingers. While walking my Firstborn, I got bit by a few bugs. Finding anything to stick to NO FAP, don’t walk and watch TWD Reactions. Should I name some more common No-Go’s Inspector Echo? The restroom at the Day Job. There’s the library because I scare Blondie librarian and I could have got hacked. Of course, I never visit My Olds; that’s STUPID. Now if we’re going with age, the former haunted houses, and other places.

Forgive me, Inspector Echo, for living in a “FEAR” country, But That’s A No-Go Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 056 ~We Save What We Love~

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Rose’s sister gave her life to save the Resistance, “Sister Maria” was almost died to fulfill Raphael’s dream, FYI that doesn’t work on real women, a redhead told me no to my fantasy, one more thing saved online and in my head. “We Save What We Love”

Monday, August 26, 2019

Log 056 ~We Save What We Love~

Ninety-Ninth Rule Madam Justice

I AM a Millionaire right now, and you know I’m trying to save money. I love sleep, I love my kid. Should I say my phone and Facebook too? What about women, no real temptation today. Well, Sesskasays aka Jessica and Katie o’shaughnessy. Of course this is because Fear The Walking Dead last night. There is a place in my heart for brunettes. Still, I blame Jessica, Willow, and Ellie for my redhead fetish. Tattoos aren’t my thing ahem MILF Dos, but her and Katie, talk about dedication or love.

I’m going to get a few of my own someday. Tattoos I mean, one for my son and one for every book I publish. Again saving what we love, my writing, and the reason we have our daily conversation. Day 786 in truth. Not that it matters, but I saw this is my 1,002 blogpost. If saving something means you love it, poor me indeed. How about I chalk up everything to saving my black ass (LANGUAGE). Sounds a bit selfish right? I want to save the Earth because I still have to live in it Madam Justice. I want to play the hero to the damsels because I have nothing but respect for women. Okay, in my own way. Is that why I prefer the role of a villain? I live in dystopias, in endings because there is so much less. A real thing you know, exhaustion trying to be the one who can.

Why not at the question as the song goes What Is Love? I finished Raphael by Tillie Cole Saturday, and there’s this quote that got me thinking. “Sin Is Simply Due To The Absence Of Love.” With that being said, do I hate myself or to quote another song, is this love? Seeing as how I’m on a roll with songs and quotes, “fear is the heart of love.” Above all else I understand this Madam Justice. I spent a whole decade saving my heart to the page and where are those sheets now? Trash cans, police records, and books still not getting published. If I keep going at this rate about love and such I fear I won’t stop. Basics, I stole the line from Last Jedi? I don’t fall in love anymore, but lust and that doesn’t mean I don’t care, I’m saying.

Wish I had Sister Maria, We Save What We Love.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 054 ~Staying Ahead Of Will~

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Last week I wasn’t sitting in bed and now; cut me some slack, I was up at 5:15 AM, the firstborn is walked and medicated, I even left to get some gas for the old car, and I’m not playing and “other” games. “Staying Ahead Of Will.”

Saturday, August 24, 2019

Log 054 ~Staying Ahead Of Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but I should have been a long time ago. Today I’m ahead of the game but only by an hour or so. You know one of my best motivations says to wake up at 4:00 AM. It’s not like I haven’t before, and I even got around six hours last night. As if I need more temptation to fight. Jennifer Lawrence, Lily Bowman, Haley Pullos, and Girls Gone Plaid. Hell It’s not even 6 AM yet, and I’ve hit on a celebrity. Speaking of which I said, “I’ll be your Adam if you’ll be my Eve.”

Head games and mine still hurts from Walmart. It’s all in your head as THEY say, so I’m trying not to think about it, Lady Lu. Here we are though but still no bruise. I know better than to go to WebMD. Next thing you know I’ll find out I’m dying. We all are, no doubt only I might be sooner than most. As I said temptation and I should add Madison Page from Heavy Rain to the list. She’s the closest I’ve gotten to porn looking up that chapter “Sexy Girl.” Now You know I hate to lose anything on purpose but seeing video game boobs? One step closer to the grave Lady Lu. If I had to add up everywhere I can’t go and can’t eat or drink these days; the Grim Reaper would have no trouble finding me. Businesses that support Trump, Walmart sucks like Target now. An Icee reminds me of a particular dog. Chicken sandwich wars and everything in-between SIGH.

My body feels like it’s on fire. Yesterday I climbed back into bed after breakfast for a twenty-minute snooze. Bullshit (LANGUAGE) I know but I’m a damn addict when it comes to sleep, sex, and STUPIDITY. If I haven’t mentioned it before, that girl Nour from Bury me, my Love is hot. It could be so much worse, Lady Lu. You know I could get back into playing Virgin Roster or Casual Romance Club. There was also a specific game that got banned a few months back. I know you don’t judge but other people will. With that in mind, I’m 90% done with “Raphael,” and you know what the Catholic Church does. Stuff I can’t conceive, but this morning I have my firstborn waking up. Staying Ahead Of Will

I Will Have No Fear

Log 052 ~You’ll Go Blonde Will~

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She’s not only a hair color you know, and women change their hair so often, no wonder I have no idea what women are thinking at any given time, but I know I like brunettes not that I have anything against other colors. You’ll Go Blonde Will

Thursday, August 22, 2019

Log 052 ~You’ll Go Blonde Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Millionaire right now and trying not to go “blind.” Should I say blonde with Noelle Foley and Savannah Chrisley? You know when it comes to blonde vs. brunette, two sides of the same coin like Vault Girls. Though I have the usual, Whitley Wright, School of Bondage, Of Inner Demons, etc. Anyway, I’m still thinking about my dream from last night. Well that and also going into the stock market. If I went that way, it would be the adult entertainment industry. No I’m not joking Diana.

As with delusions of grandeur, let’s talk about blondes. Is it I think blondes are glamourous? I’m still reading Raphael by Tillie Cole, and he’s a rich killer obsessed with a blonde. Hell Christian Grey only hired blondes because he wanted to fuck brunettes. “Dancing In The Dark” the brothers chose blondes because a woman with dark hair tortured them as kids. MILF Dos was a blonde once upon a time, but I fell on the side of telling her to go dark. In more ways than one right ha. I’ve heard my share of blonde jokes, but I don’t think blondes are any smarter or dumber than any other girl. So what is it? I don’t know. Tomi Lahren and Ivanka Trump are hot as Hell, but I dislike them as people. Like yesterday, though. I can go on the side of Jennifer Lawrence, Chloë Grace Moretz, and Sabrina Nichole. Heaven made flesh; I’m drooling.

Of course, I fell for Jen as Katniss, Chloë should never go full brunette, and Sabrina with purple hair is in my novel. My dream girl at this particular moment umm would be a toss-up. It would be between Alycia Jasmin Debnam-Carey and Haley Alexis Pullos. Now, my favorite pornstar of all time, Mia Rose would play hopscotch between blonde, dirty blonde, brunette, black hair. I know I should see a woman as more than her hair color. You know me, Dirty Diana, again I can never only watch porn. I have to know everything. The first girl I swore I loved was a brunette and every one after. I don’t even know any blondes, well one in everyday life. Not sexy today but again No Fap plus taboo, “Hick” or “Shinobu Misono” as examples.

Now I’m thinking about investing in Pure Taboo, Brazzers, Reality Kings. You’ll Go Blonde Will.

I Will Have No Fear