Tag: Writing

Episode 151 ~Buttons, Zippers, Tied Will~

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Buttons, Zippers, Tentacles, oh my did I finish one more novel tonight, but I don’t pay for sex, maybe some women will… am I that confident that my book will sell? “Buttons, Zippers, Tied Will,” nope not honestly but my hands are free now.

Thursday, November 29, 2018

Episode 151 ~Buttons, Zippers, Tied Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, how much do women get to take their clothes off, whatever it is, they probably make more than their male counterparts and talk about a job I would do for free. Tonight though the only buttons that I’m taking apart are my laptop’s and with another Fifty Thousand words in the hole, I’m surprised this thing hasn’t fallen apart much like my sanity for No Nut November, a failure right?

Not NaNoWriMo though, after I mean, clearing my mind I finished the last nine hundred words and I couldn’t zip my lips from bragging about it, even now I’m thinking about all the ladies I wish would open up, the MILF, this portrait I’ve become obsessed with, a fellow writer that I know. Seriously I need some handcuffs, but I would use them for all the wrong reasons; as you know, I’m not one for leather or even rope. Fucking with clothes on or using a girl’s clothing in some exciting ways, panty gags, tied up with bras, and why I continuously attest to being a breast man, hiking up skirts and dresses, nice legs… Yeah my BDSM tendencies aren’t going anywhere, one more thing about being in control, which is why I’m a writer, I have one word for you, “Tentacles,” to this day I still remember how I discovered Hentai, Princess Ayeka *drools*

A guy can dream can’t he and isn’t that what I’m doing because who am I to say what erotica does to women… that’s something worth looking up beside other things men are always looking to press women on, publishing, in their bachelor pads, and making porn. Maybe it’s the fact that it’s getting so cold outside, you know I’m only looking forward to Winter for one reason, and yeah I won’t be pressing so many buttons late into the night, at least not these anyway. Lately, every button I’ve pressed has been something terrible, my novel, a can of bug spray, cutting on the defroster in the car because yes I drive yet one more ice cube these days.

Zippers are no good, my coat, bags of candy, and when I do have to put on my jeans I won’t be going anywhere fun, but I’m going to see what movies are playing anyway because I’ve got the time. Well, maybe not if I expect to make that million dollars and already I have to spend money on my clothes, my winner’s T-shirt, a new hoodie, nothing that makes the panties drop because, Dirty Diana, Buttons, Zippers, Tied Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 149 ~Sea Will, Cue Waterworks~

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Last week I was defending the house and this week t should be bedtime, maybe family time, and of course it’s the last week of NaNoWriMo, so yes plenty of writing and no dreams of the beach. Sea Will, Cue Waterworks

Tuesday, November 27, 2018

Episode 149 ~Sea Will, Cue Waterworks~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, because the last thing I’ll be asking you to get me is a beer and I don’t care if you drink… in moderation, if only I could do my writing as such these days. Started From The Bottom now we’re here right, from those days when I was buried in bed sheets or drowning myself with tears with one more book, and I know you wish I were here more honestly.

Sitting on the beach with my laptop watching you and the children play in the waves; a woman that dares me to be brave because of all the apocalypses I’ve written about none of them have involved the deep blue sea, and of course, you know why that is. Hopefully, you won’t find me someday, face down in a bowl of soup or Chowder, I don’t think I’ve ever had that, and again I wouldn’t ask for it. Not even so much for a glass of water but the fact that you would care to bring me one; why is it that I find love so Complicated, yeah sometimes the music helps with my writing, and sometimes you find it annoying or maybe not I’m so lucky you’re caught up.

I remember when talking to you worked up a sweat and not only a deadline; I suppose one day I’ll have some other than the ones I impose on myself, “B III” wondering when’s dinner time, the two-legged kids wanting playtime, and the things you’re up too. When it’s not my novels that have me feeling some weird way, it’s the thought that again I want to stay on this beach, to have enough to afford a yacht, and I enjoy fishing, what about a wine cellar, I barely drink the stuff but being a wealthy writer… It means pouring my blood, sweat, and tears into this but I want to be the man that’s getting you chicken soup when you’re ill, sitting with you asking why Starbucks exist, to toast cold nights with hot cocoa with plenty of marshmallows and some whip cream too.

For now though, it’s an energy shot and you baby girl, are you mad, should I be afraid, and if I were to be a typical man, yes I will work on the bathtub at some point because it’s reminding me of InTown Suites bathrooms… or the day job *shudders*. Now I’m not sure if I honestly do need a drink, chocolate, something dripping in cheese or butter, maybe smothered in gravy, until that day you convince me somehow on our vacation to go Under The Sea Will, Cue Waterworks.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 146 ~Win, Will It Count~

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We’re counting on you, nope no one has ever said that to me or placed a price on my head but all these numbers swimming around in my head, remind me of doing Inventory at the day job and when will I stop looking at these digits. “Win, Will It Count.”

Saturday, November 24, 2018

Episode 146 ~Win, Will It Count~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, maybe when I stop counting the hours I work and ignoring those I sleep, how about doing something other than the bare minimum for my writing; when will I start adding up the victories instead of hoping for that one day. If anything I’ve Seen Better Days, this morning I was set to declare victory in the bug war, but the battle rages on, “B III” is mad about his medication for some hours and don’t even get me started about No Nut November Lady Lu.

If anything the only number that truly matters nowadays is my NaNoWriMo score, and again I’m not going to count that as a victory as of yet considering everything else that’s crashed and burned. Take my day job for example, how many days have I slid in under the wire because of a lack of sleep, the temperature, and whatever scientific products they put in all those sprays to melt ice. Should we talk about the money situation, I swear, I am doing more math than any class, but of course I have no right to complain, other than planning on a shower, why is that not happening friend, again?

Last night, definitely goes on the top ten of worse nights ever, from being in a knot about one bitch, almost getting fired, and how many sleeping pills did I take one night only to survive up until now. How many Youtube videos have I watched in the name of motivation, when’s the last time I heard from “Indiana Gone” or “Okay” and when will I go back to eating some solid meals. I don’t know what to tell you Lady Lu; it’s almost as if the price to breathe had gone up, three breaths when it was only one, a cadre of ants, when we were once looking at two, getting up at 1:55 AM because my kid threw his schedule out of whack.

An unfortunate choice of words because I haven’t gone twenty-four hours, I need something, and I wish I could say my story was that sexy or I was reading something as such but no, and hell it’s not even like I need the clarity. What can I count on that doesn’t make me miserable I ask, possibly counting my son’s breaths when we’re not fighting about his meds, that’s one, NaNoWriMo… Win, Will It Count?

“Because it doesn’t matter if you’re a good or bad person on the inside. The numbers don’t care.” Judith Grimes

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 144 ~Get No Satisfaction, Will~

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I can get plenty of food, especially today and I am grateful, my little boy and I aren’t fighting, and the little pests have all found destruction, still a speck here or there but my anxiety & desire… my sweet buttery Jesus. Get No Satisfaction Will

Thursday, November 22, 2018

Episode 144 ~Get No Satisfaction, Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, don’t pay for what’s in the middle, no you never pay for the pussy, hearts should never know brokenness, barter, or a price, you don’t look to afford what goes between her lips, comes out of them, or anything to break the silence. Well I didn’t make a million, but I did save with Thanksgiving dinner arriving today, that’s probably something better to be thankful for honestly, my belly is full, my dog is comfortable, and while my motivations say that my comfort zone is my enemy, I’m Feeling Good.

So why aren’t I satisfied, why do I not seek out satisfaction besides Rule 009 “Satisfaction, The Death Of Desire” by the time I have everything I could want I might as well be dead, but I wake up to the teasing every single morning. You remember how I said that when I return to the house, I have fifteen minutes to decompress, to make it as though the day didn’t happen after that I don’t I have to live with anything. Depending on how that goes I either feel an overwhelming sense of shame or clarity of mind, both I find right after a Fapping session, and that is not anything to pure satisfaction.

Not like for “Pay Two Plague” you do remember my NaNoWriMo novel, oh how I would find teasing for writing it but my characters are straight to the point, over 129 ways to satisfy themselves… I am a greedy S.O.B. aren’t I? Even writing and yes this is more Lady Sophia’s thing, but there’s foreplay, I blah the actual sex, and then the aftermath is usually quite the bombshell. I swear I am not good at a one-night stand as the song goes or maybe I don’t believe there is one girl out there that could see all of me and eye all of her through the Eyes of Grace.

Hello and Goodbye, Before and After, it’s the middle that always gets me, the present, one more reason I might dream of the end of the world because when there is nowhere left to go then, I don’t have to ask her to Stay With Me. Like father like son, “B III” isn’t getting any either so what can I tell him, I’m Stuck In The Middle With You right, but a guy can still dream of a great many wants, but at the end of the day admittedly I Can’t Get No Satisfaction, Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 139 ~Willing Parody Of Life~

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I think I know enough about life to fake it, go to work, kill the pests (ants), and there is a bed to sleep in and a roof over my head, and that’s all there is but wait there’s more because what I have seen so far… “Willing Parody Of Life.”

Saturday, November 17, 2018

Episode 139 ~Willing Parody Of Life~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, give life or take it, and no My Lady I’m not crazy though if I can be candid with you Luna, these days the thought of my life has only begun depressing me further. Today *sigh* It Was A Good Day, now nowhere near as good as it was supposed to be… Five Thousand words, remember that but I think I’ve written most of a “wonderful” solid chapter for my novel.

I was dead asleep for most of the day which might explain why physically I feel so wide awake, that and being a spokesman for 5-hour ENERGY, not for real but a shot a day gives me the words to say. Speaking of shots, that would have been faster I believe, a military man especially a commander should keep a journal I heard once, as far as the war against the ant population, it goes well, two ant baits and I now have a pest mass genocide. One more day off and then there’s hell to pay, as in Black Friday, how I wish I could summon up my rage against the General Manager, why not the general population, I’m not picky, only picked on.

The question tonight is, why am I the biggest bully of them all, don’t get me wrong, my day job is doing awesome destroying me, you would think I would take this more seriously, writing but still I remain. People talk about these weeks as a season of miracles, I only want one, and that’s to finish my novel on time and with everything that is about to happen… Well, one more good thing, my Mother is cooking which means “B III” and I should eat well if we make it until Thursday but then again, don’t I get paid Friday and if I had my way I wouldn’t go out on either of those days so yeah yay Mom.

Maybe that’s it; I’m a bully that’s been knocked down but beating myself up is so damn easy that yeah everyone does it, and I still want to lend a hand because that’s what I do, hurt myself to benefit others. I heard this ad that says Christmas reminds us of how good we can be, “Triple B” is alive I’m right, I haven’t tried to kill myself in ages, that works, I might have reclaimed some of this house, okay then but what’s not, this Willing Parody Of Life.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 137 ~An Eye Of Will~

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Eyeing my next line, whether it be my finances, the ant invasion, or that sliver of sleep I get before all of a sudden it’s morning again but for now thank goodness the only girls I’m seeing are in my novel. “An Eye Of Will.”

Thursday, November 15, 2018

Episode 137 ~An Eye Of Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, don’t blow all your money on the holidays, Halloween’s long gone and Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Christmas, hell I know enough not to waste money buying porn… well, I know that now. Still I wrote witches into my story, and currently, I’m incorporating Alycia Debnam-Carey, Lexi Ainsworth, and Haley Pullos into my novel, apologies ladies, I have a thing for brunettes and Brown Eyed Girl, (I’m aware Alycia has green eyes.)

 

I need something beautiful to look at, well someone, yes the words of my current title are plenty ugly, but I have seen far worse this past couple of days, the death of a great artist R.I.P. Stan Lee, too few hours of sleep, and I swear if I see one more line of ants. Don’t think I’m going to be in the black this year even if I finish my “Harem Erotica” I’m sure I’ve told someone that on more than one occasion, these days are blurring together, but there’s always “Just Another” girl in the morning. Not that “B III” is giving up his spot in the bed anytime soon and I’m sure his dearest human is bugging the hell out of him.

Sex is something that keeps my eyes wide open, but I suppose you have witnessed these past few weeks that all I want to do is close them, let’s meet in the middle and say Eyes Wide Shut” in a way. All my dirty talk which is pretty moronic despite the plethora of Erotica I read I store for “Pay Two Plague” which very few people have had a “positive” opinion of, I swear if Trump can say “grab ’em by the pussy” how horrible am I? I suppose you could ask The MILF, Eileen Kelly, and Angie Varona, more apologies ladies, if only my fantasies outnumber my problems tonight.

I did finish writing sooner than expected but 5-hour ENERGY plus an Adrenaline rush, so many legs and I want to put them all to bed, but “D-Spray” isn’t something you can pick up from the store. Neither are girls like this, I swear Dirty Diana, we’ve gone from brunettes to girls with black hair and now Sabrina Nichole, no I’m not drunk but probably all kinds of high on fucking fumes… had to justify that warning somehow, to keep going An Eye Of Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 130 ~Take My Will Away~

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As badly as you want air, that’s one of my concerns, I’m always looking for a reason not to breathe, because sometimes that is the hardest thing to do; I want to give life to some many so no wonder I feel like I’m in outer space. “Take My Will Away.”

Thursday, November 8, 2018

Episode 130 ~Take My Will Away~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, and “when” I do remind me not to blow it all on escorts, sex toys, porno, and erotica literature; money is one of many things that I need to keep my pants, but of course I blew it yesterday. You will have to excuse me if I do not feel that sexy besides fucking up “No Nut November” my son is sick but in recovery mode and is there anything sexier than the angels in my stories and not coming after four paws of fury.

My novel wasn’t exactly blowing me away last night, to be honest, but what happens, happens and somehow or another I’m going to have to capture a second wind, get ready for round two and even now I’m still up in more ways than one. The good thing about not talking so much is the fact that I’m not wasting air, hell Dirty Diana, a dominant’s rule is supposed to be absolute, thus providing more atmosphere for his submissive to perform her tasks and of course scream. Here’s another idea, why is it that the most beautiful things are meant to take your breath away, to give life to them, a feeling of paradise, and let’s say love isn’t exactly known to make people smarter, gibberish writing am I right?

Somehow those people can locate some part of Heaven, something much more significant than themselves and again gives life to those that take their breath away for a moment in time. I already told you before, I’m not feeling sexy time, but I’m writing as always to provide a future, my son needs that, he took my breath away the day he came to be in my world. Has any woman done that lately, for a release here or there my breath has caught in my throat; my son loves life, and he was trying to find fresh air, scary.

I need to give breath to so many things, but it’s getting harder to catch at least one for myself, and maybe that’s because like in American Beauty, there’s so much beauty in the world or stupidity, thinking with the little head instead of the big one. The little one has been getting far too much these last two days, giving into such lusts when what I love is threatened; love Take My Will Away.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 127 ~They Don’t Understand Your Shit~

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Nobody has to understand you to be successful; hell people can know everything you say is a lie, and you can still be president, but I’m only a writer, with his real fantasies and fictional stories but will they know? They Don’t Understand Your Shit.

Monday, November 5, 2018

Episode 127 ~They Don’t Understand Your Shit~

Fifty-Seven Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars, a part of me wants to say, be Donald Trump but we understand his shit, he’s an asshole, now I could talk about his followers but more to the point I think about “Braco,” “E.L. James,” or The Walking Dead Fandom. I know that alone comes off as confusing, but that’s everything when it comes to me, thus the rule because nobody understands and in truth, I hope they never figure it out because if they ever do that…

For example, today is the hell if I know “anniversary” of almost getting fired from the day job and why… skeevy, pervert, stalker perhaps, take your pick, just like I do, I was afraid, I’m a traditionalist, and I consider myself better with words on paper ha. How about the fact that nobody seems to understands me at work when I attempt to speak because my voice comes off so small, and don’t even get me started on how many times I’m referred to as “Ma’am” when I’m picking up food. What about my novel, don’t I mention NaNoWriMo daily but anyway, my protagonist and antagonist are “sleeping with” two girls, before that they were having fun with three more.

The good news is if by descriptions you can recognize them you’re probably very “wrong” like me, but honestly games like “Virgin Roster” don’t get made themselves, somebody greenlit the game “Rapelay,” certain costumes get made, and photo shoots get done. Some people like football, others The Walking Dead, athletes die sometimes, and people cheer for teams as if they’ve done something, but I’m wrong for worrying about Walkers or liking The Purge. “Indiana Gone,” told me that the key is communication but even if wasn’t for “The Tower of Babel” (I don’t get religious people honestly) understanding especially in these days is not valued.

I keep telling myself that even if I don’t get my novel I must be saying something but to me, it’s only a list of sexual fantasies in an apocalyptic universe which allows for my darkness; for maybe a day I thought I was into Teratophilia… perhaps a little. What about wants, wishes, woolgather, my writing, I can’t tell the day job all of that is why I would rather not lose week after week to take care of their shit, honestly Madam Justice I don’t understand and they can’t, They Don’t Understand Your Shit.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 120 ~Don’t Make Their Lies True~

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I don’t bother to introduce myself; I won’t even say hello because if the conversation goes further than that, do you care how I am, should I care how you are, sooner or later you’ll lie to yourself about me. Don’t Make Their Lies True

Monday, October 22, 2018

Episode 120 ~Don’t Make Their Lies True~

Fifty-Sixth Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars, the first bit of change but why should I, you know it’s never me wanting to fit in, it’s what’s left inside me, and then I don’t recognize who I am anymore, yet one more reason I avoid mirrors.

Last week I talked about writing a decent sentence but how many people have seen that coming from me, no instead I believed the first lie from my “father” and that was “stupid” everything about me. Madam Justice I don’t want to be a downer today but isn’t ironic that with lies you can be president but the truth can put you in prison regardless of guilt or innocence, I heard again I was stupid in my “home,” and thus I became it. So I’ve spent my life wanting to be everything but, I read every day, I attempted to join Mensa, hell I don’t know how many books I’ve written, but I struggle with such small tasks making my father and everyone else smarter.

In the flesh, I am ugly, and like the Phantom, Quasimodo, or Cyrano de Bergerac, I began to wear masks, I hide upstairs; my downstairs barely has furnishings, and I don’t bother to fix the doorbell; how about the fact that I hide behind words? I don’t check mirrors because there is no point, I wear hoodies and dark colors, I keep earphones on always, the music a feeble attempt to drown out the lie that is becoming the truth.

Of course, I can’t neglect this, let’s say half-truth that got me here talking to you… how many times will I return to this; I was acting skeevy and creepy to a girl, fair enough, I started talking to Lady Lu and next thing you know I’m a stalker. Now if comparing a girl to Brazzers or Reality Kings is one thing, I get the same damn reaction if I write something sweet, of course, when “gentlemen” pay me for my words, they get girls panties to drop quick. Even now you might say I sound bitter, to one girl I’m too sweet, to another I attempt to nail her whenever she comes by, but my point is I don’t know my truth as I’m in many lies and falsehoods.

With that on repeat having never known myself since the cradle, believing and knowing I was worthless, nothing, and stupid and having the world echo that well… it started with one man and a bitch here or there; it can end with one man, me, that’s if I figure out who I am one day, Don’t Make Their Lies True.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 113 ~Always Write The Truest Sentence~

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As the song goes, every day I write the book or NOT, I found out it’s too late to submit a short story for competition but still, it’s not only a goal to write, it’s my purpose if that is the truth. “Always Write The Truest Sentence.”

Monday, October 22, 2018

Episode 113 ~Always Write The Truest Sentence~

Fifty-Fifth Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars, is there a fairer sentence these days, the first words of a short story I still plan on writing, all those missed sentences I didn’t read at work as I signed my name, how about the death sentence I hope has known conclusion, somebody getting fired. The truth of the matter is that first sentence; if it doesn’t do what is needed then the last sentence doesn’t matter now does it, and when it comes to you and the others, the concept of making a million dollars is it.

It sounds a lot better than, I’m getting in her pants this way or that way; already I’m beginning to look like a hypocrite, but damn do you know everything that a million dollars could get done simply. When I was a child, it used to be what two-hundred dollars could do, and like my money my sentences have grown as well and again like my finances, this is not always a good thing. My money and my writing have to speak for me because more often than not when I talk out loud, it’s not the real me and you know I despise liars but take this as true; if anything I’m an artist.

“Artists use lies to tell the truth. Yes, I created a lie. But because you believed it, you found something true about yourself.” ― Alan Moore, V for Vendetta (Goodreads)

I can’t say I rightly know what people find out about themselves when they read my writing but for the majority, when I speak I find out they are shit human beings, of course, there are exceptions “Indiana Gone,” “Okay,” yeah I can’t even name a few I can be myself around. So am I Will, when I’m writing… now that would be terrifying, a guy that would rather be with machines than people, a sadistic photographer who does everything to his victims, a vengeful cult-leader? Who do I want to be tomorrow, hell who do I want to be from minute to minute, this is more a question for Lady Sophia, but I’m not going to get to my short story today am I.

Love The Way You Run, working title of course but now I’m stuck on writing the first sentence, but it’s more like the story I tell myself when I first leave work, what did the general manager say “read between the lines.” First there have to be lines, and then there are words and somewhere in all of that junk lies me and if only someone would care to look but the fact that I’m not writing means *sigh* I don’t want to be found; is that the truth or a lie dear Madam Justice, Always Write The Truest Sentence.

I Will Have No Fear