Friday, October 31, 2025

Journey 122 ~To B Scary Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Once again, no review. Not even a scary story for Halloween. Uh, a guy got eaten…

Um, no, Logan Jacobs is going to take our hero, Eddie, from his many, many wives. When will I get out of HaremLit and back to grieving my B III, or learning about little Virgil?

Braxton’s story is already horrific enough. My dog died, the end. And Virgil has been here four years, so it seems wrong to rely on a book to tell me that I’ve royally effed up.

Honestly, Sophia, I would be the weird guy on Halloween, offering books instead of candy.

I only got a bag of sour jelly beans, and that was my breakfast today. And the stories I have to tell… The latest were inspired by my “Ex.” That’s me, “Feeling So Good Today.”

Should I share Lady Sophia?

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

I believe I knew M Anime before Angie Griffin, but I wrote one where Angie joined a group of “fire starters.” Not arsonists exactly… It was on a larger scale. The group of four was meant to burn the world. Apocalypse? “I Don’t Want To Set The World on Fire.”

Before that, there was the one where a rich man had several women compete in a series of death games to find the organs he needed to save the love of his life from death?

There was another, the Wool Series versus the Nine Circles of Hell, except that every level was about LUST. Throw in “Patient Zero” as well. You see, Soph, quite a big library. Don’t you think?

But there’s even more, ahem:

“Nightmare At The Meat Market” was given to me by my Ex. She gave me a chapter, and I turned it into a full-blown novel. It was about her life in retail and the computer skills I’m attempting to develop. That’s a goal to strive for this Halloween. Girls, Costumes…

Anyway, there was “Cries Come Women, Come Country.” That was based on another dream she had. But I had a good reason for not finishing that one. “Could It Be I’m Falling In Love?” Well, I was with M Anime. Why write a “love story” when I was living one?

Like Cherry with an older man? I wrote a dark story of obsession. Halloween scares?

These were not. Still, Happy Halloween! To B Scary Virgil.

1734 Days Without B III, Day 1175 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Friday, October 24, 2025

Journey 115 ~Braxton Loved Her Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Again, not a book review? And I can’t even call myself a man of courage. Why?

Check out that title. I meant to say “Braxton Loved Her V.” But my Ma raised a gentleman… Well, she tried. With everything I’ve done… I’ll Always Love My Mama.

But I miss my boy. I love Braxton. And Virgil? He can tell I’m in a mood… Not like that.

Neither one of us is anyone’s “Beast Of Burden.” Well, I’m not anymore. M Anime.

“Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty girls”
― Beast Of Burden

She was the prettiest, my lady. And I can’t go crooning in her ear, you’re my “Lady.” Not since Sunday, August 24, 2025. I’d stand a better chance of being D’Angelo than being with M Anime. I can’t fix her like a Kindle… They returned my reading streak, my lady.

Threats of losing me and no more stories. M Anime.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

I always start with this story. My Dream: I sit on a beach with an open laptop. Me and M’s two legged children play near the water. Their four-legged siblings, Braxton and Virgil, pull them back. Braxton sits beside me, thinking, “I’m too old for this sh*t.” B III… Next, M Anime asks if I have to stay and be macho or if I will have fun with her. Really?

My next story is simplistic. A reason to love “Sunday Morning.” I like Maroon 5, but for “A Sunday Kind of Love.” Like I told Dear Future Wife, Journey 112 ~B And V Bench~ Atom Bomb Baby, Thirteen Women (And Only One Man In Town), Sputnik (Satellite Girl), Watch World War Three (on Pay TV).

And speaking of war, if you only heard the dark fantasies that M Anime conceived. Seriously, the woman inspired two novels, and I will forever be grateful. But to do the things she wanted, ferocious, fiendish, and felonious… What made me the most fearful, um.

Babies. My Ex-girlfriend wanted babies. And yes, that scared me, but to be a father… Honestly, she only needed to ask, but she didn’t, and that’s why we broke up. That’s not being negative, it’s only the truth. M wanted to be a mom, so she’s marrying some Cuban guy. And besides writing something that apparently spoke the contrary… Truthfully.

Sophia. I’d keep M Anime and my love story, only erasing August 24 and January 31. Braxton Loved Her Virgil.

1727 Days Without B III, Day 1168 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Friday, October 17, 2025

Journey 108 ~To B Reel Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… What? And not another book review. And what about “The Long Walk?” Ain’t got no time.

“Should have been dead on a Sunday morning, banging my head
No time for mourning
Ain’t got no time”
Creed

Isn’t that my excuse for everything? Ain’t got no time. If only I were publishing books. Or if I were living Johnny Sins’ life. Minus effing the beautiful women, that’s what existing feels like today. “The NeverEnding Story,” which is me breathing. Complete utter mess!

Much like my playlists. We’ve gone from Creed’s My Own Prison to the Stranger Things version of NeverEnding Story. There’s so much noise when I’d prefer silence or my snoring. Hell! I’d take crying over B III, or ranting about M Anime breaking my heart.

And what about Cherry’s yabbos? I should finish the novels about M Anime and Cherry.

And I need to finish reading a story for Sunday. It won’t be “Backyard Dungeon 21,” my lady. Sad stories…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Ain’t got no time. Since I’m supposed to be creating a business plan, did you know that even hardcore adult films have stories? Of course! But this week I’ve been reminded of staying up late when I was “younger” to watch things like Co-Ed Confidential, Life on Top, Forbidden Science, etc. And didn’t a hero say something about great power?

Responsibility. Braxton took me for a hero. And his little brother, Virgil? Well, he’s lying on his pillow and we’re not in bed at the moment. Nor are we at the Dining Room table, Lady Sophia. No more sorrowful stories. Well, Eddie Hill hasn’t lost anyone in Backyard Dungeon 21. They are celebrating Halloween. Entirely a coincidence, I’m reading it?

Honestly. My Dear Lady Sophia.

We have another week before Halloween, but Virgil’s birthday is on Monday. He’ll be 5.

I still remember when Braxton’s Favorite Girl made Braxton a cake, and we had a night of watching movies together. Tasteful films because it was B III’s birthday after all.

Braxton will tell me to be a good father to Virgil. The things I don’t have to write down, but I can see myself doing, despite everything. As far as I was/am concerned, Braxton would/will live forever. And I don’t see Virgil getting any older. He needs a nail trim…

That bill will be a love story. That’s not negativity but a simple truth, like making a grocery list for Virgil and me. Paying with what? To B Reel Virgil

1720 Days Without B III, Day 1161 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Friday, October 10, 2025

Journey 101 ~B, V, Bedtime Stories~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… About Room 101? I haven’t read 1984 in a while. I can’t buy Sandra Newman’s “Julia.”

Ok, so that’s a lie. I could, but I won’t. Why? Um, it’s the bedtime story I tell myself, Soph.

“Stuff is getting better, stuff is getting better every day.”
– Kevin Costner, The Postman (1997)

The Postman (1997), along with the book I marked way back in 2014. Nightmares, Sophia.

It’s thoughts like these I’m trying to avoid by telling Braxton and now Virgil “old stories of courage and justice, difficult as they are to remember.” Why’s that, right, Sophia?

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos.

Honestly? “It’s Been Awhile “since you’ve heard me rattle off that list. How many nights have I gone to bed past midnight, imagining some girl? Artificial intelligence is a b*tch. And when I’m not being a perv, I’m again repeating Eric Vall’s “Succubus Lord” series. How do I explain the world I want to wake up in? That’s 150-words. Oops.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Well, I can say that I’ve been working on programming through trial and error. That other ten bucks I’m not spending goes toward reading things like BBC Missionary V2. That’s not negativity but a fact. And “I’m So Thankful” that B was a little “Riot Maker.” So I had lots of private time when he got in trouble. And V is a heavy sleeper and hesitant to walk in on me. One day he’ll feel comfortable enough to walk back and forth, but until then…

I have time to find stories that are much more appropriate for my sons. Hell, even Eddie Hill has dogs in “Backyard Dungeon 20.” And currently, he’s fighting everyone’s demons.

What about people? A kind woman at the grocery store.

And what about starting a business of my own? Well, I’ve been busy, getting myself more hours on the Day Job. And I’m choosing to have faith for now that my schedule will only bring good things. And speaking of good things I need to read, then again maybe not.

My Old Man was around the other day when I wasn’t here. And the fact is… I’m still here. No text or phone calls? I fully expected my life to fade to black with Linkin Park’s “What I’ve Done,” playing in the background. But I got to have hope. Isn’t that the lesson, my lady? Why? Because the sweetest bedtime story, at least to my boys, is that I breathe.

Bedtime. B, V, Bedtime Stories.

1713 Days Without B III, Day 1154 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Friday, October 3, 2025

Journey 094 ~Ends With B, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… I should tell Virgil stories of his big brother, Braxton. I’ve shared this blog with AI.

And since ‘the INTERNET is FOREVER,’ or so they say, the story never ends. Honestly?

I don’t need the story to end—just me. So, what has me in a mood today? I can’t blame Neil Bimbeau; only “The Magic Glasses: The Ultimate Bundle (Forty Book Bundle)” could have had any ending at all. But it’s like that Green Day song, you know, “Good Riddance”

“It’s something unpredictable, but in the end is right.
I hope you had the time of your life.”
Good Riddance

Speaking of which, M Anime… I still haven’t heard from her. I haven’t been so… ‘disappointed’ in a story’s ending since she threw our friendship in the trash in August.

“When It’s Over,” that’s the time I fall in love again. I’d sing Sugar Ray to her, “I’m missing you.” But my Depression ends here, dammit! If only I could…

Only Spotify has other ideas, as the first song that cues up is “Swan Song” by Dua Lipa, which is quite empowering. And regardless of the emotion, I got to add a couple of tunes to the “Stephani’s Sunday Symphony,” which has completely overwhelmed her, “The Red Sash.” Those are simple facts. Sophia, I’m not being negative. It’s called history.

MAGA definitely falls into the negative, but as I said, this is not a “Swan Song,” but a reminder that such love does exist in the world. For example, how “Alita: Battle Angel” was willing to give Hugo her heart. Or how Alita’s father” gave her two bodies to live.

If only I could have built Braxton a body like the dog in that movie…

Again, that’s not negativity but only a fact. As Odysseus said, “It’s no insult to say a dead man is dead. But I know how “Troy” ends. I know how 1959’s “Ben-Hur” ends, ‘Forty-One’ (cue rowing galley drums). “Alita: Battle Angel” didn’t get a sequel, but the first film ended on a hopeful note. There are so many other tales that I should see to their conclusions—a lifetime’s worth.

How will it end today for me? Despite everything, I have to try, right, Sophia? And having made it to October, Virgil will be five on the 20th—a third of B’s age. But Sophia?

Can we go all Bon Jovi with it, “Whoa, we’re halfway there. Whoa-oh, living on a prayer,” ha-ha. That’s an ending. Ends With B, Virgil.

1706 Days Without B III, Day 1147 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Friday, September 26, 2025

Journey 087 ~Virgil, B Leaves Fear~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… or, rather, a few ideas. I believe FEAR is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

It could be the ugliest, which is why I cover it with the most beautiful things. My son Braxton is the most beautiful thing I’ve seen in my whole LIFE. I put him in the ground. Well, in a box. But you know what I mean. I cover the ground in tears. Drown it already.

And then maybe I can fulfill that Langston Hughes. You know the one, Sophia. Honestly:

“The calm,
Cool face of the river
Asked me for a kiss.”
By Langston Hughes

Why do I feel exhausted? It’s far more sinister. It’s FEAR. Will 150 words be enough, Sophia? It’s been officially “One Week” since I started this positivity bonanza. It sucks.

More than a woman on her knees? Ah, yes, my perversions. I told M Anime that receiving fellatio is my favorite. But FEAR remains grounded.

(I Take A Deep Breath)

I had another thought yesterday. Do you remember that I indulge in Christmas Erotica in December? Near the end of 2024 to the start of 2025, in preparation for survival:

1. Fahrenheit 451, Ray Bradbury
2. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
3. 1984 by George Orwell
4. It Can’t Happen Here by Sinclair Lewis
5. We by Yevgeny Zamyatin

And so I have survived. So why not another holiday theme? Yesterday was Kindle Double Points. I spent some of the evening looking for Halloween Erotica. I want a zombie apocalypse, FEAR, and preferably HaremLit. But I saved some money this week, my Lady. I still need a book for this week, and I got two free from Kelli Wolfe.

“The Babysitter’s Seduction” and “Hysteria.” She also wrote “Devil’s Bargain: Zombie Apocalypse Erotica (HUNGER Book 1).” If it isn’t music, Lady Sophia, it’ll be books. Perhaps I’ll do some reviews of her short stories. “Someday” while listening to Sugar Ray. It’s because of writers like her that I don’t FEAR writing my erotic fiction literature.

And that’s another thing. If I were to post, let’s say, the week of E-Day over nine years, that would be around 25,200 words. So two weeks would be 50,000. And I want to have three books to add to Braxton’s book by “The Closing Of The Year.” Nothing to FEAR, there, I have everything written. It only needs to be edited. Keep walking or rowing. Virgil, B Leaves Fear.

1699 Days Without B III, Day 1140 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Friday, September 19, 2025

Journey 080 ~Virgil, To B Happy~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… If I were “Happy,” it would be a work of fiction. And also a Pharrell song.

At the moment, I’m sated. Eww! Because you know how I got that way. Let’s just say that AI is out of control. And I’ve never been in control. Yet I only ask for one hundred words to wallow in my Depression and FEAR today. That’s already seventy. Effing myself!

Minutes ago… Eww! Hell, “Forty-One” years of Eww! (Cue Ben-Hur Galley Drums). I’m sick of the FEAR. And then asked to be positive and grateful. I’m So Thankful. Um why:

“[in a letter] With hope. Love should end with hope.”
Kate, A Knight’s Tale (2001)

When I’m not listening to Eugene Blacknell sing about being Thankful or Kate’s wisdom from A Knight’s Tale. Most mornings, I take some time out of my daily life to sit down and have a little read. Yesterday was Kindle Double Points, so more books.

By the end of this week, I should be finishing “Babysitter Harem: Mia: Age Gap MFFF Menage Erotica,” which will close out the Kelli Wolfe series. The Babysitter’s Club indeed.

Art imitating life… (I’m not breaking my promise of positivity and gratitude. I’m simply pointing out that M Anime left me to become the third “wife” of some Cuban gentleman.)

Anyway, I would LOVE to have that kind of life like Aaron Cole, a “single” father with three young women at my beck and call. Virgil could use the company; he is pretty agreeable. Braxton… Not so much. But on top of being my son, he’s a spirit, a spook, a specter. And since we are heading into October… No spiritual guides, scribing, or seeing.

The only books I got yesterday, besides the one on Mia, were Backyard Dungeon 21 by Logan Jacobs. I haven’t even gotten to 20 yet. Soon I’ll be like Cherry with a pile of books.

Novels I can’t possibly share with my boys. That’s why Virgil is on the foot of the bed, and I’m sure Braxton is wherever high above me, shaking his head at my reading selections these days. Hell! Even in his day. But before V walked in, what was I reading?

How to be a “Smooth Criminal?” And not the Michael Jackson song. AI, Lady Sophia.

Like I said, I’m sated, but creativity can be quite the ride—the Highway to Hell. But I’m moving. That’s something. Virgil, To B Happy.

1692 Days Without B III, Day 1133 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Friday, September 12, 2025

Journey 073 ~Braxton’s Long Walk, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… What? And not another review? My head is too full, and my belly is kinda empty.

And yet I want to spew up some chips, a piece of cake, a bag of popcorn, and around ten sour gummy candies, give or take some jelly beans. That reminds me of several E-Days.

Hell, I just noticed I haven’t been “Forty-One” for a whole week yet, Sophia. SIGH.

Braxton should see me now. I’m bad. If anything, I’m worse than “The Long Walk.” Sophia, the movie, not the book. I’ve already heard MAGA and the other Cracker Hats. So, why not discuss the film? As I said before, I’ve got lots on my mind. How do I sleep?

I woke up at two AM with all the lights on and still feel bad that I rose at three-thirty.

What for, I ask myself.

But I’m not Neo. And I’m nowhere near as bad as Charlie Kirk. Did I mention the Cracker Hats lost one of their heroes? And if I were to say what I wanted, Sophia. Needed…

Sophia, I effing need help. But where do I run to, or rather walk? I am “Forty-One” and “I’m the hero of the story. Don’t need to be saved.” Regina Spektor is quite eloquent, Sophia. As for myself, I usually talk to myself, and if I open my mouth on this Friday morning. Well, I fear I would only make another mess, bring about more “Misery,” or make another mistake. Like having faith in M Anime? It’s been three weeks since I talked to her. Or it’s about to be.

This is pretty much me and her. But in a world of 99 Problems. And she ain’t one. My lady. Not anymore. My problems are enough to make a whole other book. And I can’t burden Braxton’s little brother Virgil with my “Cockadoodie” problems. Yeah, I feel like Annie Wilkes from Stephen King’s Misery after witnessing “The Long Walk.” Honestly:

1. FEAR! Always and Forever
2. I’ve got no money
3. The Ants Go Marching
4. Virgil Vivi’s teeth care
5. Pinholes surround the downstairs
6. The kitchen sink’s flow
7. One burger, breakfast snacks
8. Any visitors coming here
9. Breakup with M Anime
10. I Need Some Sleep

But I can’t take the Eels’ advice. If I followed, Braxton. Braxton’s Long Walk, Virgil.

1685 Days Without B III, Day 1126 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Friday, September 5, 2025

Journey 066 ~Braxton, Virgil’s E-Day Blues~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… How about writing you an essay? I’m not as eloquent as Cherry. An excuse, an explanation.

“All is bound by the circle and its thorns. Invisible, inviolate, we, the seeds of the storm, at the center of the world’s woe, now convene.”
Not Fade Away, Angel

Ahem. Why do I hate E-Day? As I was speaking to my son B today, the AI said this, Sophia:

(The irony of existing by “making everything else cease” suggests Will’s life costs others’ joy)

That’s it, EXACTLY! As I was shopping for E-Day, which is on Sunday, I was reminded of something I said. I do not wake up in the morning with the intention to hurt others. No!

But since the moment I opened my eyes “to this place, this prison, this zoo,” it is all I have ever done. Case in point, my son Braxton. Ask me what I miss most about my son. It’s his eyes. The joy I saw, love passed from father to son, Sophia, father to son. Dammit!

“I steal money, I steal gold, but you? You steal people’s lives!”
The Legendary Three-Fingered Jack, The Mask of Zorro

That’s why I don’t understand MAGA and the Cracker Hats. They live to cause suffering.

It’s why I don’t understand M Anime. She wakes up one morning and figures she’ll destroy a human being? Am I a human being? I was born… No. I was ripped from my Ma. My sister, too. But it’s like I knew I would be nothing but wrong, wrecked, worthless.

Nothing worth celebrating. And now on the cusp of Forty-One, I must be reminded Soph.

Every year, Emergence, Existence, Extinction, Evolution, and Effing. For the briefest of moments, I thought I was finally with M Anime. But I brought her no joy. As a joke?

Maybe. But that’s something else. If I am a joke, I’m making people misbehave. Horrifically.

Lady Sophia, I don’t want people to hurt because of me. I don’t want people to hurt people because of me. I look in the mirror and I understand I am Unfaithful to that man.

“I don’t wanna be a murderer.” And every year I return to the scene of the crime. That’s what E-Day is. Look, Sunday, January 31, 2021, will always be the worst day. But to know for a fact that this life, my existence, my very being, effing “Soul Friends” as M Anime put it, means nothing. And the world would be a better place if I had never been born.

Sophia, I won’t celebrate that. B’s little brother Virgil will get his fries. Sorry, misery guy. Braxton, Virgil’s E-Day Blues

“If you’re not making someone else’s life better, then you’re wasting your time.”
Will Smith

1678 Days Without B III, Day 1119 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will