Log 298 ~Will To Be Believed~

“Trust me,” “believe me,” the people that usually start with that are generally lying, which is why I never ask you to. Most days, I’m like Tidus from Final Fantasy X, only wanting somebody to listen but SIGH. Will To Be Believed.

Friday, April 24, 2020

Log 298 ~Will To Be Believed~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I say that every day but do I believe it? Lady Sophia, I should get back into listening to my Motivations, the Money playlist. How about the Man in the Mirror? The things I’ve been reading and hearing I don’t want to trust but me?

Let’s start with The Eve of a Cherry, which is a work of fiction, of course. Like yesterday I don’t want to believe that I could be that sick. If anything, I don’t want to know this as “my sickness” at all. I want to write, and yet like most of the things I do in life, I want to protect others. M Anime talks about wanting to be law enforcement. Hell, I break so many laws on a day to day basis. I know, I still owe an explanation about my views on the country. Don’t I always say tomorrow? Now that’s something I want to believe in, but where will I be. Writing more words that I might as well call lies. No, again, it’s fiction, but I’m like one of my characters, which is pretty bad. Indiana Gone and Cherry would tell me to believe in myself.

Believe in something right or fall for anything, so yet one more day, I’m in the right place. I haven’t made the bed in days, and that’s because of what happens after our conversations. You want some facts, I’m going to eat and then I’m going to take a nap. If Fiction and Nonfiction have any agreements, it’s in the fact that they both take hard work. Do I call it fiction what I’m telling NaNoWriMo? I did write 50,000 words, only not all in one month. 19,200 last month and then expansion and still it’s like I’m a CHEATER.

One more word I’m starting to hate. Why do you think I have to remember such beauty? Once upon a time, I could tell you the name of the original 150 Pokémon. Now I can tell you the name of so many cosplayers, cute pornstars, and characters that I refer to as, well. It’s not a nice word in the states. Only I know an Australian Mom. I want to believe in women, in writing, and in the world I one day want to build.

Who am I though Lady Sophia; Will To Be Believed.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 291 ~Will The Adults Stand~

Well, I’m not standing up for the adults that still read, or at least I didn’t try yesterday. I was much too busy reading my novel and when I could expect my check since I’m not at the Day Job. “Will The Adults Stand” and sit back down

Friday, April 17, 2020

Log 291 ~Will The Adults Stand~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, well at least $1,200 closer. Hell, I’ve gotten out of bed for a lot less, which is pretty sad. I’m right here, doing what I LOVE, and that means being wrapped up in blankets. At this moment, Lady Sophia, I’m planning on how I will waste the day. What’s stopping me right now from getting up and going to work at the dining room table? There’s this old quote I read about standing for something or falling for anything. So it’s in the spirit of that Lady Sophia that I will tell you what I’ll stand for… in a literal sense.

Take last night (It’s Wednesday) right now, but what am I reading? It’s not veterinarian bills; when I heard something fall and I went rushing to my kid. I read his little face every day. Again, right now, I got up and let him outside to pee. Speaking of protection, every morning. I pick up my gun, switch the magazines, and put it back down. I’m still reading up on gun ownership, and even YouTube has taken notice. Owning a weapon isn’t something you can only read and watch, but you have to do. There’s a training center here, and yet I lack the courage to go. I could blame the Coronavirus (COVID-19), but that would be like blaming the Day Job. I did mention I got the stimulus check today (April 15) tax day, of course. Still, I ordered my speedloader from Amazon, and you know I’m not going to Jim ‘N Nick’s after my last two humiliations. I like the fries, though, so…

I need to stand up; otherwise, I’ll lose myself to porn once again. Looking over my notes, it took eleven different things to make me break NO FAP, twelve counting the girl in my novel. The Eve of a Cherry, Lady Sophia that is something I’ll stand for, finishing it. I’m still eating and bathing, taking care of myself the bare minimum, and no, I’m not suicidal. It sucks, but I don’t want to have my ears clogged again for the most part. I might as well enjoy not hearing the humming anymore. To this day, I don’t know the cause or why it stopped. Is there anything else that gets me to stand… boobs?

Politics, Equality, Outage, a new book; Will The Adults Stand.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 284 ~Hand It To Will~

So what of expansion, arsenals, amorous lovers, art of my excuses etc. The novella at this point was 19,000 words but where am I at right now. Is it the eve of the end of the world, still in bed, some story I should be reading. “Hand It To Will”

Friday, April 10, 2020

Log 284 ~Hand It To Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that’s because I keep my hands busy. Now I know I’m still not writing as much as I should. Lady Sophia, there was a time I was heavy into the Young Adult genre. Of course, that changed with Fifty Shades of Grey… 50 Million copies.

Yeah, I’m putting that out there because you know there are people who want to yell like Jay Sherman. It Stinks! Speaking of The Critic, I have added on to The Eve of a Cherry, but like I said, counting up the words that I don’t write. Last night I made it to 100 only to say that I had written something down. I talked about my newest obsession yesterday, and that’s what I was counting up. No more guns yet but plenty of bullets. Don’t get me wrong I’ve been reading up on all the responsibilities of owning a weapon. I’m also still reading Sex Zombies by S. Wolf. We should be so lucky, Lady Sophia, but no, there’s only people getting sick. Is it worse to be ill in body or in mind, I wonder? I feel fine, but it might no longer be the end of the world, not quite yet anyway.

Again I’ve been lost in plenty of pages. It looks like my country is going to get a smidge better or a lot worse now that Bernie Sanders dropped out of the race. You know I’m not one for politics, but I’m not one for people dooming us all either. Between you and me, I want to go back to my story though I was struggling. At least my sex fiends are fiction, but what about the fantasies? It’s things like the state of the world that make me feel as though I’m a great writer. So writing, women, and weapons, and when I’m not working on any of that? Well, I should stop writing about becoming a better father and simply be for My Dæmon. Keeping both of us safe isn’t that what I’m doing, hmm? If I had tentacles, paws, a mace for a hand like Aaron on The Walking Dead. No, I need to count up the excuses and fear to press the right or wrong buttons.

Within these hands, Lady Sophia lies a writer’s strength. The world is yours/mine, Lady Sophia, so Hand It To Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 277 ~Willy Plays The Fool~

This time last week, I was touting writing some 19,000 words. Now it’s up to me to expand it to 50,000, then again Camp NaNoWriMo is different from November NaNoWriMo, I hope we haven’t forgotten life by then. Willy Plays The Fool

Friday, April 3, 2020

Log 277 ~Willy Plays The Fool~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which must mean I take everyone else as a fool. Now I know plenty of wealthy people that are; okay, I’ll just say it STUPID. Then again, I’ve been sitting here. Watching Girlfriend Reviews and The Walking Dead reactions. They’re famous but not exactly rolling around in green. The fact remains, I am a fool and don’t call me Willy, no matter how you spell it. Yes, I know Lady Sophia; sexual innuendo. I haven’t forgotten today we should talk about books. I did forget April Fool’s Day but never writing.

So that leads me to today, which is actually (April 1) and the first day of Camp NaNoWriMo. I meant to have this conversation with you even earlier this morning. Of course, I forgot not to turn off my alarm. Should I be worried I’m expanding on my novella? The Eve of a Cherry already has me feeling like a cheater. I have 19,360 words down, and Camp is different than the challenge which happens in November. Haven’t I forgotten to publish quite a few books at this rate Lady Sophia? Even now, I’m looking at twenty chapters of 2500 words each. How did I ever accomplish such a task once or twice, a lot more than that? All the time, I would blame The Day Job, and now I have all the days before me, and how did I begin? Well, at least we’re talking, again I never forget that; wish I could laugh.

Yes, I still do laugh from time to time. It’s not funny though that we had a heatwave, and when I finally succumb, I wake up freezing. Hilarity does not ensue when apparently I have grown so used to the humming that I can’t tell if it’s gone or not. I still remember that quote if you can make a girl laugh you can make her do anything. Too bad, I was dreaming about a whole crop of girls last night. For the NOVEL, I’m still not writing at this particular moment. I swear I have been chasing with my Willy, ever since Tenchi Universe and the episode “No Need for Swimsuits!” I could talk about looking up, “Ayeka Naked?” How I forget things like Coronavirus or silly stuff like survival and hating to lose.

Well, he who laughs last and Willy Plays The Fool.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 270 ~Will In The Wasteland~

Well, it’s done, the novella is finished, some 19,000 words and not a single person I can share it with. Camp NaNoWriMo is beginning in April, and I feel somewhat like a cheater because I’m only adding the desert of the fiction. Will In The Wasteland

Friday, March 27, 2020

Log 270 ~Will In The Wasteland~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which wouldn’t mean much if we’re all dead. Let me start by saying I’m so sorry. I swear this is what happens when you time-travel, and all the days begin to bleed together. Right now, it’s Wednesday, my lousy day, but shouldn’t I be talking about what I’m reading or writing Friday. We’ll get to that, but I am sorry for my bout of depression. Yesterday I was talking about literally being over the HUMP. Now leave it to a girl in a very big PINK bra, Reagan Kathryn, and the idea of some church sex.

Yes, Lady Sophia, you didn’t need to read that, but it was in the first part of my novella. Sorry to say it was in the last chapter of my novella, The End. Well, Lady Sophia, if you don’t like SPOILERS, here’s your OFFICIAL SPOILER ALERT. Everybody dies except for my character. I’m pretty sure Earth Erotic wouldn’t appreciate that ending. Do you remember when I was freaking out to hear from them? It’s been weeks, and what about iUniverse? I told them to shut-up after weeks of annoyance. So let’s talk about things I read like all those ads from Wish. At this point in the story, I’m tempted to say they’re the reason I keep getting all those warnings from Norton. You know, all I’ve ever wanted is to be desired. The ironic thing is, only criminals want me even in times such as these, the awaiting wasteland.

I am an American, yeah you hacking scumbags. Anyway, in the eyes of the world, that doesn’t impress. At least I can look forward to $1,200, but Trump is still in charge, so that’s doubtful. What would I do with the money anyway? It’s not like I’m living my dreams right about now. While I broke NO FAP, I have still been in isolation for SIGH five days. I’m going to have to go outside sooner or later, but with how I’ve been reading people? Lady Sophia, I’m a lover snickers, not a fighter, but I’m adding to my arsenal. Finally, NaNoWriMo is coming up in April. I’ve barely done 5000 words with all this time off in a single day. It also feels like cheating to expand on the novella I’ve just finished anyway.

Lady Sophia, I am the waste, Will In The Wasteland.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 263 ~Will Cover To Cover~

NaNoWriMo is coming up fast and I have no excuse not to write. Everything is shutting down, The Day Job is still going but with the Coronavirus? Let’s face it, am I “lazy,” never getting up early, staying up late. “Will Cover To Cover”

Friday, March 20, 2020

Log 263 ~Will Cover To Cover~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I hope that’s because I wrote a bestseller. Never forget Lady Sophia, my name is locked up someplace in junior college admissions. There’s a file somewhere in a law enforcement database. Even at the Day Job, while undoubtedly, there is a line that reads, “doesn’t play well with others.” It’s like I’m The Postman or Beta from The Walking Dead, I know you, you’re famous. To this day, I wouldn’t mind the notoriety of Le Marquis de Sade. Now, of course, if I expect to get anywhere, here’s the answer.

Where am I right now? I’m on the cover of my bed, and I tried Lady Sophia, honest. I ate nachos and went right to reading after. Will Smith said that having a Plan B distracts from Plan A. The Day Job pays the “bills,” keeps My Dæmon very much alive. I make up the covers, so I don’t end up in them, but even with all the time in the world, I stay up late. Not one week has gone by where I keep “it” in my pants. People are getting sick all over, so I hear, and I still sleep late like a baby. Yeah, so I can spend the whole day whining. What do I have to complain about, hmm? Well, is it the fact that I have to hide who I am from the world. Lady Sophia, it could be that people think they know me, my cover identity. Between the two, I don’t know who I am. As the song goes, “Ever since I got signed, I don’t know what’s real anymore,” Walk With Me.

Did I accomplish anything today? I finished Dark Notes, and I was so worried. You know I think I listen to these stories because I’ll do anything not to hear them. A little while ago, I looked up Court’s story. You remember the “horror” story her life that got me to sign up for Patreon? Now that was more of a confession, something for Inspector Echo. Anyway, it won’t stop me from reading Erotic fiction. One more reason I only listen to stories I’ve read once. Speaking of Erotic Fiction, I wonder what Earth Erotic thinks of my novella. I’ve never been one for making a good first impression. I’m worse with SIGH The End.

Making Will Cover To Cover.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 256 ~Incorrigible Wills, Insatiable Infatuations~

Well, today, I wanted to sound intelligent; I should try that at work or better yet saying anything at all. Only all I have is three and four-letter words and not the nice kind, so I’m looking for grander. Incorrigible Wills, Insatiable Infatuations.

Friday, March 13, 2020

Log 256 ~Incorrigible Wills, Insatiable Infatuations~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I can afford a massive dictionary and thesaurus. So ask me why I’m using such big words for other than listening to Dark Notes. How about reading The Gargoyle when I’m not falling asleep? Don’t take that as a criticism of Andrew Davidson’s Masterpiece. As the song goes, “work sucks, I know;” I’m exhausted, and the book tumbled down to my chest. To think I can go to sleep with this HUMMING. I saw some power company out and about today, but they didn’t fix whatever it is, my madness.

Like the stories, I’ve been paying attention to these many days. Of course, we could talk about my obsession with alliteration. Nope, to quote another song, “sex and horror are the new Gods.” Lady Sophia, you know that’s what I’m all about in life. On the FEAR front, do you want facts or fiction? If we choose fiction, let’s go with The Walking Dead. I told Indiana Gone I’m discombobulated and why? There is Eugene’s love life, The Battle For Hilltop, Judith’s first human kill. Fact is, here and now, everyone is talking about Coronavirus (COVID-19). Yes, I am still quite entertained, which I shouldn’t be right? Lady Sophia, this is my bread and butter; all my favorite stories are the end of the world. It depends in some instances if we talk about a single life knowing alteration forever.

“It is an awesome feeling to know you are about to change someone’s life forever.” ― Tomorrow, When the War Began (2010)

“whoever saves one life, save the world entire.”

“Lust is to the other passions what the nervous fluid is to life; it supports them all, lends strength to them all ambition, cruelty, avarice, revenge, are all founded on lust.” ― Marquis de Sade

Being a writer, isn’t that what I want to do somehow? I’m writing, or should I say not writing my story, which now needs a new name, but Cherry will still be front and center. Not like I am going to work on it tonight, why bother lying. Speaking of lying, I’m still not with my new infatuation. Where do I even begin; with Math? How about Wish giving me all sorts of ideas. Between the rain, reading Siren, and trying to drink more water. No wonder swimsuits keep popping up. More stuff for the submissive or dang it buying a submissive. I keep going with more books. As I said, I’m into Dark Notes, and in The Gargoyle, remember the Narrator lost some of his “parts.” So much stress. And I am barely hanging on with everything Lady Sophia.

The pain in my life is always labeled, To Be Continued. I’m trying to write out Incorrigible Wills, Insatiable Infatuations.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 249 ~Will And His Writes~

What’re 1200 words between friends, nothing at all, so I might as well be writing on the wall of a bathroom stall or the tile of my shower, and it’s not like I’m in a rush to read. Will And His Writes

Friday, March 6, 2020

Log 249 ~Will And His Writes~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but not for long if I behave like last night. It wasn’t sweat, blood, and tears; I was spilling. At this point in my life story, I’m too lazy even to write excuses. Once again, I’m worried about NaNoWriMo, but at least I’m not asking questions anymore. Not to “those” people, and I was whining to everybody else last night (Tuesday). A depression bender but more wasted words and how I hate wasting words. Don’t laugh, Lady Sophia, but then again, I go from having too many critics right to zero.

So what words do matter? The last wasn’t a word, but an oval, I voted on Super Tuesday. Well, the only names I knew were those going against President Trump. Nobody wants to hear this, but the country is going to Hell anyway despite everything. Next would be updating my “counter,” you know the one. Yes, I broke down once again, but I was stressed out. Being out in the world, people were ticking me off. Now I could say so many violent words, Lady Sophia. The terms that will get me in trouble, though “Dirty Old Man,” and “Teen Tennis Star.” Then there are the words that I have to be ever so careful in choosing. It beats silence, but again I’m done being a “BETA” reader. Lady Sophia, it’s like NERVE, are you a Watcher or a Player.

Then explain to me why I wasn’t playing last night with anything other than, well, you know. I still need to come up with the next chapter, which will feature my character “Bridgman.” Who’s going to read it though, Indiana Gone, Cherry, ha? What about writing two sections today, yeah I’m not funny, but I’m not working either. I didn’t send money for my “sexy” investment. Cash is usually always burning a hole in my pocket. At the same time, I struggled to write a note to get out of working SHOES. It doesn’t matter, though. Nobody’s taken the shift yet, and do I need someone texting. No more messages from Norton or H&R Block, but somebody is still trying. I can’t get that music out of my ears. Stuff I don’t want to hear or see, my writing, keys pounded on, another few alarms.

I know what I want to do okay, so why not, Will And His Writes.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 242 ~Will Of Old Men~

You don’t talk they tell me and when I do, shut up, I don’t write I say and when I do block, delete trash, so of course, my best friend would be someone who can neither talk nor read. “Will Of Old Men, mine is to write.”

Friday, February 28, 2020

Log 242 ~Will Of Old Men~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I should be like everyone else and pay for silence. Right now, I’ll admit I can barely hear the humming my head is brimming with ideas. Today I know, the last Friday of February (Tuesday honest), I should be listening to My Dæmon’s loud barks. We’ll get to it, don’t you worry, but I had sort of a melding of the minds with Cherry this afternoon. You remember as I had with my Big Sister, but she’s in Australia. For want of a woman, and I’m talking to one in England. Good news, NaNoWriMo’s ready.

It’s hard keeping all of my stories together, but I believe my next one won’t be part of the series. Should I tell you the one that starred My Dæmon, albeit Transmogrified? I don’t even remember if I gave that novel a name. Well Lady Sophia, as with the rest of them it always begins or ends in some brothel. My Old Man is a horndog in every sense, but getting him neutered? If you told me way back then that it could buy him more time, I would have considered it. Am I typing too loud, or does he know because he took off upstairs? He’ll return, he always does. I see plenty of writers talk about cats, but my kid is the perfect writing companion. Don’t get me wrong, though; I’m starting to get like Marianne Engel from The Gargoyle. She’s the sculptress of grotesques; I’m the narrator of filth, excuse me pornography.

Now that leads me to talk about Cherry. I mused that she and I should write together and she said yes. Don’t get excited, Lady Sophia, you know how I get about group projects unless you’re an Australian mom. Cherry is much too tame (sleeping with a corpse). I’m also well, me (everything you’re going to do before making a corpse and after). So while she is working on The Cherry Chronicles, I’ll be writing a novella as well. A Minister, a mom, a Millennial, and a Man walk into a church, hmm. Sounds like the start of some bad joke, plus she’s no Millennial, truth be told I am. Anyway, will this be an Erotica? You know me so well, Lady Sophia but 12,540 words. I’m a stickler for math and alliteration. To write today, Will Of Old Men.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 235 ~Dizzying Heights Of Will~

I’m not scared of heights, well high prices, giving in to specific addictions, and the pitch my son makes if and when he gets into trouble, but I also keep my word count up, well maybe not today. “Dizzying Heights Of Will,” I keep climbing.

Friday, February 21, 2020

Log 235 ~Dizzying Heights Of Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so why am I starving. At this moment, I have $45.00 in my wallet, so that’s solved. $10.00 for gas, $15.00 for “redistribution,” and $20.00 directly to find a new place to eat. My two favorite restaurants closed, but come on, why not get a burger or something. Am I still ticked off at Audible for cheating me out of $5.00? For the record, I was buying Think and Grow Rich. Now also something you should know, who’s not starving, my little pancake; how he eats.

My Dæmon always has food, while I’m going without because I’m a Scrooge. Don’t get me wrong, Lady Sophia, I’m nobody’s charity case as I want to scream at the Day Job. If anything, I’m super selfish when it comes to myself. Okay, so I “buy” plenty of Pornography. I need to get comfortable with that word since I do intend to be a pornographer in one of my business ventures. Come on now, Lady Sophia, if Andrew Davidson’s character in The Gargoyle can say it plenty, why can’t I?

That’s what I’ve been doing at work, listening to The Gargoyle on Audible. One more book I bought while I was getting cheated. It’s one of my favorites to read and speaking of which, I’m still reading Siren: A Dark Retelling by Hazel Grace. I’m heading into that dangerous portion. Where I’m not sure, I should continue, like Chloe warning me in Detroit: Become Human.

One more game I’m not playing because of the “DANG” humming coming from the Den. I left a note for the neighbors, but they might not be the root cause. Talk about things I regret writing because aren’t I supposed to be talking about my son. Anyway, I was dizzy at the Day Job today (Tuesday) from lack of food, seriously I have cash, why not eat? In any case, my son, once upon a time, got so dizzy. He couldn’t jump, was having trouble walking, etc. It turns out there was a tick in his ear. Well, of course, I called the vet and set up an appointment the next day. I carried My Dæmon everywhere for hours, but he still wanted to walk, what a trooper. At the vet, his crying when they pulled out the tick, maddening.

I’m not scared of heights, none but his high wailing so, Dizzying Heights Of Will.

I Will Have No Fear