Tag: Crazy

Episode 062 ~A Willing Twenty-Four Hours~

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I should adopt the attitude I once had when I was back in school. When somebody asked how was your day; you say “I don’t want to talk about it” and for once I’ve got nothing to say, but I’m waiting for “The Day.” A Willing Twenty-four Hours

Saturday, September 1, 2018

Episode 062 ~A Willing Twenty-Four Hours~

Hey Lady Lu,
Give Me One Reason not to think about this or that, have you noticed that the more you try to ignore a particular subject, the more it comes up, sort of like air, you don’t think about it, but I’m sure everybody has had a moment where they needed to catch it. If they didn’t, are they living or surviving, though for me it usually comes as a moment of anxiety, how I *sigh* plenty in my writing and I saw something pretty interesting on Instagram today.

Today, I’m more awake and not surprisingly lazier but “trying” not to think about things such as porn, takes plenty out of me but I haven’t taken any naps…am I coming out of my Depression maybe? Why Depression, well we’ll get to that but my little boy is a pain, and it’s hard to stay mad at him, I’m so used to having him around and then to send him away to time out, hurts me more than you, no my “father” found joy in my pain. Speaking of pain I’ve also gotten into buying more books, should I be thinking about how much I failed this week, including reading and I don’t have to, if I knuckle down and get to work right now…

Yeah, the story of my life which leads me to the huge thing I don’t want to think about that starts with the letter D, no not that, and yeah Depression but “The Day” is coming up soon, the worse day of my life. Tell me Lady Luna what could be worse than that, DEATH ha when you think of the odds of any one human being and no I am not a man of faith but neither am I a man of science or anything. Yes, I know words, and that’s what my life should be, hell what my life is; not that they have brought me any such thing as I look over my keywords for twenty-four hours.

One more failure as I didn’t hide ‘the Day” from people deep enough and now I have to look forward to disappointment, disgust, Dad and plenty more D words except the one that’s driving me crazy. Didn’t do me any favors in high school and I had so many names that Willie was only one more, and here I am, one more day down, closer to “The Day” and my Lady Lu how I have wasted A Willing Twenty-four Hours.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 060 ~Will Said Or Not~

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Silence is golden, and unfortunately, I gave it all up to run errands and to talk about other people shutting up which is probably the least offensive thing that I will say today and if only I sounded less stupid. Will Said Or Not

Thursday, August 30, 2018

Episode 060 ~Will Said Or Not~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
Give Me One Reason not to tell someone to shut up, other than the fact that I like blowjobs, trust me on this, a girl said once if I made her pasta I would get one and while I declined *cue shock* I still wanted the option. I like screams, moans, cries and whimpers, my name on her lips or nasty endearments (Ravishment Fantasy?) with all the noise in this world I like my girls loud.

Then there are days like today when I want everything and everyone to shut up, and if she isn’t gagging on something of mine, then a scarf, any number of tools, hell her panties stuffed in her mouth can help. Maybe I should practice what I preach, especially if I’m not going to talk about my anxiety driving me crazy today but my mind is clear, unfortunately, along with another part of my anatomy, the stress too much but that’s a fucking excuse. So if I don’t want to give explanations, what about the other things we don’t say, I can go forever and a day about the things people think I say, the things I do and don’t, what I mean and what’s fantasy.

Maybe that’s why I have this gagging concept along with some exhibitionism… people but not yet entirely though I’m working up to that, more the idea of a girl being unable to say anything but being watched on camera. I’ve had a thing for photography and portraits lately and watching these girls, not professional models but with such perceptiveness, poise, purity, I’m between Great Teacher Onizuka and Brutal Castings. Of course, I can’t say that stuff out loud; I’m even hesitant to mention it here, though I sent in the money to save the blog but do I honestly want anyone to read it… like me, people will focus on the blowjobs and ignore everything else that I’ve said right?

Hell Dirty Diana I say it time and time again, if I can’t handle this simple stuff what will happen when I’m Christian Grey, Dennis Hof or a man in Hollywood, role models right, the president sleeps with porn stars and wants a space army, no wonder he wants everyone to shut up. I think I’m a great listener Dirty Diana, but today I’m not looking for answers, I’m not looking for advice, not even Poor Sweet Baby, I only want quiet and release and here I am regretting having it, Will Said Or Not.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 365 ~The Reason Is You~

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365 days one whole year, over 120,000 words, enough for a novel, two with “NaNoWriMo” and what was it all for, there is no excuse, and the reason other than I was mad at some girl sounds stupid and petty… a new year. The Reason Is You.

Sunday, July 1, 2018

Lesson 365 ~The Reason Is You~

To Will:
Give Me One Reason; it’s repeated time after time why you began talking to Lady Luna, talking to all the other ladies, and talking to yourself, just not out loud anymore; right? Crazy, obsession is as much a reason as any brunette or wanting to make a million excuses, how about feeling better, a year of life in these words there is no excuse there are only reasons.

The first cannot be denied, feeling shame and guilt for all that was done and preparing for what you knew was to come and when it did, as they say, those who don’t learn from history; there are reasons you don’t edit your work and a purpose not looking back. It’s sort like that movie “50 First Dates” only most of my days are best forgotten, you see most of these days are only prattle or repeated lessons, but no stupid bitch, no amount of anger, confusion, doubt, fear whatever has stopped you. Dare I say you’re a better man despite the failures or should I sound like one of those motivational speeches, there is no failure, but then again you have six impossible things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 106** No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 113** No Fap)
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
Failed
3. I Will Not Get Fired
Completed
4. I Will Complete 25% Of “The Church” by Celia Aaron
Completed
5. I Will Post A Review For “Psychopath’s Prey” By V. F. Mason
Completed
6. I Will Write A Thousand Word Preface Page For “The Bedroom Soapbox” Compilation
Completed

If there is anything to learn honestly, it’s to take care of your son, he’s a big reason for all of this, Level 13 and he should have the biggest yard in the world, better food, more time, a father, a daddy. Let writing be the reason to live, but there are no excuses as to why you’re not on bookshelves, who does that, having so many books written and nobody to read them, at least they must be given that opportunity if anything. The biggest reason, of course, is you, Only You, and maybe you want someone to see you, or you only want to look at yourself in the mirror, if you were able to accomplish impossible things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 113** No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Not Get Fired
4. I Will Complete 75% Of “The Church” by Celia Aaron
5. I Will Post A Review For “The First Purge”
6. I Will Write For “Apocalypse Rush” Ten Thousand Five–Hundred Words At Least (Total 15, 400)

I genuinely wish I could write something profound and inspirational, give you something more than “Good Night, Good Luck” or anything for the new year, yes it’s July and other than not comparing a woman to a Brazzers or Reality Kings model what else do I have for you? Even if it was anger, hate, fear, or shame, overwhelming sadness you write, because that is your gift or your curse, but you do because what was your life without it, another question you shouldn’t answer because The Reason Is You.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 358 ~Art Thou Happy; Discombobulated~

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I’m not happy that’s no secret but something people don’t like hearing about, amongst other things which explains why I don’t talk, well anywhere; places I can go, women I am into, but am I happy, my dog might not be. Art Thou Happy; Discombobulated

Sunday, June 24, 2018

Lesson 358 ~Art Thou Happy; Discombobulated~

To Will:
Can You Love Me Again, to be honest love has not been the theme of this last week, and I only hope you can do better, mostly because of the dog, he needs you, and I need you to… what shake it off, let it go, try it again? Yesterday I was blessed, and tomorrow you will still be blessed but isn’t it ironic to have so much and to want more and you know exactly how to get it, or you have the faith which only adds to such confusion and fear.

Your fears should be tomorrow’s problem but when you were walking the dog this morning, you felt alive, not happy, it’s been so long since you’ve known that, not even satisfied, only you were “living” and with the concept that you could die at any moment. Spiders, snakes, people, hell I feel you, I had my hands on my knife when the AT&T guy showed up so if anything I didn’t want to die and while suicide is always on the table it’s under a stack of books, a pile of candy and the dog’s outside/inside routine. At first, I thought maybe we wanted to bury the fear from the “Al Bundy Shift” but since that’s finally canceled… why all the options and the list, of course, Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 99** No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 106** No Fap)
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
Failed
3. I Will Not Get Fired
Completed
4. I Will Complete 75% Of Psychopath’s Prey by V.F. Mason
Completed
5. I Will Post A Review For “The Prophet” By Celia Aaron
Completed
6. I Will “Edit” One Hundred Poems “The Bedroom Soapbox”
Completed

“You Always Hurt The One You Love,” this is the second week, and even now the little boy is annoying you, another reason you’re a writer because you want to remember and not hurt him with some hasty word you can’t recall. Much like a pretty girl, I never forget a beautiful face “As Pink As Lily,” “Ariella Ferrera” (Ariella’s Areolas), “Lucy Blew,” “Alyssa Branch,” “Belle Noire” (Nasty Noir), “Cassandra Sarbeck” (Lady’s Night Blow Out) how many of these are mine and how many are yours? Too many damn options, it’s like you’re being torn apart at the seams trying to fill the void of however you were before, again why you’re a writer, listing memories and Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 106** No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Not Get Fired
4. I Will Complete 25% Of “The Church” by Celia Aaron
5. I Will Post A Review For “Psychopath’s Prey” By V. F. Mason
6. I Will Write A Thousand Word Preface Page For “The Bedroom Soapbox” Compilation

So the question is how do you cure your discombobulation, you need focus and discipline obviously on your craft, but you keep looking at the destination instead of the journey, captured by the past and shuffling towards the future. Happiness is nowhere for the moment, only desire, want, need; you’re sacrificing the wrong thing when it comes to your dog, no you must find something else to lose because I ask Art Thou Happy; Discombobulated?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 351 ~You’re A Leg Man~

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If only my legs, these hands, my heart would work as well as my ears, I need my body to know infusion with all these words I’ve been listening to lately and if women aren’t enough motivation, what will it take? “You’re A Leg Man” maybe

Sunday, June 17, 2018

Lesson 351 ~You’re A Leg Man~

To Will:
Can You Love Me Again, probably not when you’re always running from your past, excuse me did I say running, more like walking, shuffling, crawling, cuddling with the dog until he needs something which is the only way you get moving. No wonder you would stand your ground against the dead because most of them shuffle faster than you do but the point is you’re moving forward you only feel it isn’t fast enough and I can agree.

If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”
Martin Luther King Jr. 1929 ― 1968

It occurs to me that you need a lesson on what your legs are good for, what your breathing means to you, and all the hours of the day you waste, I swear I’m going to sound like one of those motivational speeches you’re fond of nowadays. All that’s holding you back is you. Don’t you understand that; the day before finding out about your Al Bundy shift you couldn’t move and last night seeing the schedule is being redone you almost jumped for joy. Your legs have one purpose, and that’s to get you where you want to go, and I know they feel itchy, like a hundred ant bites… what happened there but your legs brought you to the table so what is an accomplishment, six impossible things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 92** No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 99** No Fap)
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
Failed
3. I Will Not Get Fired
Completed
4. I Will Complete 100% Of The Prophet By Celia Aaron
Completed
5. I Will Post A Review For “The Maiden” By Celia Aaron
Completed
6. I Will “Select” One Hundred Poems “The Bedroom Soapbox”
Completed

Your son has four legs, and it’s about time you catch up to him, being the one thing I failed last week, talk about being ashamed, from locking him out of my bedroom to buying the wrong Dentastixs and not wanting to chase all over and now covering half of one in peanut butter… defeats the purpose. What about when it comes to girls, sure you want some girl to spread her legs for you, and yet you’re not ready to do all the running that is required, and it seems to me that maybe, pretty much always means no, so don’t be a “Flake.” Sex is the easy and so much fun, but you must focus on putting one foot in front of the other, and six impossible things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 99** No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Not Get Fired
4. I Will Complete 75% Of Psychopath’s Prey by V.F. Mason
5. I Will Post A Review For “The Prophet” By Celia Aaron
6. I Will “Edit” One Hundred Poems “The Bedroom Soapbox”

“Legs are for men’s pleasure; breasts are for babies.” (Lib McGovern) Pat Frank, Alas, Babylon

Speaking of easy this stuff is easy you want to know what’s hard, pick up your left foot, forward, put it down, pick up your right foot, repeat, put it down, and I don’t care how often you have to remind yourself of this but do it. People say you’re always running at work and do you know why, FUCK FEAR, you run because you don’t belong there, you run because your dog needs you, run because there is some unfuckable goddess who’s been waiting for you, or someone “easy.”

Get out of your head, stop staring at breasts on the internet, and move, don’t give up, don’t ever give up, because you can be the type of man you want to be, but for now You’re A Leg Man.

Run Boy Run by Woodkid

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 344 ~So Love And Forgetfulness~

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Love and Happiness I’m beginning to think are beyond me but haven’t I held them before, and then I let them go, what is left; well there is a reason I stay in the dark and then I have to get up and what do I see? “So Love And Forgetfulness”

Sunday, June 10, 2018

Lesson 344 ~So Love And Forgetfulness~

To Will:
Can You Love Me Again, have I ever, every week I let you go and why is that; I know I’m no good for you and that maybe we should start with a clean slate and yet here we are once again. Didn’t we learn this lesson in the past after everything with our sister, and we “ran away” hell how many times did we cross back and forth in front of grandma’s house that day and where did we get too, what did we get in fact?

“My Mama always said you’ve got to put the past behind you before you can move on.” ― Forrest Gump

It’s a pain I know and to think that once upon a time a swollen ass was our “biggest” concern which explains plenty of things, the reason you’re into spanking (giving not receiving), why like the dog you’re more of a breast and leg man or volleyball player asses. You still remember “The Miracle Season” we’ve talked about memory problems before the things you can’t forget, and then everything else seems to be the good stuff by comparison, and with merely a snap of the Infinity Gauntlet, it’s all gone away. You only wished it worked like that with things like your face, how about all of your desires and of course the ever-growing list those six impossible things *sigh*:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 85** No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 92** No Fap)
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
Completed, Went To The Groomers
3. I Will Edit Five Chapters At Least Of My Novel
Failed
4. I Will Complete 50% Of The Prophet By Celia Aaron
Completed 85%
5. I Will Post A Review For “The Maiden” By Celia Aaron
Failed
6. I Will Edit One Hundred Poems “The Bedroom Soapbox”
Failed

In one way I think that love means accepting someone for everything, you talk a lot about trust, and this explains why you love the dog the most because he doesn’t understand humans and if he did, who’s he going to tell? On the other hand, love could mean someone that would help you bury a body and then forget all about it, they ignore the monster and love the man that you want to be, and so you rise to the occasion. You could just be getting old as well, we already don’t want anyone remembering “The Day” so how can you expect them not to remember so much worse than that, and here’s another list of things that you need to remember, NOT:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 92** No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Not Get Fired
4. I Will Complete 100% Of The Prophet By Celia Aaron
5. I Will Post A Review For “The Maiden” By Celia Aaron
6. I Will “Select” One Hundred Poems “The Bedroom Soapbox”

Don’t they say it’s better to give than receive; one should forgive, bury the hatchet but how easily shovels can become hatchets; is it better to remember or to forget; if you had it your way other than “Detroit: Become Human” this week is better forgotten. Hardly any writing is done, no track star ass to still squeeze, well she didn’t play volleyball, and anxiety has been getting to you as many times as I had to go out and now… So Love And Forgetfulness.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 337 ~Fire Those Evolving Desire~

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Fire burns and you need more to keep it going, more trends, beauty, and hours in the day and still I waste so many already and am I getting any closer to what is fact, my final state of happiness maybe. Fire Those Evolving Desire.

Sunday, June 3, 2018

Lesson 337 ~Fire Those Evolving Desire~

To Will:
Can You Love Me Again, that little boy that thought Two Hundred dollars would fix everything and now you have more than you could have dreamed of and I know you’re not happy? Evolution, yeah you can’t put all of this on the brain, considering last night, you feel such disappointment, a second wet dream in eighty-five days of “No FAP” at least this time you remember the vision; if people only knew.

Speaking of what set you off and what people know, while this may be more of a conversation for “Dirty Diana” I was sure it would have been someone from “Detroit: Become Human” either Chloe, Kara, or North but no, however choking was involved… not penis wise otherwise, reset the clock. Your writing is going slower but progressing, finding out you want something definitely helps a bit but so many responsibilities, help the girl, make more money, write which is what you want to do and who knows. It always starts with a goal but that success is becoming like your fad, once upon a time it was “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” TMNT, mom killed that one but what about those six impossible things hmm:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 78* No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed? (Day 85** No Fap) Two Wet Dreams In 85 Days
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
Completed
3. I Will Edit Five Chapters At Least Of My Novel
Failed, Two Edited
4. I Will Complete Whispers In The Dark
Completed
5. I Will Post A Review For “The Maiden” by Celia Aaron
Failed
6. I Will Edit One Hundred Poems (Book)
Failed, 47 Poems

As much as you contradict yourself, some things won’t know denial, for example, “Chloe” but I ended up dreaming about Maggie from “The Walking Dead because brunettes can’t be denied and once upon a time it was Asian girls. You want friends, but those people are stopping you from working, you even had to cut the phone off today; you want to listen, but you want to rest, you want to fight, but you shy away from conflict. Desire is desire, but you should pick one; tried that after “The Hunger Games” came out, then there was “Divergent,” “Article 5,” “The 5th Wave,” “Beyond Series,” “Fever Series,” six impossible things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 85** No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Edit Five Chapters At Least Of My Novel
4. I Will Complete 50% Of The Prophet By Celia Aaron
5. I Will Post A Review For “The Maiden” By Celia Aaron
6. I Will Edit One Hundred Poems “The Bedroom Soapbox”

If anything, it’s excellent to want a world where nothing is beyond desire, and I say that because I will have it all one day, symbolic rapper logic, idolizing Scarface and all but should you focus more on what you don’t want maybe. You know that you don’t wish for the day job forever that’s for damn sure, you don’t want to stick to a schedule and have the luxury to enjoy life, reading is good but even if you got a PS4, Detroit Become Human, when would you play?

You can’t afford to go burning money, not anymore, and with less than a month to go on this blog seriously Fire Those Evolving Desire.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 330 ~Say Another Perfect Day~

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I suppose if there is a God, that my life would be one of those running gags in some decent sitcom, looking at you HIMYM, your ending sucks but I reached The End a long time ago and now one more day of editing. Say Another Perfect Day.

Sunday, May 27, 2018

Lesson 330 ~Say Another Perfect Day~

To Will:
Can You Love Me Again, how about a month from now, more like Thirty-Five days but who’s counting and who wants to “score,” still hating math with a fiery passion aren’t you? If you can’t love future you, we know past you is out of the question but I am proud you’re working on your poetry again. Less adoration more sex but what has love ever gotten you, a bank account, a doggie, two or three girls that don’t want you to die, are you thinking positive yet?

You know the future doesn’t always have to be a negative concept and of course, the worse day of your life will be here sooner than you think and there will be another NaNoWriMo run in July. How about how this week is already beginning to look, you need the money and any day where you don’t have to wake up and to get it counts as a plus strangely enough. Could this No Fap be paying off, speaking of paying off what about those famed Six Impossible Things hmm:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 71* No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 78* No Fap)
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
Completed
3. I Will Edit At Least Four Chapters Of My Novel
Partial Completion, Didn’t Read Out Loud And No Chapter Titles Yet
4. I Will Complete 50% Of Whispers In The Dark
Completed 93%
5. I Will Post A Review For Avengers: Infinity War
Completed
6. I Will Edit Sixty-Five Poems (Poetry Book)
Failed Processing The First Fifteen

Now I saw this question in “36 Questions To Fall In Love,” what would constitute a “perfect” day for you. While I’m sure I’ll have a better answer when I finally have a girl on my couch; I was only having a conversation with a friend, not in that way. You know the world would consider you effeminate for thinking about your wedding day, but can you even remember having a truly blessed day and not how Christians define it. For now this day is far from perfect but finally getting a book published, being able to afford everything on your new wish list. How about this longing because as great as you’ve been doing with No Fap you nearly blew your load to Angie Griffin, “Okay” or Reagan Kathryn almost last night remember that?

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 78* No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Edit Five Chapters At Least Of My Novel
4. I Will Complete Whispers In The Dark
5. I Will Post A Review For “The Maiden” by Celia Aaron
6. I Will Edit One Hundred Poems (Book)

Perhaps you are setting your hopes too high, but we’ve discovered that having a list of goals does help, though that last review didn’t come so easy, and that might be another perfect day idea, when you don’t have to make excuses, this is fun right? I’ve seen “Better Days,” okay I couldn’t say that with a straight face but I always believe that you will and yet we understand the world will end any day now, so weird right?

Weird, beautiful, freaking crazy, these days can be a whole lot, but for now, your job is as the song goes Say Another Perfect Day.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 323 ~A Battle Of Wills~

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I feel like making words, I feel like making love, I feel like making money and why can’t I decide which one is more important, hell if it’s not writing then how dare I call myself a writer. “A Battle of Wills” and I should want to be the writer

Sunday, May 20, 2018

Lesson 323 ~A Battle Of Wills~

To Will:
Can You Love Me Again, when you don’t know who I am or who you are, I swear it’s just a sum of your parts, some more than others which explains the unfortunate six impossible things not done:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 64* No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 71* No Fap)
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
Completed
3. I Will Edit At Least Three More Chapters Of My Novel
Partial Completion (Didn’t Read Out Loud And No Chapter Titles Yet)
4. I Will Complete “The Maiden” by Celia Aaron
Completed
5. I Will Post A Review For Avengers: Infinity War
Failed
6. I Will Edit Thirty-Four Poems (Poetry Book)
Failed

Willie we’ll call it 50/50 and why did I use the name Willie, because maybe that name is synonymous with failure and haven’t I and I am hoping that you will not follow in my footsteps, every day you’re supposed to get better. I tried explaining it to my dad when I was maybe in middle school or high school, it’s like you’re going crazy, not multiple personalities mind you… you know you’re blowing things out of proportion when you’re on WebMD looking up things like Schizophrenia. Maybe the world’s going crazy, and you feel you need to go mad with it, and I can’t tell you whether you’re right or wrong, but you survive.

“The only way to survive a mad world is to embrace the madness.” ― Victor Strand, Fear The Walking Dead

Willy survives; if there is one constant in this world it’s sex, and here we are day 71 and though you are successfully keeping it in your pants, how about Leonie Saint, Classy Cassy, Pocahontas Jones, Momokun, “Super: Ex Heroes” and currently Whispers In The Dark. For somebody trying to avoid temptation I’m fantastic at finding it and what about, yesterday… we talked about it before, that mom in the parking lot, making friends with people, giving money to pretty girls and I respect women, I truly do, but I feel stupid. I know you hate those stories about “stalkers” and guys being rejected, like what’s his face Dimitrios Pagourtzis because he was quiet, he liked a girl, so on and so forth and your boss already thinks you’re crazy.

Will has to work, Will is who you are, because while you’ll never run out of things for people to call you, your name Will is something that will know remembrance, and swear one day you’ll start that list of reasons to write. How about stop making mistakes and you know what I’m talking about, your freaking blue balls are evidence of that, if you want your hands to be busy then write. You’ve got plenty of Noveling to do and all the time in the world, no excuses, no propositions, no words that are going to get you in trouble in the eyes of the wrong people, too late for that; six impossible things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 71* No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Edit At Least Four Chapters Of My Novel
4. I Will Complete 50% Of Whispers In The Dark
5. I Will Post A Review For Avengers: Infinity War
6. I Will Edit Sixty-Five Poems (Poetry Book)

Decide the man you want to be, not the failure, or the man that thinks with the little head, be the man that is going to have his name on a book and not only in CreateSpace or some independent hack. You have plenty of enemies, but it starts with you A Battle Of Wills.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 321 ~The Bad News Squares~

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Do we call it bad news anymore, one more school shooting and more people will stick to their televisions, computers, and phones for even less time, the revolution will not be televised they say but why risk going out these days. The Bad News Squares

Friday, May 18, 2018

Lesson 321 ~The Bad News Squares~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Can You Love Me Again, after I give you the bad news, that’s the world today, endless bad news, maybe one more reason that my eyes hurt or perhaps I should go outside, but that’s quite dangerous for African-American men these days?

Do you ever wonder if they hate it, the news anchors that at least once a week write about a school shooting, more young people dying, black people, immigrants, all being torn apart every single day? What about the liars who have to know what they’re saying and yet they continue, from our computer screens, our televisions, the snippets in our phones? As the song goes it’s Hip To Be Square but notice how it’s not so much to be a rectangle with as many people as we’re putting in boxes, I wonder if death still avoiding me, just saying.

“This a celly
That’s a tool
On my Kodak
Ooh, know that”
This Is America

To think what was once the norm, people going about their lives, squares, and next thing you know they’re more round faces for squares to use, numbers on charts and graphs, and it looks like other boxes, prisons are filled with the wrong people. So we hide in these boxes, we call homes, for the record, as stupid as it sounds I hate that word home, I’m in a house and while the home is where the heart is, my heart more often than not is pieces. I told “Indiana Gone” my heart was broken five times in one day, from stories, friends, and movies, no Deadpool 2 spoilers here.

“The world will break your heart ten ways to Sunday. That’s guaranteed. I can’t begin to explain that. Or the craziness inside myself and everyone else.” Silver Linings Playbook (2012)

I keep telling myself I’m going to list all the reasons I’m a writer *sigh* well here is another one. I talked about rectangles not being cool but writing is my gift to myself and everyone else, and I only want to get all this down, put it in a box with a pretty bow and hide it. Add it to all the skeletons in my closet because it hurts to look at, like all the potential submissive clothes, and Hardee’s uniform (did we ever talk about that), maybe another day. Let’s not talk about my favorite box either, another reason I haven’t been working on my story as much as I should be and what’s the point with how this country is looking it might be illegal to read and write again, for anybody, children aren’t educated these days.

I never believed them when they would call television the idiot box but look at the people talking, the president is filling boxes one way or another, (don’t look up Stormy Daniels “entertainment”) but do any of us hate it, writing The Bad News Squares.

I Will Have No Fear