Tag: Day Job

Lesson 266 ~Thou Doth Protest Too~

WillLeave a comment

I’m starting with the man in the mirror but usually, that’s a discussion for another time, today people all of the U.S.A. are trying to hold that mirror up to the country while I just lie here, my body protesting life. Thou Doth Protest Too

Saturday, March 24, 2018

Lesson 266 ~Thou Doth Protest Too~

Hey Lady Lu,
I Am Not Fine Today or at least that’s what my body tells me; to be sure I had so many plans today but I stayed in bed just down for the count and my mind was playing tricks on me. Am I going to be all creative now and mention music or going to see Pacific Rim: Uprising, you’re probably the second person I can talk to about that film honestly.

Too bad the silent treatment isn’t exactly welcomed at work, as it would even matter, to anyone, too many people speaking for me anyway and how can I resist; I know it sounds pretty in song form, but that’s what I have been thinking about lately. Later on today people will be protesting against what’s wrong with this country, and there is a small bit of me that would like to join them. Not trying to sound suicidal but my body is protesting life itself, and that shows that things need to change if I would only just get up.

When did I turn all political, I know things can be better Lady Luna and it is scary to think that they can’t be and then I get angry because I know, I can do this, emphasis on DO but honestly what do I want to protest? Hell haven’t I tried, did I tell you what happened at work, that my First Amendment rights don’t exist, for the moment I still have my job. Again there is fear that everything would fall apart for me if I fought back but isn’t it already, trying to keep those with oh so fragile egos together, think Meg from “Family Guy” just saying.

There’s also so much to fight for, too much, every day there are petitions, animals in need crimes being committed and I want to help, but I was looking at my budget the other day, besides what little pleasures I allow, McDonald’s trip, a movie. Now, how about Starbucks, just enough to buy a small drink to soothe my conscience and anxiety to sit in a coffeehouse and hope for something that may never be.

Resist is what I have learned today, okay one more song “Man In The Mirror” Lady Luna how often have I told you about that line in Schindler’s List, “save a life and save the world entire” and that’s what these kids are doing, fighting to save their lives. I lied, the last song Pray For Me “You need a hero, look in the mirror, there go your hero” so if I want to save myself, Thou Doth Protest Too.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 265 ~The Keyword Is Working~

WillLeave a comment

Turn her or in this case them, into literature; I’m always writing about the ladies or to the ladies, and my latest story is headed in that direction too but is that what it takes to get me to write? The Keyword Is Working, writing, doing.

Friday, March 23, 2018

Lesson 265 ~The Keyword Is Working~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I Am Not Fine Today is something I can’t say at my day job of course but speaking of things I can’t utter or do at one position, how about talking about my career as a budding writer; yeah I’m still in the dirt. My next story is going to be plenty dirty as well, not that I have anything to worry about like people seeing it but consider this a business lunch Lady Sophia, another one of those six impossible things.

What I mean is I’m thinking about the story I’m going to write for Camp NaNoWriMo in April, hell I made it in November, and that’s another novel I should be thinking about come this year but one step at a time. Why do I feel the need to put myself in all of my stories and if I’m going to be in a story how about some nonfiction, besides this, “March For Our Lives” is tomorrow and I could take part but the best thing I got going is a trip to Starbucks. I’m still pining away for a love story that starts in a coffeehouse but who wants to say they met someone in a strip club honestly.

Anyway, onto the facts, the current idea running through my head is about a hitman who makes his targets sin, so he has a valid excuse to kill them; oh, and should I mention his victims are female. Don’t ask me where the idea came from though it does bring to mind a song here or there “T.N.T” from AC/DC, “Move Bitch” from Ludacris feat. I-20, Mystikal, and “Butcher Pete” from Roy Brown. Don’t worry I’m not going to spoil it for you Lady Sophia or myself for that matter. One because I’m not sure where I’m going with it yet and two I feel I have spoiled myself enough, avoiding Pacific Rim: Uprising and Unsane spoilers but diving headfirst into The Walking Dead, what was I thinking my Lady.

As far as ladies for my current project; I feel like Ethan Cole from “The Director” by Lily White. So ladies, Fiona Belli from “Haunting Ground” and Ashley Graham “Resident Evil,” Haley Pullos, Claire Abbott, along with Christina Lucci (Model), I might add some more. I know I do not sound original, being honest… at least I didn’t say zombies but now when I think about it; no I’m working seriously The Keyword Is Working.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 260 ~Bring On The Trades~

WillLeave a comment

How much is it all worth, how much are you, maybe I should get a price tag tattoo, so people will stop thinking of me as one colossal clearance, no a crown wears more than any mask I believe. Bring On The Trades, because I might be ready to carry it.

Sunday, March 18, 2018

Lesson 260 ~Bring On The Trades~

To Will:
I Am Not Fine Today, well that’s different from my usual I Am Not Afraid Anymore so why not trade a lie for the truth; because the truth will set you free but that doesn’t mean this nonfiction is free, not even here. Our conversations are perhaps the only place where I can say these words, “this is life,” “another day,” “this sucks,” “Is there anywhere else,” and much more; the world wants you to be a bargain, don’t be, you hear me?

“You Won’t Be Anyone’s Bargain,” that will be going in the rulebook or whatever you choose to call it one day. You sell yourself too cheap, and yes this is your fault because you just want to be taken and you’re just too much, too “EXTRA” as the kids say these days. It also takes more muscles to frown, than to smile but you can bear that load, and maybe you will trade it in but why do people insist on stealing; your general manager just wants to take everything, just like your father, just like everyone. You know why that is; because a crown weighs more than a mask; is that yet another rule? Speaking of trades you must make, what about those six impossible things, anything you feel like trading for once today:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 01 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 08 No Fap)
2. I Will Work On The Submissive’s Closet But Buy Nothing (Budget?)
Partial Completion, No New Clothes But Overbudget (Tomb Raider on Friday)
3. I Will Post Two Reviews On My Blog
Failed
4. I Will Spend No More Than Eight Hours In Bed
Failed
5. I Will Spend No More Than Eight Hours On My Laptop
Failed
6. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
Failed

When will you trade failure for success but already you’re doing, yes do you will, as though you could ever be as wise as Master Yoda, or as Ben Franklin said early to bed, and to rise; at least you have that rise part down at the moment. It was 4:25 AM when we started talking which isn’t a big deal considering how often you sell your soul for $10.40 an hour; why not sell your tears for sweat and make every drop of blood worth a damn. How can you, that’s what you’re asking yourself when you can’t even do these six impossible things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 08 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Finish Reading “Galahad Suns”
4. I Will Get Ready For Camp NaNoWriMo
5. I Will Finish My Tomb Raider Review
6. I Will Stay Gainfully Employed

It’s just so damn hard you know, keeping those two cents in your pocket and then be asked a penny for your thoughts when they are worth a dollar; yeah the music helps thank you RayBLK and The Band Perry. Trade But Don’t Betray Yourself, the last rule for today which sounds a bit like don’t sell out, but didn’t I say everyone has a price, somewhere don’t you think.

Just think about it like you’re writing your book, you take people and trade one name for another, why can’t you do the same Will, so Bring On The Trades.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 259 ~Here Comes The Sun~

WillLeave a comment

I’m not tired, to the contrary I’m quite tired, but it’s nothing that sleep can cure… did I just say that; I’ll probably be out all day but then again how is that different from any other day just slipping away? Here Comes The Sun

Saturday, March 17, 2018

Lesson 259 ~Here Comes The Sun~

Hey Lady Lu,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, but if that’s the case, why can’t I sleep, it’s nearly four in the morning and trust me I slept but I woke up at maybe twelve, and I’ve been up ever since, in more ways than one… Reasons I stay awake and yes being horny is one. Yesterday was a real nail-biter, but I got back in touch with “Cherry,” wrote that song for the dog, talked to Lady Sophia and even worked on my novel some at the behest of “Indiana Gone,” I even went to a movie, “Tomb Raider.”

Hell is that not what my bedroom has become, am I not a vampire, with everything I have survived I must have super strength, I don’t see myself in the mirror, I leave in the dark and rush back to the house, I live off watching people bleed. If I’m not a vampire, I would say, zombie, with my phone I don’t need to have a brain, I eat enough to stay animated, and I’m not too picky, I jump at loud noises and usually have to investigate them. How about Frankenstein’s monster, awake only to do my master’s bidding, whoever that is at the time and if I didn’t have that then what’s next?

Is it my depression, do I need another song idea besides Nina Simone or Usher “Confessions Part II.” Fortunately, that’s Wednesday’s problem, and I’m still looking forward to being employed? Now you can see why I would rather be the monster in this scenario because what was that about not being afraid, again I’ve been up and scared to death about my job before. I wish I could say I’m finishing up everything that I need to do today, yesterday, the day before, reminds me of my math class and just writing the problem over again and again, these days I just make lists that keep getting longer everyday Lu.

You’re not a chore more a habit, and I keep asking myself where the time goes when I’m not looking up porn or sleeping as you can guess, I don’t have much of a life, judging by the things we discuss. So like a real therapist you ask me why I’m not sleeping like someone sane this night, and that is just something else I’m going to have to learn.

What have I learned today, when the day hasn’t even started yet, maybe this is just my standard work time, and that’s sad that I’m getting ready for the inevitable conclusion of getting fired but still Here Comes The Sun.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 258 ~Writing My Pink Slip~

WillLeave a comment

You won’t ever eat it all; you know how they say to “eat your words,” at this point I’m better off choking on them, all of them in fact before I honestly do become a starving artist with no day job but I thought this was America. “Write My Pink Slip”

Friday, March 16, 2018

Lesson 258 ~Writing My Pink Slip~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore though I probably should be, there is a reason I’m a novelist and not a comedian, singer, or politician; in writing there’s fiction, with somebody like Trump it becomes fake news. Right, I haven’t been fired yet but didn’t I find myself in the same spot just last month; the story is always about the Second Amendment and how I should live by the Fifth, but no I practice the First enough.

To you Lady Sophia I can say practically anything, but my shame lies in the fact that I’m always hiding and then when honestly I should be, let’s say at work, I have to open my mouth and this will probably be the end of me. It wouldn’t be the first time I died on stage and didn’t I once talk about the death of a comedian. Unfortunately, I’m still the joke to the rest of the world, and that’s if I’m lucky. When it comes to others, I am but one word, “NO,” just say no right, and I do, to think when I was a child I wanted to be a comedian only we know the answer, no.

Songwriting though because trust me you do not want me singing was reawakened just last night thanks to my little boy and “Indiana Gone,” and strangely enough I cracked myself up, Indiana Gone is always laughing, so that doesn’t count. Not an original tune mind you, Lionel Richie’s “Hello,” who is original nowadays… the lyrics though are about the dog and his need for food. Making money songwriting isn’t exactly going to pay the bills, don’t I still owe my grandfather $100 for having some faith in me; speaking of which I’m not looking to become a preacher man either.

So that leaves becoming a novelist, and Indiana Gone ran the guilt trip on me last night but if it doesn’t work for the family and my boss acts like a baby with hurt feelings; that’s my job, why should I buy it from a friend? Here I am trying to get to the movies tonight too and no promises but I may just work on my story, I mean what else am I going to do with myself today.

Imagine if my book was sort of like Fifty Shades of Grey, walk into my day job and guess what I may just be able to do something like that, honestly Write My Pink Slip.

I Will Have No Fear

Hello (You Won’t Ever Eat It All)

I think it’s just around
Your breakfast time
Or maybe lunch, a bag of chips
Some fries in mind
And dinner there’s a pizza
At the door

Hello!
You won’t ever eat it all
I can see it on your plate
And you’ve made a big mistake
Cause I’m not getting any
While my mouth is open wide
So you know just what to do
Why you got so much damn food
But I want to tell you, Daddy
I love you

Scooby’s gone and taken all her treats
But tell “Okay” it helps if she
Would just feed me
And when I can’t eat one more little bite

Hello!
Does that come supersized
There’s so much to go around
With all the breasts and thighs
You could give a leg or two,
And dog food just won’t do
Tell me how I have to beg
She’s lonely, so let her stay
If all this food is for me, I love you

Hello!
You won’t ever eat it all
There’s so much to go around
With all the breasts and thighs
You could give a leg or two
And dog food just won’t do
Tell me how I have to beg
She’s lonely, so let her stay
If all this food is for me, I love you

Lesson 253 ~Nooks, Crannies, And Holes~

WillLeave a comment

Sometimes I want to hide it all away, when I didn’t have a laptop or smartphone, I was at least forced to go out, and now I’m finding more impressive ways to hide, I swear we are almost to the that Mark of The Beast stage. Nooks, Crannies, And Holes.

Sunday, March 11, 2018

Lesson 253 ~Nooks, Crannies, And Holes~

To Will:
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, just Bipolar, full of energy and mildly disappointed at the same time; if anything the boost is from not having to go into the store today; Walmart Grocery Pick-Up and Amazon, how to fight Anxiety 101. The disappointment stems from my last plan of WWWT… What Would Wifey Think, seeing as how I have failed yet again to keep it in my pants but for now let’s take stock of six impossible things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 06 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Failed (Day 01 No Fap)
2. I Will Gift Part Of My Submissive’s Closet
Completed (Not That She Would Try It On Here) Bought Replacements From Amazon
3. I Will Post Two Reviews On My Blog
Partial Completion, Only One Put Up
4. I Will Not Take Any Static At Work
Failed, If I Don’t Know If I Took Static, I Took Static
5. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
Completed
6. I Will Find Something I Want Out Of My Life Honestly
Completed, Sadly I Want To Sex You Up

Now I’m not going to sound like Trump and refuse to accept the problem, and there are just some things that I can’t tell you not to do such as stay off the Internet, that is frankly impossible, isn’t it. What about swearing off porn, how did it happen last night, from Pinterest to looking up high heel girls, to Kristina Rose in Pornstar Punishment (I should get with the times) and then there was that outfit that Niquee wore. Speaking of which how about spending more money on things that are not going to happen, namely those same outfits.

If anything sex, strangely enough, is the one thing that’s clear, your mind Will is nothing but a jumbled mess, but in this one aspect of your life you are up and about, straight ahead, hardcore, and let’s try not to sound like Negan anymore. So you know what’s always not on the list, and avoiding it altogether can’t be done, channeling it has been hit and miss, and imagination of a future lover is a failure. You also have to keep in my “Camp NaNoWriMo” is coming up in April; you will be participating in that but what the Hell are you going to write about, more goals, here are your six impossible things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 01 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Work On The Submissive’s Closet But Buy Nothing (Budget?)
3. I Will Post Two Reviews On My Blog
4. I Will Spend No More Than Eight Hours In Bed
5. I Will Spend No More Than Eight Hours On My Laptop
6. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves

I don’t care what it warrants, but you have to find a life outside of this, today was somewhat Sim-like, should I get back into gaming, of course, “Okay” thinks you should, after all, I did put games on your wishlist. You shouldn’t even be considering a wishlist until these six impossible things are possible, we are all failures in that regard, but maybe you will be the exception, the one that gets it done.

Nooks, crannies, and holes, Will if you want “nooks,” think about that “Black Room” you want to create, choose any “cranny” that doesn’t involve your little head and as far as holes, listen, speak, for god sakes eat. With all your decisions ask WWWT and maybe, just maybe you can think about getting into some well, Nooks, Crannies, And Holes.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 246 ~Eyes On The Prize~

WillLeave a comment

I wish I could say I have something dare I dream almost spiritual to fight for but yeah I’m a man I want a life, dignity, respect, but then again I will settle for so little and then what do you call love “Eyes On The Prize.”

Sunday, March 4, 2018

Lesson 246 ~Eyes On The Prize~

“We’ve got a vision.”
“Eyes on the prize, man. Eyes on the prize.” Road Worrier

To Will:
I Am Not Afraid Anymore; if anything you’re your worse enemy so why should it bother you what anyone else says, I’m the nightmare am I right? Maybe it’s the girl we’ve been thinking about because dreams have been few and far between but this one day girl has kept me and hopefully you out of trouble again.

The things we do for the women we don’t know but seriously, how could I have been so blind, what men will do for women, though for the record I wish I wasn’t so damn respectful to those bitches at work. Of course, you won’t say that this week, you’ll say plenty but how much will you live up to, you honestly must start thinking about your goals in life, which is why you’re up again after the mandatory window shopping isn’t that right? The world is full of beauty, and that is slowly driving you mad or madder but still it’s the things we don’t see; at this rate, you’re matching the Christians believing in something like the six impossible things each week like:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 02 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Failed (Day 06 No Fap)
2. I Will Find My Latest Amazon Order
Completed
3. I Will Get My Bank Account Fixed Up Finally
Completed
4. I Will Not Take Any Guff At Work
Failed
5. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
Partial Completion (Do So Much Better)
6. I Will Work On My NaNoWriMo Novel, Finish Two Whole Chapters
Failed

Didn’t they used to say that with too much “Fapping” you’d go blind, is that the concept that is allowing me to see so clearly now; a good theory because you experience more of the beauty but God how you want to. Lust is the one thing you’ll always be sure of without a doubt because you’re already breaking certain promises to yourself but the girl you’ll someday marry will have expectations and as the song goes “practice what you preach.” Speaking of music, here we go again, those six impossible things, and if you could just do one a day, not so hard right:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 06 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Gift Part Of My Submissive’s Closet
3. I Will Post Two Reviews On My Blog
4. I Will Not Take Any Static At Work
5. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
6. I Will Find Something I Want Out Of My Life Honestly

Isn’t that what these things should be about anyway; if anything we always stare at what we need, and then we give into temptation; more and more Christian-like but I don’t have a chance at Heaven. Another theory why we’re always sleeping, because when you’re asleep the monsters can’t get you, and with no dreams or nightmares it’s the only time I’m not letting myself down, and I don’t have to worry what anybody thinks.

“Don’t close your eyes, don’t close your eyes,
This is your life”
Switchfoot – This Is Your Life

You see it now my friend, you’re a man of words, and I ask that you be a man of action, which would indeed be something impossible and will take longer than a week but that’s a prize. Being a man that can stand on his own two feet, he’s straight ahead in the mirror, so you keep your Eyes On The Prize.

“I see. I see pride! I see power! I see a bad-ass mother who don’t take no crap off of nobody!” – Junior Bevill, Cool Runnings

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 240 ~Get Up And Earn It~

WillLeave a comment

What are you working for, what do you want, what about when they asked the question in school, what would you do if you had a million dollars; I’d ask how I got a million in the first place. “Get Up And Earn It” and how?

Monday, February 26, 2018

Lesson 240 ~Get Up And Earn It~

“You got a dream… You gotta protect it. People can’t do somethin’ themselves, they wanna tell you you can’t do it. If you want somethin’, go get it. Period.” ― The Pursuit of Happyness (2006)

Twenty-First Rule Madam Justice,

I Am Not Afraid Anymore; I may be lazy, then slow, stupid, a great many things, and we don’t have time to go through them all, but the fact of the matter is, I’m here. Now I know that isn’t good enough for some people, I remember telling a girl I’m up and to come over, probably not the best choice of words but that’s where it starts, getting it up, easier said than done.

“Just reach up.” Planet Terror

So what gets it up for me, I’m trying not to think of some stupid sexual innuendo; if anything I’m too tired for that, and I’ll consider that a good thing. The day job doesn’t do it for me but every morning, I get up, I do what I have to, sometimes that means raising your voice, maybe looking someone in the eye, if anything it’s just putting one foot in front of the other. I think therein lies the problem, you have to keep moving but where am I going, who’s race is this, being up and about with no purpose, no life, only the need to feed, how I envy Carl Grimes now.

Who was it that said life is a gift, every day we all have to go out there and earn it, no it’s not a gift, a privilege, an honor. Madam Justice it’s an obligation, a responsibility, and don’t get me wrong I’m not saying that it doesn’t have its good parts here or there. We can enjoy it without a doubt but it sure as hell ain’t free and there are those who don’t earn but merely steal as though that is there purpose. It always comes back to the question, for me what makes me get up, what is it that I want to earn in the end, what does it all mean?

I could talk about being a family man someday, hell I already am, I get up and work, to keep my dog’s belly full, to make sure he has a good life, to keep him with me because he’s getting old in this world. How many times does it come back to somebody else, I love him like pancakes but my dog, promises to friends, all the assholes I know again what is it that gets me up and makes me want to earn anything.

You know something, maybe I have the rule all wrong, should it be get up and learn it… so many years ago and even worse these days; I need time, Get Up And Earn It.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 239 ~Save Room For My~

WillLeave a comment

As the song goes, that’s too much sauce, but I’ll probably be eating a box of chicken all this week, speaking of chicken, the work day is going to be horrible, but there is too much room in my bank account. “Save Room For My”

Sunday, February 25, 2018

Lesson 239 ~Save Room For My~

To Will:
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, this week, high hopes, the bigger they are… just trying to explain why I’m in bed again because I can’t afford to be banging my head on a table, my fists through a wall, and talk about open mouth, insert foot. Is there anything as too much good as well, The Walking Dead returns tonight, you’ll record the Winter Olympic Closing Ceremonies, what about The Elimination Chamber, and you’ll need more closet space with all the submissive shopping.

Is my glass half empty or half full, sometimes you’re just going to want to break the damn glass because the good and the bad are just a mess considerably? There is plenty of room in your bed, too much room in your bank account and even this morning I know you’re already stressing about the coming work week. How about the six impossible things, I’m sorry I let you down a lot this week, but maybe it’s not so bad as it appears hmm:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants, (Day 01 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Failed (Day 02 No Fap)
2. I Will Get Out Of The House
Partial Completion (Store)
3. I Will Get My Bank Account Fixed Up
Partial Completion, I know what I have to spend this week
4. I Will Do Something Nice For Indiana Gone’s Move
Partial Completion, last movie night
5. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
Completed, two full days of backyard fun and cake
6. I Will Work On My NaNoWriMo Novel, Finish One Whole Chapter
Partial Completion, Grammarly is a letdown somewhat

Always looking after my dog, still doing for everyone else that there is no room for me, that’s what you will have to contend with this week and since I didn’t work last week… money can be such a hypocrite, too much room in my account and yet it’s getting tight. I would tell you to keep your head up, but even when you’re down you don’t let a single tear fall because that would be too much when you’re in a room of sharks, no drops, tears, blood, otherwise, and yes that is going to become a rule. Speaking of one more list I almost want to call this, a what won’t you do list but six impossible things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 02 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Find My Latest Amazon Order
3. I Will Get My Bank Account Fixed Up Finally
4. I Will Not Take Any Guff At Work
5. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
6. I Will Work On My NaNoWriMo Novel, Finish Two Whole Chapters

One day you’ll have plenty of room on this list for other things, and maybe Amazon is trying to tell you something. Since I ordered something last week, and it should have been here today, so now it’s your problem. I always leave you with issues don’t I but didn’t I say once, difficulties are for tomorrow, even Dr. King saw the promised land, but from the top of the mountain, he didn’t see everyone waiting for him coming down.

As the song goes I hope you’re “staying hungry” so if anything, save room for the fight, but also for the good things too and *sigh* Save Room For My…

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 232 ~Disease This Thing Called~

WillLeave a comment

I’m just adding to my list of sins, poisons, and diseases, and if I can’t find a cure to such things I might die but I’m still breathing aren’t I, and while they say love is all you need well, my dog is doing his best. Disease This Thing Called

Sunday, February 18, 2018

Lesson 232 ~Disease This Thing Called~

To Will:
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, knowledge and understanding stop fear, well maybe I shouldn’t say stops, no the fear never stops but somewhat redirects it, for example at work, I focus on the location instead of the people. You should hope the people at your day job never hear you talk like that, hell if they listen to you speak ever, like “Pontypool,” it’s a disease this thing called humanity, and you’re infected.

I’m sick, you’re ill, and I don’t know if there’s a cure and while I said I don’t blame the media and often lament that this place is Hell but as the song goes “I’m still breathing, I’m alive.’ Well, you see as I try to start over every week. The past will continue to haunt you though; you will continue to commit my same sins, you will become older and be ashamed, how often do we talk about the poisons in your body. Fear, Guilt, Hate, Lust, Shame, so it looks like you will need several more cures, what else do you have going on these days, let’s look at those impossible things now:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants, (Day 02 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Failed (Day 01 No Fap)
2. I Will Clean Out My Inbox
Failed
3. I Will Get My Bank Account Fixed Up
Failed
4. I Will Figure Out HR
Completed (Hopefully)
5. I Will Focus On The Dog; My Little Boy Is Turning Thirteen The Thirteenth
Partial Completion (A Decent Party)
6. I Will Work On My NaNoWriMo Novel, Finish A Chapter
Failed

With so many failures at this rate I’m resurrecting a dead man, and with that, you can change, like I said before I’m going overboard announcing my death and surprise you haven’t yielded, the fact that you’re up dictates you’re doing something. This week the goal is to redirect, not an uncommon idea, and a story prompt the seven deadly sins making themselves out to be virtues and yes there are seven virtues, but we deal better in crimes don’t you think? A lesson if you must give into lust, work on your Pinterest boards, shop for outfits, to clothe your future submissive, if you must be a glutton then eat real food, try that Walmart Pick-Up. If you’re greedy then make it for more words and time for your impossible things like these six:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants, (Day 01 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Get Out Of The House
3. I Will Get My Bank Account Fixed Up
4. I Will Do Something Nice For Indiana Gone’s Move
5. I Will Be The Friend My Dog Deserves
6. I Will Work On My NaNoWriMo Novel, Finish One Whole Chapter

If you’re going to be a sloth get seven to eight hours nightly and spend more time on the couch and not in bed; watch some of the Olympics as well. Wrath would be better served on Walkers in The Walking Dead No Man’s Land and while you’re out and about if you’re going to envy someone make it real like all these interracial couples you’ve seen, strive for that if anything, I’m just saying.

I want you to be proud of yourself, I want the dog to be proud of you, make the future mother of your children proud, make it damn near a disease because life should be something if not a cure but Disease This Thing Called.

“It’s about redirecting.
Evading.
And actually caring about the welfare of your opponent.
So you have to care about yourself.
You don’t have to believe your life is precious, but that all life is precious.
You have to redirect those thoughts, the history that tells you otherwise.
What we’ve done, we’ve done.
We evade it by moving forward with a code to never do it again.
To make up for it.
To still accept what we were.
To accept everyone.
To protect everyone.
And in doing that, protect yourself.
To create peace.” ― Here’s Not Here 06×04, The Walking Dead

I Will Have No Fear