Tag: Ending

Gospel 337 ~Digital Sets B III~

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What if Braxton isn’t getting these “letters?” He spent fifteen years, eleven months looking after me, and if he wanted a vacation, I get it. Is that what I’m calling it, the ticking clock until we see each other again? I HOPE. Digital Sets B III yep

Thursday, June 3, 2021

Gospel 337 ~Digital Sets B III~

123 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? To think I’ll get lucky and get to come home early. Work sucks and home…

These days the Day Job is worse. Here I am about to insult you like the mom you never got to meet. What I mean is, being here without you was not one of our walks. I wanted to be anywhere else but with the ASM and my general loathing for the company’s staff. Whoa, I should be careful B III. Noted you were usually asleep while I watched the news. So they were talking about some dude bad-mouthing his company. I usually did that when you were here, but now I’m talking to you like this? It’s best not to think about it. Hell, that’s all I ever do anymore is try not to think about it, Little B. Then again, there’s always you.

Would you have me not think about the 123 days you’ve been gone? I can’t help it, and I don’t ever want to forget. You can see that around my neck every day, my own collar in a certain way. So I come back and what, not think about you? With what I’m doing now? Destiny, Disgusting, Discovery, Dirty, and all thanks to my dog. My son, you will always and forever be that, Braxton. You died, and I don’t want to believe that January 31, 2021, was your time. Besides killing you, I had all sorts of disgusting ideas. But I found you B. On my video camera, even more photos of the two of us “happy,” maybe you. Now everything is dirty, tainted.

THEY say I should let you go, but here I am hoping that you’re not watching me. I want you to be happy and do whatever good boys and girls do on the Rainbow Bridge. Meanwhile, your memory is like me keeping a digital watch. I look, and there it goes, I killed you. I keep track of everything. My phone still buzzes three alarms dedicated to seeing you alive and healthy. So I’m crying again and saying Depression, never. Acceptance would be like owning an analog watch. It would require me to think for a bit, or maybe I’m just lazy, which explains why there is so much work to be done. All you are for the world to see. Digital Sets B III

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Gospel 330 ~Just A Minute B~

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At least with the Day Job, every minute nets me something. The minutes I’m wasting with “Stuff and Thangs” isn’t helping. Only all those minutes I had with my son, where did they all go? “Just A Minute B.”

Thursday, May 27, 2021

Gospel 330 ~Just A Minute B~

116 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I understand if you can’t bark right now. I’m pretty busy too, “stuff and thangs.”

It’s still funny… well, not, but you know what I mean. I have this whole empty house, and I turn into a monk. I don’t have to let you outside or wait until I get into the shower. Hell, I’ve started a whole new “project,” but I’m only sending off videos of better days, Braxton. Speaking of which, while I was looking up old material, and yes, I am always working on your album. It’s the reason it’s taking so long. Everywhere I look, there you are. I have videos of your baths and of you working on your pancake impressions in my lap, Braxton. What I wouldn’t give for one more of those. The last time you sat in my lap… again, not really.

The vet gave us time, but you were hurting. You were hurting that Friday, January 29, 2021. What I mean is that day, you chose to climb into my lap. The first time you asked me for something that I couldn’t give. To save you. Dammit, the minutes were wasted. Braxton, I’m not yelling at you, and I’ll never stop saying this is my fault. I know it B III. When you asked for a minute, it was my duty, responsibility, and honor to be there B. But was I?

I remember when you leaned against me as I brushed my teeth and I was scared for you. But no worries B III, I came back from the Day Job, and you were better and pretty hungry too. Popcorn’s good

I swear there aren’t enough hours in the day to love you. You know something; part of the reason I became a monk, ha-ha, is because besides getting to The Rainbow Bridge. I know that’s not how it works, but I’m thinking of all that time gone. I’m torturing myself. You never wanted my pain, and that’s why you didn’t come into the bathroom and lean against my leg again. You had the strength to make it to your water because you wanted me to believe you were okay. Triple B, you hid under the bed because I started freaking out. SIGH it wasn’t fair, Braxton, but I had my moments. 15 Years or 7,884,000 minutes and the month of January. Just A Minute B.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Gospel 323 ~Point A To B~

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A sharp-dressed man takes on new meaning with a needle in my arm. I didn’t get all spiffy when Braxton got his needle. Of course, I still argue whether it was for better or worse. He’s not suffering, and I’m not living so the point. Point A To B

Thursday, May 20, 2021

Gospel 323 ~Point A To B~

109 Days Without B III

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? At least you’re alive, somewhere, my heart. The only reason to put it back together

What about a reason to go take a walk? I was barely able to cut the backyard a week or so ago. Are you still watching over it and me? You spent your life chasing me around only to finally catch me and say goodbye. Of course, who’s fault was that? B, I killed you. The point of a needle, no my friend, the tip of the sword. I’ve told this story to anyone who would listen. Hell, to those that don’t care to. My anger, rage, my wrath towards those who wished me ill. All so I could fulfill the promise to you that I’ll be back B, ok? Sorry if I’m sounding a bit like the Terminator; M Anime sent me something yesterday.

The point of the needle B III that I won’t be facing today as it’s too late. Yeah, it’s 7:00 AM right now, B, so my day is already shot to Hell since I didn’t wake up at 4:00 AM. Before you received your final shot, I should have fought for every single second, Braxton. I didn’t want you to suffer any longer than you had to. So why don’t I get out there and take my medicine as it were? Maybe I’m asking your permission to live, to die, make your choice. The one I took from you because what was the point of your life Triple B hmm? I’m not being mean because you chose to love me despite everything. I love you.

109 Days Later and 15 years 11 months before. How many times did the point of the pen or my finger touch on that? You won’t be forgotten, B III, not as long as I live. The point of the vaccine is living; it’s something to get back to you. Dying is us together always. What is the point of my life right now? It’s like I think at the Day Job when you’re going through Hell, you keep going. Will Smith said something to the tune of if you’re not making someone’s life better, then you’re wasting your time. Braxton, a purpose fulfilled. That might be plagiarism, but that would mean I’m published too. To speak of us, Braxton. That’s Point A To B.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Gospel 316 ~To B A Mom~

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If I wasn’t so damn Depressed… please, God, no, I would say I could explode at any time. Hell, just saying that got me on some list, but I’m talking about the movie “Spontaneous” (2020). Moms might get mad at me, but what else is new. To B A Mom

Thursday, May 13, 2021

Gospel 316 ~To B A Mom~

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? How about how dare I, am I right? But for now, it’s just us two.

I was nowhere near ready to be your father and your Mom… Back when I was only your uncle, but you know how your Mom was. She called you her “real first baby,” yep. Braxton, I texted your grandmommy too. Now I didn’t send her anything, and doesn’t that sound familiar. I didn’t get you a Christmas present but for your sweet sixteen B… What would have been, but I thought we had more time. I’m sure that’s what your furry Mom thought too. Women and life um… Bitches, man

Again how dare I, but as the song goes, “That I’ll be standing right here talking to you.” Well, more like lounging around in bed. It’s been 102 days since the vet “said you sailed a big ship. Said you sailed away.” Well more poetically, like something from my playlist. Anything to cover up the silence B. I can’t remember crying in my Ma’s arms or any woman’s, to be honest. Right now, I can still feel you beside me. You’re lying against my legs, or you’re warm under the covers. There are clean clothes for you to indulge in. You could listen to me bitch to the ladies, Inspector Echo, Dear Future Wife, Dirty Diana. Of course, you replaced the last one, and you never met Dear Future Wife, aka your Mom. The book I’m going to write next NaNoWriMo could be 50,000 words of I’m sorry, remember that? Boys need a Mom, and I’m not being political there.

Last night after watching “Spontaneous” (2020), I felt pretty… Depressed. Today I don’t want to think about Depression, the fourth stage of grief. Watching all the Republican bull afterward didn’t help. I understand why my sister raised you watching Disney. Exploding wouldn’t be so bad, B III. It wasn’t so quick for you, I know, but five days and you were gone. Boom! When Mara was walking away covered in um, such and such blood, that’s how I felt, and I didn’t have my Ma or anybody to hold me. I bitch to you, Braxton. My bannerman, my best friend, my boy. Whoever would have been my wife and your Mom, damn, that’s asking everything.

I’ve shed enough tears for two. To B A Mom

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Gospel 309 ~Catching Our Tales Braxton~

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Braxton was never one to go chasing his TAIL as he was always so busy following me. Like The Road, “Sometimes I TELL the boy old stories of courage and justice,” it was never many of those. “Catching Our Tales Braxton…” maybe the world will know

Thursday, May 6, 2021

Gospel 309 ~Catching Our Tales Braxton~

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Like last week when we spoke around this time, there was no story to tell.

If I do get fired, did, Hell Braxton, do you have any superpowers, supernatural? Have you become all-seeing, which explains why your Daddy is still a monk and a lazy ass? I have been talking to “everyone” today. I don’t know what the next day will bring for me ever. Now it won’t be the story of your resurrection, will it? As Tupac put it, “bury me in pieces cause they fear reincarnation.” My Old Man of all people said that your spirit could be calling out from another furbaby somewhere. I guess A Dog’s Purpose was plenty for me. You’ve seen what I’ve been reading nowadays. I would ask if you ever listened to me before to please avert your eyes and ears B.

You hated my phone as it took my attention away from you. Daddy always had a song for you, so let me sing. “Son, what you don’t understand, my words might never explain. So I am hoping that time will.” When I took a shower, though… Daddy’s stuff and thangs. However, when I wasn’t looking those things up, I’ve been researching what took you away. Oh, I still blame myself, no doubt, and I don’t blame you for wanting to get to the bottom of it. I read in Succubus Lord how the Shades relive their deaths over and over. Not saying you went to Hell, of course, unless Cerberus needed friendship or you’re saving me a spot by the fire. The two of us…

Didn’t I tell you I killed off your character writing for Camp NaNoWriMo? I swear if I write another book for the next one, it will be about us, I promise. Maybe I will include these letters with some poetry, and I’ve gotten into photography books. What do you think? Braxton, I haven’t been telling the happy stories about us these days because I explained to someone. Without your love, the void has been filled with hate, I’m afraid. Rage, I have no problem letting out, but if I had shown more love to you and less wrath to others, I wish? What I wouldn’t give to have you lying on my ass again as I come up with these gems of wisdom Little B.

I’m trying, and one day, hopefully Catching Our Tales Braxton.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Gospel 302 ~What’s The B Ending~

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I had no idea how bad Wednesday was going to be. The last one that was so… heinous, B III cried, but all I could do was pick him up, wrap him under my arm, and nap. It didn’t end there; the week only got worse but for a moment. “What’s The B Ending?”

Thursday, April 29, 2021

Gospel 302 ~What’s The B Ending~

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I don’t really want to talk about my day, and I haven’t even lived it.

I’m sure you don’t want to talk about that Wednesday when I was feeling this way. Time-Travel, Monsieur B. If I had done more of it on January, 27 perhaps I wouldn’t be here April 29 without you. At present, though, it’s April 24, and you know why I’m speaking. As I tell you every AM, I miss you, B III. I still love you like pancakes, but B, I must confess. Shouldn’t I have done that Wednesday? God, I hate Wednesday and Sunday. Not the days’ fault but mine. So my secret… when I say I miss you, I can hear MILF Dos’s voice. If it’s any consolation, you would have liked her yabbos. Now I know you appreciated Indiana Gone’s, without a doubt.

I was thinking about getting her a picture of you or us. Braxton, she misses you, but that would be weird. Always and forever B, so as long as I’m alive, you will be too until we’re together again. I should try cutting off Youtube once in a while, but um, “He Lives In You.” It’s what I tell myself every day, B, and look at me crying again. I don’t know if I’ll ever stop, but I need something to round out the Anger, especially this week. It’s almost like the one I had when you…. Again I’m not even living this week as I write you B Squared. Tell me something, do I deserve to have this pain end? I finished Camp NaNoWriMo…

Hell, if I had published a book already like Cherry? I saw her this morning, do me a favor, B, and see if you can find a cat named Millie. Talk about “stalking,” remembering some English vixen’s cat on the Rainbow Bridge. I’m still a monk and your Daddy. Braxton, was that even funny? So many things ended when you left, and those that began? I want to stay in the same place, you know, but life has its ways. How dare I say that. You wanted to live and now… was I going to say I want to die? I don’t want to move, I know that. The way our story ended like something out of NieR: Automata. Always, Forever, What’s The B Ending?

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Gospel 171 ~High Noon, Hi Will~

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Talk about living on a mattress, or maybe I’m Linus with his blue blanket or more like my hoodies. Trevor Noah stole my style. Anyway, I better be up before January 6, and if that goes well, the 20th. “High Noon, Hi Will” who wakes up to fight?

Saturday, December 19, 2020

Gospel 171 ~High Noon, Hi Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I would still spend every afternoon in bed. I’ve spoken about what gets me up and going. On my Christmas list, I said I wanted an island. Only by all accounts that might mean a gigantic bed. Hell, why did I get up now? My Dæmon’s demands, such as “I’m Hungry, Thirsty, need to go Potty.” I can at least say that makes me better than the Trump Administration. Let’s not get into January 6 or the 20th. I’ve still got my gun, but again I’m not some Trumptard gun nut, well, not yet.

Nobody gets up to die, right? Well, okay, I don’t get how cowboys did it back in the wild west. I mean, yeah, so we have soldiers, police officers, frontline personnel. You’re asking, why am I so political? As I said, lying in bed, watching YouTube and killing the Dead. What about cultists, hmm? I’m on the final mission of Far Cry 5, “Where It All Began.” Since I’ve been delving back into my gamer roots, I’ve only beaten one game on the PS4, Detroit: Become Human. So what did I do Friday night instead of fighting Joseph Seed? Hmm? I’m starting to think I’m incapable of finishing anything. The past few mornings, not counting today, I’ve woken up early to read before falling back asleep after my 15% quota. Not that it’s anything to brag about considering the length of the books I’ve read.

I keep telling myself, I’m trying to learn but are any of these “Christmas” novellas going to help me? The last book I read with any “educational” value was Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. I meant to tell Lady Sophia before I should go back to writing reviews. Only all the books I read are considered “inappropriate.” So that would explain the books I’m writing, and I can’t finish those. If I can survive today, I’ll actually score one more win on Six Impossible Things. Yet again, I was on my belly in bed crawling like some slug. As my motivations say, you did not wake up to be mediocre. I was supposed to have so much more accomplished by now. It’s like NaNoWriMo but with my whole life. I finish 50’000 words, and then what. Uh, nothing.

Dumb Ways To Die… waking up. High Noon, Hi Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 009 ~Willie That’s Your Story~

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Didn’t I say something about writing real-life last week? It is starting to catch up to my fictional world, and even eclipse it. I guess that’s why today I finally came up with a plot, and still, I have to ask? Willie That’s Your Story

Friday, July 10, 2020

Gospel 009 ~Willie That’s Your Story~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that’s because I write good stories… Yeah, I couldn’t say that with a straight face. One more reason to love the plague era we’re in. Speaking of which, I should get this story out of my mind. Don’t worry, it’s true. I talked about this yesterday, a man wanting to cut the lawn and earning TRUST. As for today, I faced my “father.” His car went dead. A tale of TERROR, if anything. If you’re looking for something with a TERRIFIC ending. My granddaddy is alive, so is my younger sister after getting the Coronavirus.

Now don’t get on me about not using the term “Happy Ending.” Hell, today I had to get up from Mariah Mallard, a.k.a. Momokun’s massive Yabbos. I wonder which is more offensive, either wanting to FAP to her and who doesn’t? Pretending that her Yabbos are Cherry’s. Yeah again, covering her face and mouthing Cherry’s name. How about the fact that I want to put them both in the novel I should be writing? The real-life adventures of Will are either scary or dull as everything. To this day, I still say, bring on the zombies already. While I was with my father, I was thinking I would end up another statistic. Say, Waiting While Black in front of a gas station. Anyway, so besides hearing my father’s stories, what about the one that’s waiting.

“For A Fine, Cherry Spread,” and yes Lady Sophia, that is a working title. I finally came up with a theme, a concept, a plot, whatever. Father Win William Bridgman is still mourning the loss of Cherry and her Mum. He and his son are at odds over how he tried to protect Cherry, whose a murderess of several young girls. Having been “banished” from The Moondust. Father Bridgman takes his fleshly pleasures from Amia Jocelyn Everhart (MILF Dos). Bastian Barks Bennett’s wife, a.k.a. Evie Gabriela Bennett (Carrie Cummings) wants to repair her family. Amia hatchets a plot to inform Evie of her Father-In-Law’s businesses. Threatening to go to the police. Father Bridgman kidnaps her, further increasing the divide of father and son. Cherry’s memories will serve as evidence through diary entries, videos, and more.

I’m still messing up the story though both fiction and reality when it comes to life. With my lifestyle and still, Willie That’s Your Story.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 002 ~Plot Not Playboy Will~

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I talked about repeating myself, blah, blah PORN, *cue Charlie Brown adults* wah, wah, which is what I might as well be writing instead of the real-life adventures of a not so young Will. Plot Not Playboy Will.

Friday, July 3, 2020

Gospel 002 ~Plot Not Playboy Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but what am I doing with my primary two sources of income. Writing and women, no, I’m afraid I’m still stuck with the Day Job. Again no, but the story of my life isn’t getting any better and who’s at fault. I found my antagonist, yep.

He’s the guy who only today, got a new pair of boots and what about food? Remind me never to order from East Buffet again. I still miss the Red Lantern. East Buffet’s curry chicken is neither spicy nor overall appetizing. Somehow they got three stars from me, and I don’t have the time to write yet another review. Hell, I don’t have the time to finish the one I’ve been promising from the Logs to now the Gospels. The word is growing on me, but what isn’t moving is my new novel. It’s day three, and I’m already falling behind with Chapter Two. At least I can say I did a good deed for someone else rather than becoming the villain. I returned a lost phone, but was that by the goodness of my heart? As always, I was guided by FEAR, of my own loss and of getting caught thieving or even hacking.

Why steal when I’m sitting on $1,335.00 from saving up half the year? If I’m hacking anything, it would be between some girl’s… yeah, today ain’t Thursday. It’s so HARD, though… NO FAP. I still miss MILF Dos, I can’t deny that. I thought about reaching out to Cherry, but I reined that in. I haven’t quit cold turkey though considering Nagoonimation, which was only $5.00 but is worth far more. Final Fantasy VII has been a driving force and not because of the story. I have never played it.

So what about Too Late and For A Fine Cherry Spread? Lady Sophia, I have to make it through the end of the week. Seven days and what, my biggest streak lately was thirty, and so far, I’ve barely made it one day. Seeing as how this is a new year though I am trying, I swear it. Even as I say this, though, where am I? You guessed it, downloading Nagoonimation’s animations. I always need to know the end of a story, right? Where to begin though Lady Sophia.

I’m only good at finishing um, Plot Not Playboy Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 361 ~Told By A Willie~

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It’s a tale told by an idiot or will be in about five days. Three years of writing this blog, with around 400 words each day, SIGH. What do I have left to say other than being a broken record player? Told By A Willie, ha

Friday, June 26, 2020

Log 361 ~Told By A Willie~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but that would mean I could stop listening to my Willy one day. You know, my Wang, my monster, and Pedro. All my life, it seems I’ve been listening to one Willie or another. The one in my pants, my fears, and of course, my “father.”

Let’s start with my favorite and my worst. It should be said that I’m not a racist, and I’m not only saying that being a Black “Man” in the deep south. Wang and Pedro, for example. I’m not looking up Wang, I looked up Willie once today, and Pedro reminds me of Varsity Blues. Black Lives Matter, but what was I doing with mine last night? An excuse, but “something” happened and between three different women. Mia Khalifa in Graduating Summa Cum Loud, Final Fantasy VII Remake – Hot Tifa Lockhart – Part 48 and my current “obsession.” Hell Lady Sophia, I rubbed one out, so I’m not telling a story of being clean. Right now, my NO FAP story is only eleven hours. What am I going to do when Camp NaNoWriMo rolls around in July?

Oh yeah, that’s one more thing I’m scared of. Besides not keeping it in my pants, I’ve told you about my shoe/feet problem. So that means I’m going to have to get off my ass and go shopping at some point today. Now that explains why I’m talking to you right now. I’m scared of walking into the gas station with a mask on, so yeah, I had to work that out. I still haven’t called about a haircut. As always, I’m worried about My Dæmon. How many times do I have to carry him downstairs? The spam links keep coming, but as far as I know, all is well. Lady Sophia, that’s one of my greatest fears. I will be sitting right here again next year, writing in my bed. Five more days and I will have been telling my story for three years.

A tale told by an idiot if my father had his say. Yeah, I’m not allowing him on my Facebook, and did I mention I’m still blocked by MILF Dos. The fear of losing her has come and gone. I go back and forth between sending more money, trying again, a story without any end.

Why do I deserve an ending, Told By A Willie?

I Will Have No Fear