Tag: Fear

Log 003 ~Bang The Will Slowly~

WillLeave a comment

I can’t stop, and I do mean writing my novel ha, fortunately, I got 4,600 words down before all the fireworks, and I left off with a sex scene in a bombed out city so thank you July 4th fireworks. “Bang The Will Slowly.”

Thursday, July 4, 2019

Log 003 ~Bang The Will Slowly~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but I wouldn’t waste any of that on FIREWORKS. Happy Independence Day except for my addiction. As Negan would put it, “Today was a productive damn day.” Four thousand six hundred words added to my nameless novel. Only I didn’t look at porn, though I did find a site called “Oldje.” No, I didn’t go to it but damn Pinterest as always, I broke my streak because of girls like Audrey. Let’s be real though, after my nap; it was an Oldje and cosplay Wendy.

You remember the fast food joint from Saint’s Row, “Freckle Bitch’s? That’s what the cosplay girl made me think of and also Court With Confidence. When you’re writing a story, it’s somewhat unbelievable what you come up with sometimes. Limitless somehow when you’re pulling all these references from everywhere. It can be scary considering I cut off a man’s dick because he didn’t want to save his wife. How about and here’s an important plot point a man doesn’t want to get rough with his wife. It turns out the executioner’s wife is a robot, and he doesn’t want her to know. Of course, he went all out on one of his victims, leaving her in a pool of cum. The tattoo artist is also in love with robotic Audrey.

I don’t know what it is about some girls but for now other than gangbangs and executions the sex is pretty tame. Four chapters in; what am I waiting for you ask? Well, I set my alarm for something, but it turns out there was no need. My motivations say you can’t be patient for the things you want, which brings me back to how much I got done today. Yes, in bed but I’m taking the win. With today I’m at 9,800 which is nice heading into 50,000, I could even skip a day. No I won’t go giving myself ideas, I need those for, my story filled sex romp. If I weren’t so tired I would be looking up all those sites I’m going to beat out one day. What’s that about Rome not being built in a day. Still, they were fantastic for an orgy. They borrowed from the Greeks and aren’t I with my tools of the gods. If only I could keep mine in the toolbox; Bang The Will Slowly.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 002 ~Other Than Writing Will~

WillLeave a comment

Always more worries and chief amongst them this month will be writing, Camp NaNoWriMo having started up again and I’m already five thousand words in but what about everything else. Other Than Writing Will.

Wednesday, July 3, 2019

Log 002 ~Other Than Writing Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I Am A Millionaire right now and also The Tenth Man. If that sounds familiar, it’s Rule 262 Remember, Be The 10th Man. Now all my motivations are contrary to this rule. From fear, worry, regret, etc. The Tenth Man is preparation for some failure, worst-case scenario. Some are waiting for that other shoe to drop, but I put one foot in front of the other. That’s why I’m so disappointed in myself today. It’s only day two of this new series, and I’m fucking up (LANGUAGE).

Yes as always I’m worried about my new nameless novel. Don’t get me wrong, another 1,700 words down, so I’m keeping up with Camp NaNoWriMo. You check the time though, and where did it go; porn I can no longer deny. Now I did strike up a conversation with the pretty girl at work. Seems right that when I last left my novel, they were about to cut a man’s dick off. The Pillar and the stones as they would say in Game Of Thrones, of course, I haven’t had time for anything. My point is I’m “trying” not to worry about my novel, and so I create more things that cause more upset. What about my email, I still remember the days of AOL and being excited? Nowadays I have sixty and think no big deal as long as I’m not getting myself hacked.

B III continues to thrive though Dad is always working in one way or another. Even in my dreams, I thought something happened to Cherry, and when I woke up, she’s okay. Still didn’t stop me from checking Twitter and didn’t I say I know way too many people? At least tomorrow I’ll have one thing less to do, and that’s pretty sad considering. Tomorrow is going to be a huge chunk of writing and even now well here we go. What about wrestling which I fell asleep on two nights in a row. Everything is taking a backseat to Camp NaNoWriMo. Can I even tell you what my story is about, I’m sure I have it written down somewhere? Same shit (LANGUAGE) different year with the blog. My problem is I’m not focusing on being #1 and before I forget, July 4th, BBQ maybe?

My Olds or my cooking ability ha? I’m sorry I fail once to “succeed” somewhere well Other Than Writing Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 001 ~A Will Date Night~

WillLeave a comment

First off Happy Anniversary to me, two years of blog posts, every single day and starting Camp NaNoWriMo, so if you ask me why I don’t have a girl, as the song goes Everyday, I’m Hustling and even if I had one. “A Will Date Night”

Tuesday, July 2, 2019

Log 001 ~A Will Date Night~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Millionaire right now so our anniversary should be something even more epic. Is it cute or all kinds of creepy that I put more thought into our wedding day that our first date? Star Wars, The Hunger Games, Divergent, The Walking Dead, Article 5 I could continue. My movie list or reading list. No surprise now that I’m a bit of a homebody, even with multiple millionaire dollar homes. What was it I said about not building my bedroom on each of my business properties. You know, I will.

Anyway, we’re going out tonight and not to the movies, a museum, or anywhere muted. For someone who loves music, it’s something about concerts or places with live music that irks me. Restaurants, well I’m still mourning the loss of Seafood & Chicken Box, but there is always the Red Lantern. I’ve said often enough if I ever mention caviar go ahead and shoot me, please. I’m not much for some drinks as my friends will tell you, yet we have full wine cellars. My most romantic destinations are always in books. A vacation on our anniversary is one thing but what about other days.

People say you want to know how boring you are, let them ask about your hobbies. Again I retreat to the quiet places, libraries, book stores, a walk through the woods. There we go with that creepy factor now. I want to show you off, not like a trophy or anything but your what inspires me always. A night beneath the stars sounds a tad better than a night surrounded by them. We have a full theater room, but I only want to sit on the couch and watch something. Every Saturday and this is a constant, but I want to lie in bed with you and listen to nuclear pop for three hours. I want private hotel rooms with room service. Video Games but wait what’s my age again and nothing to do with sports titles. Where did I find you babydoll, or was it the other way around?

First dance at the wedding or did we have a lightsaber duel, both equally hilarious coming from me right? Karaoke or a poetry reading, again my attempts at humor. Still, it is our anniversary, and every day I love you more. Oh, Nothing on a boat, A Will Date Night.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 365 ~You Gain Respect Through Actions~

WillLeave a comment

Two years of blogging every single day, how’s that for commitment, but most of the things I write and the things I do on the daily; I know honestly I don’t have many people’s respect for sure. You Gain Respect Through Actions

Monday, July 1, 2019

Episode 365 ~You Gain Respect Through Actions~

Ninety-First Rule Madam Justice

I AM a Millionaire right now, and I have two years of blogging in the bag, so congratulations are in order. Today is also day damn one of Camp NaNoWriMo, and I have 1700 words down so far. I’m not keeping all of my commitments, but I have had more wins than losses, that’s enough. I didn’t go off on people at the Day Job. Somehow or another, I helped someone. Now while I hate the state of politics, it did help me talk to a “pretty” girl. I’m more into boobs, but butts are a close second Madam Justice.

Did I lose your respect, talk politics you’re right but getting in someone’s pants? Being real dear Madam Justice, I can’t say most of my actions are respectable. I’m still not waking up on time; I’m late with the writing and the reading. The thing is I said I would start NaNoWriMo and I got that done, and a woman doesn’t take me for an idiot. Well, one because if you knew the things I’ve been thinking about MILF Dos lately? Am I lying to Brainbuddy as well? It’s not like I’m going to XVideos, Pornhub, or Motherless. I have seen more boobs than I care to admit to and hell, I’m writing erotica again what did you expect. If anything, I want to gain credibility with myself and with my last story and this one? I AM committed to writing you know Madam Justice.

Nobody at the Day Job respects me, but I’m not giving them any reason to either. The problem is the actions; I don’t want to be the hardest worker in the room at the Day Job. Now I do want to be a hell of a writer and counting the blog I write four books a year. It could be as I said I want to respect myself. I would even say I want B III to see me as somebody. For now, I’m only a tired meanie who is not looking up actual porn. How about the fact that the people I surround myself with, well it wouldn’t mean anything if I had their respect. The businesses I dream of running aren’t what they call respectable. My actions though, trusting myself. Working as I did today, every second, I resist temptation. I know Madam Justice; I have to sigh You Gain Respect Through Actions.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 361 ~Will Of The Moment~

WillLeave a comment

The first days I realized a girl could make me feel anything but fear and now as an “adult” *snickers* hell what kind of man “should” will I be and anybody that says “be yourself” deserves a spanking. Will Of The Moment

Thursday, June 27, 2019

Episode 361 ~Will Of The Moment~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but an epiphany can come cheap. Now I know what you’re thinking, that one moment, my senior year of high school. To think that had nothing to do with sex. The second, of course, has everything to do with it, feeling, control, and my wisdom.

I’m a dominant, a sadist, and a rich man. Even with all that, I am still afraid. So what’s wrong with one moment of freedom? Someone said that not all people use their freedom responsibly. My philosophy remains you can do what you want as long as you don’t harm others. I still think of when my “big sister” told me you don’t build a strip club next to a school. True enough, but people would rather have my fear of their fear. Think “Prayers For Bobby” or “Me Before You.” I must be unhappy for others to be happy. What makes me happy is sex, but that’s not allowed. With all the monsters roaming the Earth I’m looked at as one. My novels, studies, these words Dirty Diana give but a moment of freedom. The thing is one can become obsessed, a junkie even.

“Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.”
Oscar Wilde

Doesn’t sound sexy I know, I’m still on Brainbuddy. Now, as it says above, sex is about power, and above all else, that’s what I want. Power without sex; well, let’s skip the philosophical, political, painstaking research. “Deliciae Dolor” The Pleasure of Pain in the book or Delight Pain by Google Translate. My pleasure comes from the pain of others. Again I reiterate the fact that I’m versed in “Safe, Sane, Consensual” (SSC). Also, “Risk-aware consensual kink” (RACK). What I’m getting at is what gets me off the fastest, not that I’m one for leaving a woman wanting. The difference between The Handmaid’s Tale and Whitney Wright in Angelic Bride To Anal Angel. (I didn’t watch any of it). I guess that doesn’t make me any different than most people ha.

My fetishes make me fearless, except trying to explain them. The acts give me a type of control in lives that I never see in mine. The wisdom, if you only knew Dirty Diana. Most supervillains are certified geniuses. Dennis Hof ran gas stations before brothels and Jimmy Stephens well he knows the law well. I only want to forget everything, but I still deny myself Will Of The Moment.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 360 ~Why Worry? Write Will~

WillLeave a comment

Last week I asked what I was I thinking, but at this point, that word should be synonymous what am I “worrying” about, movie tickets, Pinterest boards, my arsenal and more. Why Worry? Write Will.

Wednesday, June 26, 2019

Episode 360 ~Why Worry? Write Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I Am A Millionaire right now, so I haven’t bothered worrying about Nevada in a while. No negative vibes there but I have plenty to go around. I’m worried I might have wasted my life being day 360 and all. Without a doubt, I know I’m a writer because I made these stories up in a day.

I thought I lost my pocket knife today. Now I won’t tell you where but it would be serious trouble. There I was feeling around in my pocket and no blade. Could it be in a chair, the parking lot, my car, the house? Would I be on camera; my fingerprints are all over it, Inspector Echo. It turns out; it was under a paper towel here at the house. Now, why would I go all crazy over a pocket knife? Is it because I’m me or what everybody thinks about me by now? Head, shoulders, knees, and toes, becomes phone, wallet, keys, and knife? Life comes down to the smallest things, last week that was B III. I still hate the vet for thinking I would harm my son. Hell, whenever I leave the house, I pray for Triple B’s safety, but there is so much more to see.

109 Sections and counting; that’s around 327 Words? I’ve seen trouble for more and less Inspector Echo. I’m at the Day Job thinking that at any second the cops are going to burst in and congratulations will be in order. Now isn’t that another way to look at being booked? I’ve said some sexist, stupid, downright SKEEVY things about women. I’m not President Trump though or any other Republican. Only as the song goes “if you got the inclination, I have got the crime.” More often than not, the end of the world has come with a button press. At least I have seen that every so often but I’m still here. Worry, Regret, Fear, I gotta enemies, gotta lot of enemies to keep up the quotes. The truth is though I will always be the worse for sure Echo.

What about my fucked up free tickets (LANGUAGE)? Yes, it’s my fault, and now I have to deal with Office Depot sending my order to the wrong store. I apologize for my lack of positive energy. Killing myself slowly with worries while I ask once more, Why Worry? Write Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 359 ~Will Visits Olive Garden~

WillLeave a comment

I’ve never eaten at Olive Garden, I liked The Shrimp & Chicken Box, but I always ate at home, and I realize I still sound like that boy eating by himself I the cafeteria but if I had the money, the power, and the woman. Will Visits Olive Garden.

Tuesday, June 25, 2019

Episode 359 ~Will Visits Olive Garden~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Millionaire right now. One more reason I “work” so hard, I want my Soup, Salad, and Breadsticks at home. There is also the fact that B III hates car rides. On the other hand, Daddy needs some downtime. When he was sick, he didn’t even give me time to myself in the bathroom. I do better when I’m sick; you’ll never hear me ask you to make me a sandwich. I do like soup though, chicken noodle or steak and potato from Campbell’s. Campbell’s Chunky Grilled Chicken & Sausage Gumbo is what I call elegant dining. Add in shrimp and ghost pepper sauce yum. I’ve said before if I ever mention caviar I’m either a hostage or crazy. The different kinds of sick sigh. It could be I want an excuse to stay in bed with you another day.

Speaking of green, I hope I’ll never be so sick again. Would you like to see me cook some? I haven’t killed anybody, yet; now though one woman ran away, another got sour punch candy in her eyes (not my fault). I like Sprite, not Sierra Mist; Sprite always settles my stomach. Yes, I can say you give me butterflies, but here we are still. The jobs I have now aren’t making me physically ill on the daily. I also built them from the ground up. There’s no need to hide or to worry. If you could only imagine, in some way how long it took to be comfortable at the movies, the library, the pool? More reasons I built them in my house. Creepy you think I’m trying to keep you from the world. Far from it, I’m the Beast, and you’re my Beauty, wow does that make me a PRINCE somehow, my love?

My love for you is purer than my anger or fear. With everything I have do you know I’ve never had Olive Garden Breadsticks? I could always have them delivered, and I won’t ask, would you rather stay in tonight? How I hate asking for anything but being sick, well that’s a good excuse. I’m always open to learning, growing, evolving, but when everybody looks at you like you’re STUPID? I love you because you don’t, again one of many reasons. My son is cute, baby girl you are beautiful, our other children are happy. So nobody notices at all that Will Visits Olive Garden.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 358 ~Make It Worth Fighting For~

WillLeave a comment

It’s my father’s birthday today, the man did threaten a teacher for me once before, went off on a judge too, but all Masters protect their slaves, my life is valuable to those that can use me, so I never fight for myself. “Make It Worth Fighting For”

Monday, June 24, 2019

Episode 358 ~Make It Worth Fighting For~

Ninetieth Rule Madam Justice

I AM a Millionaire right now; money is worth fighting for Madam Justice. Every day I sound more and more like a Republican, how’s that for thinking positive. What about when I fought to do that story with my adopted Big Sister? Hell, does that mean my words are worth the struggle? I am helping my son get well and sitting on this loveseat the past few hours. What about not quitting my Day Job today or breaths coming in and out of my body.

The fact that I have The Alamo Fund or did proves this life isn’t worth shit (LANGUAGE). I know I must remain positive, but with my age, that’s a lot to surmount. If anything, I want to break out into a rousing addition of a “Girl Worth Fighting For.” Thanks to Disney but I can’t do this because of a girl. To me, it’s like rehab, you know, your family, your friends, your fuck buddies (CAREFUL). The truth is that if you don’t help yourself first; if you treat your life as expendable. How can you be expected to help anybody else or make amends? Like with my Six Impossible Things, if I can’t be a man, how can I be a father for my son? My motivations say that your WHY can’t be because of you. Another adds you must feel your cup up first to thrive at all.

Trickle Down theory, but I give so much I treat others before myself. It’s like I don’t deserve anything, like wanting to die so I won’t be in the way. Hell, it would beat today, how humiliated I was at work. Could you imagine my life if I fought as hard for me as I fight for others? B III had me on the phone, ready to punch-out the Vet, beating back sleep. I defied my Olds because I wanted to write. Still, when it comes to my right to exist? Will Smith says if you’re not helping you’re wasting your time. Again others say give to yourself first. So if I were to choose today, fuck everybody else (COME ON REALLY) I want what’s mine. The good news is I have some time to think about it at least. Then we’ll see what happens won’t we dear Madam Justice.

I’m not June; I’m getting out of Gilead. My life, Make It Worth Fighting For

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 354 ~Worse Names Than Will~

WillLeave a comment

I learned from a very young age that I was better seen and not heard. I would do my Olds one better, I keep quiet, and I never go out. Not that the cops won’t show up whether I was suicidal or alternative schooling. “Worse Names Than Will.”

Thursday, June 20, 2019

Episode 354 ~Worse Names Than Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Millionaire right now. Should I say that it’s Willie who has all the money? My debit card says, Willie. My paycheck is much the same. Hell, even my “passive” or “parental” income is, Willie. I’m Jr, and he’s Sr, and should I be embarrassed? Dirty Diana, I am worse things than a freeloader on my best day. I’ve said it time after time the worst things you can call me are STUPID or RETARDED. It’s one of the reasons I hate the people at my Day Job so much. So here I am an aspiring brothel owner, pimping.

You should know I respect Sex Workers, Pornstars, Models both Erotic and otherwise. With that, I’ve never stepped foot in a brothel, not yet. I couldn’t tell you the plot of any, let’s say “Full Length” porno to save my life. Hentai maybe and a scene here or there of real sex. The thing is Dirty Diana, as a dominant, I perform scenes, I have themes, I’m an artist. Most adult entertainment doesn’t involve all that but the language? I know I try to play Captain America most days because I find swearing tawdry and crass. There is a time for it Dirty Diana. In the bedroom or performing any scene, communication and colorful language are paramount. I was never one to hurt feelings or tell lies. How I hate those people, who say hurtful things and then “Just Kidding.”

That’s the reason trust and understanding are essential. There’s this porn collection called “Exploited College Girls.” The girls are beautiful, the concept sound, but you know what gets me? “You’re My Little Whore, Say It.” “I’m Your Little Whore.” I respect those girls and their work; they are amazing. The thing is I can separate the actress from the person. Take Sabrina Nichole; if there is a God, he might have started with her beauty. Anyway wanting to see her coming doesn’t mean I think she’s only some slut. How about TTB, everyone hated the owner. Make no mistake guys got off to those girls; some moved to real porn. The thing is they got paid, and nobody hurt them. I know some girls that wear words like “slut,” “whore,” or “cunt” as a badge of honor or a word.

Only words get me into trouble, but I understand there are Worse Names Than Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 353 ~Will Of It All~

WillLeave a comment

“What are you thinking” are scary words these days but I’m still keeping my mouth shut at work because if I didn’t, hell it would be worst than my Pinterest titles and those are making my head hurt. “Will Of It All”

Wednesday, June 19, 2019

Episode 353 ~Will Of It All~

Forgive Me Echo,
I Am A Millionaire right now because I can afford a maid. Hell topless maids, a whole damn cleaning service (Language). I’m getting lazy about that too but another day. Didn’t I mention I haven’t talked to “Okay” in forever? One more woman I scared off but again some other time. While I’m busy committing crimes that most Republicans applaud, my head hurts. Do you know the saying, heavy the head that wears the crown? What about, the world on my shoulders? Did the angel and devil gain some weight these days?

Too many questions and since I broke NO FAP, both heads have been struggling. Again my three major sins so let’s start with LUST. Over eighty-five sections in one Pinterest board and the names are getting lame. How many dirty words can you rhyme with J or K I ask? Even if I come up with a good one, I lack the guts to write it down. I should go back to watching porn, so I believe. All the “allowances” I give myself; it’s not XVideos, Pornhub, and how I miss Motherless. Sigh and tonight is freebie night too. What I don’t miss is people but again LUST, GREED, and SLOTH. It hasn’t stopped me from imagining MILF Dos though. When’s the last time, I saw breasts “on purpose?” The world is knocking me down lower Inspector Echo without a doubt.

I don’t miss the Alamo Fund not being across from me. It’s sitting in the bank and how I want so much more money. My motivations, I have that money, but it doesn’t stop me from wanting everything. My GREED goes hand and hand with my LUST. What about my dreams of power? How my ANGER kicks in, and everything is saying stay positive? Okay B III is doing better and won’t require a vet but more meds. Tomorrow I find out how much I made at the Day Job. I haven’t worked on my novel today. There’s always food, but I’m a starving artist.

More so a sleepy one to be honest. My ANGER had me ready to attack the world. Only a Hot Pocket and an unmade bed, so SLOTH, I’m here now though, and there is so much to do Inspector. As always though I need to apologize for betraying myself. Weight Of It All Inspector Echo, Will Of It All.

I Will Have No Fear