Tag: Honesty

Log 281 ~Will’s Feat Of Love~

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I would die before I let anyone harm my furry son. Now when I have a bigger family of my own well, I’m already making preparations, I’ve got the house, and I’m getting weapons as they say “all’s fair in love and war.” “Will’s Feat Of Love.”

Tuesday, April 7, 2020

Log 281 ~Will’s Feat Of Love~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I still wouldn’t buy one of those bubble balls for myself. I always remember the distance I traveled, the feet that came after, and the fear of defeat. Love and war as they say. I will say I believe more in the former because the latter would mean to be without you. Now I could go all Final Fantasy X Chappu on you. Yeah, I haven’t been playing many video games in our isolation. I have my other ladylove in life, writing. Only one more way to protect you, Babygirl.

“Chappu also said to me… That being with your girl is good… But keeping Sin far away from her is better.”

Luzzu, Final Fantasy X

For a few days, all I’ve wanted to say is, well, like when we first met. I Want to Hold Your Hand.” Instead, I’m Ethan Hawke, a.k.a. James Sandin from The Purge (2013). I’m checking out all the arsenal, adding on. The weight of such things, the meaning still freaks me out. Then there’s the wait, again I’m reminded of our first date. You won’t like me saying this, but I was sick, stressed out, and you know, silent. The hallmark of our marriage because I’m a hard man to know. Am I scared of dying? Sadly, the answer is still no. But the idea of us never being close, though? How much closer can we get? I see the signs everywhere now. Stay 6 feet apart all the time, and yes, I’m still thinking about that lady yelling at me the other day. There was also Cherry talking about it. What about the businesses that I run every day?

Loving me is like something out of Containment. You’re the Katie to my Jake, and the shower curtain separates us. You’re the Teresa to my Xander, and I want to do right by you, but there’s everything, sickness, other people, your mother. Hmm, that’s a marriage stereotype somehow. I’m Lex, you’re Jana, and I want to keep everything from falling apart. You can see why I love paws so much. Our furry son hates anyone touching them, but still, I walk him, lift him, let him lay wherever. Now I’m being honest, but here’s a secret Love… feet freak me out. Don’t ask me what it is, but I avoid them. It could be seeing the movie Boomerang, I would have been eight when it came out ha. Anyway, living For The Love Of You always. Will’s Feat Of Love.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 280 ~Time Is A Cruel Bastard~

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What time is it? I swore I lost my watch yesterday, so I spent $15.00 buying a new one, and what was hiding under my seat? What I even left the house for? Woke up this mornin’, got yourself a gun. “Time Is A Cruel Bastard” and what it’s making me… hm

Monday, April 6, 2020

Log 280 ~Time Is A Cruel Bastard~

Hundred And Thirty-First Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I don’t have to go out. Well, at least until; my would you look at the time. As always, Madam Justice, like Professor Hulk, “Time Travel!” “Time, time, time, see what’s become of me,” as the song goes. In all these years, even minute to minute, I’m changing, rearranging, and estranging the man I am. From the one I want to be or have to, I’m not sure. So if you wouldn’t call me a bastard, then what am I.

A gun owner for starters. Now I started to say something, but I signed paperwork yesterday. You know how Cherry has me afraid someone is reading this currently. Anyway yeah, I stood in line for hours to as the song goes, “Woke up this mornin’ Got yourself a gun.” I’m a pervert, but that’s always been the truth. Whitney Wright was talking about “FREE PORN’ on Brazzers, so of course, I’m in. Minutes after, I looked up one of her films first, “Wh*re Tornado.” Before you get mad, you should consider what I usually look up as time goes by. It gets darker, more depraved, or even disgusting. I feel sick, but not because of that. No, it’s not the Coronavirus (COVID-19) either. It’s the feeling I got when I first picked up my gun. I want my zombies Madam Justice. Only this is the first time I’ve held a tool that has but one encompassing purpose in this world.

I’m a father, but what have I done for My Dæmon lately? He has his food, his meds, comfy spots, but in all this time, I’m still not the Dad I should be for him. Case and point I should have talked to you earlier and be playing with him now. One more morning of cutting off my alarm. How about the fact that I’m still alone? The two women I talked to yesterday and I’m upset about the one that stopped me at the door to the store. Madam Justice, that interaction will haunt me for the next week. I’m a writer, and then I’m not because; how many words did I write yesterday. I didn’t even reach the quota because of all the lines I was standing in because instead of life, what?

Munitions, masks, my monster in my pants, how I know, Time Is A Cruel Bastard.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 279 ~Willing Delights, Willing Ends~

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Shakespeare wrote about violent delights, have violent ends, and I know all about words being trouble. I’ll also try not to add any more hot actresses to my novel, looking at you, Dolores. Today is about survival, Willing Delights, Willing Ends.

Sunday, April 5, 2020

Log 279 ~Willing Delights, Willing Ends~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now but does money still have any value. Seeing it’s Friday at the moment, it always does, though in truth, I prefer words. I can’t tell you if I’m lying or not at present, but I’ll assume you’re ahead with Camp NaNoWriMo. Unlike Trump, I’ll own this failure. I should be doing 5000 words a day, of course. Wednesday, it was only around 3,300, yesterday barely 2000. I’m willing to start and ready to end, but it’s all that “work” in-between, you know.

When it’s your turn, well Sunday, how many words will you have and how many excuses? I don’t mean to dump all this stuff on you like you’re Lady Sophia. If I were to focus on today, it would be JSS “Just Survive Somehow.” That’s something for you to be excited about, the last episode of The Walking Dead. Sooner or later, THEY will get this Coronavirus (COVID-19) situation handled. You know how I talk to myself… case and point, but who are THEY these days. For some reason, I still trust my Olds, but I hate half of them. I love my country but hate the STUPIDS in charge. Yes, that word was warranted, given the current state of things. Still, for you, I want the best start, something that brings you joy. Funny I know, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 006 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Not Receiving Any Warnings From Norton About Security
    1/2 Completed, Only One Email Alert
  6. I AM Finishing Editing My Latest Novella “The Eve of a Cherry
    Failed

I’m hoping for one if only the one but as I speak it’s day six, and I nearly broke again. You should have seen me yesterday besides not trying to think about Dirty Diana. There’s the fact that I added Eileen Kelly and Angie Varona to The Eve of A Cherry. I know, Camp NaNoWriMo season, so it’s always about books. I finished The Gargoyle, and I’m going to start Sex Zombies by S. Wolf. You’ll have to finish it, and do I have faith. Sad to say, today I don’t. Now yes, this is still my week, and I’m worried about urban warfare and buying supplies for me and My Dæmon. I can promise you we’ll be all set to see you and him through, and at least I’m looking at the future. I’m willing to make a start and what do I ask of you, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Not Receiving Any Warnings From Norton About Security
  6. I AM Writing 25,000 Words, Camp NaNoWriMo “The Eve of a Cherry”

Find more books, remember Too Late by Colleen Hoover. I’ll say it once more JSS for Willing Delights, Willing Ends.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 276 ~Switching Superstars Saves Will~

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Well, this could be the closest I’m coming to any sort of a confession, and don’t I usually do that on Wednesdays anyway. I mean, I don’t write about Victoria’s Secret models though Cara Delevingne? Switching Superstars Saves Will

Thursday, April 2, 2020

Log 276 ~Switching Superstars Saves Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you would think I’d be stronger, smarter, or sexier. Why yes, Dear Dirty Diana, this conversation is brought to you by the letter S.

Let’s add the chapter “Gaining The Vag of Honor” since again, I’ll be talking about my novella today, for sure.

“She had what I’d call a lemming ass – that is, an ass that you would follow right over the edge of the cliff.”
― Andrew Davidson, The Gargoyle (Goodreads)

First, let’s talk about SWITCHING, and no, I don’t mean watching asses though I have. I’m not even talking about between Dominants and Subs. For the record, I’m a Dom and a Sadist Dom at that. Now I want you to consider Airi Akizuki, Michele’ Mouse’ Krasnoo, a.k.a. Megan Laurence and Marie Rose. These girls are my switches for the character of “Rini Aubrie Westfall.” She’s the “blonde bubble butt” blonde in my novella “The Eve of a Cherry.” So you ask me who they are making up for, besides looks, why pull a switch. I tell you I’m not a smart man, but I won’t be a STUPID one.

Then we have the SUPERSTAR, and why do I call her that besides getting me to break my NO FAP streak? Oh, I should probably tell you her name, Reagan Kathryn. Hell Dirty Diana, I was finishing my novella when I broke. She plays the role of Sarah Annora Haven, and I thought so much of her, my character nearly marries her. I guess I should mention that Cherry says I write the longest names. I’m a Southern Man, and people shout full names when somebody’s in trouble. Also, to me, it makes my characters seem more real if I may say so. I’ll also make my stories movies someday.

Finally, who is it I’m trying to SAVE? Humiliations galore outside of the bedroom are not my thing. How many girls well besides Cherry know I write about them? I’ve put MILF Dos in a story and Special K. To be sure, half the time, I’m saving myself. Shielding myself from my embarrassments and possibly jail time. Didn’t I write a few days ago nobody can arrest you for a book? Don’t I want to be infamous? I asked a girl the other day; does it bother her knowing guys get off on her body. She said to do as I wish, and there’s a reason “Love Doll” companies can’t mimic any REAL people. I remember Tallahassee in Zombieland said:

“You’re thinking about fucking Wichita. Well congratulations because for the past twenty-four hours, she’s been fucking both of us.” Zombieland

I would die a hero I write to be the villain, Switching Superstars Saves Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 275 ~Words Will Be Infectious~

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I’m sick, and no, not with “the beverage” as Tony Baler puts it, I’m sick of words, Grammarly, my novella’s, what the Day Job has to say, “indefinitely.” Now I have all the time in the world to write. Words Will Be Infectious

Wednesday, April 01, 2020

Log 275 ~Words Will Be Infectious~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which would mean I am a ghost. Now I’m not considering that I’ll die, and all my work will make my Dæmon, my Olds, and little sister wealthy. You know how I plan to make my money, and people won’t be paying to see me ever. I want to be Dennis Hof, but even now, I doubt I could ever be that open. The good news is you can’t with the Coronavirus (COVID-19) going around. Okay, so the bad news is I have more time to work on editing my novella, The Eve of a Cherry.

You’re saying, “Hol’ Up A Minute!” isn’t this Lady Sophia’s wheelhouse? One of these days, I’ll tell her the story of Pontypool Changes Everything. Anyway, I want to talk about, well, let’s start with “swear words.” Long story short, I think they are crass, but every word has its time and place. So that gets me back into why it takes me a while to talk to you, Inspector Echo. As I said, I’ve been working on The Eve of a Cherry, and do you want to know what I think about it? See, I don’t even want to put that out into the world. Okay, so with things I don’t want to put out into the world, texts, and emails from work. I won’t lie, and so the sin apparent is, I’m afraid to check. How often have I said I hate the Day Job? You know it’s needed.

I talked about being a Beta Reader once upon a time. For right now it’s directions, I don’t know if I’m just “me” or people are bad at giving them. Still, I listen, I’ve screwed up no less than three times today. If it’s not other people, I can’t follow the instructions I give myself. Didn’t I say I would wake up on time, shouldn’t I have gone to the store. Even this second, I should be reading but worrying about the Day Job. See now would be an excellent time to swear, but I’m still practicing self-censorship. Yeah, watch me share my novella with Cherry, and I’ll get arrested. I’m not worried about the Coronavirus, to be honest, but more so how the story will know remembrance one day.

It’s not the people or Dæmon, only the words, I’m Sorry; Words Will Be Infectious.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 274 ~Will My Love End~

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I’ve always wanted to believe in unconditional love, love everlasting, and well, I’m kind of greedy when it comes to love. I hoard it like toilet paper, hand sanitizer, and bullets. “Will My Love End,” not if I can help it, please don’t give up on me

Tuesday, March 31, 2020

Log 274 ~Will My Love End~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I can probably tell you where I got the first dollar I ever made. When I was a tot, there was a time I believed $300.00 would solve all my problems. I said the words, “if there is any money you’re not using, can I have it?” Besides you, my dæmon, and our other children, I hated when others would touch me. For the almighty dollar, though, I was doling out hugs for profit, which explains my views in business. Anyway, I can remember the first time I “fell in love,” but it’s only been in that which I’m scared it will all someday end.

What would be the proper answer, Babygirl? Love never ends, isn’t that in the Bible somewhere. You know I’m not a man of God though I do have particular views. My Love for the family we have made is indeed endless. Even if I fall in days such as these, and I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be so morbid today, possibly. Again during this time, a man has to think of the future. Only I don’t want to be like one of those men who forgets his Anniversary, your birthday, Valentine’s Day. My Olds attempted to raise a man, a southern gentleman at best. Still, I rather forget about how screwed up I was when trying to “court” you. My Love, I choose to forget about my fears even to this very day that one day you might “wake up.” Remember Steve Carell’s wife in Seeking a Friend for the End of the World?

So today I want to be happy sitting here with you watching that film. I want to check on my businesses and having you right by my side. I built this world for us, so I would never have to leave it, but what if we did? I still hate my father, but he is there for my mother, and I will be there for you. If I got infected, bit, or anything, I trust you’ll do the right thing. We could lose our minds together, walk this Earth together, end it together, that’s all I want. If we were ever separated, would I have it in me to find you again? Our atoms like Will to his Lyra, His Dark Materials, a fantastic series.

Never, Will My Love End.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 273 ~Faith, In You, In Something~

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Well, a different rule but repeated actions. I had faith that I would write something, look at the book, go shopping, and back to it being 3:00 PM trying not to look at women, playing TWD until 5:30 PM. I believe I’m lazy. Faith, In You, In Something

Monday, March 30, 2020

Log 273 ~Faith, In You, In Something~

Hundred And Thirtieth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but how many times do I have to say it before I believe it? When I was so young, I grew up in the AME church. I remember saying something to the tune of, on these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. Those were about loving God and loving your neighbor. Now I can’t say I do much of either anymore, but what two things do I repeat every day. I AM a Millionaire, Billionaire, Trillionaire, and I Will Have No Fear. The Law of Attraction. Allow me to try my best “Trinity” impression.

I believe “that girl” from last night wasn’t playing me for a fool. (Friday Night) I met this girl on Whisper. She was sweet, a mom, pretty, etc. So you’re asking me why no cute nickname? Well, haven’t heard from her at all today, and of course, that could mean anything. Do you see how quickly the negative thoughts come through? I could get played; I wasted the day, I’ll never get to sleep on time SIGH. I believe that we’ll have this conversation, but that doesn’t take much faith at all. Here we are, another day, okay, I promise I’ll stop it with the negativity. I believe AHEM I believe that I’ll go out tomorrow and gather much-needed supplies. We’re not starving, of course, but you know what it means when I set my clock for a twenty-minute nap? Not a “dang” thing ever.

You don’t know quite how badly I want to belt out the Blessid Union of Souls’ version of “I Believe.” Ironically, I believe by Monday night; when I finally post this, I’ll have a new gun. Life in the plague era and I’ve never once thought about getting sick; oh yeah, that Regal Popcorn. Anyway, I believe that I can keep “it” in my pants, and no, I’m not talking about a gun. I’m still working on my novella “The Eve of a Cherry,” and the two female leads well. It’s not like I’ve ever needed an excuse right, but at least I fixed two hundred errors today. Last but not least, ha-ha, I want to say that I believe in myself. I was talking to Cherry the other day and repeated all my dreams.

Why shouldn’t I, I ask, a man with “something” to do? All I need is Faith, In You, In Something.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 272 ~Willing For Ten Steps~

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Another two out of six, so I guess I owe the Day Job an apology; I walk a thousand steps for them no problem, but I can’t walk around ten to do what I love. Of course, my kid still wants his walks in this time of plague. “Willing For Ten Steps.”

Sunday, March 29, 2020

Log 272 ~Willing For Ten Steps~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but you look like you’re getting a $1,200 stimulus check. If anything for this week, you can live like your wealthy. I know I’ve been sitting on my butt the whole time (seven days Friday). Right now, I can’t even tell you if you have the Day Job or not (work email)? While I’m looking ahead, you can look at me and say I’m Very Disappointed, join the club. The fact that I rise to go to a place I hate and I can’t get it up to walk to the dining room table. Sadly I’m still raring to go as far as “getting it up,” I can only imagine your state.

Let’s start with last night. I can’t go to bed at 10:00 PM or any decent hour, for that matter. I usually play TWD until I feel I can’t keep my eyes open. I set the clock for midnight, but I end up waking at 3:00 AM with all the lights and TV still on. By sunrise, it’s a fight even to walk my boy. I barely got through editing one hundred errors of my novella, and I still have four hundred to go. Now that could have been my first mistake. It got me so worked up, The Eve of a Cherry. What do you think of the new name; a win’s a win, I suppose. Not with my break time, though, between Cherry, Alice Little, and others geez. Wasn’t there a point where I said I wasn’t going to speak of weaknesses in myself. 2020 has been a messed up year for everybody, but I’m still disappointed as I was “moaning” not an hour ago. I wasn’t crying about these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 008 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Not Receiving Any Warnings From Norton About Security
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Writing My Latest Novella
    Completed

Devil’s Advocate, I don’t control #5, but I haven’t received any alerts. I even checked my phone because while I was busy “moaning” about one girl, I checked out Karlee Grey. Talk about ten steps. I can shoot from one fetish to another, no question. You know you can’t stay cooped up for ten days, and you’re not sick; well, I can hope not. Should we go into who gives you fever, because if you’re holding out, you’re as crazy as I was? Speaking of which AHEM Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Not Receiving Any Warnings From Norton About Security
  6. I AM Finishing Editing My Latest Novella “The Eve of a Cherry”

I’m asking you like Ethan Hawke in “Alive,” for ten steps, Willing For Ten Steps.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 269 ~The Will To Win~

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Who’s winning at life besides $$$ Republicans? I suppose people are catching up on their reading, which means I should be catching up on writing, which usually means researching “adult entertainment” in detail. The Will to Win, his stories about done

Thursday, March 26, 2020

Log 269 ~The Will To Win~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so you see it doesn’t take a virus to write but merely the WILL. Now, Dirty Diana, I need to finish, did I say that, wow. Only with the whole damn world falling apart as the song goes, “Tell me what’s so bad, about feeling good?” Well, unlike wealthy people, I understand that the things I do make other people feel bad. There was a period in time I was all about Le Marquis de Sade, still am in Sadism. Today I’m proud to say I worked so damn hard on my novella that I can never show anyone ever.

Now here’s the current character list female wise:

  1. Cherry Roslyn Fae
  2. Anna Cecilia Fae
  3. Caitlin Grace Clayborn
  4. River Nelle McKinney – “Debbie” The Cheerleaders (1973) Brandy Woods
  5. Rini Aubrie Westfall – Airi Akitsuki, Oni Chichi
  6. Amorette Anissa Lucita – Alahna Ly
  7. Sarah Annora Haven
  8. Hanna Abbey Blake
  9. Phoebe Christina Piper – Piper Doll
  10. Brooklynn Elsa McKinney
  11. Gretchen Parker McKinney

Eleven women and I could name them all, but what would that get me. Should I focus more on all the sex scenes that I want to recreate? I could always go with the one from Immoral Sisters, the two sisters licking the principal’s cock. I talked about the one from Shusaku when he was ramming both the teacher and student. I know I am such a broken record, I can’t deny that at all. Why not take a page from Virgin Roster Shukketsubo? There seems to be no fairytale ending in sight. Well, unless you’re the male antagonist. So why am I so anxious to finish a story that no one will read. You may also ask why am I talking to you instead of Lady Sophia about writing? I’ve been in isolation for four days and NO FAP around twelve. Usually, when I make it past the first week, it’s smooth sailing for a bit. I’m not breaking.

I’m channeling my sexual energies elsewhere and with no people to be angry at hmm? Isn’t that a lie, but maybe I want to beat the end of the world by ending my own a bit sooner. Nice guys finish last, though. Isn’t today good for sexual innuendo Dirty Diana?

An excellent night for release but The Will To Win

I Will Have No Fear

Log 268 ~Will’s Six Of Excuses~

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How many times at the Day Job did I utter the words just another day, so when I came back to the house, exhausted who could blame me for not working on my dream. Now I’m too busy watching Shusaku until 2:00 in the morning. Will’s “Six” Of Excuses yep

Wednesday, March 25, 2020

Log 268 ~Will’s Six Of Excuses~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which in this country means I must not be working too hard. Let me say this out in the open, my biggest excuse for not doing something was the Day Job. So here I am, three days in isolation, I still have eight days before I hear from work and what have I accomplished? I guess this is a good experiment seeing where I stand on writing full time. Five thousand words daily, I haven’t gotten close. What about reading The Gargoyle or listening to another book, well I’m here now.

As I said, I should have all of my work by now. The words I do get on the page, around 1500, are so despicable and vile. Yes, I know, leave it to Lady Sophia, but yeah, I’m embarrassed. I guess that doesn’t go away even when I’m all alone, my son and me. Speaking of friends, shouldn’t I be getting back to M Anime? She’s still on the front lines, and I can’t say, I’m exhausted, I nap all day, case and point. I even dreamed that you and I had this conversation Echo. Well, Michonne was high last night (today’s Monday) talk about losing time. I already talked about reading, didn’t I? My life comes back to that always. The words are calling me, and still, I won’t listen to Eric Thomas. You have to learn to give up sleep; when will I.

After The Walking Dead, I could have gone to bed, but I decided to “research” my novella, right? There’s this one scene in “Shusaku Replay 3” (if you look that up, it’s your fault. Anyway, it’s between Kaori Maejima and Ayaka Minami. Okay, if I’m not watching stuff like that, how about catching up on “better” TV. I miss Into The Badlands, The Handmaid’s Tale, A Million Little Things. Thanks to the Coronavirus (COVID-19) wrestling will never be the same. Inspector Echo they are even postponing The Olympics. Finally, why aren’t I watching more of the news? Working at the Day Job, dealing with my Olds and everything else, it felt like my world was falling apart every day. I’m starting to have nightmares these days instead of staying informed.

Inspector Echo, I’m sorry I blame my Day Job and that I even stick with it. I apologize for my excuses. Will’s “Six” Of Excuses

I Will Have No Fear