Tag: Honesty

Log 148 ~An Eye For Will~

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Again not a word about NaNoWriMo, but I will finish on time; if only I loved writing as much as I love my job, yeah I hat the place, but I need it and speaking of which what about love, well I still have my dæmon. An Eye For Will.

Tuesday, November 26, 2019

Log 148 ~An Eye For Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that means I have eyes everywhere. First and foremost, I want to write books; you know that My Love. To this day, I still hate that saying about a picture being worth so many words. However, I want to study photography. I want to make movies. Before I met you, though, I loved other things, and I don’t want to offend you or creep you out. Too late, am I right? Only you know I believe the dead will walk the Earth. I know I was fearful of the Day Job. Of course, I love My Dæmon like pancakes always.

Now, as the song goes, I only have eyes for you. How about can’t take my eyes off of you, baby girl. I don’t lie My Love, again I’m not the type of man who can, I don’t know. Yes, I live in the moment, I can focus, when I look at you there’s only us. What I’m thinking is I want to love you, like I did my old job. Yes, I hate the Day Job, well the people but I was always there. Should I love you the way, My Dæmon loves his walks. When he missed one, I’ll admit I was frightened. Let me love you like I do my writing, which is every single day without fail. Oh, to love you like I do my DVR because I’m always saving every little thing important. You would have me love you like my pillow, because where am I right now, that’s sad.

Now another bit of faith I have is that love should be an obsession. With everything I love, I learn everything I can. When you understand something, it can’t hurt you ever. Today I was thinking about how I look at things. It reminded me of something out of “Prayers For Bobby.” When he was sad and miserable, his head hung low. His mother took it as a good thing. If he showed confidence or happiness, his mother was displeased. Yes, I know he was gay, not where I’m going with this, no worries. My point was when I was shy, scared, and sullen, people “loved” me ha. So I raised my head, I smiled, I studied, hope I wasn’t staring. Still, people got scared.

Only you’re not afraid ever, wow An Eye For Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 147 ~Laughter Shouldn’t Have To Hurt~

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Wouldn’t it be comical if it weren’t so sad that I could have finished my book going on two days now, but I treat “my life” as though it were a joke, well like my writing, and who am I hurting? Laughter Shouldn’t Have To Hurt

Monday, November 25, 2019

Log 147 ~Laughter Shouldn’t Have To Hurt~

Hundred And Twelfth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I won’t accept being a clown. There was a period in my life well, yeah, I wanted to be a comedian. Why you might ask, comedians tell the truth. It could be because I was confronting one of my biggest fears. You can speak your story and avoid hurting people. Of course, you know, causing others pain is a mixed bag for me. For the sake of any “publicity” today. The whole truth and nothing but Madam Justice, I’ve always been the joke. It’s the difference between being Dr. Frankenstein and Frankenstein’s monster. People get confused.

You see, I laugh, but it’s like A&W trying to figure me out today. Tony Baker is hilarious, TWD Reactors bring me joy, my dæmon is a Riot Maker. I’m grateful that I felt some genuine giggles today. At the same time, I had to put on my joker’s masks to keep from crying. I hardly ever go back and read yesterday’s gripe, but I notice they are starting to sound the same. As if I’d hear it, my ear is acting up. I won’t put such ideas out into the universe again, but what did Connie say about a SUPERPOWER? I don’t like the sound of my voice, and my laughter is only another sound because I lack the right words. Take The “Wrist” Of Playing Chrono; for example. My words are supposed to mean something more, Madam Justice.

When I hear people’s laughter, nine out of ten times, it’s not a good thing. Lucy fools Charlie Brown all the time, and sure she finds it hilarious. Why can’t I ever remember her laughing at him when it comes to kicking footballs? People laugh at me to avoid telling the truth and sad to admit, but that makes me sound like them. How about the number of times we text LOL as some qualifying protection filter? One more way of saying “like,” and I’m sure I’ve said that somewhere throughout our time together. I almost forgot about my biggest pet peeve when it comes to laughter; the phrase “just kidding.” Ellen DeGeneres said anyone saying that after hurting someone else. Well, they don’t know how to kid. I’ve laughed at people, but the world is confusing, Family Guy Charlie.

The comedian’s dead, if I hurt people I’m honest too, Laughter Shouldn’t Have To Hurt.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 146 ~Knocky In The Will~

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Well looks like I’m repeating myself, always tired, Day Job still sucks, and in my novel the guy always ends up with a bunch of women in a particular type of situation; people say God rested on the seventh day, that’d be nice. Knocky In The Will

Sunday, November 24, 2019

Log 146 ~Knocky In The Will~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but will you learn to say no? If you become part of the 1%, I assume it will come with the territory. Right here and right now, this is your place, and yet as Michael Jackson sang, “What have we done to the world?” At the Day Job, you were thinking about how you know censorship when it comes to writing. Not only in how you write but in time. Today weren’t you suppose to finish your book. Yeah, you could have completed it a lot sooner, but dammit (LANGUAGE) today, you were off, but you went.

A week full of FEAR isn’t it Will, you can see it as clearly as The Question Of Chrono. Yeah, you were so “disciplined” you even took off an hour early, and for what? Now you’re rushing missing wrestling because you decided that you rather sleep. Where is that drive you had last night to finish? You’ve been heavy in your motivations, so what does Eric Thomas say? I don’t sleep when I’m tired; I sleep when I’m done. How about this one, sleep is for those people who are broke? The more things change, as THEY say, you know, Will. I remember I would tell my “father” I was tired when I was only scared. People talk about prayer, and they fall to their knees. It’s nothing wrong with wanting the UNIVERSE’S aid, but you have to get up at some point. Pretty funny right, um Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Firstborn Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Reducing My Inbox To Zero
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”
    Failed

Now, this failure could know forgiveness if you could say right now you finished the novel. Tell me something Will can you name one thing today, that you have done to benefit you? Well, other than the idea that porn is pretty toxic? You worked when you didn’t have to, right? Cherry is a good friend, but you went in and out talking to her because of sleep. What does it matter if you caught up some this afternoon, where will you be tonight? At least your characters got a bit of respite, but their world was supposed to end tonight. You’re only in a rush now to watch Survivor Series, when during the week you could hardly stay awake to watch it on TV. Well I hope you enjoy it and TWD ha but remember your Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Firstborn Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Reducing My Inbox To Zero
  6. I AM Finishing “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”

SIGH Knocky In The Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 143 ~Training Hands Of Will~

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Well now everybody gets to see “Yabbos” and sitting or standing, everybody gets to ride and you have to forgive me, more Thora Birch in TWD so yeah “Yabbos” is becoming my go-to word, I still need 8000 though ha. Training Hands Of Will

Thursday, November 21, 2019

Log 143 ~Training Hands Of Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that seems more plausible than surviving No Nut November. Now I could go all-in on my BDSM philosophy but (Bane Voice) “That comes later.” Days like this tend to either exhaust me or turn me on; that’s, of course, when I’m writing. Sometimes I think I’ll never get a solid night’s sleep again though I only needed 800 words tonight. Anyway, as Tony Baker puts it, that’s neither here nor there. Do you want to know what broke my latest streak only yesterday, Mia Malkova “Groped On Train,” right.

Of all the things I can name from Asian culture. Martial arts films, my favorite Chinese food place the Red Lantern. Samurai Champloo, and other anime. Of course, Hentai, well hell, that’s where I got started. Midnight Sleazy Train; that goes back into my overall life goal. Running a brothel and that was mobile to boot. I’m still not one for sharing, the Swinger lifestyle and all. Okay, slow down, Kemosabe, first you need a girl. Don’t get on me about mixing Asians and Native Americans; it worked for Best of the Best 2. Only like I was saying movies. From Midnight Sleazy Train to G-Spot Express. Crimson Girls, Virgin Roster, School of Bondage, etc.

You’re damn right I said that because I can’t be up all night Ha. When is the last time I got more than four hours of uninterrupted sleep? It’s called being an adult, Dirty Diana.

Plus, I’m trying not to keep the wheels turning, though those on my first car should. I still haven’t texted back M. Anime because of these words. Eight hundred for the novel and then our conversation, which I should return to, so here we go. There’s this one with cheerleader Jenny Anderson on a train. Another starring Aiden Starr, one with Chastity Lynn, how about Alyssa Branch. So I’m confusing trains and buses, better question, other than Jenny why blondes. I can go further why everything on wheels, you know I’m one for the subconscious mind. Maybe this stuff with my other car comes out in another direction? Let’s not forget about Alli Rae, but again there’s one that doesn’t fit the motif. What’s that again, seeing, sharing, shocking public displays. Sounds like my writing, still with no sex, so surprise, surprise, am I right?

That’s me getting to sleep at a decent hour but no, Training Hands Of Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 142 ~Thy Will Be Done~

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As the song goes, I was almost home, well 42,000 words leaving 8000 to go if I hadn’t wasted days from this one to that; and what about the Day Job, people, I am so done with everything and then nothing. Thy Will Be Done

Wednesday, November 20, 2019

Log 142 ~Thy Will Be Done~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I could have been a year ago, or what’s my age again? Now it’s no secret Inspector Echo; if I had that level of wealth, I’d have a gaggle of young girlfriends. How about a beautiful wifey, yeah I’m still trying to be Dennis Hof. Only I was telling Cherry the other day, some women of a particular age are BRATS. I do mean legal age, but I’m getting off the subject, which is hmm? I should be done by now, with my novel, with the Day Job, how about staying afraid? Now you’ll have to excuse me, Inspector Echo, there’s work to be done.

The “Wrist” Of Playing Chrono

Chapter I Buttons, All Shapes And Sizes = B, Protagonist
Chapter II Tight Type Of Time Management = T, Victim
Chapter III Hands Across An American Girl = H, Mnemosyne
Chapter IV Put Your Clothes On Chrono = C, Cult

Chapter V Gears Looking At Your Kid = G, Victim
Chapter VI I Spy Some Amazing Thighs = I, Mnemosyne
Chapter VII Knowledge Of Knockers And Knockers = K, Cult
Chapter VIII Forgotten Filthy and Forlorn Truths = F, Protagonist

Chapter IX Anatomy Of Frickin’ Laser Beams = A, Cult
Chapter X Desiring Daughters, Damn The Danger = D, Mnemosyne
Chapter XI Lust, Dust, Ladies, Do Much = L, Cult
Chapter XII The Naughty Bits Of News = N, Protagonist

Chapter XIII Mornings Mourning The Moaning Mistress = M, Victim
Chapter XIV Pillow Talks Most Popular Prayers = P, Cult
Chapter XV To Jump The Jawbreaker’s Bones = J, Protagonist
Chapter XVI Yes, I’ll Rock Your World = Y, Mnemosyne

Chapter XVII The Silence Of Scream Queens = S, Protagonist

I know where I screwed up. I ask myself that every day, when is the moment my anxiety gets the best of me? I’ve come too far in my novel now; 37, 945 words. Not far enough today since at this hour, I should have 700 down, researching everything. I thought I would be done, living this way. A long time ago, to be honest. One of my motivations says, though, that a champion never stops Inspector Echo ever. The struggle is real, as the kids say. I’ve thought a lot about my sins lately and understood why so many find well Jesus. People find it too hard, but How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. Inspector Echo apologies, I worry, Thy Will Be Done.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 141 ~Will’s A Bible Thumper~

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Not a word about NaNoWriMo hmm, I still have a three-day window, but family comes first or thoughts of a future family, but writing is my first wifey, well to read, and I never got through the whole bible anyway. Will’s A Bible Thumper

Tuesday, November 19, 2019

Log 141 ~Will’s A Bible Thumper~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but what would I do for it? Well, you know I don’t want to discuss my business dealings. Of course, I’m not Nicolas Cage in Lord Of War. You’re my wife, my love, so I don’t keep secrets from you ever. Now you know baby girl that I would do anything for love as the song goes. Yeah, but I won’t do that right, and I need a reminder that you love me for me, well always. I’m not ashamed of my dense religion phase, but I am a big believer in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 still.

You know, above all others I would give you every song and book, I write novels for a living wanting to explain love. I want to show you that I love you every single day, and if I’m not, I’m sorry. Why do I want to be sorry today? One of the reasons I’m my boss now is because well, people. I remember at the Day Job a woman straight-up threatened me, and for what? Some words, love, letters on a page, I write so much wanting to hide and then also noticed. Showing kindness but expecting ignorance. I’m not so much one for the Bible anymore. You know I ignore people who quote it or invoke God’s name. Over two months, I have become so confused over things like weddings, and we’re headed into the holidays now. It’s hard keeping my morals and wanting to do what’s right by my family. It always will be, I suppose, my lovely.

Still, the Devil is in the details, as you know, I don’t like getting any laughs. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy laughing, turn on Tony Baker or TWD Reactions. Only don’t ever expect me to be a clown. Again I think of being threatened by some woman. I’m no saint. You know that baby doll. I say a lot of things, believe, and do plenty, but I try to be an open book, and I won’t let anybody make me feel low or ashamed. To this day, I do that plenty all by myself. Finally, I ask of you, My Love, don’t let me run. How I won you, I’ll never know, twenty seconds of insane courage, taking a step towards you, a miracle.

I love you but being kind, Will’s A Bible Thumper.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 140 ~She Loves You Not Title~

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I’m a BOSS, well not yet, I’m an author, not that either, a family man, well does my dog count and the occasional call from my mother when I “mess up” and as far as anyone else? She Loves You Not Title, but what am I now

Monday, November 18, 2019

Log 140 ~She Loves You Not Title~

Hundred And Eleventh Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but that shouldn’t matter, right? You know I’m not a prince, I could see myself shouting I’m King Of The World though. Between you and me, I know I’ll never be president. One of my motivations says, work hard, play hard, stay humble. When I get married, I still plan on dancing to that song, Simple Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd. Now with all this out there, today I’m Will, and I’m still learning how that’s enough, it has to be Madam Justice.

You know every Sunday I say I’m going to be a better father but am I? My dæmon is eating, he’s warm and comfy, and takes his meds. Okay, so my father would throw money at his family, does that make him the “man of the year?” When it comes to my mom, I don’t have a clue what she thinks about me these days. It could be that I’m not much of a man because of Rockford. Sooner or later, I’ll finally write down the whole story of Indiana Gone’s wedding, not tonight, though. Yeah, momma, look at me, my significant accomplishments this evening? I wrote 1,200 words for the novel, I got Alpha in TWD, and I didn’t get fired. Speaking of which do you remember some time ago, I told you or one of the girls about Chris Pratt and Passengers. SIGH as the song goes, that’s how you know you messed up, still being somewhat polite.

Am I explaining what this has to do with today’s rule, if anything, honestly? I can be a lot of things to a particular woman, but one I refuse to be is a clown. Strange that I still buy into that quote from Marilyn Monroe about making a woman laugh. Look, I’ll even go the whole gold digger route because you know I want my money. Still, I said I was leaving that girl alone, and bam there is today. Yes, excuse me for always assuming the worst of people, and the jury is still out. I only wish I could be sure about people, but I’m not even sure about my kid. Women love illusion, but if you recall when I was a kid, I wanted to be a comedian. Is a girl laughing at my truths or at the joke I may portray?

She Loves You Not Title.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 139 ~The Will Of Wage~

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The more things change, and you know the rest, finished my NaNoWriMo goal tonight, no coffee but cappuccino, still not drinking 5-Hour anything and the Day Job still sucks, but I’m writing for free. The Will Of Wage

Sunday, November 17, 2019

Log 139 ~The Will Of Wage~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but what are you worth? Now I don’t want to be mean, hell when you’re waking up, you’re more drunk than mean. Okay, you can say “hell” because this post will have your Six Impossible Things. What that means is you won’t be posting it in some places. Anyway, I remember a time I was so out of it I was going to pee in the trashcan. Well, that’s something for Inspector Echo, but let’s go back to the question. Is the Day Job worth everything you do, and why won’t you show such DISCIPLINE to your craft? The time there versus what you did tonight okay.

Somebody might have the impression that you don’t want to be a writer. You’re over 35,000 words in, but what did you do at the Day Job? Honestly, if you’re going to be humiliated, you could do it from the comfort of a warm bed. I mean this right here is the dream isn’t that right? Well, give or take a few million dollars, two beautiful women on either side of you. How about a hot little wifey, tell me you’re not still thinking about “Specs?” Will Smith, another hero, put it in a song, “Girls Ain’t Nothing But Trouble.” See that you’re a nice guy, you could have gone with “Bitches Ain’t Shit.” Wondering how much both of those songs made in the time they found themselves. You got things to do, though but how about Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Firstborn Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Reducing My Inbox To Zero
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”
    Failed

Are you honestly going to blame NaNoWriMo for another zero? You had two full days. That’s eight thousand words that means you would be at 43,000 words. Yes, I know you still hate math. How long is the dæmon on punishment, seven more days to another failure? The biggest count though besides NaNoWriMo, is nothing but Time. I know you’re tired on top of counting up deaths on TWD. The thing is you could go to bed right now; nothing is stopping you. Will, NaNoWriMo isn’t paying you a dime. How long have you been sitting on GULP? You’re here as the song goes, strictly for the love of the art, that’s passion. Wow you might even say you love yourself but look who you’re talking to, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Firstborn Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Reducing My Inbox To Zero
  6. I AM Finishing “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”

The Day Job pays, but you hate the people, such is The Will Of Wage.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 136 ~Will Is Getting Lapped~

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One more week of “Yabbos,” but it’s November, and this isn’t Hocus Pocus or “American Beauty” but yeah let’s move onto butt stuff, well at least holding onto one, or sitting here until mine falls off but that butt she got? Will Is Getting Lapped

Thursday, November 14, 2019

Log 136 ~Will Is Getting Lapped~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana
I AM a Billionaire right now, so why am I still up? If you listened to any of my motivations, they say the wealthy rise earlier and go down later. Does that hint at some dirt, or is it me, hmm? I don’t feel that way right now, but considering No Nut November and my shower routine? Sir Mix-a-Lot is famous for saying, “I like big butts, and I cannot lie.” You know me, I am forever a breast man, which is why the majority of my fantasies have been Cowgirl based, or am I lazy?

Now can you blame me, Dirty Diana, for wanting to sit on my ass and let somebody else do the work? Hell, this week alone, I’ve lost two days off and am still keeping up with NaNoWriMo. Call me Captain America because between work and sitting on it, I got America’s Ass. Yeah, I can be as positive as I want to be; I still can’t share this conversation. “Okay,” told me once that her favorite position was fucking in someone’s lap. I’m not gonna lie. I wanted her in the center of my bed like that. Here I am still wondering why she doesn’t want to be my friend anymore. Santa’s lap is acceptable, but I want a grown woman in mine, and I’m skeevy. Am I too honest tonight, well check the time, and I also finished 1300 words before all this? Once again, I have to control myself and tell you my “tamer,” fantasies, with those others…

First, without a doubt, there’s Sawa from Kite: Director’s Cut. One scene in particular when she slides onto Akai on his lap. I might as well go for that whole genre from Yellow Star to Mezzo Forte. When I first got into Hentai, I thought Natsuno from Desert Island Story X was it for me, Dirty Diana. See, I have to stop myself because I could carve through that whole genre. I don’t know what it is about holding onto a girl’s ass as she bounces or when she holds onto your knees, leaning back. I do need to get some sleep, but of course, in the morning, what I need to wake up somehow. Something had to give, no question. NaNoWriMo demands it always.

I spend most of my days running, so when I sit, Will Is Getting Lapped.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 135 ~It Bugs Me, Will

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Last week it was ants or the lack thereof and this week, butterflies, ants, and roaches oh my but I’m not talking about the actual creatures for they all exist in man, at least if you watch some weird cooking shows. “It Bugs Me, Will.”

Wednesday, November 13, 2019

Log 135 ~It Bugs Me, Will

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I don’t think much of people. If I was being honest with myself and joined the ranks of the one percent, what would I do? I help NaNoWriMo and animals. Inspector Echo, is it a sin I still owe Indiana Gone, Birthday and Wedding Gifts?

Butterflies, not the first bug you thought I would mention today. I wasn’t thinking about them myself, but now I’m feeling them. Have I ever told you that Red and Black are my battle standard? Today though, I want to burst into that song Amber. No, I should mention the last time I spoke about butterflies or a particular Pokémon to a girl, the “Rainbow?” I would do well to remember since this would cause even more trouble. Wasn’t I so “optimistic” today, though, and I do not need to be in any sense? Shouldn’t I play Chris Pratt’s part in Passengers? Only I’ll do the right thing and leave her alone. I wasn’t lying to her, though; I like how my name sounds on her lips. Cherry would have a time with this, given her particular romantic interests always.

Ants would take my mind off things, but am I trying to curse myself, happy thoughts. It’s FEAR though Inspector Echo, my anxiety and worry. I’m always on guard, and that explains why I’m holed up in bed today. How about being in bed for a different reason, and it’s no good. I’m feeling pretty “antsy,” and I’m not sure why. Well, no, I know exactly why, but so far, I can still post this if I stay on the up and up. These words like one big ant colony, and I’m trying not to bug anybody else, life goals.

Roaches can survive anything or so “THEY,” say. My day job, for example, I endure humiliation, exhaustion, and I play dead. Some pretty girl sees me, and I go scurrying all over the place. I don’t want to imagine myself as a nuisance, but isn’t that always the case. Dennis The Menace, Bran the Broken, Will the Ill, etc. Why doesn’t “Okay” talk to me anymore? When I speak to Indiana Gone, I only bring bad news. Why do I chat up some pretty girl despite everything she has going?

I’m sorry for this RAID Inspector. To be a raven, Nevermore, It Bugs Me, Will.

I Will Have No Fear