Tag: Son

Chronicle 073 ~B Kind Of Trouble~

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On September 12, 2001, people had much bigger fish to fry. Now here I am twenty years later, complaining about twenty bucks. I’m all for Onlyfans but let’s just say I’m not paying for those. I should buy more stuff for Braxton. B Kind Of Trouble

Sunday, September 12, 2021

Chronicle 073 ~B Kind Of Trouble~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but Mo’ Money Mo’ Problems as the song goes. What I wouldn’t give for B III’s shit.

I’ve read Dennis Hof’s book, The Art of the Pimp: One Man’s Search for Love, Sex, and Money. He and some of his friends and associates talk about being “Mother Fucked.” Pardon the language. When Dennis gets Mother Fucked, he’s done with you, that’s it. Okay, so this morning, I was Mother Fucked. I’m feeling like a Republican talking about George Floyd and a twenty. Yeah, it was $20.00, but that was my money. Now I ain’t no cop. Yes, I have my own stupidity to blame… For the record, I’m over Samantha Flair, ha. I’m sorry you’re starting your week off on such a sour note. You feel stupid, your cash was “stolen,” and as far as sex goes… not on Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, The Theta Prophecy By Chris Dietzel
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Survive The Thirty-Seventh Emergence Day
    Completed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

To sing a song, “why do the things I hate come so naturally?” If it’s not a pair of English Yabbos you didn’t want. Why not Cherry’s (sigh)? You’re kind to the Day Job. You’re kind enough to your bed. Fuck your comfort zone, the motivations would say. Goddammit, man, you give all your energy to a place you despise and nap away your life. That’s not saying anything about the life I took. My B. I spent an hour Saturday looking at other fur babies. Like you can afford one when Onlyfans robs you. Don’t be me, I beg. Easier said than done? The world is headed to Hell, and The Handmaid’s Tale tells all. Only you’re reading something else and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, Succubus 6 (Devil In The Deep Blue Sea)
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of B III
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Yesterday I talked some about the saddest memories of Braxton being the best. Considering the state of the world, losing $20.00 is nothing to over $300, letting B III rest. Again you hate the Day Job with a fiery passion, but at least they’ll pay you slave wages. Today you’re going to sit here in blankets trying to stave off the cold of your Treachery. Hell, you’re even back to monk status at the moment because nothing turns you off more than stealing. Again your stupidity or mine. Anyway, you don’t deserve to feel good. Advice wise I’ve got nothing but remember who you have to pay. Paying for your sins. A tattoo, Cuddle Clone? Having worries and cares of B. B Kind Of Trouble.

224 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 072 ~All Hair B III~

WillLeave a comment

I lost my crown when the little prince died. Still, my head is heavy, taking a good look around the world. I’m not a military man. I’m not a woman living in TX. When will they break out those white hats? I also need a haircut. All Hair B III yep

Saturday, September 11, 2021

Chronicle 072 ~All Hair B III~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and the first thought that popped into my head was Braxton’s hair. The world’s pretty cruel.

Cruel enough for Tue, September 11, 2001, to happen is what I should say. I was a High School Senior in an English Class. I had too much hair and not enough brains for sure. Lady Luna, keyword being Lady, I could talk about TX’s Abortion Ban. Oh, for the record, I’m Pro-Choice. Outside the confines of the bed, I’m not one for telling women anything. Speaking of Humiliations, I endured yesterday. That’s the last thing I want to do, from Drive-Thru to BOSS orders, ASM. Dammit, you would have thought I would have woke my ass up earlier. Turns out that Yung is right (Blue Gender). When you’re asleep, the monsters can’t get you. Want to “scare” somebody? Say you want to sleep forever.

Or planes smashing into buildings. Things we didn’t think of, as in Sometimes in April; the horror of the Rwanda Genocide. Now Texas meets The Handmaid’s Tale, I see now. “Charlotte’s Rape” in that show Private Practice. Witnessing that, how long did I watch? I still think about that short movie “Soulmates” I saw on Gofobo. The baby, the Notice. What Rachel did to herself in Fear The Walking Dead. Weren’t people disturbed by that? Lady Lu, there’s big news on The Matrix, but um; The Animatrix: The Second Renaissance. Talk about reasons to have a hothead daily. Being angry at the whole world. These horrors being real, not becoming. I don’t want to go outside, but it’s been months since a haircut, plus doggies.

I should be ashamed of hating myself. A few think I should be for crying over B III even now. My Ma said that I’ll have room for good memories. Now it’s Creep, Say Something, Asleep. How about the song Mad World, which makes the most sense? Braxton’s being as Ass. That’s what the groomer hinted at when he was getting washed. Lunalesca, I know. As small as B III was, there’s so much hair. If I stayed in bed too long, I couldn’t breathe. What A Heavenly Way To Die? The colors of Braxton make you appreciate rainbows. The softness of his fur makes you want to reach out to everything… Am I Wrong? Crying for Braxton beats this world. All Hair B III

223 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 067 ~Duty Should Not Rule Destiny~

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I can’t promise to do more than survive this week. I didn’t know it was my destiny to be here and if I had my way… Humans have a duty to survive but as far as a “shared” destiny. Braxton should be a part of mine still. Duty Should Not Rule Destiny

Monday, September 6, 2021

Chronicle 067 ~Duty Should Not Rule Destiny~

Two-Hundred And Fourth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and if I had never met Braxton, I’d take that over fatherhood.

So I know today is about Rule 204, but it’s also Day 218 without B III. Yep, I’m not alright. We could also talk about Year 37, but I’d instead cry over B’s death than my waste of life, I know. Because when I dream of destiny, a concept, an ideology, I remember writing Rule 13. “Power Is All That Matters.” Do I believe that this is my destiny? I’m halfway tempted to go all Forrest Gump. “I didn’t know it, but I was destined to be your daddy.” At the same time, if B were still here, I’d have to ask, “What’s my destiny, son?” I have no clue. Fuck, whatever it is, I know it’s not what I did while showering last night.

To quote Rule 002, “You Are Not A Caveman.” Allow me to be one of the “Cool Kids,” and as Xzibit put it, “Man was made to procreate.” So for a while, I have come to believe this sentiment. For me, the epitome of a man is that of fatherhood.

A man must see to his family always and forever. I didn’t need a woman for that; now that’s not anything against women. Braxton’s love. Madam, I had my son. You know how certain people are about animals. Again Braxton. It was his duty to protect me, Madam, but it was his destiny to love me. Did he? Of course. My duty was to provide; my destiny was to love. As The Beatles sang “All You Need Is Love,” Hmm.

If Life is a Game, Love is the Instructions. I was in the Navy for a couple of weeks. Yes, I’m rambling, but my point is I had a duty to my country but a destiny to love all, right? Madam, every day it’s as if I have to write, but I have the destiny to live as a writer. Does that make any sense? A duty to try but my destiny and another song I just wanna be “Successful.” Going back to rule 002. I have to survive. A caveman could do that. What does it mean to live? When’s the last time I felt alive? I don’t mean Fear, Sex, Pain, but good. Sad, but it won’t be any time this week. Survive. Duty Should Not Rule Destiny

218 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 066 ~To B Little Myself~

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It’s always something small, as the song goes, The Little Things that get to me. Seconds with friends. Thoughts no one seems to notice. The death of my son. Another day out of the year I hate. And the voice in my head that wants “To B Little Myself.”

Sunday, September 5, 2021

Chronicle 066 ~To B Little Myself~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and money takes away all sense of shame? Hating yourself today? But yesterday, my sweet buttery Jesus.

Again I know I’m not ready for a dog. My dream tells me Hell NO. You can never ever ok. Before lunch, I didn’t wash my hands, sanitize, anything. I don’t fear dogs; it’s people. Good thing your Old Man didn’t hear that. Let me continue. Your teeth are fucked-up. I was about to steal Carolina Bound’s hubby’s drink at lunch because I wasn’t thinking. Of course, I didn’t offer to pay for lunch, and it’s not like I even ate much while with them. What about loading up the to-go box upside down. My ignorance made me puke, almost. It’s the little things that make me whisper the little words in the night. My apologies. That’s why you awoke late and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, Tampa by Alissa Nutting
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Get Ready For My Thirty-Seventh Emergence Day
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Carolina Bound would hate the fact of worrying about yesterday that I did nothing, sigh. M Anime could take offense that I used answering her to forget about Carolina Bound. Another “friend” would be disgusted with me. She says that nobody jerks to her ever.
Besides the whole Terminator 3 “I Killed You” aspect, Braxton knows 217 I’m Not Alright. There’s the knowledge that you can count all your friends on only one hand? Revolting hands. Sweating but not because of work. Covered in blood, and you’d settle for that instead of your addiction. None of your friends say a goddamn word. Your enemies… Hell, could they do as much damage as you do to yourself day after day? Yours’s just started. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, The Theta Prophecy By Chris Dietzel
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Survive The Thirty-Seventh Emergence Day
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

It seems like only yesterday that you lived through the worst week of your existence. Eeking with the last one was a mess, and would you try it now if this one, you know what. I guess while my shame is still so fresh, you find that a hard thing to contemplate. It is ok. Last night I laid there thinking, “I don’t want to do this anymore,” “I’m Thinking Of Ending Things,” “Stupid, Stupid, Stupid.” I fell to my knees, not before God but to get smaller. I thought I read to get brighter, but I need to cram my head full of everything. This week that’s Braxton, Emergence, Day Job. B was so tiny, but you love him always. To B Little Myself.

217 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 065 ~B A Little Happy~

WillLeave a comment

I had little to no control over these ramblings, or so it feels that way. How do I feel today? Going to PetSmart today. Lunch with my bestie, my homegirl… is there a manly way to say that. What little cash for food and “Emergence.” “B A Little Happy”

Saturday, September 4, 2021

Chronicle 065 ~B A Little Happy~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now; because is anyone a trillionaire? Do I need my expectations any higher? I’m not a Dad.

At least not anymore in the dog realm. Nowhere near the TRADITIONAL sense. But as has become my “New Normal,” I’ll stop by PetSmart today, then visit my second BFF. Lady Lu, I don’t mean to sound so down, and it’s only 7:45 AM. So yeah, I’m late as is. Feeling like The Priest from Romeo & Juliet “There art thou happy.” Don’t I need to go back and look up my most hated words? I’m sure Happy was on the list. When B lived? Was I happy, you ask? Hell Lady Lu, anything was better than this. For the past few days, I’ve been biting my tongue. Yesterday I finished the novel “Tampa” by Alissa Nutting. Writers aren’t meant to do as I am.

I mean to mince words for a small mind. Alissa didn’t, but every day I try to move a little bit faster. I make myself out to be smaller. And what, am I ashamed of all that I am? Lady Luna, you have seen what is becoming of this place. On Friday, I even tipped an OnlyFans creator to get my “Stuff And Thangs” promoted and expanded. A “Shower Cam,” yeah. Making money makes me happy? If it did, wouldn’t I feel something for the Day Job? Yet again, I left a note in an attempt to get out of a shift. Preparations for Emergence trouble. The second worse day of my life next to Sunday, January 31, 2021. On the 30th, I watched Braxton.

He wasn’t my happiness. How dare I, right? Nobody can make you happy, but you THEY say. Calm, Peace, Love, that was B III. I still hate the phrase “Live, Laugh, Love,” but to say B? The tiniest thing, and that’s the essence of man, I say. Fatherhood to Manhood. Titans gave creation to Gods. Those Gods made Men. Men sought power over everything, not knowing we gave our hearts to those we sought to own. Dogs? Conan The Barbarian? That’s one of the little things, Lu. At the Day Job, the first thing I would listen to is Braxton’s playlist. Now it’s TBR Schmitt’s reaction to Conan. I’m not happy. In fact, in this “Mad Season,” I feel STUPID. To B A Little Happy?

216 Days Without B III

Chronicle 060 ~Young Deaths Equals Older Humiliations~

WillLeave a comment

This should be a longer, like B’s life. At least I’ll say it. I don’t ask for the young to die so I can make some sort of statement. To think there was a time in my life I wanted to be the Secretary of Defense. Young Deaths Equals Older Humiliations.

Monday, August 30, 2021

Chronicle 060 ~Young Deaths Equals Older Humiliations~

Two-Hundred And Third Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I wish I had done it sooner. Tomorrow would be good.

Tomorrow as today is Thursday, August 26, 2021. More Time Travel. Now would be a decent time to bring up Rule Number Two, “You Are Not A Caveman.” Only today’s rule is so damn usual in a world of kids dying so old white men can allow plagues, own guns. Hell, I want to be a daddy someday; I was to Braxton. The odds of B III outliving me? All I know is he should have lived longer. That is my failure and my disgrace. Thus my shame. I don’t bury children lightly, not like the men and women I see every day on TV. I don’t want to get all political, Madam; I want to be real, but manhood’s purpose is family. That’s a man to me. Be that.

I’m a man, as Nicolas D. Wolfwood put it. With the loss of my child, yeah, I said it. Braxton, “He’s My Son.” With his death, I’m not like… Do you remember Hurricane Katrina? Black people lost their homes, and then they were made out to be refugees? Politics Madam. Anyway, I was never meant to make it this far. I’m about to be thirty-seven and with what I’ve done. Years of suicide attempts, not now. The lot of them I tried to hurt my father. It’s not like he would have cared, but maybe Madam maybe, shock, humiliation, failure. There was no shame when Braxton left me, for he fought with everything he had. He wanted to live. I didn’t, like father like son.

My father lives with his shame of a son, and that’s the thing, ain’t it? I live. I would have gladly died instead of my son. I was always worried about leaving B III alone. I talked to B III today (again Thursday), and I had an epiphany about why I’m still eating. Because no one will ever say he died because of his dog. How hard is it for anyone to understand this from Denzel Washington in John Q

“I AM NOT GOING TO BURY MY SON! MY SON IS GOING TO BURY ME!”

People, no, politicians have no shame. The young and the old don’t die for your power. For 211 Days, I would die for love. Others? Young Deaths Equals Older Humiliations

An old man dies. A little dog lives. A fair trade. I love you, Braxton

211 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 059 ~Ten Year Worker B~

WillLeave a comment

I regret the ten years of my Day Job, the nearly thirty-seven of my life. The 210 days of being without my son. Only I will always love the 7,884,000 minutes I had with him, Seasons of Love. Yet how can I complain about being sigh A Ten Year Worker B

Sunday, August 29, 2021

Chronicle 059 ~Ten Year Worker B~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and here you are, still complaining. You put up with the Day Job. Braxton’s life was you.

No wonder, what was it? Only last night, I felt a renewed energy for “Stuff and Thangs.” You’ve been continuing that this morning since you didn’t wake up on time. Or is it the fact that this week is going to suck? Welcome To The Suck. Stop using soldiers’ lexicon? You can’t help yourself with everything going on in the world nowadays, the U.S.A. dude. Yet THEY wonder why you put your earphones in every day. E-Day, earbuds, you think? On the subject of Emergence Day, how about more books from Audible, hmm? My dude? Anything to avoid listening to me, and I don’t blame you. Life is the hardest job there is. The Day Job is the second. Yet being a Daddy… the greatest. It’s not Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, The Theta Timeline (Novel)
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of Braxton
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Only you’re not anymore, and yesterday I talked about that dream as to why not. Do you think that you’ll write it down before you forget it all? My Bad, I was talking to Dear Future Wife. That’s on top of betraying Braxton. Do you think that you’ll fare better? Okay, you have the Six Impossible Things to tell you what you’re not going to do. I’m not the man for advice. I’m sorry, but while you’re busy effing up any plans for this week, you know what you must prepare for, right? Good Night, Good Luck. Are You Ready?
Doubtful, I know, but yes more Dystopian and Time Travel, Dying Light, and The One. And these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, Tampa by Alissa Nutting
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Get Ready For My Thirty-Seventh Emergence Day
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

The things you choose to remember and forget. Not this week but the next, may your Olds forget about you. How about Carolina Bound and M Anime. Carolina Bound knows you, and M Anime doesn’t know the correct day, which is pretty good. Emergence Dinner. Never had a last one with B III because there was always more time. And there was his sweet sixteen coming up. Next week will be the first without B III. What will you tell your replacement? B III can never be replaced, but should you become a better man. Jesus, a man that doesn’t regret ten years of the Day Job, thirty-seven of life. You’re still crying over fifteen years, 7,884,000 Seasons of Love. Not Ten Year Worker B.

210 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 058 ~Braxton’s Vigil, My Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Am I going to have to write this whole dream out (yeah)? Well, if another fur baby came walking into my life, I have names. A boy “Virgil,” a girl “Beatrice,” which isn’t fair at all. Neither is waking up at 1:30 in the AM. Braxton’s Vigil, My Virgil

Saturday, August 28, 2021

Chronicle 058 ~Braxton’s Vigil, My Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but yesterday, “a day which will live in infamy.” I found I wasted ten damn years.

No disrespect to soldiers or even Sci-Fi as I was telling Carolina Bound and M Anime. My Day Job is a mix between going to Nam and being dropped into The Tomorrow War. Add to that being trapped and drowning. How do I survive? I had a son, my Braxton. Friday, August 27, 2021, hell Luna. I had B longer than I have been working in well, Hell. Then I wonder why I’m not running as fast home or to my writing. Hell is what I deserve. I believe that’s why I had that nightmare, but we’ll get to that. The Day Job, my God. Every time I go in the name of the game is this, don’t get fired. When Hell freezes over, right?

I thought I was dead last night. Some time ago, talking to Carolina Bound, I asked did she ever have a dream that she knew was a dream. With my own visions, it happened again. I found I was surrounded by people, so I unleashed black tendrils that were electrified. Them my sister was behind me, looking over my shoulder while I was looking at porn. You know the type. What I pay for, get creators kicked off platforms, foreign influences, etc. Next um, a phone rang, it wasn’t mine, ok Lu. At 1:30 AM, I’m “strapped,” as kids say. I’m stalking around the house, listening for the sound. Usually, this is Braxton’s job. If it’s “serious” again, I get my “gat.” Protecting us always.

So I fall back asleep, trying to dream of the guns in Far Cry 5. The monster gets in the house anyway (dreaming), and it’s my father carrying a dog made out of jelly beans. He looks like Braxton only, color coated, and I see B III on the floor. So the candy dog’s new. As I pull off jelly beans, there’s a furry dog underneath, orange, but the fur begins turning Braxton’s shade. Days go by, the dog becomes more and more like B but begins to shrink too. Like destroying/taking the Mind Stone from Vision, Wanda, or Thanos? Braxton is gone. If the dream and/or nightmare says anything, another dog, no, I can’t. But it’s Saturday. Petsmart then groceries? Braxton’s Vigil, My Virgil.

209 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 053 ~Lift, Step, Repeat, Falling’s Harder~

WillLeave a comment

Sum up my job, pick it up, put it down. Boxes, tools, my feet, but B wouldn’t complain if I brought food. Eat first, then let him run around the backyard. I’m cleaning up as if he’ll step off the Rainbow Bridge. “Lift, Step, Repeat, Falling’s Harder”

Monday, August 23, 2021

Chronicle 053 ~Lift, Step, Repeat, Falling’s Harder~

Two-Hundred And Second Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I always have a soft place to land. I swear Braxton quested for comfy spots.

It didn’t take me 204 days to realize he was the cuddliest thing ever. Being as exhausted as I am, I’m always grateful for my head to hit the pillow. Braxton’s fur is long gone. Madam, at this moment (Sunday, August 22, 2021, Time-Travel), I’m in B III’s favorite hoody. His pillow is beneath my feet. Yet I’m cold AF. AC, stupidity, my B’s love? Don’t you think I should look up how to work the thermostat for once? That’s something Dads do, isn’t it? Talk about a lift. For all my failures, I once could say I’m B’s Daddy. Braxton can no longer lift my spirits, and whenever I raise my foot, I’m heading off in the wrong direction. It’s a decision, I know.

When my foot comes down, I wish I was in the ground. Didn’t I say today (again Sunday) that I must be careful with my words. Like wishing I could fly as Braxton does? How many steps must he have taken in his life? I’m 36, 37, but Braxton had four paws for fifteen+ years. The thing is, he appreciated every one of those steps while I hate mine. You ask me what the last step I wanted to take was. Not as profound as what I was thinking because of the truth. Taking Braxton to die, of course. The Hardest steps of my life. After those would be the ones, well, who knows how long it took me to walk after my “Emergence Day.”

Only I keep going, don’t I? I can’t tell you the last step I took that I was happy about. Carolina Bound would be disappointed because, in July, we all went to lunch. My friends. Braxton would be proud that Saturday I went and bought new pruning shears… What’s My Age Again? I’m trying to take care of the backyard. Braxton, come play again, please? I’ve even written it into my budget now to go and pick up lunch. McDonald’s will be pleased with $10. Taco Bell has fries. I need plenty after the Day Job shitshow; I know it. What else do I know? I don’t want to fall on my face; for scams and not in love again. Lift, Step, Repeat, Falling’s Harder

204 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 052 ~Rules Can B A…~

WillLeave a comment

Make sure to bring a sharable (fries), don’t let the grass grow tall enough to poke my little B, let me go outside if you’re trying to cook. Those are only a few of Braxton’s rules, and now the house and life are lawless but TRADITION. Rules Can B A

Sunday, August 22, 2021

Chronicle 052 ~Rules Can B A…~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means there are no rules, but as for you… Make the bed might be one more.

Speaking of one, what’s one more humiliation, an accident, or betrayal. I’d say you’re going to Hell but been there and done that. What, I don’t do inspirational Pep Talks. Instead, I know you’re thinking about the last time you were at the Day Job. Do we go to you at the kiosk? How about your Stupidity at price changes? Oh, it gets worse too. If it wasn’t your first time working the kiosk in a decade, it’s your first car accident with someone. You’d never say you’re a good driver, but I felt that fear returning the other day. Then, of course, I went to PetSmart as well. I could say I hadn’t petted another dog since Braxton for 201 Days. Then 202… add that to Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, The Theta Patient (short)
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 007 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of Braxton
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

That’s the thing, mourning doesn’t have any rules until it does. Rules are Rules, as I read in The Theta Patient. Now you’re all into The Theta Timeline. Would you look at that, a connection? At the moment, you don’t know who you are but with B’s death and books. Hell, there’s a whole series of rules written down to life, so why don’t you read them? I don’t know what I was envisioning when buying that “Budget Guns” magazine. Now you’re dealing with some thoughts. You know you must be careful voicing such opinions. Petting that dog… I needed a bit of life, but the thing is, I don’t deserve it. The good news is life makes it as hard as Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, The Theta Timeline (Novel)
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of Braxton
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

There are no rules other than those you have made for yourself that you won’t follow. How about the government you tell M Anime that you believe in? There are all the unwritten ones. For when you get out of this bed and face the people of this world. Man in the mirror. If anything, right now, you only want to finish this conversation in two hours and fifteen minutes. It’s only an idea that you feel deems you worthy of having a nap in the afternoon. Like in Blue Gender, when you’re asleep, the monsters can’t get you or B III, right? He Knows

Interestingly, I chose to break B III’s rule of coming home smelling like other dogs. Is that a Hell-worthy trespass… Yes, Rules Can B A…

203 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will