Tag: Time

Log 061 ~Will To Learn Hmm~

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Advertising, Branding, Photography, when I was in high school I did try to learn French “the language of love” for obvious reasons, in college it was journalism, which explains my research skills, hell my mom’s a banker. “Will To Learn Hmm”

Saturday, August 31, 2019

Log 061 ~Will To Learn Hmm~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now or tomorrow? At least I woke up like one. Checking the Stock Exchange and waking up to someone cute. Of course, I have yet to invest. That someone cute is seven pounds of fluff, four legs, and I love him like pancakes. I said that in one year I would be a millionaire. So the question becomes, why aren’t I? Can I blame PCH? Hell should I be blaming my temptations, there’s been a few. Whatever happened to Shailene Woodley?

Speaking of things I’m learning, it’s all about money. Did I believe I would find the likes of Pure Taboo, Fetish Network, Reality Kings, Brazzers as stocks? For a second there, yeah I kind of did. I’ve found a few shares here or there but nothing that speaks to me Lady Lu. Think outside the box as THEY say. I found a company that does condoms. Talk about a business that will always be needed. I still have my submissive closet, so maybe I’ll look for something in Spicy Lingerie or the like. I continue to see the “broken” which isn’t very polite to say such things. It took everything within me not to make an offer to a young woman only yesterday. What about this morning? Yeah, I’m all sorts of terrified that a polite hello or an inquiry might cost me a friend.

I read somewhere that women don’t decide where to eat because of Adam and Eve. At the moment I get where Eve is coming from ha. Last time she did something somewhat “innocent” humanity was screwed. My firstborn still flinches as though I may hurt him. Am I that much of a monster? Will I ever learn to be good? It would start by putting some money up for treats and such. I’m too busy trying to treat myself or be a man. It would be something like Manhood training in Roots. No, my father taught me to fear both God and Man. God doesn’t bother me but trusting another human being? One more reason I like the path of sex and submission. Pain, Passion, and Power Lady Lu. To relish one, share the other, and be trusted with all indeed.

I don’t trust myself not to check my phone for an hour for news. How could I think to give my word to have a million? Will To Learn Hmm.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 057 ~Will You Remember Me~

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From hot to wet, well yeah the heat is still getting to people, but now it’s raining that seems right at the moment, like I forgot something sad, but that’s tomorrows problem isn’t it? Will You Remember Me for something right

Tuesday, August 27, 2019

Log 057 ~Will You Remember Me~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but not afraid of forgetting our anniversary. How many times and dates do I keep on my phone but today seems kismet. Like the day I met you. Here I am with a good idea, and I realize I wrote it before. Episode 058 The Time Traveler’s Will. Yeah that was on the 28th of last year. Where does the time go and you know there are things I rather forget. That’s one of the concepts I love about, well love. I heard in a movie once that “love can’t tell time,” “what’s my age again”

Of course this week and the next that question gets to me a lot. Hell, yesterday I was looking at my firstborn, growing a beard or all his little beige hairs turning grey. He still thinks he’s a puppy and what about me with the baby talk. Well then you have my taste in music of course and do you remember the first song we danced to? What about our wedding. Fifty Shades Freed Playlist, Levitate, Kiss From A Rose? How do I go from feeling like an old man to a little kid in seconds? From calling, you baby girl, to baby doll, to beautiful, and do I have any William Shakespeare left ha. All the time in the world for us, This Love. You know I say it all the time, Saturday mornings lying here with you my atom bomb baby. I’m not in my 40’s or 50’s yet, or so I hope.

Of everything I have done in life, I want to be remembered as that guy in the hood. You know what I mean, my hoodies, yeah when we met I was a man of the suburbs. I only want you to remember how I put my arm around you. Dare I say it, I let you wear one of my hoodies. When you hear a particular song or watch a movie you’ll remember something of mine. I don’t mean to sound so macabre. How many books do I have that sound like that? Yesterday I was reading “Rules Of Bennett” and saw that such true love still exist. I see it every day with us, but I want to see it for many more days to come. Always to call you My Love without worrying about Will You Remember Me.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 054 ~Staying Ahead Of Will~

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Last week I wasn’t sitting in bed and now; cut me some slack, I was up at 5:15 AM, the firstborn is walked and medicated, I even left to get some gas for the old car, and I’m not playing and “other” games. “Staying Ahead Of Will.”

Saturday, August 24, 2019

Log 054 ~Staying Ahead Of Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but I should have been a long time ago. Today I’m ahead of the game but only by an hour or so. You know one of my best motivations says to wake up at 4:00 AM. It’s not like I haven’t before, and I even got around six hours last night. As if I need more temptation to fight. Jennifer Lawrence, Lily Bowman, Haley Pullos, and Girls Gone Plaid. Hell It’s not even 6 AM yet, and I’ve hit on a celebrity. Speaking of which I said, “I’ll be your Adam if you’ll be my Eve.”

Head games and mine still hurts from Walmart. It’s all in your head as THEY say, so I’m trying not to think about it, Lady Lu. Here we are though but still no bruise. I know better than to go to WebMD. Next thing you know I’ll find out I’m dying. We all are, no doubt only I might be sooner than most. As I said temptation and I should add Madison Page from Heavy Rain to the list. She’s the closest I’ve gotten to porn looking up that chapter “Sexy Girl.” Now You know I hate to lose anything on purpose but seeing video game boobs? One step closer to the grave Lady Lu. If I had to add up everywhere I can’t go and can’t eat or drink these days; the Grim Reaper would have no trouble finding me. Businesses that support Trump, Walmart sucks like Target now. An Icee reminds me of a particular dog. Chicken sandwich wars and everything in-between SIGH.

My body feels like it’s on fire. Yesterday I climbed back into bed after breakfast for a twenty-minute snooze. Bullshit (LANGUAGE) I know but I’m a damn addict when it comes to sleep, sex, and STUPIDITY. If I haven’t mentioned it before, that girl Nour from Bury me, my Love is hot. It could be so much worse, Lady Lu. You know I could get back into playing Virgin Roster or Casual Romance Club. There was also a specific game that got banned a few months back. I know you don’t judge but other people will. With that in mind, I’m 90% done with “Raphael,” and you know what the Catholic Church does. Stuff I can’t conceive, but this morning I have my firstborn waking up. Staying Ahead Of Will

I Will Have No Fear

Log 047 ~Will And Another Day~

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It’s not perfect, and never happy; I lost track of what’s normal a long time ago, but at least I’m not sitting in bed having this conversation, I got out of my room, sitting at the dining room dreaming of better. “Will And Another Day”

Saturday, August 17, 2019

Log 047 ~Will And Another Day~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now and still can’t tell how I feel. Didn’t I say a couple of days ago that, money is presence? One more reason that I’m not Trump; I have higher aspirations. Morals, a mother, a lot more money. So what am I doing to live up to such standards? The Day Job is always another day. Hell Lady Lu at least I’m not grunting most of the time. Going to work leaves me braindead and does that beat being horny as always.

It’s been a day and some change. I know you think I’m a pervert but here’s a list of temptation. I saw Nour from “Bury me, my Love” in her underwear; boobs, I swear. Jada Jinxx is offering her collection of videos for $20.00. Haley Pullos, liked I quoted that song “Sunflower.” I’ve seen Riley Reid dressed as a schoolgirl. Oh, and I’m still fiddling with that pornographic coin I bought. Come on, Lady Lu even Think And Grow Rich speaks about sexual influences if used the right way. Again I could list all my heroes that used such passions. Everything I do is on the premise of getting girls out of their clothes without paying a dime. Something better, getting others to pay me to see them. Books, Brothels, booking modeling sessions of course.

Any day that I’m not living such a dream is ANOTHER DAY. When I was at the Day Job, I was looking for a way to be brave. Again I quote this song, “so don’t be brave, have a little common sense.” What about “if it don’t make dollars, it don’t make cents.” Somebody else said, “chasing hoes don’t get you paid.” I want to be the third little piggy if you know what I mean “The ROC “Just Fire.” Music is a blessing, Lady Lu, but I didn’t stay in bed as usual. It isn’t a blessing knowing or being scared of what’s going to happen next. Glass half full or half empty, if anything there is only the glass. At least today, I have choices if my body holds up. Again the Day Job is work, humiliation, sleep, conversation, repeat; what about today?

I have a shot at three impossible things today. I could flip a coin. Wasn’t I looking for a way for “money” to turn me on? Will And Another Day

I Will Have No Fear

Log 040 ~Will And The Labyrinth~

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My life isn’t as interesting as Labyrinth and no way as sexy as “The V Game Series;” it’s only me against the wall continually smashing my head against it, and I’ll break before my Facebook Wall but then again? “Will And The Labyrinth”

Saturday, July 27, 2019

Log 040 ~Will And The Labyrinth~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now; can’t you see? Isn’t it ironic that it’s what I want everyone to know? Still these days the people that are looking at all. It’s the people who are making me out to be a clown. Besides Facebook, somebody attempted another hack last night. Those are the scariest, but the worst is from my son, my nephew, hell the man in the mirror. How I talk to myself all the time but please don’t let me be walking by a mirror and see myself, that’s terrifying.

I finished that book Beauty in the Broken by Charmaine Pauls yesterday. My life though feels a lot like something out of The V Games Series though. It’s a maze, and I’m fighting while everyone watches. I’m waiting to see which one of my sins is exposed first? What about people, running into my sister a few days ago. I go to the same restaurant for some reason feeling an obligation. Don’t get me started about September. I’m not a man of my word. October, of course, is “Indiana Gone’s” wedding. I’ll have to put my trust in someone to watch my kid. Dammit, I don’t even like saying his name anymore. The things I love are often weapons against me, that quickly. Sometimes I only want to disappear. Do I sound suicidal again, Lu?

I’m trying Lady Lu. I’m trying so hard to find other ways. It can’t be porn anymore; you saw how fast I gave in days ago. Even now thank you Instagram I found out about St. Mackenzie’s (School For Girls). It’s the things that bring us the closest to death that somehow grant life. The question is, how close do you want to get to such. Again last night, I started a new game, “Heavy Rain.” I feel so much better watching and playing than doing anything real. There was also the fact that I thought my PS4 had problems. I was looking at how I’m going to get to Indiana Gone’s wedding, a little vacay perhaps? At this rate, I’m giving out to much information you think. Everyone is looking, or one. Could be a damn robot wanting to send everything tumbling down whenever.

The only way I’m getting over these walls is a ton of cash. And not bouncing on boobs or watching them: Will And The Labyrinth.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 033 ~Will Makes Life Harder~

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The only thing harder than writing is, okay, I won’t go there but that and what I have devoted my life to both come out pleasurable in the end; today though let’s see if I have a problem that can trump the two, seriously? Will Makes Life Harder

Saturday, July 27, 2019

Log 033 ~Will Makes Life Harder~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now, so why isn’t cold hard cash enough? You know I’ve never held the delusion that money fixes everything? Indeed, money should make things harder because I have plenty of building to do. I say it often enough, brothels, photoshoots, resorts, strip clubs, studios. Not to mention everything that it takes to defend my new empire. It all starts with a pen or pencil in my hand, how my fingers hit the keys. Of course, you know what I have been holding onto these days; day one.

So I’m trying to find things that are harder than that, ha good luck. Well if we start with last night, Hank shot Connor. Relax, it’s Detroit Become Human; still, I hate to lose. If anything makes me despise humanity “It’s In The Game” it’s Hank. If you’re wondering about humanity “In The Desert Of The Real” I saw my sister and nephew last night. I never know what to do with my family; I fucking research Pornstars (LANGUAGE). Friends aren’t helping, though I’m happy for “Indiana Gone.” I’m still planning how to get to her wedding. As for my best friend, my son “B III,” he had a slight illness last night. Puking by the gallons and talk about changing dirty diapers or pee pads. It was hard having to keep him away because his favorite “sick spot” is under the bed… a mess?

Hell, I haven’t spoken to “Okay” in forever. Where else can I find a maid that I could talk out of her clothes one day? You see like that I’m always back to the porn from Hazel Ricotta to Alice March, OnlyTease Hettie, and others. The Devil’s Hand it seems, thank you Alycia Debnam-Carey and Adelaide Kane. Keeping myself in check is tougher than letting B III out twenty times to bark. Dare I say more so than Walmart Chicken Tenders, after twenty-four hours. How about avoiding awkward moments with anyone? I could tell my Day Job no or stand-up to one of the many men there and not some girl. What about being weighed down by some lost Facebook friend? Don’t even get me started on everything in my country that is going wrong.

“Wheels of Steel,” “Iron Will” from William Shakespeare, to the Conqueror and Will Smith. My dreams are gigantic, to hold them, Will Makes Life Harder.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0WWlXNTAaQ

I Will Have No Fear

Log 026 ~Worrying Winds Of Will~

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What’s the point of waking up to worry, to breathe so others can use such valuable air only to make you regret your last one and why not count my blessing of being near an AC? “Worrying Winds Of Will”

Saturday, July 27, 2019

Log 026 ~Worrying Winds Of Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now, and I still worry. I said a few times that the more you have, the scarier it gets. More money more problems like the song. You know I would give anything for such huge concerns. If you asked me what scares me the most these days, it would be my voice. I’ve never been one to blow hot air, to talk rather than breathe. To this day I can’t stand people that talk about A Quiet Place. You know, “why didn’t they build a home next to the waterfall?” People desperate for their voices, Lady Lu.

One day I need to write a review on that reasoning. Would it be any better than me talking at a Drive-Thru? How about talking on the phone? I swear if one more person refers to me as Ma’am? You know that’s one more reason I’m on Brainbuddy and I’m still screwing up. It says that overtime your voice becomes stronger, manlier, hell I’m back starting at day one. Positive vibes, I did do the exercises today and woke up on time. It doesn’t matter though because how do people see me, but that’s another good thing I usually don’t care. More to the point I’m worried about how people see our conversations, all of them My Lady. One more reason I’m not going for a paperback novel, other than being cheap or damn lazy?

Yeah, I worry about how much money fans in my hands. This morning I was nervous because I thought the AC had cut out. I’m a man that’s scared to call his Olds, and I shouldn’t have to because I’m an “adult?” Yesterday it was the fact that I almost killed B III because he was begging for BBQ and he looked like he might choke. Hell, I thought I might never get from under my sheets this morning. I’m always on high alert when I take Triple B for his walk. I can’t even carry “Lucille” to protect us because somebody ahem (white neighbors) might call the cops. The state of my country and I shiver more at the thought of my people like they say I’m not black enough. How about all those keyboard warriors than might read my cover blurb today ha?

WORRY goes on my list of triggers right STUPID, FEAR, but nobody cares for second or third right? Nobody but me, Worrying Winds Of Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 019 ~Additives Of The Will~

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Today, which is Sunday, I finished writing one more novel, I was in the zone with this 50,100, but the words weren’t the only thing I was addicted to; it could be worse, smoking or drinking perhaps? Additives Of The Will

Saturday, July 20, 2019

Log 019 ~Additives Of The Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now, and with money comes forgetfulness. I told A&W once that’s when you know you have cash when you’re not adding up every single penny. Hell Lady Lu I wasn’t counting up money but words, whorish characters, and so many weird obsessions.

It’s because of this I owe you an apology, but you know how I am. Sad that only a few moments ago, it’s Sunday now but yay Time Travel? Anyway, today I finished my book, and I was so eager I took Saturday for Sunday. Talk about being discombobulated, which I am right now. It’s always strange to finish one more book, and after the initial shock, I don’t know. 50, 100 words, and again once I got started, I was absorbed in work; this morning and then this evening. I don’t want to sound negative, Lady Lu, but I always am once the job is complete. Great joy and with great labor and of course I set up the “Mistress Director” in one of my other finished titles. Now, like Ving Rhames, the question becomes “What Now.” Yes, and before I forget, I am sorry for yesterday Lady Lu.

Anyway, yes, my story fucked me up (LANGUAGE). Strange that so many pretty girls didn’t make it through my novel. I don’t even remember if the Mistress Director died in another part, I will have to check. I read somewhere that when people see something cute, they become destructive. I could eat you up; I want to hug you hard, stuff like that. One more reason I’m a dominant and a sadist to boot. Not that such thoughts are wrong, understand, but I need to get back on Brainbuddy. Did I fall off the wagon; hell, I smashed it to bits this week. Street Blowjobs, Teen Starlet, Isaku, at this point I don’t need to write another novel. I haven’t been sleeping well, and when I do wake up, well sex wakes me up. You know 5-hour Energy screwed me over so many months ago.

Okay enough sex talk, I’m losing time over The Walking Dead trailer. If it’s not that after watching Marz play Detroit: Become Human, it’s been all gaming reactions. Guess I’m looking for someone else to be mad at, they play games; I write books. Anyway, I got through writing so next; Additives Of The Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 012 ~Can Only Learn Will~

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Last week around this time I spoke about motivation, but today it’s been all about wasting time despite all the writing that I got done, and I can’t say I’m too proud of it, but I can always edit; am I serious? Can Only Learn Will

Saturday, July 13, 2019

Log 012 ~Can Only Learn Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now, and I don’t believe in Newspeak. A few days ago A&W said that even during a zombie apocalypse I wouldn’t get along with people. I hate it that he might be white; oh, excuse me, right. Anyway, I would like to think I would be reasonable considering zombies, but why do I want the dead to rise again? For one it might help with the novel I’m writing these days. Yesterday I asked the question about today and well 5000 words.

Can you picture this though, a BEAST taking care of an Android that becomes a serial killer? How about discovering a cure for the plague through sex with two girls at the same time? We also have another missing penis. Two sisters surrounded, and the Basic Bitch forming a religious cult. Sometimes Lady Lu people shouldn’t be allowed to write, speak, oh, and did I mention sing. More reasons for the undead, with all the moaning and everything. I have all but forgotten how much sex is in this pornographic travesty. Ways to keep me out of trouble without boobs come few and far between sorry to say. So have I learned anything today besides the fact that when I say I’m going to do something, I get it done.

If anything, it has been a repeat of everything, Youtube and Marz videos. B III is sleeping his life away, which would be better than what dad is doing. Enough of the pity, some bright side news besides writing? Bugs hate B III’s meds so no trip to the vet but he could still use a bath. BBQ is still good though the best is farther away according to some. One more day of keeping my pants on but how long will that last? Damn, I would say I have to relearn everything from those motivational books if I had time. I haven’t even been listening to my money playlist anymore. Even at the day job, it’s time for some hardcore rap. It gets me in the mood to deal with A&W and Captain Maple Leaf. I like white women, but the men make me mad as Hell these days.

As the song goes, This Is America but at the Day Job and with the real work, what’s that evil word? STUPID, if only people somehow Can Only Learn Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 005 ~That’s The Willing Spirit~

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As the song goes, something so strong, driving me on, but I’m not the Best of the Best, as one of my motivations goes, I’m driven or perhaps possessed by the spirit of porno, talk about a god I could get behind. “That’s The Willing Spirit.”

Saturday, July 6, 2019

Log 005 ~That’s The Willing Spirit~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now, so it’s crazy I’m still in bed, well this bed. At least it’s not 2 AM, and the loveseat, no not again. Another 5000 words down counting my conversation with you. I don’t know what it’s been about all this week I have been kicking Camp NaNoWriMo’s ass (LANGUAGE) but what about tomorrow? Again these days it has always been 5000 words, and I’m not going to stop now am I? There’s nothing to say about this week other than writing.

Of course, I have to get up and adult at some point like yesterday. Most of the time I am sitting in bed, typing away, is this living the dream. No, the hope is to be doing this on my private beach until my family pulls me away. I got back in touch with M Anime after blowing her off awhile. Don’t even talk to me about my inbox or cleaning the house, though the bathrooms are holding steady. I got over my anxiety enough to try out that new BBQ place, do you remember the old Piggy Potato from Jim ‘N Nick’s? I have a new favorite, but I’m only saying that because I’ll get called out for my “Uncertainty” thank you Hemingway App.

Speaking of which when we last left my runaway story, the cosplayer is in trouble. Why am I even hiding it? Her name is Sabrina Nichole. The Bitch (LANGUAGE) that shall not be named is The Director. I have Court Carmody playing her PA. So I’m back to name dropping, or I’m too tired to hide a perversion here or there. Here’s a strange thought from The Matrix. Naming a blonde, brunette, redhead as characters in my novel, you can call me Cypher ha. I don’t even need constant fireworks to keep me up, two days ago and still going. B III isn’t too happy, but I’m with him on that, fireworks creep me out something awful also. Loud noises but nothing as loud as the voices running around in my head begging to know justice. Even now, I’m not too pleased with my reality.

The Day Job, which is why I am working so hard now, I could afford to take a few days off. I keep saying that don’t I Lady Lu, but there is something stronger? You know That’s The Willing Spirit.

I Will Have No Fear