Log 343 ~Want Is Just Another Virus~

Ignorance and Want only it’s nowhere near Christmas, I know, but if I ever have the money? Well, considering how I feel about the Day Job or the things I actually want to do for a living, I can tell you “stuff” I want. Want Is Just Another Virus

Monday, June 8, 2020

Log 343 ~Want Is Just Another Virus~

Hundred And Forty Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now… or how I want to be. Now, this is the perfect rule for right this second. It’s times like these, I realize that I have a problem. THEY talk about how “some” black men emulate Tony Montana. The Money, Power, Women, Gimme.

It’s no secret that this week I want, hell, I need money. I ought to be ashamed, Madam Justice. Only today (Saturday) I had a full day, and what have I done with it? To my shame, I slept, and Eric Thomas often talks about being willing to give up sleep. There’s also the fact I wanted that so badly I didn’t get myself a snack. How much will it cost to get over my fear of being awake? Even now, I checked out my schedule for next week and what do think I saw. SHOES, HOME & KIDS, dammit, I want money, so I’ll never have to listen to these STUPID people ever again. Now isn’t that the dream, and sounding like Trump? I do think having money does make you deaf. Of course, I hear everything which tells you all about my finances.

You know I’m one to quote Master Yoda, Fear, Anger, Hate, Suffering. Money leads to Power or the whole Rock, Paper, Scissors Dynamic. Power, Knowledge, Money. Money buys Power, Knowledge can take Money, Power crushes Knowledge. I want the power to not look STUPID. At this time, I want enough strength to stand up to my boss. Anger makes me sick, Madam Justice. I would say it makes me powerful, but here I am like a lamb to the slaughter and why? A Black woman and now ain’t the time.

What, for women? As Jake Morgendorffer put it, “God, God, Dammit,” how do you think I woke up after my nap? Drooling over “Specs,” Alyson Hannigan, and I’ll take a shot at saying Alison Rey because I need to stop looking at porn. I’m a master detective when it comes to that but can’t find one old lady, an electric knife. Even with NO FAP, I’m going crazy, and I want to… well, go off like a fire hose. I remember the words satisfaction is the death of desire, and that’s why I’m a dead man most of the time.

At least want shows I’m still fighting or about to. Want Is Just Another Virus.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 341 ~Someone SHOE Me, Will~

One of the worst weeks at the Day Job and that is saying a lot but I haven’t walked out for good, no not yet. Only with all this walking, I have been doing, why couldn’t I do anything a bit more constructive. Someone SHOE Me, Will

Saturday, June 6, 2020

Log 341 ~Someone SHOE Me, Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and more than ever, I want that private beach. There are pictures of me on a beach, not that I was allowed to keep any of them. Don’t ever ask me why I have no good memories of my childhood. I don’t have one picture to prove it. Now I don’t mean to be so cranky this Thursday morn or however long it takes to have this chat. By the time you read this, one of the worst weeks of my life has ended. Hell, how do I even keep score? Yesterday (Wednesday), I thought, no one counts days in Hell.

Of course, that was at the Day Job, the SHOE department. Talk about the Law of Attraction. Was this me talking about feet a few days back? Knowing the schedule made me think about my feet. Perhaps I’m feeling, defeated, yeah, not funny, I know. At least My Dæmon took it easy on me this morning. No walk for him, and shouldn’t I be worried? He hates getting old, the rain, and that I’m not sharing. Okay, for the moment at least. Speaking of walking nowhere, how about all the marches, protests, and riots going on. Running for Amaud, Marches for George Floyd, and we can’t forget about Breonna Taylor. Being Black in America, Lady Luna is something. The thing is I have a hard enough time only being me.

Do you want to take a walk in my shoes? If the Day Job is any indication, I intend not to wear any for plenty of reasons. Again the SHOE department is nowhere I want to be, and neither is Home And Kids. I would say I’m sick of running away and trust me, I am. Yet I want to be like Shaka Zulu, in some ways mind you. I want to stop running towards my bed and start running towards glory. With all this NO FAP going on (16 days, 21 hr, 42 min, 50 sec), I should be playing twenty toes. I’ll even admit to enjoying a bubble bath with a good book. Nowadays, I put my feet up for ten minutes at a time to read Too Late by Colleen Hoover. It seems though I still can’t keep up, even with my time traveling ways, what’s today?

Walk With Me… no Lady Luna, Someone Shoe Me, Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 339 ~Willy On A Prayer~

The day will come when you’ll never find me on my knees again, not for a job, a joke, the jerks of the world, etc. I was able to tell “God” no, so why can’t I tell everyone else and at the same time, the things I WANT to do. “Willy On A Prayer.”

Thursday, June 4, 2020

Log 339 ~Willy On A Prayer~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but it’s not because God granted it. There was a time I would have sold my soul to Satan if it could be done. You know I’m sick of relying on my parents, scared of my profession, and with “my” people? Yeah, I know I haven’t said much of anything when it comes to the plight, protest, or pandemic. Today should be “happy,” at least for my penis. Of course, I’m writing to you from the past (Sunday 31th). You want me to show gratitude… by the time you’re reading this, the week’s almost up.

Excuse me, Dirty Diana, for exercising some WRITE privilege. Yeah, not funny, but can we get to the sexy. I expect that’s how photographers are when it comes to their models. Do I have the balls to post than NO BOZONGAS picture? Forgiveness over permission. However, I’m no cameraman yet. No, I’m a Dominant, and that means I don’t have to ask for a fucking thing, doesn’t it? Though at this one moment, it would be for self-control. The stress is getting to me, and the week hasn’t begun, again it’s Sunday but too much. I’m asking Father Time for more time in a variety of ways. A former boss asked, why don’t I just quit. Because I talked to Inspector Echo today too and I’m busy chasing the money. Yet I won’t ask God to make a way, down on my knees. Of course, I enjoy others doing so.

Daddy, Master, Sir, the sounds of a young girl um a young woman on her knees begging. Honestly, though, I like the sound of my name; big surprise, I know. Why do you think women charge so much for that? I’m trying not to think about it with other events. After reading The Five by Lily White, I got into Reverse Cowgirl and a girl calling me Daddy. There was also that guy on Paranoia Agent, and do I need to mention other “gentlemen?” Shusaku and Isaku, ah my Hentai past. My favorite positions for girls, though, are Cowgirl and Doggystyle. Yeah, I’m not too keen on Missionary. Always though to have a girl, a queen, an angel, a goddess brought down to her knees. There’s nothing like it, DROOLS.

I’ve been on my knees enough to everybody else Dirty Diana, Willy On A Prayer.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 338 ~The Long Walk Will~

Should I have joined the protest… to be honest, it would be better than what I’m doing right now. I can’t fight for my own life, and here’s the plight of people who look just like me. “The Long Walk Will,” no I sit here until the Day Job calls, again

Wednesday, June 3, 2020

Log 338 ~The Long Walk Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and do you know why that is? First and foremost, because I sit my ass down and write, pardon my language. The second involves bedrooms or more to the point pretty girls in the bed. Inspector Echo I still don’t have body issues, and I haven’t entirely given up the idea of Onlyfans. Now that leads me to the third reason, I should be the man “standing” behind the camera. Needless to say, I don’t want to take another damn step.

As Detective Del Spooner would say, “Stop cussing, go home.” What, Inspector Echo, you didn’t think I knew other members of law enforcement. Yes, I’m counting the movie I, Robot. Do you know what I don’t need to number? The days this week, my footsteps. While I’m speaking of films, though, I wish I could say something profound like in the movie Just Looking (1999). You know how Lenny’s Dad said, I don’t sell shoes, I sell journeys. I’m all for doing that with my books. God, Inspector Echo, feet turn me right off, yuck. However, I’m trying not to kink shame. For me, it’s feet, unless you count My Dæmon, I love his little paws. Anyway for Al Bundy it was ahem “Big” women. Another shoe salesman. Now don’t get me started on women like Momokun, Katie Cummings (in specific videos). I haven’t spoken to Cherry in so long.

Forgive me for looking at something higher than feet Inspector Echo. By the time you’re reading this, the Day Job has wrecked me, no doubt. Don’t chase money. It’s what all my motivations say, but I’m still here instead of choosing my purpose, women once again. What about more movies and more books, like Judge Dredd? Writing a book is starting to feel like the “Long Walk.” I use my words to keep the law rather than go outside breaking it. Richard Bachman, aka Stephen King, wrote The Long Walk. Isn’t the internet so beautiful? Anyway, three more tidbits about feet which I’ll need to survive this week. I love my lists, so one, adding to my fetish for thigh highs, stockings, leggings, I like ruffle socks. Taking a walk in my past, speaking of stories Shusaku and Isaku. Finally, if you’re going through Hell, keep walking. So I’m sorry.

Sorry I’m not protesting too, laziness The Long Walk Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 336 ~Fear Plus Hope Equals Courage~

Last week I said I barely notice the Coronavirus (COVID-19) anymore, and I’m not alone in that. Besides all the fears that come with being a black man in this country. I have to find the courage to even get out of bed. “Fear Plus Hope Equals Courage”

Monday, June 1, 2020

Log 336 ~Fear Plus Hope Equals Courage~

Hundred And Thirty-Ninth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now… yep along with saying I’m hopeful. I’m sorry to say Madam Justice; all I have is the fear. Oh, and the lusts, I can’t forget about that. As the song goes, it takes two, but what do you get when you add terror and horniness? Isaku, Dark Shell, The Harvest Night? I would advise you not to look those up. So why even say their names, you ask me? Allow me this small luxury, it’s taking everything not to look at them myself, amongst other things. Tip of the iceberg I tell you but back to business.

I tell you every now and again, I am not a man of faith. At this moment, however, as the song goes. Please allow me to improvise, I’m a man of God with no need for saving. Hell, that’s the very first thing, especially with the current news, to live as I will, no allowance. From a concept to a prayer. For this week, I pray for courage not only for myself but for my son. He has faith I will return. You can even call it, hope when I tell him so. Through I shared fear sadly of the world beyond these walls, we combine our strength to survive. Madam Justice, I fear this entire week though, so wherein lies my hope. Dare I dream of my Six Impossible Things? Lies aren’t they, each and every week. I don’t hope I have good days. No, I fear that day when I’ll get myself fired.

So again, I’m looking for courage. Fear Plus Hope, but how about Purpose And Why. Here’s another song for you, Joy And Pain, as my aunt taught me? Here and now Madam Justice I am afraid, but I’m telling myself I will be better. Like at the Day Job last week, how I got birds slamming into the door now. How about the fact that my “father” is coming over? Fear can serve as great motivation, but it’s running with no destination, and your legs give, and you end up like me. Yeah, lying in bed, hoping that you won’t have to wake up tomorrow. What do I hope for, though, and that’s pretty damn easy to answer ahem WOMEN.

My purpose, but why? When can I tell the world that, to be that brave? Fear Plus Hope Equals Courage.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 334 ~Will The Track Star~

Didn’t I say don’t ask me about the Day Job? I asked the question, what would happen if I stood up? The answer, have a Panic Attack and run out the door. Is that what I’m calling it now, thank you WebMD because it beats cowardice. Will The Track Star

Saturday, May 30, 2020

Log 334 ~Will The Track Star~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but how much is Usain Bolt making? I suppose I chose the right profession if I became the next J.K. Rowling snickers. How about E.L. James, Stephen King, Tillie Cole, or my latest “obsession” Eric Vall? Well, did I even write to Lady Sophia all that happened at the Day Job on Tuesday? Let’s see if I can DUMB it down. On Tuesday the 26th, I asked the General Manager what I should do? She told me to process Amazon Returns. Ten minutes later, I had a Panic Attack and left.

What did we say about checking WebMD? Hell, what did we decide on making excuses? The biggest question is, what am I going to do with my life? As the song goes, I can’t live my life this way. What, in fear, am I afraid? How come I’m scared so GODDAM ALWAYS! Pardon the language Lady Luna, but this isn’t like The Eve of a Cherry. Not like I kept track of all the F-Bombs in that. Speaking of which, it’s Cherry’s Birthday on the 28th. Only did I mention her in any conversations before this one. Happy Birthday, Cherry. There’s so much to keep track of, My Lady. That’s how I was feeling Tuesday. My emotions were shot to Hell besides my fear and my anger. It was like being back in school, and the two bullies have my cap throwing it between them. Yeah, so I like hoodies.

So how do I feel right now? Why don’t you tell me, Lady Luna, how one schedules a mental breakdown? Do I talk about today, being Wednesday? The rest of the week, or what should be Saturday? Now my stomach’s in knots, the week hopefully employed, Saturday angry. No wonder I’m so tired? During the day, I’m running, from my father, from the Day Job, and even my bed. Of course, I’m sitting here right now talking to you. You could say I’m living the dream, beautiful girl in my bed, conversation, a good song. Dreaming… I have to fill my head with everything from well all the above. Money, writers I’ve read, excuses, music, Jeff Daniels, birthdays, Bobby Hill, more. I track everything because, in my real life, we’re just Dancing In The Dark.

Or running my Lady Luna, wouldn’t you say. Tired, Scared of Will The Track Star.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 332 ~Breast To Come Will~

I’m a simple kinda man but maybe not as the song goes, because do you know what I want more than bucks, bullion, and bottled water though that might be making a come back if things get better. “Breast To Come Will.”

Thursday, May 28, 2020

Log 332 ~Breast To Come Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but that doesn’t mean I’m paying for anyone’s boob job. Not even Dennis Hof was that generous. As much as I respect the man, I don’t know whether to believe him or Cami Parker, but I’m not giving a book review. Well, maybe a bit on Succubus Lord but not really. You see, I’m one of those people that believe everything happens for a reason. I can’t tell you why I’m into brunettes or the baby doll look of “The Innocence Of Youth,” “Daddy’s Little Doll.” There’s something about BREASTS.

Well more the lack of Tits, Jugs, Knockers. Cans, Dirty Mom Tits, etc. Only this morning, I was bringing up girls with zero to minor boobs. Isn’t it ironic that a girl with huge melons makes me dream of girls with none? Don’t ask me what it is. I mean simply put I’ve always liked Rebecca, Anaa/Alissa, Niquee, and Eileen’s bodies. Remind me, with all my billions to take a trip to Russia. I hate Trump, know nothing about Putin, but I love Yabbos of all shapes and sizes. My son is the same way, four legs and all. I even had to have a talk with him. To keep him off Indiana Gone’s pair at one point. I miss Karlee Grey’s as well. Though being honest, I let my Onlyfans lapse without a second thought. It’s the breasts I almost see or never; I miss the most. Cherry can tell you something about that.

Is that why I’m all into Call me a Legend. I know Dirty Diana. I’m still playing that knowing I’ll never see tits, virtual or otherwise still. It’s like a nicotine patch for smokers. The game gives me something else to do besides salivate. You don’t know how HARD it is to write about one of my favorite subjects in the world. Something so soft and then when you get to have fun with them. Anyway, as the song goes ahem, Diamonds and guns, DIAMONDS And GUNS as Call me a Legend has plenty of.

Only you know I’ll never quit huge Dirty Pillows. Yes, I want to fuck Carrie too, Chloë Grace Moretz edition. Her’s aren’t huge, but Boobalicious/Milk Junkie, whoa Mama. Here I thought I’d mention more Succubus Lord. Succubi, Superbia, Libidine, and Cupiditas. Boobies everywhere Dirty Diana the Breast To Come Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 331 ~The Writes Of Will~

I keep telling myself that writing is going to save me. One of my books, perhaps? Maybe someone will finally discover my blog and not think of me as a psychopath. For now, it’s a note by the time clock. The Writes Of Will

Wednesday, May 27, 2020

Log 331 ~The Writes Of Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and lie or not, I don’t want to be right now; lying. I mean, I don’t want to be jealous, flushed with cash, or sick. If you’re wishing for a goodnight’s sleep Inspector Echo, don’t check your Day Job before bed. I swear my “best” writing never happens at night. Now I know this is Lady Sophia’s calling. Only in a month or so, I’ll be celebrating my return to writing aka Lesson 001 ~Look Who Grossed Up~. I haven’t thought about that “Basic Bitch” in forever but as Herger the Joyous in The 13th Warrior:

“It’s all right, little brother… there are more!” ― Herger the Joyous, The 13th Warrior

More women… you have no idea how difficult it was not to use another “W.” Indeed, more words, more wickedness. So why didn’t I, you ask. Well, I know my Bible, Miss. I’m a man of God without a savior, as a particular song alluded to. I still pray for my son every day. Speaking of words that remind me, revile me or give me regrets, what is it about a “concept” like DAY? I knew a girl named “Day.” How I still love Rainey Summer Day, from The Five by Lily White. Only it’s like my addiction asks, “what will we do today?” After Class Lesson, Anna Vlasova/Alissa, and Eileen Kelly, aka Dawn Lora McKay in The Eve of a Cherry. Oh yeah, what about my novel? Am I ashamed that I use girls I know in my writing? Upset, I killed off, “Dawnie?” That Cherry inspired it, and I haven’t spoken to her?

“For a day in thy courts is better than a thousand. I had rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God, than to dwell in the tents of wickedness.” Psalm 84:10, the Bible

All I write about, I lose. The Law of Attraction being what it is, I should watch my tongue. Hell, I should watch my time considering the Day Job. One more piece of writing I have to do. Home and Kids, Shoes, my schedule, I only have two write one word. NO, or as the song goes, Hell Naw! Isn’t that what I always say when it comes to writing book reviews? I’ve only realized now I said I love Rainey and the book in general. What about Raphael and Succubus Lord? I am ashamed of the things that I’m not writing today. Inspector Echo, I am SORRY that I ruined my night. Forgive me for now hating the Basic Bitch. I apologize for my views on women and not doing better for my son.

Defending The Writes Of Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 327 ~A Will Too Far~

Last week I said I’m no good without a nap, and this week, I’m still angry, horny, and please don’t ask me about the Day Job, yeah I torture myself enough with that, and if I ever stood up? A Will Too Far.

Saturday, May 23, 2020

Log 327 ~A Will Too Far~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and some people would say that’s way too much. There’s no such thing as too much money, which is why MY country is the way it is. Now I don’t want to get super political with you. It seems that my nap didn’t help, but does it ever? What I’m getting at is, I have such grand dreams (when I’m not sleeping). Considering what I want to do with MY life, I take heat for the smallest things. So since I won’t give you the speech to my boss, let’s go over a few other things.

Yes, I still hate being a liar, but let’s start with my Day Job. AHEM I did not survive this “poop” to be treated like I’m stupid. I might yell at the next huddle at the lot of them. Hell, if it hadn’t been for that one lady asking about my kid, I would say, I hate all of them. So what about my kid? I know he must be sick of his old man spending all his time writing. I still love him like pancakes, but here he is sleeping, knowing it counts as quality time. He loves his walks and wishes they were longer. I hear him often enough. Now that explains why I got the worst night’s sleep. I swear my bed at this point might as well be a trash heap. A fly was making the rounds all night buzzing. I thought there was a beehive above me. Wouldn’t that be awesome, and no “honey” to show for it, makes sense.

Now on women, today’s the first day of NO FAP, again. 1 day, 5 hr, 14 min, 30 sec to be precise. I saw Lisa Peachy right after napping, so I hopped out of bed. There are reasons I can’t do Brainbuddy or Covenant Eyes. My wheelhouse, my writing, their writing. Lady Luna too much information, am I right? Nobody knows me, though, and the ones that ask. Well, they stop talking to me. Even here, I put up a Spotify link, but as the song goes, I gotta enemies. It’s like I’m behind bars in one sense or another. I’m trying to keep the Beast in, keep the Boy out, and end up being a Bastard, pardon my French.

Freedom Lady Lu, now that is A Will Too Far.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 325 ~The Way Up Will~

As Aerosmith once put it, “Love in an Elevator,” now that’s something to put on a “certain” list though I’m sure my collection has a few examples of it. If I want it to happen, though, I should get a few other things up first. “The Way Up Will.”

Thursday, May 21, 2020

Log 325 ~The Way Up Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and even more if I start thinking with the big head instead of the little one. Well, I’m here, aren’t I? It’s Sunday, and I’ve traveled four days into the future. Yes, I hate the Day Job, my dick is up more often than me, but damn there’s always boobs.

Boobalicious/Milk Junkies, what I would give to be so creative, to touch, to feel. No Dirty Diana, the name of the game these days is profit. Hell, I’ve been all over Onlyfans these days, but I only talk to boobs I “know.” I’m still on the concept that a woman has to aim higher with me. My brain, the beat of my heart, someone who makes me want to surrender my bucks. Speaking of which, if I wasn’t so busy trying to sell books, I would want to review hentai. Wasn’t I talking about going all body-wise myself when it came to Onlyfans last week? The things a lack of Fapping leads to, but again being Sunday, I’m still going strong at eleven days. I didn’t even break out my Fleshlight yesterday. You know I get all into sex toys and “stranger” fetishes of mine.

Now I don’t mean the “Boobless Wonder” Anna Vlasova, aka Alissa or Rebecca from MarvelCharm. It doesn’t bother me at all, only you know that I can name other models, of course. I’ve even gone back to MILF Dos a time or two, and you know she has an impressive set. She’s a good girl, a good woman I should say and wasn’t I talking about holy women and kimonos last week. So what gets me higher than that Dirty Diana or more to the point who. The mind reels.

Some time ago it was trains and buses and now Love in an Elevator. Kininaru Kimochi 1-3 but the fourth one? I guess someone got bored, but I will never get tired of TITS. I could sit here today for hours telling you every single movie. From “Debbie Does Dallas” to the Discipline series. Using sex to make money is not a hard concept… okay, I did not just say that Dirty Diana. My point is even Think and Grow Rich, talks about harnessing the sex instinct. On top of doing what you love, motivations.

So where am I going, what’s The Way Up Will.

I Will Have No Fear