Tag: Fear

Log 172 ~Will And Unfinished Productions~

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Will, I honestly leave so many things unfinished at the end of this year, indeed the decade; I still have eleven days to come up with some final words, and no not like that, I’m not done yet. “Will And Unfinished Productions”

Friday, December 20, 2019

Log 172 ~Will And Unfinished Productions~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that’s because I can close. The truth is, I’m also a writer, and that usually means starting in the middle and fighting my way out. Now I know where I’m beginning, Second Circle Creations. You also see the ending, but that’s better left to “others.”

I call myself a traditionalist, but you can also add perfectionist. Most people would say there’s no such thing is perfect. Well, I’m also a Star Wars fan, and it was a decade before I was born. When it comes to the path I’ve chosen for my life, it begins with one word, Willie. I’m sure I’ve told you the story, the first words I ever remember writing. Afterward, running to my aunt and asking what did it say. My name, and since then, it’s always been about what other people think about what I’ve written down. Even the title, the word Willie, it’s how I identify. How about as in giving somebody the willies. I could talk about the guiding force in my life, which of the seven deadly sins directs. Where there’s a will, God’s will, Iron Will, the “wheel” of destiny, or steel, what is my Will?

I want people to read, and yet I don’t publish any books. People have made it quite difficult for me to speak. My words, if they don’t find stagnation in my files, are sitting in police cabinets. Lost to me on a young woman’s blog, I don’t dare go to ever. There are the ones that die in my mind as soon as I think of them. Some I wish that I could take back. You can see last night as an example, smarting off to my mother, then again? Lady Sophia, I even hid my thoughts from yesterday morning from fear of being abandoned.

It would serve me right with all the stories that I’ve left wanting. The thing is I don’t want to be like “My President,” my words coming back to bite me over and over. I don’t want some universal hatred like the Game Of Thrones finale, (sigh). Every day I play Far Cry 5, and my character dies in the STUPIDEST ways (shudders). I don’t want to be like Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker and leave myself so unfulfilled.

The truest sentence, that’s me, not Will And Unfinished Productions.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 171 ~Pay For The Willies~

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Is it me or do these post get longer, of course, Thursday should be a fun day but it’s still dark outside, my eyes are heavy, and that’s probably to make up for the lack of weight in my wallet. Pay For The Willies, sigh.

Thursday, December 19, 2019

Log 171 ~Pay For The Willies~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but how is that possible? Well, it’s no secret how I want to make my daily bread. Does that make me somewhat religious? Hell, what does anything sound like these days? Yes, I’m still upset I paid for nothing more than pretty words, $50.00 exactly.

I ask you to pardon me as I’m not at my peak of horniness. Dirty Diana, I am always exhausted. At the time, it’s taken me 40 minutes to get rolling. Do you know what that is in sex time? Now let me be clear; I have no problem with sex work. I’ve never paid for it, let’s say directly, but here we are. How many erotic novels have I bought over the years? I still have over $2,000.00 to go on my substantial investment. I paid $300 for a woman to do some modeling work. There is $200.00 still tied up at The Moonlite Bunny Ranch. A $100.00 or so to a Cosplayer. What about $40.00 for the starlets? There’s been $100.00 more from Girls Gone Wild to Japanese hentai. I should also mention good security, time, and humiliation. Should I be talking to Inspector Echo about all this? I did a bit, especially the latest $50.00 for nothing.

Maybe I want to talk myself into making better life choices. Every dollar is precious, and if I wanted to see a woman naked, ha, that’s as easy as breathing. I don’t have to look for oxygen and between all my social media? Still, I want to be the one writing those books, I want to open a brothel, I want other people, paying to see boobs. Even when it’s not direct, for example, I’m going to see Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker tonight. Oh, I mean, Rutting Ravishing Rey, Racy Raunchy Rose, and even Cute Courtesan Connix, SIGH.

“Lust is to the other passions what the nervous fluid is to life; it supports them all, lends strength to them all ambition, cruelty, avarice, revenge, are all founded on lust.” – Marquis de Sade

Le Marquis de Sade is right. Only what was it I asked yesterday, as the commercial goes, what’s in your wallet. Well, what wonders await me under the tree? It’s not like I even have a tree. To quote another song, ahem, Everyday Will Be Like a Holiday. Money, power, and then the woman, as Tony Montana put it, Dirty Diana. My “heroes” knew how to combine the two. Again, Money plus Power equals profit.

No, I’m only being a pervert, paying for my latest will, Paying For The Willies.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 170 ~Stupid Synonyms, See Will~

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As with last week, another early morning, and as long as it doesn’t cost me $50.00, I’ll consider it a win, unlike yesterday, along with the cash I lost three hours, another playing Far Cry 5 and countless losses. Stupid Synonyms, See Will.

Wednesday, December 18, 2019

Log 170 ~Stupid Synonyms, See Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now; otherwise, I would be mad. Well, I am Ebenezer Scrooge, and I’m still stupid after my visits from the ghosts. The Spirts of Stupidity’s Past, Present, and Yet To Come. Yes, I needed another S-word to get me up this morning.

I could always use more sleep, and my marathon nap wasn’t enough. Inspector Echo, don’t freak out, but sometimes I wish I could sleep forever. No, I’m not suicidal, but you remember last week how screwed up I felt over some words. Now I hear prettier words, and I’m poorer by $50.00. Long story short, for once ha, I was talking to this well, scammer last night. He, She, It, spoke about selling pictures for $50.00, now you do remember the previous model I had? Money well spent; anyway, this scammer talked me into opening my wallet. What’s in your wallet, not that $50.00 I was saving for a night of Star Wars. Oh, you know I’m still going, but I’ve spent about $110.00 this week and not a boob to show for it Inspector Echo. Well, do I count?

Not if you’ve seen me play Far Cry 5 lately. How many times have I died in the stupidest of ways? What about the number of times I’ve missed that fuel truck? The variety of poor life choices that can show up in an hour? Now that includes wasting that hour playing games and the three prior sleeping. I’m not having a Super Mario 64 temper tantrum like yesteryear, at least that was with my “father’s” money. Then again, what do I need money for when I do stupid things like repeating last night’s mistake.

Okay, I am trying to be a businessman. Looking for a new maid and getting talked out of $50.00. Oh, what I could have for that but what about My Dæmon. He cost me $90.00 once for stepping on the zipper of one of my hoodies and “hurting” himself. I love him, though, but what else do I love? I can’t discuss it, but the “heart” of the matter is I lost money on a promise. Last week didn’t I say, don’t treat me like I’m stupid? Last night I went ahead and proved that I was, didn’t I? Morning gratitude, I learned my lesson.

I’m sorry it cost me $50.00; Stupid Synonyms, See Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 168 ~Want It, Work “Freaking” Harder~

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I wonder, is my Mom be proud of me? My Day Job is nothing and how I wish to earn my bread well; in either case, I never feel like I’m working hard enough and she’s not getting any younger. Want It, Work “Freaking” Harder Will. Happy Birthday Mom

Monday, December 16, 2019

Log 168 ~Want It, Work “Freaking” Harder~

Hundred And Fifteenth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or I should be, I know. Okay, before I begin, ha, I want to say Happy Birthday to my mom. If she ever read this blog well, better not to wish that at all. She doesn’t want to see the “man” her son has become. I’m not Martin Luther King Jr by any means, but I Have A Dream. Well, I did last night, which is quite easy to interpret. One more reason to laugh, I was going on a date with Sabrina Nichole and some other girl. Sabrina was “tethered” to me, and I was embarrassed, so I unhooked her, letting her run into the green.

It was a green mountain Madam Justice, thick and luscious. I don’t know about the other woman, but I kept my eyes on the prize of Sabrina. She was traveling through and made it to the top with ease. She is waiting for me and ain’t I the funny one today. Anyway I get stuck in the green, I’m not moving at all, I can’t climb up. I can’t resist, right myself to stand or even rest. This morning I’m still exhausted, but I got up a lot easier Madam Justice. Okay, what is the point of the dream, Higher, Further, Faster baby. You know what I can say about women but still “Family-Friendly.” I even changed the rule ever so slightly, but yeah, the truth is the truth. I could also quote Scarface to tell you what my dream means, but I’m not dreaming.

“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.”

I will admit yesterday was a setback, and I didn’t even have the heart to keep fighting for what I wanted. Madam Justice, I barely watch wrestling when it’s on TV, so why try stealing it by looking for streams. I could always pay, publish, or perchance do something else constructive, like reading. Playing works too as I advanced in Far Cry 5 last night. I finished The Widomaker and Valley Armed Convoy missions. Back to the point of today, though, to quote another movie. “If you want to be somebody, if you want to go somewhere, you better wake up and pay attention.” Here I am Madam Justice, way before “Waking Up at 4:00 AM Every Day Will Change Your Life” I want it.

Rhyme or Crime, Fire and Desire, as the kids say, we want the smoke so, Want It, Work “Freaking” Harder.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 167 ~The Will To Urge~

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Well, I have no urge to celebrate Christmas as of yet and if anything, the call of sleep continues and nothing is stopping me but me and a bottle of water, a can of pink lemonade, a bunch of chips etc. “The Will To Urge”

Sunday, December 15, 2019

Log 167 ~The Will To Urge~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you have an urge to be so. The want, the wish, indeed man the will. Why else would you be up at this moment? You have every reason to stay in bed, the right, hell you rage. How does the poem go, rage, rage at the dying light, well more like the coming? Don’t start with the sexual innuendos, one more battle you lost this week. Okay, so we’ll get to that, but first, I want to talk about urges. Should we call it more, an addiction to the acceptance of an average life, ahh motivation?

Almost there you urge, like last night playing Far Cry 5. You almost made it to that bridge, or to that ranch. You nearly bought your mom a present or purchased the right NaNoWriMo T-shirt. How close were you to finishing “Accidental Santa” but decided to play on your phone? In your life, FEAR is the second most urgent thing. We go again with Far Cry 5. Fearing to lose, so what happens? You make yourself sick with it every day. Hell, if fear wasn’t there, I don’t think you would know what to do with yourself ever. If you want to know your number one urge, though, you need only look to the Marquis de Sade. Now that’s a name you haven’t thought about in a while though you took his title. How dare you compare your horniness to such genius as it keeps you from Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 005 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Reducing My Inbox To Zero
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”
    Completed

Perhaps I stand corrected, but a 34 is still an F, the last I knew.

Still, it beats a flat out zero, and I could have finished #4 if it wasn’t for the urge to sleep SIGH yesterday afternoon away. If I got more of it, though, #1 would not have been a problem. Honestly, I screwed you over with #1 last night checking out you know who rather than resting. These numbers are getting confusing, especially at this hour. Horny is one, Fear is two, but the urge to be STUPID. It’s always such an ugly word, but there it is, as “Weird Al” Yankovic sang, Dare to Be Stupid. Only I want you to tell me. Will do you have the urge to be wise? Not to be your life coach, but where’s the urge to win, conquer this week’s Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Getting My Second Car Fixed
  6. I AM Finishing The Book “Accidental Santa” By Celia Aaron

You’re better I know it, feel The Will To Urge.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 166 ~A Peace Of Will~

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Peace is not in my possessions, pants, or any person I‘m thinking about in any particular way and of course, my gaming habit is all about warfare and pushing a lot of buttons but pieces of life? A Peace Of Will

Saturday, December 14, 2019

Log 166 ~A Peace Of Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a billionaire right now, or why don’t you tell me when? It’s that time of the season or getting pretty close, you know Joy, Hope, Peace, maybe Live, Laugh, Love? Of course, I have a rule, # 13 Power Is All That Matters. I still stand behind it, Lady Lu. My favorite word must be SLEEP, and this morning, it was touch and go. The fight continues, and that’s the point today; it goes on and on. Yes, I’m trying to form a new habit, but I wish for Peace.

Far Cry 5 is the perfect example. What was it, only the year before I was all Detroit: Become Human and now my latest game. Anyway, I continue to advance, but here’s the thing, I don’t know-how, wow. I was playing last night fighting to take back Nick Rye’s plane, and all of a sudden, I’ve seized John Seed’s Ranch. When I went to liberate Fall’s End, the battle was over before I knew it, quickly enough. I was finding peace without even trying, now what about my life? Not even in my bed anymore. My pillow has become the enemy because there is too much work to be done. Now I go into the Day Job; that is no place for peace. Every day is not like a holiday, but more “You’ve Been Marked.” It’s the warning John gave.

Now, of course, I am reminded of Eric Thomas saying, “Sleep is for those people who are broke.” What time is it; he goes on to say, “you’re in a financial transition.” Well, I even saved money the other day though not by choice. R.I.P Red Lantern, why must all the places I like to eat, go out of business? Couldn’t I say the same thing about my budding writing career? What about my “modeling” hires or my search for a new maid. Those aren’t the reasons I’m losing sleep. Nope, I’m losing sleep because I want to live the dream of being a writer before going on to live a nightmare. Well, My Lady as I complain about sitting here fending off exhaustion while My Dæmon slumbers. The war, which is life, seems far.

Is this what they call Peace of Mind? Now that is what I’m seeking, and I believe all the money in the world would bring? Priorities A Peace Of Will

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hlxlX0_fTE

I Will Have No Fear

Log 165 ~Someday Will Reviews Sunday~

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I could be working on a Character Bio, how about reviewing Raphael, or talking about the book I’m currently reading, Accidental Santa, see I can get into the Christmas spirit when I’m not complaining, oh no. Someday Will Reviews Sunday

Friday, December 13, 2019

Log 165 ~Someday Will Reviews Sunday~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and the reviews are in, wealth makes you a decent person. In America, money makes you the best type of person. One more reason I want it all, and that makes me sound like an average Republican, I know. The problem is, in looking for that voice, I only have my own. For this week, indeed, my life, that hasn’t been enough, if I even use it at all. Again, I should be working on one of my characters, but instead, should I review myself at all?

Now that’s what my dream could mean. Do you remember the show, Rocko’s Modern Life? There was this episode “Skid Marks,” where everybody says, “Don’t Get The Fat Guy.” Anyway, I keep hearing, yeah, my stupid ear, but there’s an echo singing out “the little naked man.” I hope I can still post this, but I think it’s talking about myself. Let’s say after yesterday, if I dig in, I can get 50% of Six Impossible Things. I swore yesterday I was thinking about what it would take to be a good father, a son to be proud of, and a great man. Instead, I wrote excuses why My Dæmon doesn’t need this or that; didn’t I screw up this week. I’m only now remembering I need to buy my mother a birthday present. Yesterday I made a list of stuff “I” wanted but with a little help from FTWD? Well, that’s the reason I’m looking at half of my Six Impossible Things, instead of four. Maybe next week?

So good things about the man I am this week, minus the other physical ailments? My motion sickness is getting better. Look at me, Lady Sophia, is this my usual waking hour from now on? When I become a success, I can worry about waking up at a decent hour, 4:00 AM, for example. I kept my mouth zipped when it came to Cherry. How good a friend was I besides something else? While I’m still attempting to hire people, I didn’t jump at the first opportunity. Oh, more on my motion sickness, I’m learning more and more about Far Cry 5 daily. Anything I get into I study, I gain the facts, what works, what doesn’t. The thing is I write myself off as a failure but haven’t tried myself.

120%, Someday Will Reviews Sunday

I Will Have No Fear

Log 164 ~She’s “Maid” For Will~

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Well, this took me longer than my previous post, but when you do what you love or rather who and did I say love? Isn’t today supposed to be all about lust and of course, not making a mess? She’s “Maid” For Will

Thursday, December 12, 2019

Log 164 ~She’s “Maid” For Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and it’s all because I cleaned up my act. For the record, it’s been a hard week. Yes, everything is going to sound sexual today. On the bright side, my ear is beginning to feel a bit better. It’s incredible what the human body accomplishes with the mere prospect of sex. One more reason I want everything I conjure up. I’m alive Dirty Diana; my desires, like writing, it’s breathing for the soul. Sex nourishes the body, though people think I talk too much shit.

Now I’m not one of “those” types, but I am learning to appreciate ass all the more. If a girl is walking away, she’s not teasing me these days. Dirty Diana, I respect women, you know the things I have done when it comes to the fairer sex. Hell, I had a maid, and I would clean the house before she would ever step foot inside. I have studied a woman more than I ever have for any test I have taken in my entire life. Let’s not forget all the ladies that have cleaned out my wallet over the years. Some days I’m even tempted to give much more. I’m not a made man, but being a writer, I have created women well more like personalities of them. It makes me think of all the erotica writers I know, but that’s more Lady Sophia’s problem. So what’s yours? Other than stopping me from watching “Adult Supervision Required,” Brooke Logan.

Honestly, I like her scene in that more than when she fucked Ron Jeremy. Didn’t I say I study women? Six Impossible Things or Six Degrees of Separation. Looking up Brooke Logan, her “maid” uniform a match for MILF Dos. She’s hurting, I can’t ask her to model, but I know a pornstar that looks like her. That adult entertainer gets me to watch, The Innocence Of Youth DVD. Those outfits make me think of Alice Little and Anna Vlasova, ahh alliteration. The wonders of Alice as in wonderland and I go tumbling down the rabbit hole. It gets dirty, and so I think of cleaning up but then again.

Six Degrees

  1. Brooke Logan
  2. MILF Dos
  3. Porn Star
  4. The Innocence Of Youth
  5. Alice Little, Anna Vlasova/Alissa
  6. Alice In Wonderland

Now to shower thinking someone somewhere, She’s “Maid” For Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 163 ~You Don’t Willie Know~

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One more early morning and I don’t know what the day holds, however yesterday I would have chosen to skip a two-minute conversation or better other two words instead of feeling like I’m STUPID. You Don’t Willie Know

Wednesday, December 11, 2019

Log 163 ~You Don’t Willie Know~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now; I sound so sure of that, don’t I? If anything, I was feeling glad yesterday. Well, all it took was one woman to snatch it away. I’ve said it before, and I’ll repeat it here, DON’T MAKE ME FEEL STUPID! Inspector Echo I apologize for getting loud, especially at this early hour. THEY admit it takes 21 days to make something into a habit, right. For the record, it’s day three, and it was easier waking today, especially with an extra hour thirty. I’m still waiting for that Ben Franklin truth.

Now that is my point; why do you think I am continually seeking out knowledge? Is it wrong to be ambitious, to want to better my lot in life? I’ve finished two books this week, one by Dale Carnegie another from Natasha Bender. In the spirit of family-friendliness, I’d advise you don’t look up one of those names. Anyway, I know so much; that’s right; I said it Inspector Echo. As one of my motivations says, I am wise. I will rise, I need no guise. So I will not disguise the fact that yesterday, some black lady hurt my feelings. Am I playing the race card; yesterday the president is looking at impeachment. Look, I understand that hate is colorblind, but it’s always people that look like me SIGH. “My people” who bring me down the most as always.

What is this all about, “diabetic socks for men.” Am I not making sense? So this lady comes into the Day Job and asks, do we sell those types of socks? I’ve never seen them, so I say no. She says, “compression,” so I mull the term over, and she says, “you don’t know,” and she walks off in a huff. Talk about wearing my heart on my sleeve always. That’s one more reason I’m still running, and I’m a stickler for time. A moment to think, and I end up feeling like a moron. It doesn’t help that I’ve been physically running away these days. I’m waking up super early as Eric Thomas suggests so I can get somewhere, but it’s not to the fight. The faster I move, the quicker the day ends. I’m sorry I don’t take the time to see the man in the mirror Inspector.

I say it’s all FEAR, but You Don’t Willie Know.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 161 ~Be A Man Of Action~

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Something that both heroes and villains have in common; they both take action, and while I want to say I’m 49% to 51% if anything as the song goes, I’m only a man a good one, a bad one, maybe alright but lights, camera. Be A Man Of Action, Will.

Monday, December 9, 2019

Log 161 ~Be A Man Of Action~

Hundred And Fourteenth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and if this morning is any sign, a man of action. Let’s start with the Six Impossible Things. Sad to say, I’ve already failed at #2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves. Numbers 1, 5, and 6 I’m handling. #4 is doable, and #3 well, there is a reason I use the word Impossible. Look at the time though, think of the day that lies before me, the choice I made only moments before. Begin each day with gratitude, isn’t that right? I’m grateful I woke up, for my weird dreams, and Far Cry 5.

Yeah, if there is any action I take on the regular, it’s complaining. I’m on the Easy setting and still, almost got killed. How much time did I spend learning the controls? My Motion Sickness was a smidge better. Now, didn’t I say something about weird dreams? I don’t want to sound like the President or offend any veterans. Last night/this morning, I was dreaming about Vietnam? Here’s the offensive part, that’s how I view my life. For right now at least I’ve volunteered, I don’t know whether it’s right or wrong. If anything, I only “want” to serve. By the end of the day, without a doubt, I’m going to be in some “less optimal” state. I won’t be the same man that’s talking to you right now, Madam Justice, that’s for sure. How did Jada Cato put it? “It all went downhill after I put my pants on.”

Again gratitude, here and now I’m doing something I enjoy even if I’m tired. At this rate, I could knock out two of my Six Impossible Things before the day is over. I’ll continue working hard for my son, and I’ll get some more tips to play the game tonight. These all need to become habits instead of falling for whatever joke the pillow wants to tell. If I stay busy, I don’t have time to worry, or that’s something I learned from Dale Carnegie. Get busy living and all the rest from The Shawshank Redemption. Didn’t the movie “Young Einstein” talk about being a man of action? Of course, I can’t forget King Ezekiel from TWD. There might be something to my love of movies and the zombie genre.

Media, swimming, run boy run, Be A Man Of Action.

I Will Have No Fear