Tag: Man

Gospel 139 ~Will Wants To Lie~

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The more things change, the more they stay the same, let’s see, tired at 2AM. Not being the hero but rather humiliated all-day. A sleepy puppy, check. Where is his mom again? Hopefully watching another Walking Dead spinoff. Will Wants To Lie

Tuesday, November 17, 2020

Gospel 139 ~Will Wants To Lie~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so that means I’m a damn good liar now. Only I’m not the “Lord of War.” With the businesses I’m running, I’m never going to lie to you about that. Only I want to lie like some kid saying I’m not sleepy, but it’s after midnight. You won’t ever have to worry about lipstick on my collar unless you put it there. I’ve been in the study writing. I want to lie and say things are going well. But besides lying to NaNoWriMo about reaching my quota… I did after midnight. It wasn’t a good day.

I want to lie and say it was, though. I don’t like making people feel down on themselves. Yet with what I did then and now, it happens. Inigo Montoya puts it best with “Humiliations Galore.” That’s what happened all of today, and it sucks. Exhaustion comes fastest when you’re trying to forget everything. And I want to lie rather than tell you the story. At this rate, it’s even too late now. I want to lie and say I’m not to blame for everything, but when has that gone well for a man ever? Yeah, I messed up, ha.

Speaking of messing up and naps, when the kids lie down to sleep, I want to read them stories. You never know, maybe when they grow up, they won’t need to play Detroit: Become Human or Far Cry 5 in their heads. They lie happily.

I know that’s a curious way to put things, but I want to lie like my Dæmon. He cuddles up to my side, and there is no place else he rather be. Ok, I know this STUPID to compare you to my fur-baby but do you feel that way. Just lie here, forgetting the world. I want to lie like those men that know what to say to their wives. At the same time, I want you to be so “passionate” that I end up sleeping on the couch. There is are so much stuff that I haven’t experienced. However, having someone lie to me because they love me. Aren’t we always watching The Walking Dead series? To be more specific, The Walking Dead World Beyond. I don’t want to lie like Meat Loaf with Paradise By The Dashboard Light.

What time is it again, Love? Will Wants To Lie.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 138 ~Trying Is Addicting, Doing Rehab~

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As Master Yoda put it, do or do not, there is no try. The legendary Sean Connery talked about losers “trying their best,” and I won’t say anything about a prom queen. Trying Is Addicting, Doing Rehab. Can somebody tell my fur-baby, but not his fault.

Monday, November 16, 2020

Gospel 138 ~Trying Is Addicting, Doing Rehab~

Hundred And Sixty-Second Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or I would be if I were a doer. How I wish I could tell you I’m a doer right now, Madam Justice. I did read one of Eric Vall’s books. Another 15% is done. Before I came to talk to you today, I wrote 1900 words for NaNoWriMo. While I still haven’t caught up, I’m on par, and what’s the magic word today? I’m TRYING. Let’s not even discuss addictive behaviors; the things I had to do to get today’s writing done. Besides, canceling wrestling tonight.

I can’t say I was in the mood tonight, considering I read the Day Job’s schedule. Yeah, you know anger is surpasses “almost” every other emotion. Don’t get me started on Six Impossible Things, either. Again, I TRY and play by the rules, and what does it get me. Dammit, I do blame myself that I didn’t make the bed this morning, and so I climbed right back in. What about trying to give my Dæmon his meds today. Now that is a job that must get done, I heard in a song once. Only he is trying my patience. Yeah, didn’t make the bed. Let me get back into the Day Job, though. As always, I continue with humiliations galore, being something that I’m not. I’m not moving forward; I am running for my life from life. The novels I read and shows I watch are wrecking me daily.

At this point, there is not one thing in my life that I’m both liking and doing well. TRYING, though, even if it’s something like not being addicted to failure. For what successes I had today? I woke up bright and early, shut off my alarm, and jumped right back into bed. What the Hell am I DOING in my life? That’s a massive question. M. Anime texted me, but I still haven’t gotten through all her audio files. Meanwhile, the spam keeps flowing. I wonder how much I’ll find when I get around to posting this at what. 11:00? Now that’s being optimistic. If anything, I excel at DOING nothing, which makes me sound a lot like Ralph Wiggum, “That’s where I’m a Viking.” Speaking of Vikings, I always waste money on everything. Yep, games, and other “miscellaneous” activities.

But writing tonight, Madam Justice, do I feel any better? Trying Is Addicting, Doing Rehab.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 136 ~Don’t Stop Will Now~

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Last week I said that I couldn’t get 5000 words down… AHEM 5400, but it’s past midnight, and at this rate, I might as well be all Forrest Gump “since I’ve gone this far.” Man cannot live on a cup of popcorn shrimp. Don’t Stop Will Now

Saturday, November 14, 2020

Gospel 136 ~Don’t Stop Will Now~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and to be honest, I’m not having a good time. More Money, More Problems, as the song goes. Well, with one-word irk, “Writing.” Allow me to be a broken record in this, More Writing, More Writing. Indeed 5000 words Lady Lu. I owe you an apology Lady Lu because you see what time it is 11:45 PM. Yeah, I was having too good a time until 2:00 PM, I suppose, when I decided to start working. I’m still in the hole by about um yep another 5000 words. Only I promised.

Last night, I said I would use this weekend to catch up. If I keep up this pace? As always, I know that I can get it done if I want to. That’s like saying I can finally get My Dæmon to take his meds. I still haven’t found a sure-fire method for either being real. Now, as far as writing goes, okay, one I know I can get this done if I simply buckle down and do the damn thing. Two, I don’t know why I’m trying so hard when I know how I’ll feel with the end result. Three SIGH, I’ll pay for a NaNoWriMo shirt. Why do I want to earn it so badly? All I know is right now is that everything hurts, and if I stop for a second, I’m never going to get this done. Now that scares me because it’s like the Day Job. If you’re going through Hell, you don’t stop for anything ever. Enjoying the view?

It’s why I tried my strategy of “Build The World In Thirty Days” for once. The title could use some tuning, but in my story, I’m only going between the United States and the U.K.

So NOT around the world, and I’m definitely not saving it, not my limited “Willpower.” One of the motivations I once listened to would say you only need three words. “Whatever It Takes.” I could also add to that “Burn The Boats.” While I’m looking for inspiration, it would explain why I’ve been watching Star Trek: DS9, Pacific Rim, DBH.

Hell, I’ve even been getting into the jams of the “cult classics” ha-ha in Far Cry 5. What’s one more pop culture reference AHEM, Where The Red Fern Grows Lu. God pushed over my tree, “WRITE,” Don’t Stop Will Now.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 135 ~Will You Behave Please…~

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Last week I talked about real people yelling, and now it’s a bunch of people I have created. At least “my character” was just a gravedigger until he discovered the right/wrong body. Better to read from great writers, hmm? Will You Behave Please…

Friday, November 13, 2020

Gospel 135 ~Will You Behave Please…~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I still intend to follow the law. Okay, that’s a lie, sort of Sophia. I’ll go all “Cult of Ralston,” like in Eric Vall’s book. Yes, I’m still reading, and I have a God awful amount of writing to do tonight. The Dæmon isn’t helping. However, I could say the same thing about my phone. You know I still haven’t gotten around to listening to all of M. Anime’s messages. There’s a reason I don’t use Dragon Naturally Speaking. Also, I’m always listening to music or videos from wherever SIGH.

The good news is; I’m starting to enjoy reading again. I’m repeating myself, but after two books leaving me “freaked,” Eric Vall has been a welcome change. Now It seems my days have been filled with new and old books being shoved in my face, more procrastination. Even the bottles on my Dæmon’s medication are welcome. Only my hands are always smelling like hot dogs. Today I had to almost throw the gate to block his path of escape. My Boy has become quite the connoisseur when it comes to his food. I should be. Sometime tonight, we’ll get to that or maybe next week? I’ve got dinner to make, and I was so looking forward to a nice grilled chicken salad with all the fixings. It beats looking at another bucket of chicken Sophia.

A grave is a human bucket, right? I don’t know if that makes any sense. Only my characters in “Sinning The Cherry On Top” aren’t either. Can I say for the record? Um, is it wrong to talk about my novel in a particular genre? I won’t dare compare myself to some of the greats. Last night I spoke about how Trump crept into my book. You should turn away if you don’t want SPOILERS. So the gentleman looking to bankrupt The Moondust is a father “avenging” his daughter. Someone blackmailing politicians at The Moondust.

Interestingly enough, all these people are way smarter than me. We have Dr. Sarah Annora Haven. There’s also the wife of the owner in Evie Gabriela Bennett. The father, Mr. Fae, but I still need to come up with more of his name for sure.

I’m not a doctor, I like intelligent women, and I’m not British. No, I’m more like my character, a former gravedigger. Will You Behave Please…

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 133 ~Sink Or Swim Will~

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As the saying goes, sweat, blood, and tears, along with plenty of other stuff I rather not talk about because I’m much too weak. The only good news is, it allowed me to work on my book with no distractions. “Sink Or Swim Will,” too bad I don’t drink.

Wednesday, November 11, 2020

Gospel 133 ~Sink Or Swim Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I could probably afford the top-shelf booze. If anything, I would kill for an alcohol problem. Okay, I know that’s pretty offensive with the people I know. Still, at this juncture, as Emperor Palpatine put it, “I’m too weak.” In other news, I got back to working on my book. How do THEY say the end justifies the means? Only I wouldn’t count 2000 words as a victory, but it’s way more than what I give on an average day, to say I did.

From sweating about my book to someone else’s. K Webster to be specific. Yes, I know it’s been about a week now, but that book is still messing with me. The most I’ve done on Goodreads is report a spammer. Yet here I am, worried about reading some second book. Yes, this is Lady Sophia’s thing, but after K Webster, I got into A.J. Markam again for peace. So why did I almost cry at the ending of the fourth novel? I believe I brought up Ian and Alaria. Spoiler Alert as the music crescendos, “And she’s dead, she’s dead.” Discombobulated… I don’t know if that should be a hated word or most liked one? How about procrastination because? Besides everything else, I have been drowning in emails trying not to talk about anything. Oh yeah, just like yesterday, right?

I could blame all the dog slobber trying to get my Dæmon to take his meds. I don’t know what to tell you, Inspector Echo, but he’s got it into his head that he hates it now. I cry over books, but never him. He’s my son, I love him like pancakes, how about syrup? Interesting that it may become a rare commodity with the way things are going on in this country. It’s like a flood of crap, and that’s why I’m losing my mind to the fiction of everything else. Have we talked about COVID-19 lately? Should I head to a dentist soon? The masks won’t last forever, Inspector Echo. Now since my eyes are decent, how do I expect to ever find the Maggie to my Glenn. Yeah, I should stop that train of thought right there and say Happy Veteran’s Day? Does that sound right, Echo?

I was in Navy boot camp once, but couldn’t swim ever; Sink Or Swim Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 132 ~Will Love Ever Tire~

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I’m a tired black man; that’s all I can say about today. Only it’s not like I’m a hero or anything. I’m the father of a furbaby. How I envy him and all his nap time today. I want to find him a mom, but tonight, I want to sleep. “Will Love Ever Tire?”

Tuesday, November 10, 2020

Gospel 132 ~Will Love Ever Tire~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but does that make me a modern-day “superhero” hmm. First off, HELL NO, and second, you know I’ve always been one for the villains. When Iron Man and Captain America had their Civil War, you would think I’d back Tony Stark. Again no, I was all Steve Rogers. The thing is, they both never stopped trying for those they love. God, the songs popping into my head now… “Well, I won’t give up on us.” “Only a man in a funny red sheet. Looking for special things inside of me,” etc.

Now it could be the book I’m reading about Ian and Alaria. I’m still on the fourth one but the things he goes through with her. She became a robot. A man shouldn’t have to ask to be a man. Everything else they fight about with him trying to set things right in the world. Maybe it’s the idea that I hate secrets like Zorro and Elena with everything that happened between them. You don’t know how tricky it is to keep your mouth shut. Okay, I’ll rewind that, I mean to say, keeping myself from saying something incredibly stupid. I’ve been writing my book (yeah, right), and I have Bastian and Evie fighting. It’s all about the man Bastian is with his father and how he came to be. Indeed, what she is becoming to stay with her family.

Bruce Wayne spent his days alone even when he had Wonder Woman, all because of fear. He has plenty of enemies, sure. Only do you not think seeing his parents die together affected him. Well other than going all Batman? His views on relationships, yep. Superman didn’t get tired of Lois Lane but being himself. How about if he didn’t have the whole, truth, justice, American Way. Clark Kent didn’t have to save the world. Now yes, he had to go back to that indeed because what else was there for him? In the end? Of course, I have to cover the villains or close enough—the things Bill did to Beatrix. Edmond Dantes gave into everything to forget about Mercedes in his quest for revenge. V gave Evey choices, as in V For Vendetta.

I’m saying, I’m tired, but in love, always and forever. “Oh, baby I love you, just leave me the fuck alone.” Will Love Ever Tire.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 131 ~Greatest Rulers, Warriors, Aren’t Pure~

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I’m the boss of a fur-baby, I say, as I open the door; how many times? I’m not the father of the year, hell as a guy in general, I’m alright. For him and I, and whatever woman shows up, I want everything. Greatest Rulers, Warriors, Aren’t Pure, right

Monday, November 9, 2020

Gospel 131 ~Greatest Rulers, Warriors, Aren’t Pure~

Hundred And Sixty-First Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I want more. Only who am I these days, to go talking about, let alone doing anything to go get it. I work for my Dæmon so that he can have a better life… Oh, so that’s why I left the Day Job early. How about a nap for a while?
You know that I want to be a good man Madam Justice. I’m not talking about “God, family, football,” you have The Best Man Holiday (2013) to thank for that. To be honest, Madam Justice, I am still trying to find the three elements that shape me as a man.

What I know is that everyone I see in any position of power has to hurt someone. Seems the wealthy live in a maddening state of damage control. They believe that in the end, their righteousness outweighs the evil. It’s one of many reasons they always cling to faith. In a world of things, I can’t stand, and indeed there are many. These two words, AHEM, the “Greater Good,” infuriate me. I’ll put them on the um, hated words list if I remember… like the rest of my terms. Biden and Harris are the Greater Good. I’m glad for the victory. They knocked out a Devil that would do me harm for an evil that might benefit me. I voted for my benefit even if it could do others harm “Snowflake Trumptards.” Only I won’t pretend they’re the Second Coming.

I was reading A.J. Markam’s novel today, the fourth one in a series. Anyway, so you got Ian the Warlock right and his former demon Dorp. They were arguing about him using people. He does good things ultimately to the benefit of himself. Lacking Abnegation? Yeah, Madam Justice, I can’t talk about the book I’m reading. But let’s throw in Veronica Roth’s “Divergent,” get it because of the Abnegation reference. Abnegation was the ruling faction, and you know how that turned out for them. Now, what faction would I choose? Dauntless, of course, was the bravest and the strongest. Erudite Madam Justice, the smartest, the cruelest, the ones that took Chicago hmm. Funny how my 161st rule ties in with the 13th, “Power Is All That Matters.” Madam Justice, I want to rule my life.

I could go on from The Factionless to Captain America…

Greatest Rulers, Warriors, Aren’t Pure.

“You two just don’t see it. Everywhere he goes, he uses people. And sometimes he uses them to help other people, but ultimately it’s all to help himself. He wouldn’t help you, succubus, if he didn’t find you so beautiful. He sure didn’t help me.”

“I do use other people. I try not to, and I try to help others out, but I fuck up sometimes. And I fucked up royally with you. I’m sorry. I know that’s not good enough – I know I have no right to ask you to forgive me – but I wanted you to know. If you want to leave now, you can.” ― A.J. Markam

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 129 ~Will’s Done Getting Over~

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First, let me say AHEM “WAY TO GO JOE AND KAMALA!!!” Okay, while America now has the people in place readying themselves to fight what’s coming, what about me? Joe won the presidency, but I couldn’t get 5000 words down? Will’s Done Getting Over.

Saturday, November 7, 2020

Gospel 129 ~Will’s Done Getting Over~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that’s only the second biggest lie I’ve told today. If you’re looking for a third AHEM, “I’m going to write 4600 words today for NaNoWriMo.” I did accomplish a feat Lady Lu, around 3800, and you know I want 5000. I wish I could give you my best General Hummel impression (The Rock, 1996). “Well here and now, the lies stop!” Oh My Lady, have you heard the news. Joe Biden won the Election defeating President Trump. What will the comedians write about… we’ll see?

Now speaking of writing and forgive me if this is a bit rushed. You know I want to hear what the next old white guy in charge has to say. No, I’m not forgetting Kamala Harris will be the first woman, Black, Asian, Indian Vice President. How many other things? Now, didn’t I say at some point that I was sick of so many people talking? Here I am hearing a collective sigh of relief, the breath of life, celebration. And everything in between. Of course, the Trump supporters are in an uproar, and I’m sure M. Anime’s expecting war. Right now, all I truly want to do is cuddle with My Dæmon. Now, where is he, you ask? We’re having a disagreement about his medication, and so he’s locked in his room being stubborn. Like father like son, so he’s learned from the best, which is my compliment now.

Okay, if I have to give myself something else, I’m still keeping up with my reading. I’m no longer sticking to a time, says the man that wakes up at 4:00 AM but doesn’t start until 5:00 AM. I read 15% more today, and I’m a little ahead if you think back to K Webster. Yes, her latest book is still haunting me, though I did go a few hours without thinking of it at all. Some books are marriages; others are affairs or even relationships. Her book was a one-night stand that was exciting and creeped me out at the same time, never again. Okay, what about my third in the Cherry series and here we go with me feeling bad about myself. It truly is a horrible story, and I doubt I’ll get back into it tonight. Could I use the Election win as an excuse, you think?

Ha, Will’s Done Getting Over.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 128 ~Will The People Please…~

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Didn’t I say something last week about giving up social media? First, it was all about voting, and now not ten minutes go by without someone yelling, and then I have characters from about three different books. Will The People Please… hell if I know.

Friday, November 6, 2020

Gospel 128 ~Will The People Please…~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or I will be before I’m dead and buried. Not so funny anymore with what I’m seeing and hearing on the daily. I’m as anxious as the next person, and I don’t know if everyone should shut-up, stand up, or say what they need to say.

I don’t care to read Biden is the next president as long as I don’t have to see Trump’s been reelected. HISTORY hasn’t been kind over these past four years. I remember when it was my favorite subject in school. Now, doesn’t that sound like me, living in the past? However, that explains the taste of my tea. It’s way past the “Best If Used By” date. Yep, I thought I would be a better man than I am now. I hate waking up at 4:00 AM, and then it’s 5:00 AM when I actually do something. I am grateful someone said thanks in TWD. In the game and not the show, we all can’t be Katie O’Shaughnessy. I know what you’re thinking, My Lady; I’m jealous. It’s more like I’m feeling determined with a clear head, and we won’t discuss why that is now.

Well, almost clear because I continue to think about K Webster’s book. I’m not ready for another vote so soon, and you know it will be the sequel. I imagine it will be like rereading Colleen Hoover’s book. Now that took weeks, and I would never reread it again ever. Nowadays, I’m back to reading A.J. Markam, and I’m on the fourth book in a particular series. I’m trying to convince myself that I was so tired yesterday and not bored. For once, I believe I’m telling the truth when it comes to something like this. It beats the alternatives. You don’t know how disgusting it is reading the word FAILED again. How about NaNoWriMo showing another gain of one hundred words. When I should be somewhere near 10,000 by this point. Even if I do have another victory, what will come from it… NOTHING.

Last night I had a dream about people reading some of the things I’ve written. My friends on Facebook remain constant, so I guess not. The dream itself, though, was weird. I was a trucker (rough and tumble), but I had a secret lab at a truck stop. As a matter of fact, all the truckers had labs like it was some sort of doomsday bunker. I kept speaking to myself, what am I doing wrong? Maybe it was about the load I carried, but for some reason, it made me think of my writing. It could be telling me I need to work on my delivery. How about the journey, and how long it takes with NaNoWriMo. Some people have already reached their goal in six days. Hell, I got real people, robots, republicans all bothering me, and why can’ I tune them out.

There’s so much to get done, Will The People Please…

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 126 ~Will Votes, A Shame?~

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If you only saw what I put in my novel last night… the things I can’t talk about and yet a hole in the head is acceptable. I need anything to take my mind off the election, but K Webster sure Hell ain’t it. Fantastic writer, BTW. Will Votes, A Shame?

Wednesday, November 4, 2020

Gospel 126 ~Will Votes, A Shame?~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now but at least not the one I read about this evening. I don’t even remember if I voted for K Webster’s latest novel in my book club. Speaking of voting, yes, as a BLACK man living in the United States of America, I did vote yesterday.

It’s a good thing I don’t have my “business” up and running. Even if I did Inspector Echo, I couldn’t tell you about it right now. As the song goes, “Why do the things I hate come so naturally?” What scares me is the fact that such Hate is not mine alone. Um, people suck. I voted for Biden and Harris, a democratic senator, a near-perfect Democratic ticket. The thing is Inspector Echo is that people are so full of Hate. They would watch the country burn and doom us. They won’t say something like BLACK LIVES MATTER, maddening. There’s a rule that I have Rule #4 Hate Will Keep You Alive. Of course, Rule #5 states Love Is Worth Dying For. I watched a YouTube reaction or instead listened, and the question was asked in World Beyond. What’s the strongest force in the world. The reactor blurted out, Hate.

I happen to agree with her, but Inspector Echo, I don’t feel so good. Now I know you’re not Lady Sophia, but that book today has me all discombobulated. Hell, I got a month to “pray” that the book club doesn’t pick the sequel to read, but I’m inevitably screwed. Well, I could vote, but I’m sitting here with a pit in my stomach over a novel, well, two books. If anything, shouldn’t I be worried about my country and that Trump could win? My senator lost; the senate itself lies in Republican hands still. How liberty dies, they say? At the moment, though, what’s freaking me out, besides my lack of writing, are these other novelists. K Webster, Colleen Hoover, W. Anton, and the list goes on. When did I lose my taste for this genre? I mean, I read Skye Warren, Lily White, Tillie Cole. I’ve read “guides.”

W. Anton wasn’t the only one? I tell you I rushed today’s reading because I couldn’t stand what they did to one protagonist; it was just… I’m sorry and ashamed of reading such, not enjoying it. Of voting, winning, or losing… Will Votes, A Shame?

I Will Have No Fear