Tag: Questions

Chronicle 352 ~ It’s The B’s Knees~

WillLeave a comment

B is the only thing, the only one, that I love that was pure and on the level. The books I read. To the art I like, games, music, etc. There’s always something wrong. B’s aunt? Um, besides her handing him food. Life with him? It’s The B’s Knees.

Saturday, June 18, 2022

Chronicle 352 ~ It’s The B’s Knees~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that should be enough to wake me up. While at the same time allowing sleep.

The day has only now begun, and it’s a test. But I am still up. There’s not much Lady Lu. I said something the other day about listening to motivations and finding a reason Lu. Well, something other than Yabbos. There is the promise of a new novel. But we talked about this last week. Lady Lunalesca. Have I made one move in that direction since? Being up before 5:00 AM for me and nothing else is a miracle. I don’t know how many times I’ll say it… Trump told about ten lies per day as president. But I’ll tell the same truth about as much and going on 503 days now. I miss my son; I miss Braxton today. This morning, the bee’s knees.

Okay, so maybe not. But mornings were undoubtedly better than how I’m existing right now, Lu. I’m fighting for every single second. And how am I doing that, you may ask? Well, there’s you, to be honest; Melina from Elden Ring. And, of course, such and such’s Yabbos. Now I’m drooling. At least that beats tears or doing that other thing… Man in the Mirror, sad. Everything I do these days that I would consider the bee’s knees? Everything’s no good. I almost forgot what was coming today. Well, other than me. I know Lady Lunalesca. Being perverted and gross? One more thing that is keeping me from falling back to sleep. If we finish this conversation before 7:00…, one more miracle. The bee’s knees.

I have equipment coming so I can cut the yard for a fur baby I no longer have. His ashes? Hell! You know my routine. If Triple B has been reincarnated? Today I’ll find… Virgil? Lady Lunalesca, I keep telling myself he’ll be a boy again. And if I found a girl? Well, then it’s true. Braxton will be waiting for me at the Rainbow Bridge or wherever. Me? Heaven? Considering what other thoughts make me feel good. But again, Lu, He Lives In You. Which is why I haven’t died yet. Lunalesca, I’m not staying because of the vittles. Inevitably, I’ll get some more books, boobs, and bed sheets. But those things ain’t helping. But they feel so good, Lunalesca. It’s The B’s Knees.

Gospel 352 ~Good And B Days~

503 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 348 ~B Needing A Vacation~

WillLeave a comment

I’m going to Disneyland… Disney World as a kid. Now I want to do a brothel tour or go to the AEE. The last time I left to go anywhere was B’s Aunt’s wedding, which was a lot of driving. But a life I don’t need a vacation from? “B Needing A Vacation.”

Tuesday, June 14, 2022

Chronicle 348 ~B Needing A Vacation~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I’m sure I’ve seen a lot of the world. But there’s no place like home.

Or wherever it is, Triple B landed. Has he come back yet? I swear the only vacation I took before you was when I was a child with my Olds and little sister. I left on a road trip once all alone to go to Braxton’s Aunt’s wedding. I meant to bring him along, but it was “The Distance?” Next to being thrown out by my Olds… (I was too old true) that time apart? Five or six days was the longest time for Braxton and me. I didn’t need a vacation away from my son? I sound like one of those crazy parents, don’t I? Braxton brought such peace. Only you want me to get away from my grief for a while. I can’t

Hell! Take a look around. I’ve dedicated my life to creating a life from which I never have to run away. I’m with a woman that takes me to Heaven. Children, the joys of fatherhood. I wanted a business that makes me want to wake up every morning. Do what you love “THEY,” say? They come here, read my stories, by my stuff as their vacations, and I don’t blame them. I remember when vacation was on the island of a bed. The floor is lava indeed. Sloth is one of my sins, below Lust, Greed, and Wrath; idle hands are the Devil’s playthings. I don’t remember the last time I felt anything but disgusted with myself. You know, in doing nothing all day long. And without Braxton to care for? Train up a child…

The last thing I want to think about is what my Ma said. Mr. No days off. I know, a laugh. Hell! If I take a vacation, it will be from being a good man. I’m full of jokes today, right. Like Kill Bill Vol. 2, “I’ve never been nice my whole life, but I’ll do my best… to be sweet.” I’ll put down my manuscripts, money, damn, my morals in exchange for making love. Uh, I want to fuck, and you know this, but at least I’m not crying or sleeping. Such is joy. Because I always have to be doing something. And as far as relaxing? Recovering love. For 499 days? As long as it takes. I love you. B Needing A Vacation

Gospel 348 ~A Moment’s Ennui Grows Regret~

499 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 345 ~What Will It B~

WillLeave a comment

The ideas keep flowing. 1600 words per chapter, 30 chapters 48000 words. 15 poems, so around 1500 words. Add Braxton’s eulogy at 500 words, and you get 50,000 and “The Will To B III. But how will I waste time? Sleep? I want tacos. What Will It B

Saturday, June 11, 2022

Chronicle 345 ~What Will It B~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means people wait on me. We’re all waiting on something. But in truth, I’m lazy.

Hell! I could use my “condition?” Only I still use “B.” I think about my boy, and any pain I feel is nothing by comparison. If I want to be punished… sleep, bed, blankets, warmth. Why not write? I both love it and hate it? All yesterday I was thinking about my next book? Yeah, I couldn’t keep a straight face… we’ll get to that. I’m sure B III would be giving me one of his looks. Anyway, so I’m thinking about fifteen “Braxton Stories.” Some of my favorites to the worst. You know me, Lady Lunalesca, me and lists.

  1. Meeting
  2. Who made who
  3. The choice
  4. Don’t die, mommy/daddy (Kill Bill Beatrix and BB)
  5. Just the two of us
  6. Make way for the king
  7. Guard Duty
  8. “Best Friend” Harry Nilsson
  9. The Plague Era
  10. This is us/life itself
  11. The Descent
  12. Voices
  13. About Last Week
  14. Goodbye
  15. Rainbow

You’ll have to excuse me, Lady Lunalesca. I’m firing off all sorts of ideas. Oh, I can’t wait. Like the song goes (Get Get Naked)? I’ll stick to my writing ideas now; thank you so much. Now in case, I haven’t talked about it before. My next novel will be told from my perspective and Triple B’s. “Triple B to B III.” How’s that for a title… thanks “From Straight A’s to XXX.” If I can stop thinking about hot brunettes, “Haley?” What about this Lunalesca? “The Will To B III” I like this one.

It would make the perfect follow-up to “My Turn To B III.” I swear, Lady Luna, I will be one of these pet authors soon. Well, that is if I can get out of bed. But how and why? (Laughs) did I make another eight bucks with my Stuff and Thangs on OnlyFans? No way, no how. I’m not looking forward to facing the Man in the Mirror. But here’s a spoiler alert; I’ll have finished another book. Filling my mind is always better than well “this or that.” No wonder I’m so tired. And yet I’m going to get up and choose a puppy? How about food, a Strawberry Frosty, Street Tacos, Blizzard. Rather ask, What Would Braxton Do than What Will It B.

Gospel 345 ~Good Morning B, Sorry~

496 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 341 ~Hope To B Kind~

WillLeave a comment

Kindness is not in my particular set of skills. It wasn’t in B’s either, being his father’s son. Though there was that one time, I had to leave him to go to a wedding… Hell! He was supposed to come to my wedding… he’d be the Best Man. Hope To B Kind.

Tuesday, June 7, 2022

Chronicle 341 ~Hope To B Kind~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But all the money in the world won’t make me forget. All You Need Is Love.

I need to get back into audiobooks because this music has me crying again. More time to think about more room in my heart. Not that I’m thinking about business. A great man once said, “we don’t love them hoes.” Of course, I wouldn’t call my employees such things. I like to think I’m kind. If not to myself, at least to the people I care for. Braxton’s returned? Not yet. I’m time traveling, speaking to you on a Saturday afternoon. A shocker, I know, right? I’m in bed, but at least I’m awake. Not seeing the fur babies today, not dealing with the Rebeccas, and a decent lunch. What was that I said about being kind to myself? Well (ahem) “When He Loved Me.”

Love isn’t what you say; it’s what you do, right? This is the second, maybe the third time, I’ve cried today. 492 days my love. With everything wrong with me, I’m surprised it’s not… Okay, better I don’t go put negative things out into the universe. Oh, to be kind. And you are baby girl, you are. I don’t know how many women would put up with me as I am now. Only it’s more than kindness, baby. Love. “Is there anything I can do?” Always from everyone, every day. Yeah, I’m not that popular am I? With all I am and what I do? I remember carrying B III down the stairs for a few months. Bringing fries back after work. Him beside me.

B III was too damn strong for his own good. “I hope he’s not like me; I hope he understands,” as the song goes. But he was. And with everything he taught me, kindness, love, courage? Goodbye… I don’t know what to think about this. I married a heroine, a goddess. Inevitably we were blessed with kids I named after those who were strong. Katniss, Tris, Ember, Luke, Leia, etc. I always remember my firstborn’s strength. But B III had more. It’s these things I hope to never forget. I hope to be the man I made him out to be always, forever. Be a man of kindness now… instead of one of mourning. But to you and our family, love. B Kind I Hope.

Gospel 341 ~The Walking Dead, Living Sit~

492 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 338 ~When Will I B~

WillLeave a comment

When will I be? The GQP talks a lot of S*** about when life begins. Most days I spend lamenting when my son’s life ended. Bad choice of words. Furry with four legs… no less my son. One worth living for because for myself, I still ask. When will I be

Saturday, June 4, 2022

Chronicle 338 ~When Will I B~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. So that means I should get used to being interviewed. But I find myself censored more.

When will I lose this Republican ideology? That’s not the question I meant to start with today, but I’m tired for many different reasons. Even getting up at 4:00 AM. Ok, and then? When will I start writing… well, anything for real? As I said, I struggle to get up. And that’s with January 31, 2021, and January 11, 2022. And now, Camp NaNoWriMo will begin next month. As I said yesterday, besides the urge to pee, there’s the need to write. When will I do anything at all? Yesterday it felt like there was so much to do. And yet I feel like nothing was accomplished. Not a damn thing, Lady Lunalesca, but missing my boy. Mourning Braxton is my PROFESSION. I’m no Spartan.

Willy, what is your profession? Lunalesca, there are so many places I can go with that. Am I talking about, Stuff and Thangs, OnlyFans, just being, um, skeevy. Fucking word! Luna? Is it the fact that I don’t know who I am anymore? Not even how to spell my name? My name? As if it were ever my own, to be honest. Hell! I’ve always hated it, so you know. What am I doing with this existence? If the last few minutes are any indication… Well, I was going to say wasting my time. My time? Nothing belongs to me. Or that’s what I feel. Every day there’s one more reason to miss my son. Now he was mine because he chose me above all.

Why? Now that is the question of the hour. Um, several hours considering what I’ve been doing since, yes, 4:00 in the morning. Now it’s 6:30 AM, and what do I have to show Lu? Why do I exist in this routine? It’s not even a Saturday routine. It’s the wake-up, write, and/or post. Either go to the Day Job, the store, there’s PetSmart, and it all leads back to this bed to do nothing in the slightest. Nothing is stopping me from staying in bed. Closing my eyes B. Why aren’t you trying to find me? I’ll never get his eyes out of my mind. Can you blame me for going to PetSmart? It’s where I’ll be. But to LIVE? When Will I B

Gospel 338 ~B The Dream Within~

489 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 334 ~The Questions To B~

WillLeave a comment

On January 31, 2021, Braxton asked, “can’t we go home, Daddy?” No way to convince me otherwise when the vet came out holding him. The look in his eyes. We asked a lot of each other, and now silence. Money is loud. Love is Louder? “The Questions To B”

Tuesday, May 31, 2022

Chronicle 334 ~The Questions To B~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now; doctors, school, PROTECTION, all for them, our children. This world, my love, the horror, the horror.

In truth, I’m scared of myself. Am I going to be all political today? I could cry some more over Braxton? I’ll do that anyway, him being my firstborn and all. But what’s the word still. Considering we’re talking on Thursday, May 26, 2022. This moment it’s the children. I’m halfway ready to pull our kids out of school and hire private tutors. What’s being done to little heads and hearts by the hands of evil men. Yes, the killer, but having billions, baby girl? I suppose I know something about politics. It always comes down to the money. But before you and me love, I suppose as the song goes… “First let me explain that I’m just a black man.” Stay black and die.

I’m Pro-Choice, Pro-Union, and I believe Black Lives Matter. Republicans are evil, and evil must be opposed. Democrats are idiots. No, they’re cowards, so more dangerous. Before you think I’m getting all-wise, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, 6×2 “Rocks and Shoals.” And The Walking Dead 7×05 “Go-Getters.” I swear I’m two seconds away from going all “The Cable Guy.” But I do know right from wrong. I’ve heard the way some say “Mental Illness.” I know the worst pain I have ever known in my life is losing my firstborn, my son B III. But he taught me what it means to love. Is that sad? My dad never gave me, um, The Talk. Only I remember talking to Triple B about his Aunt’s boobs.

I still believe that the epitome of manhood is fatherhood. Notice that’s my personal belief, and I’m not telling you or any woman what to do with your body. Well, our bedroom and business-wise, hmm. Some other time. And the question of B III and our story ending, sigh. I didn’t learn much from my Olds, though. Except money can’t buy me love. Braxton? I know there is no other him every day, so either this is forever, or he is out there, love. Reincarnation? I doubt our kids will be asking about that soon, ha-ha. Why’s daddy so sad? Because Braxton’s gone. Thinking of all the questions that don’t have any answers for them. But may they always ask them. The Questions To B

Gospel 334 ~Knowing Hell You Fear Heaven~

485 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Log 251 ~A Question Of Willies~

WillLeave a comment

When am I going to start back writing, when will I get rid of this “dang” humming? How long can I hold out this time, and will I ever read a book with an average guy with no issues, like my six impossible things. A Question Of Willies.

Sunday, March 08, 2020

Log 251 ~A Question Of Willies~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but you keep buying your books, BBQ, and sexual investments. We’ll keep it “PG” as much as possible today. Also note to self, being a southern man and all, I should know not all BBQ places are equal. Today’s was yuck. Now seeing today is (Friday) this subject would be perfect but of course, time-traveler. So I noticed a pattern this morning about you and recent books.

  1. The Gargoyle by Andrew Davidson (Loses His Accidental)
  2. The Five by Lily White (Can’t Control His)
  3. Lust by Ker Dukey (Hates His)

“What!” I hear you scream and then “Ouch,” finally, you cross your legs. Okay do you need context, we have the PORNOGRAPHER, who burns his off in a car accident. A DOCTOR who has to keep his hands off his subject. SPOILER ALERT, he dies in the end. Lastly, we have a college boy who has to film the girl he loves, having sex. I’ve always had this dream that I want a girl I love so much that I don’t want to film her; okay, instead won’t share what I shoot. It’s not Thursday, and don’t get me started on the drama I dealt with for what I said. Anyway, the question is, as usual, what is the matter with you? Yeah, you haven’t done anything yet, but if you follow in my footsteps? We steady on as always. Dealing with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 008 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Making The Bed Every Morning No Matter What
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Writing My Latest Novella
    Failed

Back to one, and just because you’re making the bed doesn’t mean you aren’t still sleeping. I haven’t mentioned the HUMMING in a day or so, but it’s still there. That’s something, while you’re contemplating the mysteries of “manhood.” You can’t keep running from this; you have to do something, one of many problems. Is it any wonder you are into audiobooks? You know what, that’s a theory, men who have lost their manhood for one reason or another. One man can love, but he can’t express it in such physical ways. Another loses control and can’t satisfy his girl. The third can please his girls but not himself until much later. As the song goes, I Can’t Get No Satisfaction, which would explain plenty of things. Well, what about not doing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Reviewing Twenty “GULP” Poems
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Making The Bed Every Morning No Matter What
  6. I AM Finishing Writing My Latest Novella

What about thinking with another part of my anatomy? Another similarity, these men faced death, all A Question Of Willies.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 349 ~Who, What, When, Will~

WillLeave a comment

This week I should have been asking the question of how much money am I going to make, but I still haven’t sent in my book. Hell, I trust writers of fiction but publishers and what about myself to be honest. Who, What, When, Will.

Saturday, June 15, 2019

Episode 349 ~Who, What, When, Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now but WHO WILL I blame? Karen Marie Moning for Mckayla’s Manuscripts and Miscellany. That’s from the Fever Series so is Barrons Books And Baubles. Vile. Vicious. Villainous. Vasiliev comes from The V Games Novels by Ker Dukey and K. Webster. Invisible, Impenetrable, Invincible or Resurrection, Redemption, Resolution, thank you Pepper Winters for Destroyed. Am I trying to explain my love for alliteration or looking for another woman to blame? I don’t want to be alone in madness, I guess. I can’t say my latest stylings have been kind. With all my efforts to win NO FAP, I’ve added 36 Sections to one Pinterest board. I can’t blame anyone for this but me myself and I. It did give me an idea for a new novel though, Camp NaNoWriMo begins in July.

WHAT WILL I write about, while the idea is still fresh in my head. As always, there’s a brothel, a doctor’s office, and a tattoo parlor; that’s new. A man is an executioner for a bordello, and he tells the stories of his victims through tattoos. I’ve set the stage for this through the thirteen tools of the Gods and my last tale. I’m thinking strings of DNA in the symbols. So what’s stopping me from writing this story right now or putting down anything? Yesterday I barely got out of bed. Of course, I can make a million excuses as the song goes. You know I watched an episode of The Handmaid’s Tale. Another thing? What do I get from spoiling things for myself? For this week it’s been Eden and Issac, love her and hate him of course. Have I had enough of the HEA, but I have such respect for Canada now.

When Will I go there or any other part of the world? How about those goals I wrote down, still proud to be an American? Nevada, California, New York and Sweet Home Alabama. Shall I once again travel through the world of my imagination? I worry about little B III. I still refuse to put these words out into the UNIVERSE. He couldn’t jump in the car; he’s slower on the stairs. When will I have enough to make women’s clothes blow right off? I suppose that’s enough social media for today Lady Lu. Don’t I know all of this right? Who, What, When, Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 198 ~Cold Outside, Willing Approval~

WillLeave a comment

I don’t need your approval, what I tell myself daily and part of that is because everyone has already agreed to the man they see now and God help me if I decide to change or if some girl likes what she sees in me. Cold Outside, Willing Approval.

Tuesday, January 15, 2019

Episode 198 ~Cold Outside, Willing Approval~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, though I can think of scarier questions, the first time I asked you out, will you marry me, how am I going to drive to the hospital during the winter months in the dark… praying for a summertime baby. I saw a movie once where this man said that a man doesn’t have to run around a woman, he tells her how things are, another man says he looked in the mirror and consulted with himself.

You know me baby-girl, or maybe you don’t, I’ll look at you longer than any mirror, my favorite thing on dates are movies, and of course, on Saturday mornings, lying here with you for two hours, maybe an hour, kids willing, listening to “Nuclear Pop.” Where does such a love come from, for you, our children, for dystopian societies and if I go by the logic of my first born “B III” I would say it was the moment I realized I was more scared of knowing you, terrified that anything outside could take you away, that I would have to explain everything. You see, you’re here, you see me when I can’t stand to look at myself, hear me when I run out of words from music, movies, and how many musings this year; is that the definition of love, being accepted for who you are, not needing approval?

How about forgetting who you are, and becoming what someone needs you to be, some Detroit Become Human right but no music today My Love, okay maybe a little but I go to work, and all day people are more than willing to accept me as they would have me but let me show them who I am? I’m done being the son my parents never wanted and as for your parents; as traditional as I am I would ask your father’s blessing but not his permission, I’m not looking for an alliance with France since taking French in high school. Having a daughter of our own, will I hope she finds a man like me… that’s why I want to be the man you need and every day I want to ask someone, anyone am I him, who approves?

It’s cold outside or don’t you believe me; Someday it won’t matter because as I begin every day, how to make one million dollars, fifty million, billion, five hundred billion but I’m not greedy and would the world approve of a man like me? At the end of the day you chose, the man you see before you, that you want, need, believe in, and love and It Doesn’t Matter what anyone else thinks because it’s Cold Outside, Willing Approval.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 107 ~All Will Be Will~

WillLeave a comment

Get well soon, nope, usually, it’s better to get Will soon, whether it be a fight at work, a reason to be fired, or some other calamity but the question is who will I be tomorrow, and who cares to know. All Will Be Will.

Tuesday, October 16, 2018

Episode 107 ~All Will Be Will~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, yet I Stay here with you, for a little while longer and I don’t worry, more like a wish that all will be Will… yeah for a writer, I’m sure many an English teacher will have a field day with that. I’ve done worst in English classes, ask me about my freshman year in junior college one day but I close my eyes, and I know all will be well if I can be the man you always love every day.

If I can be the man that everyday kisses all of my children’s heads and tells my furry little firstborn “good puppy, good puppy, be good puppy *gives him a treat* I’ll be back, I love you, be a good puppy, make good decisions, always make good decisions.” Could I say the same for myself as you kiss me goodbye, is there anything better to stop my words whether they be angry, negative, or complicated as people seem to find them and that’s when they come at all. Is there a better way to keep a smile on my face, the needs of the many as they say but For The Love Of You, I want to be me all of the time, even when I can’t see him, I still don’t like mirrors much.

Is it strange that I don’t like first person shooters either but “Far Cry 5”… I learn but my point is when I’m leaving, and I’ll never bow to any religion but I pray for my son, and now I pray for you as well and my other children; I believe, I know you’ll be Alright. Again I don’t feel that way most days, people ask me how I’m doing and I find that question so freaking annoying because people don’t care, so I say “another day,” and when I realize at work, I won’t feel my rage. When I’m out in the world and don’t rattle, or when the average person doesn’t leave me with the look of “REALLY” on my face. So I come back to you, and I’ll always ask how your day is going, but you don’t need to ask me, I know you care too but how was my day, how am I doing, how do I feel right now?

I want to feel like Will, I want to love my family, I want to know I have everything I need and I get out of bed not because I’m in a hurry, but because hell maybe Shakespeare had it right, parting is such sweet sorrow and knowing me that’s the only sadness I’ll cater to. I want to kill… for fun, Far Cry 5, Detroit Become Human, Fallout 4, getting around holiday time. Yeah, I can be a monster, trying to be an Eagle surrounded by turkeys, and as far as the Santa Claus question *sigh* we’ll get to it, me and my motivations; when I love you will do, all will be well and All Will Be Will.

I Will Have No Fear