Tag: Women

Episode 269 ~Was Will Calm Before~

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Calm or depression, I feel like I’m sinking and for some reason, I can’t remember how I kept my head above this muck, blood, sweat, and tears, or so THEY say; I hate the water, and that’s what keeps me kicking, did I sail once. “Was Will Calm Before”

Wednesday, March 27, 2019

Episode 269 ~Was Will Calm Before~

Forgive Me Echo,

How To Make One Million Dollars, I could start by cutting off Spotify, Patreon, Amazon Prime. However, strangely enough, I didn’t get into those things at the behest of anybody. Okay, so lovely boobs but let me continue. It was only last week I said I get into these things because of women. Now don’t get me started on obsession but when I get into something, writing still isn’t direct among them. I go full throttle, Nonstop.

When I was back in school, I fell into the Pokémon craze, who was I before? Now, who does my family prefer? The boy they made feel so worthless that he wasted hundreds on webcams? The one that’s so full of hate that he doesn’t speak to them. The one that spent more on Pokémon games, Gameboy, toys, more. Humiliations galore, having to walk back into that mall and return all that stuff. Now that was nothing compared to the Harmonic War, The Fall, The End Of The Rainbow, and dare I forget SWEETNESS. Girls are fucking Medusa (LANGUAGE). How about when I got into Alycia Debnam-Carey. In one of them, she was standing next to Alexa Nisenson. Then Almighty Pinterest sent some ominous warning. Days later I hear from my mom the police are in the area. I worry about everything there’s no doubt.

Fear, Worry, Guilt, but today is about obsession. Now I don’t even want to think about the Day Job. All the humiliations I have possibly endured inside my mind. Because today is Monday and I have to attempt to get out of a shift. Dammit (LANGUAGE) I don’t want to obsess about the Day Job. Only The Walking Dead 9×15 The Calm Before; you know how I’m addicted to The Lore of the Dead. Sunday I was researching any known gods of Flesh and The Carnival of Flesh from The Purge. Anyway and I’m not ashamed to admit this and why should I be. I ranted, raved, and raged, and shed a few tears for all those characters that died last night. Hell, I should become a reactor yeah, though it’s far too late or I’m pretty lazy, I know?

I take that show as gospel. It takes so much to disturb me, well media-wise. Undead heads on pikes have made my list. I even woke up “Indiana Gone” as I grieved. She knows of my obsession with the dead. Only like any drug, this was a bad trip. Inspector Echo, I apologize that I become obsessed with anything that I know doesn’t make me a loser. I ask forgiveness from five women; so far. It scares me Pinterest can think I’m depraved. I’m sorry for laziness and having my nightmares, Was Will Calm Before?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 267 ~Success’s An Option, Failure’s Not~

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What do I want at this moment, to get out of a shift at work and at first I would say I’m afraid; no it’s because I don’t want those “people” to get there rocks off making me stupid, that’s a success. Success’s An Option; Failure’s Not

Monday, March 25, 2019

Episode 267 ~Success’s An Option, Failure’s Not~

Seventy-Seventh Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars, as the song goes I’ve Been Everywhere girl. I’ve written love letters, tried songwriting, poetry, short stories, novels even more. You know it started with two words MY NAME. Again with my hypocrisy. I wanted to be a comedian, war correspondent, a pilot, a sailor, even the Secretary of Defense. I suppose if all these things have anything in common, it’s a need to escape. Rewrite the rules, and since I’m on a music kick, I want to Fly Away Madam Justice, I must.

As morbid as this may be, we’re all destined to leave this place one way or another. How many steps do we take while we’re here? I think I’ve seen the ocean, there are pictures, but I don’t remember. There were plenty of trips to Florida with my family. Why yes I’m about to sound like an ungrateful SOB. Only looking back on my life that’s like a prisoner being allowed to walk the yard, once a year. I’ve been to New Jersey, New York, Washington D.C. but these words Madam Justice. Not only the ones I write but the ones that echo in my mind. None of us are free. Now for the first time, I have to travel “On My Own Alone” well with B III, of course.

Do I want to talk about “Indiana Gone’s” Wedding? What about my success? My motivations always go on and on about finding out what you want? Yes, a bestseller, brothel, my slice of Babylon. I want to see the world Madam Justice. Still, here I am scared to death in my own “home.” So this leads me back to escape. Only do I want to outrun my fear, face it down and conquer it, live with it but dare to do so? If it’s not that, success is me wanting to find something but what? That I’m not as STUPID as everyone would have me be. At the moment I wouldn’t mind being Jordan Peele, going that deep with “US.” What about the meaning of life hmm. I found it.

Seek out a kingdom Worthy Of Your Soul. Now when did I forget that? My motivations say that the purpose of life is to be happy. So I could be looking for that. Dare I call that success? What’s one more song or movie, as Eminem put it “Lose Yourself.” I need to get Untethered from the “man” I am. In the end a Carnival Of Flesh or Gold, All I Ever Wanted. Well, a success I’m stopping with the music. With my life Justice, Success’s An Option; Failure’s Not.

I Will Not Have Fear

Episode 265 ~Hell Of Weak Will~

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I think I called this week exactly what I thought it would be and I was too weak to make it otherwise, even today and of course counting up failures is tomorrow’s business; maybe I need a new hobby. “Hell Of Weak Will” or a Stupid Will

Saturday, March 23, 2019

Episode 265 ~Hell Of Weak Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
How to Make One Million Dollars, well I still have plans to go to “Sin City.” What was it, last week, the one before? All I could think about was a bestseller, building, brothel, and babes. This week I instead not think at all or I don’t; that’s because I Am Stupid.

Being a traditionalist, I do prefer the “old-timey” HORNY, FEARFUL, and STUPID. That’s not to say that I’m against “SAT” words Abnegation, Erudite, Dauntless, Amity, and Candor. How I miss Shailene Woodley; of course, you knew I would go with Horny first. Don’t worry this all links in with my general stupidity. Having gone to the movies Thursday and seeing Jordan Peele’s “US,” I was disappointed. There was no sex scene with Lupita Nyong’o. What about the fact that I now know who Cali and Noelle Sheldon are? Yes, Lady Lu I’m going to Hell, but I haven’t looked for any twin porn; yet. No, I saved that for Eileen Kelly in Playboy. More the lack thereof, the hits keep coming, sadly like me Thursday.

It was too much Lady Lu, the fear I mean. My last panic attack was at the day job over cleaning duty. Before that back when I was another “redshirt.” The men of Star Trek make dying look so easy I mean the original series. Now there I was at the movies, shaking because I was attempting to make exact change. Such a fear bothers me more than looking up girls on the internet. Between Fear and Rage, my fear won. You know rage doesn’t think. Lady Lu, Fear is a fucking Brainiac (Language Please). Is that what “US” was talking about right? I may as well be one of the Tethered, no soul but all the rage coming topside.

So why am I too stupid to use it? Do you know why I call myself out on my language usage? One day I think I’ll find the courage and I’ll tell those assholes (really Will) No More. Allow me to be a hypocrite in saying that fear makes you smart and an idiot. It’s why I’m looking for a new vice, hobby, and distraction. Everyone needs something, makes us human or something close. I was too weak this week to keep it up, which is why I didn’t work Friday. Not the Day Job or my Purpose, nothingness Lady Lu, Hell Of Weak Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 264 ~Worse, Women, Writing, Will~

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My life is becoming more and more of a horror story every day, and I may take a pair of scissors to it, well more like a delete button; was I beginning to sound a bit creepy maybe? “Worse, Women, Writing, Will”

Friday, March 22, 2019

Episode 264 ~Worse, Women, Writing, Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, wonder what’s impossible and then do that. Next thing you know, you have people paying to have you put them out of wonderment’s misery. Some will relish the pain and will amaze themselves with what they think of next, no doubt.

Women make me wonder. You know all those that I read “every day” oh yeah? What you can’t blame me Lady Sophia, this week has been the worse one in a long time. No need for amazement why it wasn’t the cosplayer’s horror short that sealed my fate last night. Wasn’t the MILF’s story either but more her glamorous breasts which she hates. Why “women being women” a picture is worth a thousand words. When how I picture women ropes me into plenty of trouble. Well, I’m still waiting for all the nicknames to go away at some point. Won’t be going away anytime soon, I’m skeevy, a pervert, plenty that are way worse Sophia.

Hey, that leads me to the writing that I ain’t doing. How come, because the writer needs a break. Holy cow I must need Brainbuddy back, and I’m always letting someone down. Hurts me you know to even fail those bastards (LANGUAGE) at work. Hell if I’m going to be a “screw up” it might as well be with my writing. Here’s hoping I get better at this style of writing, damn Grammarly. Hemingway App is more likely the culprit. Honey is my writing getting any better these days. Ha, I should watch what I say to women and today isn’t Thursday. Hacking up whatever I want to say in some effort to sound sexy or dominant. He could be capable of such things — Hocking one more excuse not to be writing. Hectically I headed out to see Us yesterday, which was a confusing movie. Head games to be sure and where’s my doppelganger when I need him. Him, whoever would I be talking about today or tomorrow, a week.

Yesterday I was shaking in my boots, panic attack. You know when I wasn’t too busy being a special kind of dumb. Yipping, yapping going on in my ears and I don’t even mean the dog. Young no more but who was I before he stepped into my world? Yellow belly coward, B III has made me brave but at work, at the movies, life in general. I am yep yawning my existence away because I no longer wonder sadly, what’s Worse, Women, Writing, Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 263 ~Your French Girls Will~

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I have had so many muses, from A to B and they have all been pretty and wrong for me, and if it isn’t one bodily fluid, it’s another, sex and horror as Frankie Goes to Hollywood put it. Where’s an iceberg when I need it? Your French Girls Will

Thursday, March 21, 2019

Episode 263 ~Your French Girls Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, learn French and move to France. Hell if it worked for Benjamin Franklin, it would work for me. Only I failed French of course, too busy calling people “cowards.” What about that Time Machine construction seeing it’s Wednesday. Staying ahead?

Stories for another time but usually this is “sexy time…” How many references is that so far? The Last Dragon, Idiocracy, Katie O’Shaughnessy; so much to write Dirty Diana. Nevertheless aren’t I trying to be S Wolf, Todd Michaels, even the fictional Ian Anwell? Do you know what holy Hell it is to be surrounded by muses? In Ian’s case, he only had one but as for me? Yeah, I’m hitting that sweet spot between wanting to fuck Nonstop and being inspired. NaNoWriMo is coming up, and I have to be ready. At the moment I’m still thinking about “The Logos Girls.” Only Tuesday sigh it’s good I finally got my refund from Walmart. I have five words for you, “Eileen Kelly is in Playboy.”

Now if my video game antics have proven anything, it’s the fact that I love a good story. Give me a tale, and I would say I would give you my heart. No, more like my wallet as is the case of Eileen Kelly a.k.a KillerandaSweetThang. Why did I join Patreon again? Sure I wanted to see @courtscandyshop boobs. Just what made me sign on was getting into her head. Still, her story of abuse, assault, and a man’s amorality, turned me on. Fucked up for sure but no less so than most of the erotica I read. Except that’s fiction, I want a girl for body, breakability, and brains. However, this order is depending on the day and mood.

How many days has it been since Brainbuddy? As I said it’s almost time for some real writing. Only if I’m not getting that done, I should be reading. I don’t mean looking up Hannah Harper’s work in Funny Boners (2002) and Kill For Thrills. My apologies to the pornographic MlLF. Oh and there’s Amilia Onyx and Whitney Wright. Except for Hannah, girls with dark hair sigh but I should be sticking to the black words on the page. What Jack was able to do with Rose (In Pictures) I want to learn how to do with words. To be fair though he got to know Rose “biblically.” Now that is a language we all learn. Though when I was young, I believed the French excelled at that. So Hannah is English, Katie is Irish, and then we have American girls. Still To All Of You (women in general) today I’m not sorry. If it’s not panties, ball gags, or cocks going in your mouth, I would only like to write about you in some way. So what’s your story? Like Your French Girls Will?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 262 ~Side Order Of Will~

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I feel like chicken tonight, or is that all I have in the fridge, I saw Chinese zodiac symbols once and maybe I would prefer to stay a rat, I always feel like a pest, but no my name is still on somebody’s tongue. “Side Order Of Will,” no thanks.

Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Episode 262 ~Side Order Of Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, go hungry or more to the point of staying hungry. I’m still looking into the future, today’s the 15th, and I’m gearing up for Camp NaNoWriMo. Now, how embarrassing would it be if I didn’t accomplish this? Humiliating that I have all these ideas but nothing to write Inspector. So I’ll get the usual which is PORN. I would say Erotica, but I don’t want to lie or worse what if I take too long deciding. What if I can’t see anything, and you know my thoughts on right and wrong.

My mom taught me to never go to the grocery store on an empty stomach. She also taught me how to make tartar sauce, how to microwave cooked shrimp. Mom also introduced me to the Subway Buffalo Chicken. Funny I mention chicken because that’s my sin. The biggest one, this FEAR, COWARDICE, my transforming into a feathery fiend. One who sits down in a Chinese restaurant, afraid to speak up. Also, the gas station where some other guy makes the attendant notice me. Some people might find it gratifying when they visit “their” bar. Then are immediately recognized. Only then you go into Walmart, and the lady knows you’re there merely for the ranch wings?

I’m a creature of habit, routine, TRADITION. Only every day more like everything in my life, there is some girl I followed, and I can’t break free. The Red Lantern, that was Indiana Gone, Subway again was my mom. McDonald’s because I thought the girl liked me. How about Cherry who talks to me about “stalking?” I never have, but I never half-ass anything but my work sadly. If I know enough, then I can’t fail and if I ask; Twitter is still pending? Blocked on Facebook, knocked off Instagram I keep my mouth shut. Chicken’s aren’t meant to fly, and somebody will get pissed at me for saying this. Still those birds are on the list for a “feast,” and it’s eating me alive.

I’m sick of holding walls up, of waiting. I’m living that idiom of “you are what you eat,” or maybe having a cow man. I’m sure this week in the future I have, and I’ll be living the same way, won’t I?

For all of this I ask forgiveness, but again that’s tradition because it is something I’m not changing isn’t it. Like all those times I went without eating because I refused to live this way. Inspector Echo I’d starve before begging any day a Side Order Of Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 260 ~Don’t Mistake Stupidity For Courage~

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How I wish my courage had held today, all day long there were delusions of grandeur of being an “Adult Entertainment” Entrepreneur and if you think that’s “stupid” you should have seen me at the day job. Don’t Mistake Stupidity For Courage.

Monday, March 18, 2019

Episode 260 ~Don’t Mistake Stupidity For Courage~

Seventy-Sixth Rule Madam Justice

How To Make One Million Dollars, sell-out I’ll admit Madam Justice. If you told me I could have everything I wanted, monetarily speaking if I found God, I would. Make me a member of the 1% percent. I would be more paranoid than usual I bet. Leaving to go to the day job is the definition of stupidity for courage. I’m dealing with people I hate. All on the premise that I’m getting stronger… I’ve wilted more in that place.

Much like Happiness, Love, and Life, COURAGE is something I can’t find. Only STUPIDITY much like yesterday. (The 13th Wednesday, staying ahead of this horrible week). I’m not going to lie Madam Justice. I spent all that money because I wanted to feel better. I do want to take up gaming again, and a pretty girl. Hell, most of my idiocy stems from Beautiful Girls. Yes I know I keep repeating myself. Butterfree blocked, Brazzers skeevy, and I can do worse. If I had to guess today at the day job you stood your ground as best you could. You endured a plethora of moronic moments. Still, this was you attempting to be a man. At the start of today, you asked only one thing.

I read once, that courage is sometimes a quiet voice saying I’ll try again. Only to me, sounds like my feet hitting the floor. I’m reminding myself constantly to pick up my boots and being too exhausted to remember. So I drag them along, that’s the end of Inventory. It’s lighting that match and raining down Hell on others. Enduring the fire, and sometimes it’s your pyre. How I wish I would let my face attempt to go red. Better than the other stupid stuff I do with my eyes and mouth. Madam Justice, it’s treating every girl like fucking Medusa (LANGUAGE). They can make me hard as a rock, but I will go no further. If I have learned anything, wanting HEAD from one is nothing compared to the girl for me I know.

Yes I know the story of Medusa, I was always one for the Greek myths. It beats all the vexing things I spouted. However, notice sometimes courage only means you stand while a stupid man goes places. Where do I reside… Brainbuddy? I’ll give up Fappening but porn? Let it be in others stupidity that I find what it means to be brave. No that doesn’t pan out either. Tom Bilyeu says every moment is a moment for courage. So I can attack in any direction. But I must learn at some point Madam Justice, Don’t Mistake Stupidity For Courage.

“I worship individuals for their highest possibilities as individuals and I loathe humanity for its failure to live up to these possibilities.”
— Ayn Rand (Goodreads)

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 258 ~Blind Faith To Will~

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Do I still think I can see into the future, I wrote this Wednesday, and I saw this day going a lot better, only I wasn’t blind to some girl, I know what I need to do, and tomorrow sigh. Blind Faith To Will

Saturday, March 16, 2019

Episode 258 ~Blind Faith To Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, today is Wednesday. I’m still STUCK on the idea that I will write a best seller. Now if I had the money this second, I know there is no way I would be going to work on Sunday. My problem is that I don’t see the money though. I see Inventory, insanity, and indignation. One of my motivations says that no one can hate you more than you hate yourself. Only nowadays I look, others don’t.

In a way I envy them. In some ways, a button is worse than a trigger. Do you recall when I was talking about Brainbuddy (which you should CANCEL Friday okay)? My deep confusion about what classifies as porn. Yep, I lied to those people “One? Yeah.” Giving up Fapping, sure. The porn, hell after doing the Morning Routine, it was right back to the Heartless Prince. After that Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest. Still, nobody can show me something more beautiful than women. Some people tell me to have faith in God. Blind faith and those same people were the ones that made me out to be a nerd or worse. So my eyes were too full of tears. I was busy getting up close and personal with a baseball bat, balled fist, and my blood in the dirt most days.

I saw this religious movie once called Apocalypse, and there was this guy Bronson Pearl. Now he wouldn’t listen to his girlfriend or some story. He dug up his father’s grave and only at that moment did he find faith. Faith Lady Luna is work. I was looking at myself, and for once it wasn’t my fucked up teeth (LANGUAGE). Nor was it my body; it was my bloodshot eyes from working.

Nevertheless, with my writing, I do not see the results and the day job sigh. I’d rather be dead instead. Now that sounds harsh, but it’s like everything in my world is, I don’t know. In one way it’s living in a museum, don’t touch that it’s priceless. Don’t think that, those people were savages. Stay behind the rope, the line, the people. Better yet don’t look ever.

Am I back in school before I had my glasses? Only I couldn’t see the board so of course, I failed. Math where I was expected to get it, but I never did. So I bought into lies, and now I’m an adult where there is no future in my job. Walmart fails ha, or my eyes are stuck on a screen, headphones always. Is that the game, you see too much or too little. However they say look up, and even the sun is blinding. Still, I know every shade of blue there is. I can’t close my eyes anymore, but why believe in myself, Blind Faith To Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 257 ~Will Deserved Love Letters~

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When I think back to when I was in college, the first girl I ever “love.” did me the service of rejecting me, others called me names and most even blocked me outright or had me begging and pleading. Will Deserved Love Letters and now I “write” books.

Friday, March 15, 2019

Episode 257 ~Will Deserved Love Letters~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, don’t tell anybody a damn thing. It keeps bucks in your pocket, prevents blocking. Yeah, the police can’t put you behind bars. Only what do I tell myself in the future, seeing as how it’s Tuesday now. Next week will suck.

Let’s focus on the positive. I can say such beautiful things to a young lady. I’ll have her falling head over heels in love. Her panties are hitting the floor, in a word YES. Just not to me. Several other gentlemen are quite happy. That’s more of a reason to run a brothel. I’m no one to compare a woman to a summer’s day anymore. More like a Brazzers or Reality Kings model. Have you seen them, and of course that gets me blocked. I have sung to a girl. Think of the sweetest things. Butterflies, Rainbows, Pokemon and in every one of these examples I’ve never spoken of love. Not even like, but I do have an L for myself, and that is Loser.

I know Lady Sophia I have to stop. Come to think of it though did you CANCEL BRAINBUDDY. Again I’m writing from Tuesday, but this app was an act of love for myself. So far I like it but still confused, Erotica, Nakedness, Pinterest. Do they count as porn? Still not giving it up but a day clean? Today I went ahead and ordered my PS4. However, Walmart is a pain in the ass and no not from Cupid. So you wonder why I don’t believe in happiness. More like WORK, though today has been a significant setback. I didn’t read earlier, but I did go through the “Morning Routine.” Only yesterday I got so much done, but I’m tired.

At the day job all I kept thinking about is how someday I’m going to write how I love myself. Sophia the first part of that is writing. Every word that costs me a second of sleep is telling me, you are loved, wanted, alive. When I write my bestseller, I’m going to be signing autographs, books, and checks. I’ll make business deals, buy my land, the labor force, and LADIES. No, they’ll be filling my inbox, knocking my doors down. But their doors are open. I’m never going to stop writing Lady Sophia. Even with my restaurant, love hotel, and then my movie studio. I want to be “Pure Taboo” and “Fetish Network” even more so. The payoff, I’ll look at myself in the mirror. My beautiful wife with our kids. Little B III still on guard duty. Yes, I’ll know I was loved. But Will Deserved Love Letters.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 256 ~Will’s Mad For Maddy~

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The second part of my experiment and is it scary that I find this last half better than the first about Amandla Stenberg a.k.a. “Madeline Whittier,” now that was so creepy, or so I guess, but I am a madman. Will’s Mad For Maddy

Thursday, March 14, 2019

Episode 256 ~Will’s Mad For Maddy~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Welcome, Mischievous Mouthy Maddy
How To Make One Million Dollars, singing and I do adore you when you sing to me. I have other plans for that mouth of yours. Babygirl, after all, haven’t you answered yes to everything? Yes, Master, more, and to you being mine? May I make suggestions to you here and now. While I have you on your knees, making love to my cock. Dare I say I like these sweet sounds even more so Maddy.

The first would have to be, never cut your hair ever again. Braids, pigtails, especially curly. My hands lost in a sea of black but never off. Now I’ll take your bobbing to mean that you agree with me. How about as more of a reminder I make sure to fist it tightly in bed. These snow-white sheets and the two of us colliding as you’re on all fours. Must be madness that I thought this could ever be us. Only who is crazier? Isn’t this the place you open up to me. You’re spreading your thighs as I slide between your folds. The only notes needed are the ones on your tongue, begging, pleading.

Some would call it Toxic. The way I want to have you all to myself, to be the air that you breathe. For you to lose your mind in thoughts of my desires, depravity and my dick, drives me so crazy too. That I can’t for this existence I live imagine how I kept it out of you for so long. Maybe your kiss was Poison, a pharmaceutical. A plot of a love story that we tell the world. Or perhaps no one at all as we find ourselves spent in every way. Hell Maddy, I will burn for you. I know, a Fever and perchance somehow or another I have fallen into a dark paradise of our limbs entwined. Trapped and only wanting more.

I don’t want to remember the man I was before you. Even thinking of the man I am after fucking you. He scares me and yet you do not run away. Or you can’t if I love you only in the way that you deserve to know love. Inside you in every way that I can be and much more. I don’t ever want to leave. Hard as it is and with only a look from you this madness. If we go out, THEY would say Will’s Mad For Maddy.

I Will Have No Fear