Tag: Muse

Gospel 058 ~Will’s General Day Passions~

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Last week I asked the question, what inspires you, well besides the usual and you know I wish I could I say money but here I am still sitting in bed. Um, I have time to watch soap operas, only I’m staying off that horse “Will’s General Day Passions.”

Friday, August 28, 2020

Gospel 058 ~Will’s General Day Passions~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, damn that will. My apologies for the swear, but second the reference might escape you. It’s from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, their “Damn That Lazlow!” Now I was pretty big on soap operas um once upon a time. Yeah, I want to bang Lexi Ainsworth and Haley Pullos. Do you know Kelly Monaco was in Playboy? The only thing I’ve been reading since it’s on my coffee table; at least the Eileen Kelly cover. What about collecting a decade’s worth of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issues?

Okay, so do I need more excuses for not doing what I need to do? Again while I did watch soap operas, I have never seen an episode of Days of Our Lives. I did watch Passions and General Hospital. Both became more of a chore than a form of joy, by God the stress. That’s why I’m always on the search for pleasure. My how I so wish you were the first person on my mind this morning. Lady Sophia, that’s not even me. I’m nowhere near being the best daddy, but you know my Dæmon, my firstborn is my alpha and omega. Yet Hell is where I’m going. With all the soap opera starlets I want in my bed, every day begins with porn. A guy thanked me for a tip on Teen Kasia. Of course, another plaid skirt came calling, Kristen Scott in Back To School. Bella Throne scammed her fans… nudity.

I’m about to be a year older, um, okay, so I’ve been reading W. Anton. As much as I would like to, I won’t finish “that” thought. Hell, let me stop myself. Before, I start treating Yabbos like “champagne wishes and caviar dreams.” My stories to tell. Not like the ones I imagine each and every night, which usually go like this. Like Hanna, “I’ll do better next time.” The Hanna that would get me into some trouble but what I’ll agree with Trump on… Russian women. He wants my vote, Melody Parker Bipartisan Bonage. I told M. Anime the yesterday, she must be sick of me bringing sex into everything. Yeah, Lady Sophia, a girl mentions sex slaves, and I’m wrong. Anyway, why aren’t I working on my novels then? What about Gulp? How about writing HAPPY once, honestly?

Night’s for Fairy Tales, but days, Will’s General Day Passions.

“People think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully. I’m actually as proud of the things we haven’t done as the things I have done. Innovation is saying no to 1,000 things.”
Steve Jobs

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 051 ~Willy, My Muse Too~

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What inspires you? Anyone that knows me can answer that in one word, so then the question becomes, why aren’t I writing? Even now, I can feel the call for sleep, for dreams, and it must be something pretty creative. Willy, My Muse Too?

Friday, August 21, 2020

Gospel 051 ~Willy, My Muse Too~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but it’s not because of puns or even sex. Are there any billionaires in the adult entertainment genre? No, last night was all about porno, and I should really find out how much I’m paying per month. I still want to add Quibi on top of that? Yes, I’m again retelling myself the story of The Stranger. Also, there’s Titan A.E. I told you that’s how I get to sleep each night. No matter how sleepy I am, I need a tale. I could try to create magic, and that’s where my muse decides to fill up my bed again SIGH.

How dare I am I right? There are nine Greek muses, and here I am with six that I found in a brothel, no offense, dear Lady Sophia. Funny, I wanted to talk about how I’m inspired today; now I want to talk about my girls. So not all day, long story short, SEX. Not the most convenient time to be writing things down, I know, but neither is the shower. When it came to Dirty Mom (Yabbos), aka MILF Dos, it was a bit of both. I broke a thirty-day streak salivating over her Yabbos of which I have now seen, but I’ll never see them again. Yeah, I should be reading anyway. Sad to say, I haven’t been doing a lot of that, but I was only thinking about Bang by Roosh V.

Don’t get me started on him. He speaks about being willing to walk away from a woman. In writing my books, I’m walking away, inspiration.

“The willingness to walk away, above all other factors, does more to tell a woman of your high value than any amount of money can. You must be prepared to follow through and to fully believe that you’ll never see or hear from her again, because women instinctively know when you’re faking.” ― Roosh V

Hell, when I’m more running away from everything at the Day Job, I write the best tales. Not counting yesterday in all fairness. After “humiliations galore,” I ran upstairs, leaned on a shelf, and my mind was dead to the world. I got what I wanted, but there was nothing.

In times of “tragedy,” I can be pretty creative. You know what I’m talking about, Lady Sophia. “The Day” is approaching, and it all bur crept up on me. I never expected to get this far, and what do I have to show for it? Same time last year, I was sitting on my poetry. No, let’s be real, I was sleeping, and I had a weird dream, a warning. I won’t voice it as my Willy, My Muse Too.

I Will Have No Fear

I Got Five On It, BOOK REVIEW

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A girl like Rainey Summer Day deserves more than a five and what I paid for this title, I’ll say it is worth every single penny and then some; Lily White sure knows how to bring on the heat and the taboo. I Got Five On It

I Got Five On It

Now that’s no way to talk about a lady, but you should hear how Rainey Summer Day talks about herself. Indeed how Lily White speaks about everything. Now I can’t say I’m much better at what I’ve made women say about themselves. All I know is The Five is one of the dirtiest books I’ve ever read next to Lily’s “The Director.” Even that Tillie Cole title “Sick Fux.” Anyway for the gentlemen in the audience? If less is more, you get a good idea in Pure Taboo’s film “Guidance.”

Not saying guys don’t read any Erotica. Case and point still I’m one for language, or it could be the bombardment of sex in this title. Most stories are one to five ha drawn-out sex scenes. With this, you’re hit with it over and over. It’s a mishmash of fornication. Quick and to the point but never dull. You’ll be living on the edge of your seat. Though to be fair you’ll know what’s coming or rather who. Still, you’ll only want it all the more with each page that flies by to be sure. Like the character of Rainey, you’ll only crave so much more. How this title will deliver, whatever your fix is, sex, blood, a love story.

Despite everything, keep in mind that this is a love story. The typical how is the lovely girl going to get out of this predicament. Now her paramour never being the prince. Though comparing him to everyone else, is one man better or worse? The author attempts to steer you towards one. Only as you get deeper and deeper into the secrets of Rainey, you’ll say, yeah that’s not the way it’s going to go. For others that might be a fan of C.D. Reiss’s title Forbidden. It’s not a negative by any means. You’ll be rooting for Rainey, and one of the “gentlemen” leads throughout. So yeah I might end up giving it away at some point. May I have more restraint than Rainey.

There is one secret, though and I must have been too blind to see it. Until it comes out near the end, I wish I can say I was playing doctor. No, if anything, I wanted to be a customer as evil as they were towards Rainey. With this title though Lily White has easily made my top five in this genre. While I know, that doesn’t count for much. Only this is one more title of hers that I have become addicted to sigh.

Now stop me if you’ve heard this one. A young girl gets into trouble with guys, though in Rainey’s case she walked right on in. Still, because of her age, we’re to assume she’s trapped, which is true enough. I give marks to the author because of this. Sadly this might show what kind of man I am. Most of these titles the girl isn’t that young. They don’t dare to cross the line. Not Lolita young but depending on the age of consent. That didn’t stop anybody with Rainey.

So Rainey is the only survivor of a murder spree. Anyway seeing as how she’s bruised herself and tied up at the time we get to meet Justin Redding. A doctor sent to evaluate her guilt or innocence of the crime in question. Even so, most of the story is Rainey telling a tale of the Connors. Four men guilty of abusing her but the youngest Rowan. Don’t get your hopes up that isn’t the five, anyway. Rowan was the one to care for her. The story switches back and forth between Justin speaking of his interview with her. Only Rainey continues the tale and then comes the somewhat bombshell.

That’s the only negative that you’ll hear from me. Again I wasn’t looking to be surprised I was rooting for the outcome the whole time. I don’t see how the author could hold back as long as she did. Also, she has a good understanding of men. Most women would hate that men think like this. Many men might hate the casting as such, but I was sitting there. No, I wasn’t falling in love with Rainey, pity yes but yeah I would be going to Hell. Every character was covered. If anything, you are only hoping that it gets raunchier. I mean with everyone that Rainey encounters in bed or out. For example, the two detectives. Justin could set his sights elsewhere. Rather than with his subject, his obsession.

The plot isn’t new. I’m always amazed at how specific authors can spin it this way and that to tell their story. Along with the different voices, each showing a particular aspect. I would never call Rainey a heroine but a survivor. How you’ll find nothing is lacking at the end, and everyone got what they deserved. I remain sad for Rainey despite it all. I’m just as guilty as all those preyed upon her.

If I were going to recommend The Five, it would be those that study killers as a hobby the real-life stories of evil. Though there is death in this, there is so much more sex I’m sugarcoating it. Why should I, it’s a five-star masterpiece as was The Director and for the record. With that book, my beef is I can’t buy a copy to put on my bookshelf. So that was a different sort of darkness that I relished.

The truth, if you read stories the real horrors that some have experienced. If you bleed for the victims and at the same time, you want to know more. You want every visceral image. This fictional account will get you there. It’s like that scene in The Silver Linings Playbook. Pat listens to Tiffany recount her many sexual exploits and Pat gets so turned on. How you only want to take the girl on the table right there. The Five itself comes with a trigger warning. If you know anything about drugs and trading sexual favors, or abuse, you might want to skip this one. Now at the same time, it might help some heal with its way. While Rainey isn’t real, the exploits are seen every day in reality.

So why the five stars? Well other than the colorful language and the constant abuse of Rainey. How does she fulfill so many dark fantasies? Again Lily White doesn’t shy away from taboo subjects. There’s light at the end of many dark tunnels? Only I choose the darkness again and again. There is only a trace amount of a redemption arc when it comes to Rainey and spoiler alert Rowan who she chooses. Even Rowan forced his desires on her. How she never became a saint, she only delved into worse. The same with Justin, who couldn’t keep it in his pants despite wanting to come out as Rainey’s hero. In some shape or devilish form, which is why he got his ending of course.

Dare I say it was like Winston and Julia in 1984? That I can’t help wanting a Rainey of my own, now how sick is that? I know but yes I Got Five On It.

What Will You Crave Next? Book Review

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Well, something is getting high when I read a title like this, and it’s the writer writing about a writer that somehow gets to me more than anything else and thoughts of having the dream girl in less than twenty-four hours? “What Will You Crave Next”

To think back to my school days. Reading was considered a crime. How dare I spend hours looking through the stacks. Like I was some addict of sorts looking for a fix. Only when I found it, put my hands on it? Well to this day, I still Crave that feeling, and that’s how I found K.M. Scott. Except instead of a library of brick and mortar; Kindle is a decent tool. Don’t judge me, some things I don’t want to repeat from school days.

It’s not every day that I peruse a novel about a writer. Why does that feel like cannibalism to me, writing about writers? Not that Crave is about such a macabre subject though it is chock full of wanting flesh. Would it be better if it was a book about drugs? Yeah, it has that, and then again it’s pretty DOPE. Yeah, guess what movie I went to see after reading K.M. Scott’s work. Might I add a first for me? So why do I bring together the idea of books and movies, seeing as how I’m no Hollywood guy. Should I call Crave such, with its drug addiction, bright lights of New York and even a celebrity sex drama?

Well, I’ll instead focus on the sex because that’s what we all came here for right. Our drug addicted protagonist of Ian Anwell, trading one vice for another. Call it infatuation, obsession, hunger, no I think K.M. Scott got the title right, no doubt. Next, we have Kristina Richards, the actress. There was a movie that said that love is an acceptable form of madness, and that’s what she is. A bit bonkers when it comes to her choice in men. Ian though, can’t seem to win no matter what, because only in a world such as this can emotions such as his be tolerated. So one would think, though he’s one for Secret Lovers.

I swear that’s the song that pops into my head when I listened to Ian speak though. This book has nothing to do with cheating unless you count Ian cheating on his dealer at any point. Or how Kristina is cheating herself out of a relationship. How much of a connection there was because again there wasn’t much of let’s say a “typical” relationship. Whatever you may hold that to be. This title is like a drug, a sweet “hit,” and then you’re left with, well a craving. So there are some sequels, yes, please.

Crave is a fast-paced love affair, with how not to win the girl. In the real world, at least. Though I know, there are so many fanboys out there that think Patreon should work this way when it comes to women. Speaking of women, it’s that double standard in a way. Well if a woman does it, we call it cute. If a man does even a quarter of it, someone calls the cops. It’s Titanic only way more sex and Jack is jonesing for more than his Rose portrait.

Now the blurb spills it but just in case spoiler alert. We have Ian, two books down, fame and fortune, looking for his next hit. Drugs, drinks, but it turns out to be a dame. The way some women get to a man, how I know the feeling. It turns out that Kristina is a big fan of Ian and of course it doesn’t take her long to shimmy out of her panties. That is if she were wearing any, allow me to play Homer Simpson for a minute drools. Next thing you know he has his new book idea and she becomes the protagonist for his work. His muse, now what did I say about writing about a writer. I did devour Crave quickly.

One of the things I both enjoyed and despised about this book was how close to home it got. As a writer myself, I’ve written about women, and I’ve seen the same thing. I didn’t mean to get so personal, but I read a lot of erotica. So it’s albeit confusing and fictional should be the keyword. But the story itself is fantastic, and well put together. Kristina did irk me some, but that’s at the end, and you’re going to have to read it yourself to find out. Only, seeing how there are three more books in the series, I hope they give details.

The end is thought out but and I say this about many titles. It’s as if the author was anxious to get to the finish line and didn’t specify what Ian’s actions meant. I get it, but I’ve read creepier things that are glossed over by the heroine. Too close to home, though I have never gone to Ian’s level. Now at least he and “Kristina” were sleeping together on the regular before she decided to bug out on him. She showed more understanding when he explained his drug addiction.

I’m not sure how many gentlemen are into these stories, but I’m always hoping it’s not only me. For women who are under the usual sway of Erotica, Crave will get you there. So to everyone else, will it leave you yearning for more? Yes, I give K.M. Scott’s Crave four stars, and I am usually a hard sell. Yes, I will be going after the rest of the series as well. Yes, I could stop, and this beats a few other vices that I have going for me indeed.

For the guys, it’s a dream come true. Imagine the hottest actress, singer, model, or cosplayer gulp you know. Now imagine you can have her in bed in less than twenty-four hours. Not knocking pizza guys, plumbers, or anybody but Ian was a bestselling author. Women, you’ll like the mad about you always gets the job done aspect. Until that desire turns into obsession and next thing you know. Cut to a guy being skeevy and wanting to get away. Crave is not a “starter” book for this genre since it jumps right in. As far as romance? Well, they did have dinner on occasion. However, the intimate aspects of the relationship are often direct.

The ending, now I fell way to fast into this story. Yes, I am counting that as a sin, I suppose when I’m looking for an escape; that’s not the author’s fault. Of course, personal preference but four stars is better than not reading it at all. It didn’t scare me away at all, for now, it’s an itch, like pizza or Chinese food from my favorite spot. You won’t regret this if you are willing to make the trip to go and get it and I will. Not like you need to take my word for it. The book, not the food ha. K.M. Scott has a library of books out and how did I get so lucky to find this one out of so many. Now it’s only leading me to many more.

A surprise from more book lovers. Like how Ian found his way to his drug addiction. By someone who liked his books and tuning into Netflix to see his woman before she even became his woman to be sure. Love if that’s what it is, was or will be between them can get you higher than anything on Earth. So I would like to take faith in but baring that for myself at the moment. I have to ask myself, What Will You Crave Next?

Episode 270 ~Will Read In Bed~

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Green, Yellow, Red, though I have always been one for brunettes myself, I can name quite a few redheads that aren’t pornstars; well until I head to “The Moonlite Bunny Ranch” someday, write my book, make a movie. Will Read In Bed.

Thursday, March 28, 2019

Episode 270 ~Will Read In Bed~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, opening a novelty store on top of all my business ventures. I can’t say it was on my to-do list. Plenty of girls are but anyway the Moonlite BunnyRanch has one. So “Second Circle Creations” needs its Merch as well.

Today, however (Tuesday 26th) “I’m just a little Unwell” as the song goes. I wish I could believe that this is all about women. I hate when pretty girls die, Enid, Tara, Addy. Relax, I’m talking about The Walking Dead and how old is Addy or Kelley Mack? I am not my father. Violence against women is a big HELL NO. Only I am a dominant, so in the spirit of SSC, I do enjoy some rough play. Still today the only red I see besides my eyes is my wrist, from popping myself. Okay, so I have looked up several “redheads” or the like today. I need anything just anything to take the edge of today’s ugly events. I’m so greedy Dirty Diana that goes without saying but here:

  1. Two Different “Addys” Z Nation, TWD
  2. Tessa Fowler
  3. Siri
  4. Court
  5. Ruby Rae
  6. Alice Little

Of course, that’s in no particular order. The red hair gets to me today. Yesterday it was blondes. Tomorrow probably goldilocks but it’s something about seeing dark haired girls. Decapitated, heads on pikes, reanimated that turns me off. Call me crazy but Frankie? You know that’s it. Enid, Tara, and Addy, I felt such attraction to but Frankie, I guess I didn’t feel the same. Not that she’s unattractive, but I think I didn’t see enough of her. Like my writing, I always need a muse in reality. Which also explains why I suck at it. Me being a louse, and how dare I make lists, that’s trouble. For now, my problems are named STRESS, HUMILIATION, and RAGE. I swear, my blood was boiling. I could stomp my way to Hell itself. Damn my wrist is ready to fall off with my punishments, you know.

Get your mind out of the gutter Dirty Diana; you remain innocent. I’m the guilty one and let’s not go into politics. I’m talking about my fantasies. You know I told you about my Purge TV story? Two runaway cultists want to hide with me. They are willing to do anything to stay the night. After The Walking Dead episode “The Calm Before” I’d like to be Prince Henry. I have to choose between Lydia and Addy (age appropriate). Could be a voyeur/participant. As Enid, Tara, perhaps Addy try to “convince” The Whisperers not to kill them by any means necessary. Cruel fantasies you think and haven’t I talked about escape. Should I instead be kept to the red of my anger? Some woman, book, or sweet dream. My Dirty Diana, Will Read In Bed.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 263 ~Your French Girls Will~

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I have had so many muses, from A to B and they have all been pretty and wrong for me, and if it isn’t one bodily fluid, it’s another, sex and horror as Frankie Goes to Hollywood put it. Where’s an iceberg when I need it? Your French Girls Will

Thursday, March 21, 2019

Episode 263 ~Your French Girls Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, learn French and move to France. Hell if it worked for Benjamin Franklin, it would work for me. Only I failed French of course, too busy calling people “cowards.” What about that Time Machine construction seeing it’s Wednesday. Staying ahead?

Stories for another time but usually this is “sexy time…” How many references is that so far? The Last Dragon, Idiocracy, Katie O’Shaughnessy; so much to write Dirty Diana. Nevertheless aren’t I trying to be S Wolf, Todd Michaels, even the fictional Ian Anwell? Do you know what holy Hell it is to be surrounded by muses? In Ian’s case, he only had one but as for me? Yeah, I’m hitting that sweet spot between wanting to fuck Nonstop and being inspired. NaNoWriMo is coming up, and I have to be ready. At the moment I’m still thinking about “The Logos Girls.” Only Tuesday sigh it’s good I finally got my refund from Walmart. I have five words for you, “Eileen Kelly is in Playboy.”

Now if my video game antics have proven anything, it’s the fact that I love a good story. Give me a tale, and I would say I would give you my heart. No, more like my wallet as is the case of Eileen Kelly a.k.a KillerandaSweetThang. Why did I join Patreon again? Sure I wanted to see @courtscandyshop boobs. Just what made me sign on was getting into her head. Still, her story of abuse, assault, and a man’s amorality, turned me on. Fucked up for sure but no less so than most of the erotica I read. Except that’s fiction, I want a girl for body, breakability, and brains. However, this order is depending on the day and mood.

How many days has it been since Brainbuddy? As I said it’s almost time for some real writing. Only if I’m not getting that done, I should be reading. I don’t mean looking up Hannah Harper’s work in Funny Boners (2002) and Kill For Thrills. My apologies to the pornographic MlLF. Oh and there’s Amilia Onyx and Whitney Wright. Except for Hannah, girls with dark hair sigh but I should be sticking to the black words on the page. What Jack was able to do with Rose (In Pictures) I want to learn how to do with words. To be fair though he got to know Rose “biblically.” Now that is a language we all learn. Though when I was young, I believed the French excelled at that. So Hannah is English, Katie is Irish, and then we have American girls. Still To All Of You (women in general) today I’m not sorry. If it’s not panties, ball gags, or cocks going in your mouth, I would only like to write about you in some way. So what’s your story? Like Your French Girls Will?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 261 ~Add It Up, Will~

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In love with love, no, how about a girl, as for now, still living that bachelor life, and becoming obsessed with Detroit: Become Human, Crave, and work is killing me; not even enough for a drug habit. “Add It Up, Will,” Love Is All You Need

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Episode 261 ~Add It Up, Will~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, fall in love or didn’t you miss me? Was it a choice? I mean it should be right and dare I say romantic to say it out loud. Only everything points to the contrary. As the song goes, your Love Is My Drug; I like Kesha…

People use words and phrases like, you killed it, slay, and fierce. Then they wonder why some run from love. Now, this wouldn’t be the first time I said something that ticked you off quite considerably. I knew this mom once… anyway, when I saw you, I was downright petrified. Yesterday I talked about what Medusa did to men, turned them to stone. Makes sense that my heart would skip a beat, that I couldn’t catch my breath. Also, my feet were solid concrete slippers. Almost a moment after though I was like a zombie waking up and what was I willing to do to stay alive. When we take our first breath, it’s not a choice. Everything we are makes this demand, sometimes more, others less but need it.

How many songs, movies, and books preach that love is all we need. Speaking of novels, I’ve told you before I want to love you like one. I want to fill our home with you. I can’t go a second, my watch ticking down to when I’m with you again. Like this morning if you weren’t here. Of course, I would be cursing my clock for waking me up from my dreams of you. My hands would be Jonesing for my Kindle, a pencil, my keyboard to speak to you. I can hear the words Toxic, Poison, maybe even Fever. Would it be better as I say often enough, it’s a disease this thing called love. Hell, it’s damn near a crime unless you’re like one of these “Alpha Males” I read sometimes. Should I be asking for a billion?

No, you would be the Padmé Amidala to my Anakin Skywalker. Only you joined me in front of “God” and some others, and you scare them too, My Love. I wonder did you look me up. Did you want to know all about me? Then again I’m an open book, and you walked in and became my heroine, my muse and love. I want to give you such a life as you gave me. Is that why I was so slow finding you, being this Walker, a Whisperer, and an avid TV/Movie Watcher. The addictions that I gave up and those we indulge in together. I have no more bad headaches from 5-hour ENERGY. My anger fled when I walked out of my day job and was able to begin writing full time. To be with you and our children, and I have never seen anything more beautiful. So yes you are my addiction, infatuation, obsession, I Crave you and what does it cost me… so Add It Up, Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 053 ~An A Musing Line~

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Stay in line, keep your place, single file, being a fan somewhat of the Sith, Empire, First Order, Saviors, and others I can’t say that order is a bad thing, knowing your place and all. An A Musing Line, yeah I want to know where I’m going.

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Lesson 053 ~An A Musing Line~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear… well, not much anyway but the day is still going strong and as I found out “Inspiration Doesn’t Need A Map”, yes just one more new rule in a long line. Sure the straight and narrow path may keep us safer but there is so much more to life and from the looks of it I might still have a long one, now to do.

Other than worry I mean, today feels a bit better than yesterday and that was better than the day before that. It’s not too often I get those visions of things that could be; today I was like any other parent with the exception of my kid being on a leash, while all the two legged kids made their way to the bus stop. If things were better but here I am actually collecting bottle caps like something out of the Fallout franchise, I’m screwed.

Anyway, about today’s lesson, I’ve never been one for a quick witty line but more always know your way out. As you can probably see Luna I’m pretty lost at the moment, same with my poetry, I have no idea what I was thinking other than that Matchbox 20 song and yes I’m still censoring myself. I suppose there is a difference between living each day as though it were your last and thinking each day might be your last.

Every day I go into work and have to ask myself, do they know, will I be punished, how long was I like that after “Senseless”? What was the last day that I was truly proud of the life I am “surviving” that’s just it isn’t it, I’m not living and I’m not alone when it comes to that necessity?

Education, the pursuit of knowledge is also but as I watched that long line of schoolchildren this morning I couldn’t help but be reminded of my own school days. What about the neighbor’s new dog, have I failed that other dog they had, this is what happens when you try to stay in line there comes a time when you just have to get out.

From what I can tell, life is just one long path, one long line, doing whatever they can to escape the grave and everybody thinks they know better. Lead, follow, or get out the way as they say but first, you have to know where you’re going and don’t tell me to fake it till you make it, that’s just another way to get lost. Personally, I don’t want to be lost anymore and while I may be paranoid that doesn’t mean people aren’t following me, hence today’s blocking activities.

I don’t know what happens next but I keep walking away, hopefully with my head up, with no worries, though that seems to be all my friends these days. I was talking to one friend this morning and when I got to such and such a part of my story she said “Well…” I completely understand that though and of course “Indiana Gone” is firmly entrenched on my side. Even in my lifestyle, it frightens me some when people and Braxton think I’m someone to be followed, my road is better off a lonely one.

Everybody else I suppose tends to agree with me on the other hand, it’s lonely at the top and if you want some confidence or inspiration for today, that’s where I’ll be, all the way up. Until then there is just one foot in front of the other and contrary to popular opinion I’m not following anybody for anything now.

The thing is though I am sick of staying in my place and I mean that in a variety of different ways, maybe that’s some of what my OCD is about, everything has its place but not me. I want to step out of line, cross the line if anything I’ll do better next time but have I learned anything?

“Don’t make my mistake, kid. Don’t follow orders your whole life. Think for yourself.” Antz

I spent my life like most of those kids, walking to the bus stop, waiting, doing what was expected of me and where did that get me, Luna, where am I? Just another guy waiting at work, towing the line, knowing my place and in turn tell me where that gets me. Again another line trying to eek out an existence, gathering the tools I need to survive, for Braxton as well, one line another.

What will my last line read and I won’t even get to write it myself; “Reasons to be a writer” will make a debut, I’m serious. Today though looks like I didn’t scare the cute redhead, of course, I don’t think she’s ever seen me before either. More line won’t hurt with some and with others, hell they don’t deserve another line, coming from me.

So what have I learned today other than some lines are better than others; some of these lines, well they just wow… Anyway, someday I’ll be the one everyone will be lining up to see maybe “An A Musing Line”.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 052 ~The Timing of Inspiration~

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A paradigm, a type, and from that I am inspired to create something but while my fingers are in the right place, it’s always the wrong time, that’s what she said and I still hate that joke to this day. The Timing of Inspiration, timing is everything.

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Lesson 052 ~The Timing of Inspiration~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear, like a drunk man facing his own firing squad, or is that not creative enough for you; can’t say I’m feeling this way myself, so courageous. Today is certainly better, proving a bit of another rule I came up with “sometimes, you may even forget” or I’m just being lazy?

I didn’t dream of anything though, dreams themselves can offer up plenty of opportunities for inspiration to come land in my lap. That will be today’s lesson, so first I ask the question what inspires me and the safest answer would be to say everything. I mean how many ideas do I have in the coming days, Cousin Skeevy, a number of novellas, how about an introduction page, a new blogging book I should read?

“I’m responsible for nineteen of the twenty top-grossing films of all time.

Nineteen?

Yeah, the one about the kid, by himself in his house, burglars trying to get in and he fights them off? I had nothing to do with that one. Somebody sold their soul to Satan to get the grosses up on that piece of shit.” Serendipity, Dogma

Honestly a few nights ago I was reading through one, I haven’t written a review on and I could barely keep my eyes open, and money-making is a wonderful thing or so I once thought but then here we are. I keep saying one of these days I’m going to write down all the reasons I want to be a writer, another one might be vanity, and speaking of you’re so vain… that’s another bit of inspiration I’ve been thinking about, writing speeches to God who cares anymore like something out of “Collateral Beauty”. Now see I like that, movie and the concept because in a way My Lady you are my collateral beauty, while my poetry seems to be collateral damage in a way.

“Don’t ask me about being a writer. If when you wake up in the morning. you can think of nothing but writing… then you’re a writer.” Sister Act 2 (1993)

Yet another rule I came up with “Whose Right to Censor You” I mean really no more free rent inside my head though yeah I still freeze up from time to time. Maybe I should look to some writers as role models and not the Marquis de Sade, someone wrote he was the freest soul that ever lived but I still have to live here.

In addition to creating a new list of rules to somehow govern myself, I have been looking into a code here or there from the past that I adhered to.
For example, the code of chivalry, specifically the idea of “courtly love” and before you even ask Luna, I haven’t been in love forever or had sex either which explains going for broke from time to time. Remember “Sweetness” and that’s all I ever was to her but a guy can’t win can he, and I don’t think anyone ever excused Sigmund Freud of being a gentleman but it’s all about understanding right? How about that line I never gave “Senseless” yeah that would have gotten me fired for sure, not that keeping my distance did land me in trouble.

I’ve looked in on Bushido, The Laws of 8, Ingsoc, Brave New World, Robin Lefter’s Laws, Fight Club, and I could go on for quite a while, oh and how about Zombieland? I’m getting to be like President Trump, I need to look at The Constitution and maybe The Bill of Rights but how in the world do you defend poetry, oh nobody is special, I got a book of a hundred poems I wrote by the pool, of the five I wrote about The Winx Club while I was on X, how about the one that literal quotes Ellie Goulding’s “Love Me Like You Do”, or to my shame the ones I wrote during the “Harmonic War” just disgusting.

Something I still struggle with, my big sister (not actually related) told me you can’t build a strip club next to a school… anyway, I see her point but that doesn’t negate the fact that I’m a dominant. Personal and professional life Luna, need to keep those separate and while again I’m writing new rules, there is one that remains in my BDSM file and that is “For Me, You Will”, simple. I did write out a bunch for my novel “Some Assembly Required” which I will be working on, starting next month editing but those rules are more sinister.

Now I’ve mentioned that I can find inspiration in everything and while I was high but women, my drug if not by choice but by biology and god how we pay for it. I wish I could just write about sunshine and lollipops okay no I don’t but inspiration only works if you’re beautiful, rich or have a depressing life story to share oh wait…

“Do you know what I am saying? If you’ve got a girl, and she kisses you, sooner or later you’re paying for it. You’ve gotta take her out to lunch, take her to a movie, and then spend time listenin’ to all her stupid problems. Look, look at Stan right there.

He’s gotta sit there and listen to her stupid mother-fuckin’ problems ’cause she kisses him. If you ask me, that’s a lot more than the five dollars my company charges.” – Butters’ Bottom Bitch

Honestly, I don’t see how Taylor Swift does it, though those guys probably ended up with her for a moment, they probably wouldn’t mind any publicity. How about a dude that became more famous because he pissed Alanis Morissette off, and how many shows have ripped off that moment in time. I censor myself though, but probably the bigger problem is I have so many ideas bombarding me and my job is plenty enough scary.

“Well, you know, Henry Miller said the best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature.” 500 Days of Summer (2009)

You want to talk about inspiration, you want to talk about vanity; I’m freaking scared, nearly petrified, that every word is being twisted, I’m vain enough to believe someone is reading, their vain enough to believe this is a personal attack and a sign of crazy. I see and I create, I feel and I create, I am not what I create because chances are I could never be, impossible, immoral, illegal, insane, I am definitely going to have to make another rule soon. As for right now, all that matters is the work, my novel has fourteen women that I have never met in life as inspirational pieces, and yet… no, it doesn’t even matter anymore, in the past.

So what have I learned today, I could write out all the new rules but that deserves its own entry Luna but today I realized that inspiration cannot completely be contained but simply endured, enjoyed under the right circumstances. Is it what inspires us or what we create because of or in spite of, such is The Timing of Inspiration.

I Will Have No Fear