Saga 050 ~A B V Conversation~

When B was alive, besides his aunt, I only talked to the people I needed to. And that was for him. The groomer, vet, stores, crappy Day Job, etc. Now it’s been a week, and I’m teaching Virgil his name. He’ll need other people too. A B V Conversation.

Saturday, August 20, 2022

Saga 050 ~A B V Conversation~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but how did I get started? I think THEY say every day is a new beginning.

I’ve faced a few this week. First time saying goodbye to a new furry kid. I got mad at him last night for stealing a chicken bone. How to start punishments? Virgil didn’t know. Such is my Republican tendency to punish someone who didn’t know. Of course, I’m the guiltiest by far. And not only for my laziness. As always, I want to fall back to sleep Lady Lunalesca. I’ve been thinking a lot about going to see a doctor. I know I’m sick. Nope, not COVID ill, but I’ve been fucked up for months. And not just from crying over Braxton. Hell! These days there have been plenty of tears and how I haven’t drowned yet is beyond me. Sweating and other things, dammit!

I haven’t made “The Long Walk” to the back of PetSmart since I picked up what remained of my son. It’s surreal, Lady Lunalesca. Braxton’s ashes rest on the nightstand. And on the same side, I have little Virgil breathing beside me. It’s been one whole week with him, ok? The voices continue to shout, “send him back, send him back.” A psychiatrist too, Lu? How about a priest while I’m at it? Someone to talk to that offers any type of relief, release, or rapture. Which reminds me, what about B’s aunt, since I’m no longer looking for new “best friends.” I’m in the process of teaching Virgil his own name. His middle name? There’s still no movement on that front. Running in place.

The only thing that might get me out of this bed is the promise of nachos. Since finishing the Succubus Lord series, I’ve had a craving. Oh, and for sex too. I broke on Thursday. Yeah, M Anime’s birthday. I wonder why… I’m sure I’ll be telling Lucifer someday, right? But for now, where am I going? My words are falling on deaf ears. That’s not me complaining about being a writer. What was I doing all yesterday? It wasn’t much of that at all, honest. And what will I be doing today? I have to go somewhere, and Virgil is trying for sure. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, I’m broke. What does that matter when having A B V Conversation?

566 Days Without B III, Day 007 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Episode 057 ~Your Wish, Is Their Command~

Written and done, spoken and accomplished, if I were going to open my mouth, I would want to be one giving all kinds of orders, but there is a reason I am not the boss of a lot of things and people. Your Wish Is Their Command

Monday, August 27, 2018

Episode 057 ~Your Wish, Is Their Command~

Forty-Seventh Rule Madam Justice

Give Me One Reason to pray, to wish, to write letters to Santa and then I talk about having no faith in the human race. I include myself in that. Then again people have rarely treated me as though I deserve such consideration. To be honest, since I have known treatment less than a man. Is it any wonder that I want to be more than one? I’m sure all fictional writers have looked at themselves as so much the better. After all, we create our universes and lives, right?

I suppose that’s where it started with me. Of course, you know what type of women inspire my female characters. What of the man who inspires most of my male protagonists? The things I want and the things I can never do. Now, this is more of a discussion for Lady Sophia. Once we enter the real world why is it that I need to trick people into buying books. I could point out authors like J.K. Rowling who knew rejection or E.L. James who people hated. Over fifty million copies and that was only one book. I don’t ask people for anything, and I don’t know what I even intended with my novel, but I do want readers and fans. Hell, I would take the infamy of Marquis de Sade, scary don’t you think?

Speaking of which I’ve talked about control and sex… well, I am dominant. People say sex is all about power, and that’s valid. Also again a chat for Dirty Diana, but these rules speak to the different facets of my life. My little man only has four, don’t crap in the house, don’t steal, when I call he shows, and don’t bite the hand that feeds you. People breed complications, yet if I have to condense all my rules down to one, well. I should start with myself; I wish I could be the man I want to be; could I demand that from myself.

Power is all that matters. Haven’t I said that before, talk about love, money, sex, whatever all these are only the forms that it takes. And whatever your poison the idea that my word is law *sigh*. So simple the thought and I can’t help it. Whether it’s over the mob, the world, a love, or yourself. The power to have all that I could desire Madam Justice in life, Your Wish Is Their Command.

I Will Have No Fear