Tag: Life

Gospel 103 ~Grief Tastes Like The Ocean~

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I’ve been trying to drink two bottles of water a day, which still ain’t much but it beats turning all Kel Mitchell with orange soda. I actually like root beer and root beer floats, yum. “Grief Tastes Like The Ocean,” but I’m not sad, yet…

Monday, October 12, 2020

Gospel 103 ~Grief Tastes Like The Ocean~

Hundred And Fifty-Seventh Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so how can I be sad? Um, I’m also a black man living in the USA. It’s not like I blame mom’s cooking or anything. Yep, she was the first one to tell me not to use so much salt. Was I the only one dipping his digits in the seasoning hm? To tell you the truth Madam Justice, I’m not sad today but angry. Yet again, I wasted the day away, when we could have already had this talk. You know why I’m always so exhausted? It’s so I have the chance to cry when I yawn. Barring blood, other secretions.

Blood is salty, but I’m in no rush to spill it. I’m a writer, not a vampire, but either way, I’m a monster. Not to mock such greatness as Johnston Green… Come on, man! He was the mayor of Jericho. How about The Instructor in The Animatrix? The Operative? Entertainment, my dear Madam Justice? Again we have Jericho, a nod to The Second Renaissance and Serenity (2005). Here is my reasoning, they all spilled blood and showed remorse in having to do so. There was no time for tears but the taste of blood, always.

Interestingly enough, that’s how I see myself as an author. Haven’t I been complaining that I have no time? Come November, and with that NaNoWriMo, all my time will be spent on words. In those, I will grieve Madam Justice.

Why do you think all of my stories end up on a “specific” subject? You know what else take like salt… sweat. Of course, you know the word I want to say, but I’m “trying” to be good. Hell, how do you think I got out of bed, only I haven’t broken, thank goodness. Anyway, I don’t even like killing characters in my books. Take “The Eve of a Cherry” as an example. The first book was to know what he was losing, the second “For A Fine Cherry Spread” was acknowledgment. The third will be acceptance of the loss.

I cry for characters in books, and yes, there’s also anger. Before my inopportune nap, I read Eric Vall, and that was… something. As the song goes, “Tell me something good.” Because if I started crying about my real life, I might never ever stop. The taste is too much!!!

Grief Tastes Like The Ocean.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 102 ~When Will Gets Ticked~

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While I’m proud to say there is not one tick on My Dæmon, I still see them everywhere… counting down on the clock, in everything people do, and in one more reason I’m a writer. It’s hard to ball a fist while typing. “When Will Gets Ticked.”

Sunday, October 11, 2020

Gospel 102 ~When Will Gets Ticked~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you’re mad you’re not, I get it. To be fair and yes, I repeatedly say who knows if money would make you happy. The wealthiest people out there seem to be the angriEST. Some even work the hardEST putting their soul on paper. How often are the smartEST heard? I’m amazed you know the EST of WWE. At least she’s a black woman and not some old white guy… no offense to your mentors. Speaking of which, motivation speakers ask why are you here and why are you angry. Um well…

Why do lounge around in bed, “thinking about tomorrow?” Well, now we’re back to the white guys, AHEM, you got nowhere else to go. Nobody’s going to blame you if we don’t have this conversation today. How many have we had while you lie dying? Ticked off at the world. How about why are you here creating? Yesterday I started Pinterest again, and just this morning, you added two new boards. All of them locked down tight. The names of those boards dull. More importantly, what about your writing? You do see the eleventh. However, why would you even care? Dammit, the clock is ticking, tick, tock. You wanted to be up at 8 AM, right? What, not 4 in the morning? You also said you would be at the dining room table. So many promises like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Going To Bed Before Midnight Always
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing Succubus 2 (Hell To Pay) Another A.J. Markam Title
    Completed

Are you angry that you’re starting “Back At One” again? 1 point for being alive and 16.5 points for reading another book, which I gave five stars to. Do you realize 15 poems a day for a week is over 100, and all you have to do is read them over? You choose to sleep. You’re ticked because you have so much time, and you waste it. I know you’re mad at me and the others; the reason why you restarted this blog. At the end of each day, you always hate yourself even more. You keep wanting to live for today, only it’s impossible. Greatest lie there is, you know but mixed with some truth. If we were to go back and look at the list all this year, what would we find? You paid people to publish a book, and you haven’t sent it, geez Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Going To Bed Before Midnight
  6. I AM Finishing Succubus Lord 2, Eric Vall

So you’re here and angrily dreaming When Will Gets Ticked.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 101 ~Reinventing The Will SIGH~

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I suppose I should be grateful for yet another opportunity to change. As much s I would like to admit I had plans for today, cut to Pinterest and a bout of sickness. Over one and not the other. Can you guess? Reinventing The Will SIGH.

Saturday, October 10, 2020

Gospel 101 ~Reinventing The Will SIGH~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so add doctors to the list. Here I was shaking about the Coronavirus (COVID-19), but where have I spent the last few hours? Well, yeah, in bed, sleeping until 10 AM, but I should have enjoyed it. Let’s say for now God bless Sprite, which I always keep on hand. How sick was I? It all started when I took a little trip down to Pinterest way. A new email, a new Pinterest home, and the same mistakes. The only thing that keeps me 100% fearful is my “father.” He was doing a favor, killing me.

Woah! I hear you, Lady Lu, and I’m not getting into any Halloween celebrations quite yet. What I mean is, as the song goes, you “Make Me Wanna Die.” I’m not suicidal, but back then, every single time, it was because of him. Didn’t want his progeny living in fear. Speaking of which, before I screwed up this afternoon, I was running away from my phone. Now of all the terrors it holds, friendship shouldn’t be one. Oh baby, I love you, just leave me the (blank) alone. I swear with such and such texting me I’ll write a book. Only my stomach knew I had no such designs, and when I know I’m doing something wrong, it’s all “Down With The Sickness.” I swear I felt like crying, and I’ve been getting many of these days over and over.

My dreams aren’t exactly helping. I told M Anime that they serve as messages. So my “father” a million texts, and an upset stomach, but now visions. Yes, Lady Lu, I still see myself as a young man. Well, me and My Dæmon wise. Even he was worried about me. Anyway, while dreaming, I saw a Latino man sliding down a slip n’ slide or a waterslide. Trash was on both sides, and he was scared, but he kept sliding without any real control. Hell, I wish I could tell you more, but again I’m trying to be good. So why am I on Pinterest? I see the signs. And not only in my head Lady Lu. I’m wasting too much time on nothing. You know, maybe that’s it, something fun, but it’s all garbage. What about the character, hmm?

As always, I have to be better, but again I’m trying. Reinventing The Will SIGH

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 100 ~A Will Good Read~

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One more week down and one more book read, not that I will change the challenge to fifteen. I don’t have that sort of faith but shouldn’t I read at least four “Holiday” stories, and NaNoWriMo is in November. “A Will Good Read,” someday

Friday, October 9, 2020

Gospel 100 ~A Will Good Read~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and “If You Don’t Know Me by Now,” I’m building a library. Now why I don’t care much for The Twilight Zone’s – Time Enough at Last (hits too close to home). What wouldn’t I give for all the time in the world to read AND write? Yeah, and what have I been doing for the last few hours again? Hell, I should note Eric Thomas’s words of giving up sleep. At least I woke up to good news. Geez, how I have missed Skybound’s compilations.

It’s a fitting reward for finishing the novel of the week. Now you know I can’t talk about it because it ain’t Thursday. Yet the ending was satisfying enough that I might turn back to Eric Vall’s works. Speaking of things I’m not finishing. Yes, so many different series and so little time. I wish I could tell you the name of my next prominent character. NaNoWriMo begins next month, and I’m no closer to finishing GULP this week. Hell, I did spend one whole night reading through a novel, Wake Me Up Before I Kill You. Yep, that’s what they call foreshadowing. Yes, My Lady, I noticed I’ve used “Hell” twice, but what can I say, it’s one of my favorite words. I’ve got a list of my most hated words, so why not my favorites. I’ve been saying I’m going to get a brand new Pinterest. Only I won’t use any of my words there, like never ever.

I’ve been much too busy reading My Dæmon’s medications and his new food. I’m talking vittles that look pretty good… not that I’m doing a taste test or anything. Only one more reason I’m late today. I went to two BBQ joints, and that Piggie Potato sent me to sleep. So what, did I come into some money? I’m afraid not, but I did work on an off day as if I “resurrected my cashflow.” I promise one of these days, you are going to get all my pop culture references. If I ever publish a book, I’ll be able to contact these celebrity people. “The beautiful people, the beautiful people,” as the song goes. Okay, so going back to my book. Dr. Sarah Annora Haven is covering up the fact that she murdered Deanna. When Father Bridgman should have.

What, the stories over already… it’s A Will Good Read.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 098 ~Well HALO There Will~

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Be yourself… question, what is the worst advice you’ve ever been given? If I could start again, a million miles away as the song goes. I’m no saint but I was raised in the church; I could fake it, I know plenty who do. Well HALO There Will.

Wednesday, October 7, 2020

Gospel 098 ~Well HALO There Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but the truth is, as the song goes, I feel STUPID. Yes, Inspector Echo it’s still one of the ugliest words in the English language. The #1 word of my most hated words. Now don’t expect me to get all positive as I was at the beginning of the year, maybe. Oh, and speaking of negativity, I’m pretty damn sure I don’t have the PLAGUE better known as Coronavirus (COVID-19). My nose is better; while not perfect, I’m still breathing. I guess I can clear my head. Is that a HALO?

Not sure if you’ve seen, but over the past few days, I’ve been trying to let my better qualities show. In the words of Kratos, “Don’t be sorry. Be Better.” Hell, I’ve only played the first God of War and haven’t picked up a controller in ages. Now my smartphone… Anyway, I have been reading every day. Nothing I can talk about, mind you. I should probably get into reading the Pinterest rules. Am I going back to that? As THEY say, Echo, third time is the charm. I noticed yet again I’m listening to an old white guy, SIGH. Speaking of old white guys, I can name two. First, I have my boss at the Day Job. Now he and the GM have given me an “important” assignment of back stocking all the new stuff we’re getting. Heaven has its jobs, and so does Hell, but who am I?

I have to stop convincing myself I’m this massive sinner. Otherwise, I’ll never get over my consuming addiction. Yet I know I’m not a saint either, but I’m out there looking for a HALO, which is more elusive than my work. The thing is I ain’t Trump, I’m taking responsibility. Inspector Echo, is it too little, too late? I don’t want to spend my life alone, and even my little dæmon is in trouble. You must be getting sick of me with the songs, but AHEM I keep trying to do the right thing, But I keep doing it the wrong way. Aren’t he and I a match, Father and son? Today the question is, why am I trying to change. Well, no, it’s more to the tune of fixing my image. That’s a no go too. In truth, I don’t want to be a good man. Only Will hmm?

Nah. Well HALO There Will.


I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 097 ~Will Goes To L~

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Unlike a zombie virus, I think love will find me someday. Well, I do have puppy love if you count my little pancake running around the house. Maybe it’s all his hair floating around everywhere or a change in the weather. Will Goes To L

Tuesday, October 6, 2020

Gospel 097 ~Will Goes To L~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but my favorite color will always be black. While I like tigers, my favorite animal will always be my dæmon. How many secrets do I want to share with you? LOTS. The L-word Baby Doll? I wish I could say that you were the first woman I ever said that too. People can be bad influences using that word all Willy-nilly. I tell my dæmon, you, our other children every day. I love you. Look at me being all sentimental and because of a stuffy nose. I can be a big baby when I get… nope.

Let me LIVE the dream. The Impossible Dream because I’m not sick. Only when you live in the plague era for going on how many months? There were times where I merely existed from one day to another. I want to breathe because one day I’ll have lots to say. Not only about the current bit of LITERATURE I’m reading. I could talk about books for hours and how many times I’ve been, Accidentally In Love, as the song goes. We haven’t taken the kids to the library in ages, and now my favorite movie spot is about to close. It’s like LISTENING to all those 40s and 50s apocalyptic tracks that are now coming true. If something was wrong with me, I wouldn’t want you here and at that time… well, you know me, misery and company as THEY say. Yet you’re my sunshine.

Baby, You’re My LIGHT, so am I in Heaven already. Anything without you would be Hell. Damn, how serious did that get? It’s like looking on WebMD that will always tell you you’re dying. We should be enjoying the sunshine or basking in each other. Surrounding ourselves in this thing called LIFE. If I’ve learned anything from my End of the World ideology. People like me are practically immortal. Well, I got lucky; I didn’t have to wait for the zombie lot to find you. I’m the only boy, and you’re the only girl, ha. We Found LOVE in a hopeless place. Yeah, do I want to stay listening to Spotify all day. I could hear you tell me that you love me repeatedly. The kids are someone laughing at the dæmon. He would Dance On Our Graves now. Hate keeps you living; love’s worth dying. Will Goes To L

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 096 ~Doubt Drips And Floods Minds~

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People crying for money, laughing at me, and I’m sure some Trump supporters are out of relief. Sometimes I feel like tearing up, but there is something else coming out of my eyes, and that’s fear of uncertainty. Doubt Drips And Floods Minds

Monday, October 6, 2020

Gospel 096 ~Doubt Drips And Floods Minds~

Hundred And Fifty-Sixth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can afford to get medical care like Trump. I’ll never have to hear that humming in the house ever again (yes, it has returned). How about we finish our conversation before wrestling comes on. I’m about to start sounding like Georgina from the movie Get Out. I don’t have the plague, Madam Justice. My nose is acting kind of funny, that’s all. Damn, that humming ended, I don’t know when and has started back today. We’ll still be talking when it’s time for WWE.

Now, Madam Justice, you know how I talk about FEAR, but doubt is a relative. Hell, let’s talk about the Day Job’s humiliation. I tried hanging up those doggy sweaters, got scared, and left them. So yeah, the new guy put them up no problem, and I looked SIGH, STUPID. When I came back to the house, I was all in reading the latest novel, and knowing me, all I wanted to do was fall asleep. Not because it’s terrible, but that’s what I do? Am I tired? I have another word for it, Madam Justice. If anything, I’m damn lazy, slothful, good for nothing. What about my OCD over everything? Oh, I do mean everything. I had a plan this afternoon that got spoiled because some lady was outside Walmart, begging for money. Afterward, I’m sitting there doubting I have cash for ranch wings.

That’s why I’m sitting on the sofa, lying in bed, hell, staring at my phone in a parked car. It’s like floating, you know. Madam Justice, I can’t swim, and I literally can’t float in a pool. Only when I’m right here, in bed, or a zombie, I’m keeping my head above water just so. Every day I’m fighting like crazy and then wonder why I’m going mad with a straight face. I read about this torture, where a drop of water to the temple continuously will get that result. Yet I continue to sit or lie, and I keep breathing, but how much longer? I don’t mean to sound so dark. Notice what I’m not talking about… I have such a good joke, but no. I doubt my resolve, along with everything else in my life. Has the humming stopped, or have I stopped worrying about it right now?

Sweat, blood, tears, sloppy writing. Doubt Drips And Floods Minds.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 095 ~It’s The “Willing” Hour~

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People talk about seeing the light, there’s the sun, my son, the glow of my computer screen (writing), and please can I take my mind off of headlights if you know what I mean? It’s The “Willing” Hour.

Sunday, October 4, 2020

Gospel 095 ~It’s The “Willing” Hour~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means, well, God only knows what I would do with that wealth. Haven’t I said that before? Anyway, for you, it’s the witching hour. Um, nope, it’s 6:25 AM, but you were up at 4:05. You’re getting ever so much closer to “Wake Up At 4:00 AM Every Day Will Change Your Life.” Now I’m not here to reiterate that video. Don’t I always repeat myself? You’re not learning the lessons, are you; sitting on the sofa with a sleepy Dæmon. You want the WOMEN, to WAKE up happy, then WORK.

Today is always about the LIST of those Six Impossible Things. You’ve had three hours, and what have you done. The Walking Dead, Call me a LEGEND, a shower, shave, and sit down. Speaking of which, The Walking Dead comes back tonight, so good things. Entertaining yourself should be the last thing on your list. Hell, you’ve even flirted with the idea of starting Pinterest again? Albeit you’ll block it because people do suck. That, of course, brings me back to you with so many distractions. Don’t touch that phone, dude. In ten minutes, your three-hour window of opportunity is gone, but what about yesterday? I know that’s my fault. Besides sleeping and fighting off addiction, I was zoned out. Do you know I didn’t hint at porn to Lady Lu? Wow, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Going To Bed Before Midnight Always
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Succubus by A.J. Markam
    Completed

A score of thirty-four, so yeah, an F, but what does that number even mean? The Goodreads Challenge got done. Ten books. Yet I want you to make it eleven. Incredible how damn easy it is for you to become distracted. Focus on Succubus 2 (Hell To Pay), will you? Mathematics is such a bore until it comes to what you should be doing and, above all, living. Instead, you rather count sex scenes, suspensions, and the hours of sleep you’re getting. Although you got six last night, it’s never enough, and no, don’t check the Day Job. You’re here right now facing the man in the mirror, and when it’s 7:45 AM, you’re moving to the dining room table. Yes, you’re removing yourself from your comfort zone. And again, I don’t mean to sound like so many repeated motivations. You have Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Going To Bed Before Midnight Always
  6. I AM Finishing Succubus 2 (Hell To Pay) Another A.J. Markam Title

Damn, these things have lasted almost the whole year. Exhaustion and Erotica are not rewards. Work, It’s The “Willing” Hour.”

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 094 ~Dying For The Will~

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I would kill for a nap right now, but why not for money, is that any better? At least when I’m sleeping, no one is being hurt fictionally or factually but didn’t my son wake me up yesterday. His heart problems… “Dying For The Will, where’s my heart?”

Saturday, October 3, 2020

Gospel 094 ~Dying For The Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and yet have no one to leave my fortune to. If I had the money, somewhere on the list would be how to make dogs live longer. Yesterday I brought up that the Dæmon and I had a bit of a scare. My son’s heart was working too hard, and my heart? It seems only when it’s breaking, is when I realize I have one at all. Every other time well… as you know, I commit many a sin, most based on FEAR. While not one of the seven deadly or nine circles a crime. But today, let’s talk about SLOTH.

THEY say it’s the most difficult sin to define, and like any disease it is, will or has killed me. Hell, if this was the Day Job we were talking about, I wouldn’t be complaining. Don’t I love writing? Wasn’t I almost on time today, 4:15 AM? Get up at 4:00 AM, 3:00 if ET. Dearest Lu, I don’t mean to be so down today. I’m a black man living in America. Even when we’re up, we’re down for the struggle, praying, or living the dream. I guess all those typing lessons in school didn’t take as I watch my fingers flying and son napping. However, I always know that I can do so much better for him. For us, but I might die right here on this couch someday because I neither want to do or try. Why is it every day I sound more like a Republican, but then again, I want to vote. Let’s say I’m inspired.

To what, help my country and indeed the world. Didn’t I talk about wearing masks and how I didn’t want anyone to die? If anything, I like the apocalyptic aesthetic. Well, it turns out that was false hmm as I watch people celebrate (you know who) get carted off for treatment. Only there’s no antidote for laziness, for Sloth. I wonder why are conversations take so long, Lady Luna, and it’s because I want everything to be perfect… Now again, isn’t that one more lie? My fingers and tongue have all the energy in the world to make up excuses. Of course, if this was the Day Job? Now that’s something I don’t want to lose. Yet here I am sitting, writing, I love it but Dying For The Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 093 ~Will’s Got A TALE~

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So I read ten books this year… yeah, compared to other years *cough* forty or more. Now I shouldn’t be coughing with what I read this morning. Between the president and the story Succubus, I should be writing or preparing. Will’s Got A TALE

Friday, October 2, 2020

Gospel 093 ~Will’s Got A TALE~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I still lie. What rich person doesn’t lie? I don’t like to think of it like that, writing fiction that I forget, the fighting. Don’t forget all the FORNICATION. Apologies, Lady Sophia. I TELL too many TALES about well TAIL.

TELLING all the excuses I want to make this morning about why we’re late having this conversation. Yeah, did I misspell the word LAZY or how about FEAR. Geez, I’m not fond of this life, or my computer cord’s messing up or my Dæmon. Losing him is the great FEAR. I could be empathic and tell you my feelings on John Legend and Chrissy Teigen losing a child. What about the political news? The Trumps are having a hard time, but I’m trying not to be, um me. I could be drawing up protest signs or making my voice heard. Awesome if I could make myself clear to M. Anime. An intelligent mind, no doubt, and then again? Okay, I’ll shut up now. It’s not like I’m telling anyone else anything considering my friend’s list.

TALES, need to be told, Lady Sophia. In that case, where are the eight hundred words I pledged yesterday? Am I getting ready for NaNoWriMo? If I Were A Rich Man… yeah, I would do what Republicans do, cheat. Hell, I’m a poor man, and I’m not opposed to it. Seriously Lady Sophia, what am I going to write about? My Lady, I usually cast the Basic Bitch (pardon my language) as the villainess in my works. Of course, my last two novels have been inspired by Cherry. I don’t need to think about her, the second day, NO FAPPING.

TAIL isn’t what I want from her, no, not at first. It’s Yabbos. I know My Lady, never a day goes by that I don’t bring up sex. Maybe it’ll help if I said that I finished Succubus by A.J. Markham? I told you I spend all my money on Yabbos. I bought the second book. However, back to my works, babes, bullets, and brothels. If it’s not that, what about my poetry? You saw how it worked out with MILF Tres. At least I haven’t said anything STUPID about MILF Cuatro, a.k.a. Specs. I got to write for money, but the Day Job PAYS.

Thankfully my Dæmon’s story is ongoing. Will’s Got A TALE.

I Will Have No Fear