Tag: Truth

Gospel 082 ~Do, There Is No Try~

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Star Wars is always good for wisdom, but it doesn’t help if I don’t take it in. Maybe if I was getting paid pittance for it, but I’ve had my blog for four years, and I take comfort in it. The Day Job for nine years, and I hate it. Do, There Is No Try

Monday, September 21, 2020

Gospel 082 ~Do, There Is No Try~

Hundred And Fifty-Fourth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but is that enough to invest in Disney? Madam Justice, I have so many reservations. More like I misspelled the word excuses. At this particular moment in time (Time-Travel), I’m pretty damn motivated. Do you remember how I said earlier this morning (Sunday) I wanted to take another nap? Well, since I was busy trying to save my porno stash. Also, I’m making room for more… @QOCWorkblog, Alice Little, more Tifa Lockhart. Now how am I so clear when it comes to that, besides being a guy.

When it comes to writing, here I am. All it took was one girl calling me skeevy, which morphed into a going on now; four-year blog. It was never trying with writing. It’s what I am, but I didn’t talk to Lady Lu forever. Regardless of everything else, writing’s me. Madam Justice, to my left, lies the Dæmon. Now my views on love… damn but with him, food, water, attention, comfy spots. Am I a good father? It’s why I fail every week because I want to be. So what about his chip, his nails? He could use a bath. Only no, and why not? Again am I being a better man. I’m still thinking about my Six Impossible Things. I’m motivated, but every moment is a struggle to not look at something more ADULT, and in that, I have failed. It’s been two days.

While I was waiting for updates, I was on my phone looking up my lost Pinterest boards. I’m not going back but tell that to Dear Future Wife. I lost everything, so that includes Looking For My Swirl, so finding pictures? Of course, I will, but it will be harder. Madam Justice, the dumbest thing, remains. I hate the Day Job, but there is no trying there, I do. Everything I want out of life is trying but as the song questions. “Why do the things I hate come so naturally?” Because I’m trying to have the existence everyone believes. Impossible, Immoral, Insane, are the words I use for everything I want. Master Yoda said Luke was too old. It’s been about two weeks since Existence Day, but I’ve wanted to be someone else or not be here for years.

A scary thought, but I’m not there yet with Depression. Being me, I must do. Do, There Is No Try.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 080 ~Willie Gone Diddilly On~

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She’s out of my life, it’s out of my life, and I’m no good with goodbyes, but neither is anyone else sadly. All I know are magicians, manifestations, and mistakes. Is it any wonder I’m into whips, chains, ropes, and fabric. “Willie Gone Diddilly On.”

Saturday, September 19, 2020

Gospel 080 ~Willie Gone Diddilly On~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. This means besides Target and 5-hour ENERGY, add Pinterest to my sickness and rage. Now don’t sound I “presidential” going to war with some company. So like Trump with Tik Tok. Today, I’ll be pretty selfish.

Sure, I could talk about the passing of Ruth Bader Ginsburg, may she rest in peace. There’s also how angry I’m being to with Dæmon since he growled at me yesterday. Hell, I’m still a little perturbed by how rude I was to that internet salesman last Friday at Walmart. At the Day Job, one of the managers told me I can’t go around ignoring people. Today and every other, I’m supposed to be a father. I can’t stay in a rage forever, which is one more reason I’m always exhausted. That and fear, finding out my Pinterest was suspended.

A second time Lady Lu, and there won’t be a third. All of that “work” and like finding out about some girl in the middle of the night. She’s gone. It’s gone, and I’m going to be sick. I don’t know how to speak the feeling. It’s like I’m slamming into the ground, trying to bury myself or find a staircase right into Hell. I need some sleep, but at the same time, I can’t close my eyes. My stomach is empty, and at the same time, I want to puke my guts out. The only way I’ll find them.

I keep going back to the words from my big “sister” as always. “You can’t build a strip club next to a school.” I didn’t do something so heinous, and at the same time, I declare guilt, my many sins. I did finishing reading that W. Anton book yesterday, so shouldn’t I be a man about this? If anything, I should shut-up talking to you and the girls about, well anything. I could lose this blog tomorrow, lose another profile whenever. I haven’t felt this bad since… MILF Dos, the Rainbow Girl, All The Jazz, my last Pinterest, was taken.

How I need to remember how I got over that one. Didn’t I tell you before my aunt said I wanted to destroy the world? I’m not looking to gain the world but to buy back my soul. My soul was before me, then poof. Pictures worth thousands of words all Willie Gone Diddilly On.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 079 ~Willy, That’s So Interesting~

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Can’t say I have been reading a whole lot unless it was written on a body part. I’ve promised to read at least ten books this year, and I’ve barely gotten through eight. Do I have any other hobbies? “Willy, That’s So Interesting.”

Friday, September 18, 2020

Gospel 079 ~Willy, That’s So Interesting~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I should already be invested in several businesses. Perhaps this is blasphemy, but being a southern man, I don’t think I’ve ever been inside a Hobby Lobby. I’ve never gone through an episode of Game Of Thrones all the way. Neither did I care for The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Wasn’t it just yesterday I said I didn’t like sports and I hate football. Ok, somebody wants to cut up my “Southern Card” right now. What you’ve never watched “It’s A Southern Thing” hm?

Now I didn’t mean to go in this way (maybe I did with the title.) Well, a great man said, “vote with your crotch.” Brains have their moments, guts too. Your heart can be broken. Your naughty bits, though, always know what they want. What is most pleasing to man? One of my motivations talks about this. You move towards your desire. Why do I know about GoT… Maisie Williams, Sophie Turner, Emilia Clarke, Natalie Dormer, Nathalie Emmanuel. I could go on. With Rocky Horror, “Touch-A, Touch-A, Touch Me.” football, of course, has cheerleaders, Abbey Brooks, Alanah Rae, Kagney Linn Karter. Yes, all actresses but such are my interests and:

Reading, Writing, Poetry, Short Stories, Novels, Music, Apocalptypic tunes from the 40s – 60s, Hiking, Movies, Pets, Anime, Youtube, Blogging, Video Games, Research, Zombie Survival, Virtual Reality, Girlfriend Reviews, WWE, Art, Paintball, Camping, Board Games, Meditation, Journaling, Learning About Electronics Laser Tag, Larping, Cosplay, Comic-Con, Looking For Models, Making Adult Videos AEE, BDSM, Sex Toys, Erotica…

Is that all? Hell, Trump slept with Stormy Daniels, and I find her Yabbos quite interesting. Trump’s the president but a white man who wants to be in charge. That ain’t new by any stretch of the imagination. Now my survival… let’s not go there, but people as a whole? I should show more interest, but who does in me, other than to make sure I’m not “stalking” them. It’s a difference between caring for Yabbos and them as a person. Either way ends up screwing me up, to be sure. So what’s the balance, is there such a thing? Lucky “I got that magic you call ADD” as the song goes. Well, I shouldn’t say that, and as a matter of fact, I’m not fond of the word interesting. People have nothing to say.

Like any books I’m writing… well, Willy, That’s So Interesting.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 075 ~No Doesn’t Make You Cowardly

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When I was a kid, the big thing was “Just Say No” to drugs, and as I grew older, everyone is trying to get you on something. If anything, I say no to myself all the time, but when it comes to everyone else? No Doesn’t Make You Cowardly

Monday, September 14, 2020

Gospel 075 ~No Doesn’t Make You Cowardly

Hundred And Fifty-Third Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and may that be one day be because of you. First off, welcome back, Madam Justice. Existence Day is now over and done with, and I am now one week into thirty-six. A part of me would like to scream out, much like Luke Skywalker, “No. No. That’s not true. That’s impossible!” My how the time flies, I tell ya. Speaking of time, no, I didn’t get up at 4:00 AM on one of my days off, but here we are. No, I’m not trying to do better because I’m asleep again when I acknowledge it aloud.

Look at me, destroying my point already. To this day, Madam Justice, I still feel guilty when I tell the Day Job no. I excuse myself by saying I get no respect there, which is true. Of course, there is always fear, and that is something I can never say no to with everything. How about my newest obsession, which I hope you will allow me to work on some, while we have our chat. What are you going to tell me, no? Madam Justice, I’d love for a girl to Just Say No, bye, and let’s not start with creepy or SKEEVE (shudders). No, is so small, hm? Yet the damage it can cause and how I understand more than most the power of words. Is this the reason I say no to my destiny? I’m going to be saying no today, considering everything that I have to do. Sunrise is at 6:30, and yes, I dicked around on my phone for about an hour. Pardon my language, which is another thing. I can’t say no to speaking evil about myself. However, working on my About Me page well:

“Hey, you ain’t never had a Friend Like Me. While this might not be Disney, depending on your taste. What are the odds you’ve ever met an African-American erotic writer who’s a guy and into the end of the world? My heroines are never that heroic, and my endings are “happyish.” I’m an open book, or I hope to be someday. I’m always looking to expand into other forms of adult entertainment. Manuscripts, models, and movies. Looking to make money and memories with mammaries, bazongas, yabbos. Down with black and white and not only paper.”

What do you think, Madam Justice? “Yes, no, maybe, I don’t know,” as the song goes. Well, it’s not what you were expecting, and I apologize. No, you’re not Inspector Echo but again, if some “people” would tell me NO. One of the reasons I look at myself as being so scary. Also, I’m terrified of the word when it comes out of my mouth. Better a slow yes than a fast no, I heard someone say. Either way, Madam Justice, I wish I could choose to be brave, but no, right? Yes, I’ll be afraid, yes I’ll go to the Day Job, and yes I’ll get this done but…

No Doesn’t Make You Cowardly.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 073 ~It’s For The Wills~

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The end of the week and nothing has changed. So why don’t I go out there and do something? I’ve asked before what am I waking up for, and while I love my Dæmon like pancakes, Yabbos, and um… line, oh yeah, writing. “It’s For The Wills”

Saturday, September 12, 2020

Gospel 073 ~It’s For The Wills~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but what’s it all for? Fear, humiliation, the regrets that come later? It’s not for the cash because I would be published by now. Now Lady Lu, don’t give me that, you don’t write for the money. I have written plenty of stories I know won’t make a dime. My motivations say time and again to find out what you want. Now I know what I don’t want, and given the Law of Attraction, I won’t give them a voice. Still, what have I been doing today? Fixing my profile, a picture, and there’s Yabbos too.

How I deem myself a SADIST, but I’m more a masochist. “I’m just a sucker for pain,” as the song goes. Now I could be having a bout of depression on account of NO FAP, eight days. Yet here I am saying give me more. Am I a better man this week for anything, hm? It’s like finishing NaNoWriMo, I’m waiting for I don’t know what. The money to fall into my lap and dammit, I wish I could stop thinking about sex right now. That’s the thing with an addict; the first week is always the hardest. Oh, pardon my words, my dear Lu. It could be that I was trying to take my mind off “Existence Day.” Yeah, by offering MILF Dos $500 or Cherry €250. No, Bella Thorne, I’d pay for some BBW in the UK. Hell, the closest I’ve gotten to a present is Adam & Eve Bangin’ Betty Stroker Kit.

So pain, addiction, being broke, any more bad emotions I need to exorcise? The fact that I might get verified? How’s that for regret? Well, now I have a place for my language. On the other side, do I need people knowing all my secrets, and these are the worst. Humiliation at the Day Job… I still have some time off, and again am I doing anything to avoid such a fate? If anything Lady Luna, I’m trying to live, and that’s what I’m looking for. A reason to stay alive because I don’t feel it. Writing is life, but once this is all over. Yeah, there it is, the fear of what comes next, shopping, wasting the rest of the day. There are no thrills here, only the horror.

The horror, the horror. As always, It’s For The Wills

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 072 ~Writing Will Be Selfish~

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I get accused of being prideful all the time but never selfish. Everyone knows what I spend money on, and I didn’t even go out for breakfast, but that was because of something else in my pants. “Writing Will Be Selfish,” and I should learn to shut up

Friday, September 11, 2020

Gospel 072 ~Writing Will Be Selfish~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I’m still learning all the rules. Leave it to Monday being “Existence Day,” that I didn’t cover one. I did look up such and such instructions. On fixing the lawn trimmer, an email from Pinterest, and verification from… a secret. I should also mention Lady Sophia besides my “projects,” the little I’ve said of my sister’s birthday. It came right after Existence Day. I’ve missed saying Happy Birthday a few times and Congratulations. Here’s something; today is one more year down from the 9/11 attacks.

Writing or more to the point, my writing is quite a selfish undertaking. Now you ask me how I can say that? For example, don’t I share our chats with the world? Well, maybe not as much as Dirty Diana’s, but I want people to read. Words are weapons, Sophia. Taking a look at Twitter, didn’t I put myself to the hazard. Hell, it was DoubleMarshmallow @EroMaximus that was naked. Still, I said I wanted to see, so doesn’t that make me… Yep better not to voice some things, speak goodness so ok then yeah. Now I’m always sharing those Tony Baker and John Hunt videos with friends. For a moment, I was about to add, isn’t that innocent? They’re currently less Disney channel and more “So let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel” like the song.

In truth Lady Sophia, I wish I could be more selfish. Now ask me why My Dæmon is scratching at the door. Writing hurts both of us in time. Ok, I have been out cold after cutting the grass and why’s that. My “Father” and all his words, so I know such raw power hm. I look to Pinterest, I think about Milfs Dos and Tres, Cherry as well. No woman appreciates being written about in such a manner. It’s far better than acting as a panty dropper for other men. And pornorific cornucopia, which is some of my journals. Entertaining as my stories are to me, I know that they won’t be published. I swear this morning, wasn’t I listening to all my motivations? Lady Sophia, I even came up with a new plan. I doubt Skye Warren or S. Wolf stoop so low.

Speaking of S. Wolf AHEM “Sex Zombies,” which is how I’ve been feeling and sleeping more. Writing Will Be Selfish.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 068 ~Willing Existence Day To Be~

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Well, I’m back to time-traveling because I will be too busy surviving the day to bother with writing. Today is like someone announcing the annual Purge and that means I have to hide. Only if I were to have the Perfect Day… Willing Existence Day To Be

Monday, September 7, 2020

Gospel 068 ~Willing Existence Day To Be~

To Existence Day #36

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, yes I am. Madam Justice, today is not about a rule. It’s Existence Day. Now yesterday, I talked about reality, but today I want to speak on Existence Day um, why not now. So if you dare…

My Dæmon is an old man, much like me. He has a little beard, maybe a few gray hairs, but he runs around with my two-legged kids. If I have a son and daughter, of course, Luke and Leia. Three daughters, Katniss, Tris, and Ember. Anyway, how’s breakfast in bed? My loving wife has long gotten me over hating today. She was up early for a “variety” of reasons, and after a kiss, good morning, she’s taking pictures. After breakfast, there’s a shower, but of course, I’m not alone, and why would I want to be. No more hiding today. As I walk through the house, several of the staff are wishing me well. I don’t grumble at them. I don’t have my earphones blaring away. Even now, hearing my voice sounds a little weird.

Now I’m not working today, but somebody has to keep things running. Before my beautiful wife, I would probably have a celebration at one of my many brothels. I have established several, so there’s plenty of stops to make. Everyone’s excited, and the gifts wow. That wonderful wife of mine has a surprise at the studio. Most of the staff will be taking a lunch break as we make a movie. I swear the woman is insatiable, and I’m getting used to my birthday suit.

We take the kids to the beach. While I’m still not much of a fan of the water, my wife is a talented swimmer. My Dæmon is barking his head off, but he’s trying to pull the kids away from the water. He’s getting too old for this stuff, but what about me? My age? Heading back to the house, well geez, everyone has arrived. Cosplayers, writers, some of the tamer girls I know. Indiana Gone, M. Anime, a couple of the MILFS. I don’t dwell on those missing, and my mom is a bit freaked out, but she did raise a gentleman, I think. “Surprise,” my wife announces in her dress, and she brought a friend. Happy Existence Day.

To me, that would be perfect, happy to be alive. Willing Existence Day To Be

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 066 ~The Plan Will Work~

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What am I doing today? Of course, a conservation today, walking my kid, cleaning up for Existence Day as if I might have company. No, I will have company if I take a chance but first comes faith. The Plan Will Work

Saturday, September 05, 2020

Gospel 066 ~The Plan Will Work~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and it would be a miracle. Joe Biden said that no miracle is coming, at least not from on high. Now what have I said about listening to white men about everything… America right? Anyway, while I disagree with some of Morgan Freeman’s views on race. I remember his words in the film Bruce Almighty. Be the miracle. I crawled out of bed before 8:00 AM. Took my Dæmon for walkies. I have been cleaning for three days straight. Then we have next week; Existence Day.

I don’t have any arrangements, Lady Luna. Hell, I have more of an idea of what I’m doing tomorrow than Existence Day. I should also add that my little sister’s “Emergence Day” is the day after my own. Am I comparing my sister to the Locusts from Gears of War? Funny that one of my Existence Days would take place in a hospital, well, of course, didn’t the first one ha, ha. I’ve always talked about if terminators existed, I would send one through time. Is there a chance that I could go all “Looper?” Keeping up movie-wise, hmm? I would be glad if you were dear Lady Lu. I’ve been thinking about something, well since last night; delusions of grandeur as they may be. Again, me and my pride to be a ladies’ man, a businessman, right. Staying Alive?

There are two girls, one hinting at reconciliation, another I shouldn’t mention now. I have two days to figure something out. Indeed, only today. Both mothers and would have no time, and yet I’m here. I shouldn’t be wasting my time, but I know the truth of all this, Lu. I don’t want to spend Existence Day alone. Now the other side of the coin, I don’t want to shut the door entirely, and of course, I need the Day Job. Sure, I have my Dæmon. I expect to hear from Indiana Gone. Yet, I won’t even tell M. Anime. Like I’ll see her Yabbos. Somehow though, I have this idea about MILF Tres, aka Special K, and she who will not be named. OKAY won’t say anything, and I want to cut my phone off because I don’t want to hear from my Olds.

I’m Lord Give Me A Sign. I need to hear better men. Man In The Mirror… The Plan Will Work.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 065 ~Will Protests Neighborhood Donations~

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I never come back and read my work; unless I’m looking for a name for a woman who works in um “entertainment.” Anyway, a woman was asking for donations to fix the sign in the neighbor the other day and… Will Protests Neighborhood Donations.

Friday, September 04, 2020

Gospel 065 ~Will Protests Neighborhood Donations~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, well t-minus 3 days. Do you remember when I would play PCH every day, and all of a sudden, they were headed in this direction? I spent that day believing I won the grand prize. Of course, I didn’t, some lady did, but C’est la vie. I talk an awful lot about giving some women my money. It doesn’t matter if I’m cleaning, paying for my Dæmon’s meds, or if the chicks are animated. Yes, I’m still bankrolling plenty of artists. Nagoonimation, Niisath, and others, best not mentioned. Making a difference?

I didn’t cut a check or sign a money order for the sweet lady in the neighborhood. You know me, Lady Sophia, I can for damn sure write excuses. Now I meant to call Wednesday but my “father.” Yesterday I was slothful and let time wind down, without caring ever. How entertaining it is watching the Trump peons stumble over themselves. It’s inspiring to watch people stand-up for themselves. Hell, I even believe in the cause and have been waiting for this for… “What’s My Age Again?” So, where are my protests signs? Donations to the cause. I am sitting at over $1,000. I had more but did I mention how much I hate Serra Hyundai. A story for another time. I could be supporting Biden and Harris. Where’s my Black Lives Matter merch? Why aren’t I fighting against injustice?

Well, I write atrocities, so there’s that. The world is getting worse, and all I can think about is the worst day of my life coming up. If I’m not talking to you, Lady Soph, I’m writing the worse crimes because they turn me on. The things I like that I can’t; it still sucks. Honestly, you know how I feel about charity. No, I’m not talking about Charity from Passions. Nor Charity Zoey Mars from my latest novel, the beautiful blonde UK vixen. I want to help, only at the same time, there’s so much money worldwide. Why is it left to me always? Humanity believes I don’t care, but what have I told you a million times over. If Melody Parker shows up wearing a MAGA hat, I’ll vote Trump. I would have paid anything to see MILF Dos’s Yabbos again. Sex workers are mad at Bella Thorne.

Yabbos, I read and write, but Will Protests Neighborhood Donations.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 061 ~What If Once Isn’t Enough~

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Someone said, “I’ll try anything once” now, I can’t say I exactly live by that myself, but if I strike out three times, I’ll walk away. Yes, says that man that is going on ten attempts and around 36 days come… um, nevermind. What If Once Isn’t Enough

Monday, August 31, 2020

Gospel 061 ~What If Once Isn’t Enough~

Hundred And Fifty-Second Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I would never spend a dime on baseball. Nor would I pay anything for basketball, football, soccer, and the list goes on. Sure, I like nachos and a well-cooked hotdog, peanuts, and Icees, but I hate sports. Not all sorts, mind you. There are no Olympics this year, and I paused wrestling for our chat. Now I love movies. I went to see Black Panther at least four times. Yes, still thinking about Chadwick Boseman. Back to something HAPPY … Yabbos.

Wait, we’re not supposed to be speaking about those. Didn’t I say something about learning my lesson? Of course, you know I’ll talk about Yabbos forever, but HUT ONE, HUT TWO, HUT THREE, HUT! Yes, I know the difference between baseball and football, but I prefer music. Shame on a Nigga by the Wu-Tang Clan to be specific. Anyway, my point is I fucked up (pardon my language), and I’m not going for four. Only I want to Madam Justice. I continue to lose friends left and right like something off that movie Unfriended. I give myself too much credit that I could be a good man, but here I am, an open book. The battle cry of say his or her name and I don’t speak ill of the dead. If I talk to the living, I would be a horrible person once again.

Here I am talking about screwing up for the fourth time, but my madness and rage are constant. Fire is the only thing getting me through the Day Job because my fear threatens to overflow. How is it that I walk into Hell again and again, and I swear I know it? It’s like choosing to FAP with the knowledge of what I will feel afterward. Yeah, even now, before speaking to you, I was looking for Ariella Ferrera. A reminder of you know who as Momokun is of Cherry. As far as Milf Tres goes, now she was the easiest to forget, I admit.

“The Day” is almost here, and how many times has it been 36? Hell, how have I ever made it this long? Of course, each year, The Day shows that I must like something about this place but what hmm?

Yabbos seeing them again, but what is the meaning of life? Seek out a kingdom, make god bleed, love Madam? What If Once Isn’t Enough?

I Will Have No Fear