Episode 291 ~Blue Balls, Purple Wills~

One of the first to see the blue sky after the purple I have been up so late, eyes open wide, pick up a finger put it down and then again, not to mention other parts of my anatomy as well. “Blue Balls, Purple Wills”

Thursday, April 18, 2019

Episode 291 ~Blue Balls, Purple Wills~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Millionaire right now but if I could ask the UNIVERSE for more? Let’s say some men ask for bigger pants. I want a woman, not that I need one. What I could use is a good night sleep, and B III is the best cuddle partner ever. For these past few days, sex has been to me what thirty million was to Montgomery Brewster. You get sick of it, but in the end, you want so much more.

I still remember when I was building my HENTAI collection, and now I’ve caught up to one. Hot Juicy Teacher a.k.a. Onna Kyoushi and the character of Honoka Toudou. Only I should also mention her little sister Mikoto Toudou. The question is why; trust me it doesn’t take much to get me going. One more reason, I’ve been working to the midnight hour. Too busy edging, hell I didn’t even do my morning routine today. So I should be grateful for the pain. Also for seeing the sunrise with my schedule at the day job and my conversations with you girls. Can you see why I’m making it my life’s goal to stay in bed with something, someone beautiful? Not that I don’t enjoy the sun, though I wear hoodies.

I am keeping all the darkness covered up on the outside as well as within. That is because of things like Hot Juicy Teacher Volume 3: Science. One particular scene when the four boys gangbang the Toudou sisters. While I’m busy acknowledging my darkest inclinations, I even used that scene in my book. I am making it a mother and a daughter. Now if it’s any consolation, I’m erasing the daughter’s mind to a certain degree. Of course, there is one way to clear the “little head,” but again I’m fighting the fight. I want to be a better man. Yeah and own a company the likes of PureTaboo or the Fetish Network oh and a brothel, that hasn’t changed.

You know that might explain it, relating to the character of Yuuichirou Date. A young man accused of a crime he didn’t commit. Only then he became the monster everyone said he was. Next, he was forced to sit back and watch Honoka “taken,” and he didn’t even get Kaho Yuuki in the end. Damn sexy brunettes, Alycia Debnam-Carey continues to haunt my dreams. So I fight a severe case of Blue Balls, Purple Wills.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 285 ~Will Is Cloning Around~

I love success, more than I like to sleep, though there is a part of me that wants nothing but a bed and by next month I’ll be in full recovery mode, with another first draft and as always, a million dollars. Will Is Cloning Around

Friday, April 12, 2019

Episode 285 ~Will Is Cloning Around~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars? Well at least for an hour and a half, sometimes less. (Thank You B III) I can believe, I have it sitting in the bank. I could if I published a book you think? Still, even in that, they all turn out the same Lady Sophia.

You know how I tend to put myself into every novel I write. Of course, talking to you and the girls will get the “real” man arrested at some point. Then thrown into a cold cell; I had to turn the A/C on today, again Triple B is happy in his way. Even something as small as this forces me to evolve to learn and grow. “In My Place” as it were; and from dreams to books, and of course “The Law Of Attraction.” I will one day find myself working out of a brothel. So today in my story, Dr. Ember Bridgette Morgan a.k.a. “Angie Griffin.” Also (The Blonde) a.k.a. Alison Angel will discover their bosses are clones of the Main Character. Like Shusaku, Isaku, Kisaku from the Hentai.

Hell, why am I even talking about porn today? Other than the stresses of the Day Job and I come back, attempting to be a better man. Is Chinese food fit right? Doing the Morning Routine, meditation, hypnosis, breathing exercises, rewriting the man I am. Every one of these teachings, some say to work hard. Others speak you have to believe and live as though you have everything you want. Then there’s the one that is going to stay up late, writing the story because I can’t fall behind again. My characters find themselves lost, as I am as of late. If only compared to my life? Yes leave me to wander around a book store looking at half-naked females, and I would be good.

As made as my reputation is at the Day Job. See I had to stop the name calling that was coming and think “One Million Dollars.” Anyway, how they see me at work is written in stone, and that’s exactly how I feel when I walk in. The question is, who in the world do I want to be in the end. So I know, it’s why I’m up so late because this is my life, I’m fighting for, running to, writing down. So don’t think Will Is Cloning Around.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 284 ~Six Degrees Of Will~

I remember that game six degrees of separation, and I’m hoping I can find those types of connections, throughout the universe, in my head, and especially in my novel these days, because a change of work would be just “Great.” Six Degrees Of Will

Thursday, April 11, 2019

Episode 284 ~Six Degrees Of Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars? Put one thing out there in the universe, and you can see though I should switch it up. From If I Had $1,000,000 to “Yes I Have A Million Dollars.” Only as the saying goes ahem Fuck Bitches, Get Money.

Ain’t that the dream Dirty Diana? See I’ve thought about something Chris Rock spoke of when he said the three things men want. “Food Sex, Silence,” and that gave me an idea about the next quarter of my novel. “Signs,” give me fifteen, opening, lunch break, closing, Inventory. Now I know you’re not Lady Sophia, but this next chapter will involve, breaking a woman. Lots of licking and dick sucking, and getting back to work. Now my day job is bleeding into my real work. The point is that everything has connections in some way shape or form. Retail, my love of books, the dinner I ate, the cosplayer’s mouth, the weather and finally writing.

Of course, that’s when I’m not fighting the urge to Fap. Just this morning right away the first girl on my mind was Court Carmody. Her cosplay led me to Mariah Mallard; her boobs made me think of the MILF. Age made me envision young Eileen Kelly. The website got me to Tiernan Hebron. Then her body type had me on Brandy Woods “Debbie” from “The Cheerleaders” (1973). I have spoken about my novel looking like a basic rundown of every sexual fantasy I’ve witnessed. Almost a crutch as it were. When I want to see Angie Griffin or Lucy Tyler and aren’t I dropping names today? Only women in the public eye. Isn’t that ironic, I sit here avoiding everybody but wanting someone who sees everyone. Gangbangs, tentacle porn, I wonder how far my novel will go. Right now it’s straightforward with some traditional, voyeuristic, exhibitionism, so why wait?

The sooner I write my novel (edit) get it published. The next step will be getting money and yes broken record here we go. Now you have to know my goals every day, and that’s only two. I still plan on going out to Nevada, making a bid on one of the ranches “cathouses.” I might start building from the ground up. My what a bordello. With more money a love hotel, restaurant, a strip club, a slice of sin city to make all mine. I am finally heading out to California. I have a movie studio and can write my stories, produce, and direct. Here’s something awesome, have a new cosplayer on my arm or a bunch all in succession. Have my fun, but always I want a family.

The Law of Attraction Dirty Diana. I’m envisioning my first million in the bank. Ask, believe, and receive but you have to work. As the song goes “I’ve got the brains, you’ve got the looks” you know what comes right after that. I’m still, looking to the future I suppose which makes plenty of sense right; Six Degrees Of Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 283 ~Have A Ball Will~

I hate most sports except for the Olympics and Professional Wrestling; I have a ball watching them for the most part, somehow or another I find the balls to say that out loud because I’m no Handsome Prince. “Have A Ball Will”

Wednesday, April 10, 2019

Episode 283 ~Have A Ball Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars? Well, I wouldn’t mind becoming a STUD for Brazzers, Reality Kings, Fetish Network, or Pure Taboo. While I have the balls to say that, I want to be higher than those entities. As for those I’m not ashamed that my balls were ruling my thought process last night. I mean we have the potential of creating life be it the little head or the big head. Our fingers, hell every little step I take. Even in every single breath, I breathe.

Now my second sin for this week is where were my balls when I needed them most. I had to face down two of my managers yesterday. I didn’t have enough of them to tell my “friend” to shut the hell up. Or to tell one more manager how I truly felt. As for having enough. Whether that be my two or the cast I will eventually hire for my Movie Studio, Second Circle Creations. I mentioned before that Math isn’t exactly my strong suit. I’m reminded of a time back in high school, that I was fighting with some kid in French Class. Only the subject got turned to balls, and I said: “at least I have one.” Now that got a laugh and also makes me feel sorry for Trump! WHAT, we all make errors, but I’m not the president. I’m CEO bound.

Keeping in mind corporations have the final jurisdiction in this country. In my eyes, it always comes back to boobs. Either located on the chest, I am one, or I’m figuring out how to get more of both. Yes, I’m pretty selfish I suppose. Still anytime I get a free moment I’m thinking about cash to get this done. Of course, I’m spending even more cash on the cosplayer. I bought her a “bridal outfit.” Talk about high hopes but no. Make money and get her and a dozen other cosplayers to work for me. That’s including one that has a code for Adam and Eve.

Last but not least B always stands for my son B III. Only between my balls, quest for boobs, and balking at the notion of not doing so. I haven’t checked on business. So again being careful what I put out there in the universe, Willie and happy thoughts.

Like Bryant, this blonde from last night’s fantasies. Though more to the hardening point I was writing about Tiernan Hebron in my book. Now that Inspector Echo is my biggest sin (besides Rule 79). My nameless novel is merely a list of sexual fantasies. So for this and all of my sins, I ask forgiveness. For still wanting to work for someone else, letting LUST overtake COURAGE. For going back in time, for making the president human instead of the monster I know he is.

For me being a boob, spending bucks on boobs, and putting business aside for a little while. In exchange for Pinterest boards. Also banging my book; Have A Ball Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 278 ~Need Willing Positive Vibes~

Energy Flows Where Attention Goes, something I’ve heard this week. When I put myself into a “Happy” place I feel it and today; this goes against all my motivations, but people don’t want me happy. Need Willing Positive Vibes.

Friday, April 5, 2019

Episode 278 ~Need Willing Positive Vibes~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, non-lethal erasers. Now you’re not Inspector Echo, but I feel I owe myself an apology. For all the good I’m attempting, and it’s as if, well you know I repeat myself, a lot. I want to rewrite my life story, and people won’t let me so?

Well, take my new novel for example. Today I intend to reach Chapter Five “Sorry, She’s Out Of Stock…INGS.” Even though the words are pushing through. I know this journey will be worth it, positive vibes. Despite an almost midnight hour, Chapter Four “You Sale Me Something Good” was started. Writing does make me feel proud of myself when I don’t stop. I even see the story coming together, in its strange way. Now I thought I knew the definition between good writing and terrible. Lady Sophia I worked it out today, and I realized that I wasn’t even close.

Horrible writing is when I was sitting in the breakroom today having to write out my schedule. Talk about archaic but then literally posting it on the wall. One, because management is a bunch of liars. Two because I enjoy humiliation, and three, if not that, indifference. It’s writing and having to reword everything and Lady Sophia I am grateful. I am putting the method of “The Secret” into practice. Catching myself in some terrible thoughts and replacing them. You know I talk about honesty even in my fiction. Only nowadays I’m either lying to myself or like PORN; I give in. I’ll allow myself the horniness, or in the case of work, I accept the rage, madness, and stupidity.

Stupidity, the only thing that snapped me out of it today was the FEAR of what would happen next. All the vibes I was putting out there in the universe, and I’m sure I missed “something.” Still, the worry is working its way up and out of my life. Unlike the porn but as I’ve explained before; research. The scene with the schoolgirl and the guy in the bathroom. I could find it in two seconds, but I’ve avoided “adult entertainment” for the most part. Not Pinterest, Instagram, or a pretty girl’s Snapchat. How dare I forget my pornographic story as I’m so “relaxed.” I slept too long, my Brainbuddy routine, meditation music. I am getting ready for the writing that needs doing. A story I can rewrite Anytime, So I Need Willing Positive Vibes.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 277 ~Green Around The Willie~

Still all about these redheads today and more so my green, how did Lance say in GTA, “your green and my dead brother’s white lad.” and yes I know he was referring to drugs, but we all have our sickening vices. Green Around The Willie

Thursday, April 4, 2019

Episode 277 ~Green Around The Willie~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, I suppose being ALIVE was Adam’s paycheck. For naming all the animals in the Garden Of Eden. I should work on my names and titles; this one was gross. Only less than “Blue Waffle” and is Fleshlight’s “Classic Pink Lady” crude, sounds classy Dirty Diana.

So when I dream about green, besides shoving Ruby’s panties aside. It was more to the point of my fantasies being slightly “sick” by “usual” standards. You know I’m reading “The Secret,” and I’m still listening to all my other motivations. All suggest you act as though you have what you want. Okay, I AM a Millionaire, (aim for what you want, I promised a million by September). Anyway, I AM going to Carson City, Nevada, that’s where all the brothels are. Now there’s one, the Mustang Ranch and a particular suite The Princess Room. However, what sort of man would choose such a room? There are, of course, other bordellos. The Moonlite Bunny Ranch and what is it with redheads and me these days? Nevertheless possibly my “worst” fantasy is that of “Ravishment” shudders.

I should calm down but remember how I’m all about redheads, Alice Little, Ruby Rae. There’s Courtney Carmody who I’ve done more “business” with these days. I’m sticking with the positive vibes. Again I AM a Millionaire; I AM a Pimp, I AM Powerful. You know the type of power it would take to get some of the hottest cosplayers to work for me. How much green do you think that would require. There is always more from guys like me. Diana, that of course, is the dream. Still these days it’s sickening to look at a woman as; there are some choice words. Well hell in my case I’m pretty damn good Dirty Diana.

There was a time I was all into getting down and dirty outside. One of the very few reasons I’m into camping, fishing. Making love under the stars or fucking like beasts in the grass. What about my “bad” ideas of voyeurism? However, these days the only thing I’m lusting for is “Dolla Dolla bill y’all.” That’s all I was doing at work today. I have created a playlist about my abundance of money, affirmations of wealth. I felt no fear of spending it today on Court. I’ll get the MILF to talk to me again at some point. Pretty women Green Around The Willie.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 276 ~Will Up’s His Game~

Too much helping myself but also too much self-help between, Spotify, Addiction beating apps, and books about the law of attraction, life is a game and keeping up the positivity I’m winning, I am, I AM. Will Up’s His Game more and more

Wednesday, April 3, 2019

Episode 276 ~Will Up’s His Game~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, become a life coach, a motivational speaker. Hell, why don’t I go all out and do what that lady says and become a preacher? I’ll have a YouTube channel like Tyrese Gibson. There is plenty of help just waiting out there.

If anything I’m finding that positive vibes can be as exhausting as the negative. So that’s why I don’t do self-help too often. Only isn’t that what this is, and my first sin today. Well beyond repeating myself is looking to God. You’ve heard this story before; I hate how my “OLDS” look at religion. Now I “worked” in a Christian bookstore for a bit. I mean I was heavy into it. I signed paperwork; I named characters for God. I read all I could. Nowadays I can’t stand the concept. Still, that isn’t to say I don’t take to heart a lesson here or there. A few spoken from Tupac Shakur. Another and another from Father Gabriel, The Walking Dead, The Battle For Alexandria.

When I couldn’t find God’s love and don’t get me started on his people, I wondered why no one ever loved me. Once again I turned to books about how to find love, making someone fall in love with you. There’s loving yourself only to the point that others could. Of course, this led me back into my poetry phase. I sound like a broken recording here, but it worked; for other guys. Lawmen are getting laid right now because of my work. It was like that time I did LSD and wrote nonstop about the “Winx Club.” In retrospect, it was somebody with a love of money. Even now I’m listening to a few motivations about that same thing. It keeps me way high.

Now that’s something else that all my motivations seem to have in common. You must become addicted, obsessed with self-improvement, with growth. Women talk a lot about not being good enough. Men can feel the same. Just now I read “We’re not porn addicts, we’re porn addicts in recovery.” Yes, thank you Miss Jessica Nigri and her Hermione Granger Cosplay. So yeah when it comes to my next sin besides not lasting a day of No Fap. You should have seen me on the first; I’m back on Brainbuddy. Now on a subscription basis, Patreon as well. No porn but a naked redhead am I right? Still reading The Secret and then I have to start back with my erotica reading group. You have to throw what you want out into the universe. At the day job, it’s always a million dollars Inspector. At the store, it’s a pretty girl.

It’s so hard staying up Inspector Echo I swear. Some things I have accomplished. I did three thousand words last night, five thousand the day before. I’m ahead in Camp NaNoWriMo so far. I even stood up to my General Manager. As for forgiveness, I’m still seeking help without, instead of looking within myself. I know I’m stronger than this, or I should be. So yes Will Up’s His Game.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 272 ~Will Is Not Ill~

Stupidity is a virus, and it’s like everyone is afraid of catching it from me, and I feel like I’m living in I Am Legend, only me and the dog; so who’s sick and who’s well, I would never give those monsters the satisfaction. Will Is Not Ill

Saturday, March 30, 2019

Episode 272 ~Will Is Not Ill~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, I’m not looking for a miracle. If anything I only need to get out of my “hard” bed. Now isn’t it ironic that for the things I want I’m quite content lying here? Still, I will purposely kill myself to get to the store on time.

Now I can name some genuine, honest to God, ha, illnesses. It’s the season for POLLEN. There are Springs and Summers I can’t recall because my mother would keep me doped up on Benadryl. Only that’s before they tweaked the formula and yes I’m that old. There’s the massive case of BLUE BALLS I’m suffering now. I have once again wasted one more day. While I wish I could say in recovery, and I have slept, at least 80% of it was porn related. The other 20% is half Youtube and 10%Zweihander; to say nothing of my mental health. A toss-up between depression and rage, B III isn’t helping either.

No, I’m not that far gone, but it sucks to have to remind you anyway and anyone else. I would never hurt my son; I wouldn’t do anything to a girl. The truth is that it doesn’t stop him from flinching. Doesn’t stop the girls from running and calling me a monster. The world is sick, not me, and before you ask how can I be so sure. Well besides the fact that Hemingway will call me out for it. That’s the thing, too many chefs in the kitchen and I keep adding more. There are Grammarly and Hemingway for my writing. Brainbuddy and NoFap to be a better man. My motivations and books, to keep me going forward. It’s a snail’s pace if anything. I know it Lady Lu.

What I can’t seem to find is the cure. Only I’ll keep popping myself with a rubber band to remind me of my stupidity. Also to keep me from punching somebody out. That ain’t healthy. My life goals to own a brothel, “love hotel,” strip club, restaurant, movie studio, and everything else. Truth is surrounding myself with porn isn’t helping, now sex? Hell, I want to be comfortable around people. Tell me when I feel that the most? When I have my Negan swagger. “THEY” are treating me like I’m STUPID though Lady Lu, that’s it. I become one of the dead; slaves aren’t considered alive. I’ll call a woman a lot of things, but stupid is crossing the line. I’m better than that; I will be. You want me to be positive? I’m Not Stupid, or dead. I AM ALIVE; sex makes me feel that Will Is Not Ill.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 271 ~Self-Harm, Write A Will~

As Johnny Cash sang “I hurt myself today.” I’m not attempting to feel; if anything I am only to0 lazy to get out of the way of everything that’s hurting me and I find even cheaper ways to. “Self-Harm, Write A Will” how many have I done

Friday, March 29, 2019

Episode 271 ~Self-Harm, Write A Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, they’ve already created Band-Aids, Beer. Somebody racked their Brain mass for Twitter. Only for Trump to use it the way he does. No Lady Sophia I’m not about to get political, what good would it do?

First off I’m not that STUPID. Wait am I, leaving my bag at the Day Job unattended for a few minutes. Of course, my mind has written the worst case scenario, a million times over. Still, the only person reading it is me. My left wrist, all day, I pinched, I snapped, I stung. I am reminding myself not to be STUPID. While I only became even more so. Tell me this what’s the correlation if any between depression and RAGE. Is it part of being Bipolar. It’s one more reason I write. The general manager said I say that the whole world is against me. So I create a world full of people in stories. All so I can do the most horrible things. I can kill them one after the other ending up Alone Again, naturally, The End.

Only it never is, is it, I don’t edit. Grammarly and Hemingway, are seas of color. Looking over my recent blogs, I don’t recognize myself anymore. Lady Sophia, at the same damn time I do. Allow me to dive into my fandoms once again. I might as well be a head on a stick in TWD. I need a golden pair of scissors and a red jumpsuit like in Jordan Peele’s “US.” So I can cut up this crap. Is that why I’m hurting myself? It’s only a rubber band, but I can’t stay awake. My eyes are a bloodshot red SNAP. Look up, POP, lift your feet PINCH. On and on but the RAGE Lady Sophia. So much, all at me, the man my “father” made me in existence. I’m STUPID no matter what.

My words might as well be, a sea of white in the shower though I’m abstaining now. Hasn’t even been a week yet, like those times I went without eating. I’m making room for more pain that I deserve. I ask myself WHY; I’m not suicidal or more like I’m lazy about the fact. Which again makes me STUPID. That’s my new word Lady Sophia, an oldie but a goodie. I suppose “skeevy” well who knows I may have lost one more friend today. Math is one of those things that did the most harm to me. My writing is the only way I can harm others. Torture for us all, but numbers? I know how many friends I lose, money, time, how many words for a new NaNoWriMo shirt. And this is how I hurt myself every day my great Self-Harm, Write A Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 270 ~Will Read In Bed~

Green, Yellow, Red, though I have always been one for brunettes myself, I can name quite a few redheads that aren’t pornstars; well until I head to “The Moonlite Bunny Ranch” someday, write my book, make a movie. Will Read In Bed.

Thursday, March 28, 2019

Episode 270 ~Will Read In Bed~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, opening a novelty store on top of all my business ventures. I can’t say it was on my to-do list. Plenty of girls are but anyway the Moonlite BunnyRanch has one. So “Second Circle Creations” needs its Merch as well.

Today, however (Tuesday 26th) “I’m just a little Unwell” as the song goes. I wish I could believe that this is all about women. I hate when pretty girls die, Enid, Tara, Addy. Relax, I’m talking about The Walking Dead and how old is Addy or Kelley Mack? I am not my father. Violence against women is a big HELL NO. Only I am a dominant, so in the spirit of SSC, I do enjoy some rough play. Still today the only red I see besides my eyes is my wrist, from popping myself. Okay, so I have looked up several “redheads” or the like today. I need anything just anything to take the edge of today’s ugly events. I’m so greedy Dirty Diana that goes without saying but here:

  1. Two Different “Addys” Z Nation, TWD
  2. Tessa Fowler
  3. Siri
  4. Court
  5. Ruby Rae
  6. Alice Little

Of course, that’s in no particular order. The red hair gets to me today. Yesterday it was blondes. Tomorrow probably goldilocks but it’s something about seeing dark haired girls. Decapitated, heads on pikes, reanimated that turns me off. Call me crazy but Frankie? You know that’s it. Enid, Tara, and Addy, I felt such attraction to but Frankie, I guess I didn’t feel the same. Not that she’s unattractive, but I think I didn’t see enough of her. Like my writing, I always need a muse in reality. Which also explains why I suck at it. Me being a louse, and how dare I make lists, that’s trouble. For now, my problems are named STRESS, HUMILIATION, and RAGE. I swear, my blood was boiling. I could stomp my way to Hell itself. Damn my wrist is ready to fall off with my punishments, you know.

Get your mind out of the gutter Dirty Diana; you remain innocent. I’m the guilty one and let’s not go into politics. I’m talking about my fantasies. You know I told you about my Purge TV story? Two runaway cultists want to hide with me. They are willing to do anything to stay the night. After The Walking Dead episode “The Calm Before” I’d like to be Prince Henry. I have to choose between Lydia and Addy (age appropriate). Could be a voyeur/participant. As Enid, Tara, perhaps Addy try to “convince” The Whisperers not to kill them by any means necessary. Cruel fantasies you think and haven’t I talked about escape. Should I instead be kept to the red of my anger? Some woman, book, or sweet dream. My Dirty Diana, Will Read In Bed.

I Will Have No Fear