Episode 115 ~Will Sees Red Again~

Well I was seeing red a few hours ago, and I’m voting blue soon enough if anyone asks, and work (not the day job) has been fruitful, well I guess that might be for you yo decide. “Will Sees Red Again”… no not at you silly

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

Episode 115 ~Will Sees Red Again~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, I know one thing I won’t be spending money on any black hoodies for a while but then again, work being work which is why I’m wearing the red one *sigh* let me explain. There are reasons you shouldn’t go around waving the Confederate flag, that “Very Fine People” would refrain from wearing Nazi uniforms, why KKK costumes are more about celebrating your heritage (of being an asshole) I’m just saying.

My first sin of the day *ahem* changing my clothes because wearing the same color as somebody I despise. Hell how about seeing the person I hate period doesn’t sit well with me, the rage has returned. Now I know you want to say that I control how I respond to people but let me put it this way, you’re going on a date, a girl gets dressed up, why… to get a reaction from you, and as much as most girls don’t want to admit it, if a guy is straight and seeing you, he wants to “bang” you, point blank period, get used to it. Some people I feel nothing for, some I want, and others fill me with rage, excuse me if my name isn’t Elsa and I won’t let it go, though there are ways, R.I.P.

“What, drawn, and talk of peace! I hate the word
As I hate hell, all Montagues, and thee” William Shakespeare

They say people can control you with rage, but that’s true on most emotions and what I feel today besides madness leads me to my second sin, how late this is coming along Inspector Echo but I did finish a short story, “Love The Way You Run,” still singing the praises of 5-hour ENERGY. Third would be the fact as I was telling “Indiana Gone” she knows what I think of my writing, but it’s supposed to hurt right, though it doesn’t bother me to say that my words suck most days. At least I think I know how to get through NaNoWriMo this year if tonight is any indication. Before I forget, how about politics, how stupid can some people be, and yes I will be going blue, my fourth sin, that YouTube at least thinks it can sway me somehow. Trump Sucks, Republicans.

Maybe I should have started talking to you first Inspector Echo; I swear I had some good stuff, but now I’m only blah awake, not feeling anything but getting a lot done, hopefully, no more porn, but some girls… Can you forgive me Inspector Echo for believing the clothes make the man is now an emotional response, how about for staying up late with TV and books, as always for hating my writing, and the state of politics, again I’m all blue, but today sorry but Will Sees Red Again?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 141 ~Relapse, I’m The Man~

40 Days and 40 Nights yeah right but I know it’s not impossible, 41 maybe but let’s just focus surviving this new week, because it’s going to be a doozy. Relapse, I’m The Man, or I truly want to be, I want to get better, I need to

Sunday, November 19, 2017

Lesson 141 ~Relapse, I’m The Man~

To Will:
No Fear, that will come later, as will everything else and I know it is hard it is damn hard to find anything to take solace in, to be proud of and I know I’m not and I can’t ask you to be. If anything though I ask you to simply acknowledge that you are still here for a chance… hmm, could that be the secret of life?

Bane: Now’s not the time for fear. That comes later. ― The Dark Knight Rises

See Christians fuck up but because they are saved it doesn’t matter to them and you fuck up tons but you don’t have that safety net and while death is not in the cards for now, and crucifixion is an ugly way to go, the fact is you don’t need to be saved this minute. Don’t people in rehab talk about taking it one day at a time, maybe that’s all this place is, just one big rehab so that my soul is ready, yeah you’ll have to excuse me for the religious connotations. Every day is a lesson, I tend to repeat myself because I am the one voice that you need to hear, now isn’t that something but before you laugh, just imagine about what is going on this week, the task that now stands before you waiting.

King Ezekiel: We have come this far. Our first victory will allow our second. The second will deliver our third. ― from The Walking Dead

I was talking to Lady Lu the other day and I said the point was to endure, I have also recognized that I just don’t want to survive, and then there is hope, which must be admired for being so hard to kill, just like us. What was it that kept you going last night to the early morning, and for once I am honestly not trying to be dirty, talk about how many times we have relapsed on that front. I even think about that saying of today is the first day of the rest of your life, annoying if nothing else but is this not what we do, start over again and again.

“It’s the end of the world. Did you think it would be easy? I don’t expect you to win. I don’t even expect you to live. Only endure.” Teen Titans

Should I give you a goal or tell you what I know you must do because you will get your chance, not this week, no this week you will do as you have always done and when you see the other side, well that will be a conversation for another. If you must have a goal though if you fall short if you don’t make the grade… okay that might be enough YouTube for today but if and when you find you can’t make it just say to yourself the truth, Relapse, I’m The Man

I Will Have No Fear

Four More Years, Days, Pages

The great, the amazing Johan Twiss, though that might be giving him too much credit, then again I gave this book five stars too and would you honestly like to know why I would do such a thing Four More Years, Days, Pages

“Sometimes I just wished life could be different”
4 Years Trapped in My Mind Palace

From the get-go, this is way more than four, five stars all the way and normally I don’t start with a rating but this is truly an awesome read. Now I’ve read Johan Twiss’s work before and to be honest I felt somewhat pressured to rank him somewhat high but with this work, I would give the guy more stars if I could, talk about having only seen the tip of the iceberg and I wish more books could be like this, just amazingly wow.

I’m not even sure what to call this genre since the first book of his I read “I AM SLEEPLESS: Sim 299 (Volume 1)” was clearly a sci-fi but with “4 Years Trapped in My Mind Palace” if I must compare it to anything it would be Andrew Davidson’s “The Gargoyle” just tuned for a younger demographic but don’t get me wrong, being an adult this book is amazing. Now the author sent me a free copy for an honest review and with my last review, I thought the sci-fi wording was somewhat wonky and while this is clearly a different sort of book, Johan clearly did his research. He even goes into detail about his research which means he is clearly hoping his fans might get him… message received Mr. Twiss and well done.

Usually, I’m one to talk about cliché and not to toot my own horn but I read plenty, I’m no critic but anybody who’s anybody will tell you I know my references but this story is quite unique and original. The rare form of “meningitis” for example, I’m sure most people would have gone straight for comatose but Aaron is quite active for someone that can’t move at all. As he is drawn into his Mind Palace we are drawn into him and as far as moving, I couldn’t turn the pages fast enough really.

Is it too soon to mention Solomon the great, Solomon the amazing, how about Solomon the wise, I’m sure the author mentioned King Solomon. Most can only hope for such a life, keeping in mind the joy and pain, sunshine and rain… something from my own memory/mind palace and that’s another thing the music, I swear I can hear it.

“People do this to me all the time. For some reason, they feel compelled to share their life problems and hidden secrets with me. Probably because I’m like a pet dog that can’t talk back. All I can do is sit and listen, even if I don’t want to”
― from Johan Twiss, 4 Years Trapped in My Mind Palace

You’ll find no, stop me if you’ve heard this from me today, at least not story wise, again I’ve somewhat seen the concept in The Gargoyle, Forrest Gump, and probably a hospital drama here and there but the story is an original and between you and me it beats interesting, truth be told I hate when people call my work interesting. Aaron Greenburg deserves so much more along with Solomon and most of the other characters, some were only bits but you felt for all of them, even Dr. Idiot.

So if you’re still listening how exactly would I sum this up, not that you shouldn’t already be looking this up for yourself… Aaron Greensburg has meningitis which prevents him from moving and speaking, his only respite being his mind palace until he meets Solomon who has the ability to hear Aaron’s mind and opens him up to his own history, from boxing to jazz, to World War II and if you want a trip to Disneyland or should I say Wonderland this is the book for you. My third favorite character has to be Solomon’s granddaughter Sarah, not trying to spoil anything yet but I would like to read more of Aaron’s future, immediate future while the ending itself is awesome.

As for the other characters, there was no waste, each character if only for a few pages was developed and felt so real; unique, original, leaving not a single doubt in my mind. Speaking of the mind, I sort of see Aaron’s mind palace as a video game or at best VR but when he began experiencing Solomon’s dreams and dementia, that was a whole new way to fly, Matrix parallel could be. The story brought out so much in me, can’t say I was much into jazz but my aunt would play her classics on the radio and tell stories here and there about her life sometimes.

Also while the author is being so creative, I like how he puts a bit of himself I mean his own experiences in this and he doesn’t sugarcoat any of it. Well, I take that back but I wished for just a moment to be sixteen again, did I mention how much I adored Aaron and Sarah throughout the story.

“Nothing hurts a man’s ego like hearing a pretty girl talk about all the cute guys she likes. Guys who are not him, that is”
― Johan Twiss, 4 Years Trapped in My Mind Palace

If you think I’ve oversold this book or you think I just talk too much, five stars and go out and get it because I’ll have to buy a physical copy myself and I’m about to spoil some of it. Is there anything that I don’t like about this book… *crickets chirp*, *tumbleweed drifts by* ahem okay so I’ll save that for the end huh.

The book has several Forrest Gump moments, as Aaron is inserted into pivotal moments in Solomon’s past and it comes out when both JJ and Big Tom compare Aaron to the person that helped Solomon and them as well, mind blown. There are grown women that need to be more like Sarah, I mean come on, a guy that always listens, thinks you’re the most beautiful thing ever, and is willing to do anything, even learn how to talk; a friend of mine and I agree that guys will literally do anything for a pretty girl which makes the ending even more spectacular. There are too many moments between Solomon and Aaron that I enjoyed so maybe another great scene I’ll leave with is the Valentine’s Day dance, so sweet.

Okay, I’m slightly annoyed that now I’m going to have to look up some jazz on Youtube, Blue In Green or how about that Jack Dempsey fight? The idea that I read the first book and was wondering how I was going to spend this title and now I’m stopping myself from typing awesome about a thousand times like doing a term paper in school. Speaking of school, perhaps that’s the only flaw, that ever so slightly I felt like I was reading some historical narrative I suppose but only really comes out at the end as Johan Twiss attempts to explain himself, like telling a joke but then having to explain it, I get it and there is so much he is trying to say and didn’t want to tick off the history buffs.

Five stars anyway but now the bar has been set, the first book he sent was a solid three but I went one higher because… anyway if I become a fan of Johan Twiss, two points is a line, three points a pattern, usually singers have to get me to like five songs, an author has to get five stars but shall I dare call myself a fan? This book hooked me, from start to finish and what higher praise is there that I want a physical copy for my traditional library, anyway I didn’t want Aaron to be stuck like that forever but really Four More Years, Days, Pages.

“Kid, some things in life just are what they are because God allows it to be so. Maybe we’re not meant to know all the answers. Maybe we’re not ready for them yet. Knowing them now won’t change a thing, and trying to figure it out will just take up our time and leave us with more questions. I’m old, and I don’t have much time to waste. I prefer to live life as it comes, and maybe, just maybe, I’ll get the answers to my questions after I die”
― Johan Twiss, 4 Years Trapped in My Mind Palace



Lesson 077 ~That’s Too Much Sauce~

It’s just too much but what am I supposed to do quit, maybe it would help if I ever got to bed at a decent hour but what are the odds of that happening anytime soon? That’s Too Much Sauce, would it hurt to have a day off

Saturday, September 16, 2017

Lesson 077 ~That’s Too Much Sauce~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear and maybe then you will find a little less silence; what am I talking about, well I was a rather chatterbox, not to people but my camera and that is something. Long story short I was busy trying to cook and I decided to put it on camera, I’m still working on it now but I had to find time to sit down and talk.

You should sit down or we need to talk is never a great way to start a conversation, I’m sure we’ve been over that but neither is spending all day in bed. Burning the candle at both ends, how about burning the midnight oil, as long as I’m not burring the house down but the way things have been going… Seriously I should just step back for a little bit, it’s not like I’m letting anyone down, maybe one person on Instagram, one on Whisper, the individual isn’t that right?

“The needs of the many, outweigh…

The needs of the few.

Or the one.” Star Trek, The Wrath of Khan

I swear I was at the last of my energy, writing and my day job and now trying to do videos as well, whatever is the price of success if that is truly what I have been after all this time and what would I call too high a price? It’s not wrong is it to take a step back and try to recover, anger, fear, desire, sometimes I actually envy those people who find any sort of peace lasting longer than a few seconds. Am I trying to justify, taking a break to you, yeah you remember the last break we took and it hasn’t been three months yet and I won’t abandon you this time… do I promise?

“There’s a peace only to be found on the other side of war. If that war should come I will fight it!” First Knight (1995)

I’m going too far on one side of the line but I can’t go back to a blank slate either but then again I was pumping out 5,000 words daily when it came to my writing and that seems a Herculean task considering I was trying to make life easier. I’ll probably take tonight to think about it, or probably not but if I could just talk like I was doing today with the video and of course I will always have a respect for the written word, I can’t.

So what have I learned today besides the fact that I can’t give up being with you like this but I can’t keep up this sort of pace you know Luna That’s Too Much Sauce.

I Will Have No Fear